Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63598 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
A/N: There is some disturbing content in this chapter; not that you haven’t been properly warned by the story summary. Just in case, consider yourself warned a second time!
Remus could feel Snape whispering through his mind; a light breeze that could turn to hurricane force winds at a moment’s notice. He remembered Harry’s description of undergoing Snape’s brutal casting of this spell in his lessons with the man; they sounded nothing like what he was experiencing right now.
It had been years since he had underwent this specific spell; not since Lily and James’ murders. He had been grilled by a Ministry Auror who had refused to believe that a werewolf could be so close to such a thing and not be involved. After days of grueling sessions and things he didn’t even know their government condoned, they turned him loose with a warning that they would figure it out, although they had never contacted him again on the matter.
Remus felt gentle pressure, probing here and there; the feeling of Severus going forward and withdrawing, trying to find what he was looking for in some other way than just grabbing and tearing it out into the open. Remus closed his eyes, not sure they were working properly anyway; he attempted to make his mind blank, anything not to purposefully inhibit his master’s search. He did his best to relax, to will the memory forward and out of the small box he had locked it in in the far corner of his mind. He didn’t know how long Snape’s patience would hold out and he knew how completely the man could devastate him if it did.
Severus’ voice appeared in his head much the same way his own thoughts would, “Try to keep your breathing deep and even; I believe I am almost there.”
Snape had been doing this long enough that he navigated the other man’s thoughts with little difficulty. Remus’ mind was an unrolled scroll, he focused only on the memory he needed to see, tempting as all the others may be. Remus’ motivations had always been somewhat of a mystery to him, though this was neither the time nor the method to satisfy his curiosity. He knew it the moment he saw it; he could feel Lupin trying to push it forward and to keep it hidden in equal measures.
Using all his finesse his magic possessed, Severus ushered the memory to the front of the other man’s mind. It was still closed slightly; he pried gently at its edges, loosening them slowly. He had little success, Lupin would either need to let him in or he would need to use more force.
“Remus; you need to allow me access.”
The words floated through Remus’ consciousness. “I don’t know if I can, master.”
This entire affair seemed to be distressing Lupin, and he was not even inside the memory yet. “If you could, would you permit me to see it?”
“Yes, sir. If I knew how to open it I would.” Remus sounded plaintive, knowing that Snape would have to force his way in there; he didn’t have the skills to bring the memory forth.
Severus tried the edges of the memory again, effortlessly gaining access.
Remus knew he had succeeded instantly, though he was not quite sure how. His skin was crawling; they were in Walden’s own bedroom. He smelled that same closed in smell, almost felt the carpet burning his knees as he saw himself kneeling on the floor. His hands were bound behind his back, he was naked; a rope tied him to one of the thick bed pillars, a blindfold covered his eyes.
Lupin struggled to keep his own breathing even, his own mind clear, though he was flooded with emotions; sensations, or the memory of. It was like he was a third party, but he felt the same fears and pains fluttering around him like angry ghosts. He wondered what would happen if his body vomited while he was in here. Would he suffocate before he or Severus could do anything about it? It was only a concern because as he watched Macnair walk closer to his body, he felt he might retch.
Severus was there; Remus could feel his staunch presence in his mind like he was backed up against cold steel. Knowing the man was watching closely, hell, taking mental how-to notes, was more than his brain could process at this exact point in time.
Severus reminded himself that he needed to remain as detached as possible. This event, however it unfolded, had already taken place. There was nothing he could do that would change that fact. He could use his skill with Legilimency to help Lupin relax; to quiet the pain this memory would likely cause him to feel. The echo of pain still felt the same; he knew this to be true.
They watched Walden circle Remus’ kneeling form, saw him take his hand and run it down the werewolf’s face in a pretense of affection.
“You don’t want me to do that to him again, do you?” Walden’s voice was heard, speaking mockingly.
“No, master, please,” Remus’ voice broke. He said hurriedly, “I’ll do what you want; just tell me what to do.”
Unbidden, a flash of memory washed over Severus; Lupin must not have been able to suppress it. The sound of a whip crack slashed across the air; Snape knew Remus was remembering the horrific spectacle of his son receiving the whipping he’d described in a previous conversation. Snape focused and projected a calm that he manufactured within himself. Hopefully it would help both their nerves.
“I knew you’d see it my way,” Macnair sneered. He pulled out a scrap of parchment and paused to read it for a moment.
