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The Years After	By : Araea Swiftwind Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2598 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I make any money off the writing of this piece of fiction. The views expressed herein do not in any way reflect the views of J.K. Rowling or Warner Bros. and their affiliates.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
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Part 14 – Chapter 12 - August 31, 1992

"Do you really have to go back to school, Draco?" Harry asked for the twentieth time.

Draco answered the same way he always did. "Yeah. It's too bad you can't come, too. But Father said it's not safe for you to leave the Manor, what with everyone still thinking you're dead and all."

"Yeah, I suppose. But I wish I could see you off tomorrow. I'd love to see what the Hogwarts express looks like."

"I'll ask Mother for a camera and take a picture for you," Draco placated with a soft smile.

"Will you really? And of Hogwarts, too? And your friends?"

Draco chuckled. "Sure, sure. I'll take a picture of everything."

Harry smiled widely and wiggled in his seat. "Yay! It'll be almost as good as being there. You'll write me, won't you?"

"Of course. I'll even describe what the feast tastes like."

"Aw, Draco, you do love me!" Harry laughed as Draco blushed a furious crimson.

"Don't say embarrassing things like that, Harry!"

"Why is it embarrassing?" Harry asked innocently, not sure why Draco was making such a big deal out of it. He had just been teasing.

"Because, we're too old to tell each other 'I love you'."

"But your parents say it...and you didn't complain the other day when I asked..."

"My parents are married. When they say it, it means something different. And the other day you weren't being so embarrassing."

Harry still didn't understand Draco's problem. If anything, he was more confused. "What does it mean, then?"

"It means...it means that they fancy each other."

“What does 'fancy' mean?” Harry asked with a puzzled frown.

“It means that they like each other like that. You know, they want to kiss and stuff.” Draco looked like he really didn't want to be talking about his parents fancying each other.

"But they say it to you..."

"That's because I'm younger than they are and they think I'm still a child. Plus it doesn't mean that when they say it to me."

"But you are a child, Draco."

"I am not!" Draco hated being called a child. To him, it meant the same as being weak and stupid.

Harry didn't get it, though. To him, it was simply a fact of life. "It's not something to be upset about. I'm a child too. Your whole school is full of children."

"Just because I'm young doesn't make me a child." Draco tried to explain the difference to Harry without having to tell him outright.

Harry rolled his eyes. Draco was so weird. "Whatever you say, Draco. I still don't get why we're too old to tell each other how we feel. I thought we were practically family."

“We are.”

“Then why?”

"Because!"

"Because whyyyy?" Harry felt himself driven to whinging in the face of Draco's stubbornness.

"Don't whinge, Potter, it is not becoming."

"Draco?"

Draco realized a bit late what he said and smacked his hand against his forehead. "I'm not mad, just irritated."

"But you called me 'Potter'. You only call me that when you're mad at me..." Harry pointed out softly. He didn't exactly know how he'd done it, but he'd pushed Draco's buttons.

Draco was reaching his boiling point. Harry was being irritating and asking too many questions and getting him all embarrassed. He just wanted him to shut up for a while. "I'M NOT MAD!"

"Then why are you yelliiiing?"

Draco had had enough. He couldn't stop his next words even if he had wanted to. "Potter, just SHUT UP!"

Harry's eyes watered and he turned away, not wanting Draco to see him cry. He didn't mean to make the older boy mad at him, he just didn't understand why he couldn't tell him he loved him... It wasn't anything to be ashamed of.

Lucius entered the room moments later and appraised the scene. Harry was standing off to one side, obviously trying not to cry, and his son was standing opposite the boy with a scowl on his face. "Draco, stop shouting. Malfoys do not shout."

Draco sighed and ran a hand across his face. He was so very tired all of a sudden. "Sorry, Father."

Lucius moved closer to the younger boy and tried to look into his eyes. "Are you quite all right, Harry?"

Harry held himself stiffly and expertly avoided the older man's gaze. "I'm fine, sir."

Lucius knelt down so that he was level with Harry. "You most certainly are not. You only call me 'sir' when you're upset. Did Draco say something ill-advised again?" Draco scowled harder. Why did everyone always assume that he had been the one to say something “ill-advised?” Harry was the one who started it with his stupid teasing.

"No, it's just me. It's no big deal. I'm fine." Harry was still looking resolutely away from the other people in the room. It was his problem; they didn't need to deal with it.

