Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Cannot Save You Now	By : tigrelilje Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 15706 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter fandom nor do I make any money from writing this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Chapter 13
“We should return to Hogwarts soon,” Draco said eventually.
“Do you want to go back to school tonight or would you mind staying here until morning?” Harry asked.
“We need to go back, someone will notice if we aren’t there,” Draco said with a confused expression.
“No, Blaise and Theo will cover for us if we don’t return,” Harry assured.
“Alright,” Draco agreed. “What is the deal with those two, anyway? Why do they know about you?”
“Give me just a minute,” Harry said. He quickly wrote a message to Blaise and Theo that he had found Draco and they would be staying at Tristan’s for the night. It was implied that his two friends should cover for them. Once the missive had been sent off, Harry turned back to Draco and absently took his hand to run his fingers over the skin while he said, “I met Blaise here at my Father’s manor this summer after I turned. He didn’t know who I was at first, of course, but eventually I trusted him enough to tell him. After all, he had spent his entire life keeping the secret of his father’s fate; he was one of the vampire’s here.”
Draco’s expression became shocked and Harry gave him a small smile, “Yes, Blaise has always known his father. However, his constant close proximity to vampires has caused him to keep his distance from wizards. Blaise is fully human, but he has been raised as if he were a vampire. He knows how to blend in but it goes against his nature to act human now. I think perhaps you can understand his distain when you criticized him on the train for having no loyalty or belief in anything enough to take a stand. Family loyalty is the most important for the Zabinis, and everything else is immaterial.”
“Why would you tell me his secret?” Draco asked curiously.
“If you are to be my mate,” Harry said slowly, “you will know all my secrets and those of those closest to me anyway. It would do me no good to keep something like this from you. I’m choosing to trust you, Draco, before you make a decision. Should I not?”
“No, you can,” Draco said quickly, with an expression that suggested he was surprised by his own honest response.
“Good,” Harry smiled. “As for Theo… he followed me once, after school began. I almost killed him for his efforts.”
Draco had merely lifted one eyebrow with that confession but Harry could tell he was very interested in hearing the whole story.
“I was feeling uh- restricted, I suppose, after the first week of school,” Harry began. “It is unnatural for a new vampire to actively work against their vampire instincts and pose as a human for long periods of time. While I hardly notice any strain now, at first, it sometimes felt as though my skin were crawling and I would become very restless and moody. I went out to the forest to let out some of my natural aggression and just let myself be a vampire for a while without hiding. Theo followed me while all my vampire instincts were out and I almost killed him before I was able to stop myself from killing my ‘prey’. He was very lucky. Then he swore his allegiance to me above all others. I know,” Harry said as Draco opened his mouth, “he is a Death Eater and serves Voldemort. But he knows I’m far more powerful and able to protect him. Now he and I are friends, though, I am also his master, in a way.”
“You seem very confident of your power,” Draco said skeptically.
“I am, Draco,” Harry gave him a predatory smile. “I know what I am capable of and I know what Voldemort is capable of. If I still had any desire to kill him, it would be laughably easy; well, for the most part. But the Wizarding world can save itself, for all I care. I will not help them.”
“You would just-,” Draco began, looking angry.
“Yes,” Harry cut him off, his tone and expression both deadly serious. “It isn’t my world anymore. I may still have a few connections to it, but it isn’t my world. Just like I had a connection to the werewolves when I was a wizard, but you didn’t see me getting involved in their affairs. You can’t understand, because you know I used to be Harry Potter, so you think I should want to save the world I was a part of. But I am a vampire now, and their world and politics are what I care about and the Wizarding world is like a side civilization that I am occasionally reminded of. Perhaps someday you’ll understand.”
“Perhaps?” Draco questioned, looking irritated. “What do you mean, perhaps? Will I not be a part of your life and world? Will you keep me separate if we are together?”
“No, of course not,” Harry said. “I merely meant that if you become a vampire, you would understand my seemingly abrupt desertion of the Wizarding world. If you stay human, you may or may not, as you become more entangled in the vampiric world while you leave the human one behind.”
