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In Servitude of the Dark: The Hand That Guides Me	By : xXxLuckyxXx Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Voldemort Views: 74969 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling and her publishers. I just play in her world.

Chapter List
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Chapter 13 : Wolf Astray

Two weeks before winter break, Hagrid was seen crying great drops of tears at the head table, during dinner, not even trying to hide his shoulder heaving sobs. McGonagall and Flickwick were doing their best to calm him, and had to escort him out.

"What's going on with Hagrid?" Harry asked in concern. Harry might not be taking Hagrid's class, but it didn't mean he stopped caring for the gentle giant.

Ron and Hermione both looked up with cautious hope that their rift was starting to mend. Since the argument, Harry had been diligently avoiding the other two thirds of the Golden Trio, and everyone in Gryffindor was feeling uncomfortable. But this was the first time Harry opened up to his friends.

"Oh well, you remember Malfoy's accident?" Hermione started, giving Ron a warning look as if to say, 'don't ruin this. We may not get another chance.'

"You mean when the hippogriff attacked him?" Harry asked incredulously. He couldn't imagine how that long-ago incident could possibly make Hagrid break down now.

"More like a tiny scratch," Ron couldn't help but add.

"Anyway," Hermione spoke as if Ron hadn't said anything. "Malfoy, both son and father, are suing Hagrid for damages and emotional suffering."

Harry rolled his eyes in disgust. "Oh for Merlin's sake," he said. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." He had cast the diagnostic spell on Malfoy Jr. himself, and according to his scan, the cut he got from running away from the dementors was bigger than the one he got from the hippogriff. Not to mention his scan told him it was long healed, for weeks, before the dementors even attacked. And Harry told his two friends this.

Hermione perked up. "You can be a witness for Hagrid's trial then," she said excitedly and then explained. "We're putting a case together for Hagrid."

"When's the trial, and what's at stake?" Harry asked, now more serious. It sounded like the Malfoy's really were taking this all the way to court.

"Well, if the Malfoy's win then Hagrid loses his job," Hermione answered. "And Buckbeak, the hippogriff, gets executed."

"It's scheduled for some time in April," Ron added solemnly.

Harry let out a breath. No wonder Hagrid was so torn. He absolutely loved his monstrous animals. "And what's Dumbledore doing for Hagrid?"

Ron and Hermione both shrugged. "Probably fighting to keep Hagrid from getting fired even if we lose the case," Ron guessed. "Don't know if there's anything he could do for Buckbeak though."

All thoughts of Hagrid, the trial, and the hippogriff was put off to the side when a large official looking owl flew in and landed in front of Harry's dinner.

"That's a Gringotts letter!" Hermione gasped.

Harry shot her a warning look as he extracted the letter from the owl. "Thank you for announcing that to everyone," he said dryly.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" Ron asked. "The bank doesn't send out letters to just anyone."

"Of course, I am," Harry said and pushed away from his dinner. "But I'm going to do it alone." He was willing to call a truce between them, but he still couldn't trust them yet.

The look in Ron and Hermione's eyes told him they understood. "Well, if you need anything…"

Harry nodded gratefully before heading to his one favorite spot, up to the 7th floor. Upon opening the door to the Room of Requirement, the first thing that hit him was this horrible smell, like some dead rodent that had been fermenting in fish sauce. Blinking away the tears that sprung to his eyes, he then noticed the room wasn't his comfortable lounge, but a sophisticated potion's lab. Harry was just about to cast the air freshening charm when a voice suddenly stopped him.

"Stop!" Snape ordered. "This is a very delicate and complicated potion. At this point, any foreign magic will ruin it. I will have the room clear it."

The fumes cleared, and Harry took a big gulp of clean air before stepping in and closing the door behind him. "So that's what happens when the room is already occupied," Harry said. It was something he always wondered. Would Hogwarts make up another room? Would the original occupant simply be ejected? Or would the room simply not appear.

"Indeed," Snape said, though most of his focus was still on the cauldron. Considering Harry had seen his teacher tend to three or four cauldrons at once, this must be a very complicated one indeed.

Harry crept closer, not wanting to disturb the man. But he couldn't help not making a disgusted face as he peered in. "What is this sludge?"

Snape gave ten more stirs, while sprinkling some bug creature into the brew, before putting his stirrer down. "This is the only thing keeping that werewolf from devouring us all on the full moon," he answered.

Harry pulled up all he learned when he researched werewolves. "Wolfsbane," he said confidently.

"Correct," Snape complimented, though he gave no points. Of course.

"Can I help?"

Snape gave Harry a dubious look.

"You've got to admit that I am getting a lot better at potions," Harry put in.