Snape just about choked when he realized it was a jot note list of the enslavement spell. The bloody thing had taken eighteen pages of cramped text, referencing no less than three other source materials to fully explain the spell, and he was going off of the cliff notes. Snape tried to keep his cool; Walden had always been the type to cut corners.
Macnair pulled the blindfold from Remus’ eyes; unbound his hands. “Don’t move, or that last show will just be the opening act.”
He opened a chest at the foot of the bed and brought out a fine strand of rope that glinted in the light. “It may be lightweight cord, but it’s run through with silver wire. I wouldn’t pull too hard on this stuff; you’ll regret it with your dirty blood.” He drew Remus hands back to where they had been tied tightly at the small of his back.
“I’ll try,” Remus said dryly.
Walden tugged sharply on the ropes, digging the silver into Remus’ wrists. Lupin cried out in surprise, welts already starting to appear where his skin had made contact with the metal.
“I’ll try, master,” Walden snarled, pulling the knot even tighter.
Remus gasped, but didn’t say anything in return.
“You’re not to see for some of this. It recommends a blindfold, but since you’ve been such an uncooperative bastard so far, I’ve decided to use a more efficient method instead. Vis Vires Caecus.”
Remus watched himself go still in terror. He remembered the feeling of his eyes being open and blinking, nothing but darkness was his landscape.
“Behave, and I’ll consider returning your sight.” Walden walked away.
Remus remembered straining to hear those footfalls, listening for any sign that indicated the other man was returning. He had wanted nothing more than the freedom to put his hands up over his sightless eyes, to rub at them with his knuckles, though he knew it wouldn’t do a single thing. Walden had already taken his magic away at this point, the collar preventing him from doing absolutely anything to fight back.
Severus watched the Lupin in the memory struggle to breathe, to stay still as he had been told. He was clearly panicking, both in the remembrance and the current time. He continued to observe, while looking for the part of Remus that was watching and reliving this event; if he could find him, there was a possibility he could help him through this, if the other man was willing to accept anything from him at this moment. All the while, the memory continued.
Macnair returned to run his hands across Lupin’s bare shoulders, watching his muscles jump, not knowing where he was going to be touched next.
Snape watched as Walden stepped back, removing his trousers, standing naked, though he lost none of his power as the man at his mercy couldn’t see him; or anything at all for that matter.
Finally Severus reached out and found the trembling part of Lupin’s mind that was observing with him. He extended a part of his consciousness, enfolding the man in it, doing everything in his power to exude peace.
At the same time, he watched as Macnair came around to stand in front of Lupin, using his own hand to pump his member to hardness, looking down at his slave with a lecherous grin. He pressed the tip of his hardening cock against Remus’ closed lips.
Lupin pulled back, figuring out in a hurry what was going on even without his sight.
“Open your mouth,” Walden commanded coldly. “I won’t tell you twice that I’d better not feel teeth.”
Remus’ jaw dropped out of sheer surprise; that didn’t stop Walden from taking advantage of the motion. He pressed into Remus’ mouth, one hand around the base of his cock, the other one sliding through Lupin’s hair, grabbing a fistful of it on the back of his skull roughly. Pulling with his hand and thrusting with his hips simultaneously, he pushed himself down Remus’ throat in swift angry motions.
Severus involuntarily pulled his consciousness and Remus’ away from the scene a distance. Even as a Death Eater, scenes like this had turned his stomach, though as always, he did what was deemed necessary to gather information for ‘the greater good’.
Snape felt Remus’ mind contract at the same moment he knew Macnair was coming, both hands holding Remus’ mouth onto him as he did so, despite the sounds the man had made while almost choking. He thrust him to the floor a mere moment after he had finished.
Severus knew the level of revulsion he was feeling currently; there was no way to hide it from Lupin.
Macnair lay on his bed for a moment, gathering his breath and his strength. Lupin lay limply on the floor, gasping for breath and trying valiantly not to puke, hands tied behind his back all the while, face pressed into the ground. He appeared to have neither the strength nor the will to haul himself upright.
After an undefined period of time, Walden pulled himself off the bed, moving Remus up over it with no care, casting a spell that would immobilize the other man in that position, holding him there magically.
From the trunk at the foot of the bed he pulled out a whip, longer than the one he had used on Teddy, but with small glinting shards entwined in the end of each lash. Without introduction or hesitation he brought it down with all his strength over Remus lover back, the barbed lashes curling around his left buttock.
