Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Forbidden Rapture	By : Marionne25 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 49897 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and am not making money from this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
AUTHOR'S NOTE: CHAPTER EDITED AND REPOSTED
Hello! Welcome both old and new readers. Hope you're having a good week because I am despite that I am truly, truly exhausted.
I like wake up at 6am, practice by about 8am and finish about 1pm and then off to work for until 5pm. DInner is served then at home by 7 and resume to practice by 8 until 1 in the morning. Yes, I'm dying.
If you don't love music as much, don't ever attempt to be a Music Major or you will surely die.
I have 5 piece repertoire and I'm extremely having a hard time with my 2nd Movement Sonata of Mozart. .
Okay. I'm going to stop with my college rants.

Here goes.
WARNING. This chapter contains physical abuse/violence so if you're a little off on that kind of thing, I'm already giving a warning that there will be some in this chapter but bear with me as I cannot exclude it from the story as it is essential and necesarry for the course the story is taking place.
Posting tonight because I'm about to have another long weekend and will delve into practice for the rest of the weekend to prepare for Tuesday's mock recital at school.
I'm dying.

Right. Alright.
Any reviews, questions and criticisms (please be gentle I do not want a heart attack right now but I am always and forever willing to learn).
Sorry for my typos because I sometimes write, edit and post at the midst of ungodly hours. (Okay not an excuse but please bear with me).

I love this story and I just love you all.

Hope you're all well.
Love to hear from y'all.

Lots of love.
xx

PS. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME NOR HARRY.
PS AGAIN. STILL HAVEN'T FOUND ANY GOOD SONG TO HELP ME BE MORE INSPIRED ON THIS STORY ALTHOUGH BEEN LISTENING TO A VERSION OF 'LOVE ME LIKE YOU DO' by Daniel de Bourg as the song is a bit slower than the original disco-like one. Check it on Spotify and tell me what you think if you have time.
PS PS AGAIN. Draco Malfoy (Yeah, tom felton is just so hot) in this week's episode of CW The Flash. Yeahp, I love him there. Hahaha.

'nuf said.
let's go back to the story.

Chapter XIV
“Flight”

“Mother?”
“I’m coming out in a while, Draco.”
“You’ve been there for more than an hour. What’s going on?”
“I said, I’m coming out in a while.”
Two more locks clicked and Draco knew that no matter what persistence he would do, his mother would refuse to open the bathroom door for him.

“Where’s your mother?” a cold voice asked. “What the hell is taking you too long Draco?”
Draco turned to his father who stood behind him in the hallway.
“Mother’s been there for almost two hours.” Draco pointed out. “She’s locked herself inside and won’t let me in.”
Lucius stared at Draco for a moment then walked forward pushing him aside.
“Keep your wand away, Draco.” Lucius said seeing him with his wand at the ready.
Lucius stopped in front of the door and knocked several times.
“Narcissa?”
They could both hear the continuous sound of water from the faucet.
“Narcissa, what’s going on?”
“I’ll be out in a minute, Lucius.” Narcissa’s voice croaked out. “I’m going to follow the both of you. Give me a moment.”
“Mother, you’ve been there too long. What’s going on? Why won’t you open this-“
“Draco, I told you to go with your father-“
“You’ve been in there-“
“Draco, go to your aunt Bella.” Lucius ordered him.
“But father-“
“I said, go to your aunt Bella.” Lucius quietly repeated with his gray eyes glinting.
Draco stared at his father then at the locked door before them.
He kept his wand away when his father stared at it again.
“I told you, something is wrong with her.” Draco angrily said but Lucius only stared at him.
“I don’t have time for this.”
“Something is wrong with mother-“ Draco pointed out angrily banging at the closed door. “And you’re bloody concerned about your stupid little meeting downstairs-“
Lucius looked as if he was ready to hit his son with the staff in his hand.
“Draco, lower your voice down – if they hear you-“
“If they hear me then what?” Draco challenged him. “What father?”
Draco’s eyes momentarily moved towards the snakehead of his wand.
“You’re going to hit me like you do to my mother?”
Lucius didn’t say anything to his son. He looked like he was trying very hard to remain calm and composed.
Draco stared at him with nothing but anger rising inside of him.
“This is our goddamn house but for some reason I feel that we are prisoners inside it!”
“Draco-“ Lucius reached out for him.
“No, don’t touch me!” Draco angrily said shoving his father’s hand away from him.
Lucius’ eyes glinted but he did not say anything nor attempted to hold him again.
“Your aunt Bella is waiting for you downstairs. I’ll deal with your mother. Get out of here.”

