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A Secondary Education	By : Thunderbird Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 27880 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any affiliated characters. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 14
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One more chapter down! We're getting there, people. My reviewers are motivating the hell out of me, so thank you! My goal is to get one more chapter out before Christmas... we'll just see how that goes :)
We've entered the Draco/others part of the story. Hope you're ok with that. Honestly, I'm not, really (Draco is supposed to be with Harry, obvi). Writing this smut felt... weird. But I got through it. I hope you do too. Maybe you'll even enjoy parts of it! Let me know.
Lesson 15: What You’re Built For
“You can stay, if you want,” a voice drawled behind him.
Draco turned, already half dressed, and looked at the muscled brunet who was sitting up in bed, his elbows resting casually on sheet-clad knees.
Jim, he thought the bloke’s name was. Though it might have been John, actually.
“Thanks,” Draco replied. “But I have work in the morning.”
A blatant lie, that was, and they both knew it. But the dark-haired Muggle merely shrugged. “I give great morning head, is all I’m saying.”
That got a laugh from Draco, with the way it was delivered so drily, and with a straight face. He’d earned it. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
And if it weren’t a one-off, he would actually have done that. But it was a one-off, and they both knew that too. So Jim/John smirked, shrugged, and sat there looking generically hot. Not unlike many of the men Draco had been with the past couple of weeks.
He had tried not to stick to type, if only to avoid torturing himself. Tan brunets with light eyes were all well and good, but beauty had many forms, and Draco had explored that as much as he could. Skin tones, body types, hair color, eye color. He’d had a good sampling thus far. But he did occasionally find himself in bed with a bloke who looked vaguely like Harry, and he almost always regretted it in the morning.
Jim/John was like a shadow of Draco’s former lover. Granted, it was a quite buff, arguably prettier version, but he was still a shadow. Yes, his skin was flawless, his face symmetrical, and his body fat percentage some obscenely low number. But he didn’t have Harry’s piercing, knowing eyes or his warm laugh. He didn’t hum with energy the way Harry did. He wasn’t constantly moving, fidgeting, perpetually restless. He didn’t have Harry’s scars or his wisdom. He didn’t have Harry’s brain, and he definitely didn’t have Harry’s heart.
He was just a shadow. So Draco was happy to be gone as soon as possible.
He finished dressing and told the man that yes, he could see himself out. Jim/John didn’t bother asking Draco for his mobile number or offering up his own, the way some others did, and Draco appreciated that. The man was savvy, at least. Not unintelligent. He was even funny and well-spoken. Any man would consider himself lucky to wind up in his bed. Draco knew that.
Not that it made much difference, not to him.
He Apparated home from the alley around the corner from the man’s London flat, appearing with a pop right in the middle of his own study.
“Another late night for you then?” said a voice, and Draco turned towards it. He smirked when he saw who it was.
“Waiting up for me, Uncle? How thoughtful. One might say protective, even.”
Severus Snape snorted delicately. “I happened to be taking a glance on this end of things when you arrived, that is all.”
Draco didn’t believe him, of course. The man had been spending considerably more time in his portrait at Malfoy Manor since Draco had arrived home for the summer and Draco couldn’t help but think that the memory of his godfather was trying to watch over him, though he would never admit as much.
“Your floo chimed earlier this evening. Multiple times. I believe someone is eager to speak with you,” Severus added, which only proved Draco’s point. Clearly the man had been lingering, if he was around to hear all that.
“It’s probably Pansy,” said Draco with a sigh. “She’s invited me to a dinner party and I haven’t yet replied.”
“That’s rather rude,” Severus admonished with a sniff. “Parkinson has always been a good friend to you.”
“Yes, she has,” Draco agreed. “But I think she’s up to something. She’s a bit too insistent that I attend this particular party, when usually she’s not fussed either way. Which makes me think she’s trying to set me up with someone.”
“Ah, well,” Severus said delicately. “Would that really be so awful?”
Considering the person she wants to set me up with is undoubtedly a woman, yes, Draco wanted to answer, but didn’t. He hadn’t yet confided in his godfather the new details of his sexuality. He had no idea how Severus would react to it, if he was honest. And if it somehow got back to his father…
“Apparently it would,” the late Potions master said drily, interrupting Draco’s thoughts. Draco realized he was scowling, and relaxed his mouth into an impassive line. “Does this have anything to do with what you were doing out so late?”
“I was sleeping with someone, if that’s what you’re asking,” Draco said, mostly just to shock him. “But it was a one-off. Not serious.”
“I see. And something serious is that offensive to you, is it?” the man asked, and Draco was surprised to hear that there was actually very little judgment in the question.
“I don’t know,” Draco said honestly. “I haven’t met anyone I like enough to know for sure.”
Granted, he’d been sleeping exclusively with Muggle men he’d picked up at various bars and clubs all over London, so it was never going to be serious. The sex wasn’t completely devoid of connection. He was a graduate of the Harry Potter School of Pleasing a Lover, after all, so he did make the most out of it. No one he had slept with so far went away unsatisfied or unhappier for having been with him. Draco made sure of that. But it was unlikely he was going to find someone in that world that he wanted an actual relationship with.
He’d have to get a mobile, for one thing, because apparently every Muggle had one. It was their version of floo-calling, essentially, their most rapid means of communication. They seemed rather convenient, actually, but Draco was never going to go so far as to obtain one.
“So, then,” Severus said, his tone a bit cautious, “perhaps you aren’t picking the right ones for yourself. Perhaps it would be prudent to allow a friend who knows you well to pick one for you.”
Draco narrowed his eyes at his godfather in suspicion. It wasn’t like him to meddle in these sorts of situations. “What’s it to you, in the end, Uncle?” he asked. “What difference does it make if I sleep around a bit?”
“Draco,” the man said, impatience turning his tone a bit icy, as it often did, “It has been over a year. You are shockingly brilliant, unexpectedly generous, and obnoxiously handsome. It’s about time you found yourself a partner who is worthy of you. Your time is not infinite. So I would think you’d want to stop wasting it.”
Draco stared at the portrait of his godfather in disbelief. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard the man utter words so overtly complimentary before. And advice with regards to his love life? He didn’t know what to make of it.
“I thought you of all people would believe that a life can be fulfilling without a partner,” he said. “There is much about my life I already like. I wouldn’t say I’m wasting it.”
“Life can be fulfilling without a partner,” Severus said, “if one is not interested in seeking a partner. If one does not feel an urge to share their life with another, then the choice is perfectly reasonable. But you want a partner, do you not?”
“I…” He knew the answer was yes. And yet the bluntness of the question had Draco reeling. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
“Then what, my boy, are you doing exactly? Dawdling, it seems to me. But over what? For what purpose?”
Draco didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t very well tell the man that he had come dangerously close to falling in love with Harry Potter and needed a palate cleanser (or ten) in order to get the man out of his system. But he also realized that even if he did tell Severus about Harry, it wouldn’t really be a sufficient answer.
He wanted to move on, and his sexcapades with Muggles was his way of doing that. But it wasn’t really working. It wasn’t doing him any good, really. Nothing lingered; the sex was good but he was left with a bland taste in his mouth after every evening out. There was so much emptiness in it.
He’d thought he could do it the way Harry did: dating around, having a few lovers whose company he enjoyed every now and then. But it never worked out that way. All the men turned out to be one-offs, mostly because after the sex, Draco could never see the point in it continuing if it was never going to go anywhere.
This isn’t really me, is it? He thought. I’m not built for all this. It might have worked for Harry, but it wasn’t really working for Draco.
Maybe it was time he moved on properly, with someone he could actually date in the long run. He wasn’t expecting to find his future spouse right from the off, but maybe, if he explored in earnest, if he was willing to look past being with someone for one night, he could actually start to see a future with someone. That could be good.
Of course, it would mean dating women again. But maybe he could actually do that. Maybe he was ready. There was only one way to find out, really.
“You make an excellent point,” he told the sallow-skinned Slytherin. “I’ll contact Pansy tomorrow, then.”
“See that you do,” said the older man, eyeing Draco carefully as if he didn’t quite believe him.
“Goodnight, Severus,” Draco said to him, with affection. The man harrumphed and said no more, leaving the portrait altogether. Chuckling to himself, Draco made his way to his bedroom.
The manor was dark and empty, but the elves had lit the lamps along the way for him, seeming to have known it would be necessary. He supposed he had had a lot of late nights recently, what with all the sex he was having.
Of course, picking up Muggle men wasn’t all that he had done with his summer so far. He’d been spending time with friends as well, mainly Pansy and her social circle, which also included Greg Goyle, who had married Millicent Bulstrode, and Tracey Davis, the other Slytherin girl from their year besides Pansy and Daphne. Pansy had thrown a little birthday party for Draco, in fact, which featured the aforementioned Slytherins and some other familiar faces from their past as well.
Draco had also been owling with Francesca quite a bit, as she was eager to hear how he was getting on without Harry and he was happy to hear the pleasant accounts of her luxuriating in Italy and the updates to her love life. In fact, he’d just received a letter that morning detailing how Francesca had invited Longbottom to come visit her in July. Draco had written back quickly and hoped to hear an update about whether the Herbologist had accepted the invitation or not.
He was aware that the summer holidays would have been made more enjoyable by Harry’s presence, whether in person or just through writing letters, but Draco had held off on any kind of contact. They had essentially agreed, on the final day of the term, that they would take space, and Draco thought that would be best.
At least he was finding plenty of ways to fill his hours. This dinner party Pansy was throwing would be just one more. He was almost sure she was trying to set him up. He’d seen the glint in her eye when he admitted to her that the fling with his mystery lover had ended over a month previously. She would want to meddle, as it seemed everyone he was close to in his life wanted to at the moment.
Maybe it was a waste of time. If she was trying to set him up, there was a good chance it wouldn’t work out. Draco loathed this sort of scenario normally, making forced conversation while trying to avoid the looming reality that he was somehow meant to hit it off with the person and there were people around watching to see if he had. It wasn’t unlike the experience of having his marriage arranged.
But maybe if he thought of it like an experiment, a testing of the waters to see if a sexual interest in women had returned, then he wouldn’t feel so much pressure. What was the worst that could happen?
***
Pansy was bordering on ecstatic when he accepted her invitation the following morning, which only confirmed his suspicions. He didn’t say anything, however, letting her enjoy, at least temporarily, the illusion that she was pulling one over on him. Because he was just that generous of a friend.
And, though he would never admit it to her, it pleased him that she was so invested in his happiness, even when she was being high-handed about it.
When he arrived at the actual party (fashionably late, of course), Pansy swooped on him immediately, making a show of kissing him on both cheeks and calling him “darling” and telling him how happy she was to see him. In other words, she was in full hostess mode. Draco simply smiled and kissed her back and held out the bottle of wine he had brought.
“Lovely,” she said, handing it off to a house elf before hooking her arm through his. “Come along then. I want you to meet some people.”
“Of course you do,” he said to her, rolling his eyes. She looked at him demurely from under her lashes.
