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Memories of Deception	By : professorflo Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 20868 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters within. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Memories of Deception
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9.
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
- 31-31
- 32-32
- 33-33
- 34-34
- 35-35
- 36-36
- 37-37
- 38-38
- 39-39
- 40-40
- 41-41
- 42-42
- 43-43
- 44-44
- 45-45
- 46-46
- 47-47
- 48-48
- 49-49
- 50-50
- 51-51
- 52-52
- 53-53
- 54-54
- 55-55
- 56-56
- 57-57
- 58-58
- 59-59
- 60-60
- 61-61
- 62-62
- 63-63
- 64-64
- 65-65
- 66-66
- 67-67
- 68-68
- 69-69
- 70-70
- 71-71
- 72-72
- 73-73
- 74-74
- 75-75
- 76-76
- 77-77
- 78-78
- 79-79
- 80-80
- 81-81
- 82-82
- 83-83
- 84-84
- 85-85
- 86-86
- 87-87
- 88-88
- 89-89
- 90-90
- 91-91
- 92-92
- 93-93
- 94-94
- 95-95
- 96-96
- 97-97
- 98-98
- 99-99
- 100-100
- 101-101
- 102-102
- 103-103
- 104-104
- 105-105
- 106-106
- 107-107
- 108-108
- 109-109
- 110-110
- 111-111
- 112-112
- 113-113
- 114-114
- 115-115
- 116-116
- 117-117
- 118-118
- 119-119
- 120-120
- 121-121
- 122-122
- 123-123
- 124-124
- 125-125
- 126-126
- 127-127
- 128-128
- 129-129
- 130-130
- 126
- 127
- 128
Disclamer: See chapter 1
So, there were only supposed to be 2 more chapters, but this one got to about 5000 words and I still wasn't finished so I've cut it in two.
Hermione dumped the bag of shopping on the table and went to the cupboard to find a tin of food for the yowling creature that was winding itself around her legs.
"Stop that, Crookshanks, if I fall over and break my neck you'll never get fed."
His yowl seemed to show what he thought of that notion, and he went to wait patiently by his bowl. Having filled it, Hermione gave him a quick scratch on the top of his head and went back to sorting out the shopping. The two bottles of wine she set to one side and cast a quick cooling charm over, before setting out the other ingredients. It was her turn to cook tonight, so she'd slipped into the supermarket on her way home. Ginny she didn't expect back for another hour, although Ron and Luna would be arriving before too long, and she knew Harry was home as she could hear the shower going.
After her friends had graduated from Hogwarts it had become a tradition to meet twice a month for dinner, at Grimmauld Place and Luna's house alternately. Ron and Luna were going steadily, and their friends knew that Ron was thinking about asking the eccentric witch to marry him. He wasn't the only one debating marriage. Hermione had helped Harry to pick out an engagement ring for Ginny only a week previous, and he was now trying to come up with a special way to propose.
Since Hermione had moved in she'd started taking turns with Ginny at cooking when dinner was at their house. Her friends made a big effort not to make her feel like a spare wheel, but spending so much time around two happy couples in the room made her wonder about Snape. What was he doing, and was he thinking of her? It had been over two months since she'd taken the Hogwarts' Express back to London, and the new school year was starting in just over a week. She'd hoped he would come to find her over the holidays, but as September approached she had seriously started to lose heart.
She'd actually caught sight of him in Diagon Alley a week ago. He'd been trailing reporters and, Hermione remembered with a jealous pang, a fair few interested women. Apparently, despite their best efforts, word about Snape's love for Lily had spread, although never confirmed by anyone, and Snape was now seen as rather a romantic figure. Hermione had almost spat her tea out with laughter at the first healer who had said as much to her, and many of her female colleagues had been disappointed when Hermione wouldn't gossip about their relationship during the time she'd been locked up in his rooms.
Her job was almost everything she'd hoped it would be, the main downside being the amount of gossip that was traded between the various staff. Hermione had become so used to living in the bubble that was Hogwarts, that she found everyone's interest in her private life irritating. She was there to work, not to discuss who she may or may not have been seen talking to, and how attractive she found them. The one person she would have like to talk about with a girlfriend was the one she couldn't bring herself to mention. Whatever she said about him would only end up in the papers in any case, so she kept quiet and got on with her work.