Lupin yelped in pain and shock; he hadn’t known the bite of the whip was coming until it rang across his skin.
Walden continued to beat the whip across Lupin’s exposed flesh, sparing none that was within easy reach. Severus saw with revulsion that the more Remus cried out and struggled against his physical and magical bonds, the more aroused Macnair appeared. He wondered if this was supposed to symbolize part of the spell, or if Walden was just doing it for fun.
Remus back was a mess of torn flesh and blisters when Walden finally thrown down the whip and lunged forward. He used his large hands to spread Remus open, merely spitting onto him for lubricant, before plunging cruelly into the smaller man.
The Remus in the memory shrieked as his whole body shuddered and jerked with agony. Macnair didn’t slow down, ramming into him with little restraint. He brought his hands up, raking his fingernails cross the forming welts on Lupin’s back. He groaned the spell, choppy Latin tumbling from his lips beside the sounds of his own pleasure. It seemed to take him forever to come as he watched himself sliding in and out of Remus’ helpless arse, pulling on the ropes binding the Lycanthrope’s arms behind his back in opposition to the powerful thrusting motion his hips were waging. Lupin grunted in time to Macnair’s pounding, unable to keep himself silent as the other man continued on in merciless unrestraint.
Lupin had turned so his face was pressed into the mattress. Walden grabbed a handful of his hair, pressing him into the thick cloth so that he couldn’t breathe; his chest still rising and falling with uneven sobs. With one brutal thrust, Macnair was coming inside of him, profanity falling from his lips as he did. He left Remus over the bed as he pulled out and away, leaving blood and cum to trickle unchecked down the prone man’s thighs.
Remus heard him padding away, the sound of water running in the adjacent bathroom; he had left him magically bound in that position while he took time to shower himself.
Remus had sobbed brokenly into the comforter, tears all dried up even before Walden returned.
“Apparently, I’m to clean you as well.” He placed his wand near Remus buttocks and muttered, Scourgify.
The pain of that specific spell grated over Remus’ whiplashes, across and inside his bleeding anus. Walden released him from his position on the bed, allowing him to slide from the mattress to the floor.
“I’m also supposed to give you somewhere to sleep. Hope you’re comfortable.” The smug man climbed over Remus crumpled body and into the bed, covering himself with the sheets and quilt. As Remus’ erratic breathing became too much to bear, Walden spelled him silent and rolled over, his back facing the side of the bed that Remus was laying by.
“We’re going to have to do that again.” Walden murmured, closing his eyes.
Snape didn’t stick around in the memory to see how long his once ally had left Remus lay bound on the floor like that. He pulled carefully out of Lupin’s mind, wrapping the recollection up as closely as he could to the way he had found it, pushing it back to where Lupin had brought it out from using only his own strength. He found himself breathing hard, some powerful but elusive emotion weighed down on his chest as he looked over at Remus, who had his eyes clenched shut and was swallowing against dry heaves.
“There; it’s over. I’m sorry I had to do that.” He found the statement to be true.
Remus couldn’t look at him. Snape sat patiently, waiting for the other man to re-orient himself in the present.
“You got what you wanted?” Lupin croaked his breathing irregular and shallow.
“I did,” he said quietly.
Remus’ body was shaking, his teeth chattered together. He was trying vainly to pull the covers closer around his shoulders, trying to shield his body from view.
Severus sat in the chair, motionless for a moment. That was definitely the Walden Macnair he remembered. He fought against the uprising of his own memories; thankful that the full moon was still as far away as it was. The bonding would not be completed before then, he needed all the time he could to prepare.
Walden had completed only about three fifths of the spell, as its original form dictated. Snape believed that by following all of the steps the spell laid out, as well as by choosing symbolism that opposed the signs Walden had used, that he may be able to come out with an almost totally different end result. It also helped if one completed the Latin invocation properly; why Macnair had chosen to cast it at that moment baffled him. He would do some more digging.
He spelled the glass full of water again, leaning closer to Lupin to help him take a couple of sips. “Here,” he said softly; it probably wouldn’t take much to startle Remus in his present state of mind. Merlin; he had to give him the healing potion still.
He tilted the glass slowly, allowing Remus to drink as fast as he was able without spluttering on excess liquid.
“Oh, thank you, master.” Remus moaned in appreciation.
