Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

I just wanted to ask	By : evil-minded Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 31281 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 11
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character from it, Rowling does … I do not make any money out of Harry Potter either, again – Rowling does … I however do own Herbaceous VanHarkins – but I don’t make money of him also … :D …

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Author's Notes:

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

And yes, I really would appreciate it, if you would honor my work with a short review as I always will honor your comments with an answer … Answers to reviews you have given or the chance to discuss the story you can find here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/34437-review-replies-for-i-just-wanted-to-ask/

Warning:

Story contains references to child abuse:

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution … handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

what does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

Story contains adult stuff:

Especially sex between two men … as there is Harry Potter – a male – having sex with Severus Snape – another male … what means those gay things … not to mention that the relationship between the two of them is one based on BDSM …

Don't like it, don't read it …

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

Previously in I just wanted to ask

It was quite evident that he was the only adult left in Harry's life who could be trusted to do right by the boy and so it was necessary that he kept himself out of trouble, out of prison, and if only for the sake of his brat that needed him, that wanted him, however that had happened. But the temptation was present – and quite strong.

I just wanted to ask

Chapter fifteen

For Merlin's sake!

The moment he woke Harry groaned quietly. Not because of pain, as he felt nearly none, but because of embarrassment the moment he remembered the evening before.

He actually had revealed all his secrets to Snape yesterday evening!

All of them, even the fact that his uncle had made him touching him, and he closed his eyes in frustration.

Well, yes – part of him knew that it was better this way. Part of him knew that Snape would have to know if he truly wanted to continue with this relationship, not to mention that Snape would have found out anyway and that he would have been just the more angry then for not telling him. But honestly – Snape now knew.

Bringing his hand up to his face he ran it over his forehead, trying to get his frustration under control and at the same time trying to get awake, while he briefly wondered how he had gotten back into his room and the only logical conclusion he came to was –

Snape had carried him to bed – yet again.

Somehow the man seemed to carry him back and forth and back again all the time lately, not a fact that sat well with him. He was a sixteen year old teenage boy, for Merlin's sake. Neither a toddler nor a girl to be carried around all day long.

The next thing he registered was the fact that he actually was nearly pain-free.

Pain – he thought, he had forgotten what it felt like when it was absent, and he had to admit that it was a feeling he quite welcomed. The last time this pain-free feeling had been … well … during his third year, after his injuries finally had healed. And it was nice to feel the same way again.

If only Snape would not …

He jumped when he heard a soft knock at the door and a scared look entered his eyes while he looked like a frightened rabbit towards the entrance of the room he occupied down here right now, seeing Snape standing in the door frame and he tried to judge the older wizard's thoughts and opinion.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

The magic floating between the boy's necklace and the ring he himself wore finally had settled to a steady flow and Snape was glad for this. During the past days he sometimes had felt what the boy felt when he was in his presence, but not always. He hadn't felt the headache the boy had had two days earlier. And he hadn't felt the entire panic the boy had been in yesterday either. But finally the devices worked as they should and right now he felt the frustration coming from his brat, indicating that Harry was awake.

He got up and went over to the door that would lead to the boy's room and softly knocked at the door frame. He didn't want to startle the boy with his unannounced presence. The brat had been startled and scared enough in his life. He however could tell the look of frustration on the boy's face was changing into a look of relief, probably at being pain-free, then into one of self-loath, probably berating himself again and finally into fear again when he knocked at the door. So much for not scaring the brat.

"Good morning, Harry." He said. "Breakfast is set – and stop insulting yourself again."

"Morning, sir." The brat replied quietly, again a look of relief crossing his face and for another moment Snape narrowed his eyes at the boy. He had noticed the relief that had washed over the teen the moment he finally had spoken to him in the middle of last night, out in the hallway where he had found him in only his pyjamas and not even socks on his feet. And now he greeted him verbally and again looked relieved. And it only left one answer in his mind: the boy had feared that he might not be able to – what led to the conclusion that this particular issue might have happened quite often, and for more than just a few hours while he had been upset. Not a thought that sat well with him, he had to admit, as it only proved that the mental scars ran much deeper than he had feared.

The teen moved to get up and slightly winced at the movement, causing him to narrow his eyes at the brat once more while he went over to the chair he had been sitting in last night.

"Any troubles, Mr. Potter?" He drawled with his eyebrow raised – in his typical Snape manner.

"No, sir." The boy quickly answered. "I'm just a bit stiff. It will wear off during the day."

"I take it that you think that – feeling a bit stiff – is quite a common thing to experience?" Snape asked, summoning a vial of massaging oil.

