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Lessons and Obsessions	By : LennaNightrunner Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 85098 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN: COMPRESSION

Hermione felt so foolish. She hadn�t been afraid of the dark
since she was a little girl, but the manor was huge and ancient; full of
strange creaking. It seemed as if some of the portraits were watching her when
she wasn�t looking, and she just couldn�t sleep no matter how hard she tried.

It would be a bad idea. A very bad idea to run to Malfoy over something like this. Honestly,
there was nothing to be frightened of in this house except maybe Narcissa
Malfoy. All right, that wasn�t entirely true. The place could be filled with
dark objects the Ministry and the Order hadn�t found. No, no, she was being
ridiculous. It wasn�t as if some cursed object hidden in the basement was going
to crawl up the stairs and�

There was nothing for it. Her irrational fears winning out
at last, Hermione got up as quickly as she could and abandoned the room,
padding quietly down the deserted hallway toward Malfoy�s room. She opened the
door and stepped inside, giving her eyes a moment to adjust, for it was even darker
in his room than in hers or the hallway.

Thinking he must be sleeping, she slowly crept over to the
bed. Her heart was beating frantically. Now that she was here, Malfoy seemed
just as frightening as any imagined dark creature or object, and she wasn�t
quite certain that she wanted to wake him after all. Still, her fear of this
familiar person was easier to handle than that of the unknown horrors Malfoy
Manor might hold. Would he be angry with her if she crawled in with him like a
little girl running to her parents after a nightmare?

�Well? You must be cold. Come on, then.�

The familiar and slightly smug drawl of Malfoy�s voice made
Hermione jump, but she stifled her gasp of surprise. He sounded as if he had
been wide awake for hours, and was unsurprised that she was there. She
hesitated for a moment, unsure of what she might be getting herself into. However,
it was very cold now that she was out of bed, and her nightgown was too thin to
provide much insulation.

Too cold. She needed to either accept his invitation or go
back to her own bed. Part of her wondered with irritation why a wizarding
family couldn�t keep its house from being drafty. But as she heard Malfoy shift
to the side to make room for her, his scent wafted towards her and made up her
mind. Moving to the side of the bed opposite him, she drew the covers back and
crawled in. They were both silent for a few moments after she had made herself
comfortable.

�Sorry,� Hermione whispered, and feebly tried to explain, �your
house is so big and I� I couldn�t sleep.�

�I�m beginning to think this whole Gryffindor bravery thing
is a myth,� scoffed Malfoy as he turned to face her in the bed. Hermione could
barely see him by what little light there was in the room.

�I�m still not used to old magical houses,� Hermione replied
through chattering teeth, shivering because she hadn�t warmed up yet. �The
Burrow�Ron�s house, I mean�was bad enough, and the Order�s headquarters had
something dreadful around every corner.�

Malfoy growled in reaction and Hermione winced reflexively.
�Don�t talk about him,� he ordered, but softened his tone a bit, �and come
here, you�re shivering.�

There was silence for a moment as those last two words
brought back echoes of another night in another bed. I don�t care�

Hermione felt foolish for having mentioned Ron, but was
almost pleased by Malfoy�s apparent possessiveness. As much as she asserted
that she didn�t belong to anyone, it was somehow empowering when his jealousy
showed. She obeyed him quite willingly, moving closer beneath the warm sheets
and duvet. To her surprise, he put an arm around her and pulled her to his
chest. It was bare. He was very warm and his smell was familiar and comforting
as always. After a few moments she was no longer cold nor frightened.

�Thank you,� she said softly against his chest, feeling more
at home there than she had while visiting her parents. That was a very bad
sign.

�This wasn�t what I had in mind when I pictured you sharing
my bed,� Malfoy said as he rubbed Hermione�s back roughly to make sure she was
warming up.

Hermione frowned guiltily, unfazed by his innuendo. �I�m
sorry, I was just frightened. I can go if you like.�

Draco noted the hint of reluctance in her voice, and
restrained her as she made a move to get out of the bed. �Stay.�

That one word drew her back towards him and she suppressed a
smile as she relaxed next to him again. Hermione could now discern shapes along
the walls of the room through the darkness. �How do you sleep with all of those
eerie portraits moving around and looking at you?�

Malfoy shrugged and followed her gaze. �They�ve never not
been there, so it doesn�t seem strange to me.�

�I don�t think I�ll ever really get used to pictures
moving.�

Draco tried to envision still pictures for a moment,
humoring Granger in his sleepy, contented state. She was warm now, and she
smelled good. It was strange to have her in his home, in his bed with him. It
was hard to care much about what a mess he�d made of everything by bringing her
here. Maybe with no one around to catch them she might even relax a bit.