Draco look unconvinced and contemplated for a moment if he was going to follow his father.
“If something happens to my mother, it’s on you.” Draco angrily spat before reluctantly turning and angrily leaving the both of them.
“Narcissa.”
There was some silence.
“Narcissa.” Lucius repeated.
He heard the water being turned off.
“Is he gone?”
“He’s gone.” Lucius heavily answered.
There was a moment of silence. Two clicks and the door unlocked itself.
Lucius stood before the door and stared down at his pale faced wife.
He did not say anything despite her disheveled clothes and hair.
“I told you to have yourself checked.”
“I’ve also told you that it’s nothing to be worried about. I’m taking what I need to take. I’m fine.”
Lucius did not say anything. He merely helped her out of the bathroom and back to their bedroom in the two hallways down without a word.
He watched her in silence and despite her pale and thinning figure, he never pushed her to stay at St. Mungo’s Hospital if she did not want to be taken there.
He noticed it – her loss of appetite, her weight loss and her consistent lack of colour and energy to do the things she used to do.
It worried Lucius. But at this time of the war, he could not be distracted no matter the consequence and reason.
“I’ve been told you visited the hospital the other day. What did the Healers say?”
He walked her to their bedroom and helped her settle in their large four poster bed that they barely shared anyway.
Narcissa shook her head.
“You’re still tailing me around, Lucius?”
“I never stopped tailing you around.” Lucius spitefully said. “Now don’t change the subject.”
“I’m fine.” Narcissa snapped at him. “It’s the age taking place.”
Lucius continuously stared at the woman he has been with for the longest of time.
Lucius genuinely loved her. But he loved his ambitions more and nothing is ever really whole when your love story merely began because you’ve been fixed by your family to marry one another.
“What did he say?”
“What did who say?” Narcissa asked as she turned and faced the other side of the bed.
Lucius stared at her back with clenched fists.
“Who do you think I’m talking about?”
Narcissa did not answer.
“I saw the box of vials, Narcissa.” Lucius slowly said. “I know you’ve seen Severus lately.”
“Is he the only Potions Master in London?”
“No.” Lucius answered sitting on the end of the bed. “But he is the only one you would trust with your life.”
Narcissa snorted at him but Lucius ignored it.
“Severus has too much on his plate from the Dark Lord’s orders to engage and trouble himself with tedious tasks like taking care of an old woman.”
“You are not yet that old to be this sick.” Lucius pointed out. He watched her with careful eyes.
Lucius waited for her answer but she did not say anything. He turned his attention to the serpentine end of his wand to keep his mind focus as he was starting to grow impatient with Narcissa’s choice of actions and words at the moment.
“Severus has been.. seemingly engaged with other things outside the Dark Lord’s knowledge. I thought maybe you know something about it since you’ve been seeing him.”
Narcissa did not say anything. She knew that Lucius knew none of what she did but she is also aware that despite that the man has made small and mass mistakes in the past, her husband is not a complete idiot who would not notice the irregularities around him.
Lucius sighed heavily. He shook his head and stared continuously at her.
“If you are unwell, Cissy…” Lucius softly began but when he noticed that Narcissa was taking no notice nor attention to him so he suddenly grew cold.
“Narcissa, if you are unwell, you can tell me. We have everything you would need to make you feel better. Let me find a way.”
She suddenly laughed – a cold and mocking one.
“Freedom, Lucius.” Narcissa whispered slowly looking up at her husband. “Do we have freedom? Can you possibly get me that on a golden platter for two?”
Lucius closed his eyes and gripped the snake head of his staff where he kept his wand.
“Narcissa, are you not glad of the life the Dark Lord has bestowed upon us?” he whispered.
Narcissa did not answer and Lucius knew that this was not going to end well again.
“If you want to make me feel better, take Draco out of this.” Narcissa quietly said. “Leave Draco out of these plans you have. I do not care what you do, I will not stop you. But spare my son – our son.”
Lucius did not say anything. He would never admit it but he knew that he was as helpless as she was.
Narcissa felt him stand from the bed and walked towards the bedroom door.
“We have been bestowed a second chance and good graces by the Dark Lord. I do not understand why you are very ungrateful. I have done my best – my part on all of these to keep you and your wretched protected!”
“I’m being ungrateful?” Narcissa laughed at him. “A good life?” Narcissa muttered back at him. “You mean he spared our lives because Severus requested it to be so!”
Lucius’ eyes flashed in anger, his fists were clenched and shaking at his sides.
He knew the truth in those words but he did not need to hear it over and over again.
Narcissa waited but he seemed too exhausted for the past days to spare an amount of energy arguing with her about things they’ve already done so for so many times over.
“Take an early rest, Cissy.” Lucius said and she heard him open the door. “I have better things to do than pity a woman who has barely ever showed me compassion.”

