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Things Fall Apart, But Then You Build Again	By : zeldaofarel Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 13943 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Author's Notes: I know I said of the previous chapter that it was a big one, but this is a major turning point. You'll see ... (snicker). This chapter had to be cut towards the end on fanfiction net, because they are enforcing their M limits again. Frankly, I always thought that much is okay on an M, but since it says anything explicit... Anyway, if you want to read the full ending to the chapter, then go to my homepage, or my Facebook page, and there you can find the links to the full version. This is going to be the same for the 16th chapter. I'm about halfway done with that, but I'll be very busy celebrating myself the next week. I also hit a bit of a snag, so I'll have to read some Drarry fics for inspiration. I may also write a bit for this other little add-on, which was inspired by Draco's birthday. It will be similar to Hermione's little piece. Which, if you haven't read, this is the time to do so. Can be found on most sites. Anyway, I found that if I write a bit of something else, then I get inspired to write this one.

Let me give you another warning, if you haven't gathered as much already. There is going to be a sexual encounter between two men in this chapter and in the following chapters as well. If you don't want to read anything explicit, please read the edited version on fanfiction net. Continue reading at your own risk.

Still looking for likes to Zelda of Arel and Drarry Shippers on Facebook. Adults only!

Now, time to thank my lovely betas. Faye adored this chapter. She really liked the last bit. :P Icicle had less work with this one than the previous. She loved some of the imagery towards the end.

Read and review guys! Love reviews. I squeal every time I get one, bounce around, and start screaming "Review". Plus you're still not late with those birthday wishes. :D 30s, here I come!

Chapter 15: What Harry Wants

Harry Apparated into Malfoy Manor solely relying upon instinct to guide him. The upheaval in his soul was so great, he felt like he was again immersed in water like just a couple of hours before. His limbs moved with difficulty, and the currents of his emotions threatened to pull him down into the abyss.

As he arrived into the foyer of the great house, he was thankful that Draco had added him to the wards. He didn't know which way to go, so he just started to walk down a corridor. The candles lit around him as he strolled-a spell that seemed to be in use all around the house. When he opened one of the doors, he realised that it was actually Draco's office.

He looked around, hoping that the blond wouldn't mind. They had spent a lot of time scheming in there and he felt comfortable in the room. He walked to the cabinet where the Firewhisky was kept. He poured himself a glass from the ornate crystal decanter, thought of putting the bottle back, but then kept it with him. He sat down in his favourite spot on the couch and placed the bottle in front of him on the table. He downed the first glass fairly quickly, and then a second, a third, but the fourth one wouldn't slide down so fast into his practically empty stomach. In his quest to drink himself into oblivion, he didn't notice the door opening. He just realised that he wasn't alone when Draco sat down in front of him.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join in?" he quipped.

Harry glared at him for a second, and then his gaze dropped down to observe the amber liquid in his glass that he cradled in his hands.

"What happened? I thought you would be shagging the Weaselette into a mattress about now."

"Someone else was shagging her into a mattress," Harry remarked with dry humour.

"Oh," was all Draco said and he stood to get his own glass. He poured it full and sat back down, his eyes on Harry.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Harry asked, fishing for something to say that wasn't about his wife.

"It's only 9pm."

"Time difference. Right. I forgot."

They lapsed into silence. Draco was obviously waiting for Harry to start speaking. However, he had to wait a while as he was well on his way to consuming his second glass of Firewhisky by the time Harry opened his lips again.

"I've been such a fool. All along, I thought my wife loved me. So she wanted to see the world. Sure! Why not!" He laughed mockingly at himself. "When all along she was going away to hop into the bed of other men. Maybe women too. I found her in the middle of an orgy in some club, so I'm not sure." He looked up at Draco, noting that the man wasn't surprised.

"I kind of guessed that's why she was going there. Harry, you may not know much about the world, but Patong is known for wild parties and casual sex. Men and women go there all the time to get laid. And for the record, I've never been, just heard about it. Apparently, straight and gay people can find willing bodies there equally," Draco explained.

