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Consequences and Complexities	By : ckllsdam Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 16322 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and canon situations belong to the Harry Potter fandom and JKRowling. Plot and OCs are mine. I make no money from this work.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Chapter 14 � Needs
It had been five weeks since Draco had confessed his deeply
buried feelings for Hermione in a moment of both clarity and desperation. While
the great weight of denial had been lifted from his shoulders, the burden of
guilt for the consequences of his feelings had not been relieved. He felt that
he was living a �two steps forward, three steps back� existence with regard to
his emotional and psycho-sexual health. Both of his therapists had been
especially watchful and diligent about his guidance through a difficult period
and had been careful not to push too hard for additional breakthroughs that the
young man wouldn�t be able to absorb.
Therefore, Kate Roy had been suitably stunned when Draco
raised a question during their most recent therapy session�
�Dr. Kate, you�ve told
me a few times that my sexual experience and� situation are outside the norm
for a man of my age, and I certainly appreciate that what I�ve done and been
manipulated to do are not the usual path, by a very long stretch. Can you help
me understand what is normal in terms
of the sexual needs and experience of a bloke in his early twenties?�
That he would raise
such a proactive question was quite out of character with the reticent young
man she�d come to know, and it made her desperately curious about his
motivation. �Before I answer that specifically, let me ask a question or two of
you. What�s prompting you to ask this?� she wondered.
Draco had blushed from
neck to hairline before opening his mouth to reply. �I�ve just been feeling
more� interested in sexual things lately,� he hedged. �And I wondered if what I
was feeling was� aberrant in some way,� he added in a rush.
�Do you feel like your
reactions are aberrant?� she probed.
�I, uh, don�t think
so, but I don�t really know,� Draco confessed. �That�s why I wanted some
perspective from you.�
�Tell me more about
what you�ve been feeling,� she ordered, gently.
He sighed
dramatically, stalling as much as the long breath allowed. �I seem to be�
aroused more often and less�ambivalent about it. I�m taking fewer cold
showers.�
�Ah. So you�re �giving
in� to the urge more often?� she interpreted.
�Yes,� he replied
without elaboration.
�And why does that
feel �aberrant� to you?�
�Well, I�m not sure
that it does. It�s just that it�s� out of the norm for my typical behavior. I
want to make sure that I�m heading in the right direction and not falling
backwards in my progress.� He stared at his shoes, but the worry lines in his
forehead could not be disguised.
�Draco, look at me,�
Kate commanded. When his sad eyes met hers, she beamed at him like a proud
mother at her babe�s first steps. �This is totally normal and healthy. As long
as you�re not getting aroused by violence or harm, you�re doing just fine. In
fact, it�s what I�ve been hoping to hear from you for quite some time.�
�Oh, no, nothing like that!� he hastened to tell her. �It�s been my� usual
stimulus, just stronger and more often.�
�Okay, there�s nothing
wrong with that. I know how opposed you are to finding other female
companionship, so we�re not going to travel that path for the moment. But it�s
certainly a healthy development that you are accepting and acting on your urges
with less reluctance.�
�Good,� he responded,
breathing a deep sigh of relief. �I was a little worried that I was becoming
overly� obsessed with it.�
�Well, how often are
we talking about here?� she probed, with just a hint of teasing in her tone.
�Uh, a few times a
week.�
�What�s �a few?��
�Five, six, maybe,� he
said with a gulp.
�Oh, Draco, you don�t
know how thoroughly normal you are,� she praised.
�Well, actually,
that�s the point. I really don�t. That�s what I was hoping you could help me
understand,� he pled earnestly.
This had been the
first time the young man had actually sought out substantive knowledge about
sexuality rather than being spoon-fed information on an as-needed basis and
Kate knew what a dramatic leap this had been for him. Their first year of
sessions had been almost entirely devoted to repairing his battered emotional
health to a point where he could accept that he �deserved� to be a healthy,
sexual being. This was a breakthrough of massive proportion, on the heels of
his previous major success in acknowledging his feelings for Miss Granger. Kate
was heartened that there was real hope for a full emotional recovery from his
long and harrowing ordeal.
