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Void	By : katiecld Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 21192 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to J. K. Rowling and I do not make any money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 1-Empty
- 2-Sear
- 3-Try
- 4-Hold
- 5-Stay
- 6-Start
- 7-Fun
- 8-Dark
- 9-Work
- 10-Ceremony
- 11-Comfort
- 12-Class
- 13-Wrath
- 14-Hate
- 15-Over
- 16-Kiss
- 17-Say
- 18-Mine
- 14
- 15
- 16
Monday rolled around and I spent the whole day avoiding Snape like the plague. He was in a good mood, well a good mood for the surly man's standard yet I couldn't bring myself to take advantage of his calm demeanour like I usually did. I was grateful when he stayed at his desk and left me to do our apprentice lesson in piece once he gave me my work.
The days drifted by one by one, my reluctance to talk to the professor was getting ridiculous. I never spent any time in his quarters anymore except to sleep and I'd even started sleeping in with Neville so I was hardly doing that. The boys both knew something was wrong but after asking me more than a reasonable amount of times they decided it best to just leave me be, I wasn't going to tell them and they knew that. After all, what was I going to say? Hey guys, I slept with my mentor twice, once was bordering rape and the other he didn't even know it was me. Yet he called my name during climax and I don't know how to handle the situation. Yeah that sounded smooth. Worst part was that I wanted to be intimate with him again, I wanted to be close to him in any sense really. When I was near him the pains of my past seemed to fade away a little bit more every time. By Friday I was so frustrated by my own thoughts and the confusing situation that I kept snapping at poor Neville during rounds.
“C'mon 'Mione, what's wrong? You can tell me...” He ended up grabbing me and holding me in a bear hug. My nose crushed against his chest and I struggled to breathe. I mumbled something against the fabric of his hoodie and he laughed before releasing me marginally.
“Air!” I groaned. He leant down and pressed his forehead to mine as he did so often when I was out of sots. We stood there hugging for a while, eyes closed and concentrating on his breathing like he taught me to do. The gentle sound usually settled me but it wasn't working this time and I think he could tell.
“I know something is off, you should also know I'm not stupid. It has to do with Snape right?” He whispered. We started to sway from side to side as though dancing on the spot. I didn't say anything and after a minute or so he just hummed knowingly. “I thought so.” We swayed for a while longer in silence.
“It's just a difficult situation.” I mumbled, not willing to say more than that and he seemed to understand.
“I'm here if you ever wanna talk, love.” I opened my eyes to see his and he smiled gently. Behind us someone cleared their throat. We jumped.
“It's your jobs to stop the students fraternising, not to join them.” I rolled my eyes, wondering just how the dark wizard managed to show up everywhere I was.
“Good evening Professor Snape.” Neville said calmly. Considering their history he was less nervous of Snape than Draco was and they were related. The potions master walked closer to where we were stood, me and Neville's close proximity attracting his attention. Neither of us feeling the need to move apart under his weighty stare.
“Intimacy between staff is prohibited... Outside of personal chambers.” Drawled my mentor. I cocked my eyebrow at him then looked at Neville, he smiled back at me. Snape thought we were lovers, now that was funny but I wasn't going to correct him.
“It won't happen again.” Neville said, I tried not to laugh, he was going along with it. Nodding I looked at Snape.
“If it does you'll be suspended.” Is all the professor said before turning away, as he walked off he stopped. “Oh and Miss. Granger. Assuming you will be bedding with Mister Longbottom again, class tomorrow is at nine, bring your assignment.” Snape disappeared.
“Shit, I forgot my assignment.” I slumped my head forward and Neville started laughing.
“You're not even going to mention the fact that Mr Death Eater thinks we're bumping uglies?” I had to laughed at that, explaining that I didn't care what he thought.
“Right now I'm more worried about my unfinished assignment, seems tonight I really will have to go back to my room.” My heart dropping at the idea.