"Don't I know it." Harry smirked, remembering his guide.

"Oh, did you exact revenge on her already?"

"No." Harry reeled back at the idea. To him, sex was never casual. He just couldn't view it like that. "However, there was a very persistent boy that I met. I kept telling him that I wasn't gay, but he insisted that I was." Harry frowned.

Draco laughed.

"Maybe you should have given it a try. You may never know."

"Draco, how did you know?" He was curious, and the alcohol gave him the courage to ask.

"My parents suspected ever since I was little. However, when we had the Yule Ball, Pansy insisted on getting a goodnight kiss. It was the vilest thing I've ever done... Now when Anthony Goldstein pulled me into an alcove during that horrible seventh year, that was the highlight of the whole year." Draco remembered fondly.

"A kiss?" Harry asked, hissing the 's' like a snake and put down his empty glass to fill it up again.

"Harry, believe me, you can know from a kiss. Sure, it was a bit strange at first, but it felt right. The things I've done since then just confirmed it." Draco finished his glass too and refilled.

"I only ever really kissed Ginnnny. Cho once, but that was weiiird and doesn't really count." He shrugged. His words were becoming more slurred as the alcohol level rose.

"Why, what's so great about kissing the redhead?"

"It's Ginnnyy. She's..." Harry shook his head and took another swallow. "A liar. I believed every word!" He shouted, the alcohol getting to him. "Ginnnnyyyy. She said I'm aaawful. Terrrible. Now how was I supposed to know? It's only ever been her. Her. ... Just her." He was wavering between sadness and anger.

"Okay, the alcohol is hitting you now. You drank so fast; it just caught up to you. Now why don't you quit before you pass out?" Draco tried to reason.

"No!" He purposefully downed another glass and almost broke the glass as he smacked it against the table. "Another one!"

"Okay, but this is the last one." Draco complied. He didn't want Harry to pour anyway. He was afraid he'd break the crystal.

"I'm terrrible! So she cheats on me." Harry took a big swallow, nearly choking in his haste. "She didn't love me. Just married Harry Potter. .... You were right, Drrracooo. You're smart. And I'm bad in bed. Bad, bed." He giggled at the sound of the two words together. He looked into the smiling grey eyes before him. "Wanna kiss me?"

Draco choked on his drink as he was just taking a sip at that moment.

"What?!"

"Kiss me," Harry repeated, emboldened by the alcohol.

"Why?"

"Maaaaybe I'm bad bed because I'm gay." He swayed slightly, sitting on the couch. "Just a kiss."

"We're friends," Draco pointed out.

"Please?"

Draco narrowed his eyes, assessing the man before him.

"You're drunk."

"Yeah."

"I'm not drunk enough for this."

Harry just pointed at the bottle, still remarkably full. Draco drank down what he had, poured, drank, poured again, and once finished with that, put the glass down.

"Fine. If you hate it, just push me away," he said, as he got to his feet, swaying, and made it to the other couch through sheer force of will. He flopped down next to Harry and took his glass from him, placing it on the table.

Harry looked into the grey orbs once again and gulped. However, the alcohol together with Gryffindor courage helped. He closed his eyes and waited.

He felt lips on his. Thin but not too thin. More forceful than Ginny ever tried. They moved over his, and then pried them apart to plunge a tongue between his teeth.

'I'm kissing a man,' was Harry's first thought, and then he told his mind to shut up and just feel.

As the tongue sought out his and began to massage, he felt hot all over. He couldn't decide if it was the Firewhisky or the kiss, but it made him giddy. He sprang into action as well, returning the kiss. Harry felt hands in his hair, tugging him closer as their bodies also connected, and his hands also found the short blond strands. Harry's head was falling backwards, onto the soft armrest behind him. Draco was following him, not breaking the kiss and his body came to rest above his partner's. It wasn't very comfortable, but it felt strangely comforting. The kiss was warm, and Harry could taste even more Firewhisky, but it felt like the best kiss he ever had. The part of his brain that was still rational tried to point out that he didn't have much of an experience in that regard, but he supposed it was like eating chocolate. Even if you've never had much of it, you still knew which one you liked the most.