Draco sighed, not liking it when Harry withdrew. And, in a way, it was his fault. Best to apologize. "I'm sorry, Father. I yelled again, because he was saying things that...embarrassed me."

Lucius frowned. "Yes, you do tend to lash out when you're embarrassed."

Draco walked over to Harry and bent over, trying to get Harry to look at him. He used his softest voice to try and coax him out of his shell. "Hey, Harry, I'm sorry. It's just...when you say...that...when we're as old as we are...it means something different than what you think it does."

Lucius raised an eyebrow at his son, but didn't ask him to elaborate...yet.

Harry responded faintly, "I didn't mean anything by it... I just don't understand why I can't say it..."

Draco leaned closer and whispered into Harry's ear. "Because, it means the same as when my parents say it...and...that's embarrassing."

Harry's face flamed red and he ducked his head so that his fringe hid his eyes. "'m sorry, Draco. I didn't mean it that way. I meant it in the family way...you know that..." Lucius' interest was quite peaked now. He and Draco would be having a nice little chat as soon as they were done here.

"Do I? Sometimes, I don't know..." And sometimes Draco did wonder. Harry was strange and different than the other people he knew his age. He seemed to have more emotions, and showed them all freely.

"But, Dracoooo! You know I don't mean it that other way!"

Draco laughed, slipping himself out of his heavier thoughts. "Okay, okay. Keep your knickers on."

"Dracooooo, I don't wear knickers!"

As humorous as he found the situation, he was eager to end the conversation and start a new one with Draco about the secret things he and Harry had been talking about. "Draco, do stop teasing the boy. You'll make his poor little heart pop." Harry blushed furiously at that.

Draco smiled at the color on Harry's cheeks. Sometimes, the boy could be really cute. As he looked at the boy, he got an uncomfortable feeling in his lower extremities. "Sorry, Father, Harry. I need to go make sure everything is in order for tomorrow." With that, Draco left the room.

Lucius frowned inwardly, irritated that his son slipped through his fingers so easily. He turned to Harry and asked, "Are you okay now, Harry?"

"Yeah. I mean, yes."

Lucius laughed. Harry was always so concerned with being proper around him, even though they were at home and things were a little more lax there. "It's okay, Harry. You don't have to be proper all the time."

"I know...I just...I don't want to be an embarrassment."

"You won't be, especially not here in the Manor when we have no guests. Eventually, you will leave the house and go out amongst the people, and then, you will need to remember your lessons. But until then, we want you to be comfortable."

Harry leveled a brilliant smile on the man. "Thank you, Uncle Lucius."

Lucius smiled back, though not quite as brilliantly. "That's a lad. Now, would you like to join me for an afternoon snack? I'm afraid I skipped lunch today to prepare for a meeting this evening."

The smile only got brighter as Harry replied, "Sure!"

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

Harry was sat across from Lucius down in the dining room, a large fudge sundae settled in front of him, complete with a cherry and chopped nuts. Lucius was eating something much less sweet and sticky called a "panini", whatever that was. It looked like a flat grilled sandwich, though.

"Are you sure I can't go see Draco off tomorrow?" Harry asked again, for the twentieth time.

"It's not safe," Lucius answered once more.

"Isn't there some kind of magic that would make me invisible or something? No one would even know I was there..." Harry tried. He desperately wanted to see Draco off in person at the station, and not even to see the scarlet steam engine that Draco had described.

"Harry, even if there were magic to get you to the platform, it still wouldn't be safe. What if it wore off? What if someone recognized you and decided to take you away? What if you got lost? There are a lot of people there on the first of September." Lucius didn't see the need to inform Harry that there was magic that could do exactly what he asked. It would simply provide more fuel for his whinging questions.

"What if I promise to be really, really careful and be right next to you the whole time? Pleeeaaasssse? I really wanna go say goodbye to Draco and see the Hogwarts express." Harry tried for his best wounded puppy look. He thought it might have been better than the one he saw Draco use on his mother to get that extra desert the other night.

Lucius, used to the puppy dog eyes from years of dealing with Draco replied, "I'm sorry, Harry, but the answer is no. It would cast too bright a light on our family if something went wrong. You could be taken away, hurt. People would ask uncomfortable questions that we might not be able to answer. And the Dark Lord...if people knew...no. It's not worth it. You may say your goodbyes here before we leave in the morning."

Harry knew when to quit, and the time had come once more. It didn't make him any less disappointed, however. "Yes, sir."

