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Envy and Manipulations	By : rrabbit Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Ginny Views: 8376 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters from it.... therefore I do not receive any payment for this writing.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
I am going to kill him.

I am going to kill him, bring him back, and then kill him again. I'm gripping my wand so tightly that it might snap in half. I am going to kill him.

I am going to kill him.

I'm seeing red as I walk down the bright halls of the Beauxbaton palace. It's all sparkling and white and the curtains are a beautiful robin's egg blue color that shines in the sun... I hate it. I hate everything right now and I especially hate Draco. I sneer as I think of him and his handsome pointy face that I love so much. My hands start shaking and my cheeks feel like they're on fire. I am going to lift my wand and tear him to shreds, that cheating bastard!

I stop in my tracks when I hear a feminine giggle and I tilt my head to the left.

I hear it again and I feel my blood boiling.

It's a french giggle, if there ever was such a thing.

I narrow my eyes as I imagine all the terrible things Draco is doing right now to that french hussy. I can see them tangled around each other with Draco's cheeks flushed and that sinful smirk on his face. I can see him biting her shoulder like he always bites mine as he drills into her. I can see him telling her he loves her. I inhale a sharp breath and I bite my lower lip so hard that I break skin.

I am going to kill him!

I hear another giggle and my eyes narrow dangerously.

I can't stand it anymore. My skin is on fire. I feel like I'm going to explode and a terrible, terrible headache has started to weed it's way through my brain, making me see spots. I locate the door where the giggles are coming from and I open it with a jerk of my hand.

It bangs against the wall and the girl screams as she hops away from the boy.

The girl is Sophie and the boy is... not Draco.

Oh.

I feel my anger deflate as relief washes over me... but the relief is short lived because I'm so hot now that I'm actually sweating.

They both stare at me with shocked expressions and then the boy's eyes flick down to my lip. I bring a self conscious hand up to cover it and when I pull back, I see blood.

I must look a mess.

That Sophie girl says something to me... something bitchy in french judging by her facial expression, but I have no idea what the fuck she's saying so I shake my head.

"I'm looking for my boyfriend," I tell her as I send a look to the boy sitting on the desk. He looks a little too mousy to be with that lovely Sophie girl, to be honest. I would never say that out loud, of course. As long as she isn't with my Draco, I'm fine.

God, I am so hot.

I lean against the door frame and squint my eyes because the light is hurting my head... everything is hurting my head and I pull on the collar of my uniform to try to cool myself down.

"I'm looking for Draco. Do you know where Draco is?" I ask and she crosses her arms. "Draco Malfoy?"

"I know who he is," she says in a french accent.

I try to ignore the irritation in her voice.

I would be a little tiffed too if someone destroyed my snog session, but my head hurts too much and I'm way too hot to feel bad about it.

She was Draco's past girlfriend, after all. It's in a rule book some where that I'm not supposed to like her.

"Do you know where he is?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"I do not," she says with her hands on her hips and I nod my head. I spare a glance at the mousy bloke who's watching me like I just spoiled his favorite sport.

I look at Sophie again. I suppose I did.

"Okay, then," I say gently. "Sorry," I add for good measure as I close the door to let her get to it.

If Draco wasn't doing anything with her... then where is he and why do I feel so terrible?

I wipe my forehead off with the back of my hand and I cringe at all the sweat. Why am I sweating? I am so fucking hot and my head feels like it's going to explode. Draco never came to me sweating and looking like a beast every time the tables were turned. Why is this happening to me? I lean against the wall and try to catch my breath as I clench my eyes shut... trying to get rid of this damn headache.

"Ginny?"

I snap my eyes open.

Draco, just the person I wanted to see.

"You fucking bastard," I hiss at him. I find my energy and I push off the wall. "What have you been doing?" I snap at him and he looks puzzled.

"What?" he says and my temper boils over to an unhealthy level.

Draco is so good at spinning things around on me, changing the subject, and making something seem different than how it originally was.

I will not let him do that to me now.

"What have you been doing?"

The windows start to shake and he looks around with a quick snap of his neck before focusing on me again.

I don't even care.

"What are you talking about?" he ask as he steps closer to me, looking over my face with a critical eye. "Jesus, your face is all red. What's going on with you?" I push him with my hands on his strong chest and he stumbles back a few paces. "Don't fucking push me," he hisses and my brain pulses painfully at his glare.

A window explodes at the very end of the hall and Draco looks concerned.

"You cheated on me, that's what," I say as I inhale sharply. The little dots are swimming in front of my eyes again and I feel like my body is going to bust any moment now.

I had a feeling like this once when I was small and running around in the summer heat all day with out bothering to drink water. The healer said it was heat stroke... Why is it happening to me now?

"Calm down," he whispers while taking a step closer to me.

"Don't tell me to calm down, you cheating bastard!"

The windows keep on rattling down the hall, like a strong gust of wind was outside, making them shake like cowards.

"Ginny," he snaps. He grips my arm and pushes me against one of the vibrating walls. "Do you even see what you're doing?" he hisses as he glances at the shaking windows. "You're going to alert the whole damn castle."

"I don't care!" I yell at him and I smack his hand away when he goes to run his thumb over my hurt lip.

"Why are you bleeding?" he asks sharply. He shakes his head and brings his wrist up to my forehead, like he was checking my temperature. "You are burning up," he says as he lets his hand fall. "You need to go to a healer. You have an insane fever."

"Not until you tell me what you've been doing, you cheater!"

"I wasn't cheating!" he shouts at me and I flinch from the intensity in his voice. "It wouldn't make you burn like this," he says seriously, trying to control his temper as he runs a hand over my arm. "Only the person in trouble burns..." he trails off and shakes his head as he looks me over. "No, this is something different."

I don't know if I should believe him. I don't know what to do with myself right now.

"I wouldn't cheat on you," he says as he brings his hand up to rest on my neck. I inhale a long breath and look down because I feel like I honestly might faint or something terrible like that. "I am painfully monogamous in my relationships, Ginny," he says like I was stupid. "It would be quite unfair of me to be cheating considering how hard I am on you," he says and that does make sense, in a way, I guess. "I am too fucking busy to cheat anyways. I wouldn't even be able to find the time."

He didn't have to say that last bit, to be honest.

"Then why did you take so long?" I ask in a breathless voice. My stomach turns oddly and I put my hand along my midsection to deaden the odd pain there. "You weren't going to the loo for twenty minutes," I hiss as I glare up at him.

Don't let him spin this. Don't let him win.

"My father was at the game. He wanted to speak to me," he says with a frown as he looks me over like I had sprouted another head. I bend over slightly because my stomach, and my head, and my whole entire body feels like it's going to fall apart. "Jesus Christ, Gin. What is going on with you?" he asks gently as he runs his hand down my arm. I push him away and put my hands on my knees.

I might throw up.

I barely notice the windows still shaking. It's like background music now. Faint and not intrusive, but I cringe when I hear shoes tapping against the marble floor. It's echoing against my eardrums, making my spine tingle.

"You look terrible," Draco whispers as he kneels in front of me so he can see my face. "What is happening to you?"

I give him a look. "Don't say that to me," I hiss at him.

He just bruised my vanity by saying that. I am well aware that I look terrible considering how I feel. I don't need anyone pointing it out, thank you. I blink a few times and then I wince when my brain feels like it pulses.

"I can feel the blood run through my brain." I say. I know it doesn't make much sense, but Draco looks even more concerned than before. "Something isn't right," I whisper and he nods his head.

"Let me take you to their healer," he says gently as he stands straight to take my elbow.

"Just wait," I say as I inhale deeply through my nostrils. I hold my hand to his chest to stop him from trying to help me. "I don't want to move just yet."

"What is going on here?" I hear Odette's annoyingly old voice grate against my ear drums and I clench my eyes shut. It hurts to listen to her. "What are you doing, Mr. Malfoy?" she asks. When she gets close enough, she takes one look at me before looking repulsed. Thanks again. "Let me have a look," she says and Draco steps between us.

"No," he says flatly as he pushes my sweating mess of a form behind him. I fold my arms over my stomach and rest against the wall. "I will take her to the infirmary here."

Odette narrows her beady eyes dangerously and she lifts her clip board like it was a shield. "I am more than capable to handle this situation," she says flatly. "My healing license is as good as the next and I was given very specific orders to look over Miss Weasley's well being until she is old enough to be bred."

Bred.

She literally just said bred.

I am not some animal.

I narrow my eyes and suddenly the windows start shaking with even more force and ferocity. I barely even notice, but Draco looks at me with dark, unreadable eyes.

Our eyes meet and I glare.

I hate that Odette woman.

I hate that she is always following me and I never get one damn moment to myself between her and Draco and Draco's friends.

I hate them all.

"I must report this and her healing report after I check her over," Odette says as she glances around at the shaking windows with her eyes slightly narrowed as she writes a note on her clip board. "If she is ill, the Dark Lord will want to know why."

She goes to step around Draco but he doesn't move, so she ends up just reaching for me. When her paper like skin touches my arm, I yank it back violently.

"Don't touch me, you old hag," I hiss and she narrows her eyes into two little slits.

"How dare you," she says as she tries to touch me again. "I have orders from the Great Dark Lord to watch over you and I'll be damned if you ruin this for me."

"Do not touch me!" I yell as I stand to my full height. I'm taller than her. For once that made me feel like I had a little more power.

"You stupid little girl-"

Odette said more vile things to me, but I couldn't hear them because I was too angry and the windows were too loud.

When she went to touch me again, I pulled back and punched her in the jaw. Her face flew to the side like a rag doll and I just stared at her with hateful eyes, trying to still the pulsing in my brain.

My hand starts to hurt as I shake it out. I've never hit someone like that before. She snaps her old face back to mine with her expression screwed up in insane looking anger.

She wants to hurt me. I can tell.

She goes for her wand, but Draco pushes me back again.

He's saying harsh words to the wounded Odette, but I can't hear it... Well, I can... I just can't make out his words because now there's an odd ringing in my head that makes everything fuzzy. I lean to the side, with my back against the wall, and I hold my head in my hands.

"...You will be punished for you insolence in this matter, Malfoy..." I hear Odette hiss at Draco. I glance at his strong back through my fingers and I see his spine stiffen. "And I am telling the Dark Lord about all of this," she says and I see her hands motioning to the shaking windows. I glare at them. "Her magic is unstable and you were wrong when you said you could turn her..."

A pulse runs through my brain and I cringe as I hunch over more.

"...She will be taken and have her mind cleaned like the others..." Her voice again. It's like nails on a chalk board. "...Our Lord didn't want it to come to this, but I see no other option. She will not be changed..."

"Shut up," I say and my mouth feels weird and dry.

I lick my lips. It hurts.

"...This little experiment of yours has failed and I believe the Dark Lord has known for quite some time how attached you've become..."

"Shut up," I say a little louder as her voice tears at the headache in my brain.

"...She will be easier to manage under re-education. It was foolish to think a blood traitor would-"

"SHUT UP!" I scream.

It finally gets their attention and they both look at me in surprise as their conversation dies flat. Odette looks shocked for half a moment before glaring and Draco... Draco's eyes look unreadable.

Like always.

"Why am I even standing here talking to you children," she says with an eye roll as she goes to lift her wand again. "This is just foolish."

"I told you to shut up," I say darkly. I kind of want to hit her again and from the corner of my eye, I see Draco reaching into his pocket to get his wand.

"Yes, I heard that, dear," she tells me in a condescending voice. "In fact, I think all of France did." She flicks her wrist and means to hit Draco with a curse. I suppose it's to get him out of the way, but she didn't notice his wand and he easily deflected it. Her eyes inflame with anger and she looks like she's ready to kill when her curse goes bouncing off the opposite wall. Draco stands before her all tall and handsome with one hand casually in his pocket and the other leveling his wand at her chest. "Are you kidding me? You are already in so much trouble-"

She was going to start ranting again and I just couldn't take it. Her voice is too damn annoying and I cover my ears with my hands.

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up," I keep repeating with a stomp of my foot and my eyes clenched tight. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up..."

"What is wrong with you!" she yells at me.

The way she said it, with so much disdain, made me want to throttle her.

"SHUT UP!" I scream again like some mad woman.

Then all the windows start to shatter, one by one, like someone was throwing a bomb through each window to see the inside explode.

