Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

His saviour	By : Kruemel Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 16367 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I do not make money of this writings.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
The lost friend

After the warding, Severus sat in his living room a glass of fire whiskey in his hands and thought about how much his life had changed in the last couple of days. He had a sadness in him when he thought about the man he had trusted. He felt guilty going behind his back and forming an allegiance that would destroy him. Dumbledore took a chance on him 18 years ago and gave him a second chance, although had he known that Dumbledore would turn out to be evil himself, he probably wouldn´t had gone to him for help. But still, he was a big part of Severus´s life and he mourned the loss of his confidant. He then thought about Harry Potter. He was fascinated with him. Harry didn´t know but he was a born leader. He forgave with such ease and had an extraordinary talent for reading people and because of his own past was very sympathetic and intuitive.
At that moment Harry opened the lit on the trunk and looked out of it.
“Do you know a spell that can sort the books into topics and put them away?” He asked.
“Yes, we can do it later when your friends are back.” Hermione, Ron and Ginny left for Gryffindor tower to pack their things. “Do you want something to drink? We could talk for a bit.”
“That would be nice.” Harry answered and climbed out of the trunk. He took his seat next to Severus and called Kreacher to bring him a butterbeer. “How are you?” Harry asked.
“Overwhelmed.” Severus told him.
“Me too, and confused, angry, scared, relieved. It´s exhausting.” They sat there in silence. “Can I ask you something?” Harry looked at him and he nodded. “I know you knew my parents and I know you hate my father. What did you think about my mum? Did you know her well?” Snape looked at him thoughtful.
“Yes, I knew her very well. She was my best friend growing up. The memory you saw in my pensive was the end of our friendship. I met her even before we got to school, and she was the most kind-hearted person I know. I always hoped that we would reconcile one day. I miss her very much still. You know that I was the one that overheard the prophesy and told it to the dark lord. What you don´t know is that, as soon as I heard that the dark lord made her his target, I changed sites and from that point on became a spy.” He looked at him sadly.
“Can I ask why you joint him in the first place?” Snape looked down at his hands.
“I was mostly influenced by my family. My mother was a great woman. She was loving and cared very much about my brothers. I am the youngest in my family and my mother died giving birth to me. That was the point my father decided that magic is bad. I grew up in similar circumstances then you. I was never assaulted sexually but the beadings were rough. My older brother´s tried to protect me from the worse and they did. They were beaten much more often, and hatred started to form in them. Unlike you they didn´t focus the hate on the one person responsible for it, but they concluded that all muggles are bad. It was easy for the dark lord to persuade them to join him. I who had witnessed my father’s cruelty wasn´t as keen to blame all muggles in general and for a good reason. I knew your mother and her family. Your aunt was the only one I didn´t like because she treated Lily horrible after she got her Hogwarts letter.” He trailed of for a moment.
“Lily talked a lot about how sad she was that she lost her best friend because of who or what she is. She didn´t realise that her sister was dying of jealousy. When we came to Hogwarts and I was sorted into Slytherin I´d thought I lost her. Even back then the animosity between our houses was great and I thought when the other Gryffindors told her how bad all the Slytherins are, she wouldn´t want to be my friend anymore. I should have known her better. We stayed close, and she always defended me against your father. She didn´t like him very much and couldn´t stand his friends either. Except for Remus. He was the most kind of them all probably because he knew what it was like to be discriminated.”
“I had friends in Slytherin too of course but Lily always kept me from being sucked into the dark. The day I called her… you know what, you saw, you have to believe that I didn´t mean it.” He looked at him pleadingly.
“I was humiliated in front of half the school only because your father was bored. It always was because he was bored, and he NEVER got in trouble for it. He made my life hell, but it was okay because I had something he wanted and couldn´t have, her friendship. When your mother came to my aid the humiliation became much worse, not because she saved me but because I wasn´t able to help myself. I snapped and let my frustrations out at the wrong person. As soon as I said it, I knew I lost her forever. I lost the light in my life, so I lost my way. I was so angry that again I suffered, and worse than ever before, because of your father. He bullied me and I lost my only true friend. The only person that knew who I really was, and I broke. It was easy for Lucius and my brothers to lead me to the dark site because I was in the dark already.” By then tears were running down Harry´s face.