He lifted his eyebrow at the force with which the vial ended up in his hand, not remembering having used such an amount of force while summoning it and he shook his head for a moment.

"Get off your pyjama top, Harry." He then said. "And don't argue. I have seen your body yesterday evening and I do know what it looks like. Just do it."

The teen began undoing the buttons, fumbling with them while his fingers were trembling so badly that Snape was momentarily tempted to catch the boy's hands gently and to hold them securely in his, to undo the buttons himself, but he forced himself to wait patiently.

"Lay onto your stomach." He simply ordered the moment the teen finally had managed to open his pyjama top and had slipped out of the piece of clothing.

His oil covered hands startled the teen and the brat practically jumped, causing Snape to smirk for a moment until he remembered the exact reason as to why the teenager was so jumpy in the first place and he got sober immediately.

"Just relax." He said softly while using confident strokes to massage Harry's shoulders. "I won't hurt you. But it isn't normal being stiff in the morning after sleeping in a comfortable bed. I could understand if you had slept in this chair which I know you haven't as I have been sitting in it until late last night."

"Uhm …" The boy made, blushing a satisfyingly shade of red. "Why would you …"

"Why would I not sit beside a young man that was unaware of his delicious body while being asleep, Mr. Potter?" He asked sarcastically, moving his hands over the boy's lower back and his sides. "I would be a fool if I would not."

The blush on the teen's face – if even possible – deepened and again Snape smirked, knowing meanwhile how easily he could make the boy squirming and blushing.

"I'm not …"

"You are, Mr. Potter, and the fact that you are so unaware of it makes you just the more adorable." Snape interrupted before the boy could say something absolutely foolish about not having a delicious body. There probably was no student in this school that was as unaware of his or her own body as was Harry, the boy was a bloody virgin when it came to his own body.

"It's unfair." The boy suddenly muttered unhappily and he stopped the movements of his hands for a moment.

"To what exactly are you referring, Mr. Potter?" He asked, his eyebrow raised.

"Uhm … well … you know … I mean … that is …"

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked smirking. "Is there something you wanted to say?"

Of course there was no answer aside from a headshake and Snape smirked again.

"I thought so." He simply said, quite glad that the brat had not told what exactly he thought was unfair. He wasn't sure if he was ready to undress in front of his brat yet as he himself wasn't so unaware of his own body.

Flashback

He stood in front of the mirror above the sink in his bathroom, looking at the reflection of his face and for once in his life he wished he had a wizarding mirror.

He always had loathed the talking mirrors that were normal objects used in the wizarding world. He had gotten sick of the comments about his greasy hair, his sallow skin and his large nose and so he had a perfectly silent muggle mirror. But right now he wished for its information – but the mirror said nothing, just as it was supposed to.

He knew he wasn't an attractive man and he had come to terms with that fact long ago. And he also knew that his partners hadn't been with him for his appearance either. He was thirty-six and in the full flower of adulthood, but he also was suffering from his own coldness and darkness, from his own bitterness, and his life's harshness had hardened his features.

Not to mention his body itself.

He knew that he looked too skinny and some of the men with whom he'd had his trysts in the past had unmercifully commented that he definitely should eat more. The questions what he had done to his nose, or if he ever walked out into the sun, if he ever washed his hair, were some he was used to by now and he never had allowed those questions or comments to actually hurt him, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle the same questions coming from his brat.

And then there were the scars. He had lived a harsh youth, he had lived through the first wizarding war as a Death Eater at first and then as a spy. So naturally he had his fair numbers of scars littering his body. And now the second wizarding war had started and he again was in the midst of it, again as a spy. And again – there were already new scars that decorated his body due to this second wizarding war that left scars on everyone.

But right now – he actually wished this blasted mirror to tell him its opinion.

End flashback

"Turn!" He softly commanded, still sitting beside the brat on the edge of the mattress and watching the teen to obey, to turn onto his back, again a blush forming on the boy's face.

"You have such a delicious blush." He said, smirking at the deepening of said blush and he had to keep himself from actually chuckling. "In fact, I actually do have a few very satisfying ideas with which I surely can get you to blush an even prettier shade of red." He ran his hands across Harry's chest and reveled at the feeling of the teen's muscles twitching under his touch.

It was the first time he touched the brat's naked skin in such an intimidate way and he knew he had to be slow or he would startle the boy out of his pants. Not that he would have minded – but well … that was not what should happen and he knew it. So he just continued running his fingers lightly down the boy's chest, slowly and gently, easing Harry into the idea of being touched by the hands of another man in such an intimidate way, knowing very well that Harry could bolt at any moment and he did not want that to happen. He wanted Harry to trust him enough to know that he would not hurt him intentionally, to know that he would do nothing without his consent.