Draco grabs me and forces me down to my knees. I cover my head as the glass flies around us and I hear Draco cuss and hiss as he drops to his knees beside me, covering me from most of the destruction. It sounds like a fireworks show and I jump with each explosion, but Draco barely moves. After a couple seconds, he cusses again and falls on me a bit more. I barely feel it as the glass breaks and busts and slashes everything around us. Then is all falls silent and I carefully uncover my head to look around.

There are glass shards everywhere... not one window was left untouched, and I blink a few times as I take in one of the tapestries on the far wall. I think it used to have some kind of unicorn scene woven into it, but it was in tatters now. It made me feel bad. The cold fall wind is blowing in freely from outside and it chills me and my fever. I stay on my knees and cross my arms as I look up at Draco. He's still kneeling beside me and he's staring down at me with a look on his face I can't exactly place.

Wonder and... and fear?

That can't be right.

I shake my head. Of course, that can't be right.

"Draco?" Is all I manage to say through the lump in my throat. He has a cut across his left cheek and I frown at is as the blood drips down his pale skin.

Did I do this?

I look around the hallway at all the broken windows while Draco stands up and towers over me. He offers me his hand and I look into his face. That look is gone. That odd look that I have never seen him have before has vanished, replaced by his usual look of cold, emotionless disdain.

It's a look that somehow fits him.

I take his hand and allow him to pull me to my feet. I wince when I see the cut even closer... a piece of glass must have got him and I feel guilty for it. We're lucky it didn't hit anything else, like his neck or his eyes... or anything else that could be fatal.

I don't feel any better, though.

My stomach still hurts.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as I eye his face. He stares at me for an uncomfortable amount of time before he raises a brow like I was a puzzle he was trying to figure out.

Then we hear a groan.

We both look towards Odette. She had been thrown on her back during the blast and she groans in pain again as she tries to roll to her side.

Draco takes out his wand again and goes towards the old woman. He kneels beside her and points his wand at her chest as he glares down at her. I watch as he swishes his wand a few times, erasing her memory the way he had erased my mother's and the man he had nearly killed in the forest that one summer day.

"You lost control of your magic and shattered all the windows in this hallway," he tells the old woman as she lays still on her back, blinking up at him like a frightened child. "You will suggest a leave of absence. You're too old and the job is too hard," he says and she nods her head. He pockets his wand and takes her clipboard, tearing off the top sheet and balling it up. "Now, lay here for another five minutes and then go find one of the Beauxbaton faculty. You will tell them what you have done. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she says and I furrow my brows as he puts the paper in his pocket.

How did Draco get so good at this? Messing with the mind is always tricky business.

"You never saw me and you never saw Ginny. You came into this hallway to find the washroom and got confused and disorientated. Understood?"

"Yes," she says again in the same monotone voice.

"Good," he says tiredly.

He lifts his wand one more time before standing and facing me again. I cross my arms. I still burn terribly.

"Did I do this?" I whisper, already knowing the answer.

He nods his head and then holds out his hand again. I eye it for a few moments and then I lick my lips nervously, placing my hand in his. He begins pulling me down the opposite hallway, away from Odette and all the broken glass.

"Why did you do that to her?" I ask seriously.

"I can't have her seeing the spells I have on you," he says and I swallow hard. "She would tell the dark lord and it's too early in the game for that."

"Oh..." I whisper even though I have way too many questions to ask him right now. I just feel like I might faint.

He doesn't say anything to me as we walk and he doesn't even look at me.

"Wait," I whine as a sharp pain in my stomach makes me stop. I tug on his hand as I bend over.

"What in the hell is going on with you?" he snaps hatefully and I clench my eyes shut again as my stomach turns.

"I don't feel well," I tell him and then I cover my mouth as the bile moves up my throat.

"What?" he says, because my words were muffled by my hand. He places his hand on my shoulder and my stomach heaves.

Then I throw up around my hand. It burns the back of my throat and I can taste how disgusting it is. I heave again and more vomit comes up, seeping threw my fingers. The thought of how it must look makes me throw up even more and I see spots in front of my eyes again. I can't stop it, so I put my hand down and empty my stomach all over the floor and all over Draco's riding pants.

I would be appalled if I didn't feel like I was dying. My eyes are watering and my stomach is contracting in a million odd ways that hurt and make me wish I was at home in bed with my parents watching over me. My throat feels like it's on fire as I heave and spit and make horrific noises.

Draco says something to me, but I can't hear it. He moves quickly to get out of the way as I fall to my knees and put my hands on the floor, emptying every single thing I had in my stomach. After a lifetime of getting sick, my body gives me a break and I breathe heavily for a few moments, trying to catch my breath as the air reeks of my sickness. I gag again and then open open my eyes so I'm staring right at my pool of vomit.

It's red.

Red like blood.

That can't be good.

It takes me a few moments to realize that someone's rubbing my back, but when I feel Draco's warm hand sliding up and down my spine, I try to relax my taunt frame. I settle back on my knees and wipe off the back of my mouth with my hand, feeling completely disgusting. Everything on my body hurts now. The muscles in my stomach, my throat, my mouth, my head... everything is in pain and I'm crying. Crying horribly with loud sobs and shaking breaths. I must look pathetic and when I feel my stomach lurch again, I shake my head. I can't possibly throw up again. I can't have anything left. That can't be happening...

I feel my mouth water.

I can't possibly...

I lean forward and puke again. This time I feel Draco holding onto my pony tail so it won't get into the vomit and I keep going until there is literally nothing left in me to wretch. I end up just dry heaving, wishing for death.

Draco waits a few moments, and then he swishes his wand. The puddle of vomit disappears, but the smell doesn't. "Let's just make it home," he whispers as he pulls me up.

I lean against him for support, trying not to shake.

We don't go to the Beauxbaton hospital wing and we don't go back to their Feast Hall. We head straight for the carriages and Draco lays me down on one of the seats before he disappears. I don't even care where he went. My world is spinning and when I close my eyes I feel like I'm on a boat in the middle of a violent sea.

"I told the coach we're going home," he tells me as he climbs into the carriage with our things over his shoulder. He throws them on the opposite seat and sits beside me. "I told him you were having women problems," he says in disgust and I make a face as well as he drapes his riding cloak over my body. I curl into a ball and hug my knees. "Guys never seem to question that," he says matter of factly.

I guess that's true.

I keep my eyes shut tight the whole ride home, trying not to throw up again. When we get back to the castle, Draco takes me by the arm.

"Why aren't we going to the infirmary?" I ask in a weary voice as we pass that hallway.

"Because," is all he says as we take the halls and staircases that lead to his dorm. I'm too tired to walk by the time we reach his room, and when he opens the door, I nearly lurch towards his bed. "Do you think you'll throw up again?" he asks flatly as I lay on the bed with my body curled into the fetal position.

I shake my head even though I don't know if that's true.

"Here," he says as he nudges my arm so I'll look at him. He holds up a glass of water and sets it on the night stand. "This is for you, and this," he holds up the trash bin and sets it by the bed. "Is if you throw up again."

I nod my head and turn back into the pillow.

"I'll be right back," he says and then he starts walking towards the door. I pull his cloak over me like a blanket because I don't want to move to get the actual covers.

It's that bad.

He pauses a moment and I hear him hesitate at the door before he walks back to me. He hovers over my body for a few moments, just staring at me as the weight from his hands makes the mattress sink down.

I ignore his stare.

He places a kiss against my temple and runs his nose along my cheek. "I love you," is all he says and I don't have the strength to say it back so I just nod my head.

He really does leave after that, and once I hear his door close, I sink even further into the bed. I feel like I just ran a marathon, a marathon in the desert without shoes or water.

I feel like I'm dying.

I allow myself to fall into a sweaty and fitful sleep.

When I dream I dream about flying.

Flying high over the ocean. My black wings cast a long shadow along the rippling water as I glide along the wind. In the distance, I see a small row boat floating along the water, rocking with the waves and moving with the sway of the wind.

I fly overhead.

Curled at the bottom of the small row boat is a woman in a white dress.

I soar down and perch on the boat.

She has long brown hair that's frizzy and tangled about her head. It actually reminds me of Hermione when she wakes in the morning after a long night's rest. The girl moves. She looks ill. Her skin is an odd sallow color and she looks impossibly thin.

I hop down on the floor beside her and then I turn into a snake. She doesn't move as I start to slither around her, nudging her awake. She's weak and she looks out of it as she blinks a few times and licks her pale, dry lips that are cracked and bleeding.

She swallows hard, like she was swallowing cotton and when she finally focuses on me she doesn't even looked surprised.

"I will not speak to you, devil," she says in a weak voice as she tries to push herself up, but she slumps against the boat floor in a weak and lazy heap. "It's so hot," she whispers.

I slither to the edge of the boat and I turn my form again.

"You could speak to me in that form," I tell her, knowing full well she was a parslemouth. "You just refuse to. You're so boring," I say with a sigh. "Your whole family is... besides your sisters," I whistle. "Aren't they just a joy to be around," I say sarcastically, but she hardly notices.

This time, I'm a tall man in a black robe and I help the girl sit up, propping her up against the edge of the boat because she's too weak to stand herself. Her white dress is filthy and looks like she's been wearing it for days. Dangling around her neck is a necklace on a long gold chain with a yellow stone on the end. I want to touch it, but I don't.

"My Lady," I say with a smirk on my face. My voice is deep and strong.

It's almost scary.

"My Lord," she says and I laugh.

It's a short bark of a laugh.

The girl tries to focus her tired eyes again, and when they land on mine, she lets her delicate draw drop.

"It's you," she says and I'm feeling rather smug as I pick some lint from my robe and flick it to the sea. "My Lord killed you last spring."

"Did he?" I ask with a raised brow. I put my hands together in between my knees and I smile. "It looks as though I am very much alive, wouldn't you say?"

"I saw you burn," she says, sounding stronger as she tries to sit a bit straighter.

"Did you?" I question. "How do you know it was me?"

"You're the Soothsayer that was banished from court. I saw you die." I suppose if she had been strong enough she would have yelled that. "You are an evil warlock."

"No," I say smugly. "I am a powerful wizard. There is a difference. And you," I lean forward and press my finger to her knee. "Are a witch."

"I am not," she hisses hatefully.

"Your husband seems to think so," I say as I lean back again. "Isn't that why you're out here?" I ask as I dip my hand over the side to touch the water and I flick some up so it lands on that filthy white dress of hers.

"He is confused," the woman says as she inhales deeply. It's a rattling breath. She's dying. "He was tricked by my wicked sisters. He is a good man. He is not evil like you."

"I'm not the one who sent you out in this boat to die, now did I? How evil does that make me then?" I ask rhetorically as the woman blinks, trying to keep her eyes open. "You know," I say as I casually cross my legs, my robe falls back to reveal black leather shoes with silver buckles. "You could have easily left this predicament you're in. If only you would tap into the magic that you know you possess."

"Magic is the work of the devil," the woman says and I roll my eyes.

"Saints do it, it's a miracle, everyone else it's evil. Perfect logic," I say sarcastically and she narrows her tired eyes. "I did not come here for conversation," I say, sounding more serious. "I came here to make a proposition for you," I continue and she stares at me with her dark eyes sullen. "Your sons are not dead," I say and energy flickers in her eyes once more at the mentions of her children. "Not totally," I correct myself.

"What does that mean?" she asks, her voice full of hope and newly found strength.

"I saw your sister's drowning the children," I tell her as I let my eyes dance along her face. Now she looks like she's in pain. "They left them in the water, hoping the current would take them away and the animals would feast on their flesh." The woman crinkles her nose and covers her mouth at the thought. "But they came to me instead," I tell her and her eyes water. "They were not completely dead," I tell her.

"What does that mean?" she asks again, leaning forward to get closer to me.

"I could bring them back to life with that evil magic that you find so repulsive," I explain, looking right into her eyes. "But magic needs it's balance and to bring your children back, there will be a price."

She's silent for a very long time.

When she speaks again, I know that I've won.

"What price?" She asks, her voice low and strange.

I smile and then pull the dagger from my robes.

"To do this, I would require a fee, if you will," I tell her and she frowns as she looks at the dagger with trepidation. "You come from a very strong line of magical folk who have stupidly hidden it from the rest of the world. People like us should not be in hiding. We are Superior, closer to God than any other thing on Earth."

