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Their Phoenix	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 68678 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; that belongs to J. K. Rowling. I am making no money from this fic.

Chapter List
- 1-Their Phoenix
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 28-Part 28
- 29-Part 29
- 30-Part 30
- 31-Part 31
- 32-Part 32
- 33-Part 33
- 34-Part 34
- 12
- 13
- 14
Thank you again for all the reviews!

�� The bond
sat in the forefront of Harry�s thoughts like a boulder and wouldn�t let him
ignore it. It was pick the stupid thing up or go around it.

�� And exactly how is the bond stupid? Harry
found himself thinking in Severus�s voice. You
have hardly been able to put it to any intelligence test.

�� Harry
snorted and then sighed. He wondered for a moment whether Severus and Draco
would be able to feel what he was doing, but pushed the worry away. First of
all, he knew�he had to know�that
their default state wasn�t one of constantly seeking to hurt him with his
emotions, or he wouldn�t be able to live with this at all.

�� Second,
they could feel individual emotions, but they couldn�t read his thoughts, and so
they weren�t necessarily going to know why
he was feeling bored or hungry or angry. Let them think whatever they
wanted. For the moment, Harry would make the reasonable assumption that they
weren�t about to intrude, not after the way that Severus had left yesterday.

�� So Harry
made himself face the bond, and frown at it, and think about it.

�� He was
tired of acting the way he had. He�d either been ignoring the bond entirely
since the beginning, or hauling on it like a lifeline, or feeling it draped
around his shoulders like a chain. He didn�t want to anymore.

�� He focused
on that and hammered the words into his brain: he didn�t want to anymore.

�� This bond
was something he would have to live with for the rest of his life. He could act
like a pouting, whinging child every time he got reminded of its existence, or
he could face it here and now and decide what he wanted from it.

�� I want to have a good relationship with my
bondmates. I want to trust them. I want to feel relaxed around them. I want to
feel friendship for them, and get friendship from them.

�� And not
something more? The question wasn�t quite in Draco�s voice, but Harry had the
feeling that it would have been if he�d felt like admitting Draco�s voice into
his brain at the moment.

�� Harry
clenched his hands behind his head. The memory of the immense wanting he�d felt
with the bonds open all the way chafed at him, suggesting some impossible
curling, colorful dream that broke apart into mere light when he woke up. He
didn�t know how to answer the question, because he wanted to give his bondmates
what they needed, but he was still cautious about that emotion, and how it
might take over his life.

�� His sheer
fear told him something else, and he edged up on this thought like someone
creeping past the boulder.

�� I want to live my own life, too. I don�t
want the bond to consume me. Just like I wanted Draco to have his interests in
Potions and Dark Arts, and Severus to have an interest in brewing so they
didn�t just focus on me, I don�t want to simply focus on them, either. I want
to be able to be selfish sometimes. I want to be able to not have them in my
bed if I decide I don�t want to. I want to be able to refuse some of their
demands. I want to be independent. If I wasn�t going to serve the Ministry
blindly, why in the world should I serve the bond blindly?

�� He felt a
faint guilt at the thought, but he struggled to banish it. Hadn�t he told
Huxley that he wanted his own life? Hadn�t he said that he�d made enough
sacrifices, and the wizarding world could just give him up as its hero?

�� He didn�t
have to make extraordinary sacrifices
because of the bond, either. Just the ordinary, everyday compromises that
everyone needed to make when they were living with other people. He played
chess with Ron even though he knew he would always lose. He listened to
Hermione when she lectured and tried not to show his boredom too obviously. He
wanted to keep seeing the Weasleys even though it would be awkward to be in the
same room with Ginny. He met those demands without thinking about them, without
resenting them or wanting to include them in the list of sacrifices that he
rejected, because Ron and Hermione and the Weasleys were his friends.

�� I can do the same thing with Draco and
Severus�when I need to. But I don�t need to give everything up for them any more
than they need to give up everything for me.

�� I can have that normal life that I used to
talk about. If I want it. If I�m willing to fight for it instead of lie back
and whine that it should have happened to me instead of what did happen. Some things aren�t fair, and some
things nobody has a cure for.

�� Harry
sucked in enough air that he felt as if he were about to float off the bed, and
then let it out again. When he opened his eyes, he felt good enough to smile
cautiously at the ceiling.

�� If there�s one thing I know how to do, it�s
fight.

�� He would
show Draco and Severus that they didn�t have to spend the rest of their lives
laboring to heal him or give him potions or feel their way among jagged
psychological wounds.

�� After all, they probably have other things
that they�d like to do sometimes.

