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Both Sides	By : ccino49 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 10429 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
I do not own any of the characters or places from the Harry Potter books or films. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. All that is mine is Lou and the plot. I am not making any money from the writing of this story.

Both Sides.

Unbeta�d, all mistakes and lousy grammar are mine. ccino

CH 13 I want to forget

Bobby dried her with a quick wave of her gnarled little hand, and Lou padded into the bedroom, wrapped in a big towel. She went to the drawer to get some clean underwear, then looked in the wardrobe to get clean jeans and a t shirt. �Bobby, have you moved my clothes?�
�No miss, Bobby is moving nothing.�
�But my clothes have disappeared.� She moved the strange robes aside and checked the wardrobe bottom. She went over to the chest of drawers again and looked in each drawer. �Bobby they�ve gone, I haven�t got any clothes. What am I supposed to wear?� She was becoming agitated. �Bobby, where�s the clothes I just took off?�
�Bobby isn�t knowing miss, theys is gone too.� She piped up from under the bed where she was searching for Lou�s clothes.
�Lou climbed under the bedcovers, she felt very uncomfortable about all this.
When Severus appeared at the door she yelled at him to go away.
�I beg your pardon?� He asked, affronted.
�Don�t come in, I can�t find my clothes.�
�Have you checked the closet?�

�Of course I have. Me and Bobby looked everywhere, they�ve gone. I�m having to lie in bed because I haven�t got anything to put on.�
�Pull the covers up, I am coming in.�
�Ahh no.� She yelled, huddling under the sheets.
Bur Severus entered anyway. He went straight to the wardrobe and opened the door. �What are these if not clothes?�
�Eh? They�re not my clothes, you know they�re not, everything�s gone.�
�No, the rags you called clothes are gone, these are your clothes now. Madam Malkin had them delivered while you were in the bath.�
Lou looked at him in stunned silence.
�You may thank me later, meanwhile put something on top, you can finish dressing when I am done with your leg.�
Her mouth opened and closed, but she couldn�t make a single sound come out. She was outraged, she was grateful, she was livid and ashamed, Lou was �stunned. Not knowing what else to do, she held the towel tightly round herself and closed her eyes while he removed the dressing from her leg.
�It is looking very healthy, I think we can forego the dressing now, the air will do it good. He opened a jar of murlap suave and rubbed it gently into the healing scar, starting at her knee and finishing at her hip.
�I shall leave this with you.� He said, placing the jar on her bedside. �You can apply it yourself now that you no longer need a dressing. Each morning and evening, you can apply more in between times should you feel the need. I shall leave you to dress. I have the chess board set up, that is if you are up to the challenge. Oh and before I forget, you may wish to put these away yourself.�
He removed a small packet from his pocket and placed it on the bed, using his wand to enlarge it. Then he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.
Lou stared at the closed door for a while, confusion riddling her brain.
Moon jumped onto the bed excitedly and grabbed the parcel. �The master is very good to miss, he is buying you all new clothes. Open it miss, see what is inside.�
�Why did he do it Moon? I don�t understand. I can�t afford to pay him back for all those things, all I wanted to do was get a few cheap outfit�s. To make matters worse, he got me robes, they were the last thing I wanted. How can I tell him I don�t like them, he already bought me a wand, and an ice cream. Moon, what do I do?�
�You tells him thank you miss. You tells him you is grateful. He is caring much about you if he is doing this. Is not nice to throw it back in his face.�
�I wouldn�t do that Moon, it�s just �ugh, I sound like an ungrateful bitch and I don�t mean to.�
�Open the parcel, see what is in it. Maybe it is making you feeling better.�
Lou took the parcel and tore the paper apart. An array of very girlie underwear spilled out onto the bedcovers and Lou turned pink, red and crimson. She gulped, the thought that he�d bought knickers and bra�s for her was more then she could cope with. They were just so �personal, beautiful, but very personal. She rifled through them and was almost apoplectic when she discovered they were all rather risqué matching sets. More womanly than girlie. �Oh God, did he expect her to �no, he wouldn�t �would he?� Lou�s mind raced at the idea he might want to see her in these, why else would he get her such ��
Lou was left with no choice but to don the what was available. She had to admit the new under things did feel nice against her skin, they were soft, silky, not scratchy cotton or nylon like she usually wore. Bra�s were a first too. She�d never had the money to invest in one, so stuck to tight fitting t shirts under her baggy jumpers. Lou wondered how he knew what she would like, or even what size to get. Even Lou didn�t know what bra size she was.
Lou refused Moon�s suggestion that she look in the mirror, preferring to look down at herself instead. Lou didn�t do mirrors unless she was fully clothed.