“Don’t I have to become a vampire, if I’m your mate?” Draco asked in confusion.
“No,” Harry said slowly, “you can remain human and still be my mate. Our bond would prevent you from aging but otherwise you would remain perfectly human. It isn’t really a recommended choice, but some prefer it.”
“What are the benefits to such an arrangement?” Draco asked, bewildered. “The human mate would always be vulnerable!”
“Some humans balk at the thought of drinking blood and willingly choosing to become a creature that must do so,” Harry began, quickly trying to remember some of the reasons he had witnessed. “It pleases others to know that even though they are weak, a powerful creature is fiercely protective of them; it makes them feel powerful. It really depends on the individuals, but I’ve seen some relationships where I would classify the human as a possession rather than a partner. I am not saying that the human is treated poorly, far from it, but they are content to be constantly supervised or locked out of harm’s way while their vampire controls their life and spoils them.”
Harry paused for a moment before saying softly, “And some are afraid to lose themselves.”
“How so?” Draco asked, though he thought he already knew the answer when he considered Harry’s new personality.
“You change when you are turned,” Harry said simply. “Though not as much as one might think. It is more like certain characteristics are enhanced while others are dampened. I have always had a temper, as I’m sure you remember. But I spent a lifetime suppressing it to the best of my abilities, something I learned to do with my muggle relatives. Even at Hogwarts, I tried not to let it out, though you always managed to get a rise out of me no matter how much I told myself to let it go.”
Harry gave Draco a small smile and Draco couldn’t help returning it, feeling oddly proud that he alone had gotten such strong reactions from Harry, even if they had been negative at the time. He flushed a little as his mind wondered what type of reactions he could get now.
Harry smirked, having a rather good idea of what Draco was thinking when he felt a small burst of arousal from the other boy before it was smothered to almost non-existence.
“Anyway,” Harry continued, “becoming a vampire didn’t completely change my personality. I don’t hide my desire to be violent anymore; I revel in it. My… Slytherin traits have been amplified while the many Gryffindor traits I learned in school have been stifled for the most part. It would be rather hard to be an effective predator if I didn’t have any sense of stealth. It’s the period right after being turned that humans really fear, I think.”
“Why?” Draco asked, fascinated by the information he was learning. He didn’t know what Slytherin traits the ex-Gryffindor was claiming to now have amplified, but he would ask about it another time; Harry had been the epitome of Gryffindor as far as he was concerned and he was rather sure that this new thoughtful and cunning side of the other boy was completely a result of his vampiric change, not previously held traits that he had hidden.
“After you first wake up, your humanity is more or less destroyed,” Harry paused for a moment before shaking his head. “No, that’s not really right. It isn’t destroyed. More like it is trapped. When I woke for the first time as a vampire, I didn’t feel any emotions for the most part. It was like they were very far away, I could barely feel them. I think the feeling would be comparable to shock in humans. This is the point where you can lose your humanity completely and become the monster that people fear from stories. You aren’t a mindless monster, like many fear; but you also don’t care about any potential repercussions that might come from acting like one. It is in your nature to kill and fuck, so why not do it all the time? They become nothing more than selfish gluttons. You can come back from it, but it’s very hard.”
“Apparently you were able to get past that stage,” Draco observed.
“Yes, but I wouldn’t have if not for my Sire,” Harry nodded. “He did things, subtle things, to remind me of who I used to be, such as addressing me as Harry in private instead of my new name, Henry. Also, my decision to return to Hogwarts greatly influenced my ability to retain human characteristics. My emotions feel as if they are mine again and I find myself acting like most other students. It is for the best, I believe.”
“I would have to agree,” Draco said. He wondered what he would choose if the option to become a vampire was put before him. He definitely wouldn’t be satisfied with their relationship if he were seen as anything less than Harry’s equal in his partner’s eyes. He was less concerned about what others thought, as being underestimated was always an advantage. It would grate on him to be seen as inferior, however, no matter how useful it could be. He wasn’t sure he could fathom choosing to become a vampire at the moment, though, either. He almost hoped he wouldn’t have to make a decision.
