In a Lifetime

In A Lifetime
Chapter 14: Reasons Are Not Excuses

Disclaimer: I own nothing of what you’re about to read, with the possible exception of the plot, although I’m sure it’s been done before. The places, characters, etc. belong to JK Rowling. Thanks.

A/N: This chapter has little to do with Hermiond Sed Severus, however, since they drive the story, rest assured that they have more story to tell in the next few chapters. I am planning a continuation of this fic, one that follows the life that Ginny chooses to lead, and some of this fic is used to set up the next fic.

I would also REALLY like to thank the continued support of all those who have read and reviewed. I appreciate it more than you know!


Albus Dumbledore shut the door to his office after ushering Ron inside. He turned to look at the youngest Weasley male, the customary twinkle in his eye having become an angry flashing.

“How DARE you enter the Great Hall of this institution of learning and insult my staff in front of the faculty and students?” he said quietly, fire emanating from his eyes, “By saying what you did about Severus, you not only insulted my potions master, you insulted my family. Yes Mr Weasley, I consider Severus and Hermione to be my family. And then I find that you’ve known what happened to Remus on that battlefield all those years ago and never came forward to tell anyone? You knew he was taken by Death Eaters? You didn’t lift a wand to help the man who saved your life again and again? You just let him be taken and never told anyone? You KNEW that Severus spent three years of his life searching for Remus, not knowing if he was dead or alive and you could have at least have let us know that he was taken. What is your excuse? What is the reason for your actions? I would like to know, Mr Weasley.”

Ron sat in the chair looking at the floor, unable to meet the eyes of the headmaster. He attempted to maintain the cocky look he had worn in the Great Hall but his lower lip began trembling in spite of his effort. He lifted his head, finally making eye contact, his pale brown eyes watery.

“I was scared,” he spat out, “I was 17 years old, Sir. Standing on a battlefield surrounded by the dead and dying, Death Eaters hurlinfornforgivables. I was terrified. I saw Remus go down. I wanted to help him. I knew it wasn’t the Killing Curse, the green flash was different from that one. But I didn’t know what to do. There were too many Death Eaters, too many enemies. I was afraid to make things worse. I was a coward. Is that what you want to hear? That I was a coward who allowed Remus Lupin to be taken? Because that’s what I was.”

Albus sat back in his chair, steepling hingerngers as he watched the emotions pass over Ron’s face. He allowed Ron to continue without saying a word.

“I should have been the I s I should have stood next to Harry when he defeated Voldemort. I should have been by his side along with Remus. But instead, I cowered in a bush until the final moment. Severus Snape was where I should have been. Snape did what I should have done. It should have been ME there, not that overgrown bat.”

Dumbledore sat back in his chair, his eyes never leavRon’Ron’s, “It was not your place to be where Severus stood. It was his destiny to be where he was when he was there.” ThenThen what was MY destiny?” asked Ron, “To betray those I cared about?”

“I’m not sure what your destiny could have been, Mr Weasley. You made a decision on that battlefield. A decision that shaped the rest of your life. Perhaps you were meant to stand with Harry, but you weren’t meant to be in Severus’ place. What happened after the battle? You cbackback to Hogwarts following the Great Battle. You were injured…”

“I injured myself,” said Ron quietly, “I couldn’t come back unscathed. Even Hermione had injuries.”

“You received a special commendation from the Ministry…”

“For being a coward and running from the fight. Yes. I manufactured my own battle. There was no one to dispute me. I was wrong, Sir, I was a scared little boy who ran when the going got tough.”

“So you reinvented yourself.”

“Yes. I married well and allowed myself to be part of that world. Ron Weasley died on that battlefield ten years ago, Sir. He hasn’t existed since he watched Remus taken away to certain torture and death by Death Eaters. I put all those memories away in a part of my mind that I never thought I’d have to revisit. I thought it was locked shut until Remus regained his memories.”

“You said you had information on where Remus was.” Stated Albus, popping a lemon drop into his mouth.