He hesitated, then said, �Sometimes I forget you�re a
mud�that you�re muggle-born.�

Hermione stiffened defensively, though she did appreciate
that he�d avoided calling her a mudblood. A few months�maybe even a few
weeks�ago, he would�ve had no qualms about using that term. �Why? Because I�m
good at magic?� Her voice betrayed a hint of anger.

�Partially, I suppose,� Draco answered, unperturbed by her
irritation. �But also because you just seem so used to magic. It takes most
muggle-borns a lot longer to fit in.�

�I just read a lot�� Hermione blushed slightly in the
darkness at the strange compliment she�d just been given. �I think magic is
fascinating. Much more interesting than learning things like Maths and French,
anyway�� She trailed off, trying to curb her academic excitement.

�Maths?� Draco asked with genuine curiosity. He�d never been
very interested in the muggle way of doing things, and yet lately he�d found
himself increasingly curious about how Granger had lived before entering the wizarding
world. He had a hard time picturing her as anyone but the witch who was top in
every type of magic she tried. The witch who had inspired his academic envy at
times. He�d never thought it fair that a muggle-born could be so good at magic.

�It�s sort of like Arithmancy,� Hermione tried to explain,
�but without magic.�

Draco groaned. Since he�d never even considered taking Muggle
Studies, and he could sleep through Divination if he was sneaky enough (and he
was), Arithmancy had always been his least favorite subject. �That sounds
wickedly dull.�

Hermione giggled in spite of herself. �It is rather
boring, now you mention it.�

�Are you certain you weren�t born into a wizarding family
and then adopted by muggles after some tragedy befell your parents like Potter
was?� Draco was teasing, though he knew there was a good chance Granger would
probably take him seriously.

Hermione glared over at Malfoy in the dark, but answered him
firmly. �I�m certain. I look just like my parents. Plus our genetic traits
match up and I�m sure a DNA test would��

She broke off mid-sentence because Malfoy was chuckling
lowly at her while she talked.

�What in Slytherin�s name are you on about, Granger?� Draco
couldn�t help but laugh at her fervor. It sounded as if she were speaking a
different language, and she seemed to have no idea that he�d really just been
baiting her.

Hermione huffed in exasperation. She didn�t like being
laughed at, especially by the boy who had made it his business to ridicule her
up until very recently. �It�s just Genetics. It�s all about why people look
like their parents and how different species of animals are related and so on��

She trailed off as Malfoy looked at her blankly,
uncomprehending.

�It sounds ridiculous! Why bother with all of that?� Draco scoffed.
In his mind, the business of parentage and lineage was very simple. �Either
you�ve got Blood, or you don�t.�

Hermione sighed, giving up trying to explain and forcing
herself not to respond to his Pureblood-minded comments. He couldn�t help the
way he�d been raised to think. What use did the magical world have for
something like Genetics? It sounded a bit strange even to herself now. But she
was glad they�d had this conversation. It was one of those rare times when it
felt like they were friends as well as whatever else they were (enemies,
lovers, two people in a huge mess). She felt comfortable around him in times
like this. Playful. She looked over at Malfoy and gave him a wicked smile.

�I�ll show you what�s ridiculous.� Without warning, Hermione
pounced over to Malfoy�s side of the bed and began tickling his sides
mercilessly. Perhaps she could break down that aristocratic reserve of his just
for a moment. What was the worst that could happen?

Caught off guard by Granger�s sudden action, Draco began to
laugh uncontrollably, a sound not often heard from him. The girl�s dainty
fingers were attacking the sensitive skin of his stomach and he didn�t want to
hurt her by fighting back too roughly. As it was he was certain he would hit or
kick her in the midst of all his flailing. �Granger�Stop! Bloody hell�Agh!�

The two thrashed about on the bed, messing up the blankets
and sending pillows flying in every direction. Low chuckles and their
octave-higher counterparts mingled in the air: a symphony of mirthful agony. Finally,
Draco was able to grab hold first of Granger�s right wrist, then her left, and
push her back down on the bed on her back with her wrists pinned over her head.
He stared down at her for a moment in silence while they both caught their
breaths. He was straddling her hips, and was suddenly keenly aware of the fact
that he hadn�t shagged her in a very long week.

Granger licked her lips, which were dry from her heavy
breathing and as flushed as the rest of her face. She probably had no idea how
tempting she looked, how vulnerable she was right now, unable to move,
completely at his mercy. Draco smirked inwardly.

