Both Sides | By : ccino49 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 10429 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
I do not own any of the characters or places from the Harry Potter books or films. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. All that is mine is Lou and the plot. I am not making any money from the writing of this story.
Both Sides.
Unbeta’d, all mistakes and lousy grammar are mine. ccino
Ch 14 So it is written, so shall it be
As he was leading her into the drawing room, she looked down at her robes. “I still didn’t get to say thanks, for the clothes, and things.”
“You are welcome. What things incidentally?”
“The other things, though I’m not sure your supposed to get me things like that, it feels a bit odd.”
“Odd? I do not understand.”
Lou stopped, her cheeks burning, something else she was getting sick of. She wigged her finger, wanting him to lean down so she could whisper in his ear. When he did she cupped a hand round her mouth and told him. “The knickers and stuff. It’s kind of, you know ...”
Severus felt his own cheeks burn and stood to his full height. Which was considerably higher than Lou’s. That is something I left to Madam Malkin’s discretion. I did not select it myself.”
Lou didn’t know where to look. She’d thought he chose it, and by the look of his face and the stains on his cheeks, he knew what she thought.
“I’ve done it again haven’t I? Put my big foot in it and said the wrong thing. Are you mad at me?”
Severus actually laughed. “No, I am not mad, nor have you put your foot into anything. I perhaps should have explained when I gave them to you. In fact, I think we should both start explaining ourselves a little better. It will certainly save us from any more misunderstandings. Agreed?”
“You bet.” She told him, holding out her hand.”
He frowned for a moment. “You expect me to kiss your hand?”
“What? Cripes no, we shake.”
“Shake?”
“Yeah, shake.” She told him with a grin.” Lou grabbed his right hand and clasped it with her own, then she shook them. “It’s to seal the deal.” She told him.
“How odd.” He answered, looking at his hand now she’d released it. “Seal the deal eh?”
“Yeah, kiss my hand? Gross.” She giggled. “Yuck, kissing.”
Severus sported a half smile as they entered the drawing room.
“I take it you two have settled things between you?” Albus asked.
Lou nodded and sat on the sofa.
Severus however remained standing. “We have, however, it is time Lou was given an explanation. She is confused as to why she is here, who she is and why she cannot return to the muggle world. Do you not think it is time Headmaster?”
“Yeah, what’s going on?” Lou asked, kneeling one leg on the sofa and watching them all over the back of it.
Albus turned to Lou first. “Very well, but first you must bring down your papers, all of them Louhi. Then all shall be revealed.”
“Why do you need my private things?”
Severus looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “Quid pro quo. It means …”
“One favour for another, yeah, I know.”
“You know Latin?”
“Some, but that’s not really a proper Latin proverb, I would have said, do ut des. I give, in order that you give.”
Before anyone could say another word, she left the room to collect her satchel.
“Did you know she could speak Latin Headmaster?” Severus asked, slightly put out at being corrected by Lou.
“No more than you did Severus. And she was correct in her amendment of your own usage.”
“I know that, but I did not expect her to.”
The Headmaster and Kingsley laughed, Severus merely looked perplexed.
It took Lou a good ten minutes to return with her satchel, stairs were still hard going for her. When she limped back into the room, all eyes were on her. “What? I didn’t do anything. Did I?”
“No you did not, we are curious however. Why did you not say you spoke Latin?” Severus wanted to know.
“You never asked.”
“So where did you learn?”
Lou sighed. “’Ex luna scienta.’ am I gonna find out about me now?
(from the moon of knowledge)
“Indeed you are.” Albus told her, his eyes twinkling at the startled expression on the Potion Masters face. “May I?” He asked, holding out a hand for the satchel.
Lou hugged it to herself for a bit longer, there were things in here even she had not read, things she couldn’t bring herself to read, no matter how curious she was. “I’m not sure I’m ready.”
“Lou, we can tell you what we think we know, but unless you allow us to see what you have in that satchel, we cannot confirm what are so far, nothing more than suppositions.”
Lou handed the bag to him hesitantly, her stomach in knots, her knees wobbly.
Severus took her by the arm and sat her on the sofa, sitting beside her as Albus and Kingsley sat opposite on the armchairs.
Removing the papers, Albus flipped through several of them before lifting his eyes to hers. “Firstly Louhi, let me tell you that your father was not a criminal. He did indeed spend several years in a wizarding prison called Askaban. He was falsely accused of his crime however, the true culprit is still at large. Your fathers name was Sirius, Sirius Black. His mother, who resides in the portrait in the hall, was your grandmother. He did not desert you, he did not know of your existence. Sirius was imprisoned before your mother knew she was expecting you. When your mother discovered she was pregnant, she was afraid, your father was in prison and she had no way of knowing that he was innocent, her parents, being very strict purebloods, would not have accepted her back into the fold had they know she was carrying a child. Unwed mothers are still frowned upon in the wizarding world, unfortunately. She carried you to term, but had no way of supporting you both without her family to help, so she did what she thought was best for you. She placed you with a muggle orphanage, but first she bound your magic, to save you from the ridicule you would have suffered as a magical child in a muggle world. I think also she knew that you would one day be a very powerful witch. You may even have shown a propensity to magic on the day you were born, we do not know. Lou you were not dumped, as you call it, you were placed in care because your mother thought it to be the safest option for you. You have a letter in here, one you have not yet read. Do you wish to read it now?”
