Secrets and Promises (Abandoned Story)

Series Title: Secrets and Promises
Fandom: Harry Potter
Series Rating: NC-17
Genre: Mystery & Romance
Pairing: Draco/Harry, but also mentions of other past and other relationships as the story progresses.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy et al are a fictional characters created by J.K. Rowling as part of the Harry Potter series. We just borrow them to play. We don't make any money from it but we do have a very good time. [Beckett, Cocoa and the Malfoy Townhouse are inventions of slashpervert.]
Series Summary: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are Aurors who work for the Ministry of Magic. In this series they find themselves investigating a serial killer and discovering they are in love with each other. It follows them as they struggle to build lives and heal their past wounds, now that the war is behind them.
Notes: This series is written based in part on the RPG Ambiguous Desire.

Chapter Number/Total: 14/?.
Chapter Title: You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide
Chapter Authors: slashpervert and acidpop25.
Beta(s): nefernat
Chapter Rating: NC-17
Words: 4440 Words
Chapter Characters: Draco Malfoy and Theo Nott.
Warnings: Language, sex, fluff and angst. Draco/Theo pairing!
Summary: Draco goes to talk to Theo. Heartfelt revelations and a LOT of sex ensue.

[SPECIAL NOTE: It is not "cheating" if your partner agrees it is okay for you to have sex with someone else. "Cheating" is when you have an agreement for monogamy and then break it. Harry did cheat on Ron. Draco did not cheat on Harry - because he asked permission first. The term for responsible non-monogamy is called "polyamory." If you don't understand it -- look it up. Easy to find on Wikipedia or a dozen other sites. Amazes me how many people think the only valid kinds of love are heterosexuality and/or monogamy. Sigh.]



Friday, Nov. 28, 2003

Theodore sighed and pushed his work aside, utterly unable to focus. A glance at the clock showed it to be early evening, and he stood, stretching stiff muscles, then left the study and walked don the hall to his room. Theo was fond of his bedroom here. It was smaller and simpler than the master suite in Nott Estate, with a big bay window that looked out over the landscape. It was in the windowseat that Theodore settled himself, curling up in a ball and resting his head against the cool glass, breath fogging it and eyes falling shut.

Draco Apparated to Theo's place in Whales where he knew the other man liked to hide out . He arrived in the foyer and looked around. "Theo?" he called out. He couldn't remember if Theo had a house elf or not.

The lone house elf of the house appeared with a pop, wringing its hands. "Master Theodore is not wanting visitors, sir," it said.

"Master Theo will see this visitor," Draco said firmly. "Where is he?"

The elf hesitated, watery eyes anxious. "Bedroom, sir, but you is not to be going..."

Draco knew his way around and he strode forward heading for Theo's bedroom. When he got to the door he stood for a moment, collecting himself. Then he quietly sauntered in and stood watching his friend for a moment.

Theo didn't need to open his eyes to know who had walked in. "The elf wasn't supposed to let you in," he muttered, frowning slightly.

"I am sure he is banging his head against a wall right now," Draco sighed and came to sit down next to Theo in the window box.

Theo opened one eye. "I can't say that makes me feel any better about it."

"So don't give him stupid orders next time," Draco sighed, leaning back against the cushions.

"It wouldn't be a stupid order if you didn't insist on doing stupid things," Theo said, but the jab held no edge; he was just too drained. "This won't help matters at all, you must know that."

"Was I trying to help?" Draco asked, smirking. He crossed his leg over his knee.

Theo sighed heavily. "I'm in no mood for games, Draco. Why are you here?"

Draco closed his eyes, sighing. Because I love you, you prat didn't seem like the right thing to say right now. Problem was that he didn't know what was. Theo's back was still to him, so he laid his hand on his back.

Theo shifted, half-turning in his seat and resting his head against Draco's shoulder, which was just a bit too bony to be entirely comfortable. "You place a great deal of trust in my self-control for a man with a boyfriend," Theo muttered.

