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The Joke Book Trap	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 10791 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from this fiction. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austen.

Chapter List
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Chapter Fourteen – Asking for her Hand

George was sitting at the table at Shell Cottage with Bill and Fleur. He had explained everything he’d read about the curse, and Bill ran a finger along his chin, “So, let me get this straight. You sent out these joke books to everyone but me and Fleur? You didn’t send any warning with them, which said if they read it allowed it would suck them into the book. You have a copy of each book that records everything that happens while the person is in the book, and you read about some Malfoy curse while you were reading the book you trapped Hermione in. Also, since you didn’t put a warning on the book she’s trapped in a romance book with Draco Malfoy?”

George’s brown eyes widened, “Well, essentially yes. I didn’t send you your copy because I didn’t want to deal with your painful retribution. You’re a curse breaker Bill. Plus you were Head Boy at school and you’re not a pansy like Percy, so yeah I knew you’d get me back for it. Plus, you would’ve been stuck in Middle Earth for so long.”

His nonexistent eyebrows arose, “You made me one for all six books of the Lord of the Rings? That’s brilliant! I say give it to me for my birthday and I’ll take vacation from work so that Fleur and I can go through the books together. But enough of the great Joke Books you and Fred created, which by the way is a great idea. You should really market those, of course I’m sure you plan to, but decided to test them on your unknowing friends and family first.” He shook his head showing his disapproval, “As to the curse, I have to do a bit of research. I will try to find another way to break it, but I have a feeling that Hermione’s Ancestor was quite talented and the only way to break it might be for the two of them to be together. You’ve been reading his thoughts while he’s been in the book, right? He’s changed, hasn’t he?”

George nodded his head and cleared his throat, “But wasn’t Hermione supposed to be our sister-in-law?”

Bill chuckled, “Well, it would’ve been possible if things were different. If Fred hadn’t died, Ron wasn’t gay, or Charlie wasn’t busy with his dragons, however since it’s not that way we’ll have to settle with keeping her as a close family friend.”

“Wait, how long have you known Ron was gay? I just figured it out today!” He crossed his arms and glared. Fred chuckled in his mind. You wouldn’t have figured it out if I hadn’t clued you in. You’re so oblivious sometimes, really!

Bill closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, “That’s irrelevant. I need to research this curse, so you should probably go now.”

Draco was in London when his enraged aunt called upon him. He had stood before his aunt knowing that Hermione had confronted the Bellatrix doppelganger. He tried to contain his laughter as she went off about the many reasons why he and Eliza would be an unsuitable match. Including her delusional idea that he and his cousin who resembled the pug faced Pansy, were betrothed to marry as newborns still in their cots. I sounded like something his mother and Mrs. Parkinson would do. He didn’t concentrate on her concerns as much as the descriptions of Hermione’s reactions. After she left, he did what was expected of his character and returned to Netherfield earlier than anticipated. He was soon once again standing before the humble home of Longbourn alongside Bingley. They decided to go for a walk, but Looney decided to stay home. Bingley and Jane went off by themselves leaving the two of them with one of the Patil twins. They walked toward the Lucas’s and soon the Patil twin disappeared to hang out with her sister who was masquerading as Maria Lucas.

After she left, Hermione took a deep breath before speaking. “Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feeling, care not how much I may be wounding your’s. I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister. Ever since I have known it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it. Were it known to the rest of my family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express.”*

Draco wanted to say so much but followed Hermione’s lead and continued with what he was supposed to say. “I am sorry, exceedingly sorry that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness. I did not think Mrs. Gardiner was so little to be trusted.”*

“You must no blame my mother. Lavender’s thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you have been concerned in the matter; and, of course, I could not rest till I knew the particulars. Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all my family, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them.”*

He noticed her slips in the scripting. She had referred to her aunt as her mother, which he assumed was who played her aunt. She then called Lydia Lavender, which made him wonder if they’d have an actual discussion and not just speak what was in the book. He inwardly grimaced, as she had no idea as to the true mortification he experienced upon seeing the awkward sexual act between Lavender and Ron. However, she still hadn’t completely broken character so he continued with the scripting, “If you will thank me let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements that led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owes me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you.”*

Hermione blushed as he continued, “You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me at so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.”* He caught her eyes and grabbed that courage once more if but only for a brief moment, “I did not just speak as Mr. Darcy, but I also as Draco Malfoy when I spoke those words, so Hermione please let me down gently if you must.”