"Draco," he breathed out as they broke for air. He opened his eyes, and his vision was once again filled with grey. Harry didn't want to stop, and he encouraged Draco with his hands to close the gap once more. His eyes closed again as the blond dove in for a second round. His mind shut down, and so did everything else, probably because he passed out.

* * *

Harry woke up in a very dark room. It took his sight a while to get accustomed to the sliver of light coming from a gap in the curtains. He looked around, trying to make sense of the world through a pounding headache. His mouth tasted like something died in it. He was sure he was in a bedroom and based on what he could remember from the previous day, it was probably somewhere in Malfoy Manor. He tried to piece together the fragmented pieces of memory. He recalled arriving in distress over Ginny. Then the alcohol. The talk. Draco kissing him. Draco kissed him! He asked for it! Bloody hell!

The kiss came back to Harry with disturbing clarity. The feel of a lean, hard body over his, pressing him down into the couch. The taste of Firewhisky and something else, masculine and sweet. Silky locks in his hand. He found, to his alarm, that the memory was making him hard. That was probably the single most disturbing thing at that moment, even worse than the headache. It also drew his attention to the fact that he was only in his boxers. He tried to shake his head to clear the memory, but it only served to increase his headache. He made himself stop such a foolish action, and he attributed it to not being in his right mind. He had to find his clothes.

He tried to spring out of bed, but it proved to be another foolish action for two reasons. One was that the covers were thicker and heavier to what he was used to and when he attempted to fling them aside and jump out of the bed in one motion, he miscalculated. His legs got entangled in the covers. The second reason was that the bed happened to be a lot higher than what he was used to; therefore, what he estimated to being a small step down, turned out to be much steeper. The end result was that he fell out of the bed, legs entangled in the covers on top of the bed, hit his head with a bang into the floor rug, and was hanging upside down in a very uncomfortable position. In his dizzy state of mind, he called himself many kinds of fool, but his morning trial was not over.

From the bed, a voice that sounded through the ringing in his ears like Draco, cursed aloud.

"Harry?" he said, after a few choice words.

Harry was not ready to try to sort himself out from his awkward position half on the floor and half on the stupidly high bed, so he just stayed quiet.

Draco's head popped into view above him, and Harry was glad that he could only see the faint outline in the darkness and without his glasses.

"Morning, Draco."

"What are you doing on the floor?"

"Napping."

"Like that?"

"Yeah. Good for the back."

"Right." The head was gone for a second, but quickly returned and had the outline of a potion bottle next to it. "You'll have a hard time drinking the hangover relief in that position though."

Harry knew from the sound of Draco's voice that he was trying not to laugh.

"Fine. Help me?"

Chuckling lightly, Draco freed Harry's legs and he tumbled down to the floor. He slowly got up and sat back on the bed. Malfoy handed him the potion and he gratefully gulped it down. In a second, his headache was a thing of the past and he sighed in relief.

"Better?"

"Much."

Harry found his glasses on the table beside the bed and after he put them on he could observe the blond. To his alarm, the other man was in his boxers as well.

'Hmmm. Draco... who ... took off my clothes?' he asked, blushing.

"I did."

"Did we ... do something?"

"Yeah, we shagged. It was really phenomenal, don't you remember?"

Harry's jaw dropped, and he stared in alarm.

"Just kidding. Nothing happened. You passed out on the couch."

"Thank Merlin! Not that... I mean..."

"Relax. It's fine. Though, I have to admit, it's been a long time since anyone swooned when I kissed him." Draco smirked.