Draco put his arm around Theo's shoulder. "I think we both know that I have more self-control than either of you," Draco laughed. "A highly over-rated attribute."

"I used to have self-control," Theo muttered, an edge of annoyance in his voice. "I used to have nothing but control. I liked things that way." Rambling, God, he was rambling, and he didn't do rambling, either, but it had been how long since he'd been this close to an attractive man? And to Draco, even longer, but he couldn't let himself do something else stupid....

"Like I said," Draco whispered, "highly over-rated." He brought his other hand up, petting Theo's hair even as he held him against his chest.

Theo's eyes fell shut again. "You should go," he whispered, but he leaned into the touch all the same.

"No, I shouldn't," Draco said quietly, carding his hand through Theo's hair. "I did that before and look where it got us."

"Draco," Theo said, and swallowed thickly. "Draco, if you stay, I may not be the only one with a furious ex at the end of this."

"I don't think so," Draco said quietly. "Harry wasn't angry about the kiss."

"There's a world of difference between a kiss and... well." Theo straightened, moving away in as much as he could on the small window seat.

Draco smiled, following Theo as he tried to move. He reached his arms out and ran both hands around Theo's chest and pulled him back against him. "You aren't pushing me away this time," he said softly.

"I can't come between you and Harry," Theo said, turning his head away. "I won't. I actually like you both, and there are these pesky things called morals, and I can't ruin things for you just because nothing is good enough for Parkinson."

"Harry knows how I feel about you, even if you don't," Draco whispered as he continued to hold Theo tightly.

"I get it, Draco, but I can't do this, and I don't know how I can make that any clearer."

"What do you get, Theo?" Draco asked, sighing. "That you have decided to be miserable no matter what? That the two of you are so fucked up about love in part because of me?"

"You made your feelings pretty damn clear when you kissed me. " Theo said dully, "But you love Harry too, and Harry can love you back without years upon years of issues attached, and so I really... you don't belong here right now."

Draco slid back and stood up, looking down at Theo, considering for a moment. "I am where I need to be right now, Theo."

Theo didn't answer, just curled in on himself in the window seat and looked out at the darkening sky, unlit by star or moon or lamp. "I'm sick of being the one who gets hurt for what other people want and do and think," he said quietly. "I'm sick of being weak, and I'm sick of being breakable, and I'm sick of getting fucked over even when I do the right thing. I'm so bloody sick of it all."

Draco knelt beside the window seat, leaning forward so his elbows rested on the window seat behind Theo. He found he could see Theo's face reflected in the window. He watched that face, remembering long ago when that face belonged to an eleven year old who felt lost and out of place. And later, a fifteen-year-old boy who kissed him and held him.

"I have known Pansy since we were five and you since we were eleven," Draco said quietly. "The first two people who I ever trusted. You made me feel ... beautiful. I knew Pansy loved me, but it was you who made me think that there might be more to me than my family."

"Because there was," Theo murmured, reaching over and giving Draco's hand a brief squeeze. "But it's not the point, Draco, I–" Theo broke off and turned to look at him. "I never trusted you, and I never trusted her, and I've never trusted anyone in my life, and... and I can't love someone if I can't trust."

"You were beginning to trust me," Draco said softly. "But I threw it all away. In sixth year, I withdrew from you and Pansy. I pretended I didn't want you any more, that I didn't feel anything for you. And then I fled." Draco squeezed Theo's hand and reached his other hand up, laying it along his cheek. "I never stopped caring."

"But caring and being there are very separate things," Theo answered, just as quiet.

Draco sighed, closing his eyes for a minute, his fingers caressing Theo's face. "I wasn't there when you needed me. I didn't want to involve you in what was happening to me then. I know this sounds like an excuse, but I really thought I could protect you by pulling away."

"With my father being who he was? One way or another, the war wasn't something I could have avoided." Theo shrugged uncomfortably, looking out the window. "It doesn't matter anyway. It's over."

"It matters," Draco said quietly, "Because I never told you. I don't even know how much you know about what happened in sixth year. I was told that everyone I loved would be killed, in retaliation, if I didn't do what that madman wanted."

