A Delicate Obsession
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
24
Views:
17,969
Reviews:
191
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
24
Views:
17,969
Reviews:
191
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Of Times Lost and Times Remembered
Chapter 12 – Of Times Lost and Times Remembered
It all belongs to Rowling, except what you don’t recognize.
“Dearest Severus,
I’m sorry for rushing off the other day. And I’m very sorry about not being able to give you the details of my life. I’m also sorry if I ever hurt you, it was never my intention.
I love you. Sometimes I don’t think love is enough, but it’s all that I have to give you. Please forgive me if it isn’t adequate to our needs.
Our time together was wonderful. I savor each moment. I wish I were better able to express myself. I hope that we will be together this Saturday. If, for any reason, I can’t make it, please know that it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be there.
Love,
Laura”
Hermione sighed. It was sophomoric at best. She just couldn’t come up with the right words to express her feelings of joy and love. Her fear seemed to taint everything. And why that last line? Of course she’d be there. Wouldn’t she? Yes, she was scared, mostly because their relationship was so damned intense. She commanded the auto-rite quill to remove the last line. She folded the love letter and headed to the owlery. She planned to find an owl that was just visiting and be able to convince him to do this favor for her. She had plenty of owl snacks in her pocket if persuasion were needed.
&&&
Hermione’s owl arrived at Sunday breakfast and Severus tucked the parchment away in a pocket before his fellow professors could get too nosy. He was still having a hard time coming to terms with Dumbledore’s little jibe. Dumbledore always seemed to believe that his pranks were a great way to get Severus to ‘loosen up’ a bit. The last thing Severus ever wanted was to be loosened up.
Finally in the privacy of his own chambers, Severus unwrapped the parchment and read it. One of the first things he noted about the parchment was that an auto-rite quill had concealed the penmanship. Why should Laura do that? It didn’t make sense. Also, she seemed to have a guilty conscious, so many apologies and for what? They had agreed upon these conditions of secrecy. Still, she had intuited that he’d been hurt by her abrupt departure and was kind enough to apologize. He treasured that.
He found himself that Sunday spending an inordinate amount of time in thought about her, wondering what her background was and trying to imagine any scenario that would fit the puzzle pieces that were mounting.
Snape also had something else on his mind. Since making love with Laura yesterday, he had a newfound desire to confront his memories of Tara. He couldn’t let them stay there in the pensieve: he didn’t want others viewing them after his death. But he was also unwilling to destroy them. His evolving love for Laura had created a need to confront his past.
He stared at the pensieve that had been sitting on his desk and finally dipped his wand into it, withdrawing a long silvery filament:
Snape was seventeen again and had only been an apprentice to Potions Master Bernardus for a week or so. He recognized the old Hogsmeade lab and then:
“Oh stop sneering, didn’t your mum ever warn you that your face could stick that way?”
Snape turned to see Tara, the senior apprentice, look at him with disgust. “All right now. I asked you to scrub those cauldrons and you did a piss poor job of it. What spell did you use?”
“The usual one,” young Snape said with a barely contained snarl.
“Fine. Take a look inside of this cauldron, what do you see?”
He was shocked that the cauldron had caked spots of some sort of crud. He looked at Tara with astonishment.
“Well, Snape, what was the last item prepared in this cauldron?”
“It was a restorative for shingles.”
“And the ingredients are?
Tubeworms, Angelica root, Pufferfish spleen; and, oh no, Dragon Blood.”
“Does the ‘usual’ spell work on, ‘oh no,’ Dragon Blood?”
He looked at the ground and kicked at an imaginary piece of dirt. “No ma’am.”
“And, what if the next thing we brewed in this cauldron were the Wound Cleansing potion, which--what a coincidence--we actually were planning to do this morning. What would happen?”
His dark eyes revealed shock and hurt. “The whole place… would blow sky high. ”
”
“But what Mr. Severus Snape? The whole place go boom! Is that simple enough for you to understand? How about you kill us all.” Her grey-green eyes looked at him as if she was going to peer right down into his soul. “I know that you got decent N.E.W.T.s in potions so you are not an idiot…” She tapped her foot impatiently and looked up to the ceiling.
“You know, Master Bernardus doesn’t normally take on two apprentices at once, but I’ll be done soon, just two months. And considering that I do only have a few weeks to go, I’d like to live long enough to get out of here and begin my own career.
“Frankly, the Master only took you on as a favor to your father, as a professional courtesy to another Potions Master. They’re both concerned about this Death Eaters group you’ve joined. But instead of keeping you out of trouble by working here, you’re only sinking deeper in.”
“So what? It’s none of your business, or his for that matter, what I do in my own time,” the younger Snape sneered.