Harry knew that he was just playing with him at that point. He laughed and got up with the intent of finding the bathroom. Draco also got up and pulled the nearest curtains apart. Light flooded the room and Harry could see that they were in an enormous bedroom. He walked up to the first door and found a walk-in closet behind it. It was filled with robes and shoes. Draco's bedroom then.

"Why do you have so many clothes?"

"I know it's kind of a cliché, but I'm a gay wizard. What do you expect?"

Harry shrugged and tried the next door, which actually turned out to be the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and went about his business. As he was wondering about what to do for the taste in his mouth, a house-elf popped in with a tooth-brush. He also decided to shower since he still stank of sun and sweat. He was a bit reluctant to put his dirty boxers back on, but he had left his shrunken trunk in Patong. Once he was done, he went out to let the owner in.

"Harry, I couldn't find your trunk and your clothes were filthy. I found you some robes that are a bit bigger and may fit you,' Draco instructed as he went to execute his own morning ritual.

Harry found deep blue robes and white trousers on the bed. It was a colour combination he would have never worn. All his trousers were black or brown and he tended to stay away from blue as well. Except for a pair of Muggle jeans he bought for comfort. He put on the clothes and was glad to find that they did actually fit him. He found a triple mirror in one corner and gazed at his reflection.

"I knew you'd look good," Draco noted as he exited the bathroom.

"Interesting colours."

"Yes, well, the lighter trousers make you look taller and leaner. The blue complements your hair well. You should wear more colours, Harry."

"I suppose. Hermione should really get you a Barbie." He laughed, remembering the conversation they once had.

"Oh, she did. A Ken too. I never would have thought Muggles could make something so clever."

Harry stared in amazement that she had actually done it and Draco had actually liked the present. The other man disappeared into the closet and reappeared dressed.

"Draco, about last night..." he began.

"I get it, Harry. You were drunk and curious. It'll never happen again." He dismissed the topic with a wave of his hand. "So, let's get tea."

"Tea?"

"It's five in the afternoon," he said, pointing at the clock on the mantle.

"Oh, okay."

The afternoon tea room was already occupied. The two elder Malfoys sat around a low table in comfortable armchairs and were conversing. Harry had never been in that room and he was amazed at how warm it looked. It was full of green, which was apparently the Malfoy colour of choice but a lighter green. The chairs and even the walls were decorated with a forest motif. Among the green leaves Harry could see beautiful flowers and colourful birds. The latter moved as he was watching, to his surprise. He never knew that wallpaper could be charmed the same way as paintings.

"Good afternoon, Mother, Father," Draco greeted.

"Good afternoon, Narcissa and Lucius," Harry also chimed in.

"Harry, back so soon?" Narcissa inquired.

"Ah, yes, I ..."

"He discovered his wife cheating on him and rushed back," Draco blurted out. Harry blushed.

"How horrible!" Narcissa exclaimed, and motioned for the boys to sit down. She poured them both cups of tea and handed them the saucers.

"Thank you," Harry said. "Yes, it was a nasty shock."

"Are you going to get a divorce now?" Lucius asked.

"Yes. I know that among Dark wizards who have arranged marriages such a thing would not be a reason for divorce, but I can't live like that."

"It will be harder for you now, though. Wish you had made the discovery a few months ago. Keeping the children with you would have been easier," Draco stated.

"So do I. However, Ginny has not been around much these past years, so that may work in our favour. If we could prove her lifestyle in Thailand, it would also be good grounds for getting custody of the children,' Harry pondered. The Malfoys agreed with him and the four of them began strategising how they should go about getting the divorce to go their way. As Lucius Malfoy stood to Floo one of his old friends, Harry tried not to dwell on the end of his marriage. There would be time for that later.

Once they had a plan and Harry was full with tea and sandwiches, he stood to find his children. The house-elf they called informed them that Hermione was with the children in the indoor pool. Harry was led there and when he stepped in, the architect of Malfoy Manor didn't disappoint once more.

