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ONE LIFE TO LIVE	By : Mistress Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 9831 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Nor do I make any money off of writing in here.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
                                                                  CHAPTER FOURTEEN
                                                                             HERMIONE
Time seems to fly so fast that I don’t even notice it. Minutes turn into hours. Hours into days. Days into weeks. Life is going forward and things are happening around me, but all I can focus on are books. It seems like the library became my permanent place of residence. Days after days, I try to find something, anything that will help cure Severus and get Lucius out of his coma, but no matter how much I try, I just can’t find the solution. Professor Mcgonagal’s antidote potions are working, but not enough to get all the poison out of his system, so she is forced to produce bigger amount each time for them to actually work. Harry visits regularly and tells me the news about Ronald and his family, rebuilding of Hogwarts, our friends and the changes in the Ministry.
Thanks to his status of savior of the Wizarding World, he was able to convince the minister to release Narcissa’s body to her son, as well as remove most of the charges from the Malfoys. Their properties, save the Mansion are still seized though. I guess the Ministry is not really in a hurry to part with loads and loads of confiscated money from arrested death eaters. Another thing that the last few weeks had been full of, is funerals. Numerous friends and teachers who gave their lives for the greater good. The hardest ones to face were Fred’s, Lupin’s and surprisingly, Narcissa’s. It was the smallest one of all and if someone would tell me that I’d be among the ones holding her son’s hand while he says his last goodbyes to her I wouldn’t believe it, but then again, so many things have changed in a matter of past few weeks.
Fred’s funeral, became a sort of culmination to our relationship with Ronald. I hoped that he wouldn’t bring it up at a day like this, but I was wrong. I felt bad, but… Hopefully, he won’t stay mad at me forever. I wouldn’t want to lose a friend in him. I guess me not wanting to continue our relationship came as a shock to his whole family, so I figured keeping my distance for now would be the best thing to do. The only one who didn’t seem to judge me was Ginny. Her discovering that the man she had feelings for was gay, was a bit of a blow too. Though, unlike Ronald, she took it rather well. Harry told me that she constantly asks him to take her to see me, but he doesn’t know how well professor will react to another guest at his house. After all, only a handful of people know about our whereabouts.
I hear Harry’s voice and give my sore eyes a good rub.
- “Hermione”
Without answering, I keep rubbing my eyes. Feels like they’re full of sand. I guess not blinking for a while does that to you.
- “Hermione” he repeats louder.
My head feels like it’s gonna explode, I have a pounding headache and Harry’s voice just seems to add to it.
- “Hermione, will you answer me already?”
- “Stop yelling Harry. I heard you the first dozen times.” I finally bring my head up. “What do you want?”
- “I want you to concentrate on what I’m saying for a second.”
I nod my head.
- “You need to eat.”
- “I’m not hungry.”
- “I didn’t ask you if you were hungry. You need to eat and get out of this room for a while. Fresh air will do you some good.” He smiles and wrinkles his nose “As well as some shower”.
- “Harry, I can’t. I think I saw something that might be helpful.”
- “That was what you told me yesterday and the day before and the one before that.”
- “I know, but…”
- “But nothing. I’m not having it. You’re gonna step out of this room or I’ll put a full body bind on you and carry you out myself”
- “Harry…”
- “No, these are your two options. Besides, he wanted to see you.”
- “He did?”
- “Yeah, he told me so himself.”
- “Told you, but how…”
- “Well he didn’t really tell me, but I heard him. It’s weird really. He looks at me and I can hear him in my head. I think it’s some form of Legilimency or something. I don’t understand it fully, but… In any case, he asked for you.”
- “I don’t know, Harry. What will I tell him? How can I talk to him at all without making a fool of myself?”
- “I don’t know, but you can’t just continue hiding in here.”
I shake my head and take a deep breath. He’s right. We stay quiet for a minute before I look at him again. – “Have you spoken to Draco? I mean, did you tell him that… um…”
- “No. Though we’ve gotten closer a bit, I guess. I mean he’s grieving and I understand. I just don’t want to make it weird, you know.”
- “Yeah”
- “You should go. I can stay here and do some more research if you think it will help.”
- “That would be great. Maybe you’ll find something that I keep missing.”
He smiles – “You, missing something? Is that even a possibility?”
I give him a weak smile – “I won’t be long.”
I walk upstairs and stop by the door. Draco is there, by his father and I don’t want to disturb his time with him with my presence, but as soon as he notices me he brings his head up. The look that he gives me is full of hope. I hate myself for not being able to give him any good news, so I do what little I can and just smile.