"I had a pretty good idea," Theo answered. "At the time, I didn't particularly care."

"Didn't care?" Draco asked, surprised. "You were so angry with me."

Theo bit his lip. "Didn't care what might have happened to me if... if you had failed, if he'd known about me, any of it."

"I didn't feel I had a choice then, not about doing what he wanted and not about you. I ... just couldn't put you at risk." Draco rubbed his thumb over Theo's lips. "I don't know if you will ever ... forgive me."

"Why shouldn't I?" Theo murmured.

"You say that," Draco answered, bringing a hand up to rest on Theo's chest, "but I don't think that is how you feel. I don't think this is about words."

"I don't know who it is I'm not forgiving," Theo whispered. "You, or myself."

"Maybe we should find out?" Draco said, leaning forward and kissing Theo's forehead.

"And how do you propose we do that?" he murmured.

Draco smiled softly, looking at Theo. "I am trying to figure it out. But I know you. Words will never get us where we need to go." He took a deep breath, "And Harry agrees with me."

Theo raised an eyebrow. "Harry is being idiotic, then," he remarked.

Draco laughed and shook his head. "Because he would share? Or because you are afraid of what it would mean to try?"

Theo gently traced his fingertips along the sharp line of Draco's jaw. "He'd have to be, not to want to keep you all to himself," he whispered.

Draco actually blushed at that, glancing down at the back up again. "Can you share if he can?" Draco asked quietly.

Theo brushed his fingers across the flushed skin of Draco's cheek. "You know Pansy will never forgive you. Forgive either of us."

"Maybe," Draco sighed. "But I am losing both of you if I don't do something and I don't want that. I can't sit by and see you so unhappy. Not when I am part of the reason why and when I want..." Draco felt in some ways like he was fifteen again.

"I just..." Theo trailed off. "Are you sure about this? Is Harry?"

Draco smiled, feeling both shy and more confident. "I know how I strongly I feel about you. And I know that Harry and I love each other. He seems confident that he can handle this. And who am I to disagree with that?"

Theodore hesitated, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

Draco knew he had reached as far as words would take him. He leaned forward, sucking on that bottom lip, one hand curling around the back of Theo's head and the other around his waist.

Theo made a low, indistinct noise against Draco's lips, and his hands pressed flat against Draco's chest but didn't push him away.

Draco licked at Theo's lips, silently begging him to let him in.

You're going to get hurt, Theo thought to himself, but he reached up and threaded the fingers of one hand into Draco's hair and parted his lips, eyes falling shut.

Draco moaned as Theo's hand grasped his hair and he slid his tongue into the other man's mouth. He was still on his knees beside the window seat, one hand around Theo's waist and the other resting against the back of his neck.

"Draco," Theo muttered against his lips, "c'mere..."

Draco rose to meet Theo, allowing the other man to pull him up to the window seat but not letting go in the process. He wasn't giving him any chance to change his mind now. He kissed him again, his tongue curling around Theo's.

Theo wrapped his free arm around Draco, pulling him down on top of himself as he kissed back.

Draco gasped at the feeling of Theo under him. He lost himself in the kiss, allowing both the physical sensations and his feelings for Theo to wash over him. Both hands rested on Theo's chest now, allowing the other man to hold him in place.

Theodore moaned low in his throat, pressing Draco closer and arching very slightly against him, movement limited by the small space. God, he had missed this.

Draco sighed and rubbed against Theo, enjoying the way the other man held him tight. Theo liked control and Draco was more than willing to give it to him.

"Remind me," Theo murmured, between kisses, "why you'd never wanted to get much past this in school?"

"I was a fool," Draco whispered against his lips. His hands grasped Theo's shirt and he was wanting so much more now but unable to voice it yet.

"Well, in that case," Theo answered, and nipped at Draco's lower lip, opening his eyes to look up at him.

Draco's grey eyes were soft with desire and he smiled at Theo, opening his mouth for him and waiting.