“Well,” Harry’s voice drew him back to the present and he looked over at his companion, “perhaps we should go speak with my Sire, if you are not too tired. I know I would like more information about why you were taken tonight.”
“I am not too tired to learn that,” Draco said in a hard voice. He needed to understand more about what he was getting into.
“Alright, then,” Harry said, standing up and offering his hand to Draco to pull him up as well. Draco hesitated for a moment before giving his hand. He felt a thrill in his lower stomach at the feel of Harry’s skin when they touched. “We will have plenty of opportunities to speak with each other at school. I need to learn more about my Sire’s brother before we leave here, however.”
Draco could only nod, feeling rather giddy that Harry was still holding his hand. He didn’t let his face give away his feelings but he was rather surprised how much influence the other boy’s presence had on him. He had to wonder if their mutual mate instincts were the cause or if Draco’s own human instincts were wrecking havoc on his composure. He couldn’t remember ever being as interested in anyone in the past as he was with Harry now.
Harry led Draco out of the room they were in and down the hall, searching for his Father. He wondered why Tristan had never said anything about having a brother; and a twin no less. He had been under the impression that Tristan had no family until he had found Harry. Did he hide his brother’s existence from Harry or had he not known about him?
He rapped sharply on the door that he knew his Father was behind. He waited for a moment until he heard Tristan’s voice bidding him to enter. He pushed open the door and gently tugged Draco in behind him. His Father was sitting behind a desk looking through a small box of items with what Harry could only describe as a nostalgic expression. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen such a look on Tristan’s face before.
Tristan glanced over at them before subtly gesturing for Harry to sit on the small couch near the fireplace. Harry did so and pulled Draco down to sit beside him as his Father came around the desk to stand in front of them next to the fire.
“You have questions, I assume,” Tristan stated with a flat voice. Harry tried to remember if this was his normal tone or if recent events had caused him to withdraw from Harry. Perhaps he was spending too much time around humans, who tended to be much more emotional.
“Of course,” Harry said in a slightly colder voice. He wasn’t sure what was going on but if his Father had kept information from him that had put Draco’s safety in jeopardy, he was going to be most displeased, to say the least. “You never told me you had a brother.”
It wasn’t a question, but it was an invitation for Tristan to explain himself.
“I thought he had died hundreds of years ago,” Tristan said bluntly. “It didn’t seem important to tell you in the past.”
“Why would you think that when he is clearly alive?” Harry asked, torn between feeling sorry for his Sire and consternation that his Sire had been so horribly mistaken. “Did you see him die? I thought your human family all died as humans but he is clearly your twin and not just a brother you gained when you were turned.”
“It occurs to me that you have never asked about how I was created or even why I have never spoken of my Sire,” Tristan said, not answering Harry’s question, and seemingly directing the conversation down a different path. “Why is that?”
Harry opened his mouth for a moment before closing it. He really didn’t know. He couldn’t really imagine not having his Sire in his life but apparently his mind had decided that Tristan had just always existed as he is now. He was so old, sometimes it was daunting to imagine that there were other vampires that were even older than his Sire. Realistically, he should have been curious about meeting his… Grandfather-Sire? He wasn’t really sure what to call him, but the thought had never crossed his mind.
“I guess I just knew you were alone, somehow, and didn’t think it was important to learn of people who would not be part of my new family,” Harry said eventually.
“Hmm,” Tristan replied. “Well then I suppose I should tell you both a story.”
Harry glanced over at Draco. His mate was looked slightly nervous, probably from being in the same room as an older vampire he didn’t know, but he also looked very intent and interested in the coming conversation. Harry turned back to his Sire and nodded slightly, letting him know he wanted to hear about his past.
“My family lived in the countryside, of what is now France, over a millennium ago,” Tristan began. He was leaning against the mantle over the fireplace with his arms crossed and a faraway look on his face. “The Renards were fairly rich and powerful. We were also strongly magical, a pureblood family of witches and wizards. As such, we had enemies and rival families. It was take what you can get and fight to keep it back then.
