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Duck Duck Goose	By : MysticSong Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 14139 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. We do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Duck . . . Duck . . . Goose!
By MysticSlave

Author�s Note:

We decided that even if on some sites this will be posted under MysticSong1978 (since that is how we started out); the new official pen name for this story is MysticSlave since it is most definitely co-written!

Disclaimer: We own nothing but the story concepts. All HP characters and similarities to the books are JK�s. Much to our disappointment.

We sincerely apologize for the delay in getting this next chapter out to you. We have been under a lot of stress, financially and other situations that tend to �suck the creativity out of you�.

I�ve sneaked in some Rickman-relative quotes as well as some otherliterary -and-popular culture (tv)references. No points this time since no one would really play � BUT I would love to know if you catch any of them. Two are pretty obvious for devoted fans.

Please note that if you leave an anonymous review w/out a way for us to contact you, your question will not be addressed in any shape or form. We are sick of receiving questions that we would like to clarify and cannot. We would prefer to address questions privately rather than taking up space here. Thank you.

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Love MysticSlave

Chapter Fourteen: Preliminary Confessions

Seamus was just settling in for his first conscious evening in the Head Girl�s room when a furious rapping came at his door. Curious, Seamus slipped out of bed, enjoying that well-shagged aroma that lingered about him; despite the embarrassment of being caught with Draco, it had not hindered him from sneaking off with several other fine boys around the castle.

�Who would have thought so many people desired Granger! Must be the badge . . .� so he put it in a place of honour � his cleavage, and moved to open the door before the rapping was so hard that the person on the other side bore a hole through the heavy oak.

�Only Snape would probably be so callous to be knocking, knocking at my chamber door this late in the evening,�thought Seamus, his excitement rising at the thought of seeing the man again.

Much to his disappointment, he found his own Head of House standing at his threshold. A seriously irate frown marred her face.

�Yes, Professor?�

�I do believe, Miss Granger, that it is time for your punishment. And that is Mistress to you.�

�Erm?� was all Seamus could muster. �Isn�t it a bit late for a detention?� he finally responded.

�Punishment,� Miss Granger, �Not detention. And it is never too late, little miss, for a punishment. Bring your bag and clean robes; you shan�t be returning to your chambers this evening.�

Seamus definitely did not like the sound of this, but hurried to do the older woman�s bidding before she asked anything else of him. �Goodness,� he mused, �if I didn�t know better, I�d say the old bird was jealous.�

�Oh,� she continued, �and do wash first, Miss Granger, you reek of a day-old-whore from Knockturn Alley. And believe you me, I know a few.�

Seamus paused. That was an image he definitely could have done without.

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Down in the dungeons, Hermione was pacing, frantically awaiting Severus� arrival. A well-placed detention here, a few points docked there, had given the boy known to everyone else as Seamus Finnegan, a completely appropriate reason for a late-night visit to the Potions Master�s realms.

A soft knock at the door heralded the arrival of the quite putout Severus Snape. As soon as he was inside the room, Hermione swiftly re-warded the door and enacted a strong silencing charm.

Without a word, Hermione collected the lad into her arms and carried him to the couch.

�Oh, Severus,� she murmured upon sitting down, �I am so sorry you have had to go through all this. Albus is a fool if he thinks we will escape without getting caught somewhere along the way.�

Severus merely sat, his forehead resting against his own body�s chest, the smell of himself mingled with something he had come to identify as Hermione, even if she was not physically present, calmed him once more.

�Ron and Harry did not . . . attempt to seduce you again, did they?�

Severus shook his head, face still hidden. �No,� the words were muffled. �We played Mad Libs.� Distaste for a silly Muggle�s children game was evident, although Hermione thought she detected a hint of underlying amusement from the dour man.

�Well, that�s good, at least.�

Severus finally looked up. �What is it you are not telling me, Hermione?�

�I met with Albus this evening.� She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly

in an attempt to calm her own racing heart. �He says that we cannot put it off any longer and that you simply must teach me Occlumency. That we cannot take the risk that Lord Vol � that he won�t call you while we are still quite so intertwined with each other�s lov � lives.� Hermione blushed at her slip.

