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Just Submit	By : grugster Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Hermione/Fenrir Views: 88137 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and make no money from writing this story. All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
I’m not a native speaker of English.

Thanks a lot to my betas, mrequecky, for correcting this chapter!

Dear readers,

Some of you got a bit impatient but please remember I depend on a beta!!!! English isn't my mother tongue and my original chapters are full of mistakes that first have to be checked by a beta. You always get a new chapter as soon as my beta had time to check it through! I'm already writing on chapter 37. So this story won't be abandoned!!! Please be patient!!!

AgainAndAgain

Characters: Fernir, Yorik, Hermione,Severus, Neville, Draco...

Sexual interactions: Fenrir/Hermione

Warnings: kissing, drama

Chapter 14 – Mercy

The closer they came to their flat the slower Hermione got. In the end, Fenrir had to drag her behind him. “What's wrong?” he asked impatiently.

“Please, I don't want to do it now.” Her eyes were downcast because she didn't dare to look into his face. She knew what she would find there. Anger and rejection.

Fenrir growled. “I will not discuss this here.” With that, he lifted her bridal style into his arms and carried her into his pack's flat.

Hermione felt like crying and running away, but her body reacted differently again. She was resting her head against his broad shoulder and she whispered, “I'm sorry.”

Addressing the rest of his pack who was sitting again in front of the TV, watching their stupid shows, he said, “If anyone dares to come down to my room in the next few hours, I will kill them.” Without sparing them another glance, he went down to his room. His beta deserved to worry about Hermione's odd behavior and about why he was carrying her. Fenrir couldn't stop himself from feeling jealous. It was no problem to share her with Yorik, but Fenrir wanted to be number one.

He placed her on the bed and immediately started to kiss her. She didn't react, and after a few minutes Fenrir growled, frustrated. “What's the matter?” Fenrir asked. “Why did you let Yorik touch you and not me?”

Hermione felt miserably. “I don't know. I don't understand myself.”

Angrily Fenrir let himself fall down on his back. “So he is your number one mate, right? Your soul-mate. You just don't dare to tell me!”

Hermione's heart felt as if it was getting squeezed tightly. She leaned over and placed her head on his chest. “I'm sorry. I can't explain it. It's not like you think. I don't know why I reacted the way I did when Yorik was with me, but I know that you are more important to me.”

Fenrir snorted. “That's your human mind speaking again. It seems the wolf just wants to talk with Yorik and not me. Maybe your wolf doesn't want me at all to be her mate. I need to accept that.”

Hermione could feel Fenrir's anger and pain in those words, and when he grabbed the arm that she had sneaked around him and pushed her away, something broke in her soul. She sat up and looked shocked at his angry face. She had made her mate angry because of her damn fear. He was pushing her away. “It's not like this, Fenrir! I swear. You are the one I love the most.” Hermione felt something shift in her mind, and she became angry out of frustration and emotionally pain. “You don't understand anything, Fenrir. I saw my best friends die only yesterday. You know what's funny? I can't feel any emotions attached to the pictures that I have of their death in my head.” She hit her head violently as if she wanted to shake the memories out of it. There is nothing but blankness when I think about my dead parents, my former life and Hogwarts. There are just pictures, no emotions. Do you know how that feels? I'm fucking scared. Something isn't right with me. I behave strangely and can't explain it to myself when my mind clears up again. You are mad at me for doing something to Yorik I can't explain and would love to undo. You accuse me for things I can't control, and you push me and push me and push me!!!” She was screaming now; then she shook her head and pulled at her hair.

Fenrir was shocked and kept looking at her. He wasn't able to react or say anything, even though he wanted nothing more than to tell her that he wasn't angry at her but at him for not being strong enough to be chosen by her as her mate. When Hermione stood up, crying, and ran into the small bathroom, he wasn't able to stop her. And then pure hate took over, he had no control of his wolf any longer. The wolf wanted to hurt himself for his failure and that he did.

Hermione could hear a howl that was so heartbreaking she couldn't breath. She locked the door and climbed under the sink. Her heart was hurting. When the loud crashing started, she jerked with each thud. Then angry voices floated threw the door and a few seconds later snarling and growling followed. Hermione shivered and her face was wet of tears. She knew Fenrir was fighting with Yorik now. A pitiful whine came from Fenrir's bedroom, and Hermione's heart broke completely. It was all her fault. Fenrir thought she didn't want him and was broken. Yorik and Fenrir were fighting, and Hermione knew that it was Yorik who was whimpering so pitiful now. She had destroyed Fenrir's pack; her pack. She closed her hands over her ears, and she felt something happening in her body, but couldn't put a finger on it.

Hermione didn't realize when the door to the bathroom crashed down beside her. She also didn't notice Miller pulling her out from under the sink. Her head felt like it was filled with cotton wool. She knew there should be noises but she couldn't hear anything. That she was moved from one place to another, was the only thing she noticed, but not where she was and why she was there. When she was led up to the living room, she didn't see the big gray wolf with the white line on his back holding a snarling silver-gray wolf down by his neck and a brown wolf laying motionlessly in one of the corners of the room with Severus over him. She did not even realize that Amaris and Morgan were there, even though Amaris had taken her hand.

