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When There Is No War	By : lexiatel Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 6320 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor the characters, and I do not make any money doing this.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Jan: Just finished the chapter last night. Unforunatey, it will be chapter 16 before we see a little Remus/Sirius action again :(
Chapter Warning: Some graphical child abuse during this read as Severus remembers moments of his childhood.

Chapter 13: The Trapped and the Hidden
"What did you do to him?!" Sirius demanded, pushing Severus up against the wall in the hall once he had seen Andrew's state of mind.
Severus hardly noticed, he stood stoically, stuck in his own traumatic thoughts. The push he received only intensified the horrors running through his mind. He didn't feel the pain in his back as he had at the time when Tobias had thrown him against the door of his bedroom. It was such a force that the door had cracked and a hinge had snapped off.
"Look what you did, boy?" Tobias sneered. "You broke my door!"
At the time, he was only seven, and the pain had been unbearable. He had a bruise that lasted several weeks after that. He was rewarded with a blunt kick to his stomach for breaking the door with his body. His mother had healed him many hours later when she woke up after her own beating that the monster had given her because his beer hadn't been cold enough for him.
Severus didn't acknowledge Lily and James pulling Sirius away from him. He didn't even hear the wails of Harry who wondered what was going on and why everyone was either crying or shouting.
All he heard was his own child self whimpering, Andrew's crying, and the harsh words his father had screamed at him through the bottled up memories that he wished he could erase.
He didn't remember excusing himself in a quiet voice, and he didn't remember Lily trying to stop him. He didn't remember anything during that moment as he traveled through the horrors of his mind.
"It's our fault." His mother whispered, trembling. "We need to stop making him mad."
How can he not make Tobias mad when all he had to do was exist? The boy had thought.
"Where are you, boy?" Tobias demanded in another memory.
Severus was scrunched up in the laundry hamper. Tobias still needed to pound on the flesh of a human. His wife had already been a victim, left sprawled on the floor of the kitchen.
Severus stifled a whimper as Tobias staggered into the laundry room. "Come out now!" He commanded, kicking at anything in his way. The laundry hamper was one of those items.
"Please!" The child wailed out, balling himself on the floor, bracing for impact.
"Sev!" Lily's face broke into his nightmare. Her worried green, eyes pierced through his mind.
"Lily?" He croaked. His throat hurt. It burned, and his voice was hoarse. Why? It took a moment before he realized he was at his small home in Muggle London. His belongings were trashed everywhere, surrounding him and Lily. A bottle of firewhiskey had been smashed and pieces of glass and liquid mingled in a chunky puddle.
"Are you okay?" Lily asked breathlessly. She had her wand out, pointing it at him.
Severus touched his throbbing forehead. "What happened?"
"I followed you here." She said, cautiously stepping toward him. "You took one drink of that-" she pointed to the firewhiskey. "-before you threw up what you had swallowed and tossed the bottle against the shelf of dishes. Then you proceeded to attack anything and everything you could get your hands on, lost in a rage of thoughts. You were screaming the whole time." She set a hand onto his forearm, looking very concerned.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked alarmingly, a brick hitting into his stomach as he searched for any evidence of abuse on her.
Lily smiled. "No, of course not, Sev."
"Go back to Andrew." He ordered, making his throat scratch with a sting. He walked into his bathroom where the medicine cabinet was located and found a few potions he needed to take.
"Andrew has plenty of support." Lily told him at the doorway of the bathroom.
"He needs all he can get." Severus muttered before downing a bitter tasting potion that would temporarily ease his wandering mind.
"I think you need someone too, Sev."
"I can take care of myself, Lily." He said stiffly.
"Talk to me, Severus." She pushed, ignoring his last statement. "Tell me what happened."
Severus leaned over the sink as the threat of bile entered the base of his throat. He took a few deep breaths before looking into the mirror at the reflection of his best and practically only friend of sixteen years. He had accepted the fact that he couldn't have her for more than that. Now that she had a kid, there was no way he would take her from her family- if she had ever would decide to change her mind to be with him. He had settled on her friendship, which was better than nothing at all.