Luckily she had such good friends who understood what she was going through and who always lent her and ear or a shoulder to try-not-to-cry on, although she tried her best not to drag them into her problems. They would talk of nothing else otherwise.
She'd just started to chop the vegetables when there was a knock on the front door. She let out a huff of irritation. Is he incapable of bringing his keys? Almost every time Ron turned up he'd either lost or forgotten them. She dropped what was in her hands onto the table and started towards the front door, looking up at the old clock as she went past. They're early...
She reached for the handle and tugged the door open. "Ronald Weasely, if you're going to tell me you've lost another set of keys I'll…!" She stopped as she met a wall of black.
It was him.
Looking up at him now as he stood on her doorstep she could understand the sudden interest in him. He looked different than he had before, less gaunt and far healthier. There was something about him, something different, although she couldn't quite put her finger on what. He looked… amazing. Her mouth went dry and she found herself unable to find words to say to him. Gods, he was attractive, his sensual lips curved up into a slight smile at the sight of her.
Merlin… how do I look? She tucked a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear self-consciously. She knew she was likely to look a bloody mess. Slaving away over hot cauldrons all day made her hair frizz, and when it was her turn to cook she would normally get the cooking started then jump in the shower before dinner. She wished he'd come an hour later, then she might have looked a bit more presentable.
They stared at each other for a moment in awkward silence, before he cleared his throat and said, "Do you mind if I come in."
"Oh uh, yes, of course. I mean… No, come in." She turned away before cringing in embarrassment. Smooth, Hermione…
She heard him shut the front door, and she led him down the hall into the library, her mind working like crazy. She'd been praying for him to turn up, and now he was hear she wasn't sure she wanted to know why he'd come. She was too worried he'd come to reject her.
Hermione took a deep breath and turned to him. "I'm glad to see you looking so well. Minerva tells me you're fully healed and there should be no lasting effects. Congratulations on your re-appointment as headmaster, by the way. I knew that as soon as people knew the whole story they would think differently… I…uh… She trailed off as he smirked down at her. "What…?"
"Clearly some things never change." He sounded amused, and she coloured as she realised she had been babbling. Feeling stupid and off balance, she immediately went on the defensive.
"Why are you here, Severus?
He frowned slightly at her petulant tone. "I… I read your letter. I thank you for your consideration of my… position. You said you wanted to talk to me, whatever I decided."
"Yes, I did," she replied, somewhat stiffly, turning away. Oh gods, here it comes. He's going to turn me down.
"I'm sorry, perhaps I misunderstood your letter…" His voice was suddenly guarded. "I thought you had expressed a desire to… explore a possible relationship with me."
She turned back to him, but still couldn't look into his eyes. She felt sick and shaky, as if her legs were about to give way. "Yes… yes I did, but I understand if you don't want t….
"I didn't say that. That's not why I'm here."
Her mind seemed to be working at half-speed. "It's not?" She finally managed to look up at him.
"No…" He stepped towards her, the slight smile back on his face. He lifted one hand to cup her cheek. "I realised I'd be the biggest fool in existence to let you go. I can safely say I've never met anyone quite like you, Hermione."
For a moment she didn't realise what he meant, and when it finally hit her she staggered backwards until her thighs hit the arm of one of the two sofas. She leant against it, grateful for the support. He wants me… he came for me! She was about to rush into his arms when another thought hit her.
"What about Lily…?" She bit her tongue as soon as she'd spoken. Idiot, no subtlety at all…
His face lost some of its expression and he froze. "What about her?"
Damn, he was going to make this difficult. "You know… I, uh… Well I guess, I need to know how you feel about her. I don't exactly have a lot of experience with relationships, but I think I can safely assume I'm never going to be happy coming second to a ghost." Like a bull in a china shop…
He seemed surprised by her words, as if he'd never considered it before. "Do you really think I could have come here with the intention of telling you I wanted a relationship if I wasn't able to move on?"