"You speak blasphemous things," the once beautiful woman says. "God will smite you for such talk."

"Yes, I'm sure," I sneer sarcastically before getting back to it. "But, if you want your children to live full, healthy lives... then you must agree to something for me."

She doesn't say anything so I continue.

"I have seen what is to come if a union of our blood lines comes to pass," I tell her thoughtfully. "And I must say I enjoy the picture it paints. A world where people such as us are not reviled or hidden in the shadows, but held up as Gods to be revered and worshiped all over the world. After all, the Holy Lord is but a powerful wizard in all his glory, is he not?"

She wants to say something about God and smiting again... I can just tell, but she doesn't have the strength.

"What do you want?" she says flatly.

"I want a promise," I tell her as I dance the dagger blade along my palm. "From you to me through blood. I want an oath that will promise one of your descendents to mine. Unbreakable through blood and unstoppable through magic."

"If this is the future you see," she says softly. "Then why must I promise you anything?"

I sneer a bit. I didn't expect her to question me. "What could happen doesn't always come to pass. There is always an alternative road to be taken. I just want to make sure that this story takes the road I wish it to take," I explain flatly. "It is all for the betterment of our kind and the future of our race."

"How do I know you're not lying?" she whispers through cracked lips.

I take out my wand, a crude thing made from a three branch, not sanded and unstained. I put it at my temple. Out of it I pull a memory, and I flash it in front of her eyes so she can watch. Her babies cry as the sisters take them in the middle of the night... their struggles as they're held underwater... their blue lips as I fished them from the sea... the tomb in which I placed them, still breathing the shallowest of breaths, holding onto that spark of life just by the softest magic.

"Why do you leave them there?" she asks with a sob in her throat because she knows such images could not be false.

"They will stay there unless I have your word," I tell her harshly.

She nods her head.

I smile again.

I slice my palm and then hers.

I grab her hand so that our blood mingles.

Yellow bands of light circle our hands, binding them together and once the spell is complete, I go to hand her the dagger, but she just stares at it.

She gives me a questioning look. "What is this for?"

"One life for two," I tell her as her dark eyes take in the dagger as I hold it up to the sun. I can see my reflection in the blade. I see an older man with a strong jaw staring back at me and red hair that shines in the sun. Red hair, Weasley hair, my hair. "A mother's sacrifice is very powerful magic, you understand," I say as I offer the blade handle to her. "For me to bring your children back to a full life, you must die. Magic must balance. I can't bring them back without a sacrifice."

"You want to kill me?" she whispers as she eyes the dagger.

"You're dying anyways," I say seriously and it's true. "And I don't want to kill you," I say with a smirk and I wait for her shoulders to slump in relief. "I want you to kill yourself," I say, almost smiling at the panic in her eyes.

"Blood for blood, tooth for tooth... and all that," I tell her with a smile. She doesn't say anything for a great while as she stares down at the blade.

I hand it to her.

She takes it this time.

"Blood for blood," I repeat as I nod at the dagger.

She doesn't move.

I pull the memory with my wand again and flash her children in front of her once more. They're playing, running around, dancing, laughing, and alive.

Her lower lip trembles and then with a shaking hand she brings the dagger up to her neck.

She presses hard and slices quickly.

The blood comes pouring out as she falls back, slumping against the bottom of the boat. That filthy white dress soaks up some of the red blood as it pools around my shiny black shoes. I pick up the dagger and wipe it off with a part of her dress as her blood spills all over the boat.

My hands are covered in her blood.

I hold up the dagger to the sun again and look at my reflection.

I'm smiling.

I wake with a start and tense when I feel Draco's hand wrap around my middle. "Just a dream," I hear him whisper against my ear.

My breath is coming out in short gasps and when Draco kisses just under my ear, I try to relax.

Just a dream. It was just a dream. If I keep telling myself that maybe I'll stop shaking.

"Nightmare?" he asks softly and I nod my head, trying to get the image of that woman cutting her throat out of my mind.

It's disturbing.

My heart is fluttering a mile a minute and I blink a few times in rapid succession, trying to tell myself that it was a dream and now things are real. In bed, with Draco. That's real.

My hands still feel like they're stained with blood and I hold them up to see them in the morning light just to make sure. There's nothing there... but I can't help but feel it.

"What are you doing?" he asks as I stare at my hands like I had never seen them before.

I've always liked you in red.

I shake that voice from my head. Tom's voice.

"Nothing," I whisper softly as his arm tightens around me.

I take his hand and intertwine our fingers, bringing them up to my face where I rest my lips against the back of his hand. I close my eyes. My mouth feels disgusting and with a cringe I realize I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Draco scoots a bit closer to me so his chest is pressed right against my back and I shift uncomfortably when I feel his arousal pressing against me.

I do not want to have sex right now. I feel terrible. "I'm tired," I whisper so he won't try anything. I feel gross and sick and everything unattractive under the sun.

I try to curve my body so it's not touching his, but he holds me closer. "I can't help it," he says tiredly with a yawn and I feel the corner of my mouth tilt up the slightest bit because his voice sounds so soft and so... un-Draco like.

I kiss his hand.

"But don't kiss me," he says seriously and I laugh a little. "That won't help anything."

"Sorry," I say as I roll on my back and stretch my arms out before settling again. I'm still wearing the cheer-leading uniform from yesterday and I'm sure I look a right mess right about now. I bring my hand up to cover my mouth because I know my breath smells disgusting.

"You still look tired," Draco points out and I frown at him because that's basically saying I look like crap.

I feel like crap so that can't be too far off. He brings his hand up and runs his fingers over my profile. Tracing the line of my nose all the way down my chin.

"Go back to sleep," he says gently as he pulls his hand back. "I am going to take a shower."

I nod my head. It sounds like a good idea, actually.

I turn my head and close my eyes as as he gets off the bed and when the bathroom door closes, I turn on my side again.

I can't get that woman and her dark eyes out of my head, though. I try to go back to sleep, I really do, but I just can't so I sit up and let my feet rest on the cold floor as I rub sleep from my eyes. When I pull back I see my make up rubbed off on my fingers and I sigh.

Lovely.

I look at the glass of water on the night stand and I pick it up greedily, gulping it down quickly in a few swallows. I didn't realize how thirsty I was and when I put the glass back down on the table I wish there was more. I don't really feel like moving, though, so I put my elbows on my knees and close my eyes as I rest my chin in my hands. That dream seemed so vivid and real... like the dreams I have with Tom that have haunted me since I was eleven.

I shake my head again, but my eyes snap open the someone opens the door.

It's Blaise and he pauses in the doorway when he see me sitting on the bed. "Where's Draco?" he asks suspiciously as he looks around the room like I was playing some sort of trick on him.

"He's in the shower," I say in a scratchy voice as I nod to the bathroom door where the shower water can be heard.

He nods his head in acceptance and he looks around the room one more time before carefully stepping in.

He's fully dressed for a casual day off from classes. He's wearing a pair of dark denim jeans and a black v neck jumper that fits him perfectly, outlining his Quidditch players body. His shoulders aren't as broad as Draco's and he's a little bit thicker in his shape. I have no idea why I'm even comparing the two, to be honest... and I have no idea why I'm even noticing what he's wearing. It's weird and I shake it off. Under his arm is a leather potions kit and he stares at me for a few moments before raising his brows and walking further in the room, the door shutting behind him with a snap.

I cough. "What are you doing here?" I ask and I cough again because I seem to have something in the back of my throat.

He sets the kit on the writing desk and I stare at his back as he opens it and takes a few things out. "Did you know that my father was a very well known healer?" he asks as he holds up some kind of vial to the morning light. It shines like liquid gold against the sun and I see it disappear again as he places it on the desk.

"Your real father?" I state because I know Zabini has had a series of step fathers over the years. He nods his head sharply as he rolls up his sleeves. "What happened to him?" I question softly. I guess because it's so early in the morning, and I'm still a little off kilter by the dream, I feel a little braver when speaking to him.

"He died," he says flatly and I nod my head as I stand up.

"I know that but..." I trail off and furrow my brows as I cross my arms. It's cold and I'm still wearing that ridiculous cheer-leading outfit from the game yesterday. I grab one of Draco's blankets and I wrap it around me as I walk towards the writing desk, right towards Zabini. When I get closer to him, his amber eyes flick to mine and I realize how tactless I'm being. "Nevermind," I say as I look away. "Forget it."

He stares at me a little longer before shaking his head and going back to his potions kit.

"You look like hell, Weasley," he says and I know it's true, but my cheeks blush anyways.

"Thanks," I mutter as I try to tame my hair because its all loose and wild, having come loose from my pony tail some time during the night.

He eyes me again, like he thought I was going to do something to him, and then he taps his lip.

"You have blood right here," he says as he studies my face.

"Oh," I say as I bring my hand up to cover it. I guess I do from where I bit it last night and my cheeks blush again as I try to lick it off. "What are you doing?" I ask after I give up trying to look presentable. He's lining up ten little bottles of different colored potions on the desk.

"Getting my things ready," he says as he pulls a thick leather bound book from inside of the kit. In gold letters on the well worn leather cover is the name C. Zabini.

"Why?"

His eyes flick to the door where Draco is still taking his shower and then he goes back to his things. "Let's wait on Malfoy, shall we?" he says and I frown a bit as I take a seat in Draco's writing chair.

"Of course," I say tiredly. "No one tells me anything."

"Maybe that's because you whine all the time," he says and I shoot him a hateful look. "Don't look at me like that's not true," he says with his mouth curved up in a cruel smirk. "Poor Ginny, her boyfriend doesn't tell her anything, she didn't make the quidditch team, girls are mean to her," he keeps going, making fun of all the things in my life that bother me and when he's finished he scoffs at my glare. "Come on, Ginny Weasley. Your life is good right now. I can tell you, I wouldn't be as forgiving as Draco has been if you were mine."

"What do you mean?" I say with my arms folded across my chest. I kind of want to hit him and I don't like word mine for some reason.

"I mean that Malfoy is really nice to you and you don't even appreciate it."

"He's not always nice to me," I admit as I think over our relationship and Blaise snaps his kit shut so loudly it makes me jump.

"You have no idea what he's like when you're not around," he says as he glances at me, the light hitting his eyes making them shine like gold. "He'snice to you, Weasley, and Draco is rarely nice to anyone."

"I've seen him be polite to many people." I feel like I should defend Draco. Even though he could be a right jerk sometimes, I like to believe that underneath it all he's sweet.

He nods his head. "That's his charm. He does it to get what he wants. Come on, Gin," he says and when he says my name like that it makes the hairs on the back on my neck stand on end. "We all have that gift," he says with a wink.

Ugh, Zabini. I shake my head and run my fingers along a groove on the writing desk. Blaise watches my finger run along the wood and when I notice the dirt under my fingernails, I quickly remove my hand in tuck it inside the blanket.

"Sometimes I think..." I say as I glance at the shower door again. "Sometimes I think he's using me." I admit as I think of my blood and everything that's transpired this year.

"Of course he is," he says with a small smile. "He uses everyone, but I will point out that he doesn't hold my hand in the hallways."

I lean back in the chair and narrow my eyes a bit. "So?" I say sharply and he raises one of his dark brows.

"I think you need to appreciate the fact that Draco is trying to be good to you," he says seriously and it makes me frown. "He doesn't have to be. There are other ways of getting what he wants from you," he points out and I narrow my eyes as I think about the time when he ordered me not to give my blood to Rookwood. He used me just to get information. "If you want him to tell you things, get better at blocking your mind. If you want him to stop being mad at you for being around other guys, then stop kissing and hugging blokes when no one else is around..."

"But..." I try to explain myself about the whole Dean situation but Blaise cuts me off.

"But nothing," he says with a sigh and then he look at me again. "Malfoy doesn't trust anyone. He never has and he never will." he says with narrowed eyes.

I stand up and take a step closer to him. I'm in fighting mode now.

"You're his friend. Doesn't he trust you?" I counter back sarcastically because I don't know why we're talking about this.

"No, he doesn't and with good reason," he says under his breath as he turns back to his potions.

"Why's that?" I press because I'm annoyed with him.