The corners of Theo's lips quirked up ever so slightly, the closest he'd come to a smile in days, and he nibbled lightly at Draco's lip, almost teasing.

"Mmm," Draco hummed, his breath in small gasps. "Please, Theo," he begged.

"Please, what?" Theo asked, reaching to brush a stray lock of hair from Draco's face.

Draco tried to form coherent words, he knew what Theo was asking him to do and it made him blush. "Please, make love to me," he said quietly.

Theo shivered slightly and pressed a soft kiss to Draco's lips. "I'll admit, I'm not much of a top...."

Draco licked his lips and nipped at his chin. He smirked, raising an eyebrow, "That's okay, I go both ways." The he began to lick and nibble his way down Theo's chin.

"I just tend to prefer it," Theo murmured, "but if it's what you want, I would... not like I mind, by any means...."

Draco's face coloured again. He stopped and looked at Theo. "I defer to the man with more experience in these matters," he smiled.

"I'm letting you choose," Theo murmured, brushing a kiss across Draco's cheek.

Draco nodded, licking his lips. "You top then," he said breathlessly.

Theo nodded, carding his fingers through Draco's hair. "Bed?"

Gods, but Draco loved his hair touched. He sighed into the touch and nodded, moving to get up.

Theo sat up as much as he could with Draco still half on top of him and laced his fingers with the other man's, thumb lightly stroking the back of Draco's hand.

Draco kissed him lightly, smiling at their joined hands and stood up without letting go.

Theo smiled slightly against Draco's lips and got to his feet as well, gently tugging Draco in the direction of the bed. "The one in Nott Estate's bigger, but oh well," he muttered absently.

Draco smiled but didn't comment, allowing himself to be led to the bed. He stood excited and curious as to what Theo would do next.

"If I never told you," Theo murmured, fingertips brushing across Draco's cheek, "you're beautiful."

Draco stood trembling at his touch, closing his eyes and sighing.

Slowly, Theo started to undo the buttons of Draco's shirt, one by one, kissing his way down the centre of Draco's chest as the pale skin was revealed.

Gasping, Draco held still, his hands to his side, letting Theo undress him.

Theo looked up, a slight smile curving his lips as he undid the last button. "You're allowed to touch, you know," he murmured, a faint tinge of amusement in his tone.

Draco nodded, allowing his shirt to slide from his shoulder before reaching for to touch Theo again. He reached long fingers out to caress the front of Theo's dark red shirt, feeling the muscles underneath before sliding to the top button to undress him.

Theo sighed softly, slipping his arms around Draco's waist and splaying his hands across the warm, soft skin of Draco's lower back, watching him through half-closed eyes.

Draco continued to undress Theo, smoothing his fingers over the skin as he exposed it. He looked wonderingly at the chest so changed from the boy he once knew.

"Mm," Theo hummed, and he smirked, very slightly. "Better with a little time, do you think?" he asked, half-teasing.

"Yes," Draco said pulling the shirttail out and finishing the buttons. He pushed the shirt off Theo's shoulders and brought his face to the other man's chest, rubbing his cheek over the skin of Theo's chest.

Theo flushed faintly. "I always was too thin. Still am, really..."

"Mmm," he said. "Nice." Draco’s voice was soft and distracted as he ran his face along the planes of Theo's chest, and began kissing the skin.

Theo made a soft sound and pulled Draco close, lying back on the bed and gently tugging Draco with him.

Draco's heart sped up a lot and he groaned when Theo took him down to the bed. He toed his shoes off and slid his thigh between Theo's legs.

"Breathe, beautiful," Theo chided fondly, and started trailing soft, almost lazy kisses down the side of his neck.

Draco nodded, a shy smile on his lips and then he arched into Theo's kisses, his hands caressing the other man's back.

Theo pressed closer, interspersing his kisses with soft bites as he reached to unbutton Draco's trousers.

Draco trembled under Theo's hands, he was hard and excited and nervous all at the same time.

"Shh, shh," Theo crooned against Draco's neck, and he flicked the button open and slid down the zip, then gently eased Draco's trousers down off of him.