�Did your parents
really teach you so little about what it meant to be� male?� she marveled.
�We�ve spoken about
how traditional and conservative my family is, Doc. Surely,
you know the answer to that question,� Draco scoffed.
�I suppose I do. And
sadly, it�s a far too common approach in rearing children. On one level, I
suppose I should be grateful as it keeps me employed. But the altruist in me
wants young people to grow up healthy and knowledgeable about one of the most
basic functions of life. Sad, really,� she concluded.
�I don�t disagree, but
we have to deal with it as it is rather than how we would wish it to be, don�t
we?�
�You know, Draco,
there are times when you are so very, very young in your thinking and others
when you are wise well beyond your years,� the therapist observed, eyeing the
wizard with fondness. �But to answer your question, the definition of �normal�
is remarkably broad. Sexuality comes in many forms, and people like what they
like and do what they do for many different reasons. The key is to ensure that
the behavior is not unwelcome or harmful to an individual or their partner.�
�So you�re saying that
as long as both partners are accepting of a sexual behavior, then it�s
considered normal?� Draco summarized incredulously. �What about the sick things
my aunt used to do?�
�Well, if her partner
was willing, then fundamentally, yes. If the partner was unwilling, it
classifies as abnormal, or even criminal in many circumstances, such as if the
behavior is forced in any way, coerced under the influence of a drug or
alcohol, or with threat of bodily harm. There really are only a few behaviors
that are truly considered thoroughly taboo in our society. In addition to
forced sexual activity, they include bestiality, incest, and pedophilia, things
like that which are really on the fringe.�
�So I should consider
myself normal if I get aroused and, uh, self-gratify a few times a week by the
thought of someone that I�m attracted to,� he concluded. He pushed away with
great force the memory of the night he�d taken the Dark Mark and what his aunt
had done to him in the name of ritual. It had not been his behavior; it had been
hers.
�Absolutely. Red-blooded, one hundred
percent, normal man. The only thing abnormal about that scenario would
be if you didn�t do it at all � which you have clearly overcome � or if you
were doing it constantly throughout the day, to the point where it interfered
with your ability to function in normal society.�
�You mean, like if I
were� doing it three or four times a day?� He seemed somehow both appalled and
fascinated by the idea.
�Yeah, something like that.� She smiled at his stunned expression. �Even that
wouldn�t be considered enough for intervention in most cases, especially if we
were talking about a sixteen year old boy. A bit much, but not really
�aberrant� to borrow your word.� She watched as he nodded solemnly.
�Doc, I have another
question, or maybe it�s a�concern,� he began. At her encouraging nod, Draco
continued. �When I was under the potions, I did many horrible things. I�m
thankful that I really don�t remember most of them, but� what if they influence
my sexual behavior in the future? What if I� revert to those horrible things?�
�What are your
fantasies and urges like now? What kinds of images and feelings get you
aroused?� she asked in a matter-of-fact way.
He thought for only a
moment before flashes began to fill his brain. �Her image.
Hermione�s face, especially her smile, and body. Kissing her. Making love with her.�
�Then I don�t think
you have anything to worry about. Unless you are chasing away violent or
disturbing thoughts, what you�re focusing on is pretty tame.�
He shook his head in
denial at her caveat. �No, anything spontaneous is very� pleasant. I know we�ve
talked a little about deliberate fantasy, but I really haven�t�� His voice
trailed away as he doubted his readiness to move to that milestone in his
healing.
�I think that you will
be ready to take that step very, very soon, Draco. You�ve shown remarkable
emotional progress in the last few weeks, and we�ve already covered the
guidelines. I think you should consider a first attempt before our next
appointment.�
That pronouncement by Kate Roy had Draco in his current
state of anxiety. He had only two more days before their next meeting and
hadn�t yet worked up the courage to take that next big step in his healing and
development process. The assignment, as he understood it, was to deliberately
create a sexual fantasy about the subject of his choice until he felt aroused.
Whether he took it any further was optional. In his head, he could hear Dr.