"Don't get me wrong, he can trust me with the important things," he says as he holds up some kind of vial of odd looking purple leaves. "It's just that I've always coveted his belongings," he says and then he flicks me a dark glance that makes me uncomfortable. "I can't help it." he says as he licks his lips. "He always seems to have the best of things..." He looks away. "Maybe they just seem like the best because they're his..." he adds with a raised brow like he was thinking it through. He looks at me again. "It's one of my character flaws," he says softly and then he turns back to the potion. "Not that I have many," he adds smugly in true Blaise Zabini fashion.

I don't say anything and he continues.

"It's been this way since we were small," he says and then he taps one of his canine teeth with the vial. "Draco would have the brand new toy my mother would never buy me and I would want it," he says in a serious voice as he looks out the window. "Doesn't mean I always got it," he adds flatly. "I learned that lesson the hard way when we were eight," he says with a smirk. "He knocked this out," he taps his tooth again. "I took his favorite broom and he took my tooth," he explains and then he licks his perfect lips before looking at me again. "It took two days for the healers to grow it back."

That's a disgusting story and when I make a face, Blaise catches it and smiles a little. A humorless little smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth.

"So, I say again, be more appreciative of how nice he is to you. His ruthless, Weasley. That's a lesson you never want to learn."

My frown deepens. "Is that kind of like a threat?" I ask uncomfortably and he looks at me once more.

"Take advantage of it while you have it. You aren't the only one bonded to Malfoy, Weasley, but he doesn't spoon anyone else at night and you should remember that. You're a part of this now and you're stuck. Do you want to man up and be a partner, or will you be joining the gardening club like the other mindless house wives in our society? Spending your summers at Yellow Springs, drinking ice tea while real wizards and witches are out there working to better our race."

I am so confused and I furrow my brows. "What do you mean by the bonded thing?" I ask seriously with an uneasy feeling in my heart. There are so many questions I want to ask him right now, but one sentence really stuck out in my head during his little speech.

I wasn't the only one bonded to Draco. What did that mean?

Blaise pauses for a second and runs his free hand through his thick dark hair like he was unsure if he should keep talking. "He doesn't have a harem of wives running around if that's what you're thinking," he says. "There are different kind of bonds and Draco has always been three steps ahead of everyone else. He might not be able to see the future, but he's prepared for it. Even when we were young and didn't know any better, he was thinking years down the line when we were thinking days," he adds, his voice sounding softer like he didn't want anyone else to over hear... softer and almost bitter.

"What does that mean?" I ask softly and he gives me a sharp look with his golden eyes narrowed.

"That means," he says as he glances at the bathroom door again. "Stop standing so goddamn close to me."

I take a step back just because of all the venom in his voice and a second later, the shower stops. Draco comes out of the bathroom after a couple of moments. He's buttoning up his slacks with a shirt thrown over his shoulder and when he sees Blaise standing by the writing desk, he raises a brow. I sit back down and wrap the blanket around me like it might protect me from everything bad in the world.

"You're early," he points out. He walks to the bedside table and picks up his watch to secure it on his wrist.

"Better than being late," Zabini says as he turns back to the desk.

I fold the blanket around me a bit tighter as I watch Draco put on his shirt. It's just a basic long sleeve shirt, but it's red, a very chromatic red that looks really good on him.

I don't think I've seen him in red yet. I like him in red.

He walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, placing a kiss on the top of my head. "Are you feeling better?" he asks. He smells really nice and clean now and I feel gross all over again when I realize how disgusting I am right now. When his fingers dance along the curve of my neck, I can't find it in me to look at him or Zabini so I stare at the floor with a blush staining my cheeks.

"Yes, a little," I admit softly. He holds onto my earlobe for a moment before letting it drop and stepping away. "Why is he here?" I ask as I look at Zabini with an eyebrow raised. "He wouldn't tell me."

"I asked him to come so he could do a few spells to find out what happened to you last night," he says as he uses the towel to dry out his messy hair.

Blaise pulls out Draco's potions cauldron from his closet and sets it on the desk as well. I purse my lips when I see it.

"Why can't I just go to the hospital wing?" I ask as I eye Blasie. "With a real healer?"

"You hurt my heart, Weasley," Zabini says as he pulls a toothpick from his pocket and he puts it between his teeth while he works. "You really do."

"Discretion I think is best right now," Draco answers as he runs his hand up my arm again like he was petting me. "And besides, Zabini knows his stuff. Don't you, Blaise?" he says and Zabini nods his head.

"Of course," he says and he gives me a sly smirk that makes me doubt it. "Alright, just hold still then," he says as he takes out his wand.

My back stiffens a little when I see it pointed at my chest. Draco squeezes my shoulder reassuringly as Zabini kneels in front of me and scans his wand over my body. He's whispering a spell through his lips that makes the tip of his wand glow purple. After a few moments, a grouping of odd looking purple symbols appear glowing on his his wand. He frowns at them and stands up as I crane my neck to see his wand better. He walks towards the desk and then opens that leather bound book to scan the pages.

Draco runs his fingers over my mess of a hair.

"What is it?" I ask as he flicks through the pages of that old looking book.

"It looks like..." he says and then he looks at Draco. I look at Draco too and then he says something I don't understand in a different language.

Draco answers back in the same foreign language and I clench my fists. How fucking annoying.

"Stop doing that," I hiss as I glare at both of them. "You know I don't know what you're saying."

"I know it's rude," Draco says as he starts petting me again. He nods towards Blaise.

"You have way too many magical things on you," Zabini explains as he looks down at his book. "Your body is overheating. Your magic can't balance all of it out."

"What magical things?" I ask sharply.

Blaise looks at the symbols glowing on his wand again. "You have two magical objects that are full of spells," he says and I look up at Draco.

"Take off the necklace, Ginny," Draco says flatly. I clench jaw and grip the necklace my mother gave me.

"No," I say hatefully. "Take off this bracelet you gave me."

He sighs, like I was being tiresome and he kneels by my chair so his face is level with mine. "Take off the necklace," he orders again and I flick a glance at Zabini because we just had a talk about how "nice" Draco is to me. What a joke.

"No," I say again, a little more firmly this time around. "If I take it off my parents will never be able to find me," I tell him seriously and I move away when he goes to take the necklace off for me.

"You're a part of my family now," he says sharply, like I was starting to piss him off. "It's my responsibility to take care of you. The bracelet stays, the necklace goes," he snaps at me and I glare. He stares me down for a few moments before sighing and running his fingers along my jaw. "Just for now," he explains. "Until we find out exactly what happened yesterday. You don't have to throw it away or anything. Just take it off of your neck," he says softly as he studies my face. "The bracelet is a lot harder to take off," he adds.

I clench my jaw for a few seconds before letting him unclasp the necklace. He takes it and puts it in his pocket as Blaise goes back to reading his wand. "I want that back," I tell him as he stands again.

He nods then he turns back to Blaise. "A pureblooded witch can handle those things," he says as I stare at his pocket. Draco has a habit of not giving things back and I refuse to allow that to happen to my necklace. "A bonding and charmed object wouldn't make her system go so far out of it."

"You're right," Zabini says as he reads his book once more. "There's something more. The..." he trails off as he reads from the book and then he flicks his eyes to his wand again. "The Sangius Charm," he says and I frown because I don't know what that is. "And she also has a binding spell on her."

I watch Draco's face as his jaw tightens.

"Binding?" he says flatly, like he was angry, and Blaise nods, flicking his amber eyes to Draco.

"A very old one," he explains and they share a significant look before they both look at me.

"Fuck," I hear Draco say heatedly and then he goes to his bed, where he rests his hand on one of the posts. "The Sangius Charm...Does that explain the vomit?" Draco asks and I crinkle my nose as Blaise nods his head.

"Possibly."

"What would cause it to boil over now?" Draco asks with a frown and Blaise shrugs.

"Stress probably..."

"What is the Sangius Charm?" I ask carefully. I felt like I was intruding on something personal between the two of them, but damnit, it was my body! "And why is it on me?"

"It's a blood thing," Draco says dismissively like my question was unimportant.

"What type of blood thing?" I press even more.

"It goes along with the binding that's on you," he says and I furrow my brows.

"What's a binding?" I never know anything and it's frustrating.

I feel stupid all the time. I hate feeling stupid.

"It's like a promise," Draco says as he looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "The bonding would get rid of a binding," he says seriously.

"Unless it was an old and powerful binding," Zabini adds.

Old and powerful. I know someone old and powerful and I make a face as I think of Voldemort. "How do I get rid of it?" I ask and they both look at me. I stand up with the blanket still wrapped around me like armor. "How do I get rid of it?" I repeat.

Zabini looks at Draco and then back to me with a sinful smirk on his face. "How do you feel about maternity clothes?"

"Blaise," Draco hisses, making that smirk drop from his smug face. "Give her the potion and then you can leave."

Blaise nods. I watch him as he throws a few potions into the cauldron and then he warms it with his wand until it hisses. After a few moments, he dips a cup into it and hands it to me.

"What will this do?" I ask suspiciously. I don't want to just take an unnamed potion from Blaise freaking Zabini.

"It will help balance your magic so you don't overheat again," he says flatly and I glance at Draco as I bring it up to my lips.

I take a sip. It tastes like tea and I down it in a gulp as both boys stare at me closely. I hand the cup back to Zabini and he pours the rest of the potion into a clear container that he puts on the writing desk.

"For later," he tells Draco and my boyfriend nods his head with his arms crossed over his strong chest.

I watch Blaise pack up his things and when he leaves, Draco walks towards me. "Did that help?" he asks as he kneels down in front of me. I nod my head. I guess I don't feel as sick and he brushes some hair away from my face. " I think you should relax a bit, yes? I can start you a bath."

"I don't want to have a baby," I tell him, still reeling by Zabini's comment. I feel like I should tell him that right now. With my luck and the way Draco is, I probably wouldn't even know I was pregnant until I was holding the baby in my arms. "I will not have a baby," I tell him sharply to get my point across.

"I know," he says as he stands. "Neither do I. Not now anyways," he adds, giving me a warm smile but I just can't return it. He lets that smile fade and he looks out the window with a frown on his face. "I'll figure something out. This just kind of throws me off guard."

"It's Voldemort, isn't it?" I ask flatly as I stand up to follow Draco into the bathroom as he offers me his hand. "The binding spell?" I add.

"Who else would it be?" he asks as he walks towards the tub and he turns on the water.

"I hate my life," I mutter to myself as I lean against the counter. I don't even have anymore tears to cry and I shake my head angrily before turning to the sink and grabbing my spare tooth brush. I start brushing my teeth as Draco sits on the edge of the tub and watches my every movement like his life depended on it.

When my teeth are clean, I put the tooth brush back and take off the blanket. "Is the water ready?" I ask as I lay it on the counter and I turn to Draco.

He nods his head as he runs his fingers under the tap and he turns off the water once the tub is full.

I look at him for a moment. That cut I remember seeing on his face yesterday is gone and I figure he must have healed it while I was asleep.

He stands as I fiddle with the zipper of the skirt and he walks towards the counter, leaning against it with his arms crossed as he watches me undress. I don't even care. Draco is a voyeur when it comes to me taking off my clothes and I don't feel like fighting with him about it right now. I let the uniform fall into a messy pile on the floor and I shiver a bit when I'm left in my underwear. I glance at Draco once over my shoulder as he watches me with darkened eyes and I shake my head before turning back towards the tub and unhooking my bra.

"You have beautiful skin," he says, but I don't respond as I put my thumbs in the waist band of my knickers and pull them down.

I kick them to the side and step into the tub, trying not to be awkward about it because I have an audience right now.

Once I sink into the warm water, I sigh in relief because it feels so good. I rest against the back and close my eyes as I let my body relax. This was a good idea. It does feel good.

"I want to talk to you," Draco says and I crack my eyes open, looking at him with a raised brow as he walks back to sit on the edge of the tub.

I sigh.

"About what?" I ask as I pick up the soap bottle and I squirt some of it onto a wash cloth. I wash my face first to get rid of the make up, and the gunk, and the blood.

"About what I was speaking to my father about yesterday," he says as I start washing my shoulder. I wish he wasn't in here right now. There is nothing sexy about washing myself in front of him. I just want to relax and be ugly for a second. Can't he just let that happen?