- “Malfoy”
- “Granger. Did you find anything? Harry told me you’ve been doing a lot of research.”
- “No, nothing yet. Sorry” I say, noticing that somehow Potter became Harry in a matter of these few weeks.
- “Thank you anyway. You don’t have to do it you know.”
- “I know”
- “I appreciate it though. Sorry I haven’t been much help.”
- “Don’t be. You just went through a lot. I only hope that I’ll be able to find something that will actually help.”
- “Yeah, that would be great. I’ll join you in the library if you don’t mind”
- “Of course not. No offence to Harry, but I don’t think that his knowledge in potions and attention to detail, or to be correct, the lack of will be of much help.”
He smiles genuinely before getting up and exiting the room – “You’re alright, Granger.”
- “You too, Malfoy.”
As he exits, I slowly approach the bed and sit carefully on the corner. Professor looks like he’s sleeping and I can’t help but to stare at him. He looks really week and paler than usual. The venom in his system has taken a tall not only on his vocal cords, but on every organ in his body. Finally he opens his eyes.
- “Miss Granger” I hear his voice in my head. It sounds just as I remember it, smooth and low, but without its usual malice.
- “Hello professor. Draco said that you wanted to see me.”
- “I did” he says looking at me, as if trying to find the right question to ask. I wait patiently, till he finally continues. “I know that you’ve been spending quite some time in the library, trying to find the solution to our… situation. May I ask what exactly were you able to find?”
- “Unfortunately, not a whole lot. Some of the potions I found are way more advanced than the ones we went over in class and even if I was able to brew them, I’m not sure if they would be of much help in our situation. I haven’t seen anything that would help get the person out of coma or to help Professor Mcgonagal remove all of Nagini’s venom from your system. But I’m not nearly done with all the books that you have, professor. I’m sure I’ll find something one of these days. I just need a bit more time. You have quite the library, you know.”
- “I appreciate your effort Miss Granger, but the reason you haven’t been able to find a solution is right in front of you. You have simply been searching for the wrong thing.”
- “Wrong thing?”
- “You heard me girl, stop pretending to be a parrot.”
- “Sorry professor. Please continue.”
- “Among the books in the library, there is one with potions and spells of my own creation. A diary of sorts. In that book, there is a powerful potion that comes alongside with just as powerful spell that will allow to put a person into a permanent state of deep unconsciousness that will last for a prolonged or even indefinite period of time. Because the venom in my system is powerful and will kill me without taking anything to subdue its distructive qualities, I suggest you come up with some sort of concoction that will allow a 24/7 flow of the potion into my veins. Once that’s done, you will be able to live your life without constant fear for your own.”
Once done talking, he looks at me patiently, as if waiting for the information to sink in. I can’t believe that he would suggest something like that. How shallow does he think I am? On the other hand, why would he have a reason to believe me not to be? Not like anyone ever gave up an opportunity to use him for their own benefit, once said opportunity presented itself.
- “You know, I expected a different reaction from you, Miss Granger. After all, I just gave a solution to the problem you so desperately have been searching for and all you can do is to stare at me with your mouth open. Will you be saying something any time soon, or are you posing for a human fly catcher?”
I stare at him without saying a word. Not that I don’t have anything to say, actually it’s quite the opposite. The conflicting feelings inside of me are bubbling up and just waiting for a chance to spill out. I say quiet until I’m finally able to control myself and produce something normal.
- “After all the years that you taught me Professor, I thought you’d take me for something more than a common leach. You’d really expect me to just use you and Mr Malfoy in that way and just go about living my life as if nothing has happened?”
- “What I expect you to do is to be rational and as much as I appreciate your Griffindor bravery, the solution I just offered you might and most probably is your only choice of action.”
- “I don’t believe it”
- “What you believe Ms Granger is of no relevance. You need to do something that is right. Without it, I’m afraid I won’t be able to survive much longer, no matter the amount if potion professor Mcgonagal gives me. Every dosage that I take last shorter than the last one and therefore loses its effect on the venom in my system. There is simply not enough time to come up with anything else and I doubt that there’s anything at all that would be an antidote for Nagini’s venom. As for Mr Malfoy here, his condition is so week that anything can trigger his heart to fail at any time and if he goes and I am too week to fight, I’ll go right after him and in that case, what do you think will happen to you?”
- “I… still it can’t be. There should be something… anything. I can’t just…do something like that.”
- “As I said Ms Granger, you simply don’t have any other choice, so I suggest you get to it as soon as possible. I will tell you where to look for the book and if you will bring all the necessary equipment here, I will guide you through all the steps of brewing the needed potion. Once it’s done, I’ll show you the spell.”