His fingers continued their way over the teenager's skin, were running down the boy's flanks, feeling the muscles tense and relax and tensing again against his fingers as the boy tensed up every now and then. He lowered his head to one side, watching the boy's Adam's apple which bobbed with nervousness.

"If, at any time, you want me to stop, you just have to say your safe word, and I will do." He softly said while he placed the fingers of his other hand at the teen's throat, caressing the skin there too, running them lightly over the bobbing Adam's apple, feeling the movements underneath his fingertips. "Do you understand?"

The younger wizard nodded while writhing under his fingers, breathing heavily with pleasure and Snape nearly thought he could hear the boy's heart beating furiously against the pale chest while he attacked his body with seductive touches. He could feel his own cock hardening, pressing against his trousers and grabbing Harry's arms with one hand and forcing them above his head, Snape straddled the teenager, pinning Harry nearly effortlessly to the bed as the black eyes watched the squirming brat while he used his other hand on the boy's chest to pin the teen's upper body to the bed. His own breathing and his own body and mind heated with adrenaline, Snape stared at the panting body of his once most hated student.

It had been a long time since he had been together with anyone and in such a way no less. On top of that he had a very desirable young man laying in front of him who was panting and trembling with anticipation. So it was only understandable that he himself had to fight hard to keep his arousal under control in order to not startle the teenager that lay in front of him.

Harry yelped when the vice like grip grasped his wrists and they were pinned to the mattress above his head, his upper body being held down to the bed by the strong wizard's other hand on his chest and firm legs straddling him, the man sitting atop his lower region his groin pressing against his own, and Harry realized with a blush what it was doing to him.

Snape moved his free hand over the narrow chest and his thumbs moved over Potter's nipples, toying with them, hardening them, causing the boy to whimper softly and it was a sound that nearly made Snape shudder with desire.

Harry hitched a breath as a finger tweaked his nipple, pinching it in a way that it sent shivers up and down his spine and he pressed his eyes close. He couldn't believe how hard he was, or how much pleasure Snape could cause just by touching him, but immediately the older wizard growled softly at him.

Snape smirked, and glanced at the boy's face. Harry's emerald eyes were closed and he was nibbling his lower lip as though he were trying to avoid making any sounds that were trying to escape those delicious lips and he frowned. That would not do. That would not do, at all.

"Open your eyes!" Snape commanded and his voice had dropped even deeper than it normally was, was dropping over his senses like honey on bread and Harry couldn't help gasping, opened his eyes. "I want to see what you feel when I touch you."

He bit his lip even harder as he saw the expression on Snape's face.

The dark eyes were fierce but the look on Snape's face was so passionate that Harry soundlessly gasped again as Snape squeezed the bud he held between his thumb and forefinger roughly. Harry continued to worry his lip in between his teeth, hoping that he wouldn't make a sound.

Snape's fingers on his bud stilled and with gentle fingers the older wizard eased Harry's lip from between his teeth.

"There will be none of that, Mr. Potter." Snape softly but sternly chided. "I want to hear the precious little sounds you make, brat."

Harry nevertheless kept silent when Snape's fingers went back to his nipple and squeezed, and a second time Snape growled in displeasure.

That really wouldn't do and he was quick to introduce the enthralling flesh of the boy's other nipple to his teeth, could feel Potter tensing for a moment and swallowing thickly, just before he bit down hard on his left nipple while he at the same time squeezed the boy's right nipple with his fingers hard and roughly, causing the boy to throw his head back, to arch his back and to give away a loud gasp of pain and pleasure while he teased the buds by his teeth and fingers.

He saw stars as Snape bit down hard on his left nipple, shivered at the pain and at the same time blinding pleasure it caused and his groin twitched for another moment. He felt a rushing sensation centered around there, that place that Harry had never really thought about before, and if he did think about it, then he felt the thing down there hardening even more, like nothing else he had ever felt before, while something curled in the pit of his stomach, something twitchy and deep, something that he really had never felt before.

When his mouth finally found Harry's other nipple, Snape attended to this one teasingly too. He licked around it in slow circles first, and then stroked over the nub before drawing back slightly. He blew gently on it, and he felt satisfied when Harry gasped harshly, his nipples hardening further.