Hermione hurriedly folded the parchment in her hand and was barely able to seal with inside the envelope when a voice came by the doorway.
“What’s that?” Harry asked leaning against the side of the door.
Hermione turned around and stared at him with the letter in her hand.
“It’s nothing.” Hermione answered. “Just a note.”
“Just a note?” Harry slowly repeated folding his arms and staring closely at her.
His emerald eyes gleamed behind his spectacles that Hermione had charmed and fixed several times in their lifetime already.
“Yeah.” Hermione simply answered standing still by her desk. “Just a note.”
“For who?”
“Ginny.” Hermione simply told him. “Just to answer her letter this morning.”
Harry stared at her and she knew that he was unconvinced.
“I want to see it.” Harry said walking inside their room. “Hand it over please.”
Hermione did not move. She stared as he stood before her.
She had thought that he already left an hour ago for his work at the Ministry as it was a Monday after all. But then she had noticed that he was wearing comfortable non-Ministry work clothes.
“Don’t you have work today?” she asked pointing at his sweater.
“Hermione.” Harry slowly said reaching his hand out. “Hand it over.”
He quietly waited.
“I told Ginny that I’m going to ask you if we can go this Thursday.” Hermione answered handing the envelope at him.
Harry snatched it and tore the envelope open and threw it aside as he opened the parchment.

‘Gin, hope all is well. I’m going to have to ask Harry if we can attend dinner on Thursday. I’m sure we can make time as last Friday’s had been cancelled because Fleur wasn’t feeling well. Hope she is better. I’ll write to you as soon as Harry has an answer. I’ll see you.
‘Mione.”

Harry folded it back and stared at Hermione unblinkingly. He stared at the desk behind her and grabbed what looked like Ginny’s letter. He quickly read through it and it was a simple invitation for the raincheck of Friday’s cancelled dinner at the Weasleys.
“Well?” Hermione asked feeling satisfied and irritated at the same time.
She bent down, picked up her enveloped and smoothened in back on the desk as Harry threw both letters back on the table.
“Well what?”
“Well are we going? Given I don’t have to ask you anymore since you’ve already read it yourself.”
Harry stared at her and could tell the irritation in her voice. He did not say anything.
“I’m not sure.” Harry slowly said. “Depends on Wednesday.”
“Wednesday?” Hermione asked him.
She watched as he stared and tinkered over her things on her small desk as if looking for something.
“There’s a trial on Wednesday.” Harry simply answered. He looked up at her. “Have you forgotten?”
Hermione did not say anything. In her haste and fear in their house, she had barely remembered that there was a trial in two days.
“So what if there’s a trial on Wednesday?” she asked him.
Harry only stared at her. He moved closer her and gently touched the side of her face, moving it around and settling to trace her jawline with the tips of his fingers.
Hermione flinched a little but did not move away nor said anything.
“Nothing.” Harry simply answered her. “Have I told you how beautiful your freckles are up this close?”
“How what-“Hermione’s words were cut short as Harry moved both his hands around her waist. Pinning her against her own desk, he moved and kissed her mouth deeply.
Hermione move against him and could feel his excited manhood getting the better of him.
“Harry, move away – stop it-“
“Come on, ‘Mione. I don’t have work today. Let’s just stay at home and be cozy-“
“Harry, I said move away from it – I’m not comfortable – I don’t want to do this now-“
“You don’t want to what?” Harry asked grabbed her wrists painfully. “You don’t want to what?”
Hermione shivered in fear. She felt his fingers pressing hard around both her wrists and his body painfully pushing her against the edge of her table.
“Harry, please, you’re hurting me again-“
“What, am I not allowed to touch you now?” Harry angrily said. “Am I not allowed to kiss my girlfriend? My own fiancé?”
“Harry, stop it – it’s not helping our situation – please think straight, Harry- let my hand go-“
“What Hermione, you prefer to be touched by him?” Harry suddenly yelled at her, “You prefer to be kissed by him? Is that what this is all about? You prefer him over me? Well guess what Hermione, you’re never going to see him again because I’m going to make sure he dies right where he belongs-“
“Harry, I said you’re hurting me!” Hermione angrily screamed pushing him away from her.
Hermione turned on her heel but Harry was too fast.
“No man is ever – EVER – allowed to touch you again-“ he screamed back at her as he pulled her by the ends of her long hair.
“Harry-“ Hermione yelped as the sharp pain over her scalp overpowered her ability to fight him.
“Not Severus – Not Draco – “ his fingers gripped her hair so hard that Hermione felt as if she was going to lose all the hair she has.
“Harry – this isn’t – you’re hurting me –“
“I WILL NOT ALLOW ANY OF THESE NONSENSE ANYMORE!”
Hermione struggled and with all her remaining strength, she pushed Harry forward and slapped him hard across the face.
Harry’s hand accidentally let her go at his surprise at what she had done.
He stared and his emerald eyes dangerously flashed in anger.
He fell back but he managed to quickly recover from her defense.
“Harry, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to-“
Hermione realized her mistake, but before Hermione could take flight, Harry had suddenly grabbed her shoulder and neck.
Hermione screamed in pain as he took her by the neck and pushed her hard against the wall.
She felt dazed for a moment and thought she was going to black out because of the pain she endured by hitting against the wall.