She was placed on the couch, Amaris at her side, until Miller took her place to get an IV into Hermione. Then Hermione's world went black.

///

Her head hurt, and she heard a rushing sound in her ears. The room she woke up in wasn't pitch black, a bit of moonlight was casting a dim light. She could hear someone breathing beside her, and she panicked. Where was she?

“Hermione?”

Someone grabbed for her, and she could hear a muffled voice. Frantically she fought against the blanket that was trapping her with whomever she was with.

“Hermione, you need to stop. You will hurt yourself.”

Again that muffled voice and hands were all over her. She ripped at the thing that was pushing her down.

“Severus, she is awake. She is...”

“I can see that, Neville,” Severus said grumpily while he tried to orientate himself to find his wand.

When a light was blending her, she stopped struggling and shrieked.

“Hermione, it's me Neville. Please calm down,” Neville whimpered.

“Stop touching her,” Severus instructed while he fumbled in his nightstand.

A hand grabbed her arm from her right side, not the side where most of the muffled voice had come from. She tried to pull her arm away, but she was too weak. Something stung her in the inside of her elbow and shortly after her world went black again.

///

The next time she woke, someone was holding her hand. The hand didn't stop her when she pulled her hand back forcefully.

“Hermione? It's me Neville,” Neville said fearfully.

Hermione felt the bed dip down at her other side. “Miss Granger?”

“Professor?” Hermione asked and blinked against the bright light. Slowly Snape came into focus.

“Head beta,” Severus said and eyed her closely.

She looked puzzled at him.

“What can you remember, Hermione,” Severus asked and felt her pulse.

“I... My head hurt, everything is strange.”

Severus sighed. “I know. You should rest.” He was looking at her as if she had a deathly illness.

“No, please tell me. Where am I. What's wrong.”

“Your alpha wants to see you. He is worried. Would you allow him to see you?”

“Alpha?”

Severus lowered his eyes and then looked over at someone beside Hermione. “I need to go and inform the head alpha. Please stay with her.” He stood up and looked crestfallen at her again. “Try to rest, Hermione. Your brain needs time.”

When Severus was out of the room, Hermione turned around. “Neville? Draco?” Her head hurt. Pictures of the arena flooded threw her brain. Pictures of Fenrir carrying her. She grabbed her head. It was all so confusing. Nothing made sense.

“You need to rest, like Severus said,” Neville said. Big tears were running over his face.

When Hermione looked at Draco, she saw tears in his eyes as well.

“What happened? What's wrong?”

“Fenrir went berserk. He—”

“Neville, no. I don't think it is good to tell her. She isn't ready for it,” Draco said and with his arm around Neville's stomach, he pulled the boy closer to him.

That movement made Hermione aware of how intimately both were sitting together. More pictures flooded her mind. Pictures of her sitting with them on the couch in a big room, Draco lifting his shirt... “No please tell me. I need to know. There are so many pictures in my head but they make no sense.”

Draco looked sadly at her. He fought with himself about whether he should tell her or not. “Something happened in your room. Fenrir has destroyed all his furniture and then Yorik and he had a fight. They found you in the bathroom, not reacting to anything.”

Fenrir. Yorik. She could see there faces in her mind, but it was confusing because she couldn't place any emotions with the faces. She closed her eyes when she started to cry without knowing why. “What's wrong with me?”

“Severus and Miller say you locked in your wolf somewhere very, very deep within yourself and you have placed several thick doors in front of that cell you locked her in. Severus has used Legilimence on you in hope to open the doors, but he couldn't. You are no wolf at the moment just your human side. Before that happened the wolf had already taken over and had changed your human side. That's why you feel so confused and weak now. You can't live without your wolf.”

“Can't live without...” She stopped trying to analyze those words.

“You are dying. If you don't let your wolf free again, you will die,” Neville said against the lump in his throat.

Hermione stared at Neville. She had heard his words, but they didn't make sense. Her brain wasn't working like it normally did. She saw Draco placing a kiss on Neville's shoulders. When Draco looked up at her, she could see that tears were running over his cheeks as well.

“We don't want to loose you,” Draco said miserably.

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long do I have?”

Draco looked down. He didn't want to answer that question.

“Please tell me. I need to know.”

“Two days... maximum.”

She would die in two days. Two days. She felt nothing about that. She was just laying there, staring at the ceiling.

“Hermione, you need to let the wolf out again. You like Fenrir don't you? He is in a very bad condition. The head alpha forced him to stay with him for two nights and even now that he is back in your rooms, he is not really acting as an alpha. He doesn't eat. He looks horrible.” Neville gulped. “Yorik is still in the hospital with Miller. They are thinking about forcing Fenrir to move there as well. Fenrir has asked for you a hundred times. He has pleaded and whined to be allowed to speak with you, to apologize to you. He looks as if he has aged fifty years. He isn't caring for his pack. Amaris and Morgan are unprotected at the moment. They hardly leave their rooms.”

Something snapped in Hermione's chest, and she felt a burning. Amaris and Morgan. She needed to take care of them. She needed to make them safe.

