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The Affair	By : snowblind12 & Lissa Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 55609 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: This fanfic is based off the Harry Potter books which are owned by JKR. I make no money from this fanfic and these characters as well as the Harry Potter books and world belong to JKR!

Chapter List
- 14
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- 16
Thanks again to all who reviewed, fav'd or followed.
As she brushed her teeth and absently looked at her reflection, Hermione couldn't help but think about Draco. She still didn't know how he found her. She had only moved in today. She turned off the bathroom light and climbed into her transfigured bed. It wasn't very comfortable. She would have to go furniture shopping tomorrow. As she stared at the ceiling, she willed herself to stop thinking about Theo and his betrayal. His letter came to her mind. She turned towards the open suitcase on her floor. She could see the letter poking out the side. She rolled to her other side and closed her eyes. Maybe she would read it tomorrow.
Tomorrow came fast. She felt like she had just closed her eyes when the sun so rudely crept into her bedroom and into her eyes. Add draperies to your list. She yawned as she slid out of bed and went to the bathroom before realizing not only did she not have coffee, but she had no coffee maker and no groceries. After a short debate with herself, she decided to take another day off work. In the four years she had owned her business, yesterday had been the first sick day she ever used. She refused to let herself feel bad for taking another.
Since she didn't have an owl, she threw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt and left the apartment. She apparated to her office, leaving Lizzy a note, and then went to the 24 hour grocery store. It was only 6:30 am so the store was empty except for the checkout witch. She grabbed a cart and started working her way up and down the aisles. An hour later her cart was overflowing with not only food items, but a coffee maker, some cooking pots, utensils and cleaning supplies as well. She really had nothing at her apartment. She was starting to regret having left so much behind. She had just restocked the refrigerator a couple days ago and all that food would probably spoil. Theo couldn't make toast, mush less cook himself a meal. Maybe Daphne will cook for him. Hermione felt her stomach drop at that thought. Theo had always loved Hermione's cooking. Maybe he loves her cooking more. He clearly loved her submission more. Stop it, Hermione! She internally scolded herself. She would not let herself wallow in self pity and doubt. You are made of tougher stuff. It's his fucking loss..not yours! Her internal voice said the words with purpose and conviction, her subconscious willing her to believe them.
Once back at her apartment, she put the groceries away and made her first pot of coffee in her new home. It tasted divine. As she sat on her kitchen floor, enjoying croissants with jam, she realized she would probably like living alone. She would no longer have to be on a dinner schedule. She could eat when she felt like cooking or when she felt like eating. She would no longer have to clean up after anyone but herself. She could listen to her music instead of the dam TV. As a matter of fact, she wouldn't even buy a TV.
She had just finished eating when there was a knock at her door. She was thrilled to see Ginny and Susan who had come by to go furniture shopping with her. They spent the morning hitting several antique stores and furniture stores. Within four hours they had furnished not only her bedroom and living room, but had handled the eat in kitchen and rooftop terrace as well. The only rooms she had left were the guest room and dining room. She had bought two beautiful, antique, floor to ceiling bookshelves that looked gorgeous in her living room. One bookcase was situated on each side of the fireplace. The first thing she did was put all her beloved books away.
By 1 pm, the witches were starving and decided they deserved a fabulous meal after all their hard work. They went to a quiet French Bistro in muggle London where they spent the afternoon drinking bottles of wine and feasting on delicious cuisine.
Hermione had grown very fond of Susan over the years. She was tough as nails and cussed like a sailor. She was blunt, but not in a mean way. She cut to the quik of a problem and told it like it was. "All I'm saying is, you can have some revenge, Hermione. Perhaps some hair loss inducing tonic on his pillow? Some itching powder in his boxers? Cockroaches in his cereal?" Hermione laughed, as she listened to Susan's creative musings.
Susan took another sip of her wine before she whispered, "tell the husband, Mione. Adrian Pucey has the right to know his wife is a common trollop. Make the bitch's life miserable."
Hermione shrugged. "I don't know, Susan. I honestly don't care if she's miserable or not. She didn't cheat on me. Theo did. He's the bastard. If it hadn't been her, it probably would have been another."
"Regardless, wouldn't you want Adrian to come to you and tell you if he had found out and you still didn't know?" Ginny asked, with the voice of reason.