She smiled at him causing his breath to catch, “Draco, my feelings for you have gone through the greatest transition. One could liken it to the metamorphic stage of a caterpillar before it sprouts its wings to become a beautiful butterfly. I cannot tell you when they started to change, as they took me by surprise, however I knew they’d changed profusely before I visited you at Pemberley. If your offer still stands, and you’re willing to accept the consequences of your actions, I would be proud to be married to Mr. Darcy as Elizabeth Bennet. Maybe in a few years we could bask in the glow of this reality and marry each other in ours.”

His heart started beating quicker as his wishes fell from her lips in the form of words he dreamed she’d say. He cleared his throat and asked the one question that plagued his mind for far too long, “Why were you crying when you receive the notice that Lavender ran off with Ron? I thought it was because you were heartbroken that Ron’s likeness ran off with Lavender a second time.”

Hermione shook her head and giggled, “No, I’ve found myself thinking about what Ron would look like in a dress recently. The more I thought about my dear friend the more pieces fit together. I never had a chance with him. I think you would’ve had a much better chance than me. I’m pretty sure you have the equipment he prefers. It was speaking with his version of Wickham that gave it away, as I look back on it now. It was in the slightly graceful ways the character moved. I think it was the way my mind finally put it together and projected it on his character. Yep, I’m afraid that Ron plays for the same team I do.”

Draco’s mouth dropped open. He never thought that he’d find out one of the Weasley sons were gay, but then again if Dumbledore was then there was a possibility that anyone could be, right? No one found out about Dumbledore’s sexuality until after he died and no one ever questioned his lifelong bachelorhood. He shook his head, “Ron’s gay?”

She nodded, “Yep, however I don’t believe he’s ready to tell anyone. I might just have to write him for confirmation. I’m sure Bill’s figured it out already; I mean he’s just as academic and observant as I am. Ron’s always been thick when it came to my feelings. For the longest time, I thought it was just because he didn’t realize how I felt about him, but now I realize it was because he never felt the same way that I did. I was the one that kissed him during the final battle and as I review it, there was something off about it.”

Draco decided it was best for him to change topics before he let Zabini’s sexuality out of the bag. Introducing the two might be the best way to get Blaise off of Theo’s back. Draco cleared his throat as he explained what happened when his aunt called on him. He finished with Darcy’s feelings as they mirrored his own, “It taught me to hope as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly.* Even you would’ve changed the scripting Hermione, if you still felt the same way as you did when I shared my feelings with you months before.”

She smiled, “Yes, you’ve known my frankness and sharp wit for all of our years together at Hogwarts. However, there’s no point in continuing with the scripting. I know that I unjustly pulled out everything that you’ve regretted and thrust it down your throat. I brought up things that I told myself I’d forgiven you for and struck you deeper than necessary. I was overly harsh with my criticism, even though I was ignorant and misinformed about most of the things you went through.”

“I deserved those words Hermione. After torturing you and teasing you for years, I deserved to feel that pain. I was less than a man. I was young but that didn’t excuse my horrible behavior. I’ve thought you were pretty since I saw you at Yule Ball our fourth year. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I promised myself that I wouldn’t direct my insults at you anymore after that. Then I showed my true cowardice as I just stood there frozen as my aunt, the real Bellatrix, carved that horrible word on your arm. I should’ve done something, but of course I felt as helpless as I did when I watched those gorillas harm my mother.” He couldn’t continue with his words as he choked up and tears were rapidly forming in his eyes. He tried to control his emotions as it wasn’t the time to flaunt his vulnerabilities.

The following day, he and Hermione went for another walk together alone. They discussed more things from their reality and he hoped to someday marry the woman before him. He knew the wedding of their characters would arrive shortly, however he wanted to marry her for real. He wanted to have a full blown wizard wedding with the blending of their magical energy. Upon their return to Longbourn, they had decided to follow the book to the tee. That evening he followed Mr. Weasley to the library to ask for his permission of their marriage.

He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to do it, as Austen never wrote what was said between Mr. Bennet and Mr. Darcy, as she’d jumped straight to the conversation between him and his favorite daughter. He paced back and forth and calmed his breath before deciding to go with the direct approach, “Mr. Bennet, I have interrupted your solitude to ask your permission. Your daughter Elizabeth and I would like to be married, but we cannot without your blessing.”

