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Marvin the Mad Muggle	By : AuctorRubra Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1883 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Disclaimer: It�s not mine! *sob* Harry, all of his
friends, and the entirety of Potterverse all belong to J.K. Rowling and I swear
that I�m not making any money off of it. BUT�Marvin is mine, mine, mine and if
you touch him I will hex you into oblivion

Harry: Oh My God!! I can�t believe you had me do that to
Snape! He is going to kill me.

Marvin: I think you�re overreacting.

Harry: You should be terrified! You�re defenseless!

Marvin: Now, Harry, I don�t think you�re giving Severus
enough credit�

Ron: Hey guys! How did you like my little addition to the
fireworks?

Harry: *rolls eyes* When are you going to give up? Snape
is not gay.

Ron: *smirks* Well, there�s always hope that he�s bi.

Snape: There you are! Do you three have any idea what you
have done?!

Harry: Hexed your coffee.

Marvin: Dyed your hair.

Ron: Gotten off on the image of you in muggle clothing.

Snape: *retches* I am going to�

Author: Hey! Will you please save it for the story? Chill
out, its just fiction.

Chapter 14: Birthdays Are a Bore When There�s No One At
the Door

Harry awoke the next morning
feeling refreshed and particularly smug. Nothing short of dispatching Voldemort
had felt that good in years! Best of all he had a picture and witnesses to
prove that it had happened. Ha! See if Snape ever dared to turn him into a
girl again. Harry shivered at the memory of the pantyhose that Marvin had
insisted were only proper the day they went to Diagon Alley.

Speaking of Diagon Alley, Harry
was expecting Plan B to be on the front page this morning�s paper. Simply one
more reason why he was feeling entirely victorious as he made his way down to
breakfast. It was his birthday and he had given himself several wonderful
presents during the past week. He walked into the Great Hall feeling eager to
see the sullen and defeated look on Snape�s face.

No need to feel guilty, Marvin
will have the great bat perked back up again in no time.

Still, as Harry approached the
head table and made his way to his seat he was somewhat disappointed to see
Snape calming sipping his tea and reading the Daily Prophet. This wasn�t the
worst part. The git had an eerily serene expression and Harry couldn�t help
but wonder if Albus had cast several strong cheering charms on the snarky
wizard, followed by a potent calming draught in his tea. Why wasn�t Snape
blowing a gasket? Why wasn�t he shooting glares at everyone at the table? Why
wasn�t he, at the very least, sulking in his dungeons. Harry had cancelled the
charms on the dungeon walls in a last minute show of good sportsmanship. No
need to kick a man when he was down when you could silently gloat.

As he piled some eggs and bacon on
his plate, an uneasy feeling began to build in his stomach. He was so
distracted by this that he failed to notice that no one had said Happy Birthday
to him when he arrived. Pouring himself some tea, he snuck another glance at
Snape. The man caught him looking and offered a little half smile, which
appeared genuine enough. It was scary as hell. Harry nearly dropped his teacup
and wet his pants. Snape smiled at him. Hell was freezing over. That
or Harry had walked into some bizarre alternate reality.

Suddenly, Harry felt a twisting in
his gut and a little whisper in his brain. Had they traumatized him that
badly? Had they done irreparable damage to the delicate balance of piss and
vinegar flowing in the man�s blood? He watched with a sense of dread as Snape
drained the last of his tea and proceeded to carefully refold his paper. When
Snape stood and walked over to him, Harry had to resist a strong urge to beg
for forgiveness.

�Happy birthday, Harry,� Snape
said in a mild tone and offered his Daily Prophet.

Harry accepted the paper with
trembling hands. �Thank you, Severus.�

The wizards smiled again, this
time a fully blown smile, crooked teeth and all, and Harry flinched. Then
Snape swept out of the dining hall and Harry felt the bottom fall out of his
stomach. No, Snape wasn�t damaged, he was up to something. Harry looked down
at his food and then decided that making himself something in his private
kitchenette would be much safer. He glanced at his fellow professors, none of
whom gave any indication that they had witnessed the exchange, and then bolted
for his rooms to consult with Marvin.

__________________________________________________________________

Marvin slowly roused from sleep
and dragged himself from bed and into the bathroom. As he took a long, hot
shower, a sudden thought occurred to him. It was Harry�s birthday! He had
been so wrapped up in pranking Snape that he had completely forgotten that
today was the day. It was a good thing that he had Ron pick up his present.
He had been impressed by the fact that Harry owned a PS2 and decided to buy him
a game.

Jumping out of the shower and
quickly toweling off, Marvin practically dove into his clothes in his haste to
go and greet his friend. When he realized that Harry had already left for
breakfast he decided to head for the Great Hall. As he made his way through
the corridors at a quick gait, he heard someone shout, �Stupefy!�

Oh, not again!

______________________________________________________________________

Harry burst into his quarters with
the Daily Prophet still clutched in his hand. He wanted to show his friend the
special article Colin had published for them explaining to the wizarding world
what Marvin had done for him. First thing was first, however, he needed to
discuss with Marvin whether Snape might be prepared to kill them.

He searched every room of the
suite, but found no sign of the muggle other than a towel hastily tossed over
the side of the shower. Deciding that Albus would at least protect Marvin from
retaliation, Harry set out to make himself some breakfast. He opened his
window in anticipation of the usual birthday owls before sitting in front of
the fireplace to eat his eggs and toast.

Two hours later: Marvin had not
returned, no owls had arrived with birthday greetings, and Harry was feeling a
bit put out.

Three hours later: Still no
Marvin, still no owls, and Harry was feeling quite upset and decided to search
for his friend with the Daily Prophet in tow so he could show Marvin the
special article right away. Marvin at least would remember to wish him a happy
birthday.

Four hours later: Marvin was
nowhere in the corridors (actually he hadn�t seen anyone for a while), still no
owls, and Harry was beginning to feel frantic.

Five hours later: Firecalls turned
up no leads (actually, absolutely no one he called was home). A search of the
grounds failed to reveal Marvin. Harry was now desperate.

Six hours after sitting down for
his breakfast, Harry had given up on receiving birthday wishes from anyone, but
he was more worried about Marvin at that point. Swallowing his pride and
hiking up his courage, Harry headed back towards the castle to look for Severus
and ask for his help. He arrived at the front entrance only to be confronted
by sneaky git himself.

�Hello, Harry,� Snape said looking
up at the sky. �It�s a wonderful day for your birthday.�

Harry glared at the man suspiciously.
He was cheery. He was friendly. He was just down right creepy. �Hello,
Severus. Have you seen Marvin?�

�Not since just after breakfast,�
Snape said with a warm smile. Harry winced. Snape began to walk closer.

Harry resisted the urge to take a
step back. �Oh? Did he mention if he was planning on going any where?�

Snape shrugged. �Not that I
remember. He was in a bit of a rush.�

Harry was frozen in place. He couldn�t
move and he couldn�t tear his eyes away from Snape�s smile. It was mesmerizing
in some horrific way. Before he could blink, Snape was only a few inches from
him, wand pointing at the Daily Prophet.

�Well, Harry,� Snape said as his
warm smile melted into a wicked grin. �I only have one more thing to say.�

Harry gulped. �Er�what?�

Snape grabbed the loose half of
the newspaper and touched his wand to it. �Payback.�

There was a familiar tug at
Harry�s navel before they were both whisked away.
- 13
- 14
- 15
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Marvin the Mad Muggle