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Breaking Forwards	By : lastcrazyhorn Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > General Views: 13749 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Not mine. J.K. Rowling's fandom. She's makes money off these stories and I do not. Nor will I ever. Harry Potter is all hers. sniffles But the weird twisted shit? Muahahhaa.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
A/N – Okay, so this chapter is kinda heavy on the emotional side of things. But next chapter, I promise that we'll have some more things happen to help balance out the angst of this one!
Chapter 15 – Side Concerns
The sludge was growing; pushing its way down into the cracks between the stones themselves and traveling out in all directions away from the room of its birth.
Too bad no one had the time or energy to care.
. . .
The week passed very slowly for the denizens of Hogwarts. On one hand, the Daily Prophet did retract its story about Harry becoming the next dark lord, but as Rita Skeeter had predicted, the readers had already made up their minds about him, so nothing changed. If anything, his treatment by his classmates (other than the Slytherins and a handful of others) merely got worse; the students led by the very persuasive Ron Weasley in thinking that he had somehow threatened the paper to get his way.
"Just like a Potter not to take the blame for something," Harry had heard his former mate saying on more than one occasion.
"Ignore him," Draco said one of those times.
"I am," Harry said with a practiced shrug of indifference.
He caught the look that passed between Draco and Blaise but didn't say anything about it. They could worry about him all they liked, but it didn't do away with the problems that he faced every time he stepped out into the corridors.
The physical attacks had largely stopped, but the vitriol laced rumors and whispers behind his back had not; nor had the reactions from the students of the other houses whenever they saw him coming down the hall. The younger students had taken to scuttling away from him quickly, while the older ones looked on with disdain and anger.
He hated it.
. . .
Dennis huddled in one corner of the room—their prison—quietly watching his brother pace back and forth, muttering to himself. Every so often he caught a word or two of what Colin was saying, but it rarely made any sense.
"He said, he said," Colin muttered unintelligibly under his breath as he stalked past Dennis once more. "Said he'd—," Dennis couldn't hear what he said, but he couldn't help but flinching when his brother suddenly broke into hysterical giggles.
"No, we can't—can't go . . . any idea where . . . safe, have to make him understand."
Abruptly Colin stopped his pacing and turned straight towards where Dennis was still curled up. A frightening smile appeared on his older brother's face and Dennis tried to keep his tears from showing in his eyes. He didn't like being afraid of his sibling, of the boy he considered his closest friend, his confidante.
"Dennis," Colin whispered.
"Col'?" Dennis whispered back, hating how squeaky his voice was then.
Colin walked towards him quickly and he unsuccessfully tried to keep from shaking. His brother didn't seem to notice either way though, and Dennis wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or not. On one hand, he didn't want to show him fear, but then again, if his brother didn't notice his fear, then didn't that mean that Colin was capable of doing anything to him?
His brother grabbed his arm and roughly pulled him across the room, dumping him roughly on the bare mattress that was still sitting next the giant wall of hive like exits. Colin had explained to him that only a few would actually get him anywhere; the rest of were simply traps to ensnare their enemies.
"Knowledge is power, yeah little brother?" Colin asked shortly after releasing him.
Dennis nodded timidly.
"Do you know what sodomy is?"
Dennis felt something flinch inside his stomach. He hadn't been expecting such a straightforward question, and certainly not something of that caliber. Not entirely trusting himself to speak, he nodded his response.
"Well what is it?" Colin nearly growled, his eyes flashing in the low light that he kept the room lit with at all times.
"It's—It's when someone g-gets buggered in, in the arse," Dennis whispered hesitantly, his eyes wide as they watched his brother carefully.
"Right in one!" Colin leant to ruffle his hair, but Dennis scurried backwards away from his hand. Colin didn't seem to notice. "You're a smart kid, Den'," his brother said fondly, plopping down on the mattress too, less than an arm's length away.
Dennis shivered again as he took in his brother's crazed eyes and messy hair. He'd give anything for someone to find them right then—even Snape!
"Anyone can get sodomized," Colin continued, still unaware of how frightened he was making his brother. "Even boys," his brother said, dropping his voice into a scratchy whisper.
A crazy impulse overtook Dennis's careful control of himself and he blurted out a question that he was immediately horrified at asking.
"Is that what happened to you, Col'?"