The balding red haired man paled and his mouth hung open. It took him a moment to recover before he cleared his throat, “You and Lizzy want to be married. I give you my consent, but I would like to speak with Lizzy before I give my blessing or congratulations. Could you send her in here to speak with me?"

Draco nodded and left the room. He made eye contact as he approached her and whichever Patil sister was sitting next to her. He walked over and pretended to admire her needlework, as he whispered, “Go to your father, he wants you in the library.

He watched as she quickly left the room. He couldn’t help but wander around the room filled with nervousness. What if things didn’t work out? What if the darkness from his reality crept in and destroyed the glimmer of happiness he saw before him? What if the curse struck? He sighed before taking a seat and awaiting the long conversation between her and her father. He knew it would end with her telling the Weasley Patriarch everything that happened including Darcy’s hand in the cleaning up of Lydia’s foolishness.

Draco held in laughter as he heard Arthur belt out, “If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, send them in, for I am quite at leisure.”**

The day of their wedding arrived but a couple of weeks after Bingley and Jane’s. Draco was excited to go through the wedding ceremony, which wasn’t written in the book but alluded to. He found himself dressed in white pants and button up shirt, however he had a gold double breasted jacket to wear over the white and a pink bow tie. He looked at himself in the mirror and couldn’t help but think he looked quite fetching; however, the white only accented his paleness more. He stood by the altar in the local church wondering who the clergyman would be presiding over the ceremony.

He watched as Looney sat at the organ and began to play a march. Soon he saw the bride’s maids and groomsmen walking down the aisle. He couldn’t help but think if the wedding should’ve been larger with the amount of wealth Darcy had, however Eliza probably had a hand in the wedding arrangements much like Hermione had in theirs. She wanted a simple wedding. She didn’t want something too over the top, but something that showcased their love in unexpected ways.

His eyes widened as the bride’s maids in their gold dresses moved to the side and he saw Hermione for the first time. She wore an empire dress that had more of a ballroom style skirt. She had lace in all the proper places and gold flecks danced in the light as she walked toward him. As she came closer, everything within him wished they weren’t living the lives of the two greatest romance characters of all time in the Muggle world, but actually getting married. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to exchange actual marriage vows with her and start the first day of the rest of their lives together. He knew that he’d fallen harder than any Malfoy before him, and a small part of him was terrified as to what it might mean.

The clergyman made his way toward them. His silvery blond hair was pulled back and his blue eyes somehow seemed familiar as he gazed upon them. He had rather noble and angular features. Draco thought for a moment it was his father, but the eyes were far too clear blue to be the eyes of Lucius. He knew there was something he was missing, but was too caught up in the moment to really care what it was. The man started with the traditional preachy stuff associated with a Christian wedding. Draco never really cared for the religion much, but he did love the holidays. With the amount of darkness the Malfoy’s participated in, it would’ve been far too much of a paradox if they attended church every Sunday.

Draco was too busy staring at how beautiful Hermione was that he didn’t notice time around him stopped, as the clergyman spoke. However, he did notice a peculiar look on Hermione’s face as she stared at the man in shock. He shrugged it off, as he figured she just mistook the man as his father, as well. The man addressed him, “Now, Draco, if you would repeat after me. I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, promise to love, cherish, and protect Hermione Jean Granger for the rest of my life.”

Draco looked down and noticed that Hermione’s hand was in his as he repeated the traditional words to a wizard wedding. He figured he was just dreaming, as she’d never really marry him. The clergyman turned to his blushing bride, “Now, Hermione, please repeat after me-”

“I, Hermione Jean Granger, promise to love, cherish, and protect Draco Lucius Malfoy, for the rest of my life.” She smiled and winked at the clergyman, which caused a knot to form in the pit of his stomach.

The blue eyed man of the cloth continued to speak, “Love is strongest form of magic we know. Many of the darkest wizards were incapable of understanding the true power of love, which only proved to be Voldemort’s downfall. The perfect mate exists out there for each of us, however sometimes a person is too blinded by prejudice and easily persuaded by his or her family and friends to see the full potential of that mate. We are gathered here today to bond two souls who were separated by time. With this joining, this union, a dark curse which has plagued the Malfoys for generations shall be broken.” Draco shivered as the words fell from the man’s lips. He couldn’t fathom how such a wedding ceremony could take place in a muggle book. He was far too distracted and overwhelmed to catch the full impact of the man’s words. He was struggling and was too wishful to believe a bonding ceremony was taking place between him and Hermione. Would he really call her wife sooner than he first thought possible?