“Why, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Draco, love. I’m just showing you around is all. We have some new faces here tonight and I have no doubt you will want to make their acquaintance. I believe you would find the connection quite… enjoyable.”
“What’s her name, Pans?” Draco asked her in his best no-nonsense tone.
“Lindsey,” Pansy said, tossing him a wink. “And she’s absolutely lovely. So be nice.”
Draco huffed but said nothing. Severus’ words from a few nights ago had stuck with him, and he had decided to come into this with an open mind. Who knew? Perhaps this Lindsey was lovely as Pansy claimed. Maybe they would hit it off splendidly and he would finally find a woman he could be interested in after over a year.
It could happen.
Pansy was sly, though, of course. She didn’t introduce Draco to Lindsey right away. She paraded him around the room first, allowing him to greet those he already knew and a meet a few new faces as well, all Ministry people who Pansy had become acquainted with through her part time work there. It wasn’t until they’d made the rounds and a house elf made sure Draco had a glass of firewhiskey in his hand that Pansy brought him over to a willowy brunette who she introduced as Lindsey Bergeron.
“Lindsey, this is one of my oldest and dearest friends, Draco Malfoy,” Pansy said to the witch, positively beaming. “He’s a professor at Hogwarts.”
Lindsey took him in with warm hazel eyes and held out a hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Draco,” she said.
“You as well,” Draco replied, taking her hand as he tried to place her accent. He thought maybe she was American, though he wasn’t sure.
“Canadian,” she replied with a grin when he asked. “I live in Toronto, but I’m visiting my brother for the summer. He lives in London and works at the Ministry now.”
“You met him earlier,” Pansy told him. “Very briefly.”
“Oh, right,” Draco said, quickly wracking his brain and trying to sort through the whirlwind of faces he’d seen in the last few minutes. He did remember a bloke with darker hair than hers but who sported a similar nose, long face, and same svelte physique. “Kevin, was it?” he ventured.
“Kyle,” she corrected.
“Right. Kyle.”
“Well, I’ll let you two get acquainted, then,” Pansy said to them with a squeeze of Draco’s arm. “I’ve a few more guests to greet.” And she was off before Draco had time to protest.
But no matter. He could make small-talk with this woman easily. She was from another country, after all, and that left many potential avenues for conversation. Not to mention, the woman seemed quite socially graceful, the type of person who carried herself well and always knew what she was going to say next. Draco supposed it was the sort of thing he ought to find attractive. Maybe he would, if he gave himself half a chance.
“So, you’re here all summer? That must be nice. What do you do for work, normally?”
“I’m a Potions researcher,” she said. “I work in a lab on a four-person team, plus one apprentice.”
“I teach Potions at Hogwarts,” he told her, pleased to so easily find some common ground.
She grinned. “Well, I can see why Pansy shoved us together, then. Potions is my life.”
“And mine,” Draco said, finding himself overwhelmingly relieved. The two of them would have plenty to talk about. Even if there was no romantic connection, in the end, Draco always enjoyed talking shop. “Does the lab let you travel for long periods of time like this? Or are you here for research?”
“We’ve just finished a major project that took over three years. I decided to cash in all the vacation time I had built up and take a long break. Though I’ll probably still read and research a lot while I’m here. There’s an incredible library here in London, only a block from St. Mungo’s, which all the Healers use.”
“Sure, I’m familiar with it.”
“Oh, of course,” she said, waving a hand. “Anyway, they’ve given me privileges, which is very nice of them. It will help keep me busy while Kyle’s at work all day. I’m not much for sitting around doing nothing.”
Draco smiled and asked her about what her team was working on, and that carried them all the way to Pansy’s announcement that dinner was served.
“I wish you were here past the summer,” Draco told her as he pulled out a chair for her at the table. She thanked him with a murmur before he continued. “It would be wonderful to have you visit Hogwarts and meet some of my NEWT students. I talk a lot about research labs when giving career advice but seeing as I’ve never worked in one, what I can say on the subject is limited. I’m sure many of my 7^thyears especially would have a lot of good questions for you about what it’s like.”
“It is a shame,” she said, “because I’ve always wanted to see Hogwarts. It’s arguably the most significant school of magic in the world, given its longevity and even its recent history.” Draco assumed by that she meant the war and the final battle that took place on the Hogwarts grounds, though he didn’t ask her to specify. “So many important thinkers and have come from that one place. It’s really extraordinary. Not to mention Harry Potter and the defeat of Voldemort, and all that.”
“Mm,” said Draco, worried he would say too much. He didn’t want to mention that Harry was a professor at Hogwarts now, or really say anything to encourage that line of conversation. It was the last subject he wanted to discuss at the moment.
Luckily, Lindsey was temporarily distracted when an elf asked her if she would prefer red or white wine, and by the time she turned back to him she was content to have moved off the subject.
“Anyway, I’d love to see it, but it’s just not possible with the timing and everything. But, if you have some specific students in mind, particularly ones who are already starting their apprenticeships, I would be happy to talk with them while I’m here. At least I can give the new graduates a sense of what to expect if they want to go the route of working in a lab.”
Draco thanked the elf as she poured him a glass of red wine and then said to Lindsey, “Really? That would be fantastic. I can think of a number of students off the top of my head that would love the opportunity. I could get a group together and maybe we can do an informal tea at the manor with all of them.”
“That sounds perfect,” she said, beaming. “I’m always excited to meet the newest minds in Potions. I thought about becoming a teacher myself, you know.”
And they were off on another subject as Lindsey asked Draco about his experiences as a teacher at Hogwarts. He was happy to tell her about his first year as a teacher and all of the unexpected challenges. He also waxed rhapsodic about a number of students, worried after a little while that he was boring her. But she listened with rapt attention and asked insightful questions, and so he was content to go on.
He did his best to ignore the very pleased looks Pansy was giving him from the other end of the very long table, instead focusing on Lindsey between spoonfuls of cool and flavorful gazpacho. It had been a long time since he’d had conversation so enjoyable and easy. Lindsey was very talkative, never without a subject of interest at her fingertips to discuss. But she was a good listener too and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know him.
Draco could see why Pansy had thought it a good match, what with all their common ground. And Lindsey was quite pretty, but not in a way that was anything like Astoria. And, perhaps most notably, she was only here for a few months, meaning that if they did get involved, there was a natural end date that would preclude them from getting into anything serious, which took the pressure off considerably.
It was good thinking on Pansy’s part. Draco had to give her credit. Now he just had to sort out of he was actually attracted to her or if he was merely taken with her considerable conversational skills. It was hard to determine. It felt like ages since he had considered an interest in a woman. It was like stepping back on old terrain that was only vaguely familiar, having changed somewhat in his absence. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do yet.
His thoughts were cut short, as was Lindsey’s description of her life in Toronto, when a lanky figure plopped himself down in the chair next to Lindsey’s at the end of the table. The blond and the brunette both turned their heads in that direction to find a dark haired man smiling widely at them – or rather at Lindsey, more specifically.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” the man said. “I saw this seat was empty and I was about to lose my mind over there if I had to hear one more word from Iverson about Ministry oversight of the dragonhide industry.”
Draco looked down momentarily at the table in front of the man to see that he had brought his dinner plate as well as his glass of wine with him to his new seat. Draco suppressed a laugh.
“Well, from what you’ve told me, Iverson loves his soapbox,” Lindsey replied, completely unfazed by the man’s arrival. She turned back to Draco. “Draco, I think you mentioned earlier that you’ve already been introduced to my brother?”
“Oh, of course,” said Draco, nodding at the dark-haired man. “Kyle. It’s nice to see you again.”
“Yeah, you too. Um, Draco? Am I saying that right?”
“You are.”
“Draco’s a Potions professor at Hogwarts,” Lindsey told Kyle.
“Oh, Gods. Well, I guess I’ll be going then. It was nice to meet you.” Kyle grabbed his plate and rose out of his seat as if he were about to take off. Lindsey grabbed his arm and made him sit back down.
“Don’t be an ass. Draco doesn’t know your sense of humor,” she admonished her brother, who merely smiled some more and didn’t look remotely sorry. She looked at Draco. “He was just pretending,” she explained. “He’s not actually this rude, I swear. And he doesn’t hate Potions professors or anything.”
“I just know how my sister gets when she meets a fellow Potions nerd,” Kyle explained. “She’s probably been talking your ear off all night.”
“Only when I haven’t been talking hers off instead,” Draco replied smoothly, giving Lindsey a smile, which was returned gratefully. “But there’s no reason we have to talk about Potions. In fact, Lindsey was just telling me about Toronto. Apparently you lived there as well, up until a few months ago?”
“Yeah. That’s right,” said Kyle. “I was doing Charms development for a private company. I didn’t like it much, though.”
“No?” Draco asked, genuinely surprised. “The work sounds interesting.”
“It would be, in theory,” said Kyle, dropping his goofier façade for the time being and actually looking rather serious. “But the problem with working for a corporation was that it was all about what sells. They wanted me to develop charms that could be applied to products ripe for mainstream consumption. It was all about making money and not much about helping people by creating charms to make their lives easier. I thought I could do both at once, but a lot of my ideas got shut down because they weren’t ‘marketable.’”
“Like what?”
“Like those shoes that help people walk again,” Lindsey chimed in.
“That’s a good example,” Kyle admitted, turning a bit pink.
“What are these?” Draco asked. He hadn’t heard of such a thing.
“I developed a set of charmed shoes that allow any witch or wizard with a disability that affects their ability to walk to be able to walk and run, and to pretty much so anything else, without any trouble or pain.”
“Wow,” said Draco, absorbing that. He’d never given it much thought before. He encountered very few magical folk with disabilities, now that he thought about it. But he supposed there must be some, those who were affected by powerful curses that permanently altered their bodies or minds. And healing magic wasn’t perfect by any stretch. He suddenly remembered Harry mentioned that the arm he’d had to regrow with Skele-gro always got a bit stiff when it was cold. It was likely that those who had to regrow missing legs might have similar challenges, maybe even worse ones.
Kyle shrugged. “My company wasn’t so impressed. It only helped a small portion of the population. Fully abled people wouldn’t reap any benefits from these shoes. It didn’t make them run faster or dance more gracefully or anything. They wanted a wider pool of potential consumers, but I couldn’t deliver. The point of the product was to help people who actually needed it.” He took a deep breath, calming himself. “Anyway, I was already pretty frustrated by that point. That was just one more nail in the coffin. I applied for a patent on my own, and the Canadian government was very interested in subsidizing for use in hospitals as a part of physical therapy. And then they offered me a job in development. I thought maybe it was time I looked into government work. Your Ministry ended up being the one who made the better offer, and I thought, ‘What the hell? I’ve never lived outside Canada before. Could be an adventure.’ And here I am.”
“And here you are,” Lindsey echoed, looking at her brother with unmistakable affection glinting in her eyes. “Literally helps the disabled walk again. Pretty much winning at life.”
Kyle rolled his eyes, blushing. “Let’s not get carried away,” he said.
Lindsey gave Draco a look. “He’s very modest.”