His brother stared back at him, a strange malevolent light appearing in his eyes briefly before disappearing.
"Was I sodomized?" His brother looked past Dennis with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Yes."
Dennis choked and shoved his fist in his mouth to keep his sobs from making sound. Steeling himself for what might happen next, he bravely scooted closer to his brother.
"What happened?" He whispered.
Colin looked up and then without any warning, he tackled Dennis, throwing him on his back roughly.
"Oof!" Dennis huffed as all the air was forcefully pushed out of his lungs. Colin was now sitting on his chest and Dennis could feel his terror begin mounting again.
"He took off my clothes with a spell," Colin whispered, leaning over to speak directly in Dennis's ear. "And then he stuck his finger up my arse. Have you ever put your finger in anyone's arse?"
Dennis shook his head in the negative, far beyond terrified.
No one to help me! No one to help me! A panicked voice kept shouting in his mind.
Colin looked dispassionately at him from atop his chest, idly stroking the side of Dennis's face with the back of his fingers.
"Was it Ron? Did Ron d-do that t-t-to you?" Dennis gasped out suddenly. He felt positive that the lack of oxygen was getting to his brain.
"He raped me, Den'," Colin said, leaning back over him with a sad look.
"No, no!" Dennis cried out, his eyes blurring with tears. Please let it not be true. Not my brother. Please, he begged silently.
Colin looked at him thoughtfully and then silently took off shirt, revealing his slight build to his younger brother.
"Wh—What are you doing, Colin?" Dennis asked in a choked voice.
"There's only one way that I can keep you safe, Dennis," Colin said sadly, bringing his hands down to rest on Dennis's much thinner chest.
No. No. NO!
For once, Dennis's mind and body were the same as his magic reacted for him, flinging Colin across the room with a resounding THUMP as his brother hit the wall. Both boys scrambled to their feet, but Dennis was a hair faster. For a moment, the brothers merely stared at each other, and then suddenly their paralysis broke. Dennis turned around and jumped onto the wall of open-ended pipes, climbing up as fast as he could as Colin ran across the room towards him.
Fear was beating loud in Dennis's ears as he pulled himself up haphazardly, and he could hear Colin only a few rows below him.
"I can save you Dennis! I only want to keep you safe!" His brother growled after him, swiping a hand at him and only narrowly missing.
Dennis shrieked and pulled his foot out of the way, pushing his way inside a dark tube in the process. It was too late to get back out; Colin would have him in a heartbeat if he tried that. Shaking his head, his hands and arms trembling, he crawled down the tube as fast as he could. It was a bit like being on a playground set—but at night, and while being chased by a monster. Sweat was making his hands slippery and he could hear Colin scuttling far too closely behind him.
"Go away!" He screamed out, not stopping in his harried escape.
"I can keep you from getting hurt! You won't have to worry about your virginity ever again!" Were his brother's insane words that floated up to him in their dark tunnel.
"No!" He squeaked, blindly propelling his body forwards into the seemingly unending tunnel. I want Harry Potter. I want to find Harry. Please, I want to find Harry, he was begging silently, his breath coming in sharp hitches as his panicking system tried to keep him going.
He threw himself forwards one last time, just as the slick ground of the tunnel began angling downwards in a steep descent. He couldn't stop himself from sliding, all he could do was to grab his wand and make sure it didn't break as he fell down into a deep hole of apparent nothingness.
. . .
"Harry!"
Harry instinctively reinforced the shields around himself and the other fifth year Slytherins before turning to see who was calling his name. He blinked in surprise at seeing the Weasley twins breaking their way through the slow moving mass of students in the hallway.
"Could be a trap," Draco whispered in his ear.
"Don't take anything from them," Blaise whispered in his other ear.
"Just watch their hands," Harry muttered, his eyes permanently fixed on the faces of the red haired duo coming up to them. Draco and Blaise nodded from where they were flanking him, and he could instinctively feel the others behind him move in closer.
"Harry," the twins greeted him in unison, raising their empty hands up around their heads.
"We're not going—," started Fred. "—to hurt you," George finished. They both wore identical serious expressions, but Harry didn't dare relax his guard around them.
"Forgive me if I don't believe you," he said, doing a very passable imitation of Severus's sneer.