“It'll do you some good to sleep in your room again 'Mione... It'd also be nice to get my bed to myself.” Neville beamed at me, I laughed.
“Cheeky bugger.”
“As always.”
We finished rounds and I reluctantly went back to my room. Snape was in the lounge when I walked in, he was reading a book intently and I fully intended to walk right past him until he spoke.
“I hope you're not charging him, Miss Granger.” His even voice stated, making me pause.
“Are you saying that I'm unable to sleep with someone without charging them?” I asked, incredulously. Wondering if he really had the audacity. Turing I found him hidden behind his novel, not even able to spot a single black hair around the object. He said nothing. “I can't believe you.” My anger and hurt mixing together in some miserable cocktail.
“I have good reason to enquire.” He droned, flipping a page.
“You're not enquiring shit!” I yelled. “You're just doing what you do every time I start feeling good, you make me feel bad about myself!” The tears spilled from the corners of my eyes, as I sniffed I wiped my face with my sleeve angrily. “You know what?” Moving closer to him and lowering my voice. “I may have charged for sex, but at least I haven't fucked somebody whose almost dead!” Through clenched teeth I spat at him. Bringing up his death eater days was probably the worst choice I could have made, everyone knew the sort of things he was forced to do but they were just that; Against his will. He played the most vital part in the war, only doing those terrible things to help save the world and without him it wouldn't have been possible. Knowing that though I still said it, I said it and couldn't take it back. Frozen, my tears stopped and the familiar icy feeling of horror filled my stomach. Snape lowered his book, his face was set like stone but his eyes spoke a million words. Without looking at me he stood from his place.
“You're fired.”
–
Apparently I had one day to clear my belongings from his chambers. It was over, officially. He'd sent the letter to McGonagall and my contract was to be terminated on Sunday, tomorrow.
“Is this why you were sleeping with Longbottom?” Draco asked as he helped me carry a box through the classroom. “Because you knew you might get fired?” Throwing a stack of papers in the bin I looked at him.
“I told you, we had an argument.” I looked at the plaque with my name on it and sighed. “I was way out of line, Draco. At the time I thought he deserved it but I should know better than to just blurt things out without thinking.”
“Why? What did you say?” Seems he'd discovered a small rubix cube I kept under my desk and had started playing with it.
“I brought up his unmentionable death eater days.” With a plop, I sat at my old desk and thudded my head against the wood.
“Aw man, way to obliterate a relationship Granger.” I couldn't see his expression but could tell he was horrified.
“Yeah I know, I wasn't thinking.” I bounced my head on the surface a few more times before straightening up. “Is Neville upset?” Not really sure I wanted to know the answer.
“Bit of an understatement dear, he's heartbroken.” I groaned and slumped down again. “Oi now, I'm going to miss you too.” When I looked up he was impersonating a puppy, or well, trying to.
“Was nice to know you again Malfoy.” I smiled, he mirrored me.
“You didn't know me then.” His smile was sad for a minute but like me, he shrugged it off. The past was the past. It was Saturday and Draco eventually had to leave me to my own devices to help Mister Mark with stuff. Usually I'd have apprentice studies to do with Snape but since I was fired I supposed I had nothing to do, after several moments of seriously considering moping around for the rest of the day I just decided to go out. Now that I had no obligations to obey any of the professors 'rules' in fear of losing my job, I could go out and revert back to my albeit horrible life before this one. It was all I had now, all that was waiting for me.
I didn't know exactly what made me go, but I ended up back inside the same pub from the other night. I'd glamoured myself to look the same as before as well, not really knowing why I did. It's not like I had to hide anymore, but maybe being someone else for a short time helped the overwhelming surge of emotions that I was still reeling from. Even wearing the same clothes as that other time, I ordered the same drink and sat in the same chair. This time I probably wore a look of total despair. I really didn't want to get drunk but I felt the same need to do so as I usually did, and usually the need won.