Hermione thought back to the article she'd seen in the prophet. "I'm not the only one that seems to think you're still hung up on her. I've saw all those women trailing around after you when that article came out. She'd apparently the only woman you'll ever love, although I see there are plenty hoping to be the one to mend your broken heart."
Snape looked as though he'd swallowed something nasty.
"That rag," he sneered. "I'd love to know who spoke to the press. Although, to be honest, I'm surprised you managed to keep it hidden for so long. I've been looking back over the papers after the battle and I've seen how much scrutiny you were all under."
"No more than you are now," she shrugged. Snape had been in the press almost every day since his 'miracle' reappearance, whether it was speculation over his whereabouts for the past two years, or some nutcase claiming to have his lovechild. The article about Lily had put paid to the latter at least.
"In any case, they got it wrong," he said with finality.
"Oh? In what way?"
"It's not Lily I'm pining for, not since I ended up bringing home a scraggly little waif that refused to leave, even after I treated her terribly."
He stepped closer, the corner of his mouth curling up slightly. Hermione was frozen to the spot with anticipation.
"I won't lie and tell you I'll forget Lily, but I've learned to leave her back in the past, where she should have been many years past. Truth be told, I barely thought of her after that first night."
"First night…? You mean…"
"Our first night together, when you asked me to take your virginity." One hand started to trail up her arm gently, and she swallowed hard at the sensation. "At first I felt like I was betraying her, although I didn't understand why. It's not like you were the first woman I'd been with since she died, but even then I already felt more for you than I realised, and it confused me. I think if I'd had any inkling you might knock Lily off the pedestal that I created for her many years ago, I might have refused to let you stay, even if it had meant my death." He shrugged slightly. "By the time I had any clue it was far too late. Sometimes I even wished the Dark Lord would win because it would mean I wouldn't have to give you up. I just couldn't believe that you could ever feel for me what I did for you. You're a far better a person than Lily ever was, and if she didn't want anything to do with me, how could you? You're the only one who ever chose to help me without wanting something in return. The courage you showed by deciding to stay with me was astounding. I might not have shown it, but I was beyond grateful that you did. I could never have refused you anything that first evening."
His hand had now moved up to rest on her shoulder, his thumb gently stroking the skin at the side of her neck. Hermione fought to concentrate on he was saying. His touch felt wonderful, and he smelled amazing, but what he was saying was more important right now than her body's response to him. She tried to move back again but she was already pressed up against the sofa with nowhere to go.
"I'm not that special, Severus. I'm sure others wouldn't have treated you so badly if they'd known the truth. I'm sure anyone would have done what I did when faced with such a decision. Any courage I had was far less than yours, spying on and lying to that madman for so long. There are many people who showed more courage than I during that battle, friends who lost their lives because of it. Even Lily had the courage to die to protect Harry. I'm no better than she is."
"What I did and said to Lily was no worse than what I did to you during your first few years at Hogwarts. I treated you, and any who were not Slytherin, abominably. You always help those with less ability or status than you, she might have done so when she was younger, but as soon as she realised her power over others she became far more selfish, less giving unless she though it was worth her while. She wasn't a bad person, but neither is she like you. You're an incredible woman, Hermione, it was impossible not to fall for you and forget her. I tried to let you go not because I loved her, but because I thought I was doing the right thing for you. My last feelings for Lily died the moment I woke up and realised I'd fulfilled my promise to protect her son. Even if she appeared right now, I'd never give you up for her, not for anything."
Hermione was silent for a few moment, staring up into his eyes as if she could read the truth in his eyes. "You… do you really mean that?" she whispered, her heart fluttering madly in her chest.
"I do... Every word." A second hand gripped her other shoulder as he moved closer again.
She looked away, biting her lip, still unable to truly believe it. She'd really managed to convince herself this moment would never happen. Snape seemed to understand her hesitancy.
"Hermione, I don't want you to ever doubt my feelings for you. Let me show you…" He lifted his hands to her face, running his fingers softly across her skin before lifting her face with two fingers under her skin so she was forced to look into his eyes.
"Legilimens…"
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Memories of Deception