“Clearly,” said Draco, and to his own surprise he gave Kyle a wink. Kyle raised his eyebrows in surprise, but his blush deepened and he looked down at his plate.
He’s bloody adorable, Draco found himself thinking. He hadn’t realized it before now. Kyle was lanky, one might even say gangly, and he was wearing a plaid button-down shirt and sported messy dark hair that both made him seem younger than he probably was. But looking at him more closely Draco could see high, handsome cheek bones, deep blue eyes, and long, agile fingers that seemed perpetually fidgety. Plus his shy, embarrassed smile made Draco’s heart squeeze in a strange way.
Kyle looked up from his plate again to find Draco watching him, and the blush returned. He bit his full bottom lip and Draco found himself doing the same.
“Well, I think it’s amazing,” Lindsey cut in, having no awareness of the small moment that was passing between them. “Changing the world one charm at a time. I can’t wait to see what you do next.”
Kyle broke eye contact with Draco to look at his sister. “Thanks, Lins,” he said. “No pressure or anything, I’m sure.”
Draco chuckled, and Kyle met his eyes again. Draco smiled widely, and he saw Kyle swallow nervously.
Draco felt he could readily assume that Kyle was gay. Or at least very into men. He was getting better at spotting such things, and he really didn’t think the look Kyle was giving him now could be mistaken, though the brunet was clearly trying to hide it.
This was, naturally, an irony fitting for his life at the moment. Of course Pansy would try to set Draco up with a very eligible prospect, only for Draco to find that he was more attracted to her brother. The universe definitely had a sense of humor.
Lindsey was plenty attractive. There was no doubt. She was socially graceful, intelligent, self-possessed, and, to top it all off, very pretty. And she even loved Potions, which was probably the biggest reason of them all that Pansy had thought her a good match for her friend. There was no good reason that Draco shouldn’t find himself drawn to the witch, enough that he would be interested in pursuing something beyond this dinner party, however casual it might be. There was no good reason at all.
Yet as Lindsey asked Kyle to tell Draco about his latest project at the Ministry, Draco couldn’t help but pay more attention to Kyle’s mouth as it moved, to his hands as he gestured, to the way he kept mussing his hair whenever he was thinking of the right word to use. Kyle had vitality and passion that seemed unable to fully contain, and a charming, self-deprecating humor that almost seemed compulsive. It was a bit magnetic actually, and Draco realized he was starting to fantasize about ways to get Kyle on his own.
He immediately checked himself. What was he thinking? Pursuing this particular bloke meant likely offending the sister, the one he was supposed to be set up with, risking outing himself to Pansy, and maybe even putting Kyle in an uncomfortable position he didn’t want to be in. The brunet might have shown some initial attraction to Draco, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be pursued. For all Draco knew, he wasn’t out either. Or he might have a boyfriend.
He sat back in his chair, nodding along to something Lindsey was saying now about the latest human Transfiguration research, glad he had come to his senses before he had accidentally revealed too much. Spending a lot of time in the Muggle world, with Muggle men, had given him the illusion that he was free to be himself here. He had forgotten that he actually wasn’t, not really. He could feel his Malfoy mask slowly slipping into place, both familiar and frustratingly heavy.
He was glad dessert was nearly finished. He suddenly felt tired, the prospect of the next couple of hours seeming like a bit much to bear. Why did he have to feel all this pressure to connect with someone, he wondered bitterly. Why did Pansy have to turn what would have otherwise been a quite pleasant dinner party into a matchmaking endeavor? Why couldn’t he have been left to hit it off with Lindsey on his own, even if it was just as a friend?
And why did Lindsey’s brother have to be cuter than she was? It was extremely annoying.
When dinner was finished guests were encouraged to partake of after dinner drinks and make themselves comfortable in the parlor or back garden to continue to socialize. Draco asked an elf for some brandy to finish out the night and with that in hand he excused himself from Lindsey and Kyle both, citing wanting to visit with the hostess a bit more.
It took a bit of looking around, but he found her in the front hall, saying goodbye to an elderly couple, a longtime connection of her parents, that were calling it an early night. When she turned back and spotted him she looped an arm through his and guided him back down the hall, leaning in close.
“Well, what did you think?”
“I like her very much. I think she will make an enjoyable acquaintance to have this summer,” he said. “A purely platonic one, of course,” he added in reaction to the hopeful glint in Pansy’s eyes.
“Oh, Draco,” Pansy said with an exasperated sigh. “Why?”
Draco shrugged. “I enjoy her company. I’m just not… drawn to her in that way.”
“But she’s perfect for you,” the witch replied, in a tone that was almost bordering on whinging, which Pansy was hardly ever guilty of. “Beautiful, intelligent, into Potions. Don’t think I didn’t notice you two talking a mile a minute to each other over dinner. You adore stimulating conversation.”
“Yes,” said Draco. “But from lovers and friends alike. Just because I enjoy talking to her doesn’t mean I want to sleep with her.”
“She’s only here for the summer. I thought it was perfect. You could at least give it a try.”
“I don’t think so,” said Draco firmly, nearly cutting her off. “That wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I’m not going to start dating someone just to please you.”
They walked in silence for a moment, and Draco could tell Pansy was disappointed in him. But he couldn’t exactly apologize for something that was out of his control. They came back into the parlor and Draco looked around to see that Lindsey, to his relief, had been drawn into a conversation with a bloke Draco didn’t know, and she seemed quite happy there. Kyle was by the large bay window that looked out over the back garden, talking to Theo and another man that Draco recognized as Theo’s business partner.
Good. So they were both occupied. It was for the best, and took some pressure off of Draco to try and continue to entertain them.
“It’s this mystery lover, isn’t it?” said Pansy quietly. “You’re not over her yet. That’s why you’re so resistant.”
“That’s not why,” Draco said, realizing he sounded a bit resigned. He knew Pansy wouldn’t believe him anyway.
“If you’re so attached to her, why are you not with her anymore? Pursue her instead. At least then you would be happy.”
“I don’t see why I have to pursue anyone,” Draco argued. “Shouldn’t I be learning how to be happy alone?” He knew he'd had this same argument with Severus only a few nights previously, but he was feeling stubborn.
She looked at him for what felt like a long time.
“I suppose you have a point,” she said finally.
Draco found himself smiling. He knew how difficult it was for her to admit that. “I know you have my best interest at heart,” he said softly to her. “I know you want to fix anything and everything that makes me even remotely unhappy. But there is nothing to fix. I just have to… find my way. In my own time.” He saw her glance down, taking in his words. “I’m not saying it couldn’t have happened tonight. I came in with an open mind. But Lindsey is simply not what I’m looking for.”
“Do you know what you’re looking for?” Pansy asked him with an arched brow.
She might have meant it as a foil for his argument, but Draco considered the question as if she had asked it in earnest. “I think I’ll know it when I find it.”
“Hmph,” she said. “A convenient non-answer, I might point out.”
“Well, I’m afraid it’s all I have.”
She stared at him a moment more, and then, to his surprise, leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll leave you to yourself, then,” she said. Draco watched her go, unable to help a small prick of guilt in his chest. Perhaps he was being difficult. But he couldn’t seem to help it.
He took a sip of his brandy and looked about the room, trying to decide where he wanted to venture next, what conversation he wanted to join. Lindsey, ever the talker, was animatedly explaining something to her companions, but pausing every now and then to let them speak. Kyle, by contrast, wasn’t talking very much at all, letting Theo and his partner converse easily while he half-listened, looking around the room on occasion. Draco made himself look away before their eyes had a chance to meet across the room.
He saw Tracey Davis speaking with Greg and Millicent, no doubt engaging in the latest gossip, or perhaps reminiscing about their school days, as they were wont to do after a few drinks. That would be an easy conversation to join. He decided to venture in that direction.
He was greeted warmly by his fellow Slytherins. They had been through a lot together, and not all of it good. But they’d always managed to maintain steady friendships through the years. Sure enough, once greetings and pleasantries were exchanged, the group returned to their conversation about another Slytherin they knew, who had been in the year below them, and was now marrying some American muggleborn who her parents disapproved of immensely. Draco wanted to roll his eyes. Did this still count for juicy gossip these days? After the war, after everything, who outside of this tiny sheltered pureblood world really cared about blood status at all?
Thankfully, he apparently wasn’t the only one to hold this viewpoint.
“Honestly, who even cares anymore?” Millicent said. “I know our parents were holdouts, all trying to force us into pureblood marriages. But I can’t help but notice more than half of us rebelled.”
“Or we did what we were told, and it turned out to be a disaster,” Draco said drily, taking a sip of brandy. That earned a laugh from Greg, who understood that this was meant to be humorous.
Tracey eyed him over her glass of sherry. “I spoke with Daphne recently, you know,” she said, in that tone that meant she was about to share something juicy.
“Is that right? Is she still with that Frenchman, Luc? I heard they eloped,” Draco replied conversationally.
“Yes, she’s quite happy, I think,” said Tracey, waving a hand. “But that’s not what we spent the most time talking about. Apparently, her sister is having a bit of a difficult time as a resident of the Zabini estate. Blaise’s mother still lives with them, you know. And you remember what she was like.”
“Intransigent, from what I recall,” said Draco.
“An absolute nightmare, I believe, in layman’s terms,” said Tracey. She looked smug. “Apparently nothing Astoria ever does is up to the woman’s standards. And she’s trying to raise a one-year-old with her mother-in-law looking over her shoulder all the time. Being a new parent is difficult enough, and when there’s no room for error…” She shrugged and took a sip of sherry. “Anyway, Blaise is also apparently gone all the time on business and the girl is stuck in the house with Marianna. It sound like she’s miserable.”
Draco could feel the eyes of all his friends on him as they waited for him to respond. “Hm,” he said finally, his voice carefully neutral. “What a shame.”
This got laughs from all of them. Draco worked to keep a straight face.
“I don’t suppose you’ve spoken to her at all,” Tracey said. “Not that I believe you would, of course.”
“I haven’t spoken to her nor to Blaise since the divorce was finalized. It’s been over a year now.”
“Incredible,” said Millicent. “An entire year gone by and she hasn’t yet figured out how to get along with Marianna. I had Greg’s mother wrapped around my little finger before we even tied the knot.”
Greg put an arm around his wife and gave her an affectionate smile. “Yeah, but we all saw that coming, didn’t we?”
Draco conceded the point with a silent twitch of his eyebrows. By the time Greg had proposed to Millicent it was clear that Fiona Goyle was simply glad her son had found someone. After the elder Goyle was imprisoned for war crimes, the family struggled for a while. Any form of happiness was welcome in that house.
Draco and his parents knew all about that too. But unlike Lucius Malfoy, Fiona had seemed to learn genuine gratitude for her son’s good fortune, and didn’t impose any of her own expectations on them. Most pureblood parents, by this point, would be hinting about children by now. But Fiona seemed content to let Greg and Millicent make that decision on their own time.
Do they know how lucky they are? Draco mused.
