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Lunaticus Book Three: New Moon Rising	By : JBankai89 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Remus Views: 12595 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I gain nothing from this but a way to pass the time.

Chapter List
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A/N: Next update will be August 4^th. See you guys then! ^.^
Chapter Fifteen – Decisions

The next time that Harry woke up, he was in a cabin that he did not recognize, which smelt strongly of dittany.

His body ached, his head felt strangely fuzzy, and it took him a moment to recall everything that had happened.

The Rogues.

The attack.

Remus.

Harry sat up sharply, and immediately regretted it as his entire body screamed at him for making such a sudden movement. He looked around and found that he was in the healer's cabin, a medium-sized space reserved for the ill or wounded. He could smell the distinct scent of over half a dozen werewolves, some familiar, some not, but he could not see them, for a number of movable partitions had been set up around his bed to give him the illusion of privacy.

His abrupt action had roused the person that had been sleeping in a chair next to Harry's bed, and he turned to see Ulrich shaking his head a little as he shook off his sleep, then looked up and smiled at Harry.

“Welcome back,” the dominant said with a warm smile.

“How—how long was I asleep?” Harry asked, blinking hard as he tried to clear his head.

“Not long, maybe a day or so,” Ulrich replied, “our Healers tell us you'll be free to go soon. Your injuries were actually pretty minor—for werewolves, that is—you were mostly just exhausted.”

“Good,” Harry said, “that's—that's good.” He reached for Ulrich, and he closed both of his hands around one of Ulrich's larger ones. A question burned at the back of his mind that he wanted to ask, but he was also afraid to do so. In part because he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, but also because he was afraid how Ulrich might misinterpret his concern. Ulrich seemed to know what he wanted to ask anyway, and spoke up before Harry had the chance to.

“Remus should be fine,” Ulrich said, his voice so neutral and even that Harry could not tell how the beta felt about that one way or the other, “his wounds were healed and we got some Blood-Replenishing Potion into him. Like you, he just need to rest now.”

“Good,” Harry said again, his entire form slumping with relief as he looked down at the thin blanket that covered him, “I—I don't want anyone else hurt because of me.” Harry paused, his gaze shifting back to the large, weather-worn hand clasped between his own, and looked up. “Did we lose anyone?”

Harry felt the bottom drop out of his stomach when Ulrich's expression darkened, and his hand tensed, it gripping onto Harry like he was a lifeline.

“The rogue pack, almost all of them went straight for Alpha,” he said softly, his voice a little hoarse, “I saw Alpha trying to throw off four or five turned wolves while he tried to transform himself, and those still in human form were shooting all sorts of curses at him. They wanted to kill Alpha and take over the pack.

“They got Dreyden, Thomas, and Knox—I don't think you knew them—and a few doms were injured trying to protect Alpha. And—” Ulrich's voice caught, and he looked away.

“Ulrich?” Harry asked uncertainly, “what happened?”

“The idiot, Tavish, he saw what was happening and ran out to help—his upper chest got shredded by an attacking wolf, and Adina came out after him and pulled him out of the way before any real harm could be done, but Alpha...” Ulrich's anguished expression seemed to fade a little as a small smirk took its place.

“What? What happened?”

“He went berserk,” Ulrich replied, his smirk never wavering. “Threatening his pack is one thing, but his mates? I've never seen him so enraged. Tavish and Alpha will be all right, the Healers tell me that there will be no lasting damage, and I've been sort of...given a temporary Alpha position while Alpha recovers. Most of the Rogues have been killed, and those that got away don't pose any sort of threat to us anymore.”

“But...but Alpha and Tavish are okay, right?” Harry asked uncertainly, and Ulrich frowned.

“Tavish will be fine. He'll be scarred, but otherwise he'll make a full recovery. Alpha...our Healers say he will be all right, but we won't know for sure until he wakes up,” Ulrich replied softly, and Harry felt his stomach immediately tie up in knots. Fenrir Greyback was far from a person that Harry would consider a friend, but he certainly recognized that everything he did, he did for his pack. He couldn't help but respect him for that.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Harry asked, and his dominant smiled warmly at him, before he leant in for a gentle kiss.

“You have your own healing to do,” Ulrich said firmly, “focus on yourself for a change.”

“You said I was fine...” Harry pointed out, and Ulrich snorted.

