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The Lioness And The Badgers	By : sawahhaych Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Hermione/Cedric Views: 7550 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (Although I am British I am unfortunately not the amazing JK Rowling!). I do not make any money from the writing of this fic.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
Cedric seems to think that finding my dad is a good idea, like it will be a big adventure; I don’t think he understands what it is like for me, not knowing, and can’t understand why I wouldn’t want to know. I can’t really blame him as he has always had both a mother and father, why wouldn’t I want to know mine?

I worry, a lot, about the outcome if I do find him, a swirling mass of emotions most of which are contradictory consume me, throwing me around and spitting me back out more confused and unsure than when I started.

Sometimes I think it would be better just to do nothing, pretend there was no way to find him and to get on with my life as if he doesn’t exist. That is how I got this far in life without constantly obsessing about it, I thought about him a lot when I was smaller, peppered my mom with thousands of questions about him that she couldn’t answer and by the time I was around nine I stopped asking, I wasn’t going to get any answers and I sure as hell couldn’t find him on my own so I pushed it to the back of my mind and didn’t think about it, until Cedric asked about my greatest fear.

I don’t know my father, I know nothing about him, lets for a moment say he is just a muggle, what then? There is absolutely no point me getting to know him since I won’t be able to tell him about the most important parts of my life, where I go to school etc... I wouldn't be able to build a relationship like that, it would just be a painless waste. So there is reason number one to not look.

Number two; He is a wizard, who is to say he isn’t a death eater? It could happen, not all death eaters despise muggles as much as the rest, and he may have let his judgement slip for a drunken one night stand, or he might have joined up with them later, maybe even recently since it seems there are more of them now than previously. I would be putting myself and friends, especially Harry in great danger.

But then he could just be a normal wizard, who’s to say I wouldn’t be trouble for him? I could ruin his life! My mere existence could break up a family if he has one now, I don’t think I could live with being a home wrecker.

Finally it could just be as simple as we don’t get along, we meet, we don’t bond and then we feel that we have to stay in touch even if we don’t like each other because we are blood, then I have to spend the rest of my life resenting myself for getting in touch with him in the first place.

It could be one of a million things that could make this not work, make it painful and pointless, yet only one scenario where we get along and are happy and better for having found each other... Arithmancy has taught me about the science of magic and the muggle world taught me about odds, should I go against the odds on the off chance Cedric is right and this will be a good thing?

“You with me Petal?” Cedric interrupts my musings.

I smile at him gently looking up from the book I have been staring at for the last few minutes but haven’t read. “Sorry.”

Cedric sets his book aside. “If you really don’t want to do this we don’t have to.”

I shake my head. “There are so many reasons I can think of not to try and find him...” I sigh. “But if I don’t try I will go mad with 'what if's'.”

“Big red button?” Cedric grins at me.

I giggle, Cedric has become slightly obsessed with the concept of the big red button. “Something like that.”

Cedric smirks at me. “There isn’t any rush though okay? Once we find the spell we need we don’t need to cast it right away.”

I nod gratefully, he may not understand everything about the situation in my head but he does understand that this is hard for me. “I’ve never really asked what your parents are like?”

Cedric nods and smiles at me. “My parents are...” He stops for a second. “...Hard to sum up. They love each other dearly, no one can contest that, they are unusual in the way they express it sometimes.”

“How do you mean?” I ask curious.

“When they are together and it is a special day or something they act worse than a couple of hormone teenagers, I find it best to keep as far away as possible when that happens, no one wants to catch their parents snogging at the breakfast table.”

I laugh. “At least they are still in love.” I comment.

“Let's see if you say that once you have witnessed it!”

I sigh gently to myself. “Do you think it will upset my mother? Finding him I mean.” I ask, not that I expect Cedric to know the answer, he does not know my mother, hasn’t even met her, although he has indicated his isn’t her biggest fan for making me feel the way I do about myself.

“I think that although you don't want to upset or disappoint your mother that this isn’t something she needs to get involved in, it really isn’t any of her business or anyone else’s, this is about you and what you want and need in your life, no one should dictate that but you.”

I smile and reach my hand across the table to place it on Cedric's in thanks. “I just keep going over and over different scenarios in my head about him, what if it is someone I know? Or someone terrible?”

Squeezing my hand Cedric throws me a sideways smile. “We can only hope that it isn't and anyway as long as we find a spell that isn't going to alert him to your presence then we can covertly check him out before hand.”

