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Never Mine	By : RynStar15 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 21248 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters therein and do not make any money or intend any copyright infringement by placing them here.

Chapter List
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Neville took my hand and led me back into the battle which was in an uproar; spells flashing through the hall, screaming, crashes, utter chaos. I had no idea where Harry and Draco were and my pounding head was making it hard to think.
Someone yelled my name and I turned to look but was shoved out of the way of a spell by Neville who took up a duel with Goyle Senior whose mask had fallen off. I looked back toward where the voice had come from and saw Ginny on the ground, fighting back two Death Eaters at once. I shot off Stunners at them while ducking more spells. I hit one who fell into the other and Ginny was able to slash him down and tie them up. I reached down to pull her to her feet as Neville finally made his way to us.
"Where did they go?" I asked as he fended off a way-ward curse.
"Up the stairs, come on!"
We turned into the sea of battle and fought.
…
One month earlier…
I left the Room of Requirement when my legs could hold me, sneaking through the corridors, not because I wanted to escape detention, but because I couldn't bear the thought of running into anyone, especially McGonagall. She had gone to so much trouble for my benefit and it had all gone disastrously wrong.
By the time I reached the common room it was nearly empty; Ron and Harry had Pumpkin Pasties on long sticks and were toasting them in the fireplace, laughing about something Dean had said who waved goodnight to me on his way up to the dormitory. A couple of fifth year girls were working on O.W.L practice tests and a group of third year boys who were notorious for sneaking in Fred and George's creations scuttled away the second I walked in. I took a seat next to Ron on the couch who was still chuckling merrily. Harry glanced up at a clock and handed me his Pumpkin Pasty.
"You're rather early. I thought you had patrol until midnight?"
I looked at the clock as well and was surprised to see it was only eleven. It had taken less than two hours for me to lose everything, for no there was no chance of Draco ever telling me what he was up to anymore. The best we could do now was to figure it out on our own, the worst…I didn't even want to think about.
"What's up?" Harry asked, skewering another Pasty. When I continued to tear needlessly at my pastry and when I said nothing he and Ron caught eyes. "Do we need to talk in private?"
I nodded and to my horror Ron leaned over the couch and yelled, "Oi! You two! Scamper!"
"Ron!" I cried indignantly as the girls scrambled to grab their things and ran out looking harassed.
"What?" he shrugged. "You said we needed to talk in private."
Harry cast a quick Silencing Spell and Intruder Detection around the room so we wouldn't be interrupted. "Alright, that's as good as we're getting in this place. Now, are you finally going to tell us why you've been acting so strange lately?"
I nodded, putting the uneaten dessert on the coffee table and wiping my hands on my robes. What more did I have to lose? Draco hated me, the Order would never forgive me for messing up our best chance to find out why Voldemort was still standing, and Ginny had already shunned me. I didn't have much hope of them being understanding, but I couldn't stand to lie anymore.
"I'm in love with Malfoy."
I hadn't exactly meant to put it so audaciously-I had intended to explain everything and sort of lead into it-but once it spilled out I knew there was no other way around it.
Their reactions were as predicted; Ron flew completely off the handle, jumping up and rounding on me, screaming until his face turned magenta and Harry just looked at me as if I'd broken his broom.
"-you could even see in that scumbag traitor! It's disgusting! Are you fucking mental?" Ron roared to the back of my head as I kept my gaze to my knees in shame. I didn't attempt to stop him; I knew I deserved every insult and more. "You've got to be kidding! You are, aren't you?" He turned to Harry. "She's messing with us, isn't she?"
I lifted my head and Harry caught my eye. I simply looked at him, I didn't even have the strength to plead with him to understand. There was nothing I could say: I had betrayed everyone, put everyone's lives in jeopardy, lied to my best friends. I had never been so disgusted with myself.
Slowly, Harry shook his head. "No, Ron. She's not."
And of course, this sent Ron on another tirade. I hung my head once more, hot tears welling up, hugging myself as if it might be enough to keep my emotions from boiling over.
"Ron, that's enough," Harry said, his voice low, a tone we both knew. Ron went quiet and slumped in an armchair as far from me as he could get as if worried he might catch a disease. His anger was nothing compared to the disappointment I could hear in Harry's voice.
"Why?" was all he asked.
"I don't have an answer to that," I whispered. "I never meant for this to happen."
"What did you expect was going to happen? You start fucking the guy and decide you're in love with him because-"
"Ron! Shut the hell up!" Harry yelled. I looked up finally, tears staining my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry that I hurt you," I breathed, looking between them: Ron, whose arms were crossed, his face twisted in disgust, and Harry who simply looked dejected. Here were the two people who meant more to me than my own life and I had let them down. I would never forgive myself for losing them. "You must know that I would never do anything to hurt you. It wasn't Draco's fault-"
Ron snorted and Harry glared at him until he silenced, then nodded at me to continue.
"H-he never tried to get me into bed, he didn't even try to-to woo me or anything, it's me who...and he doesn't love me back, we're not together," I admitted, my broken heart twisting. "It just sort of…happened. Nothing will ever come of it, but I couldn't keep this from you anymore."