*

�� Draco stuck
his head cautiously into the sitting room where Harry had been sitting with
Granger for the last half-hour. Granger had just left. Harry was leaning back
on the couch with one arm around his stomach. Draco wondered if that was a good
sign or not.

Not much pain was flowing through
the bond, and Harry hadn�t done something stupid like sit on a hard chair or
try not to hold his stomach. Therefore, Draco decided cautiously that this was
a good sign.

�Come in, Draco.�

Draco jumped, and wondered for a
moment how Harry could know it was him and not Severus when he didn�t have the
bonds open the other way. Then he remembered that there was such a thing as
recognizing someone�s footsteps or breathing, and cleared his throat to relieve
his embarrassment as he entered the sitting room.

Harry showed no sign of rising from
the couch, so Draco walked around in front of him. Harry looked at him evenly.
Draco stared back a little while and then dropped his eyes. The apologies he
had practiced in his mind would probably sound stupid when he tried to speak
them aloud, so he didn�t try.

�Severus thinks you got angry at me
because you�re still angry about things that happened at Hogwarts,� Harry said
suddenly. �Like me winning all those Quidditch matches between Gryffindor and
Slytherin. Is that true?�

�� Draco had
to stare at him then, because that was just too ridiculous. �What does he know
about it? Of course not! I was angry at you because I could see you getting
weaker and weaker while Swanfair was here, and it was hard to keep my temper
under control but I had to because
she couldn�t see us arguing, and then everything just burst out at once when
she left. It wouldn�t have if you went to bed and took the bloody potions like
you were supposed to.�

�� Ah,� Harry
said. �So that�s why you kept gaping
and sighing and making other noises while she was here.�

�� I did not!� Draco knew that his pretense of
calm and stoicism in front of Swanfair yesterday had not been one of his best
performances, but he hadn�t done so badly as all that.

�� Yes, you
did,� Harry said mercilessly. �I think you were far too obvious for someone
with all the experience that you keep telling me Swanfair has. So the next time
we see her, we should present a united front, and then maybe she won�t think
that you�re completely hopeless.�

�� Draco
spluttered, but he couldn�t think of anything else to say. Harry took advantage
of his silence to lean forwards and pin him with a stare that was absolutely not fair, because he must have picked it
up from Severus.

�� I want to
show her that we�re a force for strength,� Harry said. �All three of us, not
just me. I want you and Severus involved in this political party we�ll be
making from the beginning. That means that you shouldn�t be angry at me and
letting the anger out early. I�m going to heal as fast as I can now, and lie
down when I need to, and take potions when I need to. In return, I expect you
to stop acting stupid.�

�� Draco
stared at him with his mouth open. Harry raised one eyebrow.

�� I sent
Hermione away because I was starting to feel tired. I�m going to go rest now,
the way that you and Severus were telling me I should have all along. I want
you to help me up the stairs, or I�ll fall over before I get to my bedroom.�
And he commandingly extended one arm.

�� Draco did
it out of sheer astonishment. Harry leaned on him heavily, and panted, so Draco
had to pay close attention to his feet and his weight and not tripping as they
hop-walked up the stairs. By the time they got to Harry�s room, he felt as
exhausted as he could feel Harry did, through the bond, though some of that was
probably reflected exhaustion. Harry lay down in the middle of the bed and
yawned, then commanded Draco to fluff his pillows and help him drag the
blankets over himself. Draco did, still without the words he needed to say what
he thought of this.

�� Probably because I don�t really know what I
think of this.

�� He stepped
back and blinked at Harry. Harry gave him a sweet smile and closed his eyes,
sighing a little.

��

�� Could you
tell Severus that I need the pain potion that�s green and smells like mint?� he
murmured. Draco opened his mouth to say that Harry probably only wanted that
one because it tasted the best, but Harry went on, �He said that it was best
for the dull, throbbing, aching pains like the ones I have now, and they�re low
in my stomach, which the potion is also good for.�

�� Amazing. He did listen. Draco told
himself not to be petty when he had the thought, but he did wonder when Harry�s
listening had started. Severus had given that potion, the Emerald Healer, to
Harry yesterday, and he would have given his standard speech about the potion�s
purpose and dangers, so Harry could have heard then.

�� There,�
Harry said, when Draco started moving towards the door. �I forgive you now,
because you do want to help me.� The
bond shook and shivered with a silvery sheen like light on aspen leaves. Draco
knew Harry would be smiling if he looked over his shoulder, but he didn�t see
the need to do that right now. �As long as you think about our bargain that you
don�t act stupid in front of Swanfair again.�

�� As much as
Draco wanted to say something, it was difficult to disagree. He had acted stupid in front of
Swanfair�Severus had taken him to task about that after the enchantment from
the bond being open began to wear off�and he had done something to Harry that
he was sorry for. Helping Harry, which he wanted to do anyway and which showed
that Harry had acquired something resembling common sense, was much better than
stammering out one of the awkward apologies that he had practiced.