"Ron is an arse," George said—well, now that Harry was looking at him, he wasn't entirely sure that it was George speaking at all. Maybe it really was Fred.
"He made Ginny cry," Fred—or maybe it was George—added; a touch of fire coming to his eyes as the injustice.
"Ginny?" Harry asked, his eyes widening ever so slightly. He knew a lot of people thought they had been together—or should have been together—but his concern was only that of a worried older brother. Ginny was one of the only people who had continued treating him like a human being after Ron had kicked him out of Gryffindor. She still smiled at him in the hallways now, even though he was in Slytherin.
"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Blaise interjected coolly, breaking Harry out of his thoughts.
"You don't," Fred said. "But we can prove it," George added with as much sincerity that Harry had ever heard from him.
"How?" Harry challenged.
"Dose us," they said in unison.
Harry's eyebrows went up.
"You mean?" He prompted, not believing what they were suggesting.
"Veritaserum. We'll take it," the twins looked at them levelly, not a trace of humor evident in either freckled face.
. . .
Several hours later found Draco, Blaise and Harry in Severus's classroom. Moments later, Severus swirled in as well, a dark look on his face that was in sharp contrast with the concerned look in his eyes.
"I won't do this without a wizard's oath from all of you, swearing never to mention this to anyone." He spoke tersely, his eyes on the clock. It was nearly 9, and the twins were due to turn up then. "I don't need to tell you what could happen to all of us if this got out," he warned.
Each of the three boys nodded seriously, and then as a group, they swore on their magic not to reveal a thing.
Finally it was time and soon after they heard two relatively timid knocks coming from the classroom door.
"Come in," Severus barked.
The twins stuck their heads in and after determining that there were no hidden dangers, they slid into the classroom, closing the door softly behind them. Severus carefully warded the entrance after they were inside, making no effort to hide his motions from either of the red haired boys. He then repeated his demand to them and they immediately acquiesced, swearing their oaths with those same serious faces that were so very unfamiliar to the others present.
"Sit down," Severus said gruffly to the two sixth year Gryffindors and they sat nervously in the chairs that had appeared in front of them. "I'm assuming that neither of you have ever been dosed with veritaserum, correct?"
"No sir," they answered in unison, somehow looking incredibly old and ridiculously young at the same time as they stared up at him with wide eyes.
Severus fought against rubbing his head as he felt an incoming headache begin percolating in his skull. Of all the Weasleys, he had always found the twins the easiest to deal with, especially once he got it into their heads that they were not to experiment or prank while in his classroom. He also knew that he was likely the only professor in all of Hogwarts that felt that way—other than Hagrid, perhaps.
"I have the antidote with me, should it turn out that you are allergic," he warned in a soft voice.
"Yes sir." Again with the unison!
Secretly Severus wondered whether their ability to talk separately was actually the act and not the other way around.
"Under any other circumstance, I would not hesitate to ignore a request of this caliber. However," Severus paused and glared at each of the boys in the room, "given the unusualness of the situation at hand, I have allowed myself to be persuaded otherwise. This will not be a repeated endeavor on any of our parts, understand?"
He looked on with satisfaction as they all nodded.
"Good," he allowed the corner of his lip to turn upwards slightly. Quickly he revealed the little bottle of clear liquid to the room and indicated to the twins that they were to open their mouths and stick out their tongues.
"How does it taste?" He asked with an upturned eyebrow.
"It doesn't," was Fred's answer, shortly copied by his brother George.
"That's the idea," Severus said with a cold look. Draco and Blaise each smirked in reaction, but Harry's face very much emulated his own. Severus made a mental note to talk to the boy after this was over.
After waiting a suitable amount of time, he looked back at the red heads eyes and noticed with some satisfaction that they had glazed over a slight amount.
"We'll start easily. What is your first name?" He asked, turning towards Fred.
"Fred," was the boy's monotone response.
"What is your first name?" He asked, turning his attention to George.
"George."
Severus asked a few other questions of similar importance and then moved onto the more pertinent ones.
"Did Ronald Weasley threaten either of you in any way this past month?"
"Yes," they answered as one.
Severus barely avoided rolling his eyes.
"What did he threaten to do to you?"
"Blackmail," was the succinct response he got. Severus raised an eyebrow and looked up towards his Slytherins with a look as though to say, See? Not only Slytherins do such things.