“You look out of place.” I jumped, when I turned I expected to see the person who'd uttered those words before. Instead, I saw a man I'd never met, he sat a few stools away from me.
“Not the first time I've heard that.” My smile was somewhat thoughtful as my mind started to replay my previous visit there. Something stung in my chest that I wasn't familiar with. The feeling was quickly replaced with a surge of anger and I didn't know why, it happened so fast I couldn't really register it.
“Well, you don't really look like you want to be here.” The man said again. He was probably in his late fifties, was dressed rather ragged and scruffy but his eyes looked all knowing and glittered in the same way that Professor Dumbledore's used to. It made me sad.
“I don't, huh?” I looked into my glass. Honestly? I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to be anywhere though so I might as well be there. “You're right.” I waved at the bartender and ordered a firewhiskey. My inner voice screamed at my stupidity, I'd resisted for so long it was moronic to give in now but I wanted to drown out the voice of reason. I was so sick of reason at this point, it made me do stupid things. Alcohol made me do them too but at least that I could blame.
Several hours passed by along with several more strong drinks. The older man ended up being more than pleasant, keeping up idle conversation with me but nothing more. By the time two in the morning came around I could hardly see straight and decided, with encouragement from the man, that I should head to bed. He helped me out of the bar.
“Where is home, love?” He gestured around the area. Home? I didn't have a home. Not really. Hogwarts used to be, my house used to be but nothing felt like home anymore. A lump formed in my throat.
“I can make my way.” I slurred and pushed gently off him, steadying myself. “Thanks for helping me out.” A hiccup finished my sentence. Frowning, he didn't seem too pleased at leaving his friend of the night alone, but I smiled and started to wonder off, unsure where I was headed.
–
“Fuck.” I groaned. A stabbing pain throbbed at the back of my head the second I opened my eyes. Several moments went by as my brain tried to make heads of tails of the situation. I slowly sat, not wanting to jar my thumping head too much. “Fuck...” I whispered again, squinting around the room. It looked like a Hogwarts room and I felt instantly at ease knowing that.
“Relax Granger, you're safe.” Malfoy spoke from behind me, making me jump nearly out of my skin and in doing so came another curse word. So Draco was here, that made me relax even further until I realised that I had no recollection as to how I got here. “You called me last night, I have to say I've never seen you in such a state. Not you.” I gulped at his words but part of me was greatly relieved, glad that I hadn't called Severus in my drunken haze.
“Sorry Draco, I don't remember calling you.” I rubbed my thumping temples and he laughed a little.
“To be honest, when I first found you I didn't recognise you. That was some glamour, even when you were drunk you kept it up.” He smiled cheerfully while he wrote whatever he was working on at his desk. I paled. “It was only after you passed out that it wore off, and you passed out right after seeing me.” He laughed again, this time though I saw concern in his eyes. Feeling ashamed and rather dirty, I got out of his bed.
“Please just... Don't ask... Don't tell anyone.” I idly clawed at my bandaged hand, watching him study me out of the corner of my eye. He sighed audibly.
“Hermione... I get it. You were fired and upset with yourself but there was no need for the state you got yourself in...” He trailed off, seeming a little awkward at the emotional pressure in the room. I sat back down on the bed. “You could talk to me you know, I won't judge you.” The way he said it made it sound like he already knew, so I decided to just out with it and tell him.
“It's not the first time I've been like that Draco. Snape found me one night while I was so drunk I couldn't see and asking people for money in exchange for... My body.” I gulped, unable to look at him. “I didn't recognise him, all I remember was him beating the crap out of some guy who was advancing on me, then I threw up on him.” I smiled a little despite the rather horrible story I was telling him. “I don't remember the rest of that night, I woke up in a bed like today though it was my own house. On the dresser was a note and a bottle of hangover potion. I didn't realise it was Snapes handwriting until the next night when he found me again.” I got quieter. “I was pretty much getting raped by someone and I thought I was going to die. He saved me then, too. Took me home and treated my... Wounds.” I didn't need to tell him about the man rubbing salve between my legs. When I finally looked at him, Draco looked pale but thoughtful. I could tell he was shocked, but not as much as I thought he'd be.