“Remus, it’s me; Walden is dead,” Snape explained slowly, trying to bring Lupin in to the present time and out of his memory.
Tears pooled in Remus’ eyes. “Of course, sir.” He shook his head. ”I suppose you want me to take that potion now.” There wasn’t much hope in his voice,
“Later, yes. Just focus on your breathing; try to calm yourself.”
“I can’t sir,” Remus said desperately.
“I know you are able to.” Snape thought for a way to help ground the other man in the present. It occurred to him after a moment.
He pulled open the nightstand drawer, picking up something square that was wrapped in gold foil. He carefully unpeeled the wrapper, exposing a bar of Honeydukes chocolate he had stashed in the room a day or so before the Lupins arrived. The bloody werewolf had always looked at the sweet as some sort of holistic cure-all. If he’d believed it had helped with Dementor attacks, it couldn’t hurt for a short bout of Legilimency.
Snape himself believed it had no helpful properties at all, other than curing a sweet tooth, but who was he to argue with a tool he could use to his advantage?
He broke off a square and popped it into Lupin’s mouth.
Remus started back, about to spit out whatever had just been forced on him, when the sweet started to melt on his tongue. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He leaned back against the pillow, allowing the square to dissolve slowly, enjoying every last second, resisting the urge to bite into it, to devour it. He couldn’t remember the last time he had tasted chocolate.
Snape sat patiently, waiting for the sweet to be gone, or from some reaction out of Remus.
Lupin’s face twisted. “Thank you for not… forcing that memory out of me, sir.”
“Your actual permission to me to see the memory, allowed me to access it with no force,” Snape explained, pleased the other man was in a good enough place to have a conversation, no matter how mundane.
“I didn’t know that’s all it would take.”
“Yes, well the sharing of memories is the easy part; it’s trying to keep them hid that takes all the practice.”
“You’d know better than me, sir.” Remus still seemed distant. He was participating as much as he felt was needed, that was it. Honestly, it was better than Snape had hoped it was going to be.
“That’s probably true. Aside from shaken, how do you feel; any headaches or dizziness?” These were the routine questions.
“No, sir,” Remus said hollowly.
“Good,” Severus said with a nod. He rubbed at his eyes; his sleeplessness was only beginning. A couple of more hours and he’d have to slip back down to the lab to begin the next step of Teddy’s Wolfsbane.
“What now, sir?” Remus asked, feeling that the anticipation of waiting for Snape’s next move almost more than he could handle.
“You are going to rest for a moment; give your mind and body a break before taking more of that healing elixir. I imagine you would like a few minutes to yourself; I’m going to wake up Teddy and make a pot of tea.”
“What do you need Teddy for?” Remus asked swiftly. He still seemed to thinking through a thick fog.
“I don’t need him for anything; I’m going to rouse him so he can use the loo. I did the same thing last night, do you remember?” Memory loss would be a very bad sign.
Remus brought his good hand up to his forehead, “I think I recall that, sir. It’s hard to remember much after taking that potion.”
“That’s to be expected,” Severus said, standing. He was secretly relieved; he’d never been that far into the mind of a man his magic understood him to have so much power over. He had been as careful as possible, but it was still good to make sure no unseen damage had been done while he was looking around in there. “I will be back soon; try to clear your mind.” It was the best advice he could give; it had been the only thing that had ever worked for him.
He went to Teddy’s room, taking a minute to look down at the sleeping child before waking him. The boy woke slowly, allowing himself to be led into the hall and to the loo. Snape waited in the hall for him to come back out, making the short walk back to his room with him.
The boy climbed back into bed, Severus drew his covers back over him, straightening them as he did so.
Teddy blinked sleepily up at him, fighting to stay awake but having little luck now that he was back under the warm blankets. “Thank you, sir,” he said slowly.
“It is no trouble,” Severus replied quietly; hanging around for a couple of minutes until the child’s breathing evened out. Snape backed into the hallway, closing the door slightly and heading down the stairs without turning off the hallway light.
In the kitchen he made a strong pot of tea without the use of magic. He needed something to do with his hands. Snape checked the time and finding that there was still plenty of it left, placed the pot and two cups onto a tray, taking them back upstairs.
Lupin appeared to have remained completely still the entire time he was gone.
He set the tray down on the nightstand, stacking the used plate and cup from supper off to one side. Carefully he poured two steaming cups of tea, setting the pot down and giving them a moment to cool.