The pool room was a lot like the greenhouses he had previously visited. The ground wasn't stone or wood but actual warm sand. It wasn't as white as in Thailand but rather beige. There were palm trees surrounding a large pool that apparently got deeper the further someone went in from the entrance. The pool itself was tiled with blue tiles that had the pattern of waves on them. Harry also spotted a large Jacuzzi off to the side. His children along with Hermione and Scorpius were playing in the shallower part of the pool, throwing a beach ball around. Harry laughed as Lily squealed when her ball went so high, Scorpius had a hard time catching it. Hermione spotted Harry first, as she was standing in the deepest part and was facing the entrance.

"Harry!" she called out.

"Dad!" his children exclaimed and were about to run to him.

"Stop! Dry first," Hermione instructed and all three of them did as they were told.

Harry was glad to be surrounded by them and hugged them tightly. Hermione and Scorpius also left the water and she had a question on her face. Harry just mouthed 'later'.

"So, can I join?" he asked.

Everyone nodded enthusiastically and he was shown the swimwear closet. Harry changed and was soon in the water, his worries forgotten for the time being.

* * *

In the evening, once everyone under ten was in bed, Harry and the Malfoys filled Hermione in on their plan of action. She gave her own input and some more strategising ensued. However, soon everyone was dropping off, only Harry and Draco were left awake in the house.

"Want to come to my sitting room?" Draco invited.

"Okay, I'm not tired at all."

"Harry, we only got up five hours ago."

"Oh right."

As Harry got cosy in another set of beautiful sofas, he wondered how come his were so terribly uncomfortable?

"Harry, about last night...," Draco began.

"I liked it."

"You were drunk."

"I still liked it."

"It may not mean anything."

"But you said ... you said you knew from a kiss."

"Yes. It still doesn't have to mean anything, Harry."

"But it does. To me." Harry wished that he had some Firewhisky in his system again, but if he did, then Draco wouldn't believe him. "It felt right. And good. Look, I'm scared of what that may mean, but these recent months I've learned that I didn't like my life. I thought it was perfect, but now I just don't know how I could. It was like being asleep and now I'm finally awake. I thought I wanted to be an Auror." Harry frowned. "I do love helping people, but I never liked violence, being a slave to hierarchy and Ministry bureaucracy. As a politician, I can help more people than ever before. I didn't see the world around me for many years. I never noticed how unhappy Hermione was, or how much of a bigot Ron was. Even if I did see it, I ignored it. I also ignored just how bad my marriage was. I hated a lot of things about the house we lived in, about the way we lived, but I never said a thing."

"That is strange," Draco noted.

"What is?"

"I never thought that you would be the kind of person who would just lie down and take everything silently."

"That's really not me, is it?" Harry mused.

"When did it start?"

"Years ago." Harry fell silent for a while, silently asking himself the same question. When had he surrendered his own wants and desires to that of Ginny? "It all seems a bit hazy now. I got back with Ginny right after the War. During that hellish year, all I could think about was her and how after it was all over, I could be with her. She felt like home. The Burrow was the warmest and safest place I've ever known and she was a piece of it. So I was with her during that supplementary year. You didn't attend, as I recall, you finished your schooling at home." Draco just silently nodded. "We sat for our NEWTs. Ginny was supposed to finish a year later, but she studied hard and could sit for the NEWTs with us. After school I moved to the Burrow. I proposed to Ginny as I was afraid that the Weasleys wouldn't let me stay in her room otherwise. We soon joined the Auror programme and Ginny played Quidditch. We got married in autumn and moved to a new house."

"Pretty smooth sailing."

"Yeah, it was." Harry felt that there was something wrong with that memory though. As if he was missing something. He closed his eyes in an effort to delve deeper into his memories.

