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The Nothing I've Become (Areas of Expertise II)	By : SickPuppy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 18628 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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- 16
Mixed up - I was going to tell you how long you're going to have to wait before H does remember, but decided it'd just bum you out!

Thanks to all my reviewers!

Chapter Fourteen - Without Your Touch

Since losing his wand, and the resultant scolding from Hermione, Harry had been restricted to staying in the Room whilst she went out and caused chaos at Hogwarts. So far, it had been a week of waiting around for her to come back and tell him what she had done (always something inventive), and he was BORED.

He mooched around their living area, trying to find something to do, but his mind wouldn't focus on anything. Idly he wandered over to the pile of books Hermione had open on 'her' desk (Harry's was empty of anything remotely school work related!) and skimmed them. He frowned, not understanding what he was reading:

'The Secrets of the Bonding Ceremony is an excellent book for learning how to Bond, but is at best mistaken, and at worst dangerously wrong, about the effects of a failed Bond. Rowling, the author of Secrets relied almost entirely on conversations with failed Bonders for her discussions of the effects. And, as noted in her book, an outcome can be madness. This author, therefore, questions how much reliance can be placed on the supposed consequences she relates. Extensive research undertaken for this book indicates that failing to fulfil a Bonding Ceremony can have a wide range of effects. These will be dealt with in forthcoming chapters, as a discussion of reasons why a Bond fails is needed at this point.'

Harry stopped reading, blowing out a deep breath. No doubt it was important, but Merlin it was boring! How did Hermione wade through this stuff without falling into a coma? He flipped the book so that the cover came into view: 'The Consequences of Failure: An Exploration of the TRUE Results of Failed Magical Experiments'

Harry rolled his eyes, determined never to read the book again. Although, for some reason, the other book mentioned, 'The Secrets of the Bonding Ceremony', struck a chord. Why?

He was idly musing on that question when he heard Hermione re-enter the Room. She walked into the living space looking pleased, although that soon faded when she spotted what Harry was staring at.

'How'd it go?' he asked just as she opened her own mouth to speak.

Lost for a moment, she couldn't place what he was referring to, but then she grinned, answering him. 'Well. I used up the last of the fireworks. They're hidden in the Great Hall, and I've bewitched them to go off when someone says the word 'Slytherin', so that should be fun, especially as the teachers are only allowed to give House Points to Slytherin.' She gave a mischievous smile. 'You'll never guess where I hid them.'

Harry joined her in a wicked grin. 'Where?'

'Under Snape's chair.'

Unable to hold back her giggles, Hermione broke out laughing. She was quickly followed by Harry, who clung to the desk top for support as tears rolled down his cheeks at the thought of Se- Snape sitting on a load of Weasley fireworks that kept going off when Slytherins were mentioned.

Hermione calmed down before her friend. 'I don't know where your wand is.' She said sadly. 'I did look. Maybe Snape's got it in his office?'

Harry looked angry at the thought. 'I'll get it back, wherever it is.' He turned his attention back to the books. 'What's all this for?'

Hermione shrugged, although her cheeks went rather red. 'Private research,' she answered. 'I've been thinking about becoming a medi-witch, so have been doing some reading about things that could go wrong.'

'Oh, right. So that explains why I know that book, I must've seen you reading it some time.'

Hermione went very still. 'What book?' she asked softly.

' 'The Secrets of the Bonding Ceremony'. It does sound fascinating.' Harry replied, sarcastically.

'Actually, it's a very interesting book, but sadly, flawed.' The girl responded before turning away, muttering to herself under her breath. 'I wish I'd known that earlier.'

***

The Marauders' Map lay open on the Headmaster's desk, and Snape sat staring down at it, the usual glass of Fire Whisky in his hand. He was hoping to see a dot labelled 'Harry Potter' appear. He was focusing on the fifth floor, at where he knew the Room of Requirement must be, but nothing. He had seen, of course, the dot labelled 'Hermione Granger' and had been excited at the idea of the Gryffindors being hidden in the castle, but there had been no sight of Harry.

Surely, he thought, sipping his drink, Harry can come out sometimes?

He remembered the previous year, with Harry trapped in that very space for so long. He wondered at the boy not breaking out and going mad with boredom...

But then, maybe he is. Maybe Granger has to deal with temper tantrums every day. The idea consoled him somewhat. Rows with Harry had been generally rather nasty. He was glad that someone else was having to deal with them.

He thought back to the arguments they had had about Harry being allowed outside - the danger his condition presented. He remembered how happy Harry had been when he had been allowed out for the first time in what had felt like forever. Harry had been so excited, sitting under a tree, the bump that was Sapphire hidden under a spell, sitting beside Snape who, if anyone was looking, was glaring and seemed annoyed, but, once alone, had dropped his normal expression and let Harry know he was glad to be with him.

Suddenly the thought of staying inside for one more second was abhorrent to him. He leapt up and left the study. Although, even in his haste, he ensured it was closed and warded properly before he left. Too many odd things (courtesy, he was sure, of Potter and Granger) were happening in the castle, and he had no desire to come back and find the room trashed.

His long legs quickly covered the distance to the front door, and then he was outside, breathing clean air. He strode purposely to the lake and stood looking across its choppy waters. Tears stung his eyes as he gazed over the black expanse. There was something in the lake that only he knew of, something that one day he wanted to share with Harry; but, his next meeting with the boy would likely lead to his death, then no one would know what was concealed in the waters.

Alone, he pulled Harry's wand free from his robes and stroked it ' something he had taken to doing a lot since discovering the length of wood. When the idea of the battle ahead and his role at the school became too much, Snape would touch the warm rounded stick, convince himself he could smell Harry. Close his eyes and let his sensitive fingers search pointlessly for some flaw in the polished surface. Dream he was next to Harry, being trusted with this key part of any witch or wizard's equipment.

A fool's dream. He told himself sternly, opening his eyes and seeing dark storm clouds nearing. He needed to get inside, not just to avoid the approaching rain, but because, no doubt, the Dark Lord would summon him soon for an update. Since taking over at the school, no more than five days had passed without him having to speak to his master. Today was the fourth since he had last reported, and he was sure, by the curling knot of apprehension in his belly, that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would call him today.

It was as he turned his back on the lake that the burning pain in his arm told him he had been right ' his master wanted him. Hoping, almost desperately, that the Dark Lord wished information only ' he was so tired of giving blow jobs to the snake eyes git ' he hurried to his study, to the fire there that would enable him to floo near the hidden location where the Dark lord plotted.
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The Nothing I've Become (Areas of Expertise II)