Albus passed her an envelope, yellowed with age and dog eared from being handled, but the seal still unbroken.
Her hands shook so much she dropped it twice,
Severus gently took it from her and broke the seal, removing the letter and handing it back. “It is from your mother.” He told her.
She stared at the words, not seeing them, unable to focus after what she’d been told. Her hands shook more than ever and she trembled from head to foot. “I …I can’t, I can’t.” She looked at Severus pleadingly. “Will you … will you read it, to yourself, then tell me what it says?”
“If you wish.” he told her, taking the proffered missive from her still trembling hand. His eyes darted across the parchment as he read, until finally, he looked back at her.
She was watching him intently, slow tears trickling down her cheeks. “What does it say?” She asked in a broken voice.
“I really do think you should read it yourself, it ...”
“No, you do it, please.”
“Very well, if you insist.”
My dearest darling daughter
Please know that I did not mean to desert you, it was always my greatest hope that one day I would be able to return and claim you for my own. Sadly, if you are reading this, I am no longer alive to do so. But I will have you know that I love you. I loved you then, I love you now and you shall always be in my heart, even after my death.
When I first discovered there was a new life growing inside of me, I was so happy, then I discovered your father, his name is Sirius Black, was unable to be with me or offer support in any way. My own parents would not have accepted me unwed and with child and I was left with no option but to place you with the muggles. They promised to care for you, find you a good, honest family to love you and bring you up as their own. It was the best I could offer you my darling. Please know that I still continued to love you.
Even as I carried you, I knew you would be very powerful. You radiated magic through me from the time I was only five months pregnant. Torches would flare as I walked passed them, folk would be pushed aside as I approached them. You hated the dark and my belly would glow when I retired to my bed. I owned a musical box at that time, you would cause it to play and you would move about inside me, it was as though you danced to the music. It filled me with joy when you did so. When you were born, I was filled with a new joy, a joy so all consuming that I could hardly bear it.
But I was alone, alone with a beautiful child I could not care for properly, a child who deserved so much more than I could give.
You hold great magic in you my darling, so great that I was forced to use the ancient magic of my race to bind it. Your life would have been made so much harder had I not.
I am Finnish, Finland is a land of old magic. It is said that all true magic cometh from this place. You are named for our one true Goddess, Louhi.
You have the ability to shape shift, daughter of mine. You shall cast and shape the most powerful spells at will.
Your middle name Melaina, meaning dark or black. This does not mean you are dark my darling, but that you have the ability to always rise from the dark, from the blackness heralded from another that is, or would be dark. You have the power to bring forth light, and hold that light for all to see. Your light will banish the dark that tries, even now, to surround and suffocate us.
More than all of this, you are my light, my love, my heart.
So it is written, so shall it be.
May the Gods and Goddesses be with you always, as is my love.
Your mother.
Orvokki Nilsen.
Lou read the letter again, and again, and again, until the words swam across the page. She let it fall onto her lap, everything she’d ever thought, had been wrong. She hadn’t been dumped, her mum really did love her. Her dad, he didn’t even know about her, and he wasn’t a criminal, he was innocent. That meant he was out there somewhere. Her mother was dead, she’d said so in the letter. She’d been given this when she was around four years of age, while she was at her first foster home. No one ever offered to read it to her, she was told to keep it safe at all costs and nothing more. So she did, in the way of all orphans, they clung fiercely to what little truly belonged to them.
Picking up the letter, she carefully folded it, and put it back inside the envelope.
Severus looked down at her small, trembling body. The letter had choked him, Merlin only knew what it was doing to her. He slid it carefully from her fingers and passed it to Albus, then he drew her into his arms and held her against him, his chin resting on top of her head as she cried herself out into his frock coat, until she eventually cried herself to sleep. Severus felt her steady breathing against his chest, through the dampness from her tears.
“I think Headmaster, that she would be better taken to bed. This has been something of an ordeal for her.” He spoke softly, not wanting to waken her.
“You are right Severus, it is a loving, but heartbreaking letter, I am quite overcome myself after hearing it.”
“I agree Albus. It is a very haunting missive for one so young.” Kingsley added. “I for one shall not sleep easy tonight. Do you think it’s true, about her particular powers?”
“Most likely, we shall have to wait and see. Severus, we shall leave you to put her to bed, it is time I returned and I am sure Kingsley here has things he needs to do.”
“I most certainly do. Good day Severus, Albus.”
The tree men made their goodbyes and Severus carefully picked up Lou, and carried her up the stairs to her room.