Severus looked up, a wry grin on his face. �I would say you were right on either count there, Hermione. I think I prefer yours over your friends, though I could have gone without ever knowing Minerva quite so intimately.�

Hermione quirked an eyebrow at Severus. �Yes, well, as much as I have enjoyed intimidating students right and left while in your body, the lack of such intimate knowledge is getting a little lonely.�

It was Severus� turn to look askance at Hermione.

She blushed; the red tinge looking a bit odd on the sallow man�s face. �Intimate knowledge of others, then, and let us do get started.�

Severus raised both brows at this.

�With the Occlumency!� Hermione growled, setting Severus on his feet and rising to hers with a smooth, feline-like grace.

Severus had the decency to blush.

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Back in the Gryffindor Tower, Ron and Harry were pondering the fate of their friend.

�What do you suppose Snape was so mad at Seamus for?�

�Well he did cause an accident in Potions . . .�

�It was hardly his fault, and it isn�t like it just happened . . .�

�Maybe something happened that we don�t know about . . .�

�What can happen with Polyjuice gone wrong anyhow?�

Harry shook his head. �We need Hermione for that, and it�s a bit too late to ask her tonight. We�ll fetch her for breakfast in the morning.� He yawned. �Coming to bed, Ron?�

Ron smirked.

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Draco strolled morosely through the halls, heading back towards his rooms, not bothering to dock points off anyone he came across in his travels, so sodden was his mind with the events that had come to pass.

�I really must ask Professor Snape for some more Dreamless Sleep,� he mused. �Or perhaps I could ask the Headmaster to obliviate me. That would help immensely. Although I would rather like to keep my new memories of Hermione. Who would have thought that Head Girl was so sexually voracious? I�m not even sure that I knew what that meant until today. Perhaps I�ll be sexually voracious next week.� He smirked. �It certainly has its perks!�

Draco paused near the private rooms of his Head of House . . . perhaps he could acquire some Dreamless Sleep now; it would take far longer than Draco was capable of staying awake to argue the Headmaster into selectively obliviating him.

Few people knew that the Head of Slytherin was also Draco�s Godfather. As such, he was capable of circumventing the regular wards on the man�s private rooms without triggering alarms unless the wards sensed a notion to do harm.

As such, Draco was able to slip into the room quite undetected.

Only to be faced with Severus sitting quite comfortably on the couch while having what appeared to be a staring contest with Seamus Finnegan.

Draco�s jaw dropped open. �What the bloody hell is wrong with everyone?� Without a word, he quietly turned around and backed out of the room.

He would just have to use some old-fashioned methods to bring about sleep. �Perhaps I could get a House Elf to knock me senseless. A solid cast-iron skillet should do the trick,� he thought, far too traumatized to consider anything even remotely resembling sex.

Shaking his head at the absurdity of that thought, he sighed, and once more headed to his rooms.

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Seamus stood before the door to Professor McGonagall�s private rooms, timidly raising a hand to knock. No sooner had his fingers touched the hard wood, did the door swing open. The professor�s arm reached out and yanked the unsuspecting boy inside.

�Mmmmm, you smell much better, Hermione,� purred Minerva.

�Shit!� Thought Seamus. �She really doesn�t know it isn�t Hermione! How am I ever going to get out of this? I admit, fooling around in Hermione�s body has been fun, but mucking around with this slutty old bint is not my idea of a good time!�

Seamus shuddered as thin lips left dry kisses down his neck.

He stood stock still as Minerva began to peel his robes off, dropping them carelessly on the floor. Her own robes joined his, revealing to Severus just what a body stocking was. He decided he could have gone his entire life without knowing.

Wordlessly, he allowed himself to be drawn to the sofa, sure this was some elaborate hoax; surely Hermione was not a lover of Minerva! Minerva mistook his shudder for rapture and caressed Hermione�s body with firm yet gentle strokes.