He tried the dating game; but no one could replace Her. He'd probably end up dying alone- something he really wasn't looking forward to.
Lily made everything better. She made everyone better. It was almost like she was some sort of angel sent from Above to change the world and make it better.
Talking to her helped him. He had done it plenty of times before. Talking to her helped ease his pain and horror. That's why he wanted Andrew to let it out. Andrew needed to talk about it. The sooner, the better. Sometimes a verbal release and a good listening ear was all you needed. Or rather, all you could do about something so awful.
"He tied me to the table..." Severus said slowly in a whisper. "The kitchen one." He added. "I could hear the belt smacking against his hand as he teased me with it." Severus closed his eyes, taking another deep breath to keep the vomit in place.
"'This is what you get for hiding from me.' He said to me." He stood up straight and turned to look at Lily. "Tobias pelted me over and over, ignoring my screams and pleas. He did it until I was so bloody, that it disgusted him. He nearly killed me."
Lily walked to him, hugging him tightly, and sobbed into his chest. He kept his own arms at his sides, though. He didn't mind Lily's touch, but Harry had been right, he wasn't a hugging person. He only accepted such from her. No one else.
"Worst of all, the neighbors were so used to it, none of them would offer to help. Not like it would have helped anyway. The school called the police many times over, but Mum was able to temporarily hide any and all markings. There was no proof."
They said nothing for a few moments, as Lily continued to sob, and Severus feeling awful for upsetting her.
"I don't know exactly what's going on with Audrey, but at least she got the kid out before it escalated." He sighed.
"She stopped requesting for potions a bit over two months ago, I have been really worried about her."
"I just wish I knew where she was." Severus said. "I would like to know if she's okay."
"Me too." Lily whispered.
* / *
"Alright, old man, I know you know where she is." Severus said. "Out with it!"
"And whom might this 'she' be?" Albus asked behind his desk, in his office at Hogwarts. "Lily?" His eyes shined brightly as he tried not to grin, knowing full well the young man had not meant Mrs. Potter.
Severus stiffened, annoyed that Albus would toy with him. "Don't patronize me, Dumbledore."
"Perhaps you should make yourself a bit more clear then, my boy."
"Fine." Severus growled. "Audrey Grady. Is that clear enough for you?"
"What about her?"
Severus knew Albus was hiding something. Audrey had specifically asked for the Headmaster to assist her with Andrew. But why not he or Lily? THEY are the ones that had kept her secret, THEY could have helped just as easily as Albus Dumbledore could have.
"I would wager my entire Prince fortune that you know more than you're implying. That you know where she is, and that;" Severus paused, sending him a dark look. "you knew the boy was troubled."
"Ah, that." Albus whispered, realizing he could not hold off any longer.
"Yes... That." Severus drawled. "And yet, you said nothing to no one."
"I am sworn to secrecy, Severus. Forgive me. Will that be all?" His white eyebrows raised in a challenge.
"Don't give me that shit!" Severus snapped, ignoring the warning. "You don't make unbreakable vows, and I know it!"
Albus overlooked Severus' outburst and absent-mindedly stroked the fiery feathers of his phoenix, Fawkes.
Severus sighed, when the Headmaster refused to say anything more. "I want to know, Albus; does she actually plan on returning?"
"You also know more than you imply, Severus." The man said without looking at him. His eyes then moistened before he blinked them dry.
"Well, Lily and I- we'd like to know how she's doing. We've been helping her."
Albus finally looked at Severus again, a faint smile spread across his lips; one Severus nearly missed. "I know that. I was the one that suggested the two of you to her."
"And now it seems she's disappeared off the center of the Earth." Severus tossed up his hands in frustration. "Lily's worried. I'm worried. And that kid- Andrew, he needs his mother."
"You will all just have to wait and see, then, my boy."
"For what?"
"Think about it, Severus." Albus said seriously. "If she's not taking your potions, what do you think she is doing?"
It took Severus several moments before he understood. "Are you saying that I could easily find her then?"
"I will pretend I did not hear that." The old man said innocently. "Lemon Drop?"
- 12
- 13
- 14
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When There Is No War