He smirked, and stroked his tongue against Harry's nipple a second time, causing the teen to moan softly while he wrapped his lips around the bud, and sucked, gently at first, but steadily growing rougher until he had the bud between his teeth.

"You have the most delicious body one could wish for." Snape growled with his much too deep voice that again sent shivers down the younger wizard's body when he finally stopped and looked over his brat. "And so responsive."

"I would …" The brat gasped between his still frantic breathing. "I would like … I would like to see … to see yours too."

For a moment Snape stiffened and his dark eyes bore into the green ones that were rather glassy with pleasure, but then he lowered his head to one side before he inclined it and slowly released the boy's hands.

That had not been what he had intended today, but at the same time he knew that someday the boy would see his body anyway. At least if they continued this relationship, what he had ever intention to do. So he opened the buttons of his shirt one by one, slowly, as if teasing the teenager that still lay on the bed, but in reality covering his own unsureness with the slow action. He finally shoved the shirt off his shoulders and slipped out of the sleeves, the white fabric softly falling to the bed behind him.

It was the first time that Harry saw him naked, even if it was only his upper body, and Snape could feel the gaze of the teenager as it passed over him. Harry's eyes were fixed on his too thin chest as he sat straight and tall atop him, allowing the inspection, waiting for a remark that would show rejection and he had to use all his occlumency shields to keep his emotions from showing on his face.

But then the teen sat up halfway, leaning onto one elbow while unsurely extending his hand and then Harry's fingertips brushed his chest slowly, gently and intimately while a small and happy smile showed on the brat's face, and the spontaneity of the touch and the trust it expressed made Snape forget about his insecurity, made way for a deep and strange feeling he couldn't name yet.

Taking hold of the boy's wrists again, he bent down to touch the boy's lips with his own, pinning the teen's arms towards the mattress again while forcing his brat's lips apart and entering this hot and wet cavern with his tongue, roughly devouring the boy's mouth and this time Harry didn't try to take the upper hand but allowed him to dominate the kiss, his eyes closed again while soft moans escaped him.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

It had been the most intense experience he ever had made.

Well, aside from the pain his uncle so often had inflicted onto him, and the pain from the cruciatus Voldemort had thrown at him back at fourth year. Those kinds of pain had been intense as well. But that had been different kinds of pain and as intense as the pain back then had been, it …

Well, it just had been anything else than – pleasant.

But this kind of pain had been pleasant, and suddenly he again understood what Snape had tried to tell him a few days earlier.

It had hurt, when Snape had bit down, a lot, and he was sure that the man had left bruises, but it had been different. Hell, it still was different. He still was hard and there still was something twitching, down there. And honestly, he would love to – just for a moment – lower his hand to touch himself down there, just to ease the nearly painful throbbing.

But Snape had made himself very clear the other day. He did not want him touching himself. Not in front of him anyway.

He had said he of course wouldn't forbid it, but he had said that he would not allow him to touch himself in front of him, that he would have to address him if he had a problem and that he would be glad to help out. But honestly, that was something that was just impossible. Alone the thought sent a new shiver down his body while at the same time he wondered how Snape did this. Not only bringing such intense feelings over him with only touching him, but to remain cool and collected himself at the same time, to remain calm and – just as if nothing happened, as if this wouldn't affect him at all.

For a moment he thought that maybe Snape didn't get aroused because of his body, because of how thin and small his chest and shoulders were, just like if he were a kid instead of a teenager that would be an adult soon. Maybe Snape saw how ugly he was and simply wasn't turned on by such a young looking body. And maybe he … probably … well, most likely he wouldn't meet Snape's standards down there too.

But then he remembered the older wizard's words. He had said he had the most adorable body he ever had seen. But that surely wasn't true, was it? It simply couldn't be true!

But Merlin, the things Snape had done to his body with his hands!

If Snape was able to nearly drive him mad with just touching his nipples, with just touching his upper body, his chest and his stomach, then what exactly would the man cause with his fingers touching him there?

It was impossible to think about and a new wave of heat threatened to consume him while he could feel the squirming and twitching sensation down there again, causing him to nearly groan out with need and frustration. No – he really better didn't think about that, about what Snape would be able to do with his hands down there.

Turning in the man's arms slightly, just to distract himself from this line of thoughts, he placed his hand on the Potions Master's lower arm, feeling the man's hair on his forearm and automatically his fingers began playing with them.

Nearly startled Snape lifted his eyebrow the moment he felt Potter playing with the hair on his forearm. What in Merlin's name had the brat in mind?

He knew that the brat still was hard, he could feel the shivers that every now and then wracked the smaller body he held in his arms and he could feel the brat squirming every so often, and he smirked at the thought of it, waiting if the teen would address him or not.

