Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Scars	By : KJmom827 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Lucius Views: 20250 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Scars
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 12
- 13
- 14
A/N: Ok, you need to know something before you read this chapter. In my head - for the purpose of this story - Snape never loved Lily as anything more than a friend. So, on to the story...

"Mr. Malfoy." She nods her head politely, but I can read the distrust in her eyes.

"Mrs. Weasley." I say it just as nicely and allow a little warmth to seep into my voice, "Please come in. I believe Harry is waiting for you in his rooms. I'll show you the way."

I turn, expecting her to follow, instead she places a hand on my arm to stall me.

"Mr. Malfoy, I intend to take Harry with me when I leave here today."

I'm not sure how she expects me to respond to that, nor am I sure how I feel about it. I can't imagine that she will be successful in convincing Harry to leave, but the idea that she thinks she can raises my hackles. I firmly quash my anger and affect a cool and indifferent attitude before facing her.

"Please, call me Lucius. Mrs. Weasley, if Harry feels that it is in his best interests to leave his home, then I wouldn't dream of standing in his way."

"This isn't his home, Lucius. This place has been nothing but a prison for him. Do not think, for even an instant, that I will support or encourage a reconciliation with Draco."

"It seems, Mrs. Weasley, that we are of the same mindset on at least one point. A relationship between Harry and Draco would not be advisable at this point in time. However, I believe that, upon speaking with Harry, you will discover that he does think of the Manor as home. I am not forcing him to remain here. The time when he would have referred to this place as a 'prison' has passed. Now, if you would kindly follow me, I will take you to Harry."

I turn swiftly and practically stalk toward Harry's rooms. I leave no chance for her to waylay me. I do not wish to engage in further argument with her. It would be pointless. She sees me as the enemy and I don't think that even Harry will be able to change her mind.

Before I can knock, his door swings open and he greets me with a smile, "Lucius, I was just thinking that we should… Hermione!"

He lifts her into a huge hug that has them both giggling with glee at the way he spins her in dramatic circles. I find myself just a little jealous at the zealous way he clings to her. I clear my throat to get their attention. He sits her down quickly and turns to me.

"Should you require me, I will be visiting with Severus for the afternoon." He grabs my hand before I can make a hasty exit.

"Thanks, Lucius." He gives my fingers three quick squeezes and drops my arm. I realize we've been staring into each other's eyes far too long and pull myself away. I catch an odd look on the girl's face as I sweep out of the entryway and quickly make my way to my study and waiting escape route.

X.X

I realize how much I've missed Severus when his silky voice rolls over me as I step out of the green flames.

"Ah, Lucius, good afternoon."

"Hello, Severus." He's sitting in his favorite chair with a cup of tea and a potions journal. He doesn't stand to greet me, but I didn't expect it of him. I take the seat next to him and stare pointedly at the cup in his hand.

"I assume you'd like something to drink? Tea then? Or perhaps something a little stronger?" He quirks his eyebrow slightly, and the action makes him look a few years younger.

"I think I'd like something stronger, but I believe the tea will suffice for the time being." I'd rather not dull my senses around this man, at least not for the conversation that I'm sure is to come.

A wave of his wand produces another tea cup, filled to the brim. I've no doubt that it will be prepared exactly as I like. I'm not disappointed as the hot liquid burns sweetly down my throat.

"So, am I correct in assuming that your home has been invaded by the shrill screams of an overly excited reunion?" He sets the book aside and turns to face me. The man has many faults, but one can never say they feel ignored in his company.

"Indeed it has."

"The Granger girl is it?"

"Yes, but it's Weasley now."

"Ah yes, married one of Arthur and Molly's. I daresay I forgot."

"Yes, the twin, I believe." The twin, strange how that word feels odd slipping out without being pluralized. How strange it must be for those closest to him. How painful it must be for the boy himself.

"Yes, yes. Strange that, I'd always assumed she had her eye on the youngest boy. Oh well, destined to be a Weasley, that one." I nod, as if I had opportunity to know firsthand or would have paid any attention if I had.

We lapse into a silence that seems to seep into and out of every corner of the room. There are questions I should ask, but I can't find the compulsion to do so.

"Draco is doing well, Lucius." He knows me so well. I feel a pang that closely resembles regret. How many times, over the years, have I wondered what might have been? How happy might we have been together if not for the demands of my pure blood family? That is not to say I did not love my wife. I loved her very much, but it was never wild or uncontrollable. It was never what I had with Severus.

"So he says. Are you sure, Severus?" I trust his opinion above all others, sometimes even above my own.

"Quite. I'm more concerned with your state of mind." I see that look in his eyes. It's the same one that haunted me each time I suggested he find someone with whom to spend his life. It's a look that says 'there's no one in this world more important to me than you are.' It's a look that has never failed to take my breath, and this time is no exception.

"I'm… maybe not perfect, but surviving. That's what it's all about, right? Survival?"

"Those years are long past, Lucius. Now is the time for thriving." He's one to discuss thriving. The man who's locked himself away in a dreary house with not even an elf for company.

"And that's what you're doing, Severus? Thriving?"

