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Torn - Repost	By : Ravenkiss2000 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 12363 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
TITLE: Torn
AUTHOR: Ravenkiss
STATUS/PART: 13/?
EMAIL: Ravenkiss2000@yahoo.com
RATING: NC17
PAIRING: SS/RL, SS/RH
SPOILERS: COH, POA, GOF, OOP
WARNINGS: AU, Very Dark Fic M/M Slash, Rape, Violence, Mpreg
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, no money made.
SUMMARY: Pranks against Snape start out as an annoyance, and get worse.
BETA: The Goblet and Sylvadin

Part 13

While Severus Snape and Rubeus Hagrid were down by the lake Remus Lupin was on the verge of panic.

He had come to the Potions Master's door to escort him to breakfast, but when he knocked there was no answer. The girl in the blue dress was not present when he arrived, the Gryffindor thought he recalled seeing her talking to another young girl in the main entrance. He knocked on the wooden frame hoping to gain Severus' attention. He did not want to anger Snape by just barging in, but with each passing moment he became more and more anxious. After several increasingly louder knocks his concern got the better of him so he drew his wand and used the emergency 'skeleton key' password that Madam Pomfrey had given him.

A quick search of the rooms made it clear that Severus was not there.

Remus lingered for a moment in the bedroom; his heart pounding at the memory of what he had seen there such a very short time ago. Nothing like that could happen to the Potions Master now he told himself over and over again. Harry was securely locked away, and no Death Eater could penetrate Hogwart's formidable defenses. But deep inside his heart was the irrational fear that he would again find Severus in a bloody heap.

Still attempting to reassure himself that the vulnerable Potions Master was not in danger, Remus hurried to the Potions classroom and then Snape's office. Finding both rooms were empty he raced to the staff lounge. 'Damn it, where are all the bloody portraits today!' he thought angrily.
Discovering that no one was in the lounge, he made his way to the Great Hall where most of the staff and students were busy eating breakfast.

"I saw him from my window on the path to the lake about thirty minutes ago," McGonagall said in answer to his question about the Slytherin's whereabouts as she contentedly sipped her tea. She hid a smile at his obvious concern. It was nice that Severus had someone to look after him. If anyone needed someone to care for him, it was Snape, especially now. "He probably just wanted a little fresh air for a change. It is good for him and the baby. Severus needs to get out of that stuffy dungeon."

Remus had forced a smile and agreed that the admittedly sallow man could stand a bit of sun. But as he reached the door, the smile faded. Severus had been injured, traumatized, and his condition was still delicate. Someone should be with him in case he needed help.

All around Remus were the beginnings of a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly with just a hint of a cool breeze on the Gryffindor's skin. There was a smell of roses and other flowers in the air from the gardens. All of which was totally lost on him as an intense anger began to rise in his chest. He ran down the path until he was brought up short at sight of Severus' black clad form leaning against an oak tree.

"Severus Snape where on Earth have you been?" Remus panted as came to a halt before his quarry, red faced and fuming. "What were you thinking! I have been looking all over for you!" The brown eyes were almost glowing. "Poppy wanted to check your leg, and you have not eaten breakfast!"

"Remus?" Severus gasped in surprise and seemed to shrink slightly, unable to meet those angry eyes. He looked like a first year caught out after curfew and seemed hard pressed not to shuffle his feet and stare at the ground.

"Now Remus, 'e were just gettin' some stuff fer potions," Hagrid held out the basket of milkweed pods and jars of frog eggs for the werewolf to see. Remus blinked in surprise as he looked up at the gamekeeper. How had he missed someone that large standing there? "It's early, there stil plenty o' time fer eatin'," Hagrid spoke up in Severus' defense.

For a moment, Severus thought that the werewolf would explode. There was a flash of something behind his usually gentle brown eyes that made Snape stiffen as a tremor of fear ran up his spine.

Sensing the fear, almost smelling it, and feeling confused and embarrassed at his behavior, Remus took several deep breaths and deliberately relaxed his stiff posture. With an effort he even managed a smile. "Sorry, it is just after everything that has happened, I was worried when I could not find you. And you do need to eat. The house elves are still serving breakfast. If we hurry we can get you some kippers."

"I need to stop by the Potions classroom to leave these supplies," noted Severus in a small voice.

"Hm, Hagrid, would you mind dropping the supplies off for Severus while I get him to the Great Hall so he will have time to eat?" Remus asked as he flashed his most charming smile.