Hermione conceded the point. "Yes...yes, Ginny. You're right." She looked from Ginny to Susan. "I'll think about it. Right now, I wish I could just forget about all of it."
When she got home, which wasn't until after 4, she finished arranging her furniture and putting her personal photos and personal items away. It felt good to get them out of the boxes. Her apartment was starting to look like a home.
She walked into her bedroom and realized she had forgotten to buy curtains. She really hated the morning light robbing her of her last hour of sleep. She took a couple pillowcases and transfigured them into curtains. They weren't perfect, but would do until she could purchase a proper window treatments.
She changed for bed and stared at the suitcase. She had put her clothes away in her new dresser, but had left Theo's letter and Draco's owl post in the luggage.
Pulling them out of the suitcase, she sat on the side of her new bed, debating. A part of her wanted to burn Theo's letter and never read it. It would serve him right. But, then she might not ever get the answers that the letter might contain. She wanted to understand why he had strayed. Not that it would make a difference, but it was eating at her to know why. Perhaps she had done something to push him into the arms of another? Perhaps he's just a slimy, scheming snake who never really loved you. She collapsed back on her bed. If that's the case, then why did he marry you? For social advantage maybe? Theo's father had been a Death Eater and the Nott 's reputation had been tarnished after the fall of Voldemort. Perhaps Theo had married her to save his reputation. If Hermione Granger, the golden girl, loved him then maybe... Hermione stopped that train of thought. It was too painful to think he had used her in such a way. That would have meant she was truly blind and naive. The bastard cheated on you for five years, there's no question you're blind and naive. "Stop it, Hermione!" She scolded herself.
She stared at the letter and after another heavy sigh, she opened it. Tentatively, she unfolded it;
My Dearest Hermione,
It is is very hard to put into words what I want to say. I should start by thanking you for opening this letter and reading it. It's probably been in your possession for a couple days before you opened it. I know you so very well, love. That brings me to my second thought. I love you. I know my actions scream something else entirely, but I love you so very much. My world is upside down without you. When I told you that I loved...well, you know what I said in your office yesterday. You need to know, I love you more. Soo much more..If I had it in my power to choose, I would choose you. You are the woman I want to have children with, grow old with...spend my life with.
So, I know you want to know why. Why did I do this to you...to us. Truly, it was temporary insanity that got out of control. When it started, you were working long hours and I was spending a lot of time on my own. That's not a complaint and I'm not blaming you for my failure, but I guess I was lonely. You were fierce, Kitten. I was so proud of the work you were doing at the Ministry. I would not have interfered or pulled you away from the wonderful progress you were making for anything...But, one Saturday afternoon, you were working and I was at the library and I ran into her. I hadn't seen her since about a year before I married you. She and I had a tumultuous relationship at Hogwarts and it continued for about a year after Hogwarts. It was a relief when I finally ended it. But, when I ran into her at the library that day, she was so happy to see me. She had always acted like the sun rose and set with me.
At the time, I think the attraction was simply that she needed me and you didn't. It felt so good to be looked at like I was the most important person in the universe. She had always looked at me that way...and where it had become a turn off and a bore before, leading me to break it off with her, it felt very different to me after having been married to Hermione Granger for two years. My beautiful, brilliant Hermione who needed no one because she took care of everyone else and solved everyone's problems. It was my ego that had missed being stroked that led me astray. I'm ashamed to admit it.
I'm also ashamed to admit that the reason I stayed with her all these years, is because soon after it started, she began threatening to tell you..or tell her husband, which would have amounted to the same thing, if I left her. After my second attempt to end it, she threatened to kill herself. She had always been fragile, but whenever she would feel me start to pull away, she would go crazy and throw around all kinds of threats. I won't lie and say that I contemplated coming clean with you. I never did...because I knew you would never forgive me and you would leave me. You finding out was not an option...ever! So, I kept her as satisfied as I could. Mental fragility and illness runs in her family. Her sister, Astoria as well as her mother all suffer from it to varying degrees. I was always on edge from fear she would do something that would either lead to you finding out, or lead to her coming to harm.
I have been such a fool, Hermione. If I could take back the last five years and do them over, she would have no part in my life. I do love her, but just not the way I love you. I realize I've lost you forever. I know you'll never come back to me, but if by some miracle you find a way to forgive me, even enough to just talk to me, or just not hate me, I'd consider myself the luckiest wizard alive.