Snape sighed. "Perhaps next time," he said. "This one's practically done, anyway. It just needs to simmer over night."

Harry pushed down a gag, imagining anyone having to down that concoction. "Not that I mind, but why are you brewing here?" he asked, noticing his teacher had brought in his personal supplies.

"Some idiotic Hufflepuff blew up the classroom, and I gave the other labs to the OWL and NEWTs students lab time to practice for their tests," Snape answered irritably. "And I turned over my own room to a couple 6th year Slytherins and had them resupply the infirmary's potion's stores."

"And so you're here," Harry concluded with a grin. It really didn't look like Snape enjoyed being pushed out of his own workspace.

"And what are you doing here?" Snape asked.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Harry took out his letter. "I got this during dinner, but I didn't want to open it in the middle of the Great Hall."

Snape glanced at the letter curiously, noting the Gringotts' seal, but didn't say anything about it. "Would you like some privacy?"

"I don't mind you hearing this," Harry said absently as he broke the wax seal.

Dear Mr. Harry James Potter,

You have sent us an inquiry, by way of Madam Andromeda Tonks, on the where-abouts or condition of your parent's last will and testament. We are happy to tell you that we have finally located it, and in fine condition. The executioner of the will, Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore, had not opened it upon your parent's passing, so we may do so at this time. As you are the main beneficiary, it falls on you to select a date which is most convenient for the reading of the will. Please allow us at least a week's time to contact other potential beneficiaries.

Once again, you have our sincerest apologies for not having this will made available to you sooner.

Gringotts Bank of Britain,

IronHammer,

Department of Inheritances

Harry looked up after reading it out loud. "What do you think?"

"I think you should schedule it during winter break, perhaps in two weeks time," Snape suggested. "If you'd like, I can escort you to this reading."

Harry nodded. "I'd like that. And Mrs. Tonks too, since I hired her as my lawyer." And with that, the room gave him a writing desk with writing implements for Harry to compose a response to the bank. "I set it to December 28th, so I won't interrupt anyone's Christmas or New Years."

"So you are staying at Hogwarts then?" Snape asked and briefly checked on the potion.

Harry nodded. "The Dursleys and I have come to an understanding, but if given the choice, I'd rather stay here."

"Don't think I will let you go back to those…abominable excuses for human beings without first inspecting the situation myself."

Harry smiled, knowing Snape was only insisting because he was worried. It was nice to have someone worry about him, and not in an overbearing kind of way like Mrs. Weasley, either. He had nothing against the Weasley matron, but she was just too free with her hugs and over dramatic reaction to everything. Snape and Marvolo's steady calmness and practical approach was what Harry needed.

"Alright, I'll send this off with Hedwig tomorrow," he said, since the curfew bell had already tolled.

"Don't get caught, I won't cover for you," Snape warned.

"Didn't expect you to," Harry shot back, but then realized Snape had stopped listening, already preparing the station to brew another potion.

Since he was already on this side of the castle, Harry decided to send his letters off right away. So he pulled on his invisibility cloak and put silencers on his shoes to make a quick detour to the owlery. He spent a few minutes cooing at Hedwig before trekking back across the school to the Gryffindor Tower.

Just as he walked passed a closed door a very familiar voice made him turn back around. Harry glanced around, realizing he was standing in front of Professor Lupin's office.

"…Malfoy, and I bet he even wants Hagrid fired!" It was definitely Ron's voice. "I'm serious! He didn't even take Hagrid's class and he quit the Quidditch team."

Harry carefully pressed his ear against the door and was able to pick up Hermione's distressed voice too. "Really, Ron. Stop exaggerating. But we are worried about him, Professor. Isn't there anything you can do? Harry won't listen to reason," she pleaded. "And I really think he blames his father for being left with the Dursleys…"

Suddenly, Harry decided he needed to have that talk with Professor Lupin now. His face turned dark as he whipped off his cloak and threw the door open. He watched with satisfaction as Lupin looked up shocked, and Ron and Hermione both turned pale.

"So, am I invited to this little gathering?" Harry asked. Though his posture and tone seemed casual, there was a flash of anger in his green eyes. "Or do you guys like talking about me behind my back?"

"Harry!" Lupin finally found his tongue. "Don't blame your friends. It was I who asked to speak with them."

"Instead of coming to me?" Harry asked pointedly.

"We're so sorry, Harry," Hermione apologized, looking quite anxious as she wrung her fingers in her robes. "But you've been acting strangely all year and we're so worried about you and Professor Lupin already knew most of the things you told us anyway…" she babbled as quickly as she could, but Harry still managed to interrupt her.