“I had an older brother and two younger sisters. And of course, my twin, Jasper. We were the best of friends, but not due to our similarities. In fact, while Jasper and I were identical in appearance, our personalities were quite different. It may surprise you, but I was the impulsive and brash brother while Jasper tended to be more calculated and devious; the man could outwait a sloth, he was so patient. I sometimes wondered if we were really two halves of one whole; Jasper being the serious half and myself the reckless fool. We were perfect complements to each other.”
Harry was looking at his Sire with raised eyebrows, trying to imagine the man ever being carefree and fun-loving, and failing miserably. Tristan chuckled at Harry’s disbelieving expression before continuing.
“Eventually, our family found ourselves at war with another, equally magical, family,” Tristan said sadly. “It was inevitable, and we were prepared for it to happen someday. We were evenly matched. You may think it odd to be at war when the only males in my family were myself, Jasper, our father, and our older brother. But our family also included the people who worked for us and lived on our land. The same was true of the rival group. One night they got the best of us, in a stealth attack. We should have been expecting it, but it was so different than anything else we had come to expect from them that we foolishly stopped anticipating such an event.
“I should have died in that attack, but I did not. I had been saved, much like what happened with you Harry, by my Sire at the last moment. As had my brother, Jasper. Unbeknownst to me, my Sire and Jasper had met each other about two weeks before our deaths. It turned out that they were mates. I had noticed that my twin had been acting a little off, but I had figured that it had just been his way of dealing with the ever increasingly draining feud we were involved in.
“They had been drawn to each other immediately and were meeting in secret, learning each other and discussing their future. Jasper had not been comfortable abandoning his family even though he had accepted our Sire as his mate. Apparently, they fought frequently about Jasper’s safety but in the end, our Sire had to acknowledge that he could save Jasper if anything untoward happened to him. When Jasper was fatally wounded in the attack, our Sire turned him immediately. But Jasper insisted he turn me as well; he couldn’t fathom letting his twin die.
“I adjusted to my new life quickly, leaving my human life behind. I was much closer to losing my humanity than you ever were, Harry, because my Sire was less interested in preserving it. Obviously, Jasper and my Sire were lovers, as they were mates. This would have left me alone, but with our new vampire instincts, our connection as human twins was more or less overlooked. I frequently joined the two of them in bed.”
Harry was hardly surprised to hear such a thing; he knew what it was like to have vampire instincts with no human morals or ethics to tame them. Draco’s face, however, was a picture of disgust and repulsion. He glanced at his Sire and was relieved to note that he seemed more amused than offended by the reaction.
“It is not something you can understand, Draco,” Tristan explained, causing Draco to jump slightly at being addressed directly. “Just understand that human morals, ethics, and behavior are more or less unimportant to a vampire. Though I vaguely knew Jasper and I had been brothers, as a vampire I really only acknowledged that he was attractive and powerful, as was my Sire. We may as well have been strangers and not related at all. Becoming a vampire is much like being completely reborn, if you wish. Jasper and I chose to more or less forget that we had been brothers in our human lives. It may also seem off to you that mates would welcome another into bed with them, but it is not if both mates are agreeable to the idea. We can be possessive and jealous of letting others see the one who belongs to us, but some vampires are a more loose when it comes to their mate bond. The mates always come first for each other, but sometimes they enjoy playing with another.”
Harry felt Draco stiffen beside him and Harry himself was fairly sure that they would never be allowing anyone else into bed with them, if Draco accepted him as a mate. They were both far too jealous.
“Anyway,” Tristan continued, “we lived together happily for about a century, perhaps a bit more; until I found my own mate. She was a beautiful woman in the town we were living in at the time. She was the perfect lady, completely polite and socially adept; but it was a cover for the dangerous and wild side of her personality. I was completely enthralled, and not only because I felt the mate pull. Jasper became slightly jealous that my attentions were being shared with another. I, of course, stopped sharing a bed with my Sire and brother the moment I found her. Though Jasper was jealous, he was also very happy for me that I had found my own mate, as was my Sire.