As he talks, I can’t stop wondering if there really is no limit to this man’s courage. Or is it the fact that he wants to go so much that he is willing to do anything for it.
- “Professor may I ask you a question?”
- “I don’t remember a single thing that would stop you from doing it before Ms Granger and I’m sure I won’t find it now, so go ahead and ask.”
- “Why do you do it, sir? Why do you offer me something like that?”
For a second his eyes get even darker, the expression on his face hardens and I can almost see those mental walls rising to prevent anyone from peaking in so I wait, fully expecting him to lash out and say it’s none of my business and that I can ether take his offer or get the hell out and not bother showing my face to him again. Strangely, after a few short moments I see his features relax, his face taking soft, almost gentle expression, something I never knew him being capable of.
-“I did a lot of mistakes in my life Ms Granger. Giving you this chance will hopefully rectify at least some of them.”
- “But you’re willing to let me continue with my own life while you and Lucius both lay there without a chance to ever open your eyes again. How can I ever live knowing the price you both pay for it?”
He takes a deep breath as if gathering all his strength and extends his hand to me. Without thinking, I put my hand into his and feel a slight pressure as he squeezes it lightly.
- “Your life is only starting. Now that the war is over, you have a bright future in front of you and I want to make sure you’re alive to see it.”
- “And Draco? What of him? He just lost his mother. How can I do this to him?”
- “I’ll talk to him myself. He’ll understand.”
My heart catches in my throat and the next thing I know my eyes fill up with tears. I start sobbing while still trying to form some coherent words in my head.
- “I can’t do this. Please, I need a few days. Just a few more days and I’ll come up with something, I promise.”
- “Miss Gran…” He sighs. “Hermione, don’t you think that enough time was already wasted on this? Trust me, you are not the only one who thought about finding a solution to this. I was thinking about it since the day Draco and I brought Lucius and you here and what you’re trying now to find in the books, I already thought of before. The choice I just gave you is the only thing that can save your life and if you have at least a little bit of self-preservation, you will take it. You don’t need to feel guilty. I lived my life and so did Lucius. Now it’s time for you to live yours.”
I feel his hand squeezes around mine again ever so slightly. Without giving it a second thought, I bring it to my lips a place a light kiss on his knuckles. I feel his body jerk involuntarily as if he was just burned and his eyes grow wide. His lips move and his voice, his real voice is nothing more than a whisper.
- “Miss Granger…”
Shit, I fucked up. I made a total idiot out of myself. What the hell is wrong with me? How will I ever be able to look at him again? Before he can say anything else, I flee from the room as fast as I can. As I rush down the stairs, I almost hit Draco. He’s trying to ask me something, but I just run without answering, leaving him standing on the stairs.
Finally I’m in the library again. My heart races hundred miles an hour as I pace the room. Shit, shit, shit. Now what? What am I supposed to do? Before I know it, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Without even looking I already know who it is. Tears start flooding my eyes and I turn, wrapping my hands around Harry’s strong shoulders.
- “Mione, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Come on, you know you can tell me. What did professor say to you?”
He keeps his embrace tight, giving me time to calm down and collect myself. I love him for that. Somehow he always manages to stay strong for me, even in the most hopeless situations.
- “He doesn’t want to live, Harry. He wants me to use some awful potion and spell that will put both of them into a permanent coma and will let me just continue with my life without a bother in the world.”
- “There’s something that will allow that?”
- “Apparently yes. I’ll just need to make sure that his body is provided with a 24/7 flow of an antidote. A muggle IV of some sort.”
For a few short moments, silence stretched between us until I finally look into my friend’s eyes.
- “Harry, you’re not really considering this”
- “Well I… I just can’t believe that he would offer something like that to you. I mean it’s Snape we’re talking about”
- “Harry. I can’t believe you’re even thinking about it. What about Draco? He just lost his mother and instead of trying to find something that will help bring Lucius back, I’ll be making sure he never wakes up. How do you expect me to look him in the eyes ever again?”
- Mione I… Listen what I’m trying to say is that if he offered you this choice, don’t you think he already thought of all the other options?”
- “I’d rather die than do something like that.” My words are barely above a whisper when suddenly it hits me. Oh my God Harry, this is it.”
- “What is?”
- “There is no reverse to this life sharing curse, it’s like an unbreakable wow. The only chance to break it is to die.”
- “I know, but… What are you saying?”
- “To escape our curse, all three of us need to die.”
- 13
- 14
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ONE LIFE TO LIVE