�� He shut the
door quietly behind him, and the light shimmering through the bond turned to the
soft pink color of approval. Draco went down the stairs carefully, due to all
the new thoughts whirling through his head.

*

�� Granger had
obviously given Harry some good ideas. He came down to discuss them with
Severus after he�d spent some time resting in bed from a dose of the Emerald
Healer. Severus had a notion that he would when the bond�s firefly dreams
coalesced into glittering balls of light and started to circle each other, and
began to brew a pot of tea. By the time Harry felt his way cautiously down the
stairs, the tea was ready and Draco had made himself scarce, on Severus�s
orders. Harry and Draco had had their confrontation alone that morning. Severus
thought it was rather important to see how Harry handled him when they were alone.

�� Harry
paused in the entrance to the kitchen, his head lifted like a deer scenting
danger. �Where�s Draco?� he asked.

�� Learning
how to make a potion he almost destroyed the lab with last week,� Severus said,
which happened to be the truth. He pulled out a chair for Harry, and waited to
see what would happen next.

�� Harry
looked thoughtfully back and forth between the chair and Severus. Then he
nodded and sat down, pulling himself in closer to the table. He didn�t even
sniff the tea for a medicinal potion before he drank it.

�� Hermione
told me that Swanfair has a reputation for survival at all times, and victory
most of the time,� Harry began. �She thinks it�s worthwhile to ally with her,
as long as we watch out for mind-controlling spells and potions like milder
version of the Imperius Curse. That�s apparently what she uses to make some of
her allies do what she wants.�

�� Severus
snorted at the thought of someone trying to use such magic on a triad with a
Potions master and Legilimens in it, as well as someone with a natural
resistance to the Imperius Curse. Of course, the second part wasn�t very
widespread knowledge, so Swanfair might try anyway. �We will watch for that,�
he reassured Harry.

�� Good.� Harry
sipped at the tea again. �Swanfair told us the truth yesterday, so far as it
went. She�s pretty nakedly interested in power. So long as we let her have a
hefty part in the politics and keep her from using Dark Arts on other people or
us, then Hermione thinks we can trust her. The way you would trust a dangerous
dog on a chain, to quote Hermione.�

�� Yes, I am
familiar with the type.� Severus raised an eyebrow. �Did she have time to
suggest any particular strategies?�

�� Yeah.�
Harry smiled grimly. �Quite the battle�s been going on the last few days, I
reckon, with a lot of the people in Hogsmeade suddenly discovering their
courage. They�re deluging the Minister with requests that Huxley be arrested.
And once Skeeter reported my speech�she was probably nearby in the form of a
beetle when I made it�then other people started becoming sympathetic to us,
too. Most of them really didn�t know
that she�d tried to murder me.�

�� Or so it
seems,� Severus had to point out.

�� Harry�s
shrug said that he was uninterested in the distinction. �So Hermione suggested
that I make an official announcement thanking everyone for their support and
also calling for Huxley�s arrest.�

�� Severus
went still. He could see the reason behind Granger�s thinking. Harry would give
the public what they wanted and intensify his image as someone unjustly
persecuted who nevertheless asked only for the legal remedy that he deserved.

�� On the other
hand, nothing was likelier to make an enemy of Shacklebolt, who seemed so
reluctant to arrest Huxley.

�� Do you
believe that Shacklebolt will accept this?� he asked. �The spell I put on him
to give us some peace will not stand up to a determined assault on it, and
forcing him to take notice of a demand for Huxley�s arrest is such an assault.�

�� I don�t care,�
Harry said abruptly, and the bond flexed in a jagged way that told Severus this
was something he had argued with himself over more than once. �I don�t care as
much as I did about not hurting him or making him an enemy. He decided I was an enemy even though I�d done
nothing, just because he doesn�t like you. I think it would be best if I show
him that I�m not afraid of him.�

�� Severus
touched the tips of his fingers together and thought about that. It was the
straightforward tactic that a Gryffindor would favor. It was political, the
kind of measure that Swanfair would advise them to take. And if Granger was
right about the public�s temper concerning Harry at the moment, then it was
probably the best thing they could do to take advantage of that temper.

�� Severus
still wanted an extra assurance.

�� There is a
potion I can brew that will give the Minister something else to think about,�
he said. �It involves no illegal ingredients or Dark Arts in the brewing. Will
you permit me to prepare it?�

�� Harry
lifted his head in surprise, as though someone had reached out and flicked
their knuckles against the back of his skull. Severus concealed his smirk with
an effort and watched in pleasure. Asking for permission and abiding by a
negative answer�as he was willing to do if Harry refused�ought to reassure
Harry that he still had a measure of control over the bond.