“I got to know her and eventually, she accepted me, though not easily. Her name was Belle, and she was incredibly independent. Though she had been prepared to marry whoever her father chose for her, she really made me work to gain her love and trust since she had the option to reject me. We were quite the pair and I would have turned her soon.
“Of course, my Sire had enemies, and they found their chance to strike at him at this time,” Tristan paused for a moment and Harry interjected quickly to ask a question.
“What was your Sire’s name?” he asked.
“His name was Galen,” Tristan answered. “I’m not entirely sure how old he was but I was given the impression that he was at least five hundred years old when he turned Jasper and myself but was probably much older. I never asked, I’m not sure why. Regardless, he had enemies and the fact that my mate was still human provided some of them with a chance to strike at him. I was the weak link. By hurting my mate, it would hurt my brother and Galen. My Sire would be compelled to protect me, as I am compelled to protect you, Harry. Due to our close bond, my pain would affect Galen.
“They caught Belle and tortured her, driving me to the brink of insanity because I could not find her right away but I could feel her pain. We were bonded at this point, but she was still human. We didn’t know that a few of Galen’s enemies had joined together in a joint effort to destroy him. They didn’t care about Jasper or myself either way; we were just collateral damage to reach their end goal. They took Galen by surprise when I finally figured out where Belle was. She was on the brink of death, and I did not arrive in time to save her. As she died, they ambushed Galen, and I did not help. I was too distraught over the death of my mate. Jasper called out to me desperately for help and it took a long time before I was finally able to pull myself out of the despair that had been encompassing me.
“But once again, I was too late, and Galen was killed. Having the bonds I shared with my mate and Sire destroyed at virtually the same time almost thrust me into insanity, but I held myself together, knowing that if I wanted revenge, I needed to keep my wits about me. That was the day that I lost any of the carefree tendencies I had retained since my change.
“But it was too much for Jasper. He had lost his mate and Sire bond at the exact same time and he was much closer to Galen than I was. And while I was obviously close to my mate, it wasn’t anywhere near the level that Jasper shared with Galen. I think it fractured his mind and I lost my brother that day. He made it clear that he blamed me for Galen’s death. I had been the weak link with the human mate and I had not helped my Sire after my mate was clearly dead. Instead of attacking me, he swore he would find his revenge on me and disappeared.
“I never saw him or heard even a whisper of him again. That was almost nine hundred years ago. I assumed he had died, too unstable to keep himself alive or killed by another. I saw no reason to inform you about him, because I was sure he was dead,” Tristan finished, looking at Harry.
Harry sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and grinding his teeth slightly in irritation. He wasn’t irritated at his Sire, just at the situation.
“So, Harry is the weak link now, and I’m the weak human mate,” Draco stated in a flat voice, causing Harry to growl and wrap an arm around Draco’s waist protectively. No one was going to hurt Draco. Ever.
Draco looked at him in surprise before his expression softened and Harry saw a smile playing around his lips. Harry almost jumped for joy when Draco actually leaned into him slightly.
“That is correct, Draco,” Tristan nodded in approval. “Harry is my weak link now. Not because Harry is weak; he is far from it. But his numerous ties to humanity give him many vulnerabilities for Jasper to take advantage of. And like the situation with Galen, Harry’s distress will negatively impact me, but much more strongly than it did with Galen. Harry is my only Son and I have no mate to draw strength from. And Harry has many weak points, when I only had my one mate for Galen’s enemies to take advantage of. He will drive us crazy trying to predict where he will strike next unless we can gather all of Harry’s connections together in one place and keep a watch over them.”
“Fucking wonderful,” Harry snarled, jumping up from the couch and beginning to pace angrily. “How am I supposed to fight against an enemy I don’t know? It isn’t even my enemy, though just for kidnapping Draco he has become mine as well now.”
“I will help you, my Son,” Tristan said, stepping over to Harry and stopping his pacing by embracing him for a moment. He pulled back slightly, but kept his hands on Harry’s shoulders. “You know I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, and your friends, if that is your wish. I would recommend withdrawing from Hogwarts, but I have a feeling you will not listen.”