“Well, your mother’s a peach,” Tracey said to Greg, echoing Draco’s own thoughts. “Nothing like Marianna. Honestly, what was Astoria thinking, getting involved with Blaise? She should have seen this consequence coming.” Her eyes flicked to Draco again, her expression unreadable. He saw both Greg and Millicent nod in agreement and suppressed a sigh.
He appreciated the loyalty they were showing in taking some enjoyment out of Astoria’s apparent misfortune. He expected himself to feel some enjoyment as well, even just the smallest little bubble of smugness. But he didn’t feel much of anything, really, other than to think that Blaise was handling marriage and fatherhood rather poorly from the sound of it. Had they still been friends, and had Blaise’s wife been anyone other than Draco’s ex-wife, Draco would have written to him to tell him so.
Go home, he would tell his former friend, if he could. Go home and be with your son. Focus on what's important.
He didn’t say any of this aloud, though. He didn’t really think his fellow Slytherins would quite understand. Or they would assume he was simply pretending he wasn’t smug about it, in order to appear the bigger man.
It struck him that this was just the sort of thing he could have safely said to Harry, were he here. The Gryffindor might not understand his concern that Blaise was bollocksing up his marriage, given the way his best mate had betrayed him, but he would pass no judgments. Draco could imagine it easily, the way that Harry would listen with an impassive, perhaps thoughtful, expression, nodding occasionally. Then he would consider what Draco had said silently for a moment, turning it over in his mind. And then he would probably ask a question, a surprisingly incisive one that would get Draco thinking about the situation in a new way. And then Draco would answer, and Harry would listen, and the whole process would start over again.
Draco took a sip of brandy to help him suppress another sigh. He hated these moments, when the odd, unexpected ache of missing someone would pop up without any warning. It was never at times that made sense (All right, perhaps that wasn’t true, since Draco had gone to bed just about every night for the past two months missing Harry, which made perfect sense. But still). These moments crept up on you, stealthy, quiet, before whomping you on the side of the head like a bludger.
He really hated it. But he also knew that time and patience was the only thing that made it better. His divorce had taught him that.
Just keep breathing. In, out, repeat. And if you can, make conversation.
He managed all right for a little while longer with his Slytherin friends, as thankfully the conversation moved off the subject of his ex-wife and into the political sphere, a much safer topic given that everyone in the group thought the current Minister was a dimwit and there was no danger of offending others by abusing him.
But Draco eventually grew weary of that, of all of it, really. He considered making a break for it. It wouldn’t be bad form, would it? He’d stayed through dessert and even some post-dinner small-talk. There was no reason he was obligated to stay longer.
Still, he found himself wandering towards the gardens rather than the front door. Choosing to leave meant making the rounds to say his goodbyes, which, manners dictated, ought to include Lindsey Bergeron. And he just didn’t feel like having that awkward conversation quite yet.
The pathway through the gardens was charmingly lit with an abundance of fairy lights, and it made the surrounding roses, peonies, and gardenias glow as if enchanted. It was enough to make Draco pause and wonder if some charm work was involved.
He found himself a seat on an ornate stone bench, getting comfortable as he leaned back and rested one ankle on top of his other knee. His mother would never approve of such an attitude, believing it too casual (she was big on posture), but he never cared much about this. He was hardly about to start now.
He sipped on his brandy and considered the garden before him. The entire thing was brightly lit, including the topiaries, and the inner walls of the hedgerow that separated the gardens from the dark, rolling hills beyond. Draco found himself impressed. It was nearly as nice as the manor; Pansy’s doing, no doubt. She had confided in him that upon her and Theo’s marriage and their inheritance of the estate the place had been rather dreary, the house falling into disrepair and the gardens weedy with neglect. Of course, Pansy Nott could never abide such a thing.
Draco wondered what it would be like to have a wife as opinionated as Pansy come into her new home at the manor and already be thinking about what she wanted to do to change it. Draco didn’t think he would much care, but it was odd to imagine nonetheless. Astoria had been wide-eyed and awe-struck upon moving in, and never one to speak up about anything, now that he thought about it. He’d always chocked it up to that the Malfoy estate was much larger and more lavish than the Greengrass one. This didn’t make the match uneven by any stretch. The Malfoys had amassed quite a fortune, true, but the Greengrasses were in a much greater abundance of political clout. They had been neutral during the war and had therefore avoided the stain on their name that an association with the Dark Lord would bring.
Still, the sudden influx of largesse into Astoria’s life had made her rather quiet at first. Or maybe it was the awkwardness of the new marriage and how they figure out getting to know each other. But even after that had passed, after they had slept together for the first time and eased into a natural routine, Astoria never really treated the manor as something to make her own. She’d never tried to change anything about it or disagreed with any of Draco’s decisions about its upkeep. And that was rather strange, wasn’t it? Weren’t husbands and wives supposed to argue about such things? Given the number of times Pansy had come to Draco in a snit over some disagreement she’d had with Theo, it seemed likely. Yet Draco and Astoria hardly ever fought.
At the time he’d thought it a sign of their natural compatibility as a couple, but it only seemed like one more piece of evidence that indicated Astoria’s lack of investment in their marriage from the start. She’d always had one foot out the door, it seemed. She couldn’t be bothered to do up the manor how she wanted it; she couldn’t be bothered to argue with him about anything.
His thoughts were interrupted when he saw movement from the corner of his eye. He turned, seeing a tall, lanky figure heading his way. His stomach lurched slightly, realizing who it was.
It was Kyle. Of course. Because the things you always try most to avoid are the ones that make a point of finding you.
“Hey,” said Kyle. To his credit, he didn’t sit down uninvited, only lingered a few feet from the bench, his hands stuffed in his jean pockets with the thumbs sticking out.
He really was tall, Draco thought as he looked up at the brunet. He looked as though he had at least a couple inches on Draco, if not more. It was almost a relief, since Draco really didn’t go for men who were taller than him. So why should he bother to pursue Kyle, when there were already so many reasons not to?
“Hello,” he said. “Enjoying your evening?”
Kyle shrugged. “I guess. It’s a little… I don’t know… stuffy in there.”
Draco nodded. Pansy’s parties had a tendency to feel that way. “So you thought you’d come out for some fresh air?”
“And Lindsey was wondering where you were.”
“Mm,” said Draco noncommittally.
“She thought maybe you’d left. But I saw you go out the back doors as if you were coming this way, and I didn’t see you come back, so I figured you were still out here.”
Draco couldn’t help a small smile. He wondered if Kyle realized how much he had revealed just now. Probably not.
“But you didn’t relay your knowledge of my whereabouts to your sister, I see,” he said.
Kyle was temporarily stymied. “I guess I thought I’d come see if you wanted to go back inside?” he said, as if it were a question.
“As opposed to sending her out here to find me, which would have allowed her to have a nice quiet chat with me, completely alone. Instead, you’re the one who came.” He wasn’t sure why he was playing this game with Kyle right now. The bloke was so guileless, it was difficult to resist. But it was a dangerous line he was walking.
To his surprise, Kyle laughed. “Yeah,” he said with resignation, looking at the smooth cobblestones of the garden path. “That doesn’t make much sense, does it?”
The starkness of that admission, the cavalier way he so easily acquiesced, left Draco speechless for a moment. He finished off his last sip of brandy to manage his nerves. “Would you like to sit?” he asked after he’d set the empty snifter aside and looked back at Kyle.
The brunet hesitated – surprised, Draco thought – before nodding and joining Draco on the bench. He had no drink, nothing to fiddle with, so he just picked at a burgeoning hole in the knee of his jeans while they both sat in silence.
Draco didn’t mean for it to be awkward, but he had to consider what he wanted to say. “I’ll be honest with you,” he said finally. “Your sister is lovely. I really enjoyed talking to her. But I’m not…” He paused, realizing he was about to be a bit too blunt, perhaps.
“Straight?” Kyle said, venturing a guess at how Draco’s sentence was going to end.
Draco choked on a laugh. “Fucking hell,” he said, out of sheer surprise. “You cut to the chase.”
“Sorry,” he replied, looking sheepish. “I have this problem with saying what I’m thinking without… um…”
“Thinking?” Draco filled in with a teasing grin.
“Yeah, exactly,” Kyle said, grinning back. “Lindsey calls it my Word Vomit Syndrome.”
“What a pleasant name,” Draco said drily. “And I’m ashamed to admit I occasionally have the same affliction, particularly when I’m nervous.”
“Yeah,” Kyle said, nodding. “Yeah, exactly.”
They both fidgeted in silence a few moments more before Draco decided to press on.
“I was actually going to say that your sister is lovely and I enjoyed talking to her, but I’m not interested in her in that way. I was trying to find a more diplomatic way of saying it. But it sounds like I needn’t have bothered.”
“Ah,” said Kyle. “Yeah, that makes sense.”
“It’s not that I can’t be attracted to women. I happen to be bisexual, in point of fact. It’s just that I’m not attracted to Lindsey in particular. I hope that doesn’t… I’m not trying to offend you, or anything.”
Kyle shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I mean, my sister is awesome, obviously. But it’s not like I’m going around thinking she hung the moon and every guy should be in love with her.”
“All right, well… that’s good.” Draco wasn’t sure what to say. “I just don’t want to hurt her feelings. I think Pansy had it in mind that we would hit it off immediately and she set up some unfair expectations. It’s exactly why I hate set-ups, actually.”
Kyle nodded. “Yeah. They’re pretty much the worst.” Draco found himself chuckling at that. “You won’t hurt her feelings,” Kyle assured him. “I think she might have been interested, but she’s a big girl; she can handle it. Especially if she realized her brother-“ He stopped talking abruptly.
Draco tried really, really hard not to smirk. It was a Herculean effort. “Her brother what?”
“Nothing,” said Kyle, fighting a smile as he looked out over the gardens. “Just my Syndrome acting up again. We don’t need to dwell on it.”
“Hmmmm,” said Draco, considering Kyle unabashedly for a moment. He could make out his blush in the warm glow of the fairy lights around them.
He was so awkward and gangly and artless, and yet it only served to make him rather charming to be with. It helped that he had a nice, wide smile, graceful hands, and those brilliant blue eyes. But it was his personality, the sense that Draco could say pretty much anything to him and Kyle would probably be able to come back with something even more embarrassing about himself, that made Draco feel like the bloke had stumbled into his life at just the right moment.
It was a ridiculous, romantic notion, but it was sort of nice to have ridiculous, romantic notions after spending so much time being pragmatic lately.
Of course, there was the small problem of the fact that pursuing anything with Kyle – and, if he was honest with himself, that was definitely where this was heading – meant outing himself to Pansy, as well as the other Slytherins, in all likelihood.
You have to do it sometime, said a small voice. Why not now?
But he couldn’t go there, not quite yet. He had to know what this could be. It had to be something beyond just an initial attraction.
“Did you meet Pansy through the Ministry?” he asked, hoping to at least get Kyle talking about himself so he could learn a little more. “Or did you know Theo first?”