Lucius hated it when Harry used that tone. It almost made him change his mind. "Harry..."

Harry shook his head and cast his eyes down, no longer wanting to eat his delicious ice cream treat. "I understand."

Moments later, the Dark Lord entered the room where he had heard voices. He caught sight of Harry's downtrodden expression and asked, "What has you so glum, Harry?"

Lucius twisted his mouth and answered, "He's sulking because I won't let him see Draco off at King's Cross tomorrow."

Voldemort nodded in understanding. He, too, had witnessed how dejected Harry could get when he was told 'no'. "Ah. He's quite right, Harry. It is much too dangerous to have you wandering about amidst hundreds of other children around your age. Plus their parents. Who knows who could be watching, waiting for the chance to pounce."

Harry's voice got quieter. "I know..." He still didn't have to like it.

"Don't worry, soon you'll be able to go and visit your parents. They're still asleep, mind you, but you'll be able to see their faces at least. Severus is finalizing things with a fellow teacher at Hogwarts as we speak. She was a very good friend of your parents', too. She doesn't know about you, as we couldn't risk her telling someone else, but she's letting Severus know when he might be able to go and avoid the two friends who are there."

Harry’s interest was piqued. He wanted to go see his parents. But he was confused as to why they had to avoid his parents' best friends. "Why do we want to avoid them? If they are friends of my parents, shouldn't I meet them?"

Voldemort gave the boy a fond smile. "Normally, yes. However, in this instance, it might not be wise. You see, they don't like Severus, Lucius or myself. And that means that if they knew you were alive and living with us, they'd not let you leave once they had you with them. You'd never be able to come back to the Manor, or see me, Lucius, Severus or Draco."

"What about Aunt Cissy?"

The Dark Lord rolled his eyes. He had thought she'd been a given, but obviously not. "Or her, though I'm not certain of that. I don't think they dislike her quite as much, as she's the cousin of one of your parents' friends."

"Is she?"

"Yes. Her cousin's name is Sirius Black. He and your father didn't get along well with Severus, when they were students."

"Oh..." Harry wondered if that was why Uncle Severus sometimes seemed cold to him. He knew from the photo album that he looked an awful lot like his dad.

"So, you see, it would be best if you didn't meet them quite yet. Perhaps once your parents wake up?"

“Yeah, that makes sense. Then Mom and Dad could see how happy I am here and tell their friends not to take me away."

Whilst Lucius and Voldemort were fairly certain that would never happen, they agreed with the boy to keep him from the truth as they saw it. "We're hoping it will be quite soon, in the next week or so."

"That would be nice. Maybe we can bring a camera and I can take pictures for Draco."

Just then said blond entered the room, looking in much better spirits than he had earlier. "Take pictures of what?"

Harry hadn't heard Draco enter the room, and hadn't seen him either, as he was sitting with his back to the door. "Oh, my parents."

"Don't you have tons of pictures of them?"

"Yeah, but they're all old ones. We're going to go see them soon, and I'm going to take pictures for you, since you'll be at school."

Draco frankly thought it wholly unnecessary. In his opinion, when you've seen one picture of someone, you've seen them all. "Oh, you don't have to. I know what they look like."

Harry frowned. He didn't understand why someone wouldn't want to look at a newer picture and compare it with an older one. He liked pictures, because they made him feel like he was still in the moment of time when they were captured. But if Draco didn't want to see any pictures of his parents, then he wouldn't show them to him. He'd keep them all for himself. "Oh...okay. I won't, then."

Lucius gave his son a look, though Draco pretended that he didn't understand it. He was getting a little tired of always tiptoeing around the other boy's feelings. If he didn't get used to people saying things he didn't like, then he'd always be effected by it.

Harry tried to give Draco a smile, but he was afraid it came out a bit sharper than he intended. "So, are you all packed, now?"

Draco didn't seem to realize, or ignored it if he did. "Yes. I have everything I should need for this year."

A little unsure of himself now, Harry asked, "Um...are you still going to take pictures for me?" He didn't know if Draco's attitude towards pictures of Harry’s parents were indicative of his feelings towards all pictures.

Draco rolled his eyes. He hated it when Harry went all timid. Time to rouse him out of his funk. "Of course I am, stupid."

There was a gleam in his eye that told Harry that it was a gentle rib and not a malicious jibe. Harry stuck his lip out in a pout, and before Draco's father could reprimand the blond, Harry responded. "I'm not stupid, stupid."

