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Naked on your Chain	By : flagfish Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 6160 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any of the characters, nor do I make any money from writing this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
The chandelier suspended dark with candles snuffed out, the elaborate twisting decorations around it, giving way to the ceiling, then the place where it spanned to meet the wall, there still was silver where the banners and posters hadn't reached high enough; Remus gazed up in the dim light of the bedside lamp, his hand in Sirius' hair, eyes darting around the room that stood almost in contrast with his own room back at home. It was almost strange to think his close friend of so many years had grown up in a lavish place like this—
He and Sirius, wrestling on the cabin floor at the Hogwarts Express at age twelve; he and Sirius, falling asleep in the lounge on a mountain of books, two weeks before OWLs; in the quidditch bleachers, cheering for Prongs, shouting with disappointment when he'd been blocked—
Padfoot did it so well, what he did between his legs, Remus liked the feel of his hair on his thighs, the expiration of his breath, he was so proficiently good you'd never guess he'd not done it before. Remus wondered when it would be okay to ask Sirius to try it, it felt so nice with his tongue, but it had felt exactly as nice the time he'd done it before, and that time, as soon as he'd tried with his finger, it hurt—
It hadn't been easy. They both tried to be very patient, Padfoot tried as much as he could to be gentle, Moony tried to tolerate it as much as he could despite how uncomfortable it felt. He found himself frustrated with his own body, really, something that was supposed to feel nice had really just hurt and felt wrong more than anything else; that was normal, Padfoot said, it doesn't feel good the first time, it's an acquired taste, and he said they could stop, he didn't mind if Moony did it to him, instead—
But Remus insisted, because if it were an acquired taste, then he needed to get used to it, after all; so they kept trying, and Sirius kept trying to be gentle, and he didn't complain when his tongue began to hurt, and he didn't complain that his attention was entirely devoted to Moony for a full hour with nothing in return, and he didn't complain that, as much as he wanted to see Moony like it, the best he could do was have him tolerate what he did.
Maybe it's because I'm straight, Remus thought, maybe straight blokes just never enjoy this, but how completely straight could you be if you got hard for another bloke, and how completely straight could you be if you fell so hard in love with him—
It was unexpected then, when through the uncomfortable intrusion there finally came something else— it felt profoundly strange—
It wasn't like being touched from the outside, or like having someone's hand or their mouth on you; it was a vague but unmistakable, direct electric impulse from inside that he couldn't quite place; his fingers clawed hard at Sirius' shoulders and his mouth came agape, no words issuing forth. He stared at the ceiling, astonished, not having believed until then that it were real.
Padfoot looked up hopefully, two fingers still inside and feeling him go tight all around; "That it?" he asked, slowly moving up as to kiss him, still stroking him inside. Moony didn't respond, he merely looked back, lips still parted, eyes still batting with disbelief.
"I…" he finally managed, whispering just against Sirius' lips, "I…I've never…" –I've never known there was something like that—
Sirius chuckled as he kissed him again, pleased and relieved he'd finally managed to make him feel something nice from inside. A bloke could come this way, he told him, and Moony already knew, he'd heard about this, what bloke hadn't— he'd just never—he'd never really realized it was real until he'd felt it so profoundly, himself—
Sirius didn't make him come that way, not just that alone; even after an hour of tending to him, he took his member in his mouth again, everyone knows you're far more sensitive after climax, he was going to try it with him after that; and Remus would have liked to thank him for the attention, he would have liked to tell him how nice it felt and how much he liked when he did it with his mouth, but he found himself speechless after that, everything he did to him was nearly too much; his hands went tight in Sirius' hair, his long legs woven loosely around him, his eyes tightly shut and his back arching, he'd stopped caring long since how graceless he were, how obscene it all was, just where Padfoot was touching him and what it made him do—
He cursed and muttered when he came, pulling hard enough at Sirius' hair to hear his cry of pain muffled around him, and he collapsed exhausted and spent after the fact, heart still going, breath still coming fast; then he felt Padfoot's lips on his, he kissed him weakly, contentedly, tasting himself on him—
"I'm gonna try now," Sirius said, still kissing him, his fingers gently combing back his hair.
"Now?" Remus asked, his eyes slowly coming open, and Sirius asked, "That all right?"
Remus said it was.
He'd earned it, Sirius did, he'd given him so much attention for so long—
Padfoot slowly took his place between his legs, carefully prompting his thighs farther apart. He still was wet around the mouth, absently licking at his lips as he reached down toward Moony. The small opening was still slick from before, Remus gasped when he felt his fingers go in, he really was more sensitive now after climax and also he'd got a bit accustomed to how it felt from before. He watched Sirius as he slid the digits in him, slowly in and out a few times, before he'd looked up and asked, "Reckon we could try it?"
Moony was very curious to try. He'd been wondering what it would be like for a while now, it wasn't exactly the way he'd imagined himself losing it, but ever since Sirius, ever since that afternoon with him and James, he'd wondered how this would feel.