“Pansy,” Kyle said. “And actually, Lindsey met her first. There was this fundraising event at the Ministry and I was just going to skip it, but Lindsey desperately wanted to go. She loves that kind of stuff. Pretty much any chance she can get to meet new people.”
Draco nodded, understanding the incredulity in the other man’s voice. Draco had just the opposite attitude to Lindsey’s regarding Ministry functions. From the sound of it, Kyle did too.
“She immediately started working the room, of course.” Kyle rolled his eyes, though his smile was affectionate. “And along the way met Pansy. And they hit it off, and Lindsey introduced me. And then like a week later Pansy started inviting us to parties. Lindsey always wanted to go.”
“So you went along?”
Kyle shrugged. “Sure. It’s not like I hate parties or anything. It’s not that I hate meeting new people. And it’s not that I don’t like talking. But I don’t like meeting a bunch of new people all at once. And I hate small talk. Like, with a passion. It makes me want to tear my hair out.”
“Or get blind drunk,” Draco offered.
Kyle laughed. “Yeah, exactly. Something along those lines. Anyway, what I usually do is find like one or two people at a party and just go, like, really deep with them. I make it my life’s mission to know everything about them. But some people aren’t into that. I guess they think it’s creepy.”
Draco laughed. “I suppose it could be.”
“But the way I see it,” Kyle went on, “there’s no real point in meeting someone new if you’re not going to actually try to get to know them. And you never know who you might hit it off with. I actually met my most recent boyfriend, the one I lived with in Toronto, I mean – but, we’re not together anymore – but yeah, I just met him at a party and ended up talking to him all night and…” He shrugged. “There you have it.”
Draco looked at Kyle sideways, a sly smile forming involuntarily along his lips. So subtle, Kyle he wanted to tease. Showing his interest in men and making it clear he was single in one mere sentence. Impressive. And ridiculously endearing, for some reason. But he didn’t know if Kyle would appreciate him bringing it up. So he just decided to run with the topic of conversation had been presented to him.
“You had a live-in boyfriend back in Canada.”
“Yeah.” Kyle nodded. “For almost three years. Well, we didn’t live together all that time. We were only living together about six months before I moved here.”
“Is that why you broke up, because of the move? Or did you move because you broke up?”
Kyle chuckled. “A little of both, I guess. There’s nothing like living with someone to magnify all the things that were already wrong with your relationship. We argued a lot, about stupid things. I couldn’t see it at the time, but he was always trying to change things about me. But like, subtly. So I didn’t even notice. I don’t know. I was looking for a new job and trying to keep it in Toronto at least because he really didn’t want to move, and then the offer from your Ministry came and it was like… I don’t know. I realized I was actually seriously considering it. It was too good to pass up, you know? But he was the opposite of supportive. We had a huge fight about it, and it drudged up all this other stuff, like all this resentment I had from how I had built my life around him and what he wanted and he was never doing the same in return, and how he always had expectations about how I needed to be for him… As soon as I refused to fit the picture of who he wanted me to be and the life he wanted to build he became totally distant. That’s when I realized he actually didn’t like me very much.” He was quiet for a few moments as he looked out over the gardens. Draco didn’t reply or try to push him, only watched and listened. “And that kind of sucks,” he said matter-of-factly. “It really sucks to realize that someone you thought loved you doesn’t even really like you.”
Draco laughed aloud at the irony of that, especially given what he had just been thinking about before Kyle arrived. It wasn’t until Kyle ducked his head and spoke softly that Draco realized how his laughter might be construed.
“Sorry. I don’t meant to, like, give you my life story when you didn’t ask for it.”
“No, that’s not it,” Draco reassured him. “It’s just interesting, because I was quite literally just thinking, while I was sitting alone out here, about my ex-wife and the fact that we never fought when we were married and how she never really asked anything of me at all. It’s like I had the exact opposite problem you had. She went along with everything I said, and was basically completely… passive, I suppose is the word for it. And I’m realizing now that maybe she was just indifferent to me. Which, frankly, I think is almost worse than realizing your partner dislikes you.”
“Is that why you got divorced? Because she was indifferent?”
“She was unfaithful to me,” Draco said. “Many, many times.” He didn’t feel like telling the whole story, not tonight. And he had a feeling that Kyle wouldn’t react the way Paul and David had, trying to milk him for every detail like it was just some juicy story they were watching on television. He had a feeling Kyle knew a little something about rejection, enough that he wouldn’t find such a story amusing.
“I’m sorry,” Kyle said simply.
“Thank you, but there’s no need to be. She set me free. I was shackled to her in an arranged marriage, and I would have stayed in it for the rest of my life if I hadn’t learned of her infidelity. I had no idea I was stuck with someone who would do that, who didn’t even respect me enough to stay true. So she did me a favor, even if she didn’t mean to.”
“You’re better off.”
Draco nodded. “Without a doubt.”
Kyle smiled softly. “That makes two of us, then.”
“And we’re not even just pretending it’s true to make ourselves feel better,” Draco added. “It’s actually true.”
Kyle laughed. “You’re right.”
“Have you dated anyone since you moved here?”
“Hmm,” Kyle said. “It depends on your definition of ‘dating.’”
It was Draco’s turn to laugh. “One-offs?”
“What? No,” said Kyle, shaking his head. “Not like that. I just meant I’ve met a few cute guys in various situations and flirted a lot and kind of hung out with them a bit. But none of it ever amounted to anything. I don’t know. When I hit it off with someone, I really hit it off. But I’m actually kind of picky. It’s hard to meet my type of guy.”
“Your type?”
“I don’t know…” He smiled nervously. “Really smart, I guess, and not afraid to hide it. Willing to talk about real things, ask important questions. Gets my sense of humor. Basically not the kind of guy who hangs out at bars just looking to hook up. And considering it can be really hard to meet men who like other men, especially if you’re new to a place, without going to gay bars… It’s just kind of frustrating. I guess I should take a leaf out of Lindsey’s book and just going around meeting everyone I can. But I just… ugh. I can’t bring myself to.”
Draco considered that. “I don’t know about that. I tend to think you’re better off doing things in your own time, they way you want to do them. Otherwise, are you really being yourself?”
“I don’t know if I would go that far,” said Kyle. “I think you can step our of your comfort zone and still be yourself. That’s what my parents and my sister are always telling me, anyway. That I should take more risks.” He chuckled. “For Christmas actually my mom bought me one of those Muggle coffee mugs with the writing on it, you know?”
Draco nodded. He was vaguely familiar.
“It said, ‘Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.’ That’s how risk-averse I am. My mom is buying me freaking coffee mugs about it.”
Draco shook his head in disbelief, and also in camaraderie. “That sounds like something my father would do. He has very clear ideas about what I should do and how I should do it. But it’s becoming more and more clear to me as time goes on that I should just say ‘fuck him’ and do what I want.” He looked at Kyle and smiled. “So I say fuck the coffee mug and do what makes you happy.”
Kyle laughed. “Maybe you’re right. It would definitely make my life less stressful.”
“I don’t think a person can go through life without some risk. But I always prefer calculated risks, worthwhile risks. I don’t think it makes sense to rush headlong into a situation without thinking it through. And I don’t much fancy the idea of taking risks just for the sake of it. It has to…mean something. It has to be for a good reason.”
“I feel the same way,” said Kyle.
They were silent, looking out over the garden.
“I’m not out, you know,” Draco said suddenly. He saw Kyle turn to him sharply out of the corner of his eye. “To the world, I mean. I’m out to some of my friends. But no one here, not at this party.”
“Not even to Pansy?”
Draco shook his head. “It’s a recent development, you understand. Not like I became bisexual suddenly or anything like that. I just discovered it later than most. After my divorce, I reevaluated a lot about my life and what I wanted, and I figured out I liked men as well as women. Sometimes I think I might actually like men a bit more. It all happened while I was at Hogwarts this year, so some of my friends there know. But I haven’t had the chance to tell Pansy.” He smiled wryly. “Well, in truth, I’ve been avoiding telling her, because she’s one of my oldest friends.”
“It’s so much harder to come out to the people who’ve known you all or most of your life,” said Kyle. “Especially if they don’t see it coming.”
Draco nodded. “I’m seeing the truth of that. When it comes to my parents, for example… I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do it. I’m not sure I could bear the way I know my father would look at me.”
“With disappointment?”
“With disgust,” said Draco. “And he wouldn’t bother trying to hide it.”
To Draco’s surprise, Kyle put a hand over his. It was gentle, tentative, almost like a question. But when Draco turned his palm over and welcomed the touch, Kyle‘s grip tightened just slightly.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “That would be really hard. I’m lucky that my family has been supportive, but I’ve had friends in a similar situation to yours. They handled it differently in each case, but I could see how each way had its pros and cons.”
Draco watched him, listening with a furrowed brow.
“I guess what I mean is I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to go about handling it. I think you should do what you feel is right. And if you’re not ready to come out… Well… Only you can truly know that for yourself.”
“That’s just it, though,” said Draco. “Most of the night I’ve been thinking how nice it would be if I didn’t have to hide, if Pansy just knew I liked men and was fine with it, like I know she will be. She’s already told me she wouldn’t mind if her own son was gay. I know she would be supportive of me, if not surprised. And yes, there are other old schoolmates of mine here who I’ve known a painfully long time, so they would find out too. But if they didn’t approve, I wouldn’t care, honestly. Pansy would give them a talking to and put them in line anyway.”
Kyle laughed and nodded. “True.”
“So really, it seems ridiculous not to come out to my friends, when I think about it like that. When I think about the detriments of Pansy not knowing the truth. When I think about what it’s keeping me from.”
“From being yourself, you mean? From being honest?”
“Yes, that,” Draco replied with a sly smile. His fingers intertwined with Kyle’s. “But, more specifically, how it would keep me from really getting to know the first bloke I’ve properly liked in quite some time.”
He watched Kyle closely, waiting for him to absorb the words. He knew they’d hit their mark when a soft blush stole across the brunet’s cheeks and his mouth formed the smallest twitch of a smile.
“Oh.”
“You have no idea how annoyed I was at the irony of the situation when I realized I was much more interested in you than your sister,” said Draco, hoping he wasn’t being too forward. But he felt Kyle had given him enough hints that his interest would be welcome. They were sitting there holding hands for Merlin’s sake. “It felt like some kind of joke the universe was playing on me, like it was taunting me almost. But maybe that’s not it at all. Maybe it was the sign I needed in order to know I should take the next step and come out to my closest friends.”
Kyle stared at their entwined hands.
“All because of me?”
“Does it surprise you?”
“We just met. You don’t even know me.”
“You’re right. But I want to. I’ve seen and heard enough already to know that I want to.”
The brunet laughed nervously. “My rambling about how I hate small talk?”
“Yes. Because it wasn’t rambling. And I hate small talk too.” On instinct, Draco reached up and lightly caressed a lock of hair that had fallen over Kyle’s eye. It made the man look up at him, wide-eyed.
“What do you…? I mean… What are you saying exactly?”