"Oh, so it wouldn't hurt to tell him, huh?" Harry asked. "It doesn't hurt to tell him I blame my father for ending up with the Dursleys?" he repeated, and Hermione turned bright red at having her own words thrown back at her. Harry crossed his arms. "So, tell me. What else have you three talked about behind my back?"

Ron quickly pulled out something from his bag. "He was giving us pictures of your father to show you," he said, smiling hopefully. He probably thought this would derail Harry's anger.

It may have worked, except the picture on top was of the four Marauders laughing at a boy in Slytherin robes, who looked suspiciously like Snape when he was younger. "Yes, just what I wanted," Harry said snidely. "Pictures to remind me just how much of a bully my father really was. Thank you, Ron." Then he turned to Lupin. "And with these stories, did you also tell them how you and your friends almost killed a student?

"Harry, that happened a long time ago," Lupin countered, even as Hermione and Ron turned startled looks at the normally gentle man.

"Professor?" Hermione asked weakly.

Remus shot her a kind and reassuring look before turning back to Harry. "The perpetrators were punished…"

"Oh, excuse me," Harry apologized mockingly. "A month's detention for you, my father, and Pettigrew and a month's suspension for Black. What did the victim get? An oath of secrecy unwillingly placed on him and a life debt owed. Yes, that seems very fair. Very Gryffindor of you." Harry applauded. "Please, Professor Lupin, if you are going to tell tales, than tell them the whole truth."

Lupin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley, would you please excuse us? It appears Mr. Potter and I must have our long over-due discussion."

"And don't bother eavesdropping," Harry told them as they shuffled out the door. "Unlike some people who like to share other people's secrets, I will remember to put up privacy charms." At this last jab, the two flinched and fled.

"That was rather harsh," Lupin admonished, even as Harry put up his security.

Harry snorted. "I've already had a talk with them last month about betraying my trust."

"I get a sense that you don't like me, and yet I cannot recall what I have done to deserve this hostility," Lupin said, honestly confused.

Harry took a steadying breath, organizing his thoughts and examining why he seemed to harbor such angry feelings towards the man. His occlumancy, now finally complete, made it easier for him to find memories and think clearer. "Do you know what my first thought was when I learned you were best friends with my parents?"

Lupin shook his head. "I don't even know how you came to that information, and without the context, I cannot even begin to guess."

Harry nodded. That was fair enough. "My first thought was that, if my parents had such a good friend, where was he all my life? Why did I not get even one card on my birthday?"

"Albus had told us all that it was unsafe to contact you," Lupin answered. "And that you were well taken care of there. Believe me, I had really wanted to. You were the only thing left of James and Lily…"

"And that is why I dislike you so," Harry interrupted. "You don't think for yourself. You believed everything that Dumbledore told you without checking up on the facts. Do you know what my life was like at the Dursleys?"

"Your friends told me it wasn't very good, but they gave no details."

"That's because they don't know everything that went on there," Harry said with clenched teeth. "Would you like to know what happened? Or would you like to keep believing Dumbledore's half truths?"

"Please, Harry. I'd like to know," Lupin replied, his face already showing that he expected the worst. Unfortunately, his worst wasn't even close.

So Harry painted an elaborate tale of a newly orphaned boy of 15 months. Of how he was left on the doorstep one cold November night with nothing but a thin blanket and a letter explaining the horrors that the babe had suffered only hours before. He spoke of how the Dursleys found this throw away baby and instead of taking him into loving arms like compassionate human beings, they threw him in a dark cupboard until his cries finally annoyed them so much that they were forced to feed him and change his diapers.

When Lupin's face turned sick and gray, Harry relentlessly recounted one of his later memories. How his ragged shirt was torn into shreds by the sharp belt buckle that just as easily shredded the skin of his back, and of the many broken bones he received, courtesy of his cousin who aspired to become a boxer. And not once did he hear a kind word from them, and how the only thing he knew about his parents until Hogwarts was that his father was a dead beat drunk that got his wife killed in a car accident.

By now, Lupin's eyes were actually glassy with unshed tears, but Harry had no compassion for the man.

"Harry…I never knew…Believe me, I would have come to you right away if I had known even an inkling of…"

"Stop it," Harry said, not wanting to hear how his life could've changed for the better if only this man could think for himself. "The Dursleys are the past, and I'm not here to try to assuage your guilt by saying I don't blame you, or it's not your fault, or you couldn't have known," Harry said, crossing his arms. "I am here to keep you from making the same mistake again."

"I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about," Lupin admitted, trying to pull himself together.

Harry raised a pointed eyebrow, unconsciously mimicking Snape. "Oh really? Can't think of anyone else who you might have abandoned as well?"