“Harry!” Hermione croaked out painfully. She tried to grasp him to make him stop but she could barely lift her hands up.
Harry held her by the neck, pushing her hard against the wall and choking her as his fingers dug and pierced her deeper around the neck by the moment.
His warm emerald eyes had gone and had been replaced by a pair of anger and hatred-ridden ones.
His eyes had never gleamed with such anger and jealousy in them.
Staring at her form and remembering her nightly screams of Snape's name on their bed only made his temper even more agitated.
He could almost imagine her in his bed and the years they have spent together – the years Snape had stolen from him.
His fingers pierced her neck painfully and the looked of madness in his face frightened Hermione beyond anything she has endured for a long time.
She struggled and tried to move her hands over Harry’s arm to keep him from strangling her.
“Harry…” she coughed out with tearful eyes. “Harry… no… please… I can’t breathe..”
For a moment, he kept his hand around her neck and was just gazing blankly at her.
And it was when Hermione’s fingertips grazed for the briefest moment at the side of his face did he seem to come back to reality and see what he was doing.
His eyes blinked and flashed in worry when he saw the color fading from Hermione’s face.
“Hermione!”
He quickly let her neck go and she fell forward in his arms.
“Fuck.” Hermione heard Harry mutter in her dazed and almost unconscious form.
“Hermione, can you hear me?” he asked worriedly as he took her in his arm on the floor, shaking her endlessly.
He watched in horror as he stared at the marks around her neck that was from his own fingers and doing.
“Hermione!” he cried out worriedly as he struggled to carry her in his arms, “Hermione, wake up! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry – I did not mean to-“
Hermione coughed and tried to move. Her eyes fluttered open for a moment as she struggled to gain oxygen again.
“Hermione, I’m sorry – can you hear me? ‘Mione? Baby, I’m sorry I did not mean to.”
Hermione barely remembered what happened next as soon her exhausted mind, sore body that lacked oxygen for a moment, slowly gave away to unconsciousness.

Hermione seemed to have calmed down a few hours later since their physically exhausting argument that led to a lot of uncalled for words and actions.
She sat by the fireplace with an open book in her hand but her mind was barely there. She was staring blankly by at the hearth.
She could not believe what she had just learned a few hours ago – the lady of Malfoy Manor was dying.
“Hermione? Are you in here?”
She heard his voice but after tonight’s argument – which was probably one of their biggest – she felt too exhausted to even move her lips.
“Hermione?” Snape called entering their small living room.
His worry faded away from his face and he walked towards her.
Hermione quickly wiped the tears off her eyes and looked up at him but Snape did not miss the action.
“Aren’t you going to sleep yet?” he gently asked her.
Hermione stared and realized that he was already dressed for bed.
“It’s nearly three in the morning.”
“I’m sorry.” Hermione said as she closed her book. “I didn’t notice the time. I’m going to follow.”
Snape gently took the book away from her hands and helped her to her feet.
He pointed his wand to the hearth and the fire slowly died away leaving the room slightly dark for them.
“Hermione.”
“I’m going to bed.” she simply answered and Snape could not argue with her indifference towards him.
“If you want to talk about it, we can talk about it.”
“I don’t want to talk.” Hermione answered as she avoided his gaze. “I’m just really tired today.”
He watched as she grabbed the book back from the couch and began walking towards their bedroom.
After his double-checking their locks and wards, he went back to the bedroom to find her back to him on the bed and the blanket over her shoulders.
It was her usual sign that she did not want to talk to him and that she was sleeping tonight feeling ill against him.
Almost nine months it has been – nine months – since the night of their ambush and it felt for him as if they have gone for years by now.
He had gone from Death Eater to babysitting the only girl of the Golden Trio, to being the most annoying Potions professor who never failed to let her feel how miserable their situation was and into the most spiteful bastard and being on the planet by giving in to his desires just to be her lover.
He deserved more than hell for corrupting her innocence and taking advantage of her and their situation.
He was the one in control of things and he should have done so. And now, there they are at the point of no return just because he had failed to do so.