Kate�s frequent teasing admonition, �Why waste a perfectly good erection?� He
groaned aloud at the thought, causing one of his co-workers to look at him in
perplexity.
�What�s wrong with you?� the other night shift waiter, Gerry
Lake, asked.
Draco, mortified to be caught thinking about his sex
problems while at work, quickly sought a plausible excuse for his vocalization.
�I, uh, forgot to add the sour cream side order for the last plate I delivered.
Better go get it now before I get tied up with something else.� He excused
himself quickly and dashed to the back of the kitchen, then to the Men�s Room
for a brief respite. He locked the door and moved to the small porcelain sink
to splash cold water on his face. He glanced at the inexpensive Timex
wristwatch he�d bought at a local discount store. Two more
hours on his shift. While he really enjoyed his job, he couldn�t wait
for quitting time tonight; his mind was clearly elsewhere.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hermione was busy � busier than she could ever recall being,
even in the depths of the war, even as she�d struggled with the intense
challenges of deciphering often-conflicting clues about Horcruxes. She�d not
anticipated how taxing it would be to study the art and science of Healing
while caring for an infant. Lucius and Narcissa had helped � often � but Louisa
was her baby, her responsibility; she�d not shirk that duty in any way, ever.
Even as she�d told her friends, and Louisa�s grandparents,
the truth about how much she loved and adored her daughter, there were days
when she couldn�t help but feel the tiniest thread of glumness. If Louisa had
not been born, her life would be undeniably easier. That was a source of
self-recrimination and guilt. She forced it down, swallowed it, ignored it, and
buried it under her busyness.
When she got home from her classes this afternoon, she saw
that another two or three scrolls of parchment had been added to the growing
stack of messages that littered the top of the desk in the small study that
Lucius had furnished as part of her suite on the second floor of the East Wing.
She sighed tiredly, resolving to deal with them the next morning. Tonight, she
was just too exhausted and still had a three-foot homework scroll to complete
on the physiology of the human nervous system. Louisa�s restlessness on the
previous night had meant little sleep for Mum; she thought the child might be
developing an ear infection, if her periodic tugging and crying had been any
indication. Just one more thing to deal with. She knew
she could call on Anjie for a potion to give the child, but she felt even
guiltier when she delegated elements of Louisa�s care to the resident house-elf
nanny. She�d suck it up and make the potion herself. It would also serve as
practice for her Medical Potions class. �Multi-tasking,� she murmured aloud,
�the story of my life.�
Hermione�s mood shifted quickly and dramatically when she
opened the door to Louisa�s nursery. Her baby was in her crib, balancing on
hands and knees, rocking back and forth as if trying to build momentum for a
forward lurch. She lifted her head as she heard the door open and saw the
approach of her mother. �Mmmm. Mmmmm,�
she cooed happily as Hermione approached.
Hermione�s stomach churned for a moment; she hated when she
wallowed in self-pity. This beautiful child, who loved her so thoroughly and
whom she truly adored with every fiber, needed her and wanted her. She felt a
smile creep from the depths of her heart and she reached out for the girl,
lifting her from her crib and cradling her tight to her chest. �Hello, my
little precious. Did you miss Mummy?� she whispered. �Are you feeling better,
baby? Does your ear still hurt?� she asked, certainly not expecting an answer.
She was stunned to hear a reply.
�Missy Louisa feels better,� the tiny grey-green nanny
reported.
�Anjie! You startled me! How do you
know?�
�Not tugging anymores,� she
answered with a simple shrug. �Anjie giveses her the
potion Missy Narcissa used to giveses to little Draco
when he tuggeded at earses.
Better than the ones we hadses for
Master Lucius when he was littles.�
�Oh,� Hermione breathed, tears swimming in her eyes.
The tiny elf stared wide-eyed. �Is okay, Missy Hermione, sheses all better now,� she reassured, not understanding
that the very fact was the source of the young witch�s distress.
�I know, Anjie. Thank you for taking care of her. I, I� just
should have been here to help her,� she sniffed.
�Is my job when yous nots here, Missy. I promise I takes
really good cares of her. I hads five families of
Malfoys,� she said, proudly touting her long experience, as she often reminded
the young mother.