But then – knowing the damn brat's history – he most likely would not. He surely would not.

They were laying there since at least half an hour, and honestly, his own erection was about to kill him, but he too would not address the boy with it, not while knowing what that damn muggle had done. The trust Potter had in him was still too fragile, to thin and too new for such an action and he would destroy it if he said anything right now.

He just would have to endure it – what wasn't so bad anyway, honestly – and to take a cold shower later on. It had been a long time since he had felt such arousal that lingered on and on, that tortured him, and so – well, no – it really wasn't so bad at all.

So he just continued holding the boy that lay in front of him, playing with the hair on his lower arm he had placed around the teen's chest, holding him close to his own chest and he could feel the younger wizard's shoulder blades rising and falling against his own body.

His own body.

He had been so sure that Potter would be disgusted, that he then would make a scathing remark, that he would laugh at him, and that he finally would just leave him. It wouldn't be anything else than the reactions he'd received from others throughout the years after all. He wouldn't have wanted Potter to react in such a way, to leave him, to lose him – not his boy – but it wasn't anything else than he was used to, and it wasn't anything else than he had expected either.

But the boy hadn't.

He couldn't understand why, but neither had Harry laughed at him, nor had he made any funny comments and he hadn't left either. The brat still was there, right here in his arms right now and playing with the hair on his forearm as if it was a normal thing to do, playing with the hair on the forearm of a Death Eater.

Well, yes – Ex Death Eater.

But was that such a difference? He had done horrible things in his life and he knew it. He wasn't a nice person in the first place and he surely had been a bastard towards Harry during the past five years. And neither was he a man that at least had charm or would be good looking. He had absolutely no good qualities. And yet, the brat – his brat – was still laying in his arms and enjoying himself – by playing with the hair on his forearm.

And then there were the emotions he received through the pendant …

The boy definitely was happy right now where he was and he almost could see the boy smiling, had he not had his back turned towards him.

But then …

Remembering the relief he had felt through the pendant earlier, he furrowed his brows.

He had felt this relief the moment he had addressed him verbally. And he had felt this relief coming from his brat before when he – most probably – had recognized that he was pain-free for the first time in a long time. And he knew that it surely had been in a long time. The boy had spent over a week with him while still being slightly injured. And he had spent more than two months with his relatives where he had been beaten, starved and locked away. And before that he had been injured due to his adventure at the ministry.

So, with a silent groan he realized that – most likely – the boy was pain-free for the first time in about three months. Nothing a teenage boy with just fifteen years should have experienced.

"When had been the last time you have not felt any pain, Harry?" He asked, turning the boy on his shoulders until he lay on his back and he could see the teenager's face, boring his dark eyes into the green ones that looked at him startled.

"Uhm …" Potter made and Snape growled darkly at him.

"An answer, Harry!" He said firmly.

"Well … dunno … but is it really important?" Harry asked, looking aside.

"It is important to me!" Snape said, grabbing the teen's chin and turning his head so he had to look at him while he eased himself up onto his elbow. The boy's face looked so innocent and he would like nothing more than to lower his head and to again claim this pretty mouth for a deep and breathtaking kiss, but he didn't. This was not the time for such actions. He wanted answers. He needed answers.

"Well, dunno … really." Harry finally answered with a heavy sigh. "I guess since one point or another after the beginning of third year or sometime like that."

"I beg your pardon?" Snape asked his eyes going hard and cold, angry.

"Well, since around the beginning of third year." The teenager repeated unsurely.

"I thought you would have had time to recover from your relatives' mistreatment during your fourth and fifth year as well here at Hogwarts."

"Well … yes …" Potter admitted, blushing again. "But then there was the triwizard tournament back in fourth year and it really hadn't been as easy as it might have looked like. And then in fifth year … well … there … there had been Umbridge and her endless detentions."

"And those detentions had caused pain?" Snape asked confused. "Surely they were not as bad as the detentions I handed out."

"You think so!" Potter nearly snorted. "Your detentions had been a walk in the sunshine compared to hers."

"And that would be why?" Snape asked. That was just ridiculous, Umbridge's detention being harder than his own, it was impossible. He was known as the most evil bastard that lived as a teacher after all and three quarters of the students feared and hated him. Surely the boy was exaggerating.

"Well, because of how she had me writing."

"I thought – writing, compared to hours of scrubbing cauldrons, would not be as harsh."

"Uhm …" Potter made, looking aside again. "Well …"

"Well?"