“I figured it would be bad.” He started. “You worked with him without batting an eyelid at it, not that I really thought you would judge him or anything but it was different... I didn't really understand it until now. You both have problems and I think you guys complimented each other really well. You weren't concerned about being with him because you'd faced so much worse.” Draco sounded... Wise. He sounded grown up for the first time in, well, ever. I was glad I told him, I hoped I didn't regret it later. “It also explains so much about your behaviour and why Snape used to watch you. I have no idea why but he looked very protective of you, all the damn time.” He ran his fingers through his hair as though he was still considering. “He must care a lot about you. I've never seen him look at anyone the same way he looked at you. He's always in himself, out for himself and about himself. It was strange to see him let someone else in...” I stared at him, utterly baffled.
“What are you on about. He was nothing but annoyed with me all the time for disturbing him or just being around him.” I clarified. “And if he was treating me differently don't you think I would have noticed?” I cocked my eyebrow and frowned at him, I only then realised the question wasn't directed at him but at myself. Draco smiled at me very slightly.
“Hermione, Snape isn't like normal people. He's lived in his own world since he was born, thinking of nobody else but himself all that time. He doesn't want to hurt people, but he's not exactly the sort of person to give someone a job to set them a better life.” He ran his finger around the top of his mug and continued. “He wouldn't put up with anyone unless he really wanted to, you should know that. On top of all that information alone, he let you stay in his personal chambers, Hermione. That has to count for something. The damn teachers haven't even stepped foot in there.” He looked right at me, as though trying to convey the astonishment of the situation through his eyes directly into my skull may make me see his point. A large part of what he said really struck me, he was probably right. He kept me around all this time despite how annoying I was to him all the time, he'd cleaned me up, treated me as nicer than he would anyone else as far as I know and above all that, he gave me patience. Something he wasn't used to giving other people I'm sure.
“If he really cared then why am I here? He didn't even look at me, just fired me without any thought and left me.” My eyes started to burn again and I felt really pathetic at this point. I didn't even know why it hurt so much, specially since my heart broke at the last few words.
“There are many plausible answers to this, Hermione. It could be that he was so hurt by your words after everything he gave you. Or he couldn't handle being so close to another person for so long, or even that he just didn't know how to respond. It could have been anything really. All I know is that no one has seen him since he fired you and it's Sunday night. Mister Mark even said he had to cover his rounds.” A few seconds went by.
“Wait, it's Sunday night?? How long was I out?” I asked, horrified. He checked the clock and looked back at me.
“You called me at about four in the morning and it's now seven in the evening, do the math.” He seemed exhausted. I felt exhausted even after the realisation that I'd been dead to the world for the better part of an entire day. This was all too much, what did I do now? As if reading my mind, Malfoy came and sat next to me.
“You should go talk to him.” He whispered. I just shook my head.
“He won't listen to me, Draco.” I chest hurt and I clawed stronger at my hands. We sat in thoughtful silence for a while before he flicked his wand.
“What ar-”
“I'm calling Neville. You need to tell him what you told me, he's worried sick about you.” My heart dropped at his words but I knew he was right. He'd be hurt enough to know I told Draco first, let alone if I kept it from him and he found out later so I nodded.
–
Neville eventually ran in and hugged me like I'd been missing for about three years. After our conversation, many tears and tissues he seemed more upset than me that I'd done such things to cope. He wasn't disgusted, just heartbroken. He expressed his gratefulness aloud about Snape saving me and giving me a job, he also agreed that the surly man was different around me but never really knew why. I sat on his lap as he told Draco about the time he and I had been caught by the man on our rounds and how Neville suspected the potions master to be jealous. I scoffed.