Theo gentleness was so much like the boy of the past that Draco could have wept for joy even as it excited him. "Oh, Theo," he gasped.

Theo brushed his fingers down the scar running down Draco's chest, inwardly vowing to ask later, and pressed a kiss to his parted lips. Too perfect for words.

Draco froze when Theo touched his scar but relaxed as he moved on, opening to his kiss and licking at his lips.

A quiet moan escaped Theo, the sound muffled by Draco's lips, and he skimmed his hands back up Draco's chest teasingly, fingers tweaking and rubbing at his nipples.

"Mmm," Draco hummed into Theo's mouth, his hands clutching at his back. His nipples hardened and sensitive, he shivered under Theo's touch.

Theo pulled back slightly, pressing a last kiss to Draco's lips before sliding down, scattering kisses across his chest as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Draco's boxers and looked up at him expectantly, silently seeking permission.

Draco licked his lips, breathing fast and nodded. The look of Theo, there, like that, was very hot. He hadn't seen Theo look this... happy... in a very long time.

Theo smiled slightly; a strange smile, part pleasure, part bitterness, part predatory; gone too soon to tell anymore. He tugged Draco's boxers down and paused, drawing back slightly and just looking at him.

Draco's sighed at the feel of the silk being pulled down over his erection. He was taut with desire and nerves. He looked up at Theo, keeping his face open and letting his own need show.

Theo swallowed hard, licking suddenly dry lips. "So bloody gorgeous," Theo whispered.

Draco's cock twitched in response, even as he smiled. "Touch me," he begged.

Theo curled his fingers around Draco's cock, stroking slowly, and Theo watched him intently, biting his lower lip.

"Oh, Gods, Theo," Draco gasped, trembling again and tossing his head. His hands dug in to the blankets below him.

Theo dipped his head and sucked just the tip of Draco's cock into his mouth, flicking his tongue softly over it and watching Draco's face.

Draco gasped, trying to hold still and focus on the sensations. Theo was doing this to him. "Yes, Theo!"

Theo sucked a bit harder, but not near hard enough– he wanted to draw this out, wanted to make it last, wanted to watch Draco come undone underneath him.

Panting and trembling, Draco tried to hold still to let Theo have control. It was erotic and frightening, just allowing this to happen.

Theo pulled back, sitting up slightly. "I seem to be overdressed," he murmured.

Draco groaned when Theo released him. "Yes," he gasped. "I ... I want to see you, to touch you."

Theo took a deep breath, trying to calm the furious racing of his heart, and unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers, flushing and not quite meeting Draco's eyes as he pushed them and his underwear down and slid out of them.

"Oh, yes," Draco sighed. Unable to help himself Draco reached a hand out to touch Theo, caressing his thigh.

A small shiver ran down Theo's spine at the touch, and his hips arched forward slightly without him thinking about it.

Draco slid his hand along that warm skin, enjoying the small soft dark hairs that covered his thighs and the feeling of muscle underneath. He trailed long fingers up to Theo's hip, rubbing a thumb over his hipbone.

"Draco," Theo whimpered, moving closer. Still a tease...

Taking that as permission, Draco slid his hand up to grasp that firm flesh between Theo's thighs. His fingers ran delicately up the shaft and then closed around him.

Theo moaned, thrusting forward into Draco's hand and squeezing his eyes shut.

Draco rolled to his side, facing Theo, so that he could us both hands. He cupped Theo's balls with one hand, while he gently fisted Theo's cock. He leaned in, his lips brushing Theo's.

Theo deepened the kiss and pressed Draco closer, free hand reaching between them to stroke Draco. "Missed this," he whispered against Draco's lips.

"Mmm," Draco hummed, licking and kissing at Theo's chin. "I like the way you taste," he smiled.

Theo smirked slightly and wound the fingers of his free hand in Draco's hair. "Feeling's mutual," he murmured.

The double sensation of having his hands on Theo's cock and the other man touching was delightful and a bit dizzying. He concentrated on mirroring what Theo was doing so that they were synchronised.