He still had the feeling that he had forgotten an important piece of his past. He followed the feeling and found himself sitting in the living room in the Burrow. Ginny was beside him and he had his arms around her as she leaned into him. Bill and Fleur were also in front of him in a similar position, but they kept glancing at each other even as they talked. Their eyes. They bothered him. He couldn't name what it was exactly at first, but then he realised that it was true love. They seemed to shine with an inner light. He looked down at Ginny and he couldn't see it. Then he thought of himself and he couldn't feel it. Not that love.

At that moment, it hit him. Ginny was safe, comfortable, part of the Burrow, home but not love, passion, desire. When he was away, training hard, he didn't think of going home to her. He thought of going home to all of the Weasleys. About Molly's pumpkin pie and Sunday roast. Conversing with Arthur about random Muggle things. Chatting with Ron about training. He had only been together with Ginny a year and the thought of sex with her didn't raise his interest. He wasn't in love with Ginny.

Harry recalled talking to her that night. He gently tried to tell her without actually saying out loud that he wasn't in love. She asked him to wait, consider it, to go to sleep and maybe talk about it when they weren't so tired. Then the talk never came.

"I didn't love her," Harry broke the silence.

"What?" Draco was startled by the sudden words.

Harry had been sitting there with his eyes closed for some time and he spoke without opening them. Once he did, he felt tears in his eyes at the revelation.

"I wasn't in love with Ginny when I married her. But then why did I marry her?"

"Did you talk to her about it?"

"Yes. She told me to sleep on it."

"What happened when you brought it up again?"

"I never did."

Draco frowned again.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. It was like I had forgotten. We got married a month later."

"Were you planning to?"

"Yes, but there was a point when I thought of calling it off. Then everything got hazy, and I forgot about that. All I wanted to do was to please Ginny."

"Then what happened?"

"Like I said, we got the house. It was yellow...like Ginny wanted. Then she furnished it. Got that awful sofa in the sitting room."

"That is awful. It's not only ugly, but terrible to sit in."

"It is."

"Did you say anything to her about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I just...don't know."

Draco looked at him with eyes that seemed to gaze into his soul.

"Harry, when did you start that special diet with Hermione?"

"In October, when she announced she was going to get a divorce."

"It made you feel different?"

"Yes. I had more energy. It was like the fog I had been stumbling in had suddenly lifted and I could see everything more clearly. I must have been ill."

"Harry, you were not ill," Draco said with confidence.

"You're not a mediwizard."

"I'm not, but remember, I was great in Potions. So much so, that I became a Potions master. I always loved it, but I had to follow the family tradition of politics. Not that I don't love that as well. However, I became a Potions master for myself. What you just told me reminds me of an old potion Light Families used when they had an unwilling bride. It made her complacent and desperate to please. Practically like a lapdog."

"Draco, what are you saying?"

"She's been drugging you, Harry."

"But...that is not possible! Especially not since Lily's birth. She was hardly home."

"You have a house-elf, right?"

"Yes."

"Summon it."

"Dinky!"

The house-elf appeared with a pop and Harry stared at Draco, not wanting to consider where he was going.

"Ask Dinky if she was giving you a potion."

"Were you?" Harry asked, not wanting to repeat what Draco said. It felt like an accusation.

"Yes, Master. Mistress instructed Dinky to put it into Master's fruit juice every morning. When Master didn't want to drink fruit juice anymore, I couldn't put it into anything. Mistress instructed it had to be taken with sugar. Master not eat sugar anymore," the nervous house-elf revealed.

"Did Mistress tell you what sort of a potion it was?"

"She said it was for Master's good health."

"Dinky, please, gather my things and the children's, then bring everything here. You can also stay here with the other house-elves. I won't be returning to the house," Harry instructed quietly and the elf popped away.

"Sugar. That is important in catalysing the effects of the potion," Draco said.

"You were right." Harry felt like an idiot. All this time, he had been drugged.

"I'm sorry I was. It does explain a lot, though."

"You don't mind us moving here? I should have asked for your permission first." Harry hung his head.

"No, Harry. We love having all four of you around."