"Who would he tell what?"
"Our parents," Fred answered by himself. "He threatened to tell them that we've been experimenting on the other Gryffindors with our joke store products," George elaborated.
"Just the other Gryffindors?" Draco interjected, earning himself a glare from Severus.
"Until this year, we experimented on everyone, but in the past month, we've only been using the Gryffindors."
"Why?" Severus asked, sending a look of warning back towards his godson.
"Because they've lost their minds," Fred answered first.
"Because they're trying to hurt our Harry," George answered, a slight defensive edge coming through in his voice.
"Our Harry?" Severus mouthed towards his newest snake. A pink faced Harry shrugged and shook his head.
"Why do you call him 'your' Harry?"
"Because he's family," the answer was in unison again.
Severus knew they were getting short on time, so he abandoned that route—no matter how interesting it had been—and turned to the other most pressing topic.
"What did Ronald say to make your sister cry?"
George was silent. It was apparently Fred's turn to reveal something important.
"He mentioned Percy to her," was Fred's ambiguous answer.
"And why did that make Ms. Weasley cry?" Severus asked, curious.
Silence.
Severus decided that a different kind of question was needed to get an answer.
"Why do you think the mention of Percy made Ms. Weasley cry?"
A pause, and then an odd answer came to the fore.
"He pays too much attention to her sometimes, I think," Fred said, finally independent of his brother.
Draco's face was one of confusion, and Blaise's hinted of suspicion, but only his and Harry's were completely devoid of emotion. Severus caught his newest snake's eye briefly and gave him a nod. Yes, they would be discussing this at length later.
Shortly thereafter, the veritaserum wore off. Before leaving, they stopped at the doorway once more and asked if they had proven themselves to be trustworthy yet.
"Trustworthy? Yes. Trusted?" He raised an eyebrow with a questioning look. "I'll let Mr. Evans make that decision."
Then Severus sent the boys on their way, providing them with a note on the off chance that they encountered anyone in the hallway.
. . .
Severus instructed Draco and Blaise to go back to the dorms shortly after the departure of the twins, and then turned back towards Harry with a hand up to forestall the inevitable discussion.
"Once we're back in our quarters, but no sooner," the man told him calmly, putting his hand down on the Harry's shoulder and guiding him out of the classroom.
Harry nodded and kept his mouth shut. The man had referred to it as their quarters, and he wondered if it hadn't just been an accident. Except that Severus doesn't have accidents, was his chastising thought.
Our quarters, he mused on the idea all of the way back there, finally coming out of his thoughts as he left the room to change into his pajamas. He didn't care what he put on, but grabbed at a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt at random, and quickly was back out in the main living area. He wasn't surprised to discover Severus already waiting for him, his own robe off, and shirt sleeves unbuttoned and rolled up to his elbows.
"I could have sworn that you owned pajamas," Harry said with a cheeky grin.
"I could have sworn that you owned sense," the man replied flippantly, a teasing look on his typically serious face.
"Good thing we weren't swearing on anything important," Harry added with a laugh.
"Yes, a good thing," his head of house said, the amused look fading from his eyes as Harry took a seat in the armchair next to him.
Silence between them that was broken by a hesitantly voiced question on his part.
"Do, do you think that Fred meant what it sounded like? I mean," Harry looked at his suddenly very interesting hands, "Do you think that Fred could have meant to make it sound like Percy might have something like an unhealthy interest in Ginny?"
"What do you think?"
Severus is letting me think this through on my own first.
"Well," Harry finally looked back up, "he couldn't have lied, right? Being under veritaserum, right? He couldn't have lied," he whispered, trying to make his brain see the truth. "But he didn't know for sure either, did he. Otherwise he would have said so, one way or the other."
"Veritaserum is often used in situations where the truth isn't clear. Sometimes it is used simply because it allows the brain to make connections that haven't been made before," Severus was looking at him intently, almost as though he were analyzing Harry from the outside in.
"But, they're the Weasleys," Harry hated how his voice sounded like he was pleading with Severus for it not to be true.
"And?"
"They're like the best family ever created," he argued, his voice squeaking with emotion.
Severus stared at him with surprise.
"What makes you say that?" He finally said after a moment of uncomfortable silence.