�And I trust you completely, Anjie, I promise,� Hermione
answered. �My� issue is something else. It�ll be� fine.�
The wizened creature had seen many fascinating relationships
between parents and children in her century of caring for Malfoy offspring.
Though still young for a house-elf, Anjie�s
experience as a Wizarding world nanny far outstripped that of any five Muggle
counterparts, combined. While she�d not seen this particular combination of
anxiety and guilt � working mothers were quite the oddity in pureblood circles
- a young mother�s worry and self-doubt were not new to her. She was remarkably
intuitive and keenly observant. Her lacking grammar and diction skills did not
make her a mental light-weight; she was simply uneducated in that discipline.
Her ability in childcare and in hand-holding for nervous parents was, without
dispute, top form. Lucius Malfoy would have never allowed his granddaughter to
be cared for by anyone other than his own trusted nanny, the beloved creature
who had aided in caring for him and for his own son since the day each had been
born. Thus, Anjie felt eminently confident in her insights and actions.
�Missy Hermione, you has to lets peoples help you with
Little Missy Louisa. You works hard at everythings you does. You needs rests to be bestest for you and your baby and your studyings.
I can helps and I wants to helps. Don�t be sads when you gets helps. Is
because you is loved by us that we helps you,� she finished, reaching up to pat
the young witch lightly on the arm that was still wrapped tightly around her
little girl. Twisting her thin lips into something that resembled an indulgent
smile, she disappeared with a faint popping sound, leaving the two witches
alone in the nursery.
Hermione was taken aback to hear the house-elf�s
pronouncement. She didn�t doubt that the Malfoys had developed some affection
for her. Living in such close proximity for nearly a year and a half would
likely mean some level of feeling would have grown; she was immensely grateful and
pleased that they�d all gone positive rather than toward the contempt that such
familiarity could have bred. Still, to hear from the sweet creature that she
was loved by the members of the
household was positively overwhelming. That, added to all the other emotions
swirling in her heart, prompted an onslaught of tears.
Louisa patted her mother�s face with chubby hands, seeing
and sensing her turmoil. Her cool grey eyes narrowed with concern and Hermione huffed a deep breath to wrest control back of her wayward emotions.
�It�s okay, baby. Mummy�s just feeling a little overwrought
today. Everything�s going to be fine,� she said through her tears, silently
adding �I hope� to the declaration.
She sat in the rocking chair, her little one hugged tight to
her chest, for long minutes after.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Narcissa sipped a cup of Darjeeling tea and nibbled on a blueberry
scone while Lucius recounted his latest conversation with their son. The two
men had spoken earlier in the day and only now had her husband had time to
share the latest news from Salem.
�He didn�t give me much detail, but it�s apparent that he�s
had a couple of major breakthroughs recently in his therapy. He was most
pleased about the fact that he�s made progress, but I couldn�t help but feel
that there was an undercurrent there � something that he�s still troubled over.�
�No clues at all about the nature of this breakthrough?�
Narcissa pressed.
�None that he said, but I�ve come to learn that when he
fails to give me specifics, it�s likely related to Hermione or� the other
thing,� he hedged.
�Oh for Merlin�s sake, Lucius, don�t
be ridiculous. I�m not that delicate; I won�t be offended if you say that it�s
about his sex therapy. Mind you, I wouldn�t ever want details of any sort, but
I recognize that�s an important part of his treatment need.� She set her tea
cup in its saucer and placed them on the side table.� �That said, I can�t help but think that if
families were a little more open and honest about sex that he wouldn�t have
some of the problems that he does today.�
�We both know that the bulk of his problems stem from Bella�s
interference in his late teen years. Even if I had been more� communicative
about sex with him, he was flat-out potioned for five
years. He probably wouldn�t have remembered or truly understood anything I told
him,� Lucius argued.