"Oi, could you get me my wand—" Sirius asked, and after searching for a few moments on the bed, Remus found it some distance away. He handed it to Sirius and watched him use more of the fluid on himself, his hands graceful and clever as they moved along his own member, Sirius visibly fighting from succumbing to his own ministrations; it was so real. They were really going to—
Propped by his elbows, Remus watched as he slid closer to him, close enough that he could feel his hips warm against his thighs, then there came the hot tip of his member, slick with fluid just outside his opening. It felt so big. Could he really bear to have that inside him, was that really possible—
"I'll go slow," Sirius said, his voice hoarse, half a whisper, and it occurred to Remus that he was impatient and nervous about doing this, too.
"All right," there came the reply, and the both of them watched, Padfoot carefully steadied himself, slowly pressing just the tip against him.
It was very big. It was more than with two fingers, and it didn't feel right; it sort of hurt.
"Stop, stop—" Remus whispered, and Sirius did. He'd only barely got the head in.
"All right, Moony?"
Remus lay on his back, staring up at the chandelier.
"I—how far in is it?" he asked, breathing in slowly in attempt to calm himself. Sirius didn't like seeing him that way, but he knew it wouldn't feel good the first time.
"Just the head," he said.
Moony was very hot inside, and distinctly tight. It felt strange, being in him, and not far enough in to really feel nice. But that was it—this was sex. He found himself wishing it was better for Moony, even if he told himself that it was something you had to get used to, there was no getting around that.
"All right," Remus said, "All right, try a little more—"
"Mate, you sure?"
"Yeah, it's all right."
This also took a while. It wasn't easy for either of them; Remus found himself irritated by how intrusive it felt, by how much it felt distinctly like something that shouldn't be there, he'd wondered what was wrong with him if this was supposed to be pleasurable to so many blokes; and even if everyone knew the first time wasn't supposed to feel good, there was nothing to have him believe that it would ever get better. He wondered how being so intimate with someone you loved could feel so decidedly wrong.
"I can stop," Sirius offered, and, frustrated, Remus shook his head; if they didn't get it straight then, then when would they? They had to do this, he had to get used to it.
But why…? Why did he have to get used to doing something like this, he was a bloke, after all, and perfectly capable of doing it from the giving end, he could go back to women and never have to deal with this again—
But he didn't want to do it with anyone else. And even if he had gone back to women, or even if he and Padfoot switched places, he still never would find out what something like this was like, he'd never know what it felt like to actually like this—
—and it irritated him to think that it just wasn't something he was able to do.
They never got to a point that night where it felt good. Sirius had gone very gentle and slow, proceeding inward one centimeter at a time, but every little bit hurt, and he couldn't have enjoyed it even if he'd tried. He'd offered to Remus, do it to me, and I'd played with myself this way for years, but Moony refused. Then, finally, after much time had passed, Sirius finally pulled out, and he leaned in to kiss Remus and take him in his arms, and he whispered that it didn't matter, and that it was their first time, and it wasn't supposed to be easy.
Remus was a good sport about it. He smiled and brushed his hand against Sirius' face, saying he knew, that he didn't mind, that he wished he'd been able to take it better. That he really appreciated how nice Sirius was. Really, he was terribly frustrated with himself. He'd wanted so much for it to feel nice.
"We'll try it again," Sirius promised, he was as gentle with him as he could, "we'll keep trying, all right?"
"Yeah, all right," there came the reply, though, inwardly, Remus found himself wondering when the next time would be, and what would happen to Padfoot; he was certain they weren't really gonna transfer him, he'd be here for two weeks and then he'd be back at Gryffindor House, and they'd be together—
He'd thought of their fight and the tension between them of late, and he realized that coming to visit Sirius here had done them both a great deal of good; even though sex didn't really work out, here they were lying close in each other's arms, bare skin to bare skin, the both of them wanting so much to be happy together. He wanted so much to apologize that he wasn't able to do it, he felt that something was wrong with him and that he made it seem like he didn't want to do it, but that's not how it was; he'd really been very curious, he'd wanted to know what it was like, but he just couldn't take it physically, as much as he'd tried.
We'll keep trying, Padfoot had promised, and Moony felt how much he loved him then, and how glad he was that he came to see him that night. It was only then that he felt the concern begin to well inside him, that the prospect of Sirius being sent away to another school had for the first time seemed real. No way, we won't let them, he thought, we'll have to do something, even Regulus wouldn't want him sent off—
He didn't want to have to leave in the morning—in a few hours, really, because it already had become frightfully late. He didn't want to fall asleep, he knew that no sooner he'd close his eyes than he'd be stirred again into cognizance by Kreacher, and then he'd have to dress and leave again. Now that he felt Sirius truly loved him, he didn't want to be apart from him again.
"I wish you didn't have to be here," he whispered, "I wish you could just come back with me."
Sirius smiled; it occurred to him it sounded a lot like he'd been forgiven. "Trust me, mate," he replied, "I wish I could come back with you, too." He really hated being home.
Remus found himself afraid that by the time Sirius returned, he might forget all this again. That the intimacy they had that night was really a one-time thing and they'd go back to how it was before.
"You want me to visit again? If—it's possible…?" he asked.
He couldn't see very well in the dark, but he could tell by his voice then that Sirius was smiling. "Yeah, I'd like that," Padfoot said.
They both fought to stay awake after that, but both eventually dozed off, naked and intertwined together; they both wished they'd managed to fall for each other without having to endure so much rubbish on the way.
To be continued…
A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^
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Naked on your Chain