"Well, you can tell that Mrs. and Mr. Weasley really care for their kids. They do things together all the time and—and they watch out for one another," Harry trailed off miserably. What did he know about happy families? Even if he hadn't been part of the insanity that was the Dursleys, his cousin's family would still have been messed up. He was just a convenient scapegoat.
"Tell me Harry," Severus's voice was as gentle as it ever got and he looked up with some trepidation at the man's change in tone. "Did your cousin ever know about what your uncle did to you?"
It was an honest question and a pertinent one for their discussion. That didn't mean that it was any easier to answer.
"S-Sometimes I thought he knew, but he's really not that good of a liar, so no, I don't think so," Harry answered in a voice that was just barely above a whisper.
Severus's eyes were sad as they looked at him and Harry was forced to look away.
"People see what they want. It's true for society and it's true for families," Severus said softly.
"But the Weasleys," he argued half-heartedly, glancing back up to look into Severus's sad eyes once again.
"Are human, just like the rest of us," Severus confirmed with a nod.
Harry thought about the implications of that and frowned.
"Then I don't think I want to be human."
"It's not that simple," Severus sounded infinitely calm and it annoyed him.
"The Weasley family was everything I ever wanted!" He yelled, standing up with a Snape-esque flourish and striding angrily to the other side of the room. "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley really do love their kids," he gasped out around his rising emotions. "Why can't—," he cut himself off, suddenly furious at himself for trying to voice his longest standing wish.
"Why can't what?" Severus was abruptly crouched beside him, and he realized with a start that he was now curled up on the floor just next to the wall.
"Why can't anyone ever love me?" He sobbed out, pulling his arms around his knees tightly. "Like anyone alive? What is it about me that makes people hate me? What did I do?" He was crying, really crying. It seemed that it was all he ever did anymore.
"Not everyone hates you," Severus's dark eyes stared back at him from where the man was seated in front of him.
"I don't want to just not be hated," he said around his tears. "I want to be loved, damn it. I want someone to give a damn about me," he hit his chest forcefully, maybe even hard enough to bruise. "I want there to be a—a f-fucking constant in my life; someone who always cares about me, someone who bloody well wants the best for me! Fuck!" He put his arms over his head and sobbed. "And fucking R-Ron," he stuttered, determined to get this out even if it killed him. "Fucking Ron has all of that! And he's bloody jealous of me! The fucking-boy-who-lived!" He wiped at his face furiously with his sleeve, and felt Severus shove a handkerchief into his hand.
"And he's jealous of me. He has everything and I have nothing and I hate it," he said a few moments later, the violent burst of emotion suddenly disappearing and leaving him with an empty feeling of despair in his chest.
He dared to look back at Severus and was nearly bowled over by the sadness he saw in the man's face.
"Guess there's no real point in loving me, right?" He tried to smile and give another shrug, but the tears were threatening to return, so his smile turned into more of a grimace. "I mean, why love someone that's just gonna get murdered by the dark lord, yeah? Better to put that energy into something that'll last a little longer," he spat bitterly, no longer trying to hide his misery. He stood up and Severus stood up silently beside him.
"Don't you have anything to say?" He directed his glare at the older man still beside him. "Something like life sucks and it's better that I learn that now? Yeah?" He growled and dared poke a finger into Severus's lean torso.
"Well I don't bloody care. I don't," he tried to say defiantly; turning his back on his professor and slowly making his way back towards his room.
"Harry," the word was spoken before he had made it out very far.
"What?" He answered irritably, hoping that Severus couldn't see his tears falling from where he was standing behind him.
A hand on his shoulder pulling him around, pulling him around to bury his face in the warm chest that belonged to the man who hadn't given up on him yet.
"Silly boy," the words were spoken into his hair with a certain level of fondness that he wasn't yet entirely used to hearing coming from anyone—let alone this man.
"Everyone should hate me," Harry sobbed into the body that was holding him up. "I'm horrible, I'm stupid, I'm—."
"Hush," the word was a command, even if it was spoken in a gentle whisper.
The man holding him didn't offer him any empty platitudes or promises to make things better. He just held onto him and allowed him to do the same.
And for a while, Harry truly felt that he was at peace.

A/N - Reviews make me really ridiculously happy!
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Breaking Forwards