“Please, this is getting stupid now. Do you really think he's capable of such a petty emotion? He's not a teenager you know. For all you know he could go around fucking random strangers in bars on his nights off.” I kept a straight face, little did they know that's exactly what he did but I wasn't going to tell them that. I also wasn't going to tell them that I'd slept with him, only so much needed saying in one night and I think it was as much as they could handle at the moment. Draco was looking at me and when I glanced back, so was Neville.
“Even if that was the case, 'Mione. Jealousy can strike anyone. It's petty, sure, but if you love someone it's going to rear it's ugly head whether you like it or not, regardless of your age or history.” Neville said, hugging me tighter. I'd told them about why I snapped at Snape and the reason he fired me. Neville was convinced it was Snapes jealousy and Draco was quick to agree. They both sounded like hopeless romantics.
“Wait a second, 'if you love someone'... Are you suggesting he loves me? This is bloody stupid.” I laughed. Even though this was the most messed up conversation I think I'd ever had with anyone, they still made me laugh. When I looked at Draco and noticed he was staring at me, seriously, I gaped. All of a sudden I remembered the alley way, when he'd moaned my name during climax. I remembered him laughing at my god awful jokes, he'd left me food and protected me from myself. He made sure I was comfortable and the corset... He'd assigned it to me to stop my chest pains not as a 'constant form of punishment' as he'd called it. Each one of these things I just thought was him being nice, but as the boys said, when did he ever do anything selfless? Sure they were small things but for him they were like hugging someone, and all those small things put together became one big obvious thing. I couldn't believe those two put it together quicker than I did and they didn't even know the whole story. It must have shown on my face because Draco smiled and raised his eyebrows.
“Ding, ding, ding. She finally sees it!” He pointed at me and laughed. I blushed up to my ears.
“Shut up... Okay so lets say I might be seeing something here, I don't think it's love, and even if it is the 'L' word, what makes you think it's not paternal? I could be like a daughter to him.” I felt mildly sick at my words, fathers don't shag their daughters and they definitely don't think about them when screwing someone else who-just-so-happens-to-be-them-in-disguise. So I knew it wasn't true, but I did have a small point to make, they needed to stop getting so ahead of themselves like love struck girls. I looked at Neville and the look on his face instantly told me that he didn't believe me.
“'Mione, lets say it's not the 'L' word. You still have to see that he obviously cares about you? At least enough to warrant a stay in his 'house' and breakfast in bed.” I laughed.
“I so didn't get breakfast in bed...” I added. He just made a frustrated sound.
“Damn girl, you're so stubbourn!” He growled.
“That's probably why he likes her, she's like him.” Draco laughed at my reluctance to believe any of it. After a while Neville spoke again.
“I tell you what, I'll sign you into the school as my guest for a few days. It'll keep you here, where I can keep an eye on you.” I started to protest when he pushed his finger against my lip to silence me. “It isn't up for negotiation.” He nudged me to my feet and stood up.
“I want you here, too, Hermione.” Draco's voice was small and I realised that even though we'd only known eachother a month or so, we'd gotten closer than I ever thought and I smiled. My light emotion quickly replaced with dread when I asked where my luggage might be. I was supposed to be out of his quarters by now so I didn't know what he did with them. The boys didn't know either, maybe Snape thought I left them behind and trashed it all? No, he couldn't have.
“I'll ask the headmistress, for now you should eat and get some sleep. I'm going to sign you in.” He donned his cloak and went to leave. “Oh and 'Mione? Thanks for not keeping me in the dark.”
He smiled.
I smiled back.
~~**~~**~~
This story is going to get to 10,000 viewings soon! When it does I'll post another chapter. I'm so happy so many people have gotten absorbed in this. I'm really trying here and enjoying the ride!
Keep up the reviews, I love hearing from you guys. :D
GW~
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