“Yorik is fighting Miller and Severus all the time to be let out to take care of the pack until Fenrir will be alright again, but they have restrained him to the bed, because he still has a lot of injuries that need to heal.”

Yorik, sweet stupid Yorik. She saw him in her mind while he was looking at her with that puppy dog look and while he was squeezing his eyes in bliss when they had enjoyed their time in Fenrir's bed. She needed to sooth his pain. She needed to see him. The pain in her chest became worse, and the burning was starting to get unbearable. She could hardly breath. She could hear snapping sounds within herself. Dizziness overcame her.

Now Draco took over from Neville, because Neville had lost his fight against his sobs. “Fenrir is weak. If the head alpha hadn't interfered, Roland would have beaten him up and taken over his pack. Fenrir didn't even defend himself. He is broken. He thinks it is all his fault. The whole clan is nervous and frightened about what will come now. When you die, Fenrir will kill himself. The eldest are speaking a lot with the head alpha and Severus lately. I think they are already working out a strategy to not loose their most important dominant beside the head alpha.”

Fenrir. Her mate. He was in pain because of her. He was suffering. She needed to soothe his pain. She needed to kiss all his worry away. She needed to wash his head so he would act like an alpha again and take care of Morgan, Amaris and the poor hurt Yorik. They needed him. She needed him. More snapping and overwhelming feelings. She heard screaming. Loud frightening screaming. Finally she realized it was herself who was screaming, and then the screams turned into shouting. The shouting of one name again and again – Fenrir.

The door burst open, and Severus tried to wriggle her down. Ages was close beside him, staring at her in worry. Neville hid his face in Draco's chest, crying and wishing that Hermione would be alright and stop the pitiful screaming and shouting. Draco was paler than he had ever been. He could only hug Neville, not draw calming circles or speak soothing words. He was too frightened himself. It looked as if Hermione was dying in front of their eyes.

Miller stormed into the room as well and dared to push his head alpha aside in his haste to help Hermione.

Hermione couldn't hear what they were saying to her. She struggled hard against Severus to keep an eye on the door. She needed to be with Fenrir. So she didn't hear Severus' pleas for his head alpha to take the boys out of the room. She couldn't see Neville and Draco shaking their heads when Ages looked over to them. The only thing she could feel or smell now was Fenrir. Far away, but moving in her direction. She tried to concentrate on that feeling and the pain in her chest lessened.

Still, hands were trying to press her down, and she started to snarl at the person that was holding her. The hands shortly stilled in surprise, but quickly started to push her down again. Hermione couldn't see anything. It was as if she was looking through milky glass. But the more she concentrated the more she could smell and sense things around her. Neville's and Draco's fear, Severus' desperation and helplessness, Miller's and Ages' worries...

A voice from the door caused her to try to concentrate to finally see something. She didn't know that voice. It was old, very old. The voice was commanding Severus to let go of her, and he obeyed. Hermione felt her mouth still moving, but the screams and shouts she was hearing seemed to come from far away. She could smell Fenrir now even more, and she started to feel excited. It made her facial muscles turn into a smile and the screaming stopped and only the shouts of Fenrir's name escaped her again and again. Then he was there. Pure bliss, pure relief floated through her. “Fenrir,” she whispered and finally she could hear her voice. It was hoarse from all the screaming. She lifted her arms like a toddler to be taken up. Her vision cleared slowly and the shadow that had come closer now was getting sharp edges and colors, and finally she could see Fenrir's face.

She was shocked. How long had she been ill? Fenrir looked as if he had been starved for weeks. Shocked, she cupped his cheeks with her hands and started to cry. “Fenrir? My Fenrir?”

Fenrir was staring at her. His beautiful mate had called for him and now was looking at him with a passion and did he dare to say love. She was beautiful, and the moment he had heard his name on her lips his will to live had come back to him and he ran like the devil himself was behind him to reach her. He had been outside in the cold yard like so often during the last five days that Hermione had been ill – dying. “My pup,” he said his voice almost giving out, when he cupped her hands with his. “I'm sorry, pup.”

“No, I'm sorry.” With that Hermione started to lean over and kiss her mate. She wanted to kiss everything good again. She wanted to make him feel better. “I love you.” Hermione was surprised about her words, but they felt so right. Something was doing flip flops in her chest. She could smell her mate, she could feel his worry and his true regret over whatever. She couldn't place a finger on it. All she knew was that she wanted him to be okay again.

Neither Hermione nor Fenrir saw the old woman usher all the others outside with her cane. Severus was reluctant to go and got a hit on his head with the wooden cane for that. In the end, Hermione and Fenrir were alone. They kissed for what seemed hours, and Fenrir was laying half over her now, caressing her face and hair while exploring her mouth with his tongue as if there was no tomorrow. He had his soul mate back. He could feel the connection so strongly, that he wanted to beat himself for not realizing it before and for pushing his little pup too far. This was going to change right now. He would change. He would do anything to make his pup happy.

After around half an hour both fell asleep, Fenir with his arm over Hermione's chest, holding her tight, and Hermione's hand still resting on Fenrir's head from the kissing. Both their wolves were happy while their human bodies slept peacefully in the embrace of the other one.
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