Snape cast the featherweight spell on Remus’ tea cup, maneuvering it into the other man’s healthy hand. He watched as he brought it up to his mouth and took a sip. He was shaky, but seemed to manage fairly well. He then picked up his own cup, warming his cold hands on it gratefully.
“So when do you want to complete it then?” Remus said suddenly.
Snape was mildly surprised. “The ceremony? I have not changed my mind, Lupin. I will wait until you are in better condition.”
Lupin’s face blanched. “Of course, sir.”
Severus realized that what he’d just said may have sounded cold, if taken the wrong way. “I have read all the material I can get my hands on; anything that even references the spell Macnair used. It is a unique spell; much of it is left up to the choices of the dominant wizard. It will be difficult for you to go through, no matter what I decide; but I will not allow you to undergo that while your body is in its present state.” That hopefully clarified something for the werewolf. He decided to leave out the part about the letter the Ministry had sent him, not seeing the good in disclosing that information at the present time.
“Yes, sir,” Remus said with little enthusiasm.
Severus ran his hands across his face in one stressed movement. He fought the urge to tell Lupin that he was doing the best he damn well could, given the situation. Instead, he decided to change the subject to another topic. It may not be any less loaded, but at least he had a better handle on it.
“In just over an hour I will need to go see to Teddy’s Wolfsbane. It would be best if you took the healing potion before that time.”
“Sir, how can you expect him to take the Wolfsbane, he’s only a boy!” Remus seemed unable to control himself.
Snape fought the urge to smirk; he knew that one would wake Lupin up.
“It isn’t the same Wolfsbane you will be taking. It is a modified version that I have been formulating on and off for the past eight years. The ingredients that would harm your son by destroying his heart and liver have been brought to sixteen percent under the levels claimed safe for his body to handle, being a lycanthrope.”
“But how do you expect it to work; I suppose it’s the monkshood and the nightshade that is cut back on mostly? Isn’t that what makes it actually do something?” Remus knew he was being difficult; rude even, but he found he didn’t care. Lord, what would he say with that healing potion in his veins?
“The brewing process is altered slightly; you are right, it is the aconite and nightshade that are slightly more than halved. I have counteracted this change by adding White Mountain Cap mushrooms imbibed with pure vinegar and camphor. The reactions are long and complicated; I ran every scenario I could think of, the results will not harm the boy.”
“But will it work?”
“I believe so,” Severus said slowly. “If not, I will have taken the proper precautions. It will help to calm him if it does nothing else. All my calculations lead me to believe that he will retain at least some of his mind during the transformation; I can modify it so that next month’s batch is better.”
“Precautions? I thought you weren’t going to lock him in a cage; at least that’s what you keep saying. Sir.”
“He will be in an enclosed space; not a cage. I will be locked inside with him; on the off chance that something goes wrong, someone needs to be there with the knowledge and ability to assist him.”
“What?” Remus asked flat out.
“It is unlikely that he will have any adverse reactions to the potion; when I say I have done all of the conceivably possible reaction calculations, I honestly mean it. I spent months pouring over the possible surprises that could occur; the only variable that I couldn’t factor in is that Teddy is a born lycanthrope. There is little resource material pertaining to that type of werewolf, never mind information on born lycanthropes and the Wolfsbane potion.”
“You’re going to be in the same room as him, and you’re not even sure this new version of the potion will keep him in his right mind?” Remus sounded almost angry. “Exactly what are you trying to achieve, sir?”
“This isn’t some part of a sinister grand plan, Lupin; although considering both our histories I could see how you’d jump to that assumption.” Severus sipped his tea. “I will be in the room with him while he transforms into the wolf; as I will still be there when he reverts to his original form. Nothing you will say can change my mind on the matter; we both know I understand the risks involved.”
“But, sir, what if-“
“Yes; what if, indeed. What if he has an allergic reaction during his change? I should just let him choke on his own tongue? What it he transforms without his mind intact? He will tear through his own flesh because there is nothing else for him to do.”
“You would rather he tore through yours instead? Because if he doesn’t retain his consciousness, that’s exactly what he’s going to try and do! He may be small, but I guarantee you he will be stronger when he is transformed than he is now by far, sir.”