As his mind was clouded by a dense fog of his hopes for the future, the clergyman turned to Hermione once more, “Hermione Jean Granger, do you take Draco Lucius Malfoy, with all of his imperfections, his poor choices, and his unworthiness to be your husband?” Draco agreed with the words spoken and felt nervous as he wondered if she would accept him for who he was.

Hermione smiled at him and her eyes shone with something he couldn’t place as she spoke, “I do.”

The man then turned to Draco with a large smile on his face, “Do you Draco Lucius Malfoy, take Hermione Jean Granger, with her less than pure blood, her keen intellect, and her overall superiority to be your wife?”

Draco’s voice was thick with emotion many believed he was incapable of possessing, “I do and I am honored that she’s even willing to accept me.”

Draco’s shimmering eyes widened as the clergyman took out the Malfoy family wand, 18” elm with dragon heartstring, which was in his father’s possession until Voldemort took it and it was destroyed. The man started speaking in Latin too quickly for Draco to translate. He watched as a sliver liquid streamed from his hand and wrapped around his and Hermione’s intertwined ones. As the man continued to speak, a gold liquid arose from her’s and intermixed with the sliver rope like substance already wrapped around their hands. His hand tingled and unfamiliar warmth filled him as the man spoke his final words, “I, Brutus Julius Malfoy, grandfather of the cursed Marcus Domitius Malfoy, seal this marriage and hold the requirement of Helena Hermione Granger fulfilled. May our line be brightened and strengthened by the courage, kindness, and outstanding moral character Hermione Jean Granger possesses. As the eldest Malfoy present, I do my ancestral duty, and bless this bonding. Draco, you may kiss your bride.”

He shook his head and leaned in capturing Hermione’s lips. He knew in that blissful moment that it was all a dream. There was no way that he’d just married Hermione Granger. There was no way they’d escape from the book to find the Ministry Records updated with the information of their wedding. He wouldn’t see her face right next to his on the Malfoy Family Tapestry. It had to be a dream, but as he kissed her, it felt so real. When he opened his eyes and took a step back from her, he noticed that the man was no longer standing before them and everyone was cheering. Where had he gone? He grabbed a hold of Hermione and they made way to their awaiting carriage.

As they sat in the chase, which was on its way to Pemberley, he waited for the other shoe to drop. He waited for himself to awaken in his bed with the dread of knowing that the happiness before him could never be. His heart filled with worry as he realized when he woke up, it was just as likely he’d wake in his bed at the Manor that Voldemort still walked through it. He gasped for breath, as the memory of what that man did to his family overwhelmed him. He looked up as he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He was captured by her golden flecked brown eyes and managed to choke out, “What?”

“Draco, are you upset with what happened at the church? Are you regretting that we got married and when we return to Hogwarts your parents will find out that you married a muggle-born?”

He shook his head, “No, I want this to be real, but I know it’s just a dream or a fantasy. You would never marry me, well I guess you would, but the real Hermione would never marry someone as worthless as me. Sure, I have plenty of materialistic wealth, but I’m a coward and nothing compared to her friends. I’m just dreading what world will await me when I awake. If I’m back at the manor with him there, I don’t know if I could survive.” He covered his face with his hands to hide the traitorous tears threatening to fall. He continued a bit muffled, “I love you so much Hermione, I just can’t look upon that woman’s face, who tortured you again, as she fawns over her master.”

He didn’t fight her when she pulled his hands away from his face. He kept his eyes shut tight as she gently wiped away his tears, before pulling him into a passionate kiss. He felt desire light within him as he deepened the kiss. They battled for dominance within each other’s mouth. Her hands made their way to his hair and he sighed. He was experiencing the best dream ever; however, he wasn’t ready for the bleak reality that awaited him when he finally awoke.

A/N: Basically they’re at the end of the book now. Next chapter will have their honeymoon.

*All dialogued marked is quoted from *chapter fifty-eight and **chapter fifty-nine of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice(1813). The scenes are also derived from those chapters. The only things original to me are Draco's thoughts.
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The Joke Book Trap