But before he could plot all of the ways they could make up
for their week apart, she surprised him yet again. Without saying a word, she
leaned her face up and kissed him. Granger had never initiated a kiss between
them before, not in all that time they�d dallied. It seemed to Draco as if he�d
kissed her hundreds of times. But he hadn�t realized until that moment that
she�d never kissed him. It felt very strange. The kiss was soft and gentle,
almost loving. It felt fragile, as if something bad would happen if Draco tried
to turn it into one of the rough, urgent kisses he preferred. He felt that
somehow he would crush her if he was too firm. He returned the kiss carefully,
looking down at her with confusion in his eyes.�
His grip on her wrists loosened unconsciously.

After a moment, Granger broke the kiss and wrapped her arms
around Draco�s back, pulling him down into an embrace. Draco tolerated it for a
moment, then pushed her away and rolled off of her and back over to his side of
the bed.

�I�m not your bloody teddy bear, Granger,� he said more
coldly than he meant to.

Hermione shrunk back from Malfoy, aware that she�d gone too
far. He would�ve tolerated the kiss, even enjoyed it, but the hug was so devoid
of sexuality that she should�ve known it would irritate him. They only embraced
when they had sex, mainly because their bodies were so close already that it
was more comfortable that way. She was being stupid. She was treating Malfoy
like he was her boyfriend, but he clearly wasn�t. That would require him to at
least like her, if not love her.

And though Malfoy almost certainly loved his family and had
perhaps even loved other witches, it didn�t seem very likely that he could love
Hermione. Even if he was attracted to her, there was still so much about her
that went against the things he liked, valued, and believed in. Just because he
was no longer a Death Eater didn�t mean he was going to turn around and fall
head-over-heels for a muggle-born witch who happened to be the best friend of
Harry Potter. And how could a muggle-born witch ever love a wizard who had
persecuted her for years, who was a former Death Eater and descended from
muggle-haters?

It was impossible, and yet it was so. She�d only been in his
house for less than a day and already Hermione was being forced to face the
inevitable conclusion that she might be falling in love with Draco Malfoy. If
she was honest with herself, she had begun to suspect it weeks ago. It was far
from rational, and it was sure to be unrequited, but she couldn�t help it. She
couldn�t let him touch her, kiss her, make love (for lack of a better word) to
her all those times without feeling anything. As much as she wished that she could.
They�d spent so much time together, and she�d had a chance to have real
conversations with him. She felt she was beginning to understand him a bit.
After all they�d been through, she should at least be able to consider him a
friend if nothing else. If she could have that, would she be satisfied?

Draco sighed, struggling with inner conflict. Granger had
turned away from him and curled up on her side of the bed, giving him space.
He�d been irritated with her for hanging on him like that, but he hadn�t meant
to be cruel. It was strange to be kissed and touched by her like that. If she
didn�t want him to respond sexually, he wasn�t sure how he ought to respond. She
was trying so desperately to get an ounce of affection out of him, he could tell.
He didn�t want her to be angry with him, or sad. He just wanted things to be
like they always were, but something had changed.

Had she fallen in love with him? Did she think that his
invitation to stay with him over the holiday was a sign of affection or
commitment? If commitment meant not being involved with anyone else, then he�d
been doing well. He hadn�t so much as thought of another witch since a couple
of weeks after he�d started seeing Granger. As far as affection went, he
certainly liked her. She was funny, even if she didn�t always mean to be. And
intelligent, of course. She was beautiful and sexy and there was something
about her that kept him coming back� That could be affection, Draco supposed.
But love? That was a word Draco used very seldom.

�I�m� sorry.� Draco struggled with the words, but forced
them out. Granger didn�t move or speak, still turned away from him. If she knew
him well at all, she�d be properly shocked by hearing these words escape his
lips. �I didn�t mean it that way. I�m just� not used to things like that.�

Hermione got over her initial reaction to hearing Malfoy apologize
and slowly turned back over to face him, looking at him through the darkness
but not speaking.

Draco sighed again, trying to end this as tactfully as he
could. �Anyway, we�ve been up long enough, don�t you think? Come on,
Gr�Hermione, let�s get some sleep.�

Hermione smiled slightly and nodded, yawning and making
herself comfortable again. It was a small sign of good will, using her name,
but it was a sign nonetheless.

�Goodnight� Draco,� she whispered.

�Goodnight.� Draco watched quietly as Hermione closed her
eyes. After a few moments, her breathing slowed, and Draco could tell that she�d
fallen asleep.