After putting on a matching set of teal coloured bra and knickers, she turned to see Moon holding a gown of similar colour, a matching robe to go over the top.
Lou didn�t remember trying this particular outfit on in the shop, and she admitted to herself that it was pretty. Slipping the robe over her head, she then turned to look in the mirror. The light teal contrasted becomingly against her dark brown, almost black eyes, her short dark brown hair, glossy now, thanks to a healthy diet and Moon�s careful shampooing.
�I look like a bloody girl.� She said, astounded.
The elf chuckled. �You is supposed to look like a girl miss, you is one after all.�
Lou turned to her, startled. �I know what I am Moon, but I prefer to look like a boy.�
�Why miss?�
Lou averted her eyes. �It�s safer.� she moved to the bed, searching for her trainers. They too were gone. �Don�t tell me, they�ve disappeared with everything else.�
�Yes miss, you have these instead.�
Moon pulled down a small door that ran the width of the wardrobes base. Inside was an array of pumps and shoes in various colours. Most were black, but Lou could see a pair each of brown, grey and dark green. Moon was already holding a pair of teal coloured pumps to match her outfit.
�I wonder if the collar and cuffs changes to match the outfit?� She couldn�t help saying.
�That is not nice miss, the master is trying hard to be pleasing you.�
�I know Moon, but why? What does he want in return?�
�Master is wanting nothing miss, he is saying thank you for saving his life.�
�You think so? He still didn�t need to do this Moon, I don�t feel right taking things from him like this, especially after we had that �falling out.�
�Go plays your chess miss, tells the master thank you and sees how it goes.�
Lou didn�t want to go down stairs, she felt an idiot dressed in this gear. �What if someone came and saw her like this, they�d laugh their socks off.� But Lou had no choice, she couldn�t go down there starkers.
Once down stairs she poked her head into the kitchen, only to find it empty. When she got to the door of the drawing room, she took hold of the handle a took a deep breath before opening it and walking through. She knew her face was red, she could feel her cheeks burning.

Severus was sitting in an armchair, studying the chessboard. Lou tried to make her way quietly to the sofa without him noticing.
Severus saw her enter from under his lashes. �Circe, she looked like a female at last, a rather attractive one at that. The colour suits her.� He thought. He stood and gave a small bow as she approached.
Lou, in turn, halted in her tracks, wondering what on earth he was doing. �Err, is something wrong with your back?� She asked, genuinely concerned.
He frowned at her, thinking she was being facetious. I was being polite. You on the other hand are still rude, ungrateful and obnoxious. He stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.
Lou stared and let out her breath. �What had she done?� She had no idea. Maybe it was the robes, maybe he thought she looked an idiot too. Lou didn�t know what to do, she�d hoped to make friends with him again, say thank you, but somehow she�d upset him again and he�d barged out the room as if he couldn�t stand the sight of her.
She flopped onto the sofa, her eyes stinging as she struggled to hold back the tears, yet again. �Lets face it girl.� She told herself. �You just don�t fit in here. You don�t fit in anywhere.� She curled up on the sofa and cried.
When Albus and Kingsley entered the room a few minutes later, that was how they found her.
Kingsley strode over to her and knelt down, placing an arm on her shoulder. �Hey come on kid, it can�t be that bad.�
Lou jumped at the contact, she�d not heard anyone come into the room. She lifted her head and saw a face she vaguely recognised. �He �he�s in the k �kitchen.� She told him, assuming he was looking for Severus.
�Why are you crying?�
�I �I�m not I �go away, it�s best you g �go aw �away.�
�Why would that be? You�re upset, I want to know why.�
Lou ran her sleeve across her eyes, sniffing and sitting up, her eyes downcast. �Bec �cause I�m trouble, I s �say the wrong things, I do the wro �wrong things. I do ...don�t belong. I want to go h �home.�
�Louhi, it is Louhi isn�t it?�

�Lou, it�s Lou.�
�Lou, I don�t know why you think you don�t belong here, or why you feel you don�t fit in, but you�re wrong, so very wrong.�
�No I�m not. It doesn�t matter what I do or say, it�s wrong, always wrong. I make people mad, ask Sev �the Professor, he�ll tell you. He said I�m rude and ob �something. I�ve made him really mad and I don�t even know what I did.�
�Snape is rarely happy, don�t worry about it. Albus and I will talk to him, find out what�s wrong. Here.� He passed her a hanky. �Dry your eyes and blow your nose, I�ll be back in a little while.�

He left the room with the Headmaster and closed the door gently behind them.
Lou used the hanky and sat waiting, expecting the Professor to come stomping in at any moment and start accusing her of telling tales and causing trouble. �Shit, I better go in there and face the music, otherwise they�ll all come back in here shouting at me.�
When she reached the kitchen door she heard raised voices, especially the Professors. He was telling them that she�d been downright rude. �Sarcastic as hell� was how he put it. �Is there something wrong with your back? How dare she?� He roared.
�Why was he saying that? She�d only asked if he was okay.�

Lou stuck her head in the door and he whirled, turning his fierce glare on her.
�What do you want?� He demanded.
She went white, staring at him terrified. He looked wild and she was almost pissing herself. �I �I� She turned and fled.

She tried to run up the steps that led to the hall, but stood on her robes and sprawled on her face instead. Then the robes tangled round her legs as she tried to get up and next thing she knew she was lifted, her back held against a hard chest. She struggled and fought, trying to escape the arms that held her, ignoring the voice in her ear telling her to calm down.
�Louhi.� Albus said. �Louhi it is alright, calm down.� He told her as she struggled to get away from him.
�No. I have to get away, he�ll get me, you saw him, he�s mad at me. Please let me go.�
�No Louhi I will not. You are perfectly safe.�
He turned his head and gave the Potions Master a glare of his own. �Severus, I do not know what is going on between you two, nor do I care, but it stops now. The girl is terrified of you.�
�There is nothing going on Headmaster, but that girl needs to learn how to behave. I for one, am sick to death of her constant jibes and coarse language.�
�Never-the-less Severus, she is clearly frightened, she told Kingsley she does not know why you are angry at her.� Albus turned and stepped into the kitchen, taking Lou with him. He was remarkably strong for his age.
He sat Lou on a chair and placed a firm hand on her shoulder, holding her there, then discreetly placing a sticking spell on her before letting go.
As soon as Lou felt his hand leave her shoulder she tried to get up, but couldn�t. She looked up at Professor Snape, her mouth open, eyes wide, waiting for him to do something. What, she didn�t know, but he looked mad enough to hit her, that was for sure.
Severus narrowed his eyes at her. �I suppose now you will play the innocent, pretend you have done nothing wrong, while I am left looking like the evil warlord.�
Lou didn�t answer, she didn�t know how to.
�Well?�
�No.� She said, so quietly they could hardly hear her.
�No what? No you will not act innocent, or no you have not done anything wrong. What?�
�Yes. No. I don�t know. I don�t know. I�m bad, it was me. Whatever it was it was me. I�m sorry, really sorry.� Lou admitted, not knowing what it was she was admitting to. She was trembling, stuck to the chair, and feeling totally lost and afraid.
Severus raised an eyebrow, looking slightly puzzled now. �What are you up to?�

�Enough Severus, leave her be.� Kingsley told him.
The dark man sat down beside her, leaning an elbow on the table. �Lou, there seems to be some confusion here, what did you mean when you asked the Professor if his back was hurting, why did you ask him that?�
�I �because he bent funny, I thought he �he hurt himself, but then he got so mad at me. I keep making him mad, all the time, and I don�t mean to. I was gonna tell him th �thank you. I want to go, leave here. I told you already, I don�t belong here, I don�t.�
Kingsley turned to face Severus. �Did you hear that? What exactly did you do to make her think you were in pain?�
�Nothing.� He said haughtily. Then he thought back. �I may have bowed, but I most certainly did not give any indication that I was in pain.�

Lou looked from one man to the other. �Bowed. He bowed? Why the hell did he bow? All this because he bloody fucking bowed.� She thought. Enlightenment showing clearly on her face. �I didn�t know.� She told him. �I didn�t know. I�ve never been bowed at, I didn�t know.�
Severus stared at her, shocked, his mind hardly able to comprehend what she was saying. �You do not recognise a bow when you see one, is that what you are saying?�
�Yeah. No. I thought you hurt yourself, honest. I didn�t mean to get you mad at me again. I came down to say sorry and thank you.�
�Again?� Asked Albus.
�Yes Headmaster. She was extremely rude to Madam Malkin.�
�But I said I was sorry for that. I just wanted her to stop and let me go. I didn�t want her to �well I said I was sorry anyway. I�ll keep saying it if you�ll stop being mad and let me leave. You can take these cuffs off and take me back to where I belong, I wont go back to Spinners End, I can see Mr Key and get my job back. I don�t want you to owe me your life. I just want to forget any of this ever happened, I don�t want to be sent away to school, or be magic, or have power, or wear a collar, or any of it. I just want to be normal again, I want to be me and be left alone.�
Lou was still stuck to the chair and couldn�t get away, she wanted to cry, but not let them see her, but she couldn�t and the tears came no matter how hard she tried to hold them back. She was sick of crying, she hardly ever cried before she came here. People left her alone most of the time, she just got on with things.
When Severus saw her shoulders heaving, heard her sobbing as she hung her head, he looked at Kingsley and Albus, flicking his eyes to the door, indicating that they leave him alone with her.
Once they left the room, he took the seat Kingsley vacated and released her from the sticking charm. Reaching out, he pulled her to him and lifted her onto his lap like a small child. She went rigid and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. �Lou, I am sorry. I misunderstood. I did not realise how you were feeling. I will try and understand in future, but you still cannot leave. This is your home now, not the muggle world.� He told her softly. �This is where you belong, even though you do not realise it yet. You do belong here Lou. It has been hard on you and I should have made allowances, for that I am sorry. As far as school is concerned, it is much different to the schools you have attended in the past. Hogwarts is an institution of the highest standard.�

Lou, who�d started to relax, panicked when she heard the word �institution.� �No, I�ve been in institutions, I hate them, no one cares about you in those places. Your just a number, another square peg in a round hole. I don�t want to go.�
Lou it is not that kind of institution. I was speaking metaphorically.� At her confused look he explained. �Hogwarts is not an institution of the kind that you know. It is a school for the magically gifted, children like you. It will enable you to learn how to harness your powers independently of the collar, you will meet others of your own age, many hundreds of them. I shall be there of course, I am a Potions Master, so of course I teach potions. As well as learning those, you will learn Transfigurations, Charms, Arithmancy, Defence against the Dark Arts, as well as many other things.�
�Dark Arts? What�s Trasmigation? Will I still stay with you?�
�No. You will be sorted into one of four houses. Slytherin, of which I am head, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Griffindor.�
�Oh, and which one�s best?
�Slytherin of course, although each has it�s own unique qualities.�
�Well I still don�t want to go.�

�The thing is Lou, until you learn to control your magic, the collar must stay where it is, I hardly think you wish to live the rest of your life as a muggle wearing a collar. Do you?�
Lou shook her head, she wanted it off, she hated wearing it. �I don�t like the collar at all. Why did you give me magic?�
�No one gave it to you Lou, you were born with it. It is time you learned the truth. Come with me, I think it is time the Headmaster explained things to you.�

TBC

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