�� What does
it do?� Harry asked warily, after he had considered Severus from several angles
and seemed to see nothing false in what he was promising.

�� It gives
the drinker a large stomach ulcer,� Severus answered promptly, �one that
fluctuates. It responds to magical Healing some of the time, and at others will
not trouble the carrier at all. But it flares up irregularly and with great
pain, which means the drinker is�often distracted.�

�� Harry�s
eyes widened a little. �You really don�t like Kingsley, do you?�

�� Given that
he tried to unpick the bond and endangered us all in multiple other ways?�
Severus heard his voice grow brittle, the way it often did when he was
struggling to control his emotions. �No. I do not. And given that he permitted
a Gut Chewing Curse to be used on you, I thought an ulcer in the stomach would
be just repayment.�

�� Harry
gnawed his lip fiercely. �But if it flares up every time he pays attention to
us, then he�s sure to notice.�

�� Severus
kept his voice patient with an effort. If there was anything he still wanted to
change in Harry, it would be to give him a keenness and length of attention
that Draco had always had. �That is why it will flare up on an irregular
schedule. He may well suspect where it came from, but he could never prove it.
The ulcer looks like a naturally caused one to any spells.�

�� Harry
nodded. �All right,� he said. �I do want to punish him. I can�t help that.� He
glared at Severus a moment later, as though he assumed Severus would have a
problem with this. The bond had turned throbbing and dark like an old wound.

�� So do I,�
Severus said, and glanced towards the door of the lab. �And so does Draco. The
potion he is working on right now is similar to the one I will brew for
Shacklebolt. He will be delighted to help with it��

�� A small
explosion shook the house, and greasy-looking smoke rolled out from beneath the
door of the potions lab. Harry blinked.

�� As soon as
he manages to master this one,� Severus finished with a sigh, and then faced
Harry. �In the meantime, you make the public announcement and tell us when you
want us to appear in public beside you. Draco and I will work on the potion and
on a way to make sure that Shacklebolt, and no one else, drinks it.�

�� Harry gave
him a shark�s grin and stood up. �Good enough.� He hesitated, then added, �I
think I need more of the potion that tastes like dirty socks.�

�� It was as
close as he would come at the moment to an admission that he still felt some
pain, and Severus was wise enough not to push for more. He nodded. �The Stomach
Relaxer,� he said. �I shall fetch it.�

�� Harry
smiled at him suddenly, and the bond turned shimmering and silvery-green, the
way it had earlier when Harry and Draco had had their �talk.� �Thank you,� he
said. �I�� Then he seemed to think better of whatever he�d been about to say,
and shrugged. �Thank you.�

�� Severus
nodded again. He could feel the leap of his own impatience, wanting to push, wanting
to know what else Harry would have said if he felt absolutely free, but he also
felt a contrary desire: one to leave Harry to himself, give him his freedom to
be silent and avoid confrontations, and see what would happen.

�� This bond has proceeded by confrontations
rather than otherwise so far, like forcing a plant to bloom outside its natural
season. I will enjoy seeing what it produces when left to flower on its own.

*

�� Thank you,
Headmistress,� Harry said, with a little nod to McGonagall.

�� Hogwarts
has been your home,� McGonagall said, smiling at him with a force that crinkled
the corners of her eyes. �And it is not far from your home as it stands now.
How could I do otherwise than volunteer it?�

�� Harry
smiled at her, because by now he had plenty of experience of things that people
could do other than oblige him, and turned
to face the crowd of reporters.

�� They were
massed on the grounds of Hogwarts around the lake, buzzing with excitement.
Skeeter was there, of course, but Harry had also asked Hermione for a list of
names and addresses for as many reporters as she could find, and he�d written
thirty or so owls himself. And then the ones he hadn�t invited would have heard
from the ones who did, so by now there was a large number.

�� Harry
strode towards them, checking himself cautiously as he went for some sign of
pain in his gut. But it was a fortnight now since Huxley had cursed him, and
Severus and Draco were both right about how much better a wound like that
healed with regular rest and potions. What made him more nervous than anything
else at the moment was the fact that they were back at the house in Hogsmeade
and he was here by himself.

�� Stop it, he told himself as he came to a
stop about a hundred feet from the reporters and touched his wand to his throat
to cast the Sonorus Charm. You know by now that you would feel it if
anything happened to them. And you do need to start appearing on your own some
of the time, so that they don�t think you�re hiding behind Severus and Draco.

�� He lifted
his head and surveyed the crowd, keeping his expression aloof and his eyes
distant. The chatter gradually quieted, and then Harry had everyone staring at
him expectantly, quills poised above parchment.

