Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Scars	By : LadyFreak Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 17581 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor to I make any money from this story. These characters are JKR's, I just play with them.

Chapter List
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Hermione woke the next morning lying on her back. Damn that muscle relaxant. Every time she tried to roll, pain shot through her. Okay… looks like I actually need to rely on Healer Draco, huh? Damn I’m worthless. I’ve been through a war, torture and all, and I can’t even get out of bed because someone pushed me against a wall? Son of a Bitch! Alright one more try.

Hermione gave herself one more push and got herself sitting up. With one more grunt she was standing and hanging onto the bedpost. Slowly and leaning on everything she could on her path, she made it to her doorway. She was breathing hard with sweat on her brow, but she made it. She would not be selfish. Draco has been helping too much. I can do this on my own. No one needs to suffer because of me.

Hermione saw a flash of blond hair hanging over the edge of the couch. He was still sleeping thankfully. She headed to the bathroom. She turned on the shower desperate to feel clean. She pulled off her bracelets and set them on the sink - her scars showing as soon as they came off. Ugly, selfish, bitch, she thought to herself. How many times had she heard those words? But Draco called you beautiful, her voice reminded her. I’m just penance for him. A way to make amends to his own soul. There’s no other reason why he would look at me as anything but an ugly mudblood. The bad is easier to believe than the good.

She turned her back to the spray of hot water. Her muscles relished in the relief it gave. She looked down at her skin, raw from the hot water and scrubbing. Blood ran down her arm and into the drain. She scratched open the latest additions.

No, I’m not beautiful, she thought to herself tracing the scars and cuts. I’m marred, scarred, dirty… even Ron can’t look at me. She stifled a sob at the thought of Ron. Only one way to make the pain go away you know? You’ve done this to yourself. No one will love you now.

Gods I need help… but what will the world think? Great Hermione Granger, brightest witch of the age, not very bright anymore. She would never get a job. No one would ever want to come near her. Harry and Ginny would leave. Everyone would desert her. They will know she’s crazy and leave her at St. Mungos.

Why can’t I be Draco’s penance? Let him help me… but then what when he feels he’s had enough… I’ll be back to square one again. And what if I end up feeling more for him than he does for me? Might as well end it before any real damage can be done.

Hermione just wanted to scream out loud at all that went through her head. She hadn’t thought about any of this in so long and yet now it came crashing down… Ron… he was a stupid prat. Thinking that about an old friend made her feel that much worse. She knew what would feel better… no… last time was the last time… I won’t do it anymore. I can’t…

Without realizing what she was doing, she was reaching for her blade in her shower bag…. Wanting to do it again. Fighting the compulsion. She screamed, finally letting go of her anger and frustrations. She sunk to the floor of the shower and began rocking herself, head in one hand, blade in the other, fighting the urge. She started to sing a muggle song she knew that verbalized what she was feeling.

All the times that I cried,

all this wasted, it’s all inside

and I feel all this pain

stuffed it down its back again

and I lie here in bed

all alone I can’t mend

And that’s how Draco found her.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A/N: Okay SUPER short chapter, i know, but its how it has to be. Don't hate me. Comment and i'll see about posting the next part tonight or tomorrow! Let me know what you think!

Madamdragon: soooon :)
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Scars