�But if we�d been more insistent about knowing what was
going on in his life, we might have found out sooner what was happening with
Bella and Rod and prevented some of the damage that was done,� she retorted,
her old anger from her husband�s long association with the Dark Side
resurfacing. �I refuse to believe that if you � we � had truly known all the
things he was getting up to, that we�d have ignored it.�
�Narcissa, I refuse
to allow either of us to wallow in any more guilt over this, either. I fully
accepted my part of the blame for what happened during that first year that
Bella got her hooks into him, but what�s done is done. The situation then was
positively horrible and I couldn�t see a way out of it. Once I came to my
senses � admittedly, with your persistent persuasion - we both did everything
we could for nearly four years to find ways out of our predicament. And while I
wish we�d been successful far sooner, there were some incredibly daunting
challenges that we had to overcome. It�s over, and has been for nearly a year
and a half. He�s healing, slowly but surely. Your boy may not be back fully
yet, but he will be,� Lucius promised. �Have faith in him; he�s earned it.�
�I do! Of course I do. It just� frustrates and pains me that
we can�t be nearer, to help him through his rough spots,� she bemoaned.
�Cissy, I talk with him at least
five times a week and you do at least that often. We visit every six or eight
weeks. Considering the circumstances, that�s not infrequent contact. He knows
very well that he can use the Floo to call any time he needs us. He�s not been
shy about reaching out.�
She sighed dramatically. �I know. Draco has been very diligent
about keeping his Floo open to us and calling when he needs to. I just� I wish I�� She trailed off, unable to articulate what was bubbling
in her heart.
Lucius wasn�t sure how to ease his wife�s concerns other
than to give her more information about their son�s latest progress, so he
offered what little additional detail he knew. �Draco did say that he felt much
more at peace with his feelings after his latest sessions, so whatever
conclusions he�s come to have yielded a positive result rather than some of the
turmoil he experienced with other issues.�
�I wish he�d been a bit more forthcoming so that we
understood what was happening to him,� she complained.
�I�m sure you do, Cissy, as do I.
But we have to remember that he is a young man now and he is deliberately trying
to claim his own life. I can�t fault him for that.�
�Except for the not-so-little manipulations we�ve
perpetrated. As much as I think it�s the right thing to do in the long run, I
can�t help but be concerned that he�ll resent our interference.�
��And I don�t
completely disagree with you on that bit, but I feel quite content that the
outcome is something that he will want more than anything else on the earth or
in the heavens. He may not tell me much in the way of details, but I�ve learned
to read between the lines, and I am thoroughly confident that I�ve read his
feelings and desires on this accurately.�
�Which tells me that you�ve still hidden things
from me, Lucius.�
�Only in the things that he�s either told me under vows or
what I�ve interpreted and extrapolated as a result of that information. Please,
Narcissa, allow a man and his son their confidences and bonds,� he pleaded. �It�s
important, to both of us.�
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
By the time Draco made it home at the end of his shift, he�d
sworn that the day had had thirty hours already pass. He was exhausted, dirty,
and distracted. Having managed to refocus sufficiently to get through the rest
of the evening, he was now anxious to let the stresses of the day go so that he
could focus on the stresses of his life. Like his pending assignment.
At least hunger wasn�t a problem. He�d managed to snag a decent
bite to eat in the kitchen during a lull in patron traffic; Draco had developed
a taste for the delicate baked white fish he�d learned was called �haddock�
that was prepared nightly by the Head Chef. He smiled as he recalled the elder
man telling him the simplest secret for preparing it to perfection. �It�s a
simple dish with just a bit of lemon, dill, salt and pepper,� he�d said. �For
God�s sake, please don�t ever overcook it! Take it out of the oven two minutes
before you think it�s done.�
Draco had been spending more of his time in the kitchen
lately, and was fascinated by how much technique and knowledge was required to
prepare proper meals. He�d watched, asked questions, and even offered to help
out with simple prep work in a pinch. It was� enjoyable, and surprisingly relaxing.
He�d started to practice by making meals for himself at home on his days off,
with increasing success. He�d told his father that the process of following a
recipe was not unlike working with potions, and it filled that void in his life
quite well. He�d been thinking about asking the restaurant�s owner to allow him
a few shifts in the kitchen, to see if he might like the work enough to become
a line cook or sous chef someday.