I smile at this. “Like in the good old days with fake Moody?” I ask raising my eyebrows.

Cedric grins. “Yeah, you could fake cry and everything.”

I snort at this. “I don’t think that is the impression I want to give my biological father, no matter who he is.”

“Yeah I suppose not... I could cry, but then he might talk you out of going out with a crying Nancy boy.” I giggle again, my fears thrown to the back of my mind to no doubt sneak up on me at a later date.

Looking back down at the book I have been neglecting I skim the pages for a few minutes before coming across passage which mentions different locator spells and their methods. “I’ve got something.” I comment quietly.

Cedric gets up from his side of the desk and comes to crouch next to me, running his finger over the page his lips move silently as he reads, Cedric reaches out for my quill and begins writing down names and books to find the spell we need.

We split the list and go book hunting, once I have my hoard of books I make my way back to the table where Cedric has already returned with his bounty. “This one looks okay.” He says gesturing me to go over to him, I lean down and read the spell, it is very complicated and only has a fifty fifty chance of actually working.

Shaking my head I voice my doubts. “There was one I was looking at in the other book before, it mentioned this book.” I say pulling a small red leather bound tome out of the pile. I flick through the pages finding the spell I want and set the open book in front of Cedric who reads it quickly.

“It isn't perfect, could take a few tries to pinpoint a location...” Cedric trails thinking.

“The ingredients for the potion are easy to find and pretty cheap too.” I comment scanning the list.

The spell we have found is simple but as Cedric has said it is not definitive, using a map you pour a powdered potion on the map and speak an incantation, if cast correctly the map will show any close blood relatives; parents, siblings, grandparents and uncles/aunts, but it wont show cousins or any non blood relatives, it will also only show where they are at the time you cast the spell.

After another hour of looking we settle on the spell we will use, it has it's limitations but is reliable and can be cast numerous times quickly to help make it more accurate.

-xXx-

Two days later I have told my friends what I am going to do, Harry is very supportive but Ron is angry with me for not telling them sooner that the man I call dad isn't my real father. We have also told Cedric's friends who are also being really supportive.

The potion was easy to make and as Cedric shares his dorm with his friends he made it in his room, I could have tried to make it in mine but then I would have had to explain to Lavender and the other girls what it was, which would lead to more questions and no doubt mean the whole school would know what I was doing before the night was over.

“We're all right here with you.” Cedric whispers in my ear as he runs his hands down my arms.

I look up and smile at the people gathered around me, they smile back as I take a deep breath and walk over to the table where we have set up the map.

Max fills Harry in on the spell. “The red dot will be Hermione, blue will be any relatives on her fathers side and the green will be her mothers side.” Harry nods in understanding before reaching out and squeezing my hand gently.

This is it then... this is where it starts, finding my real father... god I really do hope he isn't horrible.

I take a deep breath and scatter the powder on the map whilst speaking the incantation. Nothing happens at first, then slowly a few lights start to appear and we all crowd around the map, I stare at it my eyes roaming too quickly to really see anything.

“That must be your mom.” Harry says pointing at a green dot in my home town.

“There's a blue one!” Max points at a bright blue dot in London somewhere. “It's in the section of London where the ministry is, maybe he works there or something?” She muses.

“That must be your dad, there aren’t any more blue ones.” Cedric says as his eyes finish roaming the paper.

I stare at the blue dot in central London, that's him? Could it be? The spell isn't perfect, it could be a grandparent or a sibling or an uncle or aunt... What if my dad isn’t in the country or if he is dead, it wont show up if he is dead so it might be another relative blinking back at me from London. Why didn't I think this through? The spell is so general that I have no way of knowing who this person is! Why didn't I use a different spell, one more accurate... so what if it takes more time, then I wouldn't have been in this state of confusion.

I am pulled out of my silent berating by Tony. “Where's Hermione?” He asks squinting at Scotland. “There’s a purple dot, but not a red one?”

“Maybe it didn’t work?” I comment staring at the impossible purple light. “The spell to make Hogwarts un plot-able could be messing it up?”

Max once again in her unwavering voice makes the connection we have yet to. “What do red and blue make?” She asks looking me in the eyes.

My mouth opens as if to answer but nothing comes out.
- 14
- 15
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The Lioness And The Badgers