Draco's lip quirked in a smirk and felt his heart swell at Harry’s participation. "Who are you calling stupid, dummy?"

"Takes one to know one!"

"Still makes you one." Draco stuck out his tongue at Harry and began walking away. Harry abandoned his half-melted sundae and followed him out of the room.

"So, it makes you one too!"

Lucius and Voldemort shared a look that said they thought both boys were nutters. But it was a fond look that also conveyed how much they cared about them.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

Later that night, Harry crept into Draco's room and watched him sleep fitfully. He wanted to reach out and smooth the hair back that was stuck to his face, but he didn't want to wake the other boy up. Draco was so pretty, for a boy. His moon-pale hair shimmered in the faint light of the fire. His pale cheeks slightly rosy in sleep. And his lips petal-soft, the bottom one stuck out in a slight pout. Harry found himself transfixed. He felt something in his chest that he'd never felt before. It was warm and fluttery and made him feel strange. The warm, fluttery feeling made him want to bend down and press his slightly-chapped lips to Draco's.

Before he knew it, he was. His hair had grown a little longer over the last several months he'd lived at the Manor and now it brushed against Draco's cheeks has he hovered over him. His lips pressed softly to the smooth ones beneath them. It was a chaste peck, but it still filled Harry with a warmth he had never known before. When he straightened, it was to see Draco's eyes open and staring at him.

"What was that for?" the pale boy whispered.

"I just wanted to," Harry replied.

"Oh."

"Draco...?" Harry was overwhelmed with sadness all of a sudden. His mind whirled with thoughts of the day to come, and the months after that. He realized that this was his last night with Draco for some time. He didn't want it to end quite yet.

"Yeah?" Draco responded softly, voice still quiet with sleep.

"Would you mind...would you mind if I stayed here tonight? I'm scared of tomorrow."

Draco blinked his stormy grey eyes and responded, pulling the covers back so that Harry could lie next to him, "Sure. But, why are you afraid of tomorrow? This isn't the first time I've gone off to school."

Harry blushed and snuggled close to Draco, laying his head on the other boy's chest. "I know it's not...but...I didn't care about you this much when you left before. I was alone then... I don't...I don’t know how I'm going to survive while you're gone..."

The blond rolled his eyes, thinking Harry was being overly-dramatic. "Don't worry about that, Harry. Just because I'm not here physically doesn't mean that we'll be apart. I told you I'll send pictures and write. I'll do it every day. You can tell yourself that I'm just busy with lessons in another part of the house, and it won't feel as if I'm so far away. Plus, you're going to go see your parents."

Harry wrinkled his brow, not really understanding how going to see his parents would make him miss Draco any less. "It just...won't be the same. I'll miss you. And when I want to talk in the middle of the night, there won't be anyone here that I can crawl in bed with."

"Harry..." Draco didn't know what to say to that.

The younger boy took a deep breath and put a name to the warm, fluttery feeling he had first felt a little while ago. "I...I love you, Draco. And you're going away."

"I told you we're too old for that, Harry," Draco misunderstood.

"No, I mean it. I love you. I've never...never felt this way about anyone before. You mean everything to me. And that...that's why I'm scared of tomorrow. You're going to go away and forget about me. And I'll still be here, still loving you..."

Draco was shocked. He'd never had anyone confess something like that to him before. Not even Pansy, who always said she was going to get her parents to draw up a marriage contract with him. He wasn't sure how he should feel about the situation. "Harry..."

"I don't want you to go, Draco." Harry began crying softly, not used to feeling so much emotion. He clung to Draco and Draco let him, petting his hair gently like his mother used to do to him when he used to cry.

"Harry...I'm never going to forget you.” Here Draco paused and took a deep breath, saying something he wasn't completely certain he felt. “I...I love...you too. Don't tell a soul I said that...I'll deny it."

That got Harry to laugh, though he still had tears in his eyes. "I won't tell anyone...they wouldn't believe me anyways."

Draco was grateful that Harry wasn't offended. "Exactly."

Harry whispered to himself, though he didn't realize Draco was close enough that he could still hear, "But I'll know. And that's all that matters."

The older boy smiled and dropped a chaste kiss on the top of Harry’s head. "Hush and go to sleep, you sappy fool."

The younger boy smiled and snuggled into his beloved's chest. "You love me that way, remember."

Draco rolled his eyes in the semi-darkness. "Don't remind me."
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The Years After