“You will be fine,” he replied, “provided you don't over-exert yourself by playing nursemaid to everyone who was injured in the battle.” Ulrich arched a brow pointedly, and Harry snorted.

“Are all dominant werewolves like this?” he asked, and Ulrich arched a confused brow.

“Like what?”

“Ridiculous mother hens.”

“What, you'd rather I not care that my partner nearly got himself killed...again?” Ulrich asked as he cocked a brow at Harry, and he felt his face grow a little warm at the pointed use of the word again.

“It's not that,” Harry replied, “I'm glad that you care, it's just...I'm fine. I don't need to sit here like a lump when I can help—”

Ulrich cut off Harry's words with a kiss.

It startled him at first, but Harry was quick to relax into it and kiss him back, though it was much more short-lived than he would have liked. As Ulrich pulled back, he subtly licked his lips, as though Harry was some sort of wonderful taste that he wished to savour.

“The best thing you can do right now is sit tight and focus on getting well,” Ulrich said firmly, the no arguments tone clear in his voice. “I mean it, Harry,” he added when Harry did not immediately answer, “be selfish for once, and take care of yourself.”

With a defeated huff Harry slumped back against his pillows and crossed his arms.

“Fine.”

~*~

Despite Ulrich's insistence that Harry was fine, he was still confined to the healing cabin four days later.

Harry stared at the ceiling, an open book propped against the chest, and he drifted, both painfully bored, and anxious to get out of this bloody bed. He felt fine.

He growled as he lay there, his thoughts lapsing back to the night before.

Harry slipped from the sickbed and slipped into his trainers that sat at his bedside. The blackness of the cabin covered his escape attempt nicely, and slowly, he began to tiptoe towards the door.

At least, he thought he was covered.

“Potter,” a gruff voice whispered suddenly, and Harry skidded to a stop.

He turned and saw Alpha standing nearby, his arms crossed awkwardly around the bulky bandages that covered his left arm, swathed across his chest and right shoulder, while a brace encased his right leg from knee to foot. He grimaced a little at being caught, and frowned at the leader, who glared right back.

“If my infuriatingly mollycoddling subs are forcing me to stay here,” he began, his voice little more than a low growl, “there is no way in hell that I'm letting you get away with sneaking off. You need to suffer the overprotectiveness of your mate just like the rest of us. Get your arse back in bed before I put you there.”

“But, Alpha—” Harry began, but Greyback cut him off quickly.

“—no buts. Ulrich has been a royal pain in the arse about your condition, and I'm not about to face his wrath for letting you sneak off. Bed, now.”

Grumbling, Harry stomped back to his bed.

The memory burned in him, and he felt a deep sense of frustration at this incessant mothering. Why was it that whenever he said he was fine, no one believed him?

In addition to the drama of Greyback's apparent sentry duty over the healer's cabin, it seemed as though Ulrich had taken to guarding the outside of it. However, if the argument that Harry had overheard earlier that day was any indication, it was not without good reason.

“Bryce,” Ulrich growled, his voice perfectly clear from the outside of the cabin, “what the hell are you doing?”

“I'm going to check in on Alpha,” the other dominant said innocently.

“Bullshit,” Ulrich responded, “what are you actually doing?”

“Challenging Alpha,” Bryce replied without an ounce of shame in his tone, “he's on the mend, perfect time for me to take him down and run this pack properly.”

“Like hell you are. Alpha's still healing from the attack, I'm not letting you into this cabin, you'll need to get past me first.”

Suffice it to say, Bryce had not managed to get past Ulrich to kick Greyback while he was down, and Ulrich looked perfectly fine whenever he visited Harry, so he supposed that the fights were fairly one-sided.

Harry rolled onto his side, and the book that had lain across his chest tumbled to the floor. He reached down to pick it up, but as he eased back down onto the bed, he caught sight of an envelope on the bedside table. His name was scrawled neatly across the front of it in a familiar hand that he knew very well.

His stomach turning over, Harry reached for it, and his fingers seemed to tingle as he grasped hold of the yellowed parchment envelope. Harry brought it to his nose, and inhaled deeply. It still smelled of him, and Harry shivered a little.

Wait, what am I doing? Harry thought suddenly with a quick shake of his head, and his insides twisted with guilt. Even if he did save my life, I shouldn't be doing...whatever it is that I'm doing right now.