Now, however, the only thing he wanted was a hot shower and
some comfortable clothes. The temperatures had started to moderate from the
still-chilly early spring range and it wasn�t unusual now to see day warm
enough to go without a jacket or jumper. Draco pulled a well-worn pair of blue
jeans, cotton socks and a pair of boxers from his dresser, and a light green
oxford shirt from his closet before heading to the bathroom.
Lights flickered on as he crossed the threshold, setting his
clean clothing on the countertop that he passed on the way to the tub. He
reached in and turned on the tap for hot water, pausing for a moment as he
considered whether a shower or bath would be in order. If he showered, he could
get cleaned up more quickly and settle in with a cup of tea and the book he was
so close to finishing. Yes, a shower it would be, he decided. Stripping off his
food-stained white shirt and black work pants took seconds and undergarments
followed them into the basket that held his dirty laundry. He�d have to wash clothes
tomorrow, he noted.
A quick check with his hand through the plastic curtain
confirmed that the water was sufficiently hot and he stepped in, dipping his
head under the spray to wet his hair. He blindly reached for the shampoo bottle
he knew rested on the wall shelf to his right and poured a dollop into his hand
once he managed to get the flip-open top to cooperate. He scrubbed away the day�s
grime, suds flying and trailing down his neck and chest as he vigorously
massaged his scalp. Another dip of his head into the spray rinsed the shampoo
away and he grabbed the bar of soap from its tray, working up lather between
his hands and scrubbing them over his body from neck to feet. He turned slowly,
allowing the hot water to rinse away the soap and dirt and paused for a moment
to allow the soothing spray to pulse on his tired shoulders and back. Only long
Quidditch games had been a better workout than carrying around heavy food trays
all day. �
Finally feeling sufficiently clean, Draco stepped out of the
tub and reached for a towel, drying his hair quickly and then wrapping the
large rectangle of terrycloth around his hips. He wasn�t planning to go
anywhere tonight, so he�d forego shaving the little bit of stubble that had
grown since early morning, but a thorough tooth-brushing was absolutely
necessary. Teeth, gums, tongue, rinse, spit. Ahhh. He inspected the
results in the mirror and pronounced himself satisfied with the shiny, fresh,
finished product. He dragged a comb through his soft, fine hair and released
the knot from his towel, reaching down to wipe away the few water droplets that
clung to the sparse hair on his legs.
Five minutes later, he was fully dressed, choosing to walk
around in his stocking feet rather than add shoes for an evening that he hoped
would be primarily devoted to reading and relaxation. It was too early and he
was still too tense to consider� other things.
He ventured to the kitchen and put a kettle on to brew water
for tea. While he waited for the liquid to come to a boil, he rummaged in the
cupboard for a little snack. He wasn�t terribly hungry, but it had been a
couple of hours since his meal at the Grapevine, so he wanted something to
nibble on. His inventory revealed a tin of chocolate biscuits, a half a bag of
crisps, two bananas, a green apple, and an unopened bag of a horribly guilty
pleasure he�d discovered in a Muggle grocery � Cheez Doodles.
Yummy, but not what he wanted tonight. He grabbed one of the bananas and three
chocolate biscuits from the tin, placing the peeled fruit and sweet treats on a
small plate.
A short moment later, the kettle began to whistle, informing
Draco that the water was ready to add to his mug. Earl Grey tea waited in an
infuser ball and the aroma of the slightly sharp brew wafted up as the boiling
water filled the crockery cup. Four minutes for steeping and a single cube of
sugar made the brew just perfect.
Draco placed his mug and plate on the table beside the easy chair
beside the fireplace and lifted his book from the spot where he had left it the
night before. He settled in to the comfortable seat and propped his feet up on
the needlepoint footstool, crossing his legs at the ankles. A few sips of tea,
a couple of nibbles of biscuit, a bite or two of banana and forty minutes
later, Draco felt his eyes begin to get heavy with fatigue. Rather than fight
it, he decided to give in to the inevitable and pushed out of the chair to head
to his bedroom, leaving the book and dishes behind in the sitting room.