Hagrid's frown deepened and he felt the very unfamiliar feeling of anger begin to rise. He wanted to protest, to tell Lupin to back off and leave them alone, but the other man had a point. The last thing Severus needed was to walk all the way to the dungeon, then back up to the great hall on his sore leg.

And Hagrid was the one holding the supplies.

The thing that finally convinced him that it would be best to do as Lupin said was how tense Severus looked, his black eyes darting between them, as if he feared that the two men would come to blows over him. Best to defuse the situation and not place too much stress on the Potions Master.

Besides, he had already made his position known. Even if he did not get to say everything he wanted, Severus knew where he stood. And he had even issued an invitation to dinner. Perhaps he could catch Severus alone later when Lupin was in class and get an answer about Friday?

Remus could easily read Hagrid's expressive face, he could see that he would back down. The large man sighed and looked at Severus. "I'll put these on yer desk. If yeh need anythin' else, just let me know."

"Thank you Hagrid, for everything," Snape said as the Groundskeeper nodded to them both and headed off towards the castle. When he was out of earshot Severus looked at Lupin with a frown, "There was no need for you to be so abrupt."

The Gryffindor hung his head sadly. "I am sorry about that Severus. I was completely out of line before."

"Jealousy is not very becoming."

"Severus, I swear I was not jealous," Remus' brown eyes were haunted as he once again looked the Slytherin in the eye. "I was worried about you. When I came to your room and found you gone, I was afraid," he swallowed hard, "something could have happened to you."

"I am not helpless," noted the Snape with obvious irritation.

"I know that Severus. It was not a rational fear, but all I could think of was that you could be in danger. I..." he hesitated. "I was there with Albus that night when Harry attacked you." Severus gapped at him. He had not known that anyone else had been with Dumbledore when he was found.

A shiver ran down the black clad man's frame as he remembered that horrible night. He also felt sympathy for Remus. During his time as a Death Eater he had been forced many times to watch people being tortured or raped. Those days still haunted his nightmares. While he was under no illusions that what he had suffered was in any way comparable to the suffering of the actual victims, he had been profoundly affected.

And those people had been strangers to him.

"Please, forgive me for acting like such a jerk," Remus said sadly. "I just, uh here," Remus reached into his pocket and took out Severus' cane, miniaturized. "Finite Incantatum!" he commanded and the cane returned to normal size. Severus took it with a barely suppressed sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Remus," Severus blushed slightly as he put his full weight on the sturdy black cane.

"We can head back towards the castle whenever you are ready," assured Remus, feeling a bit of a blush of his own.

"Just give me a moment," Snape closed his eyes and tried to will away the pain in his leg. It was not working.

"I noticed that you forgot your pain potion along with your cane," said the Gryffindor as he brought the small vial out of his pocket. "Don't worry, I promise not to tell Poppy."

Looking slightly sheepish, Severus gratefully accepted the potion. But almost dropped it when Remus' hand brushed his in passing.

The Gryffindor obviously noticed the fear that the gentle touch caused in the other man, but had the decency not to mention it. Severus was not upset at Remus, he was angry with himself. He had to fight to hold down that sense of panic that tried to overwhelm him. He was profoundly grateful for the immediate calming effect of the pain potion.

"So," Remus began intending to change the subject as the other man relaxed, "what were you and Hagrid talking about?"

The Potions Master almost lied, he was very good at it after so many years of practice before Voldemort, and he was feeling a little uncomfortable talking about Hagrid to the werewolf. He started to say that they had spoken of nothing but the potion ingredient they had gathered but for some reason he found himself saying, "Hagrid was declaring his intentions towards me."

"Oh?" Remus looked taken aback. Severus could almost feel the tension radiating from him. "If you do not mind my asking, what are his intentions towards you?"

"He wants us to get to know each other better." His black eyes gauged the Gryffindor's reaction to this revelation.

"Get to know each other better?" A hand ran through graying brown hair, his expression something between shocked and angry. "You mean, Hagrid wants to date you?"

"So it would seem," said Severus, feeling a tiny stab of guilt as he realized just how much he enjoyed the other wizard's reaction. He actually liked the fact that Remus was jealous. That was just wrong. "Then, I suppose that I should, declare my intentions also." Lupin managed to hold his anger in check as he took a step back and bowed formally. "I would like permission to pay court to you Severus Snape."

"Court me?" repeated the Slytherin as if unsure he had heard it correctly.

"Too formal, or just too much? I hope I have not scared you Severus," said Remus with a sad look in his eyes.