Without reading the letter, Harry crammed it under his pillow, and it remained hidden there for a further seven days.

In that time, Hermione came to the territory often to see how he was, and when Ulrich was not supervising the pack, he was sitting with Harry, or giving Greyback a report on the goings-on in the pack. Remus never came to visit with him, and Harry had yet to work out how he felt about that.

At the same time, both Tavish and Adina visited with the alpha often, and Harry was privy to a side of his leader that he had never expected to see, and it proved to be highly entertaining, if a little mentally scarring.

“Fenrir, for the last time, get back in bed!” Tavish cried, the familiarity of the sub calling their alpha by his name was a little strange to hear, and it was met with an irritated growl.

“Don't you start, Tavish,” he growled, “I feel fine, stop treating me like I'm fucking five.”

“I'll start and go on as long as I damn well please,” Tavish retorted, his tone much more serious than Harry had ever heard it before. “You almost died. You're still on the mend. Would you please lie down and let your body heal? Ulrich has things under control, and he's not about to usurp you—”

“—I know Ulrich won't bloody usurp me,” Greyback snapped, “do I look like an idiot?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“Watch your mouth,” Greyback snapped, “I'm still alpha, I need to—what are you doing now?”

“What does it look like?” Tavish asked, his voice accompanied by a strange sort of shuffling against the floor.

“It feels like you're trying to do push-ups against my chest.”

“I'm trying to force you back into bed, you git,” Tavish replied with an annoyed growl.

“If you wanted to go to bed with me, all you had to do was ask...”

Harry shook himself out of his memories quickly, not keen to relive the sounds of his alpha and friend performing some sort of depraved sex act not ten feet from where he had been lying. It seemed as though at that point Tavish had stopped caring about Greyback overexerting himself, at least.

When Harry brought his mind back to the present, it took him a moment to realize that he was not alone.

“Hey, Hermione,” he said as he sat up a little straighter.

“Hey,” she replied with a small smile. As with every other time that Harry had seen her, it seemed as though she looked even more physically powerful, as she slowly came in to her strength as a dominant werewolf. “How are you doing?”

“If they don't let me out of here soon, I think I might go mental,” he replied at once, and she laughed softly.

“Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad,” she said consolingly, and Harry snorted.

“It's bad. I feel fine but no one will let me out of here. I've tried to sneak off a few times, and I keep getting caught...”

“Who caught you?”

“Alpha the first time, then the matron—Daanish, then Ulrich,” Harry replied, ticking them off on his fingers as he spoke.

“I'm sure Alpha wasn't pleased that you were trying to sneak off,” she said reasonably, and Harry huffed another laugh.

“He's kind of in the same boat as me—all of our partners have turned into ridiculous mother hens, and won't listen to us when we say that we're fine. Ulrich about blew a gasket and literally carried me back in here, and wouldn't put me down until we reached my bed, then he threatened to tie me down if he caught me out of the cabin again.”

“Kinky.”

“You're hilarious,” Harry replied sarcastically, and rolled his eyes. She smiled at him, but didn't answer.

~*~

A further three days after Hermione's most recent visit, the pack's matron, the young male sub named Daanish, approached Harry's bed with a warm smile. Before the attack, Harry hadn't known him particularly well, given that he was one of the mated subs and spent most of his time either in the Healer's Cabin or with his mate, but after his tenure in the cabin, he'd come to find that he reminded Harry a lot of Madam Pomfrey. He was quieter, more reserved, but firm, and even Fenrir Greyback himself shut up and listened when Daanish got on his case about over-exertion, or leaving their sickbeds too soon.

“Well, Harry, I've got some good news for you,” he said brightly as he approached his bedside.

“Does this news involve being allowed to leave this bed?” Harry asked, and he chuckled softly.

“It does, actually,” he replied, “you're perfectly well to rejoin the pack and take up your duties again. Your mate brought some fresh clothes by for you to change into when you're ready to go.” Daanish held out the stack of clothing, and Harry was halfway out of the bed before the matron held up his hand to stop him. “But,” he said firmly, “I want you to take it easy. Your body has healed, but you will find that you will tire easily for the next little while, so if you do not want to end up back here, I suggest you avoid over-exerting yourself. Am I making myself clear?”

