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Shattered	By : Adriana Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 11986 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Shattered

By Adriana

trixielou60@hotmail.com

The usual disclaimers apply.
**********************************

Everything's so blurry

and everyone's so fake

everybody's empty and

everything is so messed up

pre-occupied without you

I cannot live at all

my whole world surrounds you

I stumble and I crawl

and you could be my someone

you could be my scene

you know that I'll protect you

from all of the obscene

I wonder what you're doing

imagine where you are

there's oceans in between us

but that's not very far
~From the song "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd
*************************************
Chapter 15: Empty
It came as no surprise to anyone that Hermione threw herself into her work
with an intense, if not breakneck abandon. It completely and utterly consumed her
to the point that Draco was beginning to pout and Albus was giving her
increasingly worried looks. "If I don't slow down soon," she
thought, "I'm facing either being snogged senseless by one or getting
fatherly advice from the other."
Neither prospect held much appeal.
A treacherous part of her mind whispered. "Draco is a very good
kisser, though." She chuckled softly to herself. "It must be
the lack of sleep, I'm going off my rocker."
Pushing herself away from her desk, she allowed herself a moment to think
about Severus. It had been almost six weeks since they'd parted. Not a day went
by, not an hour, when she didn't pause from her work to think about him . . .
to wonder what he was doing, how he was feeling. But not too often, and not for
very long. She'd think about him briefly, then she'd plunge back into her work,
determined to finish as quickly as possible. She longed to lose herself in the
thought of him, to immerse herself in her memories, but she had to stay
focused. Years of disciplined thinking had taught her that such indulgences
could wait. But it was hard not to feel empty.
"Keep working, Hermione," she told herself. "The
big payoff is coming."
There were times, however, where no matter how hard she tried to fight it,
the thought of him brought an unbearable sadness to her heart. He was all alone
. . . she could scarcely endure the thought. It was in those moments that she
felt her emotional control slipping and it was only with great effort that she
pushed him from her mind. "He's been alone all his life," she
thought. "He can handle it a little while longer." The only
time she allowed herself to deeply contemplate him was late at night, as the
fire was dying and the shadows faded on the w of of her oom.oom. When she was
lying in her bed, drifting off to sleep, she imagined him . . . that she was
with him, soothing his solitude. She'd imagine his lips on her neck and his
scent on her skin. She'd run her hands through his soft hair, whispering words
of love. At those times, late at night, she could sense him in her bones and
her blood and he seemed to permeate her very molecules.
She had wild, sexual dreams about him.
At others times she could think a him him rationally and it was then that
she saw the humour in her situation. After all, there had been many years she'd
wanted to forget Severus Snape even existed, and here she was, all lovesick and
longing for him. "Blegh," she thought. "I'm in love
with my greasy git former teacher. How appalling." She had to be
honest with herself, though. From the moment he'd touched her cheek at Poppy
Pomfrey's funeral, she'd never thought of him the same way again.
It was as simple as that.
A soft knock vibrated from her front door and Hermione opened it, surprised
to see Draco standing there with an expectant look on his face.
"Yes? Do we have a 'date' or something?" She struggled to
remember.
He pushed his way in. "Hullo, darling. You look terrible, by the way. I
was going to see if you wanted to take a stroll, but I don't know if I want to
be seen with you in public." His insolent silver eyes raked her over.
"Don't you own a hairbrush?"
Her hand instantly shot up to her hair before she frowned and shook her
head. "I don't know why I let you bait me," she sighed. He grinned at
her, then his face turned sober.
"Seriously, Hermione. I'm dead worried about you, love. Don't get me
wrong, I'm all for giving it all to the Light, but you need to get out, to get
some sunshine. You've no colour to your cheeks. Get your cloak, I won't take no
for an answer."
"You're probably right. I've been working for six hours without a break
and I need to stretch. Maybe we can get something to eat?"
Draco looked relieved. "I'm chuffed to hear it," he grinned, and
then he hesitated. "We can talk about him, if you want. I know you miss
him."
She looked at Draco with affection. "You know, you're really not so
bad," she said, as she smiled up at him.
"You have no idea," he thought sadly.
**********************************************
The crisp January air was thankfully lit by a bright, blinding sunshine and
Hermione felt her spirits lift as she and Draco strolled through Hogsmeade,
hand in hand. For once, he neglected to make a big show of their 'relationship'
and instead, he spoke to her in quiet, intimate tones. Finding a bench perched
on a little hill off the path, they sat in silence, enjoying the playful
spectacle of the squirrels chasing each other around the trees.
Draco put his arm around her and leaning close, he whispered, "I know
this has been hard on you, not spending Christmas or New Year's Eve with Uncle
Severus."
Hermione gave him an appraising look. "I thought I told you there's
nothing between us. Don't you believe me?"
Draco rolled his eyes. "No," he said bluntly. "Not even a
little bit. I've seen you two together, remember?"
She nodded. "I miss him more than I thought possible," she said
sadly. "I get updates from Albus and I've read his notes, but it's not the
same as working with him. We're getting close to completing the potion, but
I've been waiting for Voldemort to ask for me. Our plan won't work unless
Voldemort thinks I've turned to the Dark Side."
Draco felt his gut tighten. Ever since he'd told Voldemort about the Soul
Shattering Potion, the Dark Lord had acted as if his interest in Hermione was
waning. Draco had been developing his own plan, something he hoped was going to
save them all, but it wasn't going to work unless Voldemort confided in him and
told him how he was going to deal with the Potion. Without that information,