What did she want from him? Affection? Commitment? Love�

The word echoed through Draco�s consciousness with an
imposing weight. Sure, he knew what love was. He loved his parents. He wanted
them to be safe and happy, even when he knew that was sometimes impossible. He
cared about what happened to them. He wanted to be around them, for the most
part.

Didn�t he feel those things for Granger? Sure, and more. It
was all rooted in and complicated by the intense compulsion to shag her brains
out that arose every time she came into view. Certainly that desire had come
first. He�d wanted her so badly, and he still did. She was a lover, that much
was a fact. And a friend, perhaps. He liked talking to her. They were friends,
then. Why not? Friends who happened not to be able to keep their hands off one
another. No, friends didn�t have that kind of passion.

They certainly had passion. But Draco wasn�t fool enough to
think that passion was the same as love. He was very familiar with passion; he�d
shared it with many witches over the past few years, and he hadn�t loved any of
them. Love hadn�t even crossed his mind with them.

Granger had offered him her passion from the start. Then, slowly,
her friendship. And now there was something else being offered. He could see it
when she looked at him in a way that didn�t signify that she was imagining him
naked. He�d felt it in her kiss tonight, and in the embrace that he�d rejected.

She was offering him love. And he had no idea what to do
about it. He wanted things to keep going on just as they had been going. But a
witch like Granger� like Hermione.
She wouldn�t keep messing about with him forever if he didn�t offer anything in
return. And she shouldn�t.

So he was proper fucked.

*****

A/N: Hope you all had a wonderful holiday season! As you can
see, I�ve been a little preoccupied with Christmas, etc, but I�m still trying
to keep up. Thanks for your patience. There�s just so much to do! Thanks for
all the wonderful comments and moral support. Special thanks to my beta,
Twist_Shimmy, for her quick and insightful editing that allowed me to get this
posted in a relatively timely manner. I can hardly believe that this is chapter
fifteen!

goddessaishia�Thanks! Hope you weren�t disappointed.

linmo�Oh, I don�t know. Angst always seems to rear its ugly
head, doesn�t it? Angst is what makes life interesting. Though I promise I only
use angst when I feel it is necessary to plot and character development. Hope
you enjoyed the update!

Dreamweaver�Thanks for the congrats! It was definitely a
feat. Yeah, I was pretty boggled as to what the hell was going on in Draco�s head,
too, hence all the introspection in this chapter. I had to get in there and
figure out what was going on! I think maybe he�s a little clearer about the
situation now. Poor guy. Doesn�t know what he wants, or how to get it, so he
just keeps going. Oh yes, we good girls will do a lot for the bad boy! I think
Hermione can hold her own, though.

kazfeist�Yeah, he�s totally screwed. Poor guy. I think he�s
getting wise to it, though. He�s making a big mess! I never expected he�d ask
her to stay at the Manor either, but he just sort of did it. He doesn�t usually
ask my permission.

Liz�Thanks! That�s what I�m going for. Lots of confusion and
paradoxes because that�s what these types of situations tend to create. I enjoy
complex characters. Glad you�re liking it!

Katherine�Wow, that is incredibly high praise. Thanks so
much! Now I�m all paranoid that I�m going to let you down. Well, I�ll try my
best to keep it being enjoyable! Hope you had a happy holiday season as well!

PotterEntourage�Wow, thanks! Yeah, no kidding: I�d love to
know what he wrote, too. Maybe I�ll write it up later as a fun exercise, or
introduce it in a later chapter as a reflection by Narcissa. That�s a really
good idea! I�ll have to remember that :D. Totally giving you credit if I do end
up doing that. And yeah, Draco is such a tease. How dare he?

passionlotus420�I think he�s working on opening up. I hope
this chapter is evidence of that. I can�t promise no angst, because life is
full of angst, and these two are creating quite a mess for themselves, and I
have to be true to how I think the characters would act. But I have no
intention of making the story serious or melodramatic. I like the humor between
these two even as very serious things happen and I hope that will continue.

Ella�Thanks! Yeah, Hermione�s got some work to do in the
�taking charge� department. I think she�s becoming more sure of herself, but it
takes a lot to be courageous in the face of Draco Malfoy, especially when he�s
been bullying you for years. There�s a lot of psychological stuff that goes on
there. But I think she�s getting better and acting more like the strong
Gryffindor genius we know and love so well.

Kyra�Haha, thanks! I�m glad you like it and thanks for
reading!

xxbebexx�Lol thanks I�m working on it.
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Lessons and Obsessions