“Clear,” Harry said as he accepted the clothes from him, “thanks for taking care of me. Are you releasing Alpha soon, too? I think he's caused about as much trouble for you as I have.”

“Alpha still has some healing to do, but he'll probably be released tomorrow,” Daanish replied with a chuckle, “but his mates are helping me keep him here, I can't say the same for them helping me keep him from overtaxing himself, however.” He arched a suggestive brow, and Harry flushed a deep crimson.

“Yes, I've heard,” Harry replied dryly, “you've got your work cut out for you.”

“You could say that,” Daanish said with a small smile, and lifted his hand in a casual farewell. “I need to see to my duties, Harry. And remember what I said.”

“I will, thanks,” Harry replied, and Daanish nodded as he stepped away from Harry's bed and saw to his other patients.

Harry shed the pyjamas quickly, and pulled on the clothes that Ulrich had left for him—jeans, a grey T-shirt, and a black, fitted jumper. He slipped his trainers on and had taken three steps away from the bed when he faltered, and turned back to it.

His mind awash with uncertainty, he hurried back to it, dug under his pillow, and extracted the worn, creased envelope that Remus had left for him. He regarded it for a moment, his hands shaking a little, but his nerve failed him, and still he found himself unable to open it.

Harry folded the parchment in half and crammed it into his pocket before he hurried out the door.

It was late in the day, but after spending so much time staring at the ceiling of the healer's cabin and little else, the pack territory seemed to be almost overwhelmingly large, bright—and loud.

The volume of the territory was made worse when a steady stream of his pupils began to approach him, their eyes wide with hope.

“Harry!” Gina cried as she rushed forward, “you're better!”

She skidded to a halt just short of Harry, while he laughed at her exuberance.

“I am,” he replied with a small smile, “sorry about having to cut your lessons short, but...”

“Oh, that's fine,” she interrupted while she waved her hand dismissively, “but you're starting them again soon, right? I mean, now that Jade's pups can be handled by the dominants, you won't need to guard her anymore!”

“We'll see,” Harry replied with a short laugh, and Gina beamed at him.

Just as the little girl took her leave, Harry caught sight of a familiar dominant crossing the territory towards him, and he held up a hand as Ulrich approached in an effort to stop him scooping him up like some sort of ragdoll.

“Daanish released me, so you don't need to drag me back there,” Harry said, and Ulrich smirked as he coiled an arm around Harry's waist and drew him close.

“Oh, I know,” Ulrich purred as he leant in to kiss Harry, then nipped lightly at his bottom lip. Someone nearby wolf-whistled at them, and Harry felt his face go rather red, while Ulrich chuckled softly, clearly unembarrassed by his show of affection towards his sub. “There was somewhere else I was planning on dragging you off to.” He rotated his hips against Harry's groin to emphasize his point, and Harry let out a soft groan—it had been so long.

Ulrich did not wait for a proper reply, and instead began to lead Harry back towards the cabins. Grinning, Harry eagerly followed.

Harry fell back against the mattress, and moaned as Ulrich's mouth covered his own in a rough, demanding kiss.

The pair grappled at each other's clothes, and once everything had been shed, Harry grabbed hold of Ulrich shoulder, and pushed at him until he turned and lay down on his back, and Harry was perched on top of him.

“My turn,” Harry murmured, and leant down to kiss him once, while Ulrich grabbed the lubricant from the bedside and handed it to him. He grinned at his sub and folded his arms behind his head while he waited to see what Harry was up to.

“I've always wanted to try this,” Harry said softly as he coated Ulrich's cock with the lube, set the jar aside, then balanced himself on his haunches as he lined up Ulrich's cock with his hole. Ulrich's eyes widened as Harry lowered himself down, and applied just enough pressure for the tip of the dominant's cock to barely breach his entrance, then pulled back. Harry did this a few times before he lowered himself properly onto the almost comically large cock, his calves shaking a little from the strain of maintaining the same position for so long.

Beneath him, Ulrich let out a soft groan of pleasure, and reached out to help Harry keep his balance, until Ulrich was fully sheathed inside him. Harry paused, panting hard, his arse clenching around the delicious sensation of the cock in his arse, and after a moment, he slowly began to move.