“Hermione?” he whispered gently climbing on the bed next to her.
He climbed in and pulled the sheets closer to the both of them. He gently placed his hand over Hermione’s waist.
She did not move a muscle but he was sure that she was awake based on her breathing pattern.
He gently placed a soft kiss over her cheek as he reached around to hold her hand.
He found it but just as he was about to take it, she gently moved it away from him and drew a deep breath.
Snape closed his eyes and wondered what he had to do this time to make her feel better.
He had done countless of things in countless of occasions to make her feel better, to improve her mood and generally just to gain her back to him.
“Hermione.” Snape whispered moving himself closer to her and attempting to hold her hand again.
He moved closed and this time, he placed a soft kiss on the spot between her shoulder and neck for which he knew was a weak spot for her.
“Sweetheart, please.” Snape whispered attempting to reach for her hand again.
This time, he was victorious. He hand found it and gently held it without Hermione withdrawing it or protesting against his touch nor his lips at the side of her neck.
“I’m sorry.” Snape gently said closing his eyes and resting his face against her. “I know I should have told you about her.”

Hermione did not say anything. She was wide-awake and there were too many questions inside her mind at the moment for her to feel any sleep at all. But she was too exhausted, too confused, angry and still in shock upon knowing that after all this time, someone knew where they were.