Draco would be unable to formulate a response. The good news was that he'd been
able to convince Voldemort and his father that Taryn Butler had murdered Uncle
Severus. But he was still no closer to finding out what the Dark Lord had
planned. He was scared to death that he'd ruined everything.
Somewhere along the way, The Order of the Phoenix had come to mean more to
him than he'd ever thought possible.
"Draco? Is something wrong? You look distressed."
He hung his head. "I'm worried about the plan, Hermione. Voldemort is
not confiding in me like he used to. If I don't get some useful information
soon, I don't know how we're going to pull this off." He turned to her and
she was surprised to see the anxiety in his eyes.
She rubbed his hand soothingly. "Everything will work out, I can feel
it. I suppose we're just going to have to be patient."
For a brief moment, Draco contemplated telling her everything. It would be
such a relief to confide in someone he trusted. However, his naturally
secretive nature made it such that he could not tell anybody the truth, at
least not until he knew more about Voldemort's plan for Hermione. The less
said, the safer they all were, for now.
Instead, he changed the subject.
"So tell me about you and Uncle Severus. I'll bet he's a wild man in
bed . . . does he make a lot of noise?" Hermione gave him an outraged
look. "You know, you can always spot the wild ones," he added.
"They're usually so bloody controlled in their daily lives, but under the
sheets-- Ow, ow!"
Hermione had punched him in the arm.
Draco laughed softly. "Really, Hermione, I'm intrigued," he said.
"I've never known Severus to care about anyone or anything. He had to be
that way in order to be a successful spy. Out of everyone in my family, he was
the coldest, meanest bastard of them all, and that's saying something."
She sighed. "I can well believe it. I hated him for years, after all.
He was very hard on us Gryffindors during school. It wasn't until I came back
to Hogwarts that I really got to know him. I think I understand why he is the
way he is. He's had such a terrible life, I can only imagine the things he's
had to endure." She remembered the feelings she got when she touched his
Dark Mark and shivered.
Draco nodded. "That's very perceptive of you. No wonder he cares about
you so much. Nobody has every taken the time to understand him. It wasn't until
I became a Death Eater that I knew how hard things were for him. I remember . .
. " He abruptly stopped.
"What? What do you remember?"
"It's not a pleasant story, Hermione. But maybe if I tell you, you'll
understand why I respect him so much. It's really because of him that I've been
able to do the whole Death Eater thing." He paused to rub his face with
both hands and when he finally looked at her, she was surprised to see a shadow
of sadness in his eyes.
"When I was fourteen I witnessed something really terrible, something
that changed my whole way of thinking," he began. "You know how I was
raised. I was taught to believe that Malfoys were superior to anybody walking on
this Earth. Power was everything, cruelty was to be applauded and nothing was
to stand in the way of getting what you wanted. That's why we joined Voldemort
in the first place."
Hermione looked at him with pity. "What about love? Was there no room
for love in your world?"
"Love," said Draco harshly. "I don't think so. Love was for
the weak. Love was to be scorned. To this day, I don't think I know anything
about love, although I'm learning," he added. "But at one time, I
fancied myself in love."
Fascinated, Hermione squeezed his hand, urging him to continue.
"In the summer after our fourth year, I got to know a girl, a shy
little thing, really. Her father and Lucius were 'business partners', which
really meant that they were both involved with Voldemort. She had absolutely no
idea." Hermione noticed his hands were shaking. "Her name was Yvette
and she went to Beauxbatons."
Breaking himself away from her, he stood suddenly.
"I don't know if I can do this," he rasped. He clenched his fists
and almost looked as if he was going to cry. In all the years she'd known him,
she'd never seen him look more vulnerable and sad.
"What happened, Draco?" Hermione asked gently. "You can tell
me, I won't tell a soul." She tugged on his sleeve, urging him to sit back
down.
Draco looked at her, as if he were gauging the truth in her words.
"Nobody can know about this. If anybody finds out, I'm dead."
Hermione nodded.
Sitting back down, Draco continued with his story. "Yvette and I were
friends at first. I was pretty lonely. In those days both my mum and I were
getting the shit knocked out of us on a regular basis."
Hermione looked surprised. "I had no idea," she said.
"Well of course you didn't, you stupid git," he said scornfully
and his face scrunched up in disdain. For a moment, Hermione was reminded of
the boy she despised in school. Before she could take offense, his face
immediately softened. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be taking it out on you.
Nobody knew what my er wer was doing to us. I was beginning to rebel and Lucius
was not taking it very well. He thought he could 'beat some sense' into me. I
guess it didn't take," he said proudly.
"Good for you," Hermione encouraged him. "So what happened to
the girl?"
Draco's face darkened. "Like I said, we became friends at first. I'd
never really had any friends, certainly not any real ones. I know that comes as
no surprise to you," he said sardonically. Hermione resisted the urge to
snort. She had to be very careful with her reactions, she knew.
"She used to come and stay at our house, while our fathers conducted
their 'business'," Draco continued. "She was very beautiful . . .
long blond hair, great big blue eyes. I think she was probably too gentle for
the life that had been chosen for her. I knew that her father was trying to
forge an alliance with us and Lucius encouraged the relationship between us.
For once, I was happy with his direction in my life. Yvette was smart and funny
and I found myself really falling for her. To my utter surprise, she felt the
same way about me. We spent many hours together that summer. Then came that
terrible night."
Draco stood up again and began to pace in front of the bench. Hermione kept
herself very still, mesmerized by his story.
"We were young and we thought we were in love. She was staying in a
bedroom down the hall from me and we planned on meeting that night. I thought I
was finally going to lose my virginity." He grinned briefly. "A boy's