Harry bounced in Ulrich's lap, spearing himself on his dominant, while Ulrich grunted and arched his hips to meet him. Ulrich let out a feeble whine beneath him as he groaned and found his release first, then immediately reached out and stroked Harry to orgasm.

Hot, panting, and sticky, Harry rolled off of Ulrich and shifted into the offered embrace. They shared a drowsy, sloppy kiss, and Ulrich quickly nodded off while he continued to clutch onto Harry like he was some sort of oversized teddy bear. As Harry lay there, he felt a creeping sense of frustration overwhelm his post-coital bliss.

Once more, Harry felt content, but again, like something was missing.

I don't miss Remus, Harry thought firmly, I'm just not used to being with Ulrich like this yet, that has to be it...

Frustrated with himself, Harry shifted closer to his mate, and slowly he fell into an uneasy sleep.

~*~

The following morning, Harry woke to an empty bed, and made quick work of bathing and dressing—in the same clothes as yesterday—given that he hadn't worn them for long the day before, and he headed out for breakfast.

After he accepted a bowl of roasted meat, fried eggs, and roasted potatoes from the cooks, he looked around the circle at the other members of the pack tucking into late breakfasts, and his heart fell a little when he saw Tavish snuggled up with Greyback, and seemed to be pressing food on the dominant while they talked softly together.

It was an incredibly rare sight to see Tavish and his mate together like that, and Harry was loath to disturb them, though at the same time he did not relish eating alone. However, he spotted Jade and her wet nurse not too far away, alternating between eating their own breakfasts and tending to the quadruplets.

“Harry!” Jade chirped as he approached, and he smiled at the young mother. “Nice to see you up and about, how are you feeling?”

“I'm fine,” Harry replied with a small smile, “how are the kids? I'm bedridden for a fortnight and they've already gotten so much bigger.”

“Well, you would too if all you did was eat and sleep all day,” she replied with a small laugh.

“True,” Harry said as he tucked into his food, “but if I tried that, I don't think I'm likely to grow anymore—except sideways.”

As the women laughed, Harry scanned the crowd for Ulrich, but his face fell when he didn't see him. In his cursory glance, he also realized that someone else was missing—Remus.

“Hey,” Harry said suddenly, drawing Jade's attention back to him, “where's R—the Omega? I don't see him.”

“Well he left, didn't he?” Jade asked, and blinked at him, as though confused by his question.

“How d'you mean left?”

“I don't know,” she replied with a light shrug, “I remember seeing him talking to Alpha, then he left with an old rucksack. That's all I remember.”

Harry frowned, and his hand fell to the pocket where the untouched envelope still resided. He set aside his barely-touched food, and hurried into the nearby copse of trees, and looked around to make sure he was alone, then extracted the letter from his pocket and slit it open.

He quickly unfolded the piece of parchment, and read the letter. And then a second time, and a third time. The parchment crumpled in his fist as he clutched tightly to it, and he struggled to ignore the way his eyes had suddenly begun to burn.

My Dearest Harry,

I am writing to you now to apologize properly.

I am not trying to apologize for all that I have done to you, there is no excusing my past behaviour, and I see now that there was no chance that I could ever make it up to you.

I apologize now for coming to the territory, and interrupting the life that you have made for yourself here. I see now that I have no part in it, and it was foolish of me to come here and try to force myself back into your life in an attempt to win back your affection.

It was selfish. When you left after I had turned you, I realized just how truly empty my life was without you in it. You brought a spark of life—of joy to my life that I had been sorely lacking for many years. Even without the presence of our bond, I feel it still—

I love you, Harry James Potter.

I do not say this in an attempt to make you feel guilty, or to try once more to wedge myself between you and your new mate. I am simply stating a fact—I love you. I think now that I always will, regardless what changes between us. Even if I never see you again, I will always, always, love you.

I have no greater regret than all that I have put you through, and a hundred eternities in the very depths of Hell would not be enough to make up for what I have done to you. I will not make excuses—there are no excuses. I acted selfishly, and in haste. I did not think of what might happen to you by my actions, I feared only that you would become like me.

I see now that your turning was as inevitable as my feelings for you.

Please know that I deeply regret much of what has happened between us, but those months after the bond had settled and before the trouble started, those were some of the happiest days of my life. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

I wish you all the best, and I hope that you find the happiness that I could not give to you.

All my love,

Remus
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Lunaticus Book Three: New Moon Rising