"You see … I mean … she …"

Snape frowned and slowly, remembering something that he only barely had registered over the amount of the boy's abuse he had discovered last evening, Snape's hand tightened around Harry's wrist, inspecting the back of the boy's left hand closely – and then he gasped.

"Do not tell my, Mr. Potter, that this woman had made you using blood quills!" He growled, unable to deny the surge of protectiveness he suddenly felt, that rose within his chest to a point where he thought he wasn't able to breath, where he thought he might explode at every moment with fury, with rage.

"Uhm … well … I guess … you see … I mean …"

"Yes, I do see." Snape growled furiously, sitting up on the bed and his dark eyes lingering harshly on the boy in front of him. "And I do see that – yet again – you had not felt safe enough to ask an adult for help. Albus would have done something, and Minerva too. Damn, Harry! Even I would have stepped in!"

"I don't know." The boy whispered, sitting up too but not looking at him. "Dumbledore completely ignored me, refused to even look at me. And McGonagall – well, she never cared. She of course cared about our education, yes. But never about other things. And you – well, how should I … I mean … you hated me … and the occlumency lessons … and then … I just …"

Closing his eyes for a moment in frustration Snape inhaled deeply. Of course the boy was right. How should he have been able to address him with that? How should he have known that he indeed would help? That he wouldn't sneer at him with the words that 'life wasn't fair' and he should get used to it?

"I do know that it is a mute point now, Harry, but I would have done something." He finally said. "And if you have any problems or if you are in any troubles, in danger, in pain, or simply unwell, then I expect you to tell me immediately. You are my submissive, you are my junior partner and you are the one I care for. I wish to keep you safe and out of harm's way, what I only then can do if you address me with what ails you. And even back then I would not have ignored you being tortured by this woman."

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

It was nearly two weeks later and during the past few evenings they simply had continued disrobing their upper bodies so Harry could get used to the sensation of being naked in front of Snape, another and much older male. Still nothing else had happened between them, but neither of them did mind that fact.

The brat had gone back to classes, he, Severus, had gone back to teaching, but in the evenings after dinner Harry always went into the dungeons instead of the Gryffindor tower. Well, Snape had known that Harry wouldn't go back to the tower, that he rather would go back to the room of requirement instead, and so he didn't abject allowing the brat in his quarters anyway.

Not to mention that he enjoyed having the brat around.

The teenager still slept in the room he had given him, and surely he wouldn't ask the boy to sleep in his – Snape's – bed anytime soon, but that was alright with him. He had him in the evenings and he had him at the weekends to tease him and to make him blushing – and squirming. And to simply look at him, at his delicious body that made him tortured by his own erection to a point where his fingers nearly trembled, to a point where he had to force his breathing to coming calmly instead of in ragged gasps.

He had continued to not only ensure that the teenager ate enough, but that he also took the nutrient potions, yet the brat still was so painfully skinny and whenever they disrobed in the evenings to simply lay beside each other or to simply touch each other's bare skin lightly, then he couldn't help thinking of how easy it would be to break this thin and already scarred body, of how careful and gentle he would have to be with this boy.

And yet – there was something … he knew that it was too soon, but – well, in the old days, they already would …

His dark eyes fixed the teen that was sitting at the sofa, his feet drawn up to his chest and a book in his hands. A sight that he had gotten quite used to by now.

He knew it was too soon. They were together since only three weeks. But only if they were married he would have guardianship over the boy too until he came of age. Only then he could ensure that he never ever again would have to go back to the Dursleys. Or to any other abusive household, he thought. The boy would be not only his husband, his submissive, but his ward too until the boy was seventeen. Or eighteen in the muggle world, to play it safe.

But three weeks!

On the other hand – in the old days they really would be bonded already. They would have been bonded within the first week. And then … but would he not only startle the boy? The boy surely had his entire life ahead of him and he surely wouldn't want to bond with his old and grumpy Potions Master. He surely would meet a much younger man one day and then …

But he wanted to keep the boy safe. And he wanted to have the boy all for himself. He wanted to keep the boy. The brat. His brat!

Taking a deep breath before he could think otherwise he went over the few steps to the sofa and took hold of the book the teen held in his hand. He marked the edge of the page with a magical signature and then closed it, placed it at the table behind him. He took another deep breath, knowing that maybe this was the end of their relationship, but well – he never had been one to play safe concerning his own life, his spying duty alone was enough proof of that.

So he schooled his face into an unreadable mask and reached out for the boy's hand, pulled him up until they both stood face to face. He looked into the expectant and questioning green eyes the boy looked at him with, and suddenly he knew it was the right thing to do.