"Okay," I say slowly.

He licks his teeth and then dips his hand down into the water, running his fingers over my leg. He keeps petting me today. It's kind of weird, actually.

"Odette was right when she said that the Dark Lord has noticed how fond I am of you," he says as his hand tightens around my knee.

"Alright," I say flatly, waiting for this to go some where.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way," he says, running his fingers along the inside of my thigh. "But we're going to have to break up," he says and my heart feels like it just dropped into my stomach.

I didn't think I'd ever hear that coming from him and my voice got caught in my throat.

"Not for real, obviously," he says when I sit up straight. "We're still bonded and we're still going to be together technically, but for the public, we're going to have to keep it on the down low. Rookwood and Umbridge have been telling the Dark Lord how... attached I am," he says flatly. "And he's seen it in my thoughts. You've been on the forefront of my mind lately and I think he knows it. I have to be seen courting other girls. I don't want you to be upset about it," he says, giving me a little smile. "You know where my heart lies and I know where you will lie every night," he says with a sinful smile in an attempt to be playful.

I bite my lip and draw my knees up to my chest so he can't touch me anymore.

"I..." I stop myself as I think about Rookwood. "Draco, the last time Rookwood took my blood, I told him that my husband told me not to. When he summoned the Dark Lord, they started talking about Harry and how close my family is to him. It was like they assumed I was talking about him instead of you." I sit up straighter as I think it through. "Obviously Rookwood knew we were together. We're always together and we touch in the hallways," I tell him and then I think about it with my eyes narrowed in thought. "And your father told Rookwood we were dating. Everyone knows we're together. Why would it bother him now?"

He's silent for a few moments and then he looks into my eyes.

"Odette wasn't the only one who was asked to look after you," he says flatly. "They were hoping I'd be able to turn your views so they fell in line with the Dark Lord's new regime. As you can see, I've been falling short on that order."

And there it was.

I felt like a bag of bricks were just thrown at my chest.

I sit in the bathtub, staring at him until the water turns cold.

After forever, I finally find my voice to speak. "Is that the only reason you started dating me?" I ask flatly, almost afraid of the answer.

"Of course not," he says.

Of course not.

I stand up and grab a towel, wrapping it around my body. The pathetic truth is that I would forgive Draco anything in the world if I thought he loved me as much as I loved him. With a breaking heart, I realize that I don't believe he does. Not anymore, not right now when the truth was staring me so strikingly in the face.

Blaise said that Draco uses everyone and he uses his charm to get what he wants... I glance at Draco's intense silver eyes again as I tighten the towel around my body. I just took a bath, but I never felt more dirty.

I shake my head and head towards the door, pushing him to the side.

He follows me into the bedroom.

"Then why?" I ask as I dig through the drawer that holds my spare things.

"You know why," he says to the back of my head as I quickly get dressed. I can't even look at him in fear of breaking totally.

"Because of my blood," I snap and when I'm dressed I look at him with a hand on my hip.

He sighs. "Don't be ridiculous," he says and I raise my brows. "You have been a perfect storm of everything I want and need. I won't feel bad about that."

"Right," I say and then I nod my head as I lick my lips. "You know, it won't be so hard to pretend to be broken up," I tell him as I gather my things from his drawer to take with me. If the Dark Lord told him to look after me, then there was no way he just wanted me on his own... if he found out he could use my blood for his stupid plans... then again, there is no way he just wanted to be with me for me. "Because I think it sounds like a good idea to spend some time apart right about now."

"Stop being dramatic," he says with an eye roll. "Everyone who matters will know that you're still mine and I will kill anyone who tries to take you from me," he says darkly and I glare.

He doesn't want anyone taking his golden ticket to Voldemort, is all. He could care less if I was just Ginny... no magic blood and of no importance to anyone.

"I'm not being dramatic," I snap at him. "You know, you use me for everything," I tell him, not sure if that's true, but I'm so angry it just feels right. "Even if you are nice to me," I say as I think of my conversation with Blaise. "This is a one sided relationship. I don't get anything from you."

"That's not true."

"Not the important stuff anyways," I tell him hatefully and he shakes his head, taking a step closer.

"Ginny, I love you. You know that. What more do you want?"

"I want to believe that you mean that, but the more I learn, the more I realize that you don't." He doesn't say anything to that. He just angrily shakes his head. "I used to write all the time," I tell him as I run a hand through my bangs in frustration. "I haven't even touched my notebook in weeks."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

I feel my shoulders slump a bit. "Exactly," I say softly as I hold out my hand. "Give me my mother's necklace," I snap. "Give it back now."

"If you wear it, you might get sick again," he says as he digs through his pocket to get it.

"Are you going to order me not to wear it?" I ask with an angry brow raised and he tilts his chin up with his eyes narrowed, but he doesn't say anything to that.

He he hands it to me and I snap it out of his grip.

"Bye," I tell him seriously as I get all of my things in order.

"Ginny," he says, stopping me before I reach the door. "Don't push me. I always get what I want in the end and Zabini was right when he said I could be ruthless. You don't want to find out just how ruthless I can be."

I look over my shoulder and level him with a cold glare. "Try me," is all I say and I see his glare turn cold as I go back to the door.

I leave his room and I don't even bother to look back.

The room of requirement is full of books today, and I run my fingers along the spines as I read the titles. They all seem to be year books, dating all the way back to the founding of the school. I wonder what year book would look like when photos weren't around and when I open an old looking book dating 1535, I see drawings in black ink.

How clever.

I shake my head and close the year book. Dust flies up and I sneeze before moving on. I spend hours, picking up random books and when I pick up one from the forties, my heart stops beating for a moment when I see Tom Riddle staring at me through the page. Head Boy, is written under his photo with all of his many accomplishments and I bite the inside of my cheek as I stare into the young Dark Lord's eyes.

I wonder what my life would be like with a person... a monster... like him. What if Draco or Harry don't succeed in their plans? I shudder to think of it. I rip the photo of Tom out of the year book and fold it over, putting it in my pocket as I continue down the rows. I fiddle through a few other year books before I find a photo of Draco from last year, on his broom out on the Quidditch pitch in the sports section. He looks handsome in it, like always, and my heart aches to see him. I love him. I don't think that feeling will ever go away no matter how sad and angry I get. I tear that out as well and place it with Tom's. There are a few large chalk boards on the walls and I walk towards one with soft steps. I take out the pictures I had taken and tack them on the opposite ends of the green board.

I pick up a piece of chalk and write my name in the middle.

Tom wants my blood.

I draw a line from Tom to my name. Draco wants to kill Tom. I draw a line from Draco to Tom. To kill Tom, Draco needs my blood. I draw a line from me to Draco. I know Harry Potter. I write his name on the board and draw a line from him to me. Tom hates Harry. Another line. Draco hates Harry. Another line. Harry is like family. I write my surname on the board to represent everyone and I draw a line from Harry to Weasley. Draco was the last person to have my password. Another line. Death Eaters invaded my home, taking my parents. Another line. Draco's friends are bonded to him as well. Another line.

Draco is a hardcore pureblood. I write that down and make another line. So is Tom. Another line. Why does Draco want to kill Tom if they believe the same things?

His blood isn't even pure.

Draco said that to me once and I make another line connecting me and that word. My blood is pure. Draco's blood is pure. Tom's blood is...

..Filthy muggle name...

I shiver when I hear Tom's voice in my head. I don't remember much from my time in the chamber, my therapist said that I blocked most of it out to protect myself from something... She said one day I might remember it all when I'm ready or some rot like that, but every once in a while I can feel it all sitting there in the corner of my mind, just waiting for me to find it.

I write down impure on the board.

I draw a line to Tom.

I spend the better part of an hour, drawing lines from different things that connected the three of us together and when I was finished, I stood back to look at it with the chalk lying loosing in my hand.

It looked like a tangled web.

A tangled web of lies and actions and desires.

I take a seat on the floor as I stare at the mess I created.

I think I've known it all along, but right now I was faced with a very bitter realization. No one actually wanted me. When I fought with Hermione before she left, I had told her that I was never any ones number one, and that was still true. I was never with out love in my family, but being the youngest of seven children meant that the love and affection was divided. All I ever wanted was to be in love with someone who loved me just as much.

Tom never loved me when I was eleven. He just used me to get what he wanted.

Hermione was only my friend because my mother refused to let her sleep with the boys when she came over. She used me as a companion when they weren't around.

Dean always ditched me for Seamus when we were dating and it never really bothered me until now I guess. He didn't love me and I never loved him. Things might have been different if he actually put me first.

Pansy and Daphne were only friends with me to please Draco.

Draco...Draco used me for so many things and I truly thought for a moment there that he truly loved me even though the truth was staring me in the face this whole time.

I'm so stupid.

I shake my head and stand up, dropping the chalk on the ground until it shatters.

I will not cry.

I walk out of the room and hike my bag over my shoulders. I take the stairs three at a time and when I reach the cold air of courtyard. I put up the hood of my cloak and walk towards one of the benches. I take a seat and pull out my notebook. Theodore Nott and a few other pureblooded boys are under the archway smoking something that seems illegal because they're all sharing the cigarette thing and they're looking around them with shifty eyes.

Ugh, jerks.

I roll my eyes and take out a pen as I open my book.

I will start writing again. I need to get back to myself.

I just... can't stop thinking of Draco and everything I love and hate him for. It's so frustrating! I can't think of anything new or creative and with an irritated growl, I go the the beginning of my notebook in hopes of finding some inspiration.

I start reading through older stories I had written and I bite my lower lip as I scratch out some sentences with my pen and add a few words here and there...I always let Draco edit my homework because I hardly cared about half my subjects and he was so smart he always added things to make my papers better, but I shouldn't have let him do that. If I wanted to write, then I should have gotten it together and actually tried my best instead of constantly relying on him all the time. I sneer as I scratch out a misspelled word and I write the correction above it as a shadow falls over me. I blink a few times before looking up.

"Luna?" I say with my brow raised.

She is looking awfully pale today and her blue cloak is hanging half off her shoulder, like she had thrown it on as an after thought. In her hands is an open envelope and I eye it curiously.

"Can I sit with you for a moment?" she says as she takes a seat beside me.

I nod my head. Although, it hardly mattered. She was already sitting anyways.

"How's it going?" I ask as she looks over at Theo who's still smoking and laughing with his friends.

"Not very well," she admits and I glance at her. Her hands are shaking and she's breathing oddly.

"What's wrong?" I question. Luna has been acting odd for a while now, but I've been too wrapped up in my own problems to find out too much. I haven't even told her Draco and I have 'broken up' but I suspect she knows because I've been eating all my meals in my room and avoiding his friends at all costs.

It kind of hurts my feelings that she hasn't asked what's wrong with me yet... but I don't even know why I care. I should realize by now no one really cares about me... even after I divulged everything to her.

She hands me the envelope and I take out the letter. It has an official ministry seal on it and I frown as I unfold it. "What is this?" I ask as I read the heading.

To whom it may concern...

That's how it starts and Luna's fingers start shaking again. "I can get my father out of Azkaban," she says in a hopeful voice. As my eyes scan the page, I realize how try that is. "They said that he's only a threat level yellow blood traitor and if I can pay that fee, they'll set him free."

"Well, that's good news," I tell her, giving her a half smile because my whole family is in there and I never received a damn letter like this.

"But that's a lot of money," she says and I nod as I look at the total they asked for.

"This is a great deal," I admit softly.

"They froze my father's Gringotts account and I never saved anything from when I worked at Folk Hills. I spent it all on art stuff," she says with her wide eyes pale against the sun.

I look down at the paper again.

"I was wondering if you could ask Malfoy to lend me the money," she says and my head snaps to hers. "I could pay him back," she says quickly and I narrow my eyes a bit when I realize she didn't even notice how bad off I've been these past few days. "I just don't know what to do. That could get him out of that terrible place," she says with tears swimming in her eyes and she looks at Theo again. "He's the only family I have."

"Draco and I broke up," I say sharply and her jaw drops a bit. Hmf. She goes to ask me about it, but I stop her before she can. "I can give you the money," I tell her flatly.

"But.."