“So what’s so interesting that they do? Circle jerks?” Tara smirked.
“What?”
Tara put her fingers and thumb together and made a male masturbatory motion. “You know, wank each other.”
Young Snape was furious. “Just leave me alone and I’ll finish these cauldrons.”
“Oh, aye, you’ll finish them. By hand, just like the Muggles do.” She walked out the door.
Snape said, “Mudblood bitch,” under his breath.
Tara turned around, “I heard that. And you better hope that Master Bernardus never does, because you will be out on your lily-white pure blood arse so damn fast your head will spin. And the joke is, I don’t mind being called a ‘Mudblood’ – I’m proud of what I am. Yes, me da’s a Squib and me mum’s a Muggle. But Madame Olympe Maxime showed up for me in person on my 10th birthday: mind you, they wanted me a whole year younger than anyone else! And I had a full scholarship to Beauxbatons. So don’t you ever, ever try to shame me, because it won’t work. Go ahead, say it: slut, cunt, pussy, bitch, whore, slit. Don’t bother me none at all. I’ve heard worse and used worse than you’ll ever know. I can dish it and I can take it. And that’s better than your pure bloods who are so damned weak they got to sit down to piss and go formin’ secret societies to protect themselves.” And with that, head held high, Tara sashayed out of the lab.
The memory ended and Snape sat shaken and pale, trying to catch his breath. Tara, oh Gods. He had been such a fool. Fighting her, hating her during those early weeks. It was so obvious to his older self how hard she’d been trying to beat some sense into his head, when all he ever did was go to night-long Death Eater meetings and make careless mistakes during the day.
Also, he’d forgotten how petite she was. She was as tiny as a wren, hardly coming up to his chest in height. Her eyes and hair were the same color as Laura’s, but Laura was much taller and had a larger frame and fuller figure. It was strange how he’d forgotten those details.
Tara, I’m so sorry, thought Snape, I’m so very sorry. He poured himself a brandy with trembling hands and sat by the fire. He felt as cold as the grave and he wondered if he’d ever see her again.
A/N: This is a really short chapter. I probably shouldn’t be posting it, however; I did get it written and I wanted to put it up.
I had a great time yesterday. DH and I saw Pirates of the Caribbean – Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush. They were wonderful.
Many thanks to my reviewers: Aejay, Kronae, Lady Aidil, Ezmerelda, Katharina (actually you are supposed to find it funny), Damiana and TeaRoses. Big hugs to you all!!!
It all belongs to Rowling, except what you don’t recognize.
“Dearest Severus,
I’m sorry for rushing off the other day. And I’m very sorry about not being able to give you the details of my life. I’m also sorry if I ever hurt you, it was never my intention.
I love you. Sometimes I don’t think love is enough, but it’s all that I have to give you. Please forgive me if it isn’t adequate to our needs.
Our time together was wonderful. I savor each moment. I wish I were better able to express myself. I hope that we will be together this Saturday. If, for any reason, I can’t make it, please know that it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be there.
Love,
Laura”
Hermione sighed. It was sophomoric at best. She just couldn’t come up with the right words to express her feelings of joy and love. Her fear seemed to taint everything. And why that last line? Of course she’d be there. Wouldn’t she? Yes, she was scared, mostly because their relationship was so damned intense. She commanded the auto-rite quill to remove the last line. She folded the love letter and headed to the owlery. She planned to find an owl that was just visiting and be able to convince him to do this favor for her. She had plenty of owl snacks in her pocket if persuasion were needed.
&&&
Hermione’s owl arrived at Sunday breakfast and Severus tucked the parchment away in a pocket before his fellow professors could get too nosy. He was still having a hard time coming to terms with Dumbledore’s little jibe. Dumbledore always seemed to believe that his pranks were a great way to get Severus to ‘loosen up’ a bit. The last thing Severus ever wanted was to be loosened up.
Finally in the privacy of his own chambers, Severus unwrapped the parchment and read it. One of the first things he noted about the parchment was that an auto-rite quill had concealed the penmanship. Why should Laura do that? It didn’t make sense. Also, she seemed to have a guilty conscious, so many apologies and for what? They had agreed upon these conditions of secrecy. Still, she had intuited that he’d been hurt by her abrupt departure and was kind enough to apologize. He treasured that.
He found himself that Sunday spending an inordinate amount of time in thought about her, wondering what her background was and trying to imagine any scenario that would fit the puzzle pieces that were mounting.
Snape also had something else on his mind. Since making love with Laura yesterday, he had a newfound desire to confront his memories of Tara. He couldn’t let them stay there in the pensieve: he didn’t want others viewing them after his death. But he was also unwilling to destroy them. His evolving love for Laura had created a need to confront his past.