“If the dark lord wants to recruit you, he is kind to you and very generous. He paid for my potions mastery and convinced me that his life mission is to build a better world where we wouldn´t have to hide anymore. I knew all the world saw him evil, but I liked him. That was until I got marked and everything changed. I confronted my brother´s and asked them why they didn´t warn me but they were too far gone. The hatred for my father blinded them and they became evil. I regretted joining him one hour after I got the mark when he raped me while I was writhing under the cruciatus curse, screaming. He didn´t stop laughing ones. He cut me and beat me and tore me open and expected me to thank him afterwards, to tell him I love him and was for ever his. That night when I got home, I wanted to kill myself but was too scared to go through with it. I also was too scared to turn my back on him. The dark lord ordered me to go to Hogwarts and teach and I was glad for it. That meant I was away from him most of the time. Like I already told you, I found my courage again when he threatened your mother and that was enough for me to turn on him.”
“You speak of her as if you loved her.” Harry said.
“I did, but not in the way you think. I think it would be easiest to tell you that I loved her like you love Hermione. You would die to save her, but she is not the one for you.” Harry nodded relief running through him.
“That is a sad story. I´m sorry you didn´t deserve such a life.”
“Neither did you Harry.” He smiled at him.
“Thank you, for telling me. I never knew so much about my parents. Thank you for trusting me. I will not tell another soul.”
“I wish you could have known her.” Snape said looking at him sadly and took his hand. He gently rubbed his finger over the back of his hand before he came to a stop and looked at it. Harry tried to pull it away, but Severus held it harder and stared at it.
“Why did you do that?”
“I didn´t, well I guess I did but against my will. In fifth year Umbridge let me write ´I must not tell lies´ for detention and she gave me a blood quill to do it.”
“Why didn´t you tell someone? She was torturing you. The use of blood quills is illegal. That woman should rot in Azkaban right know.”
“Right because Fudge would have arrested her. He sent her here. I also thought I deserve it back then because Cedric died. It was all my fault you know. I insisted that we take the cup together so we both win. I saved him from some monster not long before and he told me I deserve it. If I wouldn´t have been such a Gryffindor I would have taken it for myself, but my stupid honour came in the way.”
“I heard rumours about that. It was not your fault Harry you couldn´t have known.” Snape said stroking his hand again.
“I know that now but back then, I was traumatized and even more so after the summer with my relatives. I couldn´t see it like it is.” Suddenly Harry began laughing. “The sorting head wanted to put me into Slytherin you know, I can´t help but wonder if I would have done things differently.” Snape stared at him.
“The head wanted you in Slytherin? Then why are you not in my house?”
“I asked him not to put me there. I think I said ´not Slytherin everything but Slytherin´ a thousand times in my head before he put me into Gryffindor.” Harry laughed again. Severus didn´t look happy.
“Tell me why didn´t you want to come in my house?”
“Different reasons. First one, I knew that Riddle was there when he went to school. Second, I met Malfoy twice and I didn´t like him very much. The first time was at madam malkins before we got to school. He reminded me of my cousin, you know the spoiled brat you always thought me to be. I met Ron on the train, and he was nice to me. He was the first kid to ever be nice to me and then Draco came in and made fun of him. He told me that some wizard families are better than others and that he could help me to not be associated with the wrong kind. I told him I can tell the wrong kind for myself, thank you very much, and that was it. Everyone I talked to told me that Slytherins are cunning and calculating and not… nice essentially. So, I didn´t want to go there.”
“With that kind of reasoning I can see why you wouldn´t. It makes me so angry that everyone sees my house as evil. Yes, Slytherins are cunning and calculating but mostly because they had to be their entire life´s. Many Slytherins have a bad home life, many are cunning because they must be in order to survive. Most of them only turn to the dark site because they are treated as enemies as soon as the sorting had calls out Slytherin. I wish I could change that.”
“Maybe we can. Not right away and not all at ones but we can make it a priority. Dumbledore would be so angry it would be fun to watch.”
“You surprise me every time when you say something like that.”
“Why I know there is at least one Slytherin alive that is not bad. Their must be more and it´s not like every Gryffindor is good. Look at Pettigrew and Dumbledore.”
“Just don´t confuse not bad with good, there is a big difference.”
“I know you are good.” Harry said.
“No, I´m not. I…” but Harry interrupted him.
“Yes, you are. You lost your way, but you found it again. You are good, I would bet my life on it.” Harry said with all the conviction he got. Snape looked at him and raised his hand to cub Harry´s face.
“You are a strange man Harry Potter,” he said looking deep into his eyes. He leaned closer to Harry not breaking eye contact.
Harry´s heart pounded faster and faster the closer Severus got. Harry shuddered in anticipation and closed his eyes. Just before their lips met, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Harry jumped up, startled by the sudden noise and hurried to climb in the trunk. His heart raced and he sat down at the end of the staircase.
We almost kissed, he WANTED to kiss me. A smile crept on his face by the thought of it. The lit of the trunk opened and Harry looked up at his friends.
- 13
- 14
- 15
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His saviour