"I want to keep you for myself, Potter." He growled darkly, the only way he knew to hide his unsureness right now. "And I want to keep you forever. I want to bind you, heart, soul, core and body, to me."

The brat stood there, shocked for a moment as it seemed, and he already was about to grit his teeth and turn when the younger wizard finally blinked and then opened his mouth.

"You mean … you mean you want to marry me?" The boy asked unbelieving.

"Muggles would call it a marriage, Potter." He growled, his nerves playing havoc with him. "Within the wizarding world a promise such as marriage between two wizards or two witches, is called a bond."

Again there was more than a minute during which the boy just stared at him.

"Then … then you mean … but surely you wouldn't want to …"

"I would not have asked if I would not want to." He growled.

Well, he knew the boy meanwhile and he knew that the boy didn't want to offend him with his hesitancy, but that he simply was unsure and frightened himself, that he didn't understand why someone, anyone, would want to be with him – and for the rest of said ones life no less.

"So you … I mean … you … really …"

"For Merlin's sake, Potter!" He growled impatiently. "Yes, I just asked you if you are ready to bond with your old and grumpy Potions Master. Or in terms you might understand better, I just asked you if you are ready to marry your old and grumpy Potions Master. You do know what I demand of you in that case and …"

He wasn't able to continue his sentence and he didn't get an answer to his question either.

Even before he had finished his sentence Potter had moved and suddenly he had an armful of Harry clinging to him like a leech. The boy simply had thrown his arms around his neck and Potter stood on the tip of his toes to push himself upright, his lips against his, Snape's chapped ones, and he stood frozen. For a long moment he was too stunned to do anything else than blinking in shock.

It was the first time the boy had made such a move by himself and it was the first time the boy made a small sound of disappointment in the back of his throat, a sound that bordered on frustration and suddenly Snape found himself bowing his head and sneaking his own arms around Harry's delicate waist to steady the lubberly young male while he opened his lips and for once allowed Harry to taste him.

The brat's kiss was still innocent and sweet, light as Harry was, naive, inexperienced and full of youth and the taste of simply Harry made Snape wanting more of it, craving it.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

Harry had been startled when Snape had taken the book out of his hands and then had taken his hand to pull him from the sofa, not knowing what the man had in mind. He had looked so serious! And so forbidding! Just like in class!

And still he was so much taller than him, Harry. He always had wished that he were taller and not so skinny, but with Snape – well, ok, with Severus – keeping a sharp eye on his diet, just like a hawk, he sometimes thought, he soon would gain weight, he knew. But still he was much too small for his age. He didn't even reach Snape's chin and he was rather annoyed whenever the man sarcastically pointed out to him that he often rose on tiptoes when he and Severus were discussing something while they both were standing.

Sometimes he even wondered if the older wizard did this deliberately, discussing things with him while standing.

On the other hand, well, he didn't really mind.

He always had known that his partner would have to be older than him. And taller. And somehow he had known that it would be someone the same gender as well, even if he had not consciously known it. It had been there, in his mind, in his being, in his – whatever there was – he simply had known it unconsciously.

And so he didn't really mind now either. He felt safe. He felt cared for. And he knew that Snape would keep him safe with his own life if necessary.

Snape – that man was another enigma.

At first he hadn't been sure if that was what Snape too had wanted. This relationship. If Snape really had been content with this.

But then – since their relationship actually had started, his face sometimes was nearly relaxed and looked more its age than it had before. Before this relationship had started, the man always had been tense and rigid and stiff and he always had looked dark and forbidding, and angry and irate. And he always had looked older than he actually was. He knew that Snape had visited Hogwarts with his parents, that he had been in the same year as had been his parents. And so he knew that Snape was twenty years older than him, in other words – thirty-six now. But he always rather had looked like forty-six.

Well, in some way the man was the same.

The long, black hair was loose, falling freely over his shoulders – or over his face whenever he tried to hide somehow. The proud lines of his nose and high cheekbones emphasized the forceful will behind his black eyes. The dark eyebrows were neither fine nor slender, but significant in their own way and Harry knew well how much the man could express with the slightest raising of only one of them.

Generally spoken, he was not overly handsome, but Harry nevertheless liked him and he could not imagine him in any other way.

He looked into the dark eyes again. Those dark eyes that sometimes held nothing else than cold emptiness, but right now warmth and a fire he couldn't explain.

Had Snape just asked him if he wanted to marry him?