Harry looked into Draco's eyes. They were full of some soft emotion, and then it hit him. It was the same look he saw in the memory that Bill and Fleur shared. He was momentarily startled by the discovery. Draco loved him. Perhaps he knew it, perhaps not, but the emotion was there. He wasn't sure what to do with the information. He was afraid that the previous evening he had toyed with those emotions and hurt Draco. The blond has done so much for him. He was confused as to how to go on. He wanted to experiment further, but if it hurt the other man, he wouldn't forgive himself.

"I like being here. It's such a beautiful place," Harry said, when he realised he had been staring for a while.

"We had the whole Manor refurbished after the War. Even the parts that hadn't been tainted by Voldemort just brought back bad memories. I oversaw most of the design along with my mother. My father was rather busy at the time."

Harry cringed at remembering that Lucius was in Azkaban at the time.

"Can we use the potion thing against Ginny?"

"Maybe, Harry. However, I'm sure the potion itself is not illegal. What its use will mean in court, we can discuss with the solicitor."

"Probably Hermione was drugged too," Harry realised.

"Yes, very likely. We'll have to discuss it tomorrow with her."

"At least I got three wonderful children out of it." Harry saw the bright side of the whole sordid affair.

"Yes. Those three are really worth all what you had gone through. I feel the same way about Scorpius."

They shared a smile at the thought of their children.

"About last night..." Harry began.

"Harry, you liked it. Fine. It was just a kiss."

"It's what I began to tell you, Draco. I really liked it. I ..." He blushed at what he was about to say. "I want to try it again."

Draco stared at him, but it wasn't the amused smirk Harry expected. The blond looked a bit scared. Harry suspected it was because of his feelings. However, he needed to see if kissing Draco sober felt as good as drunk. For once, he had to put his own needs before others, or in this case, Draco Malfoy's.

"Alright, Harry. Like before, if you don't like it, then you can still push me away." Draco broke him out of his thoughts, got up from the sofa opposite Harry, and walked over, just like the night before.

Harry could feel his heart racing, his palms getting slick with nervous sweat. When Draco sat down next to him, he swallowed and put his glasses down. Draco placed his right hand behind his head, and gently pushed their lips together. The soft pink pillows that were the blond's lips moved gently over Harry's, and then they opened to let his tongue out to play. Harry also parted his lips and when their tongues met, neither could resist a moan. Harry's right hand found its way into blond hair in an effort to keep their lips locked as the kiss became more passionate. Their tongues moved more rapidly and Harry moaned again as he felt himself getting impossibly aroused. Just as his left hand tried to find an opening under Draco's robes and shirt to touch the pale skin underneath, Draco broke the kiss.

For what seemed like hours, the grey orbs stared into green, as if searching for something.

"Draco," Harry broke the silence.

'Harry, I...' His voice broke and his hand shook behind Harry's head.

"Draco, kiss me more," Harry pleaded.

"If I kiss you again, I may not be able to stop. As much as you enjoy it, Harry, I'm not sure if you want to do more." He let his hand drop into his lap, but his eyes didn't leave Harry's.

Harry was painfully aroused. That much he knew. He also knew he wanted to explore further. He couldn't remember any girls' kisses ever affecting him so much, but he was also afraid. The thought of embracing what he felt was terrifying. It wasn't just the physical aspect. Kissing Draco felt so right, as if it was the one thing he was missing from his life. When he was still happy with Ginny, she felt like home. Draco, however, felt like fire; deliciously warm, almost burning, and still consuming. He felt alive. He didn't want the feeling to stop. It wasn't just about the physical things that Draco made him feel, either. All his life he had been looking at the blond, and while he kept telling himself that he was checking what his enemy was up to, he had been lying to himself. He had been watching the strangely beautiful pale boy he had met in the robe shop. Draco was also smart, intelligent, and he enjoyed his company. In their adulthood their differences had become milder and their similarities strengthened. Harry wanted to be with him. He wanted to be the one to whisper dirty things in his ear on a balcony in the middle of a party. He wanted that lean body in his arms and those lips on his. However, he also wanted to feel so calm, secure and at peace with the world as he has when he slept next to Draco in the greenhouse

"I want to try more. I'm sure, Draco. It's like I've found what I've been missing," he confessed.