I stand up and my hood falls back. "I have enough money in my savings account," I tell her as I put my notebook in my bag. Since Draco's family covered the cost of my tuition this year, my account remained untouched. I have just enough to cover this amount. "I won't be able to go to that stupid writing retreat anyways," I say sharply. "It was a stupid dream and I can't write a damn thing anymore, so you can have the money."

"But..." she says again as she stands up. "What if you could get your family out?" she asks and I swallow hard.

"If that's the amount, I can only afford one," I tell her softly. "And I never received a letter like that."

"We could ask," she says as she reaches out to touch my arm.

I shrug it off.

"There's a mail desk just outside of the castle now. That's where I got this letter," she says as she motions to it. "A man works the desk. I think his name is Sean, and Umbridge's office is in the back. Maybe they would know."

"Would that make you feel better about taking the money?" I ask flatly.

She doesn't say anything, but I assume that's what it is anyways.

I let her lead the way as I follow her outside of the castle grounds. We pass that weird wooden cabin where all the muggle born students have been kept and I stare at it through narrowed eyes as I throw up my hood again. I wonder what they do in there? I wonder what they learn and what they talk about... Just beside that is a new brick 'mail' building of some sort that has a perch for owls at every window.

There are birds all over the roof and on the window sills and I can see wizards in green robes off in the distance, shooting down owls as they try to carry letters to the castle.

I shake my head at it and turn to Luna to follow her inside. "It's sad that we can't even read our own owls," I admit and she nods her head as she holds open the door for me.

There's a small waiting room and a counter that a short man with a round nose is behind. He's sorting through letters that have already been opened and putting them into different mail slots. I assume that's Sean.

"Hi there," Luna says as she approaches the man. He turns and looks at her, one of his eyes is a milky white and the other is a dark brown. It makes him look a little terrifying. "I have a question about the letter I received," she says as she puts it on the counter. Sean looks at it and then back to her.

"Yes?" he says in a grunt and I press my lips together as he itches his stomach.

Charming.

"I was wondering if this would work for all prisoners?" she says, sparing me a little glance. "Like for a member of the Weasley family perhaps?"

"Of course not," A sugary sweet voice from the back answers and I crinkle my nose as Umbridge walks towards the counter from the doorway in the back. She has a stack of opened letters in her hand and her pink heels are tapping annoying against the floor. "The Weasley's are threat level red blood-traitors. They will never be leaving Azkaban," she says sharply as she hands the stack to the man. "Sort these for me, will you?" she says and the man gets right to it. Sorting through the names and putting them them in the slots along the wall like his life depended on it.

"Even my mother?" I say as I take a step closer to the counter. Umbridge is wearing a pink tweed dress and matching jacket that makes her look like some kind of couch cover... an unattractive, lumpy couch cover. "She's threat level red?" I say sarcastically. "She's a housewife. How can she be that dangerous?"

"I don't make the rules, Miss Weasley," she replies with her toad like face scrunched up in disdain. "I just follow them."

"Right," I roll my eyes and she glares. I don't even care. "Am I allowed to pay for this?" I ask as I thrust Luna's letter at her. She reads it with her cold eyes narrowed and when she's done she looks at me with a questioning brow raised.

"You want to pay this?" she says and I nod my head as I dig out my pen from my bag again. "This is a great sum of money, you realize."

"I know that," I snap.

"It is my understanding that the Weasley family has never been of great means," she says and I give her a glare.

"Can I pay for it or not?"

"I would watch the attitude if I were you," she says and I make a face.

"Or what?"

"You know," she says as she leans in closer so she can whisper. "You are this close," she says, holding up her thumb and forefinger to show me the distance. "To being sent to Azkaban for re-education. Just give us a reason."

I smile unpleasantly. "Can I pay for this, or not?" I repeat a little more sharply and she leans back, giving me a surveying look.

"You can," she says as she shows me the back of the form that has a space for a Gringotts number and signature for payment. "But if the payment bounces, you have to pay the charge fees."

She's such a bitch.

I shake my head, but don't say anything as I fill out the form. Once it's finished and I sign on the agreement line, she grabs it form me and looks it over like she was checking for any mistakes. I watch her with my brows furrowed as she stuffs it into a new envelope and whistles for an owl.

I think of my family rotting away in Azkaban and I think of Voldemort because he's the reason for it.

I hate him.

"Can I send out a letter?" I ask quickly before she can disappear again.

"To whom are you sending it to?" she asks as she blinks a few times.

I don't say anything right away as I take out my note book and I tear out a page. Luna hovers beside me, but I ignore it as I jot down a quick letter full of requests. I have something he needs, then he should give me something I want, right?

It's worth a try.

When I'm finished, I hand it to Umbridge and she rolls her eyes before scanning the page. Then a little smirk graces the corner of her mouth.

"The Dark Lord does not read such letters," she says as she goes to throw it away, but I grab it from her.

"Just send it to someone who will read it," I tell her because it's worth trying for. My family shouldn't be in jail. Especially not my parents. They're harmless. "I don't care who reads it as long as it's someone who might be able to do something about it."

"This is just ridiculous."

"Send it," I demand with a little more bravado. "Or the next time I see him, I will tell him that you denied my communication to his staff."

She glares at me for a while and I suppose she saw that as a sufficient threat because she stuffed it in an envelope and whistled for another owl. "Send this to the Ministry complaint department," she says while giving me a nasty smile.

I don't even bother saying thank you and I put my pen behind my ear as I watch the owl fly away. After it's gone, I give Umbridge one more hateful look before taking Luna's arm and walking back outside. When the door closes behind us, Luna lunges at me and hugs me tightly around the neck.

"Thank you, Ginny," she says against my hair. I don't move for a second and then I hug her back with a vengeance with my eyes slammed shut. I didn't realize how much I've needed a hug and I hold on to her for a few selfish moments before she pulls back. "You're the greatest friend ever. I swear I will pay you back... or try to, at least," she says as she blinks back tears.

"You're welcome," I tell her with a little smile. I'm glad I could do something good for someone. It makes me feel a bit better.

I start walking back towards the castle and Luna follows. "So, what did that letter say?" she asks as we walk. "The one you had Umbridge send out for you?"

I lick my lips. "It doesn't matter," I say with a shrug and she grabs my arm, making me look at her.

"I know things haven't been very good between us," she says with a head nod. "We've both been stupid," she admits. "But you can tell me things, Ginny. You've trusted me with so much already. Don't stop now."

I stare at her for a while before walking again. She follows. "I wrote..." I trail off uncomfortably and look at her from the corner of my eyes. "I said that if they didn't release my family from Azkaban... then I would kill myself."

"Oh, Gin," she says softly, like she felt bad for me. "You wouldn't actually... do that would you?"

"Of course not," I say, only half lying.

We don't speak to one another as we go into the castle and we head straight towards the Great Hall. I'm hungry and since Luna and I are speaking again, I don't think I'll have to eat in my room because I'll have a buffer between myself and Draco.

When we get to there, it's already crowded with students and I let my hood fall back down as I follow Luna to the very end of the table where no one is sitting. I take a seat, ignoring the heated gaze that I know is following me and I look at the empty plate for a few moments before piling food on top of it.

I start eating the mashed potatoes as I glance around the room. I find Neville sitting with the other re-educated student and I hold my spoon against my lips as I squint my eyes. Seamus is sitting beside him, staring a head of him with eyes as dead as a zombies and I feel my lips turning down as I stare at them.

What happened to them at Azkaban?

I focus on Neville again and I remember my lessons with Draco as I reach into my bag and take out my wand. I hold it on my lap and whisper a spell as I stare intently at him, trying to dive into his mind. All I see are doors, locked doors with numbers on them and I hear a boy's scream coming from one of the rooms. I try to open it, I really do, but I just can't make it budge, so I get on my knees to look through the key hole.

I can see Neville laying on a leather chair and there's a wizard in a white coat hovering above him with his wand above his head.

"Ginny."

I'm pulled out of Neville's thoughts and I blink a few times before glancing up at Daphne. She gives me an uncomfortable smile.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I tell her as I put my spoon down. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she says and she sends a little look to Luna. "I just noticed, you know, that you haven't shown up to any of our cheer practices."

"Oh," is all I say.

"Yeah... you know, you kind of have to go to the practices to be on the team."

"Hm," I say as I go back to my food.

I glance to my left once and my eyes catch Draco's. He's looking at me with his jaw set in a line and his eyes slightly narrowed.

I try to block my mind.

I don't want him spying on me.

"It's just that, it's not fair to everyone else who actually shows up," she says and I ignore her as I go back to playing with my food. "I mean, I know you and Draco are kind of fighting right now," she says in a whisper like she didn't want anyone to over hear and I glance up at her as she leans over the table. Her beautiful blond hair almost dipping into a bowl of spaghetti. "And its okay to take a few days off," she adds as she sends a sideways glance down the table, down to Draco. "But you have to at least show up sometimes."

"Why don't you just kick me off the team?" I say as I go back to my plate. I tap my fork against the steak. ""I hate that uniform anyways," I mutter under my breath and when I look up again, she looks hurt... like I had personally insulted her.

I feel bad, but I don't know how to fix it, so I keep messing with my food.

"Ginny," she says softly and I look at her again because her voice sounds so pleading. "You can talk to me, you know," she says, glancing at Luna like she was intruding on something important. Luna must notice because she fidgets uncomfortably by my side. "If you need anything... or... you know."

"Yeah," I say. "I know."

"Good," she says and then she nods her head. She reaches into her pink purse and she hands me an opened black envelope. "I was supposed to give this to you at cheer practice yesterday... but you never showed up."

"What is it?" I ask. I wipe my hand on my napkin before taking it from her.

"An invitation," she says as I take out the card and open it. "The Malfoy's are having a Halloween dinner next weekend," she says as I glance over the invite. "You're required to attend."

I flick a glance at Draco and quickly look away when his eyes find mine.

"Required?" I say harshly because I don't like that word.

She nods her head. "It's not just some fluff dinner," she says as she looks at her friends on the other end of the table. "A lot of important people are going to be there, and you have to go."

"Why do I have to go?" I ask with a brow raised. "Because of Draco?"

She shakes her head. "No... because of the... other one," she says uncomfortably and I swallow hard. I know who that is. "Some of us will be there," she says, trying to give me an encouraging smile. "So you won't be alone with all those old people."

"Who all is going to be there?"

"A lot of people," she says with a smile. "Mrs. Malfoy is going to take care of your hair and make up, of course," she says like it would go with out saying. "She's coming early to pick us all up."

"What if I don't want to go?" I say softly as I look down at the envelope.

"You have to go," she says gently, like she didn't want to say it. "Rookwood is going to make sure you attend."

At the mention of that fool's name, I shake my head and stuff the invitation back in the envelope.

"I guess I have to go then, right? Because I don't get a say in anything in my life."

She gives me a sad look before trying to smile. "I'll see you there, then," she says before nodding her head and walking towards her group of friends. I watch her go and when she takes a seat by Pansy, she shrugs her shoulders and starts talking to her with a serious tilt on her face.

A lot of important people will there, she had said. I bet he will be there.

The Great Hall doors open and I look towards them with my brows raised in surprise. A few men in black robes enter with their wands drawn and very serious looks on their faces.

I know those men.

They pull the kids out for re-education and I feel my heart hammering as they check a long list that the woman is holding. All the students are watching them with wide eyes as they scan the room.

They pick out three people who fight the whole way.

A boy named Harmen Dodds who's father was a muggle gets dragged away. A girl with a black stringy hair who has a rather loud mouth when fighting in the halls get pulled next, kicking and screaming the whole way out... and then my breath stops when they grab Theodore Nott.

"What are they doing?" I hear Luna hiss as they pull him out of his seat. She stands up. "What are you doing!" she screams and I try to pull her down so she wont call attention to herself and make her the next target.

"Sit down," I whisper harshly. I had never seen them take students so publicly like this, but I guess there had to be a reason for it. A warning of some sort.

Theo was yelling at the men. Demanding that he be let go and wanting to speak to his father. I was holding Luna back as they dragged him towards the doors and then I saw him look down my table, at Draco, like he would be able to stop this.

"Please, no," I heard him say pleadingly and I did feel a little bit bad for him despite what a terrible person he was. "Please do something! I'm sorry!"

I glance down at Draco. He was watching his friend being carted off like it was nothing and he takes a drink from his glass before going back to his meal like the yelling didn't bother him in the least bit.