�� Thank you
for coming,� he said. �I wished to make a public statement about what has
happened to me and the outrageous way in which the Ministry has ignored it.�

�� That caused an immediate scramble of the
quills. Harry heard some people trying to shout questions from the back, but the
more experienced ones in front were waiting breathlessly for more words from
his mouth. Harry serenely ignored the questions, therefore, and went on with
his announcement.

�� Two weeks
ago, I was attacked in Hogsmeade, in front of my own home, by a witch known as
Griselda Huxley,� he said. A few people gasped, and he nodded. �Yes, I thought
you would be familiar with her. I know she�s a war heroine, and that kept me
from coming forwards. I hoped there would be a way to reconcile with her, to
keep my admiration for her actions in the forefront of my mind rather than my
fury and frustration.�

�� That was a
lie, of course, since he�d had no idea who Huxley was when she first attacked
him and no reason to think that she wouldn�t be arrested right away, but the
reporters ate it up. Harry rubbed at his face with one hand and wondered when
lying had become so easy. Of course, the Auror training he�d received at
keeping his face stern during interrogations might have helped. An expression
of sternness wasn�t so far from an expression of sadness.

�� She used
the Gut Chewing Curse on me.� Harry pulled his shirt up dramatically so that he
could show the red scar curling across his skin. It had been Draco�s idea to
hold off on healing the scar for a time, so that he could make a statement like
this. From the way some reporters practically tripped over themselves dragging
out cameras, Harry thought that Draco had more than redeemed himself for
anything stupid he might have done during the interview with Swanfair. �A week
ago, she came to my home and tried to attack the wards again. She accused me of
being in conspiracy with Voldemort.�

�� Given how
half the crowd still flinched at the name, Harry knew that would make an impact.
He spent a moment studying them, the cloud of dark robes against the silver
snow, creating his own mental picture.

�� The Minister
has refused to arrest her,� Harry said. �I am here to plead that he do so. She
may be a heroine, but Huxley is dangerous. She will attack not only people the
Ministry has pardoned but also those whose only crime was using accidental
magic to save the world.�

�� He did his
very best to look pathetic and strong at the same time, which Hermione had
advised him he should do. He didn�t know if it worked, but more cameras snapped
pictures.

�� Perhaps
Huxley considers her hatred of me justified,� Harry continued softly, throwing
as much sadness into his voice as he could. �But I don�t think it is, and I
want to be able to live in peace, free of persecution. Since I�ve been stripped
of my career and my childhood and my friendship with the Minister, is that so
much to ask?� This time he tried for wistful, and again the cameras flashed.

�� He took a
few questions then, but only the ones that he could answer easily, such as why
it had taken him so long to heal of the Gut Chewing Curse and how he felt
knowing Huxley was still free. It was easy enough to pretend that he didn�t
hear the ones that only wanted to stir up political trouble, since everyone was
shouting their questions at once.

�� After five
minutes of that, Harry raised one hand and turned back in the direction of
Hogwarts. The reporters who tried to rush after him and ask something else
slammed into the invisible barrier that McGonagall had altered the wards
yesterday to raise. It wouldn�t hurt them, she�d told Harry, but it would give
them a good surprise, and reporters should have those every so often.

�� I think
that went well,� said McGonagall, who looked full of sympathetic outrage when
Harry reached her. �I assume you�re going to wish to return home, Mr. Potter?�

�� Harry
yawned and nodded. He no longer tired as easily as he did when he was taking
more than three pain potions a day, but he didn�t want to push it. For the sake
of his healing, and the image he had presented to the reporters of someone who
had mostly recovered from Huxley�s curse�

�� And for the
sake of Draco and Severus, because he knew they would worry over him.

�� A white owl
soared down from the sky and landed on his arm. Harry winced a little as the
claws dug into him, but he saw the Swanfair seal on the letter, and thought it
was better to deal with it now than later. Swanfair had agreed to the tactic of
making the public statement when Harry warned her about it; that didn�t mean
she was going to accept it in complete quiet.

�� The letter
said, I am impressed by your control of
your face and voice. I thought I was dealing with a politically na�ve teenager,
and I would imagine that Minister Shacklebolt has considered such a thing as
well. Perhaps having you as leader of our political party�in truth, and not as
a figurehead�will be a wise decision to make after all.

�� Harry
refused to give Swanfair the satisfaction of looking around, though he knew she
must have been nearby to see his expressions and then to send him the owl so
promptly. He tucked the letter in his robe and gave the hovering McGonagall a
wry smile. �Many people have opinions,� he said. He didn�t want to reveal the
alliance with Swanfair yet, since he knew McGonagall had views about people who
used Dark Arts.