“When you feel better, please talk to me in the morning.” Snape said placing another gentle kiss over her skin before shifting himself closer to her, ensuring there was not even the smallest gap between the two of them.
There was momentary silence and then he heard her sigh heavily. She sniffed back tears.
“Did the red dress come from her?” she softly asked.
Snape opened his eyes and knew that the night was going to be quite long.
“Hermione-“
“I’m asking if all those clothes, the beautiful dresses, shoes, the food we’ve been eating here, the books I’ve been-“
“I’ve bought you all the books you’ve had here.” Snape clarified with enough indignation in his voice.
Hermione did not say anything but he could tell that she was crying silently.
“Is this place hers?”
“No.” Snape answered her. “I’ve bought this place a long time ago.”
Another silence fell.
“Narcissa only supplied half the investment I needed in order to fulfill the required potion ingredients I need to make certain potions for certain clients and Apothecaries.”
“She’s invested a lot then.”
Snape stared at her and could not tell whether she was being sarcastic or otherwise.
“She’s invested on the same ingredients I’ve been using for the potions that kept her alive and well.”
Hermione did not answer to that. She seemed to have lost on commenting anything.
“Does Draco know?” she asked after a while.
Snape’s brow turned up at the mention of the boy. He was just suddenly reminded of another headache.
“No.” Snape shortly answered and Hermione could tell that he did not want to talk about him.
“Should you not tell him?”
“It’s Narcissa’s secret to tell.” Snape simply answered her. “It should have been something between us.”
Hermione suddenly shifted on the bed and Snape sharply looked up at her.
She was looking back at him with her face very red in tears as she had been crying for hours now.
“Hermione-“
“Are you suggesting that I should not have known about it?” Hermione coldly said.
Snape was suddenly alarmed by the look she gave him. She moved about the bed and hastily grabbed her hand from him.
“Hermione-“
“Is that what you’re suggesting? That you should have kept it a secret from me? That it’s something you should be sharing only with her?” she angrily asked.
For a moment, Snape thought she was still angry about him not telling her. Then he realized that she was just jealous that he kept something from her and had attempted to keep it as some sort of bond between Narcissa and himself.
He sighed heavily and gently sat on the bed shaking his head.
“Well?” Hermione asked folding her arms as she sat there waiting for his answer.
Snape stared at her and could not believe that they were arguing at that hour just because she was jealous.
“Come here.” Snape gently said extending his hand to her. “Sweetheart, come here.”
Hermione resisted. She did not move and merely stared at him as if she could threaten him.
“You’re going to be the death of me, Hermione.” Snape muttered under his breath.
He sighed heavily and made an effort to move to her side of the bed. He gently ran his hand over her lap and then towards her folded arms.
“Love, this is nonsense. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you because I wanted to keep it from you. Narcissa only made me promise.”
Hermione stared at him looking as murderous as ever. He was trying so hard not to give in to the slightest grin that was attempting to come out from his face.
“Love.. iIt’s her secret to tell and not mine. I know I made a mistake for choosing not to tell you and I’m already very sorry for it. Why can’t you forgive and see that?”
Hermione stared hard at him. In truth, she wanted to forgive him. In truth, she wanted to hold his hand and stay warm in his arms. In truth, she wanted to just kiss him right now and stay with him after he had dearly and deeply apologized.
“Narcissa is my friend.” Snape assured her gently as he began kissing her hand. “I’m only trying to help her.”
Her brown eyes stared and he knew that she was slowly holding her guard down.
“Just a friend?” Hermione asked slowly.
He stared at her and realized how innocent and forgiving she was - how young she was to be with him. She had chosen to be in a relationship with a man twice her age despite the misgivings they would surely have towards one another.
He realized how easily she got jealous, how easy or light her perceptions her thoughts were, how vulnerable and fragile she was on many things.
“Just a friend.” Snape simply repeated. He didn’t let her hand go and kept gently rubbing its back with his thumb.
“You’ve never had her?” Hermione asked spitefully. “You’ve never kissed her?”
Snape stared at her and wondered where all the thoughts and jealousy were coming from.
He was unsure if he should be happy on seeing her struggle and be miserable over her feelings towards him just because she thinks someone is better than her and someone might actually steal him from her.
“And why would I do that?” Snape slowly said as he moved closer to her and he began kissing her hand in his. This time, he was confident with his gestures.
Hermione began relaxing at his touch and at the soft lips that touched her skin.
“I don’t want you with anyone else.” Hermione simply said and she reached out and touched the side of his face.
Snape closed his eyes as he reveled at the feel of her hand against his skin. Her fingertips moved from his cheek, upward his temple and rested at the fine strands of his lanky hair.
“I will not want anyone else.” Snape whispered. He moved towards her and gently grabbed her to him.
Hermione sighed and opened his arms towards him as he began to gently kiss her hand again, her forearm, the side of her arms, her neckline and jawline.
“Severus.” Hermione gasped as she shivered beneath his touch and kisses.
“Hermione, I would never want anyone else.” Snape said as he rested his body between her legs and gently moved and adjusted himself in position.
Hermione stared up at the black eyes she had come to trust. He inched closer to kiss her but she stopped him.
“Hermione-“
“I want to go back.” Hermione had said her eyes had suddenly turned sad. “Let’s go back?”
He was quiet as he looked down at her.
It has been quite some time now and yet here she was, still thinking and wanting to go back. He had thought that changing her feelings about the boy and giving her everything she could possibly need or want would somehow make her forget them and not want to return.
He did not want to return anymore.
“You are not yet well.” Snape slowly said looking away. He began withdrawing himself from her but Hermione reached for his face.
She placed her hands on either side of his cheeks and made him look at her. There was that woeful shame in his eyes again.
“How long do we have to wait?” Hermione asked him. “How much longer?”
For a moment he just rested himself before her, staring deep into her eyes and not wanting to be anywhere else in the world.
“You already know the answer to that.”
“It’s too long.” Hermione had said and tears began streaking down her cheeks. “It will be too long and by then maybe they’re no longer – what if they forget about me?” she asked fearfully. “What if they no longer remember me? What will happen to me? What’s going to happen then?”
“I will be here for you.” Snape had said. He moved closer and grazed his lips gently to hers.
Hermione sighed and took her hands from his face. She turned her face to the side and moved from him.
Snape felt disappointed but could understand it.
“I want to go to sleep.” Hermione simply said moving him away from her.
Snape stared at her and for moment there was pain and anger in his chest.
“Am I not good enough?” he had asked as he watched her move from him from the bed. “Am I still not enough, Hermione?”
“I don’t want to talk tonight.”
“No, you’re not the only one who has a say on this.” Snape spat at her. “Dammit Hermione, I have feelings too!”
Hermione sharply look back up at him. They stared at one another for what felt like eternity.
“You’re not the one being kept down here for so long. Do not talk to me about your feelings. Because as far as I can remember, I have done everything – EVERYTHING – you have asked of me and you have NEVER considered how I feel about that-”
“Do I not know?” Snape said. “Are you sure I do not know and understand how you feel-“
“If you do so, you would let me out of here!” Hermione angrily said. “You would atleast let me see them even from afar!”
“You know it’s dangerous! I’m keeping you alive – you don’t understand – you’re the one who doesn’t-“
“I know the dangers! I know and I understand but you don’t know how it feels – you don’t-“
“You still do not get it! You still want to go back out there!”