"Draco," Theo said, his breathing heavy, "if you still want me to shag you..."

"Yes," Draco gasped, "I do." He slowed his hands on Theo, still holding him but not moving.

Theo splayed his hand on Draco's hip, thumb tracing the sharp just of bone beneath the skin. "On your back or your front, beautiful?" Theo asked.

Draco smiled, almost dreamily. "First time on my back, so I can see you."

"I'm the same way," Theo said, pressing a kiss to Draco's lips as he reached for his wand. He muttered the spell, then dropped his wand back on the nightstand and nudged Draco's legs a bit farther apart, settling himself between them.

Draco flushed feeling the heat of his desire and his heart beating fast. He was actually more nervous this time than he had been with Harry. He spread his legs, trying to relax and let it happened.

"Calm down," Theo soothed, pressing a gentle, chaste kiss to Draco's lips. "Everything stops if you don't want it, all right?"

That did not calm Draco down. "Please don't stop," he begged.

Theo smiled softly and reached to tease at Draco's entrance with one finger, pressing just the very tip inside.

Draco smiled, relaxing again and feeling his sense of self open to the feeling. Theo was being so gentle. This wasn't a side of him he had seen in a long time. Draco sighed happily as Theo slid his finger in.

Theo let out a breath as he felt Draco relax and slowly slid his finger farther in, trailing soft kisses along Draco's collar bone as he did.

"Yes, Theo," Draco whispered, quivering under his touch.

Theo worked his finger in and out a few times, making sure Draco was ready before starting to press in a second one.

"Not ... virgin ... anymore," Draco gasped, "Faster, please."

"We've got time," Theo murmured, nipping at the skin.

"Aaah," Draco started to writhe against Theo's hand. Theo was going maddeningly slow and yet it felt so good. He tried to remember that he asked for Theo to be in control.

"I assume you don't want a third," Theo murmured, a tinge of amusement in his tone, and started to scissor his fingers, stretching Draco further.

"Want, you," Draco gasped, "inside." Draco's eyes were half closed as the sensations drove him inward to his senses. His grey eyes seemed silver in his excitement.

A soft moan escaped Theo, and he pulled his fingers out and positioned himself, then started to push inside, watching Draco intently as he did, as if he could memorise this moment.

Draco, too, forced himself to open his eyes and watch Theo's face. He was beautiful and Draco felt such joy at having reached this place. He sighed at the feel of Theo entering him.

Theo moaned again, louder and low in his throat, at the feeling of being inside of Draco like this, of the tight heat of his body and the sheer intimacy of the feeling. And maybe, he thought guiltily, everything had been worth it, after all.

"Theo, yes, Theo, I feel you," Draco was whispering, "inside me." He reached his hands up trying to touch as much of the other man has he could.

"God, Draco," Theo gasped, and kissed him deeply as he started to move, just a shallow rocking of his hips at first.

"Yes, yes," Draco cried out, meeting each move of Theo's hips, his arms stroking the muscles of Theo's chest, rubbing thumbs over the man's nipples.

Theo groaned and started to thrust harder, drowning in the sensation. He'd thought he'd lost his chance at this.

Draco was moaning and sobbing incoherently now, meeting Theo's thrusts and clutching at him.

Theo reached between them and started stroking Draco quickly in time with his thrusts, knowing he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Oh, Gods, Theo," Draco cried out, clutching Theo's shoulders and thrusting with him. And then he was coming, screaming as he did, feeling the energy rippling through him.

"Draco," Theo moaned, and one more thrust and he was coming too, eyes squeezed tightly shut as every muscle pulled taut.

"Yes, oh, yes," Draco cried, feeling Theo deep inside him. He held him tight, loving their connection; a connection never broken, but never completed, until now.

Theo brushed a lock of hair away from Draco's eyes and slowly, reluctantly pulled out and lay down beside him, pulling Draco close.

"I love you," Theo whispered.

Draco sighed, smiling, "I know, and I love you."