It almost sounded like Remus was concerned for him. Good thing he knew better. “This is not something I am inexperienced with,” he said, cursing himself as he did; that statement alone gave away more than he was comfortable with. “I have a complete set of dradonhide gloves, bracers, shin guards, boots, a helmet and apron. I have the knowledge of wards and non-fatal defensive spells that would be needed to protect myself in the worst of circumstances.”’
“Seriously? You’re trying to tell me that you are ‘experienced’ with spending entire transformations with young lycanthropes who are not rendered safe by the Wolfsbane? I don’t care what your job description was during the war or after it; I find that difficult to believe.”
Severus could have laughed; leave it to Remus Lupin to strike the nail on the head with his eyes closed. What in the world was he supposed to say that didn’t involve having to tell the entire story? He knew Greyback had been the one to turn Remus when he was only a child; he knew some of the things Lupin had to endure to infiltrate the Werewolf packs to try and unite them against him and his propaganda, against Voldemort. The last thing he wanted was to alienate Lupin on the basis that he had worked with Greyback once; with the stories of the things they had done.
“You’re just going to have to take my word for it,” he said. “I would not put myself in a position where I thought I would become infected; the ramifications would be too great, specifically for your son. The Ministry would put him down; there would be no contesting it. You need to believe I have the greatest faith in my ability to survive the night unscathed.”
Remus’ brow furrowed. “I wish I could, sir.”
Snape wanted to shake him. Instead, he said, “I will not put him in that position. Or look at it like this, if you have to: why would I pay that kind of gold for your son, only to bring him back here and set it up for him to be put down by the Ministry not even a month later?”
Remus was still. Then he brought his good hand up to his temple. “I want to believe you, sir. But if you’re wrong…”
Severus let out a huff. “Then stay in the room with us. Your potion has been tested; I am familiar with making it so it is modified to your metabolism; your potion will not be in question. You should be able to keep him in line just by being larger than he is; he isn’t yet at the age where he would even consider vying with you for dominance.”
“You have to be kidding.”
“I rarely jest.”
“Sir, to be in the same room as two fully transformed werewolves is insanity for one who is not infected.” Remus sounded like he was trying to explain a very simple concept to an incredibly stupid child. “I think that statement is true, no matter the circumstances.”
Again, Snape held back a smile; he definitely liked Lupin better when he was angry. “Thank you for your very astute conclusion, Professor Lupin,” he said with a half-smile.
“This is my son’s life, sir.”
“As I well know. There is no other way, Lupin. The alternative is too grim; if no one is there with him, even the slightest complication may cause extreme results. I need to observe; I will be fully protected and able to intervene if anything unexpected happens. If It makes you feel better, there is reasonable doubt that the bond between him and I will permit him to harm me, even in his transformative state.”
Remus looked at him quietly, seeming to judge him where he sat.
Severus continued, “There is enough time for us to work this out; his potion isn’t even fully made yet. As for right now, I believe you should take the healing potion. If we wait too much longer, I may have to leave before you have fallen asleep. You will be understandably disoriented, considering the events of the evening.” Evade, evade, evade.
“Of course, sir.”
Snape took the potion out of the bottom of the nightstand, he uncorked it and offered it to Remus, who drank the same amount he had the night before.
Lupin’s head fell back against the pillow, for a moment his breath seemed to become short before evening out.
Snape could see a fine layer of perspiration form across Remus’ forehead. He waited; it took only a short time for this potion to start doing its work.
“How are you feeling, Remus?” Severus asked when he was sure it had started to take hold.
“Confused, sir,” the other man answered honestly, his eyes glassy and a little unfocused. “Ashamed. Maybe… outraged, about something.”
“Physically though,” Severus pressed. “Any unusual discomfort or pain?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary sir. Except that my feet are starting to itch.”
“You seemed to be experiencing that last night as well; I believe it is normal. Remember not to scratch.” Severus wondered how many times they would have this conversation before Lupin was healed. The man seemed to forget himself the moment that potion hit his stomach.
“Alright, sir.”
Remus wasn’t making eye contact; the look on his face was unsettling. Snape waited to see if the other man would let anything slip.
“Why do I feel like this, master? Have I done something awful?” Remus asked.
Snape could almost hear him thinking, trying to recover anything to explain what was going on inside of him. He had known there would be disorientation and temporary loss, but to see it affect the other man so drastically gave him cause for concern. He needed to talk to the lycanthrope for a bit, determine if his confusion was worse tonight than last; if so, they would need to reconsider the use of this potion on a long term basis. Although, it may have to do with the recent bout of Legilimency Remus had just undergone.