I also owe you an apology for neglecting you ... sexually, as well as intellectually. I don't know how many of the journal entries you read, but in the beginning of my affair, when I was the most delusional, I let Daphne guilt me into pulling away from you sexually. After a few months, I pulled away not because of her influence, but because every time I looked into your eyes, I hated myself. Making love to you was painful because the love I saw in your eyes, made me hate myself more and more. I withdrew from you in so many ways. Instead of staying up late debating the merits of a new ministry decree or discussing a book we were both reading, I withdrew to the mind numbing and distracting world of muggle television. I could get lost and not think about anything else. I could ignore and not think about what I was doing, the betrayal I was committing.
I broke it off with Daphne today. I'm finally free of her. She has nothing to hold over me anymore. You've already left. I encouraged her to check herself into St Mungo's for emotional and psychiatric help. I care about her and love her enough to wish her peace and happiness. But, regardless, I never want to see her again. Seeing her reminds me of what a fool I was.
I have soo much more I want to confess, soo much more I want to explain. What was really going through my mind last Tuesday at dinner, for instance. It's just too much to put into a letter and frankly, more than you probably want to know right now. But, I'm here and promise to be honest and forthcoming if you ever want to know more.
Im so sorry, my darling, darling, Hermione. You deserve all the happiness and if you ever need me for anything, I'm here for you. I will always love you, and always want you, even if I don't deserve you. I've boxed up more of your things that you left behind. I know you didn't leave your favorite Gryfindor scarf behind on purpose! Feel free to come by anytime to get them, whether I'm home or not. I haven't changed the locks or the wards. This is still your home.
Yours, now more than ever,
-Theo
Hermione folded the letter and put it in the drawer of her bedside table. On the one hand she was grateful that his letter was so forthcoming, but on the other hand, it could all be bullshit. She would never be able to trust anything he said again. She would think more on it later. The letter didn't make her cry. She was cried out. And, truthfully, she was starting to feel much stronger again. She was already liking living on her own. There was only one thing that would make it perfect, and she planned to take care of that the next day.
The owl post Draco had sent her Sunday evening was still sitting on her bed, waiting to be read. She tore open the envelope.
Granger,
I stopped by your place this evening. I was shocked when Theo told me you had left him. He's a mess and won't tell me anything. He told me to come back in the morning, so that's what I'll do. But, I'm worried about you. Are you alright? He said you were at Potter's. I almost came over there, but thought better of it. Owl me tomorrow. I need to see you and know that you are ok. I'll come looking for you if you don't, Pet. You know I will. Do as I say... -D
Hermione rolled her eyes at his bossiness, but in her heart of hearts she liked his bossiness. It spoke to that same part of her that craved his Dominance when he was with her. But, she wished she didn't crave it. After reading the journals and after everything she had been through, a big part of her just wanted to walk away from Draco , D/s, and anything else that reminded her of Theo. She needed to put all that behind her. Be single, focus on her work and enjoy her friends. She knew she was saying the right thing to herself, but the question was, could she do it? What she felt she needed to do, didn't necessarily match with what she wanted to do.
She turned her light out and closed her eyes. Unfortunately, she had too many thoughts whizzing through her brain to relax. She pieced the time frame together. She left Theo on Saturday. Theo had written his letter to her Sunday morning before bringing it over to Harry's. Draco had stopped by Theo's on Sunday evening only to discover she had left. That's when he sent her the owl. Then, Draco went back to Theo's on Monday and spent time with him before coming to find her. Now, it was Tuesday. It had been three days since she had seen Theo. She hadn't gone more than a day without seeing him in the 8 years they had been together. Strangely, she didn't miss him. As his letter pointed out, he had basically been absent from their marriage for many years. And all those years she had struggled, trying to make it better, thinking maybe she was doing something wrong. What a waste of time and energy. She took a calming breath. She didn't want to be angry. Anger and tears got her nowhere. She was just glad Theo Nott would soon be out of her life. She was done with him. The quicker the divorce, the better.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Gonna be honest, I don't like this chapter. I almost deleted it, but in the end decided to go ahead and post it. I wasn't up for the torture of starting it over..lol. Sorry of it was a let down. It's an important chapter for the sake of getting Theo's letter in. More Draco in the next one :)
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The Affair