dream come true, right? Well, instead --" He paused, unable to continue.
Hermione suddenly stood up and wrapping her arms around him, she gave him a
tight hug. "You can do this," she whispered. "You have to tell
someone."
Turning his head to her ear, he whispered, "Instead, my father
kidnapped her and took her to a Dark Revel that was occurring at our house that
night. Apparently her father double-crossed Lucius in a business deal andtherther thought he'd teach the man a lesson he'd never forget. When I couldn't
find her, I starting looking for her around the house. Like all old, pureblood
families, we had dungeons under the Manor. I made my way there and saw the
Death Eaters gathered there. Everyone had their backs to me, so I found a spot
in a dark corner and hid behind a chair. Yvette was laid out on a table before
the Dark Lord and she was bound and naked. I barely recognized her. She was
bleeding heavily from wounds to her head and chest and she was letting out
these pitiful wails."
Draco suddenly pulled away from Hermione, turning his back on her. "I
can't . . . I just can't," he whispered in anguish.
Hermione walked up behind him and put her arms around his waist. Laying her
head against his back she said, "Yes, you can. You're strong, like your
uncle. You can do this."
Draco took a deep, shuddering breath. "They took turns raping her while
her father watched. Some of them put knives in a fire before using them to stab
her. Not everyone participated, but when it came to be Uncle Severus' turn, he
just pointed his wand at her and cast the Killing Curse. It was the most
merciful thing I've ever witnessed. Isn't that ironic?"
Hermione fought the bile that rose in her throat. "Oh Draco! How
horrible for you both! That poor, poor girl!"
He turned to her and Hermione was sure that she'd never forget the look on
his face.
"I ran away, Hermione. Uncle Severus told me later that he saw me when
I came in, so after the revel, he went looking for me. He found me in the
gardens, puking my guts out. I was crazed, telling him I was going to kill them
all for what they'd done to her. His reaction surprised me."
"What did he say?"
"He said, 'In due time, my boy. In due time.' It was then I realized that
he was really a spy. When I looked at him, I could see that his face was
bruised and swollen and that his nose had been broken. He was even missing a
few of his front teeth. Apparently Voldemort didn't like his spoiling their
fun." Draco ran a restless hand through his hair.
"That was the beginning of the end for me," he said. "Later,
my father told me that he'd had a falling out with her father and that Yvette
had left with him that night. I was never to speak of her agaWhenWhen I went
back to Hogwarts my fifth year, I spent a lot of time with Uncle Severus. He
didn't tell me he was a spy at first, it took him a while to trust me, but
eventually, we both planned my future. I was to remain the arrogant bastard and
become a Death Eater, just like dear old Dad. I've had to empty my soul at
times, but I've been planning my betrayal of Voldemort ever since . . . we both
have. Harry Potter may get all the glory, but Uncle Severus is my hero."
Hermione was stunned.
"That is one of the most incredible stories I've ever heard," she
said quietly. She hesitated. "It explains a lot and I know it was very
difficult for you to tell me this. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I
am."
Draco snorted. "Don't feel sorry for me, Hermione. I hate that
shit." He managed a lopsided grin.
Knowing what he was doing, Hermione played along. "You know, when a
girl feels sorry for a guy, he's that much closer to getting laid."
Draco looked delighted. "You think so?" he asked eagerly.
"I'll have to remember that. So what are you saying? Are you trying to
seduce me? Because if you are . . . I'm game!" He pulled her close to him.
She laughed.
"Severus would kill us both, you git."
"I know, but it might be worth it."
She shook herd atd at him. "Shut up and walk with me . . . I'm
hungry," she said, in a commanding tone. As they made their way back to
town, Hermione spoke suddenly. "Draco, in case you still think you've
never had any real friends, I can assure you that you have one in me. I'll
never tell anyone what you've told me, not even Harry."
Speechless, Draco nodded.
Arm in arm, they walked together in silence.
***********************************************
Albus Dumbledore was in a good mood, which wasn't saying much. From the time
he'd been a child, he'd been blessed with a sunny disposition which irritated
almost everyone he knew. Even during the darkest hours of war, he managed to
summon a bit of optimism, which kept him sane while madness was going on all
around him. He whistled while he stirred a bit of honey in his tea.
He just couldn't help himself.
He wondered about Hermione and her reaction to her separation from Severus.
Albus knew all the signs and he was sure about one thing. Hermione Granger was
madly in love.
And Severus Snape wasn't far behind her.
Albus chuckled. This was a most surprising turn of events. He'd known
Severus since he was a young boy at Hogwarts and he'd despaired that anyone or
anything could penetrate his empty heart. There had been many times that Albus
thought Severus was going to break from the strain, but the Potions Master
proved to be stronger than anybody realized. Albus would summon him up to his
chambers and they'd quietly share a drink together while Severus filled him in
on the latest news of the Death Eaters. Somehow, Albus would manage to
encourage him to go on and once or twice he even suggested that Severus quit
the spy business altogether. He feared that he'd never make it out alive.
Severus had been adamant. "War is a dirty business, Albus, you know
that," he'd once said. "I have nothing in my life that's worth
having, so it might as well be me doing it." Albus felt an unspeakable
sadness for the man.
"Maybe Hermione will change his life," he thought. "She's
already changed him in the few short months she's been here. If anybody
deserves to be loved and respected, it's Severus Snape."
Walking over to his bookshelf, he plucked the book that held the portal to
Severus' new world. Opening it, he quietly called out to him.
"Severus? Are you awake?"
The Potions Master's response was immediate. "I'm here, you old
blighter! Can't a person get any peace around here?" Severus couldn't hide
the irritation in his voice. Albus sighed in relief. Severus was barking at
him, which was a good sign.
"I'm sorry to contact you at this late hour. I just wanted a quick
update. How's your progress?"