“No, you haven’t done anything wrong.” Snape decided to get it out of the way before Lupin thought to panic about it. “Teddy is sleeping in the next room, he is fine.”
“Oh, thank you, master,” Remus said, his voice thick. “He tries so hard to be good.”
Severus raised an eyebrow. “He is a very well behaved young man, as far as I’ve seen.”
Lupin smiled, the corners of his lips curving upward gently. “He wants you to like him.”
Snape frowned slightly. “I will not harm him because we have a difference in personality.” He’d only chucked one jar of cockroaches at Potter in the entire time he’d known him, and he’d aimed to miss. If that wasn’t a testament to his discipline and self-restraint, Snape didn’t know what was.
“I don’t think it’s like that, sir; not entirely.” Something seemed to occur to Remus mid-thought; his face brightened with the realization. “I’ve seen you help him! You’re the only adult that’s ever been able to encourage him like that. He wouldn’t have said a kind word if Teddy had solved a seventh year Arithmancy problem. I was never permitted to…”
Snape leaned forward a little. “You are now; without your praise, mine will be at best insufficient. I will do all I can to encourage him, but you will always be his father, no matter what influence I have over him, you must understand that he will value your words above all else.” He was having a serious case of deja vu; how many years had it been since he had almost this exact same talk with Lucius, though of course under completely different circumstances? “We will discuss this in greater detail tomorrow, when you will be more yourself.”
“Of course, master.” Remus let the subject drop without another word.
“I’ll have to be going downstairs soon; it’s best if you try and get some sleep.”
Remus closed his eyes with a deep sigh. There was a blessed minute of silence before Lupin gave a start. “You saw my memory. Of the ceremony.” He sounded horrified.
Snape almost swore, he’d been hoping the conversation was over. “Yes, I did.”
Remus colored, he looked as if he might be ill at any second.
“It needed to be done; I won’t have to do it a second time.”
“Thank you, master.”
“Don’t thank me,” Snape hissed, unable to stop himself. “Not for that, at any rate. It was necessary, or I would never have done it to begin with.”
Remus screwed up his face. “I could feel it, you know.”
“What?” Snape was really starting to get pissed off, whether with the situation or what he had just had to do, he was unsure.
“Your repulsion.” Remus wasn’t making eye contact again. “You were sickened by me, it was almost overwhelming. Thank you for not acting on it was what I meant, master.”
Severus sat there looking blankly at Remus. “Lupin, I wasn’t disgusted with you. There was little you could have done in that situation but to go along with what Macnair wanted.”
“You really think so, sir?”
“Yes, Lupin. I really think so. Your only other option was to refuse him. Then, he would have done anything to make you give in; including things that would make the whipping of your boy seem like a light scolding. You would have relented eventually, but it would have cost you much more. ” He knew as well as anyone just what Walden was capable of.
Remus seemed somewhat relieved. “Hearing you say that makes me feel a little better, sir.” The fact that Snape wasn’t using every chance to throw the events of the ceremony in his face wasn’t hurting either.
“Good, hopefully that will help you rest.”
“Master-” Remus began.
“Sleep, Lupin,” Severus interrupted with authority, knowing that his time was running low.
“Yes, sir.” Remus closed his eyes again.
“I will be up to check on you in a few hours.” Severus set the wards that would alert him to any problems, standing and walking to the door.
Remus smiled crookedly without opening his eyes. “Thank you, master.”
Snape left without another word; another couple minutes of that and he was liable to kill the other man. He was finding his patience was diminishing every hour he stayed awake; he wasn’t as young as he once was. Trying to clear his mind as he had recently suggested to Lupin, Severus left the room, the other man’s eyes had already drooped shut.
A/N: I struggled with this chapter for quite some time, wondering exactly how I should write it. My apologies if it came across as too strong or unnecessarily explicit; I did my best to balance everything so the magnitude of Remus’ treatment by Macnair could be seen. I know it isn’t always the easiest thing to read; my most sincere apologies if anyone was offended. More positive things will be coming in further chapters, I promise.
My undying thanks for reading and reviewing! Please let me know what you thought, as always!
Vis Vires Caecus – as best as I could find means roughly ‘forced blind’. Again, I’m no Latin expert, so go easy on me.
- 11
- 12
- 13
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Long Road