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Irreversible	By : Drarry-Lisa Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 3064 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters/things/places created by J.K. Rowling. I make no money from my fan-fiction.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Chapter-15
Pain
It is true that I had always known about young Draco Malfoy and his decision to not follow in his father's footsteps.
There is almost nothing that happens in Hogwarts without my knowledge. So, the moment I entered my office and Severus came to meet me, I looked at him and muttered, "How is Mr. Malfoy?"
Unlike what Harry thinks, it hadn't been a plan on my part to stay away from Hogwarts while children fight in my stead. It had been destiny.
From the very starting, I had known that Harry and Draco were fast friends and that Draco was the one who had stupefied the troll. I had recognized his magical signature in the bathroom.
Severus took me to his quarters and I saw Draco laid on the bed. He was only a child and I understood why he was doing this for Harry even if he himself didn't.
I sat beside his bed on a chair and waited for the child to open his eyes. Severus sat beside Draco, the child's hand in his.
A few moments later Draco blinked at me, his silver eyes still in pain.
"I am sorry Mr. Malfoy. I wasn't here." I said, aggrieved. Harry thinks that I wanted him to fight just because of the prophecy and that according to me Mr. Malfoy was a better solution than Harry himself because I had always been biased towards James and his best friends. The latter is true though the former is false.
I am ashamed to say that yes I did find him an easier solution though I was as tormented my own thoughts then as I am today.
"As well as I can be." The child murmured.
"Mr. Malfoy -" I had started but Draco cut me off, saying, "Just promise me something. You won't let me become a death eater. I will fight Harry's battles but you will ensure that I never become one of them."
"I promise." I had said and I had broken my promise.
I had been unable to stop him from getting the mark.
As long as I breathe, I won't forgive myself for breaking the promise I had given to an eleven year old child.
Draco had smiled a bit before grimacing and closing his eyes once again. I had gone to the infirmary to pay a visit to Harry.
I know that he despises me and that he will always despise me.
This wasn't the only battle that Draco faught and this wasn't the only promise that I had broken and throughout, I had never tried to stop him.
The only thing I had wanted was for him to live happily after the defeat of Tom but I couldn't make that possible too.
Throughout these books, I will cite my experiences and would request you to try to forgive me for what I did and for what I didn't do.
XXXX
Harry is laid on the couch with his head on Draco's lap when the letter arrives. Dumbledore is still in their room. Draco is stroking Harry's hair gently, lost in his thoughts when the owl flies in through the window and drops the letter on his lap just beside Harry's head.
He opens it and starts reading it. As he takes in the hateful words the writer has written for him, Draco's eyes well.
"What's in the letter Draco?" Harry asks him. Draco's fingers tremble and he feels numb. The letter is from Luna's father. He is accusing him of manipulating Harry. He says that Draco deserves worse for trapping his daughter in the cellars. He doesn't know that if Draco had not requested his father to keep the girl there, the death eaters would have killed her or done worse to her. Draco can't even bear thinking about the alternative.
He says that Draco deserves to die painfully, that he is a monster, a beast akin to Voldemort.
"What is it?" Harry murmurs frantically and gets up, knelt on his knees beside Draco.
The letter falls from Draco's hand and Harry picks it up.
Numbly, Draco stares at the fireplace before simply getting up.
At the entryway he is greeted by kind and tormented eyes of Dumbledore. Draco simply averts his face and walks inside his bedroom.
He had never wanted recognition for what he had done. He had only wanted respect and now he just wants the letters to stop.
For the later, it's necessary to get the book published now. He will have to ask Harry to call Granger and Weasley over so that the woman can edit it a bit. Weasley can go through it as well. He should know the truth. He is Harry's best friend after all.
Draco stares at the ceiling after laying down on the bed. It's like he is an animal, to be used and then discarded. It's so unfair. Doesn't he deserve to live peacefully after all he has done for them.
XXXX
Harry crumples the letter and throws it inside the fireplace. Dumbledore's silent steps bring him out of his rage and he turns towards the old man, his lips twisted hatefully.
"Harry, I am sorry." Dumbledore says and Harry snorts, "What good will your apology do now? All this was just a game of chess for you. You and Snape have always taken him for granted. He is like an animal for you who will not utter a word while you slaughter him over and over again. He has only ever done his best for getting your Wizarding world free of Riddle. You didn't care that he was the one crucioed by Quirrel or that he had faught with that snake in the chambers of secrets. He almost died. You - "
"Mine. It isn't yours. "The aged man interrupts him, his eyes wet.
"It has only ever snatched my happiness away from me. How can it be mine?" Harry murmurs, "You could have at least ensured that he is not imprisoned after the battle. They threatened to-"
Harry stops as bile gathers in his mouth. Draco doesn't want him to tell anyone.
"-to" Dumbledore is very still now. He is staring at Harry, dread settled in his eyes.
"You will know when the last book is out along with the others. Please leave now." Harry simply replies and retreats to his room. He is really worried for Draco. How should he make him forget. How will he do so if these letters continue to torment him.
Why don't people stop torturing Draco. They are living in the muggle world now.
" Draco." He murmurs and walks inside their bedroom. Draco is staring at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts. He doesn't even notice Harry enter. His lips are pinched together as if he stopping himself from bursting in tears and his eyes are wet.
Draco stares at him, his eyes so pained that Harry's heart clenches.
"Why do they send such letters? What else shall I do so that they just leave me alone? What is my fault?" He asks Harry.
His voice holds a pain that he has always kept deep inside his heart. Harry walks towards him and sits on the edge of the bed.
It is completely horrifying to watch tears fall from Draco's eyes. Harry's heart clenches and something is stuck in his throat.
Draco wipes his red eyes from the back of his hand and murmurs, "They have no sense of shame. Is this the way?"
It's entirely impossible to watch the blonde crying. Harry's eyes are wet too.
"I didn't ask for anything at all. It was me who saved them and even if I didn't, they have no right to torment me like this. I am out of their hair, ain't I?" He sobs out and Harry just watches him silently.
He doesn't know what to say to make it less painful, to make it better.
To see him in so much pain, it's like it is hurting Harry too. There is an ache inside him.
"I did everything - everything and they call me a monster. They compare me to Voldemort. Is this the way. I did everything I could to destroy the beast. I did it for you, not for them but still I did it didn't I? They want to destroy me. They want to break me." He mumbles. He can't even speak clearly now. His voice is coming out as a whisper and his eyes are red.
Harry's fingers are clenched tightly. Draco's pain - Harry can't see Draco in pain. Even at Hogwarts, Ron would insult Draco and even teachers would scowl at him. It always left Draco sad and depressed.
But Harry has never seen Draco so sad. Draco never cries. He has always been a very strong man. Seeing him break down like this is impossible to digest.
Harry swallows and clears his throat. He doesn't know what to say. Draco doesn't give him an opportunity to say anything though. In the blur of motion, he is up and knelt in front of Harry.
He wraps his arms around Harry's neck and places his wet cheeks on Harry's shoulders, murmuring, "Call Granger and Weasley. We will ask her to edit the book and give it some finishing touches and then we will publish it. At least it will stop the hate mails and howlers."
"Okay." Harry murmurs and embraces his husband.
A few moments later Draco's body starts trembling, signifying that he is crying again.
Harry is sure that Draco has been crying like this ever since they have come here. The only difference is that now he is opening up to Harry.
Harry can only pray that Draco tells him about all the horrors he had faced in that godforsaken prison.
XXXX
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Irreversible