"We'll take things slow, Harry. We won't go all the way. I just want you to relax about that. I'm just going to show you things. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, or like it's too much, let me know and I'll stop."

Harry nodded and Draco stood up. He held out a hand to Harry and the other man took it to stand up. He remembered the time he wouldn't take Draco's hand again. As much as he didn't want to be connected to the blond then, there had always been something between them. Perhaps all this time, this was where they were heading.

Draco led him to his bedroom and the enormous bed they had shared the previous evening. They stopped next to it and Draco slipped his robe off, letting it pool around his feet. He locked eyes with Harry as he unbuttoned his shirt, but not too slowly, he was too impatient for that. As the pale torso was revealed, Harry couldn't help his gaze darting down to drink it all in. The flat chest seemed more inviting than Ginny's more rounded one, even though she never had large breasts, just when she was breastfeeding. It was those male nipples he wanted to taste. Then Draco bent to pull his trousers off, and in a second he was standing in a pair of tight boxer shorts.

"Now it's your turn."

Harry made short work of his clothes, he was so eager to get on with it. When they were both down to their underwear, they crashed together, lips locking. However, there was nothing gentle about it. It felt like a battle as to who could consume the other one. When Harry kissed Ginny before, he never felt the tension. She was the passive one, but there wasn't anything passive about Draco. Either of them could win the battle for dominance and it was a challenge. The fight thrilled Harry.

They fell on the bed, hands sliding over naked flesh. Draco managed to get the upper hand in their erotic wrestling and attacked Harry's nipples. They both moaned.

"Your skin tastes so good. I bet you taste better down south," Draco said with a wicked grin.

He travelled along the path of the dark hair that led all the way into Harry's boxers and when he reached the waistband, he got that off as well with Harry's help. As his aching manhood sprang forth, he couldn't look away from Draco's face hovering over his erection. The blond looked down, then back up, and slowly lowered his lips to encase the tip. He gave it an experimental suck, and Harry almost lost it right there. Draco slowly slid his lips down until Harry's member hit the back of his throat. Then, ever so slowly, he pulled back up, sucking all the way. Harry couldn't believe how good it felt and looked. Draco repeated the process again and again, slowly gaining speed. By the time he had a more satisfying rhythm going, Harry was moaning uncontrollably, and had a hard time keeping his hips from trusting into those pink lips. Draco grasped the base of Harry's cock, and his left hand began to help in providing more friction. Suddenly, he swallowed Harry all the way down and hummed. At that point, the other man couldn't take anymore and came explosively into the waiting mouth, his cries of pleasure reverberating around the room.

When his spurts ceased, and he was once again flaccid, Draco let him go and crawled up to his face. He was grinning like the proverbial cat. Harry's breathing was still rapid. The blond caressed his face tenderly.

"I'm going to hazard a guess and say that you enjoyed that."

"You think?" Harry managed to get out.

When he was breathing normally again, he kissed Draco deeply. It was strange to know that the salty taste in the other man's mouth was from him.

"I can't believe you swallowed all that."

"I like how you taste, Harry."

They both grinned.

"My turn. Now...I've never done this before. I don't know what you like, so if I do anything wrong, just tell me."

"Okay. I'll let you know ahead. If at some point you don't have a finger in my arse, you're doing it wrong." The blond smirked and lay back, spreading his legs to make room for Harry.

Harry was a bit nervous as he took in the pale feast of flesh, but he let it go and resolved to enjoy the moment. This was exactly what he wanted.

End Notes: Please don't kill me. I hope you liked it. I was wavering between it being abrupt or not, but I thought I built it up well. What do you think?
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Things Fall Apart, But Then You Build Again