Harry was torn, but he said, “No, I will not leave. I am not finished with my own plans. I will find a way to keep my human connections safe, with your help. If it gets too risky, I will follow your advice.”
“I won’t force you,” Tristan sighed, “but you will be unnecessarily at risk.”
“Perhaps,” Harry agreed, “but I will also be an easy target and hopefully draw Jasper out; so that you may finish him.”
Tristan looked pained for a moment before he said, “He is my brother, but… he is threatening my Son and his mate. I suppose I have no choice. He’s firmly placed himself as my enemy. Nine hundred years and he clearly still holds me responsible. I will never talk him back to my side.”
Harry felt a little bad that Tristan was going to have to kill his brother, but not that bad. Harry didn’t know Jasper and he had instantly signed his death wish when he harmed Draco. “I would love to kill him myself; in fact my instincts are demanding I do next chance I get. But I can recognize this should be settled by you. I am just… collateral damage, yes?”
Tristan gave him a grim smile before Harry turned back to look at Draco. Draco’s expression at observing them interact was odd, but before Harry could really think about it, he felt Tristan stiffen the slightest bit and whipped his head around to look at him just as he felt the wards around the manor shudder.
“What is happening?” Harry asked sharply, immediately thinking of Jasper.
“We have company,” Tristan said, his expression turning slightly confused, leading Harry to assume that it wasn’t his brother. “It is a lone werewolf.”
***
Harry was confused as he made his way outside with Tristan and Draco; he had attempted to leave Draco behind, thinking he would be safer, and received an infuriated death glare for his trouble. There was a werewolf on their property and it was not the full moon. He wasn’t sure how that was possible and it made him uneasy.
They burst out of the front doors to see four other vampires already surrounding the werewolf, clearly getting ready to attack the intruder. The werewolf clearly knew it was in for a fight and seemed to be waiting for the others to make a move and defend itself. Harry couldn’t understand why it was on his Father’s property in the first place, or even how it had found them. There were many enchantments and wards to prevent unwelcome guests from finding them. As far as Harry knew, no outsider should have been able to find their manor.
As the wind changed direction and blew toward them, two things happened at the same time. Harry got a good dose of the werewolf’s scent and the four vampires made a move to pounce on the other creature.
“STOP!” Harry yelled, dashing forward without thinking. Three of the vampires froze at his command, recognizing who he was, while the fourth ignored him. It was Damien, which caused Harry to snarl in anger before tackling him to the ground. “Restrain the werewolf or knock him out, but otherwise do not hurt him,” he commanded to the other three vampires while he turned his attention to the furious vampire beneath him.
“Get off of me,” Damien growled, trying to dislodge Harry from his person.
“No,” Harry said in a quietly dangerous voice, “it is time you learn your place, Damien. I am Tristan’s heir, and though you will not admit it, I am far more powerful that you. You can either concede peacefully or you can be forced into submission. Your choice.”
“You will never be superior to me,” Damien hissed. Harry shrugged before striking him in the temple as hard as he could. The blow may have been fatal for a human but it only rendered Damien unconscious. He turned his eyes to the other three vampires. Two of them were restraining the werewolf while the third, who he recognized as Zeke, was warily watching the werewolf struggle futilely.
“Zeke,” Harry called softly. The other vampire focused on him quickly and Harry said, “Would you please take Damien to our dungeons. I will be having some words with him later when I have time.”
Zeke nodded curtly before hoisting Damien over his shoulder and walking away. Harry got to his feet and walked over to the werewolf where Tristan and Draco were now standing. He stopped in front of the snarling beast and wasn’t sure what to feel. Werewolves and vampires did not get along.
But he recognized the scent of this one. Underneath the smell of dirty fur and blood, he detected a smell that had once comforted him during one of his darkest hours, as he watched his godfather disappear into death. And he would never forget the pained and furious amber eyes that he was now gazing into with a sense of sadness.
“Remus?”
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