“I was going to give you some cock and bull story,” admitted Ron, “I didn’t think Remus’ memory would be unlocked so quickly. I thought I could give you the basic truth, omitting my part in the sordid tale. I didn’t think Remus saw me. I thought I was safe.”

“Our past has a way of catching up with us, Mr Weasley,” stated Albus, shaking his head sadly.

“So, what are you going to do?” asked Ron, “Turn me into the Ministry?”

“You committed no crime, Mr Weasley, other than giving yourself fake injuries. You were on the field of battle, you started out taking down some Death Eaters. That much I witnessed. They will not take away your commendation. You did, however, do a gross injustice to Remus Lupin, and have waged a petty war against Severus Snape. You are guilty of lying by omission, but it is not a convictable offense. Your comment before, ‘Even Hermione was injured’, belittles who she is and what she did during the war. I think that what you do from here on out is your decision. Just understand, you will not be welcome at Hogwarts until you come clean with all involved. You will not be welcome here until you make amends. How you do that is up to you. Remember, however, reasons are not excuses. Why we do something does not excuse the action. I suggest you leave now and consider how you intend to do that, IF you intend to do that at all,” stated Albus, waving his hand and opening the oak door to his office, “Good day, Mr Weasley. My best to Mrs. Weasley.”

Ron slowly walked away from Albus Dumbledore’s office, his eyes downcast. He departed Hogwarts wit a b a backward glance, making his way to the front gates and apparating away. Albus did not know if he would return, if he would become half the man Albus knew he could be. But those the headmaster considered to be his children; Severus, Hermione, and Remus, came first. With a sigh, Albus sat down in his chair, Fawkes flying over and perching on his shoulder, gently nipping at his long white beard.

* * * * * *

Remus and Harry had left the Great Hall shortly after Ron’s summoning to Albus’ office. They walked to the main gates and apparated to Diagon Alley, Remus “hitchhiking” on Harry’s spell. They headed immediately for Ollivander’s in order to supply Remus with a wand of his own. Walking into the dimly lit interior of the wand shop, Harry remembered when he first entered so many years ago. He still had his first wand, although he did replace it following the Great Battle. Now it was Remus’ turn to replace his wand. Ollivander had explained that sometimes, the wizard’s needs change and therefore, so does the wand. Harry no longer needed the brother wand to Voldemort’s, indeed, following the defeat of the Dark Lord, the young wizard never felt comfortable using that wand again.

“Remus Lupin,” stated Mr Ollivander, “I knew you weren’t dead.”

“That’s comforting to hear,” remarked Remus.

“So, here for a new wand?”

“Yes, yes,” interrupted Harry impatiently, “and it is to be charged to Albus Dumbledore.”

“Well I know that,” huffed Mr Ollivander, “now, let’s see…12 inches, might I suggest rowan with a single mane hair from a centa He He handed the wand to Remus, “Supple,” he remarked, “nice play in the wood.”

Remus tested the wand, amazed that it performed beautifully on the first try.

“My first wand took me 17 tries before I stopped blowing up the shop,” commented Remus.

“Ah, but I knew nothing of you then,” smiled Mr Ollivander, “would you like to ry other wands? I can’t see the purpose, but if you want to…”

“No,” said Remus, “I like this wand. It feels right. Like a part of me.”

“The wand chooses the wizard, Mr Lupin.”

“I remember,” said Remus with a grin.

“I will charge this to Professor Dumbledore. Congratulations on a fine wand.”

“All right,” said Harry, as they thanked Mr Ollivander and headed out of the shop, “now to get you some new robes and a new cloak, on Albus.”

“I can’t accept…” began Remus.

“Why the heck not?” smiled Harry, “Consider it ten years worth of socks as Yule gifts.”

Harry and Remus quickly dispatched of the clothing shopping, Harry having slipped a nice set of teaching robes into the parcel containing the rest of the clothing. They had the parcel shipped via floo to Hogwarts and apparated to Hogsmeade, where they headed for the Three Broomsticks for a quick bite to eat. Harry figured they had enough time before Molly Weasley was due at the castle and there were some questions that he wanted to ask Remus. They sat down and placed their orders, Harry glancing at Remus over his tall pint.