Draco’s hand drifted down past Kyle’s temple until his fingertips were resting on the side of Kyle’s cheek, where the skin was surprisingly soft. “I suppose I’m wondering if you’d like to come back to mine for a little while, have a drink with me. That is, if it isn’t bad form to leave your sister on her own.”
“She has her own place,” Kyle said, his incredulous eyes never leaving Draco’s. “She’s sub-letting an apartment for the summer. We both do a lot of things on our own.”
“Well, good then. What do you think?”
Kyle swallowed. “All right.”
Draco grinned. “All right?”
“Are we going now?”
Draco grinned wider. “If you want. I have to… you know, come out to Pansy and everything, tell her where I’m going and with whom.”
“You’re going to do it right now?”
Draco stood. “No time like the present.” He felt giddy and daring, and he wasn’t sure entirely where it came from. He supposed he was just tired of all the subterfuge and talking around the issue with her.
“You couldn’t just do it in the morning, after the fact?”
“Why wait?” said Draco. “And don’t you have to say goodbye to your sister, at least?”
Kyle nodded slowly. “I mean yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“She’s going to want to know where you’re going.”
“Sure, but I don’t have to tell her. Not if you don’t want me to.”
On a whim, Draco bent towards Kyle, who was still sitting on the bench, and gave him a peck on the lips. He was pleased to find them plump and soft, exactly how he liked them. “You’re sweet,” he said. “But you don’t need to hide anything from her. I’m tired of hiding.”
“Ok…” Kyle looked a bit dazed, but he stood too, taking Draco’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll meet you by the front door, I guess?”
“The floo in the front sitting room, actually,” Draco corrected him. “That will be easier.”
“Ok then.”
They parted ways once they were back inside again, Draco to seek out Pansy and Kyle to find his sister.
Pansy was easy, since it turned out she was looking for him as well.
“There you are!” she said, putting a hand on his arm. “Where did you disappear off to? I thought you had left without saying goodbye.”
“I would never do that,” Draco assured her.
“Even when you’re angry with me?” she ventured, and Draco realized that she was taking their earlier conversation to heart.
“Even then. And I’m not even remotely angry at you.”
She watched his face silently.
“I am leaving now, though.”
“Oh? I was hoping you’d stay and have another drink. Theo’s barely gotten to speak to you at all.”
“I know. But I… well…” Merlin, this was harder than it needed to be. His energy and gusto from before had waned somewhat. “The truth is, Pans… I’ve met someone at the party, and they’ve accepted my invitation to come back to the manor with me and…” He couldn’t help but grin. “I like him quite a bit, so I think this is a promising prospect.”
Pansy openly gaped at him for at least twenty seconds. “You did say ‘him,’ right?” She managed finally. “I didn’t just… I’m not just hearing things.”
“Him. Yes. I’m bisexual, it turns out. Been meaning to tell you, actually, but I’ve been putting it off. So… sorry about that.”
“I…” Pansy was at a complete loss for words, but Draco found he couldn’t properly enjoy it, not until he was sure she would accept him. “Well… what does a person say at a time like this? Congratulations?”
“Uh, well, I’m not entirely sure that’s the phrasing I would use, but sure. Let’s go with it.” Pansy was still staring at him, though she didn’t look angry or repulsed, and that was something. “Anyway, Kyle’s waiting for me, so I best be off.”
“Wait,” she said, grabbing his arm. “Kyle?”
“Kyle Bergeron. Lindsey’s brother. Did I not mention that?”
“Um, no. You didn’t.”
“Well… It’s him. He’s quite fit, you know, actually. Sort of charming in a bumbling, self-conscious kind of way. And a great conversationalist. Very stimulating. Anyway, not sure what’s going to happen tonight but with any luck we’ll be blowing each other by the end of the week. All right, well, cheerio then, love. See you later.” He attempted a hasty kiss to her cheek, but she grabbed him to stop him.
“Draco Malfoy,” she said. “You cannot simply drop something like this on me and then walk away. You have to… you have to give me time to process this.”
He put his hands on her shoulders. “I know,” he said gently. “I know it’s sudden, for you at least. But for me it’s not as sudden as all that.”
“How long have you known?”
“Not quite a year. I realized it not long after I started at Hogwarts.”
She considered that. “That’s not very long at all.”
“No,” he agreed.
“Lindsey’s very protective of her brother, you know,” she said. “I hope you’re not just using him to experiment. I don’t think she would like that.”
“It’s not that at all, I promise. Kyle is hardly…” He felt a blush come to his cheeks. “I’ve done plenty of experimenting. With Muggle men I picked up at clubs, mostly.” He ignored Pansy’s shocked expression. “This is different. I really like him. I don’t know what will happen, of course. But it’s not a lark. Hopefully it will be something good.”
“Do your parents know?”
Draco scoffed. “Of course not. Hardly anyone knows. You’re one of the first I’ve told. I’d rather…” He realized this was probably an important thing to relay, and in his haste had nearly forgotten about it. “If it’s possible to avoid them finding at this stage, that would be best. Obviously if I end up… choosing a man as a partner, that’s a different story, but-“
“You can’t be serious. You would actually-”
Draco stared at her. “I’m being serious, Pansy. Perfectly serious.”
She looked at him almost sadly. “I won’t tell them. And I’ll make sure the gossip mill doesn’t spread it, to the best of my abilities. But you’re opening a box you can’t close back up again, Draco. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I don’t, not all the time,” he said truthfully. “All I know is I’m finally being honest for the first time in a long time. Maybe even ever, when it comes to true honesty, to really being myself. But I’m tired of hiding it, and I wanted you to know.”
She stared at him a moment longer before embracing him fiercely. “I love you,” she said.
He smiled and held her tightly. “I love you too.”
“Just be careful, would you?”
“I will.”
She pulled away. “Go then. I have about a million questions but I have to think about all of this. You picked a bloody inconvenient time to tell me all about it, you know.”
He grinned unabashedly. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” she replied, shoving him playfully. “Now, go. Before Kyle comes to his senses and realizes how ridiculously high maintenance you are.”
Draco clutched his chest as though wounded, but in truth he really didn’t want to leave Kyle waiting. So he simply flashed her another grin and turned, making his way to the front of the house.
Kyle was there, standing in front of the fire with one hip cocked and looking at the mantle décor absently.
“Hi,” said Draco. He suddenly felt a bit nervous. He’d never done anything like this before; he was never one to readily invite a person he’d just met back to his home, and definitely not someone he thought he might like to date. It felt personal, real, in a way he hadn’t experienced when it was the other way around and men were taking him home to theirs.
On the other hand, he was sort of enjoying this Gryffindor-esque impulsiveness that had come over him, and he figured he should ride this train as long as it was running, no matter how it turned out.
Kyle turned to him with that soft, shy smile that Draco was already starting to recognize. “Hi. How did it go with Pansy?”
“Really well, I think, all told,” said Draco. “She was genuinely surprised. Shocked, even. But she seems all right with it.”
“You thought maybe she’d figured it out already or something? That’s how my sister was, when I came out to her. She basically told I didn’t need to bother because, ‘Umm… duh,’ I believe her words were.”
Draco laughed. “Well, when a person knows us well enough I guess part of us expects that they somehow already know all of our secrets. But of course that’s not true.”
“Are you disappointed? That she didn’t already have it figured out?”
“I don’t really think I have a right to be. I really didn’t give her any reason to suspect. I’ve played things pretty close to the chest most of my life, actually.”
“Still, you might have hoped anyway, and that’s all right.”
Draco came closer, putting a tentative hand on Kyle’s waist. Kyle put a hand on his arm, encouraging the touch. “I’m not sure if I was hoping for it or not. I’m not sure it matters. I think I’m just glad it’s done.”
Kyle’s arm squeezed Draco’s very lightly, as if in reassurance.
“Are you ready?” Draco asked him.
“Sure,” the brunet replied.
Draco flooed in first, since the manor’s wards didn’t much like a stranger arriving in the home without a Malfoy already present. But Kyle came tumbling in not far behind him. As soon as he arrived and had finished dusting himself off he looked around the front hall with an impressed raise of the eyebrows.
“Out of one pureblood mansion and into another, I guess, huh?” he said with a laugh.
“I suppose so,” Draco agreed. He leaned in and added, in a conspiratorial murmur, “Although I’ll have you know that Malfoy Manor is much older and much larger than the Nott estate. Not that I’m one to boast.” He gave Kyle a wink, then took his hand and started leading him down the hall.
“You know,” Kyle replied in an amused tone, “there are many who claim that age is just a number and that size doesn’t matter.”
“And those people would be wrong,” Draco quipped, making his accent as posh as possible. “Of course, I’ve always thought that above size, it’s always mattered more how well-decorated it is.”
He heard Kyle choke on a laugh. “Um, what?”
Draco looked at him innocently. “Manors, of course. I’m talking about manors. Why, what are you talking about?”
Kyle shook his head in apparent disbelief, or perhaps embarrassment, but he bumped Draco’s shoulder in an affectionate way that Draco took as a sign that he enjoyed the teasing.
“Come, the parlor in the west wing is coziest.”
“Ah, yes, the parlor in the west wing, of course,” Kyle said, doing a halfway decent impression of Draco’s voice and making the blond chuckle. Despite the mild mocking, Kyle seemed genuinely interested in the manor and asked him questions about the portraits and artifacts that they passed. Draco was happy to answer his questions, and their conversation extended all the way to their destination. Kyle looked around that space too, noticing every detail, this time silently.
Draco called for Nixie, and she appeared immediately. He greeted her and introduced her to Kyle, who greeted her quite kindly as well.
“Drinks for master and his guest?” Nixie asked eagerly.
“What would you like?” Draco said, turning to Kyle. “Nixie can get you whatever you want. Wine, whiskey, tea?”
“I, um,” Kyle mussed his hair as he thought about it. “Tea, I think.”
“Right away, sirs,” Nixie said, bowing low.
“Have a seat,” Draco said, gesturing toward the sofa. “Make yourself comfortable.”
Kyle craned his neck, staring at the piece of furniture in question, looking strangely apprehensive.
“Look, um,” he said, turning back to Draco. “This is really nice. I’m glad we’re, you know, getting to know each other better. But I don’t usually do this. Not – I mean – not this, I mean… I, you know, drink tea and sit on sofas and stuff. Obviously. That’s not what I mean. It’s just…” He let out a breath with a soft “hoo,” grinning nervously. “It’s just that you’re, like, really hot. Like, distractingly hot. Which is a bit of a problem because I’m looking at you with all your hotness and suddenly you’re inviting me back to your place for a drink, and I’m just saying I don’t usually do that kind of thing. When I’ve just met someone I mean. I’m just not sure… I didn’t want you to think…”
“Kyle,” Draco said, finally showing him some mercy. He was enjoying the nervous stuttering quite a bit, but he could see the poor bloke wanted to be put out of his misery. “Are you trying to say that you don’t do one-offs? That you don’t sleep with people you just met?”
“Yes,” he replied with a sigh of relief. “That’s what I’m saying. It’s not a judgment or anything, you know. It’s just not my usual style.”