�� Yes, they
do.� McGonagall nodded briskly. �And one of mine is that you should have an
escort home.� She blurred, and a moment later a tabby cat was sitting at
Harry�s feet, staring up at him with her tail twitching.

�� Harry
thought about arguing, but shook his head. McGonagall had felt tormented that
she couldn�t do more to help him during the Horcrux hunt, he knew, and then
hurt when he hadn�t returned for his NEWTS. Besides, people were less likely to
think a cat was a threat, which meant they would have the advantage of surprise
if someone attacked him on the way home.

�� As I must be prepared for.

�� The tabby
meowed at him, and Harry realized she had already started trotting in the
direction of Hogsmeade. He followed, glad when they reached the front door
without incident.

*

�� Bloody
potion!� Draco leaped back from the vial as it foamed over again, bright silver
curls of liquid splattering on Severus�s table and dissolving part of the wood.
Draco aimed his wand to try to clean it up, and then the vial exploded,
scattering glass and potion in every direction. At least his raised wand meant
that he could lift a shield without much trouble. He was steadily cursing as he
did it.

�� Such language,
Draco.�

��

Draco whipped around to see Severus
standing in the doorway of the potions lab behind him. His anger was still
sharp and fresh enough that he snapped back instead of cowering before
Severus�s sarcasm the way he would ordinarily have when he messed up a potion
this badly. �I�ve tried, and tried, and tried!
The last two times, it�s been perfect but it foams over when I transfer it from
the cauldron to the vial! And I don�t know why, and I�ve looked through the
books, and��

Severus at once shut the door behind
him, strode across the room, and picked up the book with the original potions
recipe, which Draco hadn�t looked at since he started to brew. Draco glared at
his back. �I know every single line in there,� he called. �I�ve memorized the
damn thing.�

�Including,� Severus asked, not
looking up from the book, �that the potion will foam over when placed in
contact with glass?�

�� Draco tried
not to scream. It wasn�t the potion�s fault after all, it was his, and it was a
simple, silly, childish mistake that anyone could have made. But he wasn�t just
anyone, and he had been studying potions too long to let something like this
happen to him. He collapsed onto a chair Severus had standing ready for when
potions took hours to brew and had to be watched carefully, his head in his
hands.

�� Draco.�
Severus�s voice was gentle this time, though Draco knew many people who did not
know him would still have called it harsh. It had to do with a rounding of the
words, a lowering of the tone, rather than any single inflection. Severus�s
hand slid around the back of his neck, fingers feathering wide as he caressed
Draco�s shoulders. �What frustrates you so much about this? You have completed
more difficult potions, and struggled with them before you completed them.�

�� I
shouldn�t be having this much trouble,� Draco whispered, and rubbed his face
with his hands. �Ten days on the same potion. It�s madness.�

�� It is
not,� Severus said calmly. �It is merely that you have let your desire to
finish run ahead of your desire to do well.
Or you have come to think that the brilliance of your work depends on speed and
no other consideration. Which is it?�

�� Draco held
his breath so that he could force himself to concentrate on something other
than his intense frustration. It was a tactic Severus had taught him as they
sat in prison awaiting their trials as Death Eaters. It worked this time, too,
and he began to consider the difficult question, which also wasn�t
unprecedented; Severus had used logical puzzles to keep him distracted from
consideration of their fate.

�� I�ve
equated brilliance with speed,� he said at last.

�� Severus�s
hand did not move away from his soft stroking of Draco�s neck, though his voice
became harder. �And why?�

�� Because��
Draco swallowed, but the object of his resentment was out of the house, making
a speech in front of reporters, so Draco thought he could safely confess.
�Because I wanted to impress Harry.�

�� Tell me
why.� Severus�s voice was sharper still. His fingernails dug into Draco�s skin.

�� Because
there are so many things he�s better at than me.� Draco didn�t care if he
sounded like he was whinging; it was worth it to purge these silent, festering
wounds at last. �And I don�t think he�s completely forgiven me for arguing with
him. I wanted�I wanted him to look at me with admiration again, the way he did
when I told him that I was going to combine Potions and Dark Arts. I want
that.� His voice dropped, and he couldn�t look Severus in the eye on the last
words. �I want him.�

�� So do I,�
Severus said. �But we shall simply have to wait, that is all. And if he never
comes to us��

�� He has to!� Draco flung his head back and
stared at Severus, not comprehending how he could be this quiet about it.
�Didn�t you feel what it was like when the bonds were fully open? Do you really
want to never feel that again?�

�� Severus
raised both his eyebrows, a sharp remonstrance with him. �That does not require
him to fall in love with us,� he said. �There is no sexual compulsion to the
bond.�

�� But I want
him to.� Draco looked away and knew he was pouting, but he couldn�t help it,
could he? Harry and Severus had been quietly friendly for the last week,
exactly as if Severus had never stolen a kiss from him. Meanwhile, Draco had
been giving Harry as many potions and speaking as many gentle words and
advising him as much about the politics, but he still got fewer smiles and
cooler nods.