He stared at the pensieve that had been sitting on his desk and finally dipped his wand into it, withdrawing a long silvery filament:
Snape was seventeen again and had only been an apprentice to Potions Master Bernardus for a week or so. He recognized the old Hogsmeade lab and then:
“Oh stop sneering, didn’t your mum ever warn you that your face could stick that way?”
Snape turned to see Tara, the senior apprentice, look at him with disgust. “All right now. I asked you to scrub those cauldrons and you did a piss poor job of it. What spell did you use?”
“The usual one,” young Snape said with a barely contained snarl.
“Fine. Take a look inside of this cauldron, what do you see?”
He was shocked that the cauldron had caked spots of some sort of crud. He looked at Tara with astonishment.
“Well, Snape, what was the last item prepared in this cauldron?”
“It was a restorative for shingles.”
“And the ingredients are?
Tubeworms, Angelica root, Pufferfish spleen; and, oh no, Dragon Blood.”
“Does the ‘usual’ spell work on, ‘oh no,’ Dragon Blood?”
He looked at the ground and kicked at an imaginary piece of dirt. “No ma’am.”
“And, what if the next thing we brewed in this cauldron were the Wound Cleansing potion, which--what a coincidence--we actually were planning to do this morning. What would happen?”
His dark eyes revealed shock and hurt. “The whole place… would blow sky high. ”
”
“But what Mr. Severus Snape? The whole place go boom! Is that simple enough for you to understand? How about you kill us all.” Her grey-green eyes looked at him as if she was going to peer right down into his soul. “I know that you got decent N.E.W.T.s in potions so you are not an idiot…” She tapped her foot impatiently and looked up to the ceiling.
“You know, Master Bernardus doesn’t normally take on two apprentices at once, but I’ll be done soon, just two months. And considering that I do only have a few weeks to go, I’d like to live long enough to get out of here and begin my own career.
“Frankly, the Master only took you on as a favor to your father, as a professional courtesy to another Potions Master. They’re both concerned about this Death Eaters group you’ve joined. But instead of keeping you out of trouble by working here, you’re only sinking deeper in.”
“So what? It’s none of your business, or his for that matter, what I do in my own time,” the younger Snape sneered.
“So what’s so interesting that they do? Circle jerks?” Tara smirked.
“What?”
Tara put her fingers and thumb together and made a male masturbatory motion. “You know, wank each other.”
Young Snape was furious. “Just leave me alone and I’ll finish these cauldrons.”
“Oh, aye, you’ll finish them. By hand, just like the Muggles do.” She walked out the door.
Snape said, “Mudblood bitch,” under his breath.
Tara turned around, “I heard that. And you better hope that Master Bernardus never does, because you will be out on your lily-white pure blood arse so damn fast your head will spin. And the joke is, I don’t mind being called a ‘Mudblood’ – I’m proud of what I am. Yes, me da’s a Squib and me mum’s a Muggle. But Madame Olympe Maxime showed up for me in person on my 10th birthday: mind you, they wanted me a whole year younger than anyone else! And I had a full scholarship to Beauxbatons. So don’t you ever, ever try to shame me, because it won’t work. Go ahead, say it: slut, cunt, pussy, bitch, whore, slit. Don’t bother me none at all. I’ve heard worse and used worse than you’ll ever know. I can dish it and I can take it. And that’s better than your pure bloods who are so damned weak they got to sit down to piss and go formin’ secret societies to protect themselves.” And with that, head held high, Tara sashayed out of the lab.
The memory ended and Snape sat shaken and pale, trying to catch his breath. Tara, oh Gods. He had been such a fool. Fighting her, hating her during those early weeks. It was so obvious to his older self how hard she’d been trying to beat some sense into his head, when all he ever did was go to night-long Death Eater meetings and make careless mistakes during the day.
Also, he’d forgotten how petite she was. She was as tiny as a wren, hardly coming up to his chest in height. Her eyes and hair were the same color as Laura’s, but Laura was much taller and had a larger frame and fuller figure. It was strange how he’d forgotten those details.
Tara, I’m so sorry, thought Snape, I’m so very sorry. He poured himself a brandy with trembling hands and sat by the fire. He felt as cold as the grave and he wondered if he’d ever see her again.
A/N: This is a really short chapter. I probably shouldn’t be posting it, however; I did get it written and I wanted to put it up.
I had a great time yesterday. DH and I saw Pirates of the Caribbean – Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush. They were wonderful.
Many thanks to my reviewers: Aejay, Kronae, Lady Aidil, Ezmerelda, Katharina (actually you are supposed to find it funny), Damiana and TeaRoses. Big hugs to you all!!!