Zabini, on the other hand, smiles at Nott and waves to him before the doors are shut. An eerie silence falls over the hall after that display and I bite my lip, completely losing my appetite. Blaise looks down at me and raises his glass before taking a drink.

I look away quickly and feel sick.

"Why did they take him?" Luna sobs by my side and I try to pull her to me to comfort her, but she pushes me away. "You have no idea," she says as she stands up. "You have no idea how terrible my year has been!" she screams at me before running out of the hall.

My ears burn as everyone looks at me and I push my plate of food away.

She thinks she had a bad year.

I shake my head angrily and I clench my jaw shut. Now I'm alone.

I should have just ate in my room.

I look at Neville again just to do something instead of looking like a pathetic loser.

My family is in Azkaban... re-education students get sent there first. I put my chin in my hands and frown as I think it through. That letter I sent today, what if I don't get a response... or what if they just tell me no? I don't want to kill myself. I'm miserable, but I've never been that miserable. I don't want to die... but I can't keep living life like this... or waiting for things to happen to me that are outside of my control. Will I ever see my family again? Umbridge said I was so close to being sent to Azkaban for re-education... and didn't Odette mention something along those lines? I blink a few times as I try to remember it. I was feeling terrible, so I can only recall bits and pieces of her conversation with Draco.

Draco.

I think of the way he controlled the fiend fyre curse in that odd room in his home.

Fiend fyre would get someone's attention.

And it would definitely get me sent to Azkaban... I might even be able to kill some people with it. Not that I want to... but if worse comes to worse... I hate thinking that way, but I can't help it.

I look at Neville once more as I think of my parents. My mother must be so distraught right now. They all must be... I want to see them again and right now there seems to be only one way.

I stand up quickly and head out of the Hall.

I practically run towards Draco's room and when I slide in front of his door, I say his password. I'm relieved that it never changed and when I get inside, I close the door quickly behind me. I put my bag down and go towards his bed. I get on my knees and crawl under to get his potions kit where his Prometheus project is hidden. If I can get the formula for that fiend fyre curse, then I can try to figure it out before that dinner.

I find it resting against the wall, by the head board, and I crawl even further under the bed to get to it. I snap my feet under the bed when I hear someone at the door and I hold my breath when it opens and someone, I'm assuming Draco, steps inside. I close my eyes as his shoes tap along the floor and when he's right by the bed, I crack open my eyes. I can see his polished shoes by the bedside table and I know he's taking off his watch and laying it there. That's what he always does when he first walks into his room.

I hold my breath because he doesn't move for a few seconds, and then his footsteps carry him away to the bathroom. When that door closes, I let out a breath and fidget with his potions kit to quickly take out his folder and notebook. I go to stuff it in my bag, but I stop when I remember I put my bag down by the bed.

Fuck.

The bathroom door opens and I clench my eyes shut again as Draco walks around the bed. He pauses another second and then I nearly scream when he grabs my ankle and pulls me out.

"What are you doing?" he asks as he hovers above me. He looks at the folders I have in my hand and then to my eyes. "Ginny, what the hell?"

What now?

I lick my lips and get up on my knees as he gives me a suspicious look. I put the folders and notebook on the floor and I bring my hands up to his belt buckle. I feel wrong doing this, but I have no other way to distract him. He always uses sex to distract me and it always works.

"Ginny," he says gently as he stops my hands with his own. He grabs me by the arms and pulls me to my feet. "What are you doing?" he whispers as he brings his hand up to my face.

"I don't know," I admit as I take his hand and kiss it.

He frowns.

"Gin," he says softly as I look up at him. He shakes his head sadly and then he runs his knuckles over my cheek. "I know you're upset," he says softly. "I wish I could say something to make things be okay again, but I know you're too angry to listen right now."

I don't say anything to that. I just stare at his throat as he cups my cheek.

"Why were you under my bed?" he asks, sending a look down at his folder.

I don't say anything and he nods his head, like he found out his answer anyways.

"You're sad," he points out and I nod my head because it was true. I was sad. I'm sad all the time. "I know you're upset with me," he says as he leans down so his face is closer to mine. "Let me make you feel better," he says and I look down. "That's the only thing I know how to do right, it seems," he says gently.

I look down at the folder again and then back to Draco. Distraction and addiction seem to be my motivating factors right now. I nod my head and lean up to press a kiss against his lips. I haven't touched him all week and it felt so good to be by him again. He was like a drug to me that I couldn't shake and I almost felt high when his hands found purchase on my waist. He smirks against my lips and thinks he's victorious. When I pull him down on top of me and he looks down at me with relief in his eyes, I feel like I was the one who won.

We spend the better part of the afternoon having sex.

He was being really gentle with me and at some point I nearly forgot why I was upset in the first place. There were no rough hair pulls or painful bites, and even though those things always turned me on when Draco and I were intimate, it was really nice just to be vanilla for a while. His words were soft and sweet and his kisses were feather light as he danced his lips across my body. I almost started crying, actually, as pathetic as that is.

He was saying the nicest things to me, telling me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. He even used the word gorgeous once, which I thought was a nice touch and I smiled at him, a real smile, as our bodies worked against each other. I know Draco always prefers rougher sex and deep down, so do I, but this was nice. This was almost perfect. Instead of biting, he was kissing gently. Instead of gripping, he was caressing softly. It made me remember why I loved him so blindly.

Through the haze of lust and the high of climax I could actually believe that he loved me for just me. Nothing attached. No blood, no binding, nothing of importance... just me.

I was disappointed when we were finally finished, because that meant that reality had to set it.

And set in it did.

I stare up at the ceiling as Draco smiles lazily down at me with his head propped up with his hand. I close my eyes and turn my back on him, feeling guilty and bad and... kind of good... in an odd way. I shake it off as Draco folds himself around me, leaving open mouthed kisses on my shoulder after he moves my hair out of the way.

"Now I'm tired," he says in a deep voice and despite all I'm feeling, I smile.

He rests his head against mine and relaxes his body. He's getting comfortable, but I can't. I'm fighting with myself, wanting to turn over and kiss him, talk to him, love him... I want to believe he always has my best interest at heart and that he wanted me even before knowing anything about... everything that made him want to date me. I clench my jaw again and try to shake it off. I'm almost obsessed with Draco and his affection and I hesitate a moment before turning around to face him and placing a kiss on his lips.

I'm like an addict who always comes back to just one hit.

"I think I'm going to take a nap," he says with a smile as he closes his eyes.

I stare at his face, studying every tilt and line. Draco once told me that love was a weakness in an ambitious man. I wonder if it came down to it, would he choose me over those mysterious ambitions that he has? Is it even fair to ask that question?

"Are you that tired?" I ask softly.

"I haven't been sleeping much," he says as he brings a hand up to his face and he rubs his eye with the heel of his palm.

"Why?" I question as I bite my lower lip.

He cracks his eye open. "Really?" he says sarcastically as he looks down at me and I turn away uncomfortably. Right. Me. Or I'm selfish enough to assume that, anyways. "I don't sleep much anyways," he admits with a sigh as he props his head up again so he's hovering over me. "I have a lot on my mind."

I nod and pull the covers up to hide my naked chest.

"Speaking of minds," he says as he taps his fingers against my stomach. I glance at him. "You have been keeping yours particularly well protected."

"I've been practicing," I admit and he smiles at me.

"Clever girl," he says as he runs his finger tips up my bare arm. "Although, I have to admit that I miss being able to easily dip into your mind whenever I want. You have some of the naughtiest thoughts," he says with a sinful smirk as he cups my breast. I laugh a little and grab his hand, pulling it away, but holding his hand just because I like touching him and being close to him so much.

I hate how conflicted I am and I frown as lay my head on the pillow, staring at him some more like a creep. I look at his hair and bring my hand to tame some of the more unruly places as he smirks down at me with that smug look on his face. I give him a warm smile as I comb my fingers through his hair. It's a very light blond... like Luna...

I frown when I think of her.

"Why did they take Theo?" I ask and he lets that smug smirk drop. "At lunch... why did they take him for re-education?"

"There are only so many strikes a person can have against them," he says. I furrow my brows and I chew on my lip. I fiddle with the edge of the cover as I look at him.

"Luna was distraught," I tell him as I think of her panicked face before she left me in the hall. I should have followed her to see if she was okay. I realize that now, and I mentally scold myself for it... but I'm just so out of it lately. "She loves him, no matter how terrible he is," I say as I crinkle my nose.

"Funny how that works out," Draco replies seriously and I glance at him.

"She told me I couldn't even understand the terrible year she's having," I say with a snort as I bring my hand up to my mouth so I can chew on my nails. "She has no idea," I mutter, but Draco pulls my hand away from my mouth.

"To be fair," he says as he brings my hand up to rest against his neck. "I never made you turn into a guy when we fucked. I think that allows her to go off the deep end a few times this year," he says and I smile a little. I guess that's true. "Think of all the therapy she'll need," he says teasingly and I smile again before becoming more serious.

Obviously there is no love lost between me and Theodore Nott. I never liked him, but I don't know if anyone deserves that fate.

"What will they do to him?" I question softly.

"What they do to all of them," is all he says and then he glances at me.

"But why?" I press again. "I thought he was under the all powerful Malfoy umbrella of protection," I say and he smirks at the name before scooting even closer to me so his body is pressed right against mine. His breath makes my bangs flutter.

"He had his chance," he says coldly as he tucks his feet under mine. "And Zabini can hold a vendetta. It was only a matter of time."

I don't say anything to that.

"Daphne gave you the dinner invitation," he says as he drums his fingers against my skin.

I nod. "What is that about?" I question and he runs his nose along my cheek.

He's the one being overly affectionate now.

"My mother always has a Halloween dinner," he answers. "It's kind of what she's known for," he says with his brows raised.

"It's just like a Halloween party?"

"No one dresses up," he says. "But she always makes up these elaborate themes and she decorates the whole Manor. Witch Weekly photographs it every year," he says with an eye roll.

"Why am I invited?" I ask.

"Why wouldn't you be?" he asks and I frown.

"Because we're no longer 'together'," I say, nearly choking on the word and he cups my cheek.

"We're still together," he says. "I already explained that to you and being at the dinner will not be for my benefit. You're very popular right now," he says seriously and I frown.

"Will you be there?"

"I think that goes with out saying," he counters and I nod my head.

"Will you be courting other girls?" I question softly. The bitter sting of jealousy makes my head hurt.

"No," he says flatly, seriously, and I give him a grateful look. I don't know why it would bother me so much even if it wasn't real.

We lay in silence for a while before Draco speaks.

"Are you still angry with me?" he asks, studying my face with a critical eye.

I don't even know the answer to that. "I don't know," I say honestly as I start messing with the cover's edge again.

"I don't..." he trails off uncomfortably and I glance at him. Draco is never so uncomfortable. "I don't want you to think bad things about me," he admits and I tilt my head curiously as I turn on my side to face him more. "I've never cared what anyone thought of me," he says as he looks slightly over my right shoulder. "After our last fight I realized that there is one person's opinion that I care about," he says as he places his hand on my hip. "That person is you."

Is he just telling me what I want to hear? Is this his charm that he's using to keep me compliant. I hate that I don't know and I hate that I'm not brave enough to ask because I fear the answer.

"I don't want you to hate me," he says seriously with his eyes slightly narrowed.

"I don't hate you," I whisper and that was true.

He kisses me. I let him linger there and when he pulls back, he smiles a little. "Well, enough of that talk then," he says, changing the subject quickly as he rolls to his back, pulling me against his chest with the movement. "I have a funny story," he says and I lift my head up to give him an odd look because... well... it kind of seems out of character for him to say such a thing.

"Yeah?" I say softly. He nods his head and scratches chest.

"I saw Slughorn fall down the stairs this morning," he says and I furrow my brows.

His delivery could use some work.

"Was he okay?" I ask and he smiles a little as he looks at me.

"Yeah, he was fine. It was just funny because he had a stack of papers in his hand and Peeves threw something at him. When he fell, all of his papers went flying in the air." He makes a hand movement to show me how all the papers went flying around. "And he started cursing like I had never heard before. I didn't realize that old man had those words in his vocabulary." He smiles to himself and then he looks at me. "Isn't that funny?"