I took a shuddering breath, looking to the tall windows beyond them so I didn't have to see the hurt in their eyes. "I wanted you two to be the first to know that I failed. He hates me; he won't tell me what he knows. You'll have to find another way. I'm sorry."
I left without a backward glance, escaping into my room and throwing myself onto my bed where I lay until morning, trying to remember when I had lost myself so thoroughly.
…
Ron refused to look at me. Ginny glared at me. Harry would preoccupy himself with anything that was nearby, and poor Neville would glance between us all bewildered. Well, that was anytime I allowed myself to be in their presence. I spent most of my free time in the library or in my dormitory, keeping my promise to McGonagall and throwing myself back into my studies as hard as I threw myself into more research about Horcruxes and Tom Riddle. I had given up on Dark Curses, they no longer mattered. Draco had left the bag of potions in the Room of Requirement so he would have to suffer on his own from now on.
I had no idea what was going on with the Order as the letters Ron received from Mrs. Weasley no longer reached my ears, but I kept my eye on the Prophet and the Quibbler for any information I could string together about what was happening outside the walls of Hogwarts.
I had already explained to McGonagall about my failure and she had dismissed me tight lipped and hadn't said a word about it since. Lupin would frown at Ron, Harry, and me during classes and had twice tried to catch me on my way out but I simply feigned ignorance and hurried to my next class.
After a heart-wrenching week of being shunned, I spent the following weekend shut up in my dormitory, not able to stand one more look of loathing. After I missed dinner on Saturday, Dobby appeared with a tray and informed me that Mr. Harry Potter told him he wasn't allowed to tell me who sent it up. I thanked the elf kindly and looked at the packed tray which seemed to have a bit of everything from dinner that evening, and my heart warmed. Harry had sent this? Did that mean he forgave me? I swiped a tear from my cheek and nibbled on the food as I worked through the night on a timeline of Tom Riddle's life.
I woke Sunday morning to another tray, my face plastered to a sheaf of parchment, a weak January sun filtering through the window. Another tray arrived for lunch and another for dinner when I failed to go down to the Great Hall, my attention wholly set on my research, and by the time I arrived to my first class on Monday, my mind was set. If we were going to find anything about the possible last Horcrux, Malfoy was going to have to tell us. There was nothing else I could come up with that could be another Horcrux: there were no other artifacts from Gryffindor, no place Voldemort had gone to we didn't already know about, nor had any evidence to point to. At this point, the damn Horcrux could be his old-and-now useless hair comb without us being any the wiser.
Or it might not even exist at all.
Indeed, other than the fact that Voldemort hadn't died when Harry had hit him with the Killing Curse, there was no evidence at all that there was another Horcrux. But whatever was going on, Malfoy knew. And mad at me or not, it was time for him to fess up.
I sat by myself for lunch on Monday, eating as quickly as possible and heading for the library where dirty looks were at a minimum. I was a foot into my Ancient Rune's essay when someone sat down beside me. Wearily, I looked up and was more than a little surprised to see Harry sitting next to me.
"Can we talk?" he asked, his voice low so as not to anger Madam Pince whose vulture-like nose was red and dripping from a cold she had picked up and blamed the students for.
"Oh!" I said taken aback. "Of course. Er-"
"Let's go for a walk," he suggested, and thoughtfully helped me pack my bag, slinging the heavy satchel onto his own shoulder. I followed him out onto the grounds, twisting my hands nervously, and we made our way around the lake silently. The grounds were quiet; any upper-years with an off period had evidently decided it was best spent indoors. The wind whipped at my hair and my teeth chattered, but I waited patiently for Harry to begin.
"Look, Hermione," he eventually muttered, stopping and gazing out over the lake. "I'm not mad at you for, well, feeling for Malfoy the way you do."
"You're-you're not?" I stuttered, my heart peeking out from the dark place it had taken residence, hoping…
"I understand as well as anyone that we don't exactly choose who to love," he smiled. "My best mate's younger sister probably wasn't the most intelligent choice. But it didn't matter in the end because…I loved her. I do love her. I thought Ron would think it the ultimate betrayal, but I was lucky. The worst of it is, though…is that even if he hadn't gone along with it, I still would have found a way. Because Ginny…there's no one else, you know? She's just…it. It would have torn me apart if Ron had hated me for it, but nothing could make me stop loving her."
Tears glistened in my eyes as I listened. I had never really thought about Ron not being okay with Harry and Ginny being together. I had always thought we'd all known it would happen eventually. But it made sense; Harry and Ron were best friends, Ron had every right to be mad at Harry for pursuing his sister.
Could Harry really understand what it was like to love someone you had no right to? I looked up at him and he gave me a weak sort of half-smile.
"I wouldn't have chosen him for you. I can't help it; you're the best person I know. You deserve way better than Malfoy. But…well, I don't figure I know him as well as I thought I did. Because I know you, Hermione, and I know that you could never love someone who was truly bad. Maybe-maybe we were all wrong about him," he sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets, gazing out over the frozen lake. "I mean, it wouldn't be the first time you were right about something, would it?"