“Ron really watched you go down and get taken by Death Eaters?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” replied Remus, “I can’t speak for his state of mind at the time, but he didn’t even lift his wand. He was under the cover of foliage. I can’t help but think he could have fired off a hex or two and not be seen.”

“He was young…” began Harry.

“And so were you, Hermione, Seamus Finnegan, Neville Longbottom, Ginny,” stated Remus, “and Ron had faced worse than a couple of Death Eaters in his life. He froze, Harry. He didn’t act, and I don’t know that I can forgive so easily. He might not have been able to stop them from taking me, but he sure as Hades could have tried.”

Harry nodded and sipped his ale, “I just wish he had told us what happened. It would have at least made more of us look for you.”

“Did Severus really spend time searching for me?”

“He saw you fall. He and Hermione both. From their viewpoint, it looked as though you were hit with the killing curse. They were too far away to help and right after you went down, we all received the call to go for Voldemort. When it was over, Severus went to collect your body first whilst the rest of us fanned out to collect the other injured and dead. You were gone. I have to say, it rather consumed Severus. Death Eaters were not known for taking the bodies of the dead enemies. They generally left them there as a taunt. He spent the better part of three years searching for you, Remus. No one knew why.”

Remus sat there looking at Harry. He took a sip of ale while Rosmerta put their food on the table and answered slowly, “Because we were friends. I can’t explain why or how, but during the last two years before the Great Battle, we settled our differences. It didn’t necessarily show on the outside, but it was so. Maybe because we both had demons we were battling and we understood each other.”

“He’s a good man, isn’t he? Hermione is safe with him…”

“He is a good man. Severus is a good man, a loyan, an, and an honest man. It would appear that he adores Hermione.”

“And she adores him.”

“It would seem so. Are you OK with that?” asked Remus.

“What do you mean?”

“Hermione told me that you were married and that it ended,” said Remus carefully.

“I thought that she left me for Severus,” said Harry, “she didn’t. She left me for us. She left to save our friendship. It hurts to see her so happy with another man, especially with a man who made my life a living hell for 7 years, but she is right. We were never meant to be married. And remaining married would have negated all the years we spent being friends. There would have been resentment aossiossibly eventually hatred. I couldn’t let that happen. She was right.”

Remus nodded, “Mature response.”

“My responses were not always mature. I did almost hex Severus.”

“That wouldn’t have been very bright. He would have hexed you before you knew what hit you.”

“Yeah, I know. But for Hermione’s sake, he didn’t,” said Harry, shuddering, “of course, she hexed Ron when he paid her a visit.”

“Did she?” asked Remus, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“Turned his prick green,” laughed Harry, “he had a heck of a time explaining it to Lavender.”

“I can imagine,” smiled Remus as he finished up his food.

Harry and Remus headed back to Hogwarts, their stomachs full and their mutual curiosities sated. At the gate, Harry said his goodbyes to Remus as he apparated back to where the National Quidditch team was touring. Remus entered the gates and walked the path to the castle. Upon entering, he was surprised to see Albus waiting for him.

“Am I late for my meeting with Molly?” asked Remus.

“No, I actually wanted to discuss something with you, about your staying on at Hogwarts.”

“Don’t worry Albus, you’ve already done so much for me. I will find a job and a place to live. Perhaps in Hogsmeade.”

Albus smiled patiently, “Actually, I would like for you to stay here. Hagrid is on a leave of absence, he left last week to try to woo and win the formidable Olympe Maxime and I am looking for someone to teach Care of Magical Creatures and keep an eye on the grounds. Are you interested?”

Remus felt a grin spread across his face, “Absolutely, Albus.”

“Good then,” said Albus, “welcome back to the staff. Now, if I’m not mistaken, Molly Weasley is about to enter the castle and you have ten years to recreate and store in a pensieve before you can get on with your life.”