Moon was waiting when he walked in and once he laid her on the bed, the elf took over.
He gave her one last parting glance and left the room.
Next morning at breakfast, she was very subdued. She made breakfast for them both, cleared up when they finished and said hardly a word.
When Severus retired to the drawing room, she followed and sat on the sofa, seemingly in a world of her own.
“What are you thinking?” He asked her.
Lou looked over to him, as if surprised that anyone was even in the room with her. “Pardon?”
“Your thoughts, they must be very deep, you have hardly uttered a word since you came downstairs.”
“I was thinking about my dad.”
He bristled at the thought of Black. He still resented, no, he still loathed the man, regardless of whether he’d been innocent or not. It rankled him that he was Lou’s father, he would have preferred she was anyone’s child but his. “What of him?”
“I just wondered if I could find him. Do you think I could, he doesn’t know about me yet, but if he did we might …”
“Lou stop.” He told her, drawing a hand down his face. ’Shit. She thinks he’s still alive.’ “Lou it is not possible.”
“It might be, my mum’s gone I know, but if I can find him, let him know that I exist he might want …”
“Lou you cannot find him, he is …he is no longer alive, I am sorry.”
He watched as her bottom lip began to tremble, she drew it into her mouth and bit nervously at it.
“How, how do you know? How did he die, when?”
“He died trying to save the life of another, you will have been around thirteen at the time. I am sorry Lou, sorry that you had to find out this way, sorry that you have lost both of your parents. I wish it could have been different for you.”
Lou left the room without a word, and he let her. If she needed to be alone, he would allow it.
To suddenly discover you had a parent, and such a short time later, find out that parent is dead, it was only last night she discovered her mother was no longer alive, today it was her father.
Maybe he should go find her after all. He paced the room, unsure what to do. He invoked the location spell on her cuff and discovered she was sitting on the stairs again. It seemed to be a place she felt safe, though he did not see how.
Maybe he should call Molly, she would most likely know what to do. There again, with Arthur at work, she might bring the red headed tribe with her, and that would include Potter and Granger. No, that wouldn’t do at all. Tonks then, she was a female. No, Kingsley said they were training new recruits this week and would be busy.
“Damn it all to hell.’ he thought. ‘He didn’t know how to deal with this, what was he supposed to do?’
Walking into the hall, he found her sat on the stairs, leaning against the stair rail and staring into space. Get up and go collect your cape, we are going out.” He told her.
“Out, where?”
“Wait and see, hurry up.”
Lou trudged up the stairs and took a cape from the wardrobe. She really didn’t feel like doing anything. Especially if it involved witch or wizard anything’s.
“Do we really have to?” She asked him as she reached the bottom step.
“Would you prefer to mope about the house all day?”
“No but …”
“Then come along.” He bent and removed the restraining cuff from her ankle and put it in his pocket, replacing it with the proximity chain and they left the house.
Lou didn’t bother asking where they were headed, she was past caring. Instead she just tried to keep up with his long legs, every so often getting a small jerk when she fail to keep up.
He noticed and slowed his step slightly. He kept forgetting about her leg now that he no longer needed to tend to it. As soon as they reached the green, he gave one last glance around before taking hold of her and Apparating.
“I hate it when you do that.” She told him, when they appeared in the Leaky Cauldron. “It makes me feel sick.”
“You will be fine. Follow me.”
Like last time, he led her into the back yard and into Diagon Alley. This time though, he allowed her to take his arm, in fact he place her hand there himself, and walked at a steady pace down the street, allowing her the opportunity to look in the shop windows.
Severus pointed out things to her, explained what they were and their uses. When they stopped outside a shop with a broom in the window she looked up at him.
“Are we buying a new sweeping brush, it’s a bit old fashioned that type. I’ve got a decent one somewhere with my things, we can use that.”
He said nothing as he led her into the shop. After purchasing two brooms, Ebony Blaze Elites, he reduced them and put them in his pocket.
“I can’t believe they give sweeping brushes names.” She told him. “And what was that funny money you paid with?”
Still he said nothing, merely smirked at her as they headed back to the Leaky Cauldron.
“Have I done something wrong again? You aren’t talking to me.”
“No you have not. We are about to Apparate again, hold on.”
Next she knew they were standing outside Hogwarts gates. “Oh no. Am I going to school now? Why didn’t you tell me? I’m not ready for this.”
“You are not starting school yet no, just come with me.”
“Well why are we here then?”
“Patience. You will find out soon enough.”
Lou scowled at his back, she hated not knowing what was going on. “Are we nearly there? We’ve been walking for ages.” She complained.
They hadn’t, it was only a few minutes walk to where they were headed, but Lou wanted to find out what he was up to. “I’m bored, what are we doing here?”
“Shut up. You will find out momentarily.”
‘Shut up? He just told her to shut up? He’d had not right to tell her to shut up.’
TBC
Please review
ccino
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