She apparently had yet to notice the fear in his eyes and probably would not have recognized it for what it truly was; Hermione was a very good actress and was always up for any role the two decided to play out.

When Minerva moved to rob Seamus of his knickers, he couldn�t take any more, and in a raspy voice, announced, �I think we should really stop this nonsense, Professor. Severus will be along any minute to rescue me.�

Minerva quirked a brow. �Severus is going to rescue you?�

�Well, yes,� Seamus said, unknowingly digging himself deeper into the ground, �we�re lovers, him and me.�

Minerva was dumbfounded.

When she could speak again, she pressed forcefully into Seamus, bringing them face to face. �And just how many people are your lovers, here, Miss Granger!� The question came out as a low hiss; like that of a cat in torment.

Seamus futilely tried to back away. �Look, you slutty bint, I don�t know what you think you�re doing, but Severus is my lover and he is going to come get me.�

Minerva snorted, her face as red as her house colour. She repeated her question. No answer seemed forthcoming.

�Who else did you fuck besides Draco?�

Gobsmacked at the older woman�s foul mouth, Seamus cracked and gave in. �Draco, erm, Ron, Harry, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Dean, Ernie, Michael Corner, Morag MacDougal, Crabbe and Goyle, Blaise Zabini, and, erm, Terry Boot.�

Minerva made a low sound in her throat that Seamus decided was a growl. �Perhaps her animagus side is coming out?� he mused.

Quite abruptly, the woman stood up and drew her robes back into place. Seamus watched in horror as she moved over to a row of photos that seemed to contain an image of each year�s students. The boys that Seamus had named shrank back in terror from Minerva as she tapped her wand to their frames and muttered something indistinguishable under her breath. She then moved to a row of faculty portraits and proceeded to do the same thing to the Potions Master.

When she was finished, she turned to face Hermione.

�That should take care of any mucking about! I have no more use of you for tonight. You can take your filthy self back to your rooms. I have no wish to see you again anytime soon.�

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Back in the dungeons, Hermione suddenly curled up into a ball of pain on the sofa. It was quite an unbecoming look for the professor, and for a long moment, Severus was sure that Voldemort had summoned him. Hermione couldn�t go after only a few hours of practice! Yes, the girl . .. young woman . . . picked up new skills incredibly fast, but it was too soon, too soon! Then he realized that Hermione was grasping something besides her left arm.

She jumped up when she felt his hand on her shoulder, and looked woefully into his eyes. Without a word of explanation, she flew upwards out of her ungainly position, nearly collapsing as all the blood rushed from her head, and raced towards the professor�s loo, slamming the door behind her.

Seconds later, Severus heard a loud shriek.

Warily, he approached the door. �Miss� Hermione?� he called out.

The door was wrenched open; the dour man�s trousers were on the floor. Hermione grabbed his upper arms and without any forewarning cried out, �Severus! Your bits are gone! Well, not that they are bits, but, you know . . . someone cursed your bits off!�

As they stared at each other in shock, the silence allowed them to hear similar shrieks from all over Hogwarts.

�It seems, at least,� said Severus slowly, �that I was not the only target.�

�Oh, yes, that makes it all better,� scoffed Hermione.

The dark humour of the situation rose in bubbles in Severus� throat. �Are you telling me that you�re rather fond of my wobbly bits?�

�Of course I am fond of them, Severus, they have provided me with much enter . . . erm, I need them in order to take a leak! In case you have not noticed, I am as anatomically equipped as a Ken doll!

Severus then did something completely unexpected; he cautiously stepped forwards and ran his hands across Hermione�s groin. True to words, it was as smooth as a doll. She jumped in alarm. �Do you mind?� she hissed.