>&qu>"I've completed a rudimentary version of the potion and I'm beginning
animal experiments. It's obviously going to have to be refined. The dosages of
the ingredients need to be adjusted, but we're getting very close to completing
it." He paused.
"How is she?"
"She's doing all right, Severus. She's working entirely too hard and I
worry that she's not getting enough sleep. I can't get her to slow down, which
comes as no surprise. She's very anxious to complete the potion so that we can
confront Voldemort. It's the only thing that's keeping her going. That and
you."
"Don't be a sentimental oldl, Al, Albus," Severus snapped.
"I'm sure she's fine."
Albus was in no mood to placate him. "She's not fine! She misses
you terribly. Denying that isn't going to make things any easier. The truth is
always best," he added.
There was a few seconds of silence before Severus softly retorted.
"Tell her . . . tell her that I miss her and that it's almost over. My
seclusion won't last much longer."
"I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that. Good night Severus, I'll talk
to you tomorrow." He closed the book and put it on his desk.
Sipping his tea, Albus peered at a corner in the room. There was no hiding
the shimmer of an invisibility cloak, he'd haars ars of practice at spotting
them while Harry Potter had been a student. Amused, he knew exactly who was
hiding in his office.
"If you wanted to meet with your Uncle Severus, all you needed to do
was ask," he said to himself. Years of being a spy had taught Draco to
do things with stealth, rather than taking the direct approach. Albus fought
the grin that threatened to erupt and making a big show of going to bed, he
allowed Draco to put his plan in motion.
It appeared that Draco Malfoy was going to make a late night visit to his uncle.

To be continued . . .
- 14
- 15
- 16
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