Draco took a step toward him, giving him a warm smile. “I knew that already, when I invited you back here.”
“Oh,” said Kyle, his blue eyes wide as he watched Draco approach.
“You essentially told me as much, when we were talking in the garden. I invited you over because I want to get to know you better, like you said. It doesn’t have to mean we sleep together. I’m not saying I’m opposed to that, mind you. You’re quite fit as well, you know, not to mention unbearably cute when you’re nervous.”
“Shut up,” Kyle said, staring at the floor, a blush evident on his cheeks. “I know I sound like an idiot. I promise I don’t always sound like an idiot. I think your hotness has obliterated some of my brain cells.”
“I think it’s adorable,” Draco said, putting a finger under Kyle’s chin to lift his head. Kyle met his gaze again, and Draco took the opportunity, now that he was touching the other man, to run a thumb lightly over his plump bottom lip, making the brunet’s breath stutter. “I like it, is what I’m saying. It feels more real to me than anything I’ve experienced in a long time. I guess you could say I’ve been with a lot of smooth talkers lately. I like you better. I like you a lot.” He dropped his hand but leaned in, adding something else in a conspiratorial whisper. “And you want to know something else?”
Kyle nodded emphatically, not even blinking.
“I don’t usually do this either, invite someone back to the manor like this. So I’m nervous too. I want this to go well. I want you to be comfortable and I want you to like me. So,” he gestured at the coffee table in front of the sofa, where a tea tray had been delivered discreetly by Nixie a few moments before, “let’s just sit, have some tea, and talk. Whatever happens or doesn’t happen, I’m guessing I’m still going to like you tomorrow. And the day after that as well, I imagine.”
Kyle let out a shaky laugh and nodded. “Yeah, ok. That sounds good. I’m sorry, for jumping to conclusions. I guess it really has been a while.”
“It’s fine, really. Don’t worry for a moment,” Draco said, placing a gentle hand on his back and guiding him towards the sofa. “How do you like your tea?”
He doctored it with milk and sugar per Kyle’s request and then asked him about adjusting to life in London. Kyle seemed happy with the topic, since he had plenty of anecdotes to share about his first few weeks. Turned out he had a pretty terrible sense of direction and found the London streets very confusing.
“Thank Merlin for Apparition, is all I can say,” said Kyle. “I’m still not sure I could find my way to the Ministry every day if I had to take the underground.”
“You don’t floo in?”
“My apartment doesn’t have a fireplace,” Kyle told him, then laughed at Draco’s incredulous expression. “Not ideal. It’s No-maj – Muggle, I mean – and it was what I could afford, so…” He shrugged. “It’s fine. I live with it. The apartment Lindsey is staying in while she’s here has one, of course, because she’s always been lucky like that. Plus she makes a lot more money than I do.”
“Private Potions labs in Canada pay that well, do they?”
“They pay decently well, but the real money is in the patents. For any major breakthrough the lab shares the patent with the employee who discovered it, and Lindsey’s basically a genius, so she’s made a lot of discoveries. She gets to make money off of those too.”
“But that’s not your priority, making money.”
Kyle shrugged. “Not really. I don’t mind money, obviously. But… no it’s not that important. If I have enough to survive, then I’m happy.”
“You’d rather just help the disabled walk again.”
Kyle turned red. “Ugh, can we not talk about that? Lindsey always makes it sound like a much bigger deal than it actually is.”
“Mm, if you say so.”
“It’s not false modesty, I swear. I just don’t want you to get the impression that I can wave my wand and work miracles because I honestly can’t. It’s just a prototype at this point anyway, and… I don’t know. I guess I feel a lot of pressure about it.”
“All right, then let me ask you this,” said Draco, sensing his genuine discomfort. He gestured about the room. “Does all of this make you hate me?”
Kyle laughed. “What? The house?”
“Yes,” Draco said emphatically, glad he could make him relax a bit. “Because I have to admit, sitting here listening to you talk about your work and your sister’s, and having heard Lindsey tell me about her projects earlier tonight… I can’t help but think that what I’ve contributed to the world pales in comparison. Made even worse by the fact that we’re sitting here in my family’s mansion, which I had been hoping you would find impressive, but now I’m thinking you’re going to find it the opposite and think I’m some upper-class prat who’s never worked a day in his life.”
Kyle shook his head, grinning. “Don’t be ridiculous. I know how hard you work. I overheard some of what you said to Lindsey about your students. You’re obviously a passionate teacher, which I think is really…” He took a sip of his tea, turning red again. “…you know, attractive. And really sweet. So yeah, I don’t much care about the huge house and the fancy furniture but you’re plenty impressive without all that.” He placed his teacup on the table, and Draco couldn’t help but notice the way that when he sat back again, he was just a few inches closer to Draco than before.
“I am, am I?” he said, turning his body fully towards Kyle, who copied him.
“Definitely.”
“Is that why you came to find me in the garden?”
Kyle scratched an eyebrow, hiding behind his hand for a moment. “I guess.”
“You guess,” Draco teased, scooting a bit closer. Their elbows were resting side by side on the back of the sofa now.
Kyle huffed. “I already admitted how ridiculously attractive I find you. Do we really need to go on about it? Do I need to write you an epic poem about your hotness, or something, and then you’ll be satisfied?”
“No need for an epic poem,” said Draco. “A simple sonnet will do just fine.”
Kyle chuckled. “You’re very quick-witted.”
“That’s kind of you to say.”
“It’s pretty intimidating.”
“I promise I’m not trying to be.”
“I know. You’re trying to be the opposite. Which is why I’m still here.”
“I’m glad you’re still here,” Draco told him honestly.
Kyle looked in his eyes for a moment, then looked down again. “Gods. I really like you, I think.”
“Good. I feel the same way.”
“It hasn’t happened to me in a while.”
“That’s all right.”
“I’m not even really sure what to do about it.”
“Whatever you want, I would think,” said Draco, trying to sound reasonable. But he was aware that his voice had gone a bit husky, and Kyle was leaning into him, awfully close now. He was leaning in too, and he wondered, for a moment, if Kyle would mind a kiss. He could make it chaste, like he did back in the garden, and go from there.
But before he had time to decide either way, Kyle kissed him. Draco experienced only a moment of surprise before he kissed back, letting Kyle take the lead. It was tentative at first, just lips massaging against lips, but Kyle obviously liked what he felt, because he kissed harder, then suckled on Draco’s bottom lip. Draco moaned in approval and ventured a flick of a tongue against Kyle’s, who moaned in return.
And suddenly they were kissing properly, passionately, with Kyle’s hands gripping Draco’s hair and Draco putting his arm around Kyle’s waist to pull him closer. Kyle accepted the invitation wholeheartedly, practically clambering into Draco’s lap. It brought parts of them closer in new, enticing ways, and Draco couldn’t help a gasp. He was getting hard quickly, and it was abundantly clear that Kyle was too.
This was certainly going in a direction Draco didn’t expect, considering the conversation they’d had before they sat down. But Kyle was grinding against him deliciously now, and Draco found his hand snaking between them automatically, testing the waters by giving Kyle’s covered cock a tentative stroke. Kyle groaned and kissed him with even more fierceness, and Draco allowed his movements to become bolder.
When Kyle pulled away for some air, Draco decided to seize the opportunity to take this further.
“Can I suck you off?” he asked breathlessly while Kyle panted on top of him.
“What?” Kyle asked, pulling away just a bit more and meeting Draco’s eyes. Draco couldn’t tell if the brunet was bothered or simply dazed, and he decided to be cautious.
“Too much too soon?” he asked, moving his hand from Kyle’ erection to his bony hip. “We can stop if you want.” Though, in truth, he really, really hoped they didn’t.
“No, I… Merlin, I don’t know.” Kyle hesitated, his tongue flitting nervous over his lip. “But it sounds so… Coming out of your mouth, it sounds so good.”
“No pressure to reciprocate,” Draco promised, his hand now massaging Kyle’s thigh in a manner he hoped was both seductive and reassuring. “I just find myself really wanting to know what you taste like. And what you look like when you come.”
Kyle moaned and gave him a sensual kiss. "Then yes. Fuck yes. Please.”
Grinning widely, Draco flipped Kyle over onto his back so he was laying longways across the sofa. He fondled the brunet through his jeans again, starting to tease, before leaving that behind to unbutton his shirt from top to bottom.
“This all right?” he asked as he did it. “I want to play with you a little.”
Kyle nodded emphatically and stared up at him through hooded eyes. Draco reached the final button and then opened the shirt completely, revealing Kyle’s pale, bare torso.
He was thin, even thinner than Draco, and not at all like the very muscular bloke that Draco had been with most recently. But that was all right. There was a kind of masculine elegance to the sinewy lines of his prominent ribs that Draco found both unexpected and arousing. He bent his head in appreciation and flicked his tongue out to sample one of Kyle’s pebbled nipples. The brunet writhed invitingly, making Draco smile against his skin as he took the nub into his mouth and sucked.
“Mmm… fuck,” Kyle said, obviously enjoying it.
Draco lavished attention on the other nipple for a bit, getting a similar reaction and more encouragement, then started working his way down Kyle’s abdomen, feeling the hard breastbone under his lips before it opened at the ribs and dipped inwards. Kyle’s skin was soft and nearly hairless. There was only a small dusting on his chest and then a sparse trail from his belly button down to the edge of his jeans. Draco tongued his navel and followed the trail with his lips while his hands slid up to undo the buttons on his fly.
He could feel Kyle watching him, so as he gripped the waistband of the jeans he lifted his head to meet Kyle’s eyes and gave him a carnal smirk that he hoped would up Kyle’s anticipation even more. Based on the desperate hunger in the man’s eyes, Draco had succeeded. He pulled the jeans and underwear down just enough to free his hard cock, which bobbed up eagerly as if rejoicing in being free. It was long and slim, not unlike Kyle himself, and Draco took a moment to appreciate it before flitting his tongue out to lick gently at the head.
Kyle gasped and Draco kept going, tonguing the slit and enjoying the light salt of precum. He wrapped his lips around the head to take more of it in, groaning as he did. Kyle was trembling under him, breathing heavily. Draco bobbed his head once, taking Kyle about halfway in, and the brunet’s groaned echoed erotically through the otherwise empty sitting room. Draco did it again, going farther this time, and Kyle moaned in approval. A hand came up to grip Draco’s hair, but Kyle didn’t overdo it to the point of pain or try to control Draco’s movements. He was showing a tremendous amount of restraint, especially when Draco managed to fully relax his throat and take him nearly all the way inside.
“Oooohhhh, Draco,” Kyle said, sounding awed. “How… how the fuck do you…?”
Draco bobbed his head a bit more, then took him all the way in again and swallowed.
“Oh fuck. Oh Gods. Oh fuck!” Kyle said. “You’re so fucking good. You are so fucking good.”
Draco felt pride swell warm and pleasant in his chest. He had gotten quite good at this. Many of his recent one-offs had told him as much, in one form or another. But hearing it from Kyle felt different. He was so sweet, so earnest, and he was squirming and whimpering and saying “Oh Gods” like he couldn’t even believe how good it felt. And that made Draco nearly ready to come right there.