Lupin shook his head, truly baffled.

"What about Sirius Black?" Harry asked. "He was one of your best friends, wasn't he? With such a strong bond of friendship, I would have thought you'd make sure every 'I' was dotted and every 't' was crossed. We are talking about a life time in Azkaban after all."

"Everything was so chaotic after that night," Lupin said distressed. "I had just learned two of my dear friends were dead at the hands of the most terrifying wizard in the world, Black had killed Peter, and I was left all alone. By the time the dust settled, Black was already in Azkaban along with dozens of other Death Eaters."

"But didn't you even ask what happened to your friend? Or did you just believe what the newspapers said?" Harry insisted. He couldn't understand, try as he might. If Ron or Hermione, or even if Draco Malfoy, had been accused of something of this magnitude, he would have wanted to know everything about the trial from start to finish.

"Of course I did," Lupin growled, finally revealing a little of the wolf that lived inside him. "I'm sorry…"

Harry shook his head. "No, you have a right to get angry. In fact, I want you to get angry-angry enough to start demanding answers," Harry said. "Like I said, your problem is that you just roll over and take it. You believe everything that Dumbledore has told you without even thinking twice. Now, let me guess, you had asked Old Dumbles what happened with your friend, Sirius, am I right?"

Remus nodded mutely, and Harry could see the seeds of doubt were already taking root. Harry was going to make them blossom. He took out the letter that Andromeda had written to him about what Amelia Bones found in her investigation.

As Lupin's eyes darted across the page, Harry watched in morbid fascination. When he got to the part where they said he hadn't even been given a trial, Harry actually saw Lupin's normally brown eyes flash golden. "Is this true?" Lupin demanded, his voice having gone growl-ey. "Is this true, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "I'm afraid so," he confirmed.

"Merlin, I really have made a mess of things," Lupin moaned, this time the tears were shed. "Oh, forgive me Padfoot…" He dried his tears and looked up at Harry with such sad eyes, that even Harry was starting to feel bad for him. "Do you know where Sirius is? Can you tell me?"

Actually Harry could find out where Sirius was if he wanted to, remembering the magical tag he put on Ron's old wand. He didn't think Sirius would toss away his only access to magic, but he wasn't going to tell Lupin that. Harry had plans for Sirius Black when this case gets blown wide open, so he shook his head. "If I did, I'd drag him up the ministry steps and demand a trial," he lied. "After all, we don't know if Black really did betray my parents or if he really did kill those muggles and Pettigrew. All we know is that he didn't get a fair trial the first time."

Lupin sighed. "So what is being done now?" he asked.

Harry shrugged. "It's up to my lawyer and Amelia Bones now. Just all that stupid stalling the Ministry is so good at," he answered. "Just out of curiosity, what did Old Dumbles say about Black's arrest?"

Harry was pleased to see the darkened look on Lupin's face at the mention of the Headmaster. "He just said Sirius was guilty and is locked up in Azkaban," Lupin snarled. "Didn't even bother to check the records."

"Not that he would have to," Harry added. "According to my politics' teacher, Professor Tonks, they can't hold a trial of that magnitude without him, especially as he is the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamut."

For a moment, Lupin's eyes flashed gold again. "So he knew Sirius didn't even get a trial! He had to of known…" Thousands of thoughts flew through both their minds, since Harry had just realized this too. "Why would he hide this fact?" Lupin asked, voicing both their thoughts.

"I don't know, but I'll make sure my lawyer knows about this," Harry said, before retrieving the letter and storing it in his bag.

"Harry, I'd like to thank you for bringing some rather painful truths to light," Lupin said. "I know it couldn't have been easy."

"Then don't waste it by going back to being a meek little lamb," Harry sneered. "You're supposed to be a werewolf, one of the most dominant creatures on earth."

Lupin sighed, nodding. "Message received, Harry."

And with that, Harry pulled up his cloak and disappeared.

A/N: I hoped the long awaited Harry vs Remus confrontation lives up to all your guys' expectation. The bar was set pretty high, and I was scared to fall short of that mark. Like all my other secondary characters, they need time to get over their deeply ingrained loyalty to Dumbledore and the Light ideals before they can be on Harry's side.

As for the widening rift in the Golden Trio…things has to get worse before they can get better, for Hermione at least. She will keep pushing and pushing, which is in her nature to do so, until Harry can't stand it anymore. When that time comes, she will have to make a choice.

Next up is the first of my personal favorites…Harry will be Calling for his Sprites! Lots of Marvolo and Harry action ;)
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In Servitude of the Dark: The Hand That Guides Me