�� Severus
gripped his shoulders but disdained to grip his chin, so Draco eventually had
to face him on his own. When he did, he caught his breath. Severus�s eyes were
soft.

�� You have
someone here who admires you,� Severus murmured. �Someone who knows your
ability to endure, to live through experiences that would have crushed many far
older than you.� He kissed Draco�s forehead, and his lips left a thin, searing
band above Draco�s eyebrow. �Someone who knows your capabilities and celebrates
them, as Harry does not yet have the knowledge to do.� He traced a finger down
the center of Draco�s palm, the fingernail scraping a red line that slowly
closed over again. �Someone who set you this potion in part as a problem to
figure out, so that you would acknowledge yourself again instead of
concentrating so fiercely on impressing Harry, because you also are valuable.�

�� Draco
lifted his head, feeling as if he drowned in fire, and Severus�s lips met his
in a fierce kiss, fierce enough that Draco could let everything from the past
week except those most recent words drain out of his head.

�� Do not
lose yourself in desire,� Severus whispered into his ear, �either for Harry, or
for me, or for an impossible dream. I have seen far too many who could not be
content except with the achievement of ambitions that did not depend on
themselves, but on the actions of others or the fortunes of an indifferent
world. You are what you are, Draco, and most of what you are is beautiful.
Rejoice in that.�

�� His fingers
slid down Draco�s chest and began to unbutton his robes. Draco opened his mouth
to moan, and Severus�s mouth was already there again.

�� Draco
needed to burn, and so he gave himself up to the warmth. He barely opened his
eyes as Severus pulled him up the stairs to their bedroom, but concentrated on
the taste of Severus�s tongue in his mouth and the prickle of fingers up and
down his sternum. When he lay sweating and naked on their bed, he tried his
best to absorb those fingers and that tongue through his skin.

�� Now the
tongue licked up his shoulder. Now the fingers curled around his cock and
weighed it thoughtfully before moving away, paying absolutely no attention to
Draco�s cry of protest. Draco thought about opening his eyes and demanding more
force where he most wanted it, but that would mean clearing his head of the
blinding warmth and thinking for himself, so he didn�t.

�� Now the
tongue was on his elbow, and then behind his knee, and now it curled around his
right big toe. Draco shivered in delight, never knowing where the touch would
come next, and the flames leaped and soared through him.

�� Severus�s
fingers prepared him. Severus�s fingers also touched his quivering stomach,
dipped into his navel, and ran up and down the length of his erection. Draco
didn�t know which hand was which. He only knew that he was moaning impatiently,
small puffs of hot air, and thrusting his arse backwards by the time Severus
finally consented to slide into him.

�� Finally. That was warm enough, and full
enough, and Draco could think of the thorough fuck he was receiving and nothing
else.

�� His orgasm
took the fire from him, sticky pulses that seemed to scald as they landed on
his stomach. Severus followed and then rolled to the bed beside him, as if he
knew instinctively that Draco would be too hot if he lay on top. This time, his
fingers tracing Draco�s cheekbone felt wonderfully cool.

�� Draco
opened his eyes at last, burned through, purified, and offered Severus a sleepy
smile that Severus returned with an intent gaze. Draco held his chuckle inside.
Severus was not about to let him fall asleep until he knew whether Draco had
understood that there were people who really did value him for himself.

�� Or a person. And at the moment, Draco
could not resent that there weren�t more, or that Harry might not ever be one
of them. Having one was brilliant, and more than he had thought he would
achieve at any time during the last three years.

�� Thank
you,� he whispered. �Tomorrow, I�ll finish the potion, and I�ll take as long as
I need to, and I�ll do it perfectly.�

�� Severus
bent his head and kissed Draco again, from a distance, their lips just brushing
each other�s, no tongue. Draco thought dazedly that it was like receiving a
kiss in the ashes of a wildfire, but far better-tasting than ashes.

�� That didn�t
make much sense, but Draco thought he was allowed not to make sense right now.
He dared Granger to make sense after
such a thorough fucking.

�� That
brought up images he didn�t want to contemplate. It was much easier to tuck
himself around Severus, though far enough from him that air could still slide
freely between their bodies, and close his eyes.