“Because that’s where my parents are!” Hermione angrily screamed at him. She angrily moved on the bed towards him and she began hitting him with her hands.
“Hermione-“
“Because that’s where my friends are! Because that’s where I belong! I should not be there! I shouldn’t even be here in the first place!”
She began crying and hitting him at the same time.
Snape did not defend himself. He let her hit him with her bare hands just like any other time they did this.
She was nowhere near better as he had thought so. She was still at the state where she thought of them, she remembered them and she preferred to be with them.
Will she ever forget about them? Will she ever want just him?
He had sacrificed a lot for the Order already, for the ungrateful spawn of Potter and for her most of all – he had to live with the shame and guilt every single day and still, he was unappreciated and unwanted most of all.
He was always never enough.
“Hermione, you know why you are still here.” Snape softly said, he gently grabbed her arms and embraced her.
Hermione kicked and tried to reach for him but his arms were long enough to keep her from strangling him as he held her in his arms.
Hermione could only cry as his strong arms held her down as he kissed her head.
“Sssh, please.. Please, Hermione.”
“I want to go back.” Hermione cried in defeat in his arms. “I want to go back to them, please.. I don’t want to be here any longer.”
Snape closed his eyes and listened to her plea and cries for hours. He knew that she still wanted to go back but he did not know that it was still this bad.
“You know if you are able to, I will bring you back.” Snape had whispered as he kept her still, rocking her gently backward and forward the bed in his arms to calm him down. “Hermione, you know I will bring you back if I can.”
“I want to die.” Hermione whispered beneath the sound of her tears. “I just want to die.”
“No, no, please don’t say that. Please don’t.. Love, please don’t say that.”
Hermione did not want to live any longer. She wanted out and yet fate did not want to do so.
She had been with him for almost a year now since the ambush. She barely heard news from the outside world. Her feelings might have change for Harry and for her ex-professor, but she still wanted to go back.
She did not want to be kept away from the world. She did not want to be kept away from the people she cared about and love.
“Hermione, please, I’m with you. I won’t leave you. I’m going to stay here with you. I will take care of you.” Snape promised her.
He kept his face buried beneath her sheer locks of brown hair and held her tight in his arms. Her words were usually empty but he did not want to risk losing her at any stupid attempts she might have had in her head.
He held her hand to his and tried his best to keep her still and calm in his arms. He did not want her anywhere else nor wanting to be anywhere else but there with him.
He knew there was going to be risk upon his decisions for the past several months. But he felt as if he was the one who do not foresee being trapped inside it. He had let his guard down when it came to his feelings and now here he was again, the one losing.
“I want to go home.” Hermione whispered holding his hand and silent tears still streaked down her face.
Snape stopped brushing her hand. He moved his lips from her forehead and gently looked down at her. He tried his best to hold back the warm tears that were suddenly threatening to come down from his eyes.
“Are you not home with me?” he softly asked her.
He immediately regretted asking it. He knew he did not want to hear her genuine answer to that.
He was not prepared for her rejection or for whatever she really felt for him.
He knew deep down that despite that they’ve already slept together, despite her sweet kisses, her warm embraces, her sunny laughter in his arms – despite all that – he knew that somewhere inside her she was still confused of her feelings. He knew that she just had no one else to cling into and that if she would ever get out of the place, she still has the possibility of having her feelings for Potter returned.
“Hermione?” Snape softly asked. His chest was heavy knowing that Hermione’s silence was already the answer.
Taking her that night wasn’t really an easy decision but a drastic and hasty one he had to make at that last moment he saw her at the feat of the Order’s defeat.
Healing her that night with the intention of bringing her back and sneaking her back to the Order once it was safe was something he really had in mind.
But fate intervened.
The Urduja Curse that Bellatrix has casted upon that night had severely injured her and had definitely change the course of plan he had in mind for her.
It has been only several weeks or so since her discovery of its depth and he knew it would take time for her to understand and accept their situation that got worse.
Ofcourse he wanted her to be happy and free again. But he couldn’t help but be glad that she was with him – she was the only good thing that fate seemingly paid him for all the sacrifices he had to make.
It pained him to see her like this – not wanting to live any longer or living every day in a place she did not want to anyway. He did not want to wake up every single day seeing her like that but he would also not lie to himself.
He would never admit it to another soul in the world, but deep down he knew that he was glad that the curse took its place and now he had her with him.
“I want to go home.” Hermione whispered after a while. “I want to bring you back with me to tell them.”
Snape did not say anything. But he could tell that her anger was ebbing away by now.
“Hermione-“
Hermione moved and shifted her position and faced him. She placed one arm around him and pulled him closer to her by the neck as she lay on her side caressing his cheek.
Snape closed his eyes at the sensation of her addictive touch.
“I want to go back, Severus. I want to bring you to them. I want them to know about us. I don’t want to hide anymore, I don’t want to keep you from them. I want to tell them.”
He looked down at her and knew she wasn’t lying. If only they could go back. But even if they could, he wasn’t sure he wanted to bring her back to them.
“The curse will take effect if we go back. You know we can’t yet.”
“Can’t you heal it?” Hermione asked hopefully. She held his gaze. “You are a powerful wizard, can’t you heal it?”
Snape looked at her and kissed her forehead. “If I can, I would have done so.” he halfheartedly lied.
“I want to be with you. But not here.” Hermione embraced him and quietly cried in his embrace again.
He tightened his grip around her, not wanting to let her go either.
“I want to be with you, Severus. But not here but in the real world – in our world out there. I want to let them know about you – about us.”
“Someday, Hermione.” he quietly promised her knowing that they were in for a long-shot on that.
“I want to share us to the world.”
His heart was breaking further with her words.
“Look at me.” Snape gently moved her face to him. “Look at me, Hermione.”
She nodded and stared up at his black eyes. The obsidian orbs no longer scared her. They were even comfort to her fears – they were home.
“When the time is right, I promise you we would go back.” his words were quiet and slightly constricted in his throat.
“I will bring you back to them, Hermione. But right now, what is important is that you are alive and you are safe here – and you will keep everyone safe by staying with me. And with me-“
“I am home.” Hermione finished for him. She stared at him and caressed his cheek back.
Snape stared back at those soft brown eyes.
“I am home with you, Severus.”
“I may not be able to give you everything, Hermione. But I will provide you with everything I can.” Snape promised her and Hermione could have sworn that she saw a glimmer of tear flicker at the side of his face.
“Severus..”
“I will give you a home you could have while we wait for the right time. You have a home – you are home with me until the right time comes when you can go back.”
“I don’t want to go back without you.”
“I will be with you then.” Snape promised kissing her gently. “But right now, we live this life. We live together- even just the two of us – our little home, Hermione. Remember that no matter what happens, keep it in your heart that you have a home with me. I cannot promise you that bright future that they can and we both know we can’t live forever..”
Hermione only listened at his words, unable to say anything else – she wanted so much to be in the world again but with him this time.
“But remember that I am here and I am just yours - even just for that borrowed life we have from the gods – I am yours even just for that slight moment in eternity.”