I nod my head and give him a smile. "Yes, that is funny," I tell him and he looks pleased.

It was kind of odd that he told me that story. He doesn't usually do little day to day talk like that, but I was kind of pleased that he did. It's like he was holding onto that story all day just to tell it to me... just because he thought I would like it. In a way, that's kind of sweet... I think.

A silence falls between up as he takes my hand and lines his palm up with mine. He studies the differences between them before bending his fingers down in a show of how much longer his hand is.

"I have something for you," he says and then he lets my hand drop as he slides out of the bed.

"What is it?" I ask as he pulls on his boxer briefs and walks towards his writing desk. I sit up and put the cover around me to protect my modesty.

"A gift," he says.

I tuck some hair behind my ear as he opens one of the drawers and I frown a bit as I look at the bracelet he gave me. I'm not much of a fan of his gifts, actually.

Once he finds whatever he's looking for, he walks towards the bed and I furrow my brows as I see a book in his hands.

"I know the rain ruined the nice one you had," he says as he takes a seat beside me and he hands me the leather bound notebook.

I remember that day... during the summer when he had beat that homeless man so viciously.

"I thought you would like a new one." I run my hand over the cover and swallow hard. "I saw you had that old spiral one the other day and you said something about not writing anymore..." he trails off and I open it to the first page where my name is printed in smooth calligraphy. "There are a lot of magical properties to this," he says as he taps his finger against the page.

"What kind?" I ask as I flip through the pages.

"It will edit your words and make suggestions as soon as you write a page," he says and I glance at him. "There's a dictionary... just write in the word on the first page and it will give you the definition and you can research things. It's like a little encyclopedia."

"Oh," I say as I blink a few times. "Thank you," I say gently. I lean over and kiss his cheek. "This was thoughtful."

"I'm glad you like it, babe," he says before leaning in to kiss me against the lips. He lingers there for a little bit before pulling back, giving me a boyish smile that I didn't really know he had.

I find it so hard to stay angry with him even though I have every reason to be upset, or suspicious. I just can't be strong when he smiles at me like that. It makes my heart warm over and I smile back, leaning in to give him another kiss.

"I know Rookwood is going to call on you for another donation in the coming weeks," he says and I furrow my brows as I pull back. "He'll probably make you sign a contract."

"What sort of contract?" I ask with a frown.

"I honestly don't know," he says. "I overheard it being talked about, but I think it will have to do with your future with the Dark Lord. A thing that will bind you from saying or doing certain things... I'm not sure but I wanted to give you a heads up so you weren't blind sided by it."

"Thanks," I reply seriously. Great, another thing for me to worry about.

He stretches himself on the bed, laying sideways as he looks at me with his silver eyes slightly narrowed. "Will you let me draw some of your blood today?" he asks.

Oh.

That dirty feeling is back.

"What exactly do you need it for?" I ask uncomfortably as I draw my knees up to my chest. I set the notebook on the bed side table and wrap my arms around my legs. Did he just give me that gift so I would do what he wanted?

My blood. It all goes back to that.

"I haven't been able to get the right formula," he says as he looks down at his covers. "But I know the ingredients. If your blood is what will sustain the Dark Lord's powers, then it only makes sense that it could be used to weaken them as well." I don't say anything to that, I just look at the window and take in the sky. It's gray, like Draco's eyes. "Do you mind?" he asks.

I shake my head and he smiles before getting off his bed again.

He gets his potions kit from under the bed and he ruffles through it until he finds a small case that has four syringes in it. I keep looking out the window as he sits beside me. I can see him preparing the needle and I feel my eyes watering a little. I guess it's because I just wanted to believe he wanted me instead of my blood.

"Do you not like needles?" he asks as he sits closer to me.

"Who does?" I say. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand as he takes my left arm and pulls it towards him so he can press the needle to my vein.

"Do you cry every time Rookwood takes your blood?" he asks softly as he presses the needle and I inhale a sharp breath. God, I hope he knows what he's doing.

"No," I answer honestly and he stares at me for a second before going back to the needle.

He takes a whole vial of blood and as he's labeling and putting it away, I cradle my arm to my chest.

"Now," he says as after he puts everything away. He gets back on his side of the bed and he pulls me to him so I'm forced to lay down."Let's take a nap."

He closes his eyes and listen to his heart beat as he drifts to sleep. After half an hour of just laying against him, staring at the wall, I crawl out of his arms and I pick up his notebook and folder, stuffing them in my bag before hiking it over my shoulder. I look at him again as he lays taking an after shag nap and I sigh sadly to myself. I do love him, after everything, and I walk back towards the bed and lean over, placing a gentle kiss against his cheek.

I feel so guilty. I know I shouldn't just leave him like this after we had been so intimate but I know if stay until he wakes... I'll never walk away from him again.

I can't let myself be that weak. I look at my arm again where he took my blood and I feel my jaw tighten.

I can't make up my mind on the matter and I'm so frustrated with myself.

I leave the room quickly just in case he wakes up and convinces me to forgive him and stay in his bed.

I can't be weak right now.

I shake my head and walk towards the abandoned girl's bathroom on the second floor where Moaning Myrtle is hovering about the stalls. When she sees me walk in, she smiles and giggles as I walk towards the sinks. I need a large space where no one will find me and I'm afraid I might ruin the room of requirement with the spells I'll be practicing. The chamber seems to be the best option.

"Where's that handsome blond fellow?" Myrtle asks in her squeaky little voice as she glides down to me in all her ghostly annoyance. "The one who drilled you good last time."

I give her a disgusted look and go back to the sink as I try to remember how to open the chamber. I walk around it with my fingers tapping against my lip as I try to remember how I got in and out when I was eleven. I try to ignore the pain in my heart over Draco. I can't just let myself be stuck in situations. I can change them.

"What is sex like?" she asks as she follows me about the sink.

"What is death like?" I counter and she's silent for a few moments before answering.

"Cold," she answers and I flick a glance at her. "Very cold. Your turn," she says as I look at myself in the mirror.

"For what?" I question in distraction as I try to remember some parsletongue.

"For your answer. What is sex like? It looks like it hurts... but it a good way judging by all the noises you were making."

"You shouldn't have watched us," I admit with my cheeks blushing red.

"What else am I going to do?" she snaps at me with her pale hands on her hips. "I'm dead!"

Solid point.

"Do you like it when he bites you?" she asks as she steps even closer to me. It's cold and it makes me shiver. "It looks sexy," she says with a little girl's giggle and I give her another irritated look. "And it looks like you like it. Oh, Draco," she moans with a hand on her chest and I narrow my eyes at her imitation of me. "I love you. Please don't bite me. Blah!"

"Just because you're dead doesn't mean you get to be a spying pervert," I tell her with clenched teeth and she giggles against her hand.

"I'm not a pervert! You're the one shagging your boyfriend in a girl's lavatory. I live here, you know!"

"Do you know how to open this?" I ask as I gesture to the sink, trying to get her away from talking about my sex life.

"Maybe I do," she says as she blink at me behind her horn rimmed glasses. "Maybe I don't."

"Do you?" I ask sharply as I turn to give her my full attention. "Or not?"

She doesn't say anything. She just smirks at me.

"Well?" I continue in a bitchy voice and she furrows her brows for a moment.

"How do you get all those good looking blokes to like you?" she asks as she floats away from me again to sit on top of one of the stall doors. She crosses her legs and puts her chin in her hand. "What do you do to get them to like you? Is it the sex? Are you easy? Olive Hornby was easy and she had lots of boyfriends."

I don't even know who that is and I narrow my eyes again.

"I'm not easy," I tell her sharply even thought what I just did with Draco made me feel pretty damn cheap.

"Are you wanting to go back down there to see Tom Riddle?" she asks as she blinks a few times with a frown. "You've been in here with him before, helping him do all those terrible things," she says in a tight little voice. "You know it's his fault..."

"That you're dead," I finish for her flatly. "I'm not going down there to see him."

She frowns and looks like she's about to cry as she hops off the stall and comes back towards me. "Tom Riddle was handsome too," she says as she looks me over. "He was terrible unfeeling boy, but very handsome and charming when he wanted to be, much like that blond boy who dragged you in here."

I know that all too well.

"If you help me open this I will tell you all you want to know about sex," I tell her as I look back at the sink.

"Everything?" she asks curiously and I glance at her. She's a ghost forever a teenager. I suppose sex would be a topic she would enjoy.

"Everything I can answer," I tell her seriously.

She smiles in excitement and looks back to sink. She whispers something in a hiss and the sink starts to move and change, revealing the entrance to the chamber. I smile and try to shake of the feeling of dread as I take timid steps forward. Mytrle follows me, but I don't even mind. I'm glad someone... or something... is with me just in case I have a panic attack or something. When I was little, just thinking of this place would send me into a fit. I close my eyes and inhale a sharp breath before walking even further in.

If I could have held a ghost's hand, I might have grabbed Myrtle's as I stared at the door that led to all of my childhood nightmares.

"Do you need me to open this door as well?" she asks with her tilted to the side. "A girl learns a thing or two after all these years, you know," she says with a laugh.

I just nod my head and I swallow hard as she hisses at the door until it opens.

The torches flame to life, revealing the inside of the large, frightening chamber that used to be home to one of the greatest beasts in history. I bite my lip as I take out my wand and I hold it in front of me like a fool as I take a few steps inside. It all looks the same to me. The large snake pillars still stand as proud and as dark as before and the statue of Salazar Slytherin is still as menacing as ever. The only thing that's changed is me. I'm not that frightened little girl enamored with a memory anymore.

I'm braver now. I'm stronger. Or, at least, that's what I like to think.

Myrtle floats around me like an orb of light as I walk further into the chamber, looking around me with worried eyes like Tom would hop out behind one of the pillars and try to kill me with his charm.

"Oh, would you look at!" Myrtle's excited voice makes me jump. I'm a bit on edge, honestly. She floats over behind one of the pillars and calls me over. "Come see this!" she calls and I look around me once more before following her.

I see a skeleton. A large skeleton that runs all along the wall. Vertebrae, ribs, a skull, and fangs... what's left of an old monster that Harry Potter killed. I guess that's another thing that's changed since I left.

"I'm glad that old beast is dead," she says as she spits, or looks like she spits, on the bones.

"Yeah," I say and then I blink a few times as I try to calm myself down. I can feel my breath starting to quicken, but I try to stamp that panic down. "You can go back to the bathroom now," I tell her, only half wanting her to leave. I take the bag off my shoulder so I can dig out the things I stole from Draco.

"Can't I stay?" she asks with her head tilted to the side. "You know, so we can talk about s-e-x?" she says, spelling it out like there was a child present. "You promised to answer my questions!"

"Fine," I say as I sit on my knees so I can open his notebook. "But you have to promise not to tell anyone what I'm doing."

"Oh, a secret," she says as she sits beside me with her chin in her hand. "How interesting. I can keep a good secret."

"Good," I tell her as I flick through the pages, trying to find something that resembles the fiend fyre curse.

"But you have to do something for me."

"Answer questions about sex, I know," I say, waving a dismissive hand and she frowns.

"No, not just that, you have to come visit me," she says and I send her a sideways glance. "Come talk to me sometimes... like a friend."

"A friend?" I question sarcastically.

She has got to be kidding me.

She nods her head, her dark hair falling over one shoulder. "I don't have any friends," she says with an exaggerated frown. "One time," she says and she blinks a few times like she was remembering it. "When I was alive, a group of girls from my house pretended to be my friends just to get information out of me about the boys I fancied," she says and I sit back to give her my full attention. "They told the whole school about the things I said," she says seriously. "They all laughed at me."

I hesitate a second before looking down. "I'm sorry," I tell her honestly. "That sounds terrible."

"It was terrible," she says and then she smiles at me. "I really hate girls," she says and I nod my head.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

A silence falls between and then she coughs. I don't even know why. She's dead, after all.

"So, what do you think?" she asks and I bite my lower lip. "About that deal?"

"Yeah," I nod my head. "Yeah, I think I can do that," I tell her and she smiles.

I give her an uncomfortable smile as well.

I feel bad for Myrtle now more than I ever did before. It must be lonely to be a ghost and I realize now how alike her and I are.

It makes me sad.

I hate being sad.
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Envy and Manipulations