He made a quick trip to the loo and
finally into the bedroom, removing his shirt, jeans and socks and leaving them
on the chest at the foot of the bed. He�d only worn them for an hour, at most,
so they�d be fine for the next morning. Climbing into the bed, he rested his
head and shoulders on two fluffed pillows. He closed his eyes and waited for slumber
to come. And waited. And waited.
And waited. An hour later, his eyes snapped open as he
realized that his fatigue was not quickly translating to sleep.
As is the common consequence for one unable to find rest, Draco�s
thoughts began to wander to the events of the day and the concerns that
occupied his brain. When he finally admitted to himself that he was both
avoiding and anticipating the one thing he really did need to think about, it
was impossible to think of anything else. He mentally reviewed the assignment
he�d been given, with its rapidly approaching deadline: purposely create a
sexual fantasy that produced a full erection; taking it to completion was
optional. He knew that his therapist would be satisfied with his progress if he
achieved the former, thrilled if he managed the latter.
Determined to not allow himself to feel guilt or shame over
what he was about to do, Draco settled more deeply into his pillows and closed
his eyes, this time to conjure appropriate imagery. His dreams were always
filled with Hermione, and his memory was able to furnish a remarkably accurate
picture of her naked form. He had long since edited out the bruises and cuts
that had marred her skin when he�d last seen her in the flesh; to do anything
less would have rendered him permanently a eunuch.
In his mind, Draco began with a glimpse of her silhouette -
the one that had caused him such unease and pleasure so many months earlier. He
felt a grin creeping to his face as he imagined her firm, full breasts, a
narrow waist, rounded hips, creamy-white thighs and all those riotous curls. He
pictured soap and water sluicing over her body, through her hands as they traveled
over her silky skin. Draco�s imagination conjured a soft, secret smile as her
fingers toyed with dark rosy nipples and her head tipped back with the
pleasurable sensation. That was enough for his own body to feel a firm twitch
of arousal as his penis seemed to move of its own accord.
When he pictured those small, feminine hands trailing down
her ribcage to her hips, then toward the junction of her thighs, he felt his
own body respond with a strong rush of blood; seconds later, it was clear that
he was fully erect without having consciously touched his organ. His awareness
returned from imagination just enough to note that his right hand had made its
way inside his boxers and he had, in fact, been stroking his testicles lightly.
He realized that they were now growing tighter and his hand drifted upward
slightly to feather along his swollen erection. Images returned as he fantasized
about the personal moment he�d created for his desired lover. Faux Hermione�s
legs parted ever so slightly as water glistened, her knees bending and fingers
probing through other dark curls. He swore he could hear her intake of breath
as delicate digits found an even more delicate bud. Maybe that was his own
sound, as his hand tightened over his penis and stroked firmly upward,
squeezing the head slightly. Her fingers swirled and rubbed, gaining in speed
and intensity along with the movement of his own hand, pressure building in his
stomach and groin as he saw her head lolling and cheeks flushing with the
pleasure of her own touch. He stopped for the two seconds it took to remove his
boxers, freeing his organ for greater access and unrestricted motion. His knees
lifted and parted as hers buckled slightly when her fingers found her center and
plunged deep inside. His left hand joined his right in building pleasure by
gently fondling his sac while his palm stroked in time with imaginary Hermione�s
thrusts. Her movements became faster, slightly more aggressive as his own grip
tightened and he felt his hips lift off the mattress with the urge to push into
the soft center he envisioned. His breathing was coming in labored pants as his
heart beat faster. Stroke for stroke, pull for pull, he kept time with her
imagined actions until the pressure was too much to resist. He felt hot, thick
spurts of semen hit his chest as orgasm overtook him, just as she crumbled to
her knees from her own waves of pleasure.
Somewhere along the way, he must have kicked off the sheets
and blankets that had covered him. He noted absently that could feel the
ejaculate cooling on his chest. He felt sated, relaxed, and tired. He�d
achieved his mission, fulfilled his assignment. Drawing up the covers and
turning on his side, he sighed deeply in his contentment. He�d had a few
minutes to imagine that the name she�d called when she came was his own.
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Consequences and Complexities