Hermione jerked and suddenly opened her eyes as she awoke.
Her body still felt dreadful from her neckline stung for some reason.
What the hell just happened?
Reaching for her neckline as she tried to recall what had happened, she felt something sticky and could smell some sort of cucumber and vanilla scent on her fingers - wound and bruise ointment.
It took her a while to recall what had transpired and the moment she did, she suddenly felt alarmed and scared.
She sat painfully on the bed and looked around her. She was alone in their room and it was still slightly dark although the light from the outside told her that it was probably a few hours before dawn.
Hermione painfully scrambled off the bed wildly looking for her wand until she remembered that Harry had taken it.
Quietly creeping out of the bedroom, she walked outside and listened to the sounds around her.
“Harry?” she quietly called out. There was no answer. “Harry? Are you in the kitchen?”
It was so quiet in the house that it scared Hermione even more.
She slowly walked around the house and down the hallway leading to their kitchen. It was empty.
Her heart was racing slightly. Was she alone?
“Harry? I’m a little thirsty.” she pretended as she called out for him, listening and anticipating any movement and sound around the house.
“Harry? Where are you?”
Hermione reached their living room and it was empty as well. She was alone in the house.
Where was Harry?
Her heart raced at the prospect that she was alone in the house. Where was Harry? How long was he going to be gone?
But she did not have enough time to think or really comprehend the situation.
Upon realizing that she was completely alone for the first time and might have a spare few more minutes of freedom, Hermione limped back up the stairs to their bedroom with all her remaining strength and dashed into packing her things.
She had grabbed her brown sling bag she always used whenever they went out.
She dashed to their wardrobe and quickly changed from her night dress and into a pair of comfortable sweat pants, she grabbed whatever first clothing material she could get her hands on their slightly messy wardrobe.
Within minutes, she was garbed with her sweatpants, a blouse she wore under long-knitted Weasley sweater and an over-large blue cloak from the stash of clothes by their bedside.
She grabbed her purse that barely had any money in it since Harry had been taking care of every bit of penny and finance since he got her out of the hospital three months ago.
Barely able to properly wear the first pair of shoes she was able to get her hands on, Hermione dashed back to their bedroom and grabbed a couple of parchments and quill and a bottle of ink from Harry’s work desk and dashed downstairs as fast as her weak legs could take her.
She reached their doorway and to her utter amazement it wasn’t even locked.
Harry had surely just gone for a while and had the intention of quickly getting back home.
With that thought, Hermione barely had second thoughts on dashing out of the house and scrambling out of the small steps by their door and barely being able to stay steady as she walked then ran as fast as she could the moment she left their lawn and heading god-knows where at that moment in her head.
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Forbidden Rapture