Severus crossed his arms and smirked. �I just wanted to feel, Miss Granger; it is my body after all.�

�It may be your body, but I am the one inhabiting at the moment, and I am the one who felt your hands in a rather intimate location just now!�

Severus smirked again. �Fancy a trip to the Headmaster?�

�And tell him exactly what, Severus? Do you think he will want a visual?�

Severus had the grace to blush. �Well, knowing Albus, I suppose that is,� he swallowed audibly, �possible,� he conceded, �but,� he continued, �the Headmaster does need to know. I know that were I in my rightful skin that I would not hesitate to inform him of such an atrocity to my person.�

�Oh, yes,� sneered Hermione, �couldn�t lose your bits, they were getting so much use by you.�

Severus scowled. �My personal life is not up for debate, nor discussion with you, Miss Granger.�

Hermione scowled and awkwardly resituated her trousers. She steered Severus back out to the sitting room and pointed towards the couch.

�You stay there. I will be back as soon as I can.�

Severus scowled, but did as Hermione instructed. Based on the sheer number of screams they had heard, he had a feeling it would not do for Seamus to be seen in presence of the recently hexed Potions Master, particularly as it appeared he had not suffered. Something for which he was most grateful.

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Hermione found herself standing in the corner of the Headmaster�s office, surrounded by male students who were quite ashen-faced. Not one of them knew what had happened that would have caused this.

�Surely,� mused the Headmaster, �there must be something that all of you did today that would have caused such an unusual curse to be placed upon all of you as well as Professor Snape.�

Hermione schooled her face into a neutral expression, furious with Albus for reminding the boys that a teacher had also been so hexed.

�Is there anything unusual about your activities today? Anything you did that you do not usually do?�

The boys, even the Slytherins, turned rather red in the face. Apparently, they had met up in the halls on their way to see the Headmaster and come up to some conclusions.

Morag finally stepped forward. �We all,� he said, gesturing at his fellow students, �shagged the Head Girl today at one point or another.�

Hermione was gobsmacked and was hard put upon to keep her face blank. The tightening of her lips was the only indication of her inner rage.

Albus looked amused. His eyes twinkled dangerously when they looked at Severus.

�And you, sir?�

�I am quite certain that I have not been sleeping with the students, Albus,� she retorted. She said no more, although she wished to, for as Albus kept eye contact with her, she suddenly realised just how this hex had come about. They had not been hexed, they had been transfigured. She was going to kill Minerva!

Severus stepped forward, slipping through the students as they backed away from the angry professor.

�I will take care of this Albus. Send these unfortunates to Poppy for one of her bladrificus totalis charms. I do not know how long this will take.�

Hermione swept out of the Headmaster�s office, the intent to whip Minerva growing steadily stronger with each step she took.

A long silence filled the Headmaster�s office.

�Bladrificus totalis?� ventured Terry.

Albus smiled benignly. �It is a charm to still your bladder so that you will not have the urge while you are unable to relieve yourself.

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A very surprised Deputy Headmistress looked up when the door to her private chambers was nearly blown off its hinges by an extremely virulent Alohamora!

She gathered her wits about her and smirked at the irate Potions Master. �Yes, Severus?�

The man swept up to her where she lounged on the settee.

�Is there any particular reason you have chosen to transfigure my bits, Madam?�

Minerva raised a brow. �Why, Severus, I had no idea you could discern such a complex transfiguration from a standard grade hex. I must say I am impressed.�

Hermione placed her hands on either side of Minerva�s face, startling the older woman into silence. �Severus never touches anyone,� she mused in bewilderment at the man�s unusual behaviour.

�Just answer the question.�

Minerva blushed. �Hermione informed me that the two of you were lovers and . . .�

�And you decided to protect your Head Girl by harming a colleague because you jumped to conclusions?�

Minerva dropped her eyes, intent on studying her hands that lay gracelessly in her lap.

�I . . . I suppose I was jealous,� she said softly.

Hermione heard her.

She brought a hand under Minerva�s chin and tipped the lady�s face up so that they were looking at one another.

�Jealous?� whispered Hermione. �Of me?�

�Jealous of anyone that would touch Hermione . . . but particularly of you. I already knew she favoured her elders, and you are wise and handsome. Perhaps not classically handsome . . . but I am not classically beautiful and Hermione cares for me all the same.�

Hermione sighed, and moving over slightly, dropped down bonelessly next to a surprised Minerva.