I laughed softly, that flickering hope that he would forgive me growing. "Harry-"
"Hermione, don't. Don't tell me you're sorry or ask me to forgive you. Because there's nothing to forgive. The only one here who should be seeking forgiveness is me. I hope one day you'll forgive me and maybe, eventually, Ron, for not supporting you like we should have from the first." He turned to me, his eyes imploring at my small gasp. He reached out and took my gloved hand.
"Hermione, you've always stood by me, no matter what. Every second of the way, even when I cast you aside or didn't listen to you, you were there. You've always known me better than I knew myself and always, always, you did what was right. Everything you've done for me, every sacrifice…I remember them. I am truly the luckiest bloke in the world to have you by my side, and I hate myself for ever doubting you. I hate myself for not being there for you when you needed me the most."
I looked up into his brilliant green eyes, brimming with emotion and he gave me a small smile. "But I'm here now."
He held out his arms and I fell into them on a sob, hugging him with a relief I could scarcely describe. He held me tightly for several minutes before dragging me down to a fallen log which he pressed me onto. On his insistence, I spilled everything that had happened between Draco and me, sparing him the most intimate details of course, and we sat by the lake together for hours watching the sun sink lower in the sky while I talked and talked about my pain and anger and fear. Our conversation flowed from mine and Malfoy's admittedly stilted relationship and into what he could know.
"Harry, I really think he's our only chance," I admitted, looking up at him. "He knows something we don't."
Harry chewed this over until someone called to us and we looked up to see Hagrid plowing through the snow towards us.
"Yeh two outta yer minds?" he bellowed. "It's below freezin' out here! Now get on up to the school and get warm before yeh both catch yer death!"
Our conversation about Malfoy was halted as the half-giant told us about his classes and when he asked our opinion about ordering some more Blast-Ended-Skrewts we screamed "NO!" and he laughed uproariously.
"I'm on'y jokin'!" he chuckled. "But yeh shoulda seen yer faces!"
We went to dinner together and Harry took my hand and led me to where Ron and Ginny sat. Ginny gave me a small smile and pushed a bowl of mashed potatoes towards me but Ron kept silent, staring at his plate. Dinner was a very uncomfortable affair but my heart was lighter than it had been in days. With Harry by my side I knew the others would eventually come around and perhaps, in time, my broken heart would heal enough to live without Malfoy.
…
Harry spent the week with me in the Room of Requirement, pouring endlessly over tomes about Horcruxes between homework and his Quidditch practice and my patrol duties and by Friday night we could conclude nothing more; it was time to go to Malfoy.
So, on Saturday morning we headed up to see McGonagall together. Upon entering the office, we instantly knew something was wrong. Professor McGonagall's lips were almost non-existent and Lupin was there, looking more tired and over-worked than usual.
"Miss Granger, impeccable timing. Mr. Malfoy has left this for you and we are hoping it would explain a few things," McGonagall said briskly, striding to me and handing me a rolled piece of parchment, my name written in Draco's tidy scrawl.
"Left this?" I asked, looking between the adults.
"Draco and his wand have gone missing," Lupin sighed and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I suddenly felt light-headed and Harry's hand grasped my arm as if to pull me to a chair but I stayed stubbornly where I was, rooted to the spot, my eyes glued on Lupin. "Molly said he was at dinner last night and went up to bed and he was gone by morning."
"How could he have? Wasn't anyone watching him?" I asked faintly.
"Well, that's the thing," Lupin admitted. "Once he started helping out with the Order no one thought to keep him prisoner any longer. He could have taken his leave quite easily. His wand was in Molly's bedside table, perfectly accessible if he was quiet enough."
"And you don't think someone could have taken him?"
"There was no sign of forced entry, nothing to suggest there was a struggle. Neither Arthur nor Molly heard anything at all and nothing was missing beside the wand. I think it's safe to say he left of his own accord."
The other three occupants in the room watched me closely as terror filled my soul. I looked down at the still-sealed scroll and McGonagall spoke up.
"He left it where his wand was supposed to be. He magicked it to only be opened by you. I understand this must be difficult for you, Miss Granger, but we need to know what it says."
I nodded and had to swallow several times before I was able to force my shaky hand to open the note. It was short and cut into me like a knife.
Hermione,
I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you. The only thing I can offer you now is the comfort of knowing I will regret it until my last breath. You deserve every happiness and I leave knowing I give you the opportunity for it.
I know what the last Horcrux is and the only reason I have yet to destroy it is that I have found out it is much more difficult than I imagined, and not merely because there are limited resources with which to do so, but because you made me not want to. You made me want to live, to find another way, but I know there is none. This will be the last you will ever hear from me for when I destroy it, I destroy myself.
Because the last Horcrux is me.
…
A/N: Sorry so short! Who figured it out?! Let me know if you did and when, I'd be interested to know what gave it away! I dropped some subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints along the way, but I have a feeling some knew from the beginning. Hope you are enjoying, we're getting close to wrapping up, so stay tuned!

RequiredReading: I suppose if the last chapter broke your heart this wasn't much better ;) sorry, I do that....
SickPuppy: You are such a flatterer! Seriously, you keep me going. And yes, I most certainly am an evil writer...

XOXO
RynRstar15
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Never Mine