"Perhaps not, but I'm also not pining for my child's lover." Too close, too deep, too true.

"That you are not. You've just spent the entirety of your life lamenting the loss of your first love." The sharp inhalation makes me aware of the fact that I've broken a silent agreement, one that was formed shortly after the Daily Prophet announced my engagement to the beautiful Narcissa Black.

We'd both known it was coming. She'd been my betrothed since before her birth. I'd never hidden that fact from him. It was the print, the black and white proof, that sent him into a mad rage. I'll never forget the staggering amount of blood, tears, and semen we shed and shared that night. I've never been able to clear my mind of the sheer need that shone in his eyes as he took me, hard and unforgiving, for the last time. I've never been able to rid myself of the distraught, damning feeling that weighed heavily in the pit of my stomach as I walked away in the wee hours of the morning - broken heart aching painfully in my chest, but resolved to do my duty as Malfoy heir.

"Severus…" I can read every memory as plainly on his face as I see it playing out in excruciating detail in my mind.

"No, Lucius. You are correct. I fear that I haven't been fair to myself over the years. Not that there was much time for romance." He heaves the long-suffering sigh of a man who has submitted to the demands of those around him far too often, but always with the best of intentions.

"I shouldn't have…"

"No, you should have, maybe long before now. You know, I'm hesitant to admit that I found myself hoping again. Narcissa was beautiful, elegant, and caring. She was everything I'm not, and she was perfect for you. When she died, I did mourn. I mourned for the loss of a friend, the loss of a mother, and your grief over your wife's death, but I hoped." He stands and makes his way to the hearth, bracing himself on the high mantle and idly tracing his finger through the dust gathered there.

"Severus…" It seems I'm to spend the rest of this conversation trailing off and not completing sentences that are half formed thoughts anyway.

"I tried to give you the time you needed. I thought that you'd come to me. I was sure that, when you'd recovered, I'd find you on my doorstep or flooing into my sitting room. By the time I realized you'd come to terms with your loss, I'd already lost you. I've tried to hate him, I've tried to hate you, and I've tried to hate myself. Do you know what I've discovered?" It is a rhetorical question, so I do not waste my breath saying things that matter so very little.

"I don't have much desire to hate anything or anyone anymore. I might have been young and reckless enough to fight for you once, but I'm just not anymore. I might have once been willing to follow you to hell and back - which I did by the way - but, I just can't do that now. I love you, Lucius. I think I always will, but I don't hope anymore. Not only can I not spare the heartbreak, but it's a lost cause. You love him, and I think that's alright."

He says it with the finality of the resolved. He still sounds so very hurt, but he's calm and determined. He pulls his shoulders out of the slump they'd acquired moments ago and turns to face me.

"You are still my best friend and I care about your well-being. As such, I also care about your relationship with Draco and your situation with Harry. Can I rightfully assume that the boy has admitted his feelings?"

I'd like to spend a little more time talking about us, but it's obvious that he's finished with that topic for now, maybe even forever. So, I do the only thing I can to salvage the precious time I have with him today. I let him change subjects and approach the discussion of Harry with only minimal trepidation.

"He has…"

"And I suppose you enlightened him as well?"

"I did."

"Very well then. Please do tell me you aren't sleeping with him yet? I don't think I need to tell you how Draco would respond to that."

"I don't think Draco will respond well to knowing that we are in love either." Truly, there is no easy way to go about this. I'm starting to wonder why I'm even trying to be honorable.

"He will not. However, if you can maintain a nonphysical relationship, at least until you talk with him, then he may be more inclined to understand that it is love and not just a desire on your part to have what's his."

"I would never…" take something from him, hurt him purposely. I would have kept everything I felt for Harry under metaphorical lock and key had he respected the boy. I wouldn't have destroyed my son's happiness even if my own was dependent on that destruction.

"I know that and you know that, Draco may need to be convinced."

"What have I done?" I'm not much for curbing my desires, but I am able to mask my emotions. Or, I was proficient at doing so, until bright green eyes pleaded with me to drop all pretense and just feel.

"You, Lucius Malfoy, have fallen in love. There is no shame in that. It would only be shameful if you didn't try to spare Draco as much as possible. So, when he comes to visit, you and I will have a talk with him before we allow him anywhere near Harry. There's no sense in delaying the inevitable or getting his hopes up for a joyful and welcome reunion. We will handle him with care, but he will not be lied to or led astray."

"What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you, Severus?" He gives me a smirk that would cause any pupil to wither, but only lights a gentle, warm feeling in my gut.

"As you haven't yet displayed any worthiness, that remains to be seen."

A/N: So, who saw that coming? I don't think we'll dwell too much on Severus and Lucius' past, that's not the story you came to read, is it? However, I couldn't help myself. Since the beginning I've imagined the two of them overcoming this tragedy of a love affair and coming out friends despite Severus' remaining feelings (and the ones Lucius has had to surpress into almost nothing). I thought about it and decided that knowing what's he's been through for an impossible love once before might help you to understand why he's both hesitant to give in and hesitant to let go.
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Scars