Had Snape, dark and evil and cold dungeons bat that hated Harry Potter asked him if he wanted to marry him? Him? Harry Bloody Potter?

He always had feared that Snape wouldn't want this, that he only did this because …

Because of what?

Snape was no one who would start a relationship with a student he hated just to comfort said student. Snape was no one who would do anything he wouldn't want doing just to spare someone's feelings. He wouldn't …

So … damn – yes!

Of course he wanted to belong to Snape, to anyone, but preferably to Snape, he had learned over the past weeks! What was there to ask?

Without being able to restrain himself he threw his arms around the man's neck, not caring if he startled the normally so guarded and reserved wizard in the act and he could feel Snape stiffen against him, but then the breathing seemed to leave the Potions Master in one huge sigh and Snape wrapped his own arms around his waist, his hands warm on his lower back and it felt nice.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

Severus had not experienced much of this kind of love before.

With Lily, yes. But those occasions had been rare – and long past.

He had seen the cruel and cold kind of love that his parents had shared, that hadn't been love at all but rather hate. And he had seen the harsh and quick love he had shared with some other men, that wasn't love at all either but quick sex and nothing else. He had seen the heartless and sometimes painful love the Death Eater showed towards their partners, that wasn't love at all but a display of power alone, and not the kind of caring power that a top would display towards his bottom, but a power that was uncaring and ruthless – nothing else than power alone.

But he never had seen the kind of love that didn't demand anything but made you giving by free will and suddenly he knew that now, now that this brat offered just this kind of love to him, he knew that he never would let it go, that he never would let Harry go. It might be selfish of him, to demand the boy as his, forever, but he couldn't help.

His arm tightened around Harry's waist as the boy's tongue explored his mouth, tentatively like all of the brat's moves towards him were, and he allowed the moment to endure, moving his mouth against his brat's in the same maddening slowness. But he allowed Harry to dictate how the kiss should go – for once at least.

"And you look to me for guidance of how to love, Potter?" He growled the moment the brat pulled away. "You are such a fool, brat! I am not the one teaching you right now. You are the one teaching me."

A startled shaking of the head that rested against his chest nearly made him chuckling at his brat, but then he grew serious again and he placed his hands on the boy's shoulders and pushed him away a bit so he could look into the green eyes.

He was afraid. He was afraid of what would happen the moment he opened up his heart to this brat and Potter then became disappointed by what he found there. He wouldn't be able to handle it if the boy turned his back on him the moment he had given him everything. As if the boy had read his thoughts he again shook his head.

"Don't you know that this won't happen, sir?" He asked quietly, the green eyes begging. "Don't you know that this isn't about learning anymore? I do want to explore with you, yes. But this here is already more. And yes, Of course I would marry … I mean, bond with you! I want this! I want you!"

"And I still don't know how you could, brat!" Snape growled darkly.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

To be continued

Next time in I just wanted to ask

About emotions more intense than Harry could have imagined

Added author's note

thank you for reading - and yes, I would appreciate it if you took the time to review this chapter, thank you …

Reviews:

to unneeded: I don't think that Dumbles really was so short on choices ... in my humble opinion he WANTED Harry being abused so that he would have control over him the moment he entered the wizarding world ... but I do agree on anything else with you ...

to Deylyn: getting somewhere, but there will be a long way still for them ...

to delia: don't worry, Severus is ways too intelligent to have Dumbles ruling his life, now that he has a reason to fight ...

to Sera: the reason as to why Severus would tell Harry about BDSM while he asked for a basic sex education - I think he had a personal reason, even if not consciously ... and seeing that this could have been done in ten minutes, like you said - then that wouldn't have made a story ... only love and friendship, he ?? then tell my why Ron was jealous of Harry more than once, enough to abandon him ?? I'm not interested in canon, Rowling made the story two-dimensional, from one point of view only, and she addressed the subject of child abuse just to turn it into a laughing matter ... just take the part where Harry pulls the spiders from his socks in his cupboard, because he is used to the spiders in his cupboard - what do you think how many thousands of readers giggled or laughed at that ?? but it isn't funny at all ... I went to town on poor Harry ?? well - he actually didn't get enough food at the Dursleys ... he wasn't loved there, he didn't have a family, he did get his cousin's old clothes ... and he was locked in his cupboard for days ... the only part I exaggerated was his friends - and honestly, Ron had abandoned him out of his jealousy - I'm not so far off here ... and the brave, courageous Harry from the books - such a boy in reality never would have existed after being neglected, taken down and abused by his caretakers for years ...
- 14
- 15
- 16
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

I just wanted to ask