�Albus may kill me for telling you this, but I think he knows what I was up to in any case. I wanted to tell you from the start of this wild escapade, but he swore that what happened had to remain between Headmaster, professor, student, and Poppy.�

�Wha -- ?�

Minerva was interrupted by a loud rapping that sounded throughout the chamber.

�Excuse me, Severus; someone is at my office door. You may come with me if you wish.�

After a moment of hesitation, Hermione stood and followed Minerva out to the classroom.

Harry and Ron were outside of the Transfiguration classroom.

�And what are you two boys doing outside your dormitories so late?� asked Minerva in clipped tones.

They looked startled to see the Potions Master in their Head of House�s room so late; startled with a hint of some other indefinable emotion that Hermione was fairly sure she did not care to decipher.

�We can�t find Seamus anywhere!� Ron exclaimed.

�Yeah, we�ve looked all over for him,� explained Harry, �but we haven�t seen him since much earlier today.�

�Your house-mate is in my office at the moment,� drawled Hermione.

The three looked at him in some surprise.

�Is this what you came to see me about, Severus?� asked Minerva.

�Not exactly, but it is relevant to the problem overall.�

There was a slight pause and then Harry asked, �Is he okay, sir? We sort of had plans for tonight.�

Hermione felt deep sympathy for Severus at this new topic. �He is fine, Mr. Potter, but he will not be back tonight. He is serving detention with me and then has an appointment with the Headmaster.�

The two boys looked terribly disappointed, but took their leave.

�Git,� she heard Ron mutter under his breath. Harry admonished him, surprising Hermione even though she knew what the boys really thought of the Potions Master, but nonetheless, she called out, �Ten points, Mr. Weasley, for disrespecting a professor.�

After that, there was silence.

Hermione turned back towards Minerva who had slowly shut the door to her office. She stood for a moment and then faced Severus.

�What is the overall problem, then, Severus?�

�Well,� she drawled, �by and large I would have to say it is the absence of part of my body and I sincerely wish for you to transfigure it back properly. Immediately.�

Minerva paled. �I cannot.�

�What the bloody hell do you mean, woman?�

�It is . . . a new field in which I have been working. Time-based transfiguration; it will take a week and then undo itself without any prompting from myself.�

Hermione sighed. �I know for a fact that you did this to quite a number of students. I would never have believed you capable of harming your students, Minerva, particularly your beloved little cubs.�

Minerva sighed. �Love makes you do the wacky.�

Hermione raised an eyebrow but did not comment.

Instead, she coldly replied, �I have it on good faith that Hermione had nothing to do with any other student or person besides you, Minerva.�

�And just how exactly would you know that Severus? I had it from her lips.�

�You�ve watched me grow up as a student and been my colleague since I graduated, were witness to the incident with Moody during Hermione�s fifth year and yet you did not once consider the possibility of Polyjuice?�

Minerva paled a bit. �Polyjuice?�

�It was, in fact the potion that she and Harry were working on when the original accident occurred. Did you not in fact notice anything peculiar about her at that time?�

Minerva�s brow furrowed in thought. �What are you suggesting, Severus? Polyjuice wears off; the person must continuously imbibe it for it to work. Even I know that much.�

�Pure Polyjuice, yes, but this potion was mistakenly combined with two others before it was completely brewed.�

�Hermione would never make such an error.�

�I am not implying that she did, Minerva, I am simply stating what happened. The potion then exploded all over Hermione and myself. We woke up much later in the infirmary.� Hermione leaned forward so that her face was inches from the older woman�s. �Min, in this castle, you should never assume anything.�

Minerva sank onto a nearby chair. �Only Hermione has ever called me Min.� She didn�t seem to realise she had spoken a loud until a comforting hand settled on her shoulder.

�I know, Min, I know.� Hermione gracefully kneeled next to her Head of House. �I�ve been living in Severus� body ever since that accident.�
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