"I do not scare easily," said the Slytherin stiffly. 'I used to not scare easily, now I think everything frightens me.' He thought with a touch of bitterness. "I just have not heard anyone use that term in about twenty years. And then it was only an affectation for Pure Blood snobs."

"Well, I am certainly not a Pure Blood, and no one has ever accused me of being a snob," noted Remus with a grin. "What can I say, I am old fashion. So, will you give me a chance to persuade you of my sincerity?"

"I do believe that you and Hagrid are both sincere, Remus," Severus sighed. "I honestly do not know what to do. Both of you want to get to know me, but once you do, you may not like what you find."

"We have known each other for over twenty years..." the werewolf began.

"And in that time we have hexed, insulted and even physically injured one another. Though admittedly never on such a grand scale as your friends." Severus turned slightly away; his black eyes fixed on the school. "I cost you your job."

"I was not happy when you did that, but I never really blamed you. I was careless and endangered the students," countered Remus. "Besides, I have it back now, and according to Albus, you actually praised my abilities."

"I said you were an adequate teacher," Snape noted with a slight blush.

"From you, that is high praise indeed," Lupin grinned, but it faded slightly when he saw the look of real pain in the other man's dark eyes. "What is really the matter Severus?"

"Remus, I just do not know if I am even capable of having a relationship with anyone. Despite those horrid rumors to the contrary during our sixth year, I have had few lovers."

"Severus, I will swear a wizards oath that I had nothing to do with that."

"But Black certainly made sure that anyone that had ears would hear it," he sighed disgustedly recalling Potter's words when he wore Black's body. The late Sirius Black had obviously informed his godson about the completely unfounded rumor that he was Malfoy's whore.

As if someone of Lucius Malfoy's breeding and position would ever even think of soiling his hands, or any other part of his anatomy by touching a dirt-poor half muggle boy. The idea would have been laughable if it had not been used to torment him so often by Black and Potter.

The fact that some of the Slytherin started to repeat and embellish them did not help either. He had vivid memories of Madam Pomfrey taking him aside and giving him a lecture about safe sex. At least she had believed him when he told her that it was all a lie.

"I can only say that I am truly sorry that my friends were such pricks," the ex-marauder informed him.

"In the end it does not matter. I know nothing about love. Being a spy for almost twenty years made any sort of emotional intimacy impossible for me. I have no experience in a real long-term relationship. And because of, Potter," the name was said in a whisper as Snape's eyes closed tightly, "he took something from me that I may never be able to recover. The thought of a physical relationship with anyone does not cause desire in me now, only dread." Not quite true, but he would not admit that he was feeling arousal as well as fear.

Was there something wrong with him?

"Severus, it has only been a short time since you were hurt, you need to let yourself heal. Please believe me, I do understand and I think that Hagrid does also." The werewolf wanted to hold Severus tight, to comfort him, but knew that the other man would not allow it. "I will not try to force you to give more then you are able. It is true that I would feel privileged if one day I could be your lover." He dreamed of it every night. "But if all we can ever be is friends, then I will happily be your friend."

"We discussed that before. I do not know anything about them either." The Slytherin found his eyes drifting to the grass at his feet. "There was a time when I did not think I needed friends, and then, when I did need them, I thought that I did not deserve them," admitted Severus with an oddly hollow voice.

"You need friends now Severus, and you have them," assured Remus as he very slowly and gently lay his hand on the other man's shoulder. He felt the shudder, but Snape did not pull away. "I will always be here for you Severus."

Tentatively, Remus moved his hand up to the Slytherin's pale cheek. Just a feather soft brush of his fingertips, then he let the hand drop to his side.

Severus felt his face warm again as that arousal returned. First Hagrid, now Remus! What was next? Would he become excited being near Longbottom or Flitwick? Fighting the confusing emotions he started to walk, or rather limp in the direction of Hogwarts.

The Gryffindor kept pace with his injured companion as the Slytherin slowly made his way towards the castle. His mind raced as he contemplated the revelations of the morning. 'Hagrid wants Severus.' He had not really expected that, he had always just assumed that the half-giant was straight. Even so, he told himself that Severus would not be interested.

The gamekeeper was a sweet man, but he was just so rough and unsophisticated. He could never give Severus the love and understanding that he needed. The idea of Snape and Hagrid together was completely ludicrous. It would be like pairing a purebred Arabian with an old plow horse!

He felt the wolf in him growl in fury at the thought. Severus Snape was 'his' mate! No one had the right to interfere, least of all Rubeus Hagrid.

tbc
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