�� For the
first time in several years, he dreamt one of those dreams that had been so
common when he was a child: a dream of his own achievements, of the brilliant
things he would do as soon as he had a chance, and of eyes looking at him
admiringly. And none of the eyes was particularly green.

*

�� Severus?
Draco?�

�� Harry
blinked and pulled his head out of the potions lab, which looked as though a
storm had whirled through it. That worried him�when was the last time Severus
had left the lab like that without cleaning it up?�but he knew he would have
felt any danger to them through the bond. He wandered upstairs, where the marks
of some heels dragged along the carpet told him they might have gone.

�� The door of
their bedroom was firmly shut.

�� Harry
hesitated, and then told himself to respect their privacy and go to his own
room. He was tired anyway after his speech, and wanted to rest. There was no
reason to intrude on Severus and Draco, especially when they might not be�finished.

�� Harry
wished he understood what he was feeling when he thought about that, other than
interest that was incredibly inappropriate.

�� He stood
there, fidgeting from foot to foot in the corridor, and listened intently. He
couldn�t hear any sounds, no grunting or slamming, and he couldn�t see any
Silencing Charms or privacy wards on the bedroom door. They were probably
asleep.

�� In which case you should still leave them
alone and give them the chance to rest, Hermione would probably insist.

�� I�m just concerned about them, Harry
thought defensively, and then crept slowly towards their door and opened it
without a sound. Something must have
happened. I know that Severus wouldn�t leave that mess lying around without a
reason. I just want to make sure that they�re all right.

�� He couldn�t
see anything at first, since his first timid push at the door had opened it
only far enough to show a corner of the wall. Harry swallowed, hoped that
Severus and Draco hadn�t been paranoid enough to leave a creak in the hinges so
that it would warn them of coming enemies, and nudged it the rest of the way
open.

�� Draco lay
on his side, his face twisted away from Harry. His hair was tousled so it
pointed almost straight backwards, like the tail of a comet, and his legs were
sprawled wide. He was completely naked, and he looked innocent with it. Harry
caught sight of something white on his hip and jerked his eyes away guiltily.
He preferred to listen to the sound of Draco�s soft breathing instead.

�� Then he
looked up further, and realized that Severus lay next to Draco, his chest to
Draco�s chest, his arm wrapped around Draco�s shoulder, his head resting on the
pillow above Draco�s.

�� And that
his eyes were open and fixed on Harry�s like a watchful lion�s.

�� Harry
stared back, transfixed. Severus was naked as well, of course, but most of him
was hidden by Draco. Harry could make out the pallor of his skin, though, and a
stripped-down thinness, as though he had been through so many trials that all
the weakness and softness had worn away from him and left only muscle. His hair
swung around his face, long and dark and cut sharply enough to make what looked
like a ragged slash on his skin where it covered his neck. Harry didn�t know
whether anyone would ever call Severus beautiful, but he was interesting.

�� And Harry
didn�t have the right to think about things like that, since he was not Draco�s
or Severus�s lover.

�� Harry
dropped his eyes, uncomfortable now. �Sorry,� he whispered, and backed out of
the room, being careful not to look up again. He closed the door softly when he
was out, so as not to wake up Draco.

�� When he
retreated to his own bedroom, it was with thoughts and possibilities and
memories and sights whirling around his head, which did not help him to fall
asleep as quickly as he had thought he might after the speech.

*

�� Severus let
his chin rest on Draco�s shoulder and continued staring at the door where Harry
had stood for a moment. His eyes had been wide. Fascinated. Intrigued.

�� Of course,
he had reverted to Gryffindor guilt almost the moment he caught Severus�s eye
and not looked hard enough to see that there was no condemnation in the gaze
Severus returned, but welcome if he wished to take it.

�� Still.

�� Almost the moment he caught Severus�s
eye. He had stood there for a short time after that.

�� Severus
closed his eyes, nestled his nose into Draco�s hair, and smiled.

*

�� Blood Lust
777: Thanks!

�� PanickedSerenity:
Harry is close to realizing it. But at the moment, he needs to deal with his
own desire for independence.

�� Mia: Aw,
thank you so much! I have less empathy with Severus and Draco than with Harry
as characters, so that they come across to you as good people means a lot to
me.

�� Wynja:
Thanks so much! I do like a lot of forced bond stories, but I haven�t read many
that weren�t too quick on the sex for me. (Of course, sometimes they become
giant WiPs that are never completed�) I wanted to write a story of the kind I
would like to read.

�� About the
formatting: It�s necessary to keep paragraphs from squashing together, which
sometimes happens on AFF as well as other sites. I can understand why it�s a
pain, but unfortunately, the alternatives are worse.

�� Werewolf Mistress:
Thanks for reviewing!

�� dana_aereyn:
Thank you!
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