But Kyle was the priority first. Judging by the shaking and the tiny thrusts of his hips, it wasn’t going to take much more for him to be coming down Draco’s throat.
Sure enough, as Draco kept bobbing his head and sucking hard, occasionally pausing to take that long cock in deeper, Kyle started to say his name more and more desperately, finally gripping Draco’s hair tightly and crying out. Draco took it all, careful not to spill a drop.
“Sweet fucking…” Kyle said, panting. “That was so…” Apparently he was incapable of completing a sentence.
Draco gave him a satisfied grin as he palmed himself through his trousers. He was incredibly close to coming, but he wasn’t sure how Kyle would feel about him just whipping out his cock.
“Do you mind if I-“
“Let me,” Kyle said, correctly guessing the question. An elegant, long-fingered hand reached toward Draco’s groin.
“I meant what I said,” Draco told him. “There’s no pressure at all. I love giving head. See how much it turns me on?”
“Gods, you are fucking hot. Fuck.” Kyle replaced Draco’s teasing hand with his own. “I want to get you off. I really, really want to. Trust me.”
“Well, if you insist,” said Draco, holding up his hands to show that Kyle was in charge now. “I certainly won’t say no.”
“Where’s your bedroom?” Kyle asked.
Draco raised his eyebrows in surprise. He’d expected a hurried hand job on the sofa and no more than that.
“I want to see you naked,” Kyle added, his face going a bit red. “I’ve been thinking about you naked all night, actually.”
“You don’t say,” Draco said teasingly. “We can do something about that, I suppose.” He climbed off the sofa and offered the brunet a hand. “Come with me.”
Kyle stood, probably expecting to be led through the house. Instead Draco pulled him close and spun on the spot, Apparating them together. His bedroom was two floors up and in an entirely different wing of the house, and he was in no mood to walk all the way there with this aching erection.
When they landed, Kyle stumbled a bit and Draco caught him by his elbows. “You all right?”
“Yeah,” Kyle said, laughing. “Some warning would have been nice, though. My brain is still fuzzy from coming so hard.”
Draco’s cock stiffened further at those words, growing truly uncomfortable in its confines now, but Draco still managed a reply. “Doesn’t help I obliterated all those brain cells with my hotness, does it?”
Kyle shoved him playfully against his stomach in retaliation, moving him towards the bed. “My turn to do some obliterating, I think. Do you like receiving head as much as you like giving it?”
Draco tilted his head and tapped a finger on his lips, enjoying the banter. “Hmmm… let me think about it.”
Kyle laughed, then pulled Draco close for a kiss. “Or,” he said, his expression sobering a bit, “we could… I mean. Are you… Are you a top? You seem like a top.”
Draco eyed him. “I am,” he said. He almost added “exclusively,” but stopped himself. That was what he had told the other men he had slept with, making it clear that positions were non-negotiable. He couldn’t bring myself to bottom for anyone, not after what he’d done with Harry. He wasn’t sure why that was. He just couldn’t.
But he didn’t feel a need to be so adamant with Kyle, which showed just how much more comfortable Draco was with him than any of those Muggles.
“Good,” Kyle said, his eyes flitting to Draco’s lips a moment. “Because I prefer to bottom.”
“All right,” Draco replied, thrown by the direction this was heading in. Kyle was being a bit inconsistent, and it made him wonder. “Are you saying you want me to fuck you?”
“We could, if you want,” said Kyle.
“What do you want?” Draco asked, trying to sort out what Kyle was thinking. He’d never had this problem with Harry, all these mixed signals. Kyle didn’t answer right away, seeming stymied. “We don’t have to fuck tonight. We don’t have to do anything tonight. I hope you’re not rushing things to please me or something.”
“I, um…”
“I meant what I said,” Draco insisted, still watching him carefully. Kyle’s eyebrows were knitted together slightly, as if he were trying to sort out Draco’s motives the same way Draco was trying to sort out his. “Whatever happens or doesn’t happen, I’ll be fine with it. But what I really don’t want is for you to ask me to fuck you because you think you have to or just to make me like you or something.” Kyle stared at him, looking utterly bewildered. And almost forlorn. “Are you all right?”
“How are you this… nice?” Kyle asked finally.
Draco let out a surprised huff of laughter. “Been hanging around a lot of arseholes lately, have you?”
Kyle grinned nervously. “No, it’s not that. It’s just… I don’t know.”
“Did I come across as an arsehole at first?” Draco knew he could, if he was feeling aloof or just in a bit of a mood. Still, to hear it was so would sting a bit. He liked to think he’d become a kinder person over the years.
“Gods, no. Not even at all. I liked you straight away, and not just because you’re so good looking. I just meant…” He sighed. “I honestly don’t even know anymore.” He wiped a hand over his eyes.
Something clicked in Draco’s brain, remembering his failed attempt with Rick the Prick all those many months ago and what Harry said afterwards. Just because a person is good-looking doesn’t mean they’ll be a good lover. Some blokes think they’re doing you a favor just by being with you.
“It’s possible to be both attractive and kind at the same time, you know,” Draco said, making his tone amused and hoping to put Kyle at ease again. “They aren’t mutually exclusive. You’re living proof of that yourself.”
Kyle laughed genuinely now. “Thanks. I mean, yeah. Obviously. That’s true. About that you can be both, I mean. I’m just an idiot. And awkward as hell. In case that wasn’t obvious.”
Draco cupped Kyle’s chin and kissed him soundly. “Adorable, actually. Fucking adorable, which I believe I’ve mentioned already.”
Kyle kissed him back. “I can’t help it,” he said.
“I know.”
“So…”
“So. I believe you mentioned something about seeing me naked. And something about me receiving oral sex. Still interested?”
“Most definitely.”
“Then let’s get naked, shall we?”
Kyle grabbed Draco and kissed him deeply. “You know, for someone who says they’re tired of smooth talkers, you’re a pretty smooth talker yourself. Just saying.”
“’Let’s get naked’ is the epitome of a clever pickup line in Canada, then, is it?” Draco replied with a smirk.
“Shut up,” Kyle said with a disbelieving shake of his head and a massive grin still on his face.
“Should I fumble around a bit more or something? Stutter my words? Try to sexily remove my jumper only to get stuck halfway inside it? Would that make you feel better?”
“Yeah, that sounds pretty good actually,” Kyle replied, removing Draco’s jumper easily and without any fuss at all. “And if you could throw in a few embarrassing sounds or turns of phrase once I have my mouth around your dick, that might help too.”
“All right. Did you have any special requests? ‘Sweet baby unicorns’ is a personal favorite. I’ll scream it right when I come, I promise.”
“I had a boyfriend who used to yell ‘Morgana’s tiny tits!’ almost every time he came,” Kyle relayed with a laugh.
“No,” Draco said, both aghast and amused.
“Yes,” Kyle said, undoing Draco’s belt. “I laughed at him more than once. He didn’t like that at all. But I couldn’t help it.”
“He sounds like a prat.”
“He was.” Kyle pulled down Draco’s trousers, removing them completely, along with his socks. “Not everyone is both attractive and kind at the same time, actually.” The underwear came off now, and Kyle simply stared down at him, wide-eyed. Draco folded his hands behind his head and let Kyle get a good look. “Holy shit,” the brunet said after a minute.
Long fingers caressed Draco’s thigh, and he bit his lip as he arched into the touch. The hand traveled upward, over his abdomen.
“What’s this from?” Kyle asked, stroking the large and jagged sectumsempra scar.
“The war,” Draco told him calmly. “A slicing curse. I was sixteen.”
“I can’t even imagine,” he murmured.
“It was a long time ago,” Draco told him. The playfulness had dissipated somewhat, and he rather wanted it back. “Got myself into a duel with a sworn enemy. Not my finest hour.” He smirked at Kyle when the brunet met his eyes.
“Still, no one deserves something like that.” Kyle bent and kissed the scar. Draco felt inexplicably sad all of a sudden, and he swallowed against it.
“Oh yeah?” he asked shakily, but trying to inject some humor into it. “Then what do I deserve instead?” He arched again, bumping Kyle’s stomach with his insistent erection.
Kyle chuckled, clearly taking the hint. He mouthed his way down Draco’s abdomen, all the while caressing his thighs with both hands. “To have your cock thoroughly sucked, as a matter of fact.” He grinned, then licked a long stripe up the underside of Draco’s erection. Draco groaned his approval, especially as Kyle’s strong tongue circled the head a couple of times before his lips wrapped around it and sucked gently.
Draco’s cock twitched in anticipation. He had a feeling this was going to be good.
Kyle pulled off a moment to look at him, though his mouth lingered right there, his breath tickling Draco’s sensitive skin. “You can fuck my mouth some, if you want. I like that kind of treatment.”
Draco moaned and gave the top of Kyle’s head an encouraging stroke before nodding.
For all his awkwardness, for all his nervousness, Kyle seemed about to prove that there were arenas in which he had plenty of confidence.
Yeah, this was going to be good.
goddess-of_dragons: Oh, good, I’m glad. It did have to happen. Their arrangement as it was just couldn’t be sustained, and Draco has some stuff to figure out. As you can see your prediction was right on the money :) He did go to clubs and do some sleeping around. But in the end he knows that’s not satisfying either.
It means so much to hear that you find my work inspiring. I can’t even tell you. No pressure of course, because I know how hard it is to balance life and trying to write (especially with a two year old!), but I hope some day I can read your writing too! I would be so interested.
Shaymarsh640: Thank you!! It’s helpful to hear that, because I don’t want people to think I’m abandoning Unstoppable but I do really want to get this one done. Especially now that we’ve entered this angstier territory. It feels so wrong to have my boys not be together! I’m glad you’re anticipating what comes next.
You are so kind to say all that you said about my work. Even though it’s fanfiction I do still try to tell a good story and focus on the craft of writing, and it makes such a difference to know that there are those out there appreciating my efforts. I know I don’t get it right all the time, but it’s a great learning experience for me, working with these characters. I’m glad the fics don’t feel like a stretch because I definitely want to work within the world of Hogwarts and stay true to what I and so many others love about the books. But it’s so hard to get right sometimes! Anyway, I loved your review and all the wonderful things you had to say, so thank you!!! <3
Nowsthethyme: Oh man, I can’t even imagine reading those two chapters back to back. It would definitely be a rollercoaster! Still, I’m glad you enjoyed the glimpse into Harry’s world. I know the ending of 14 was bittersweet. It’s hard for me too, having to write the section of the story where they’re not together. But they’ll get there. We just have to hang on a little longer!
areyareddiekids: Thank you so much! It means a lot that you chose not to stay silent on this one and let me know how much you’re enjoying it! I’m so glad you like my Harry and the way their relationship has grown. I have really loved writing their evolutions as people and as a couple. I hope you will keep on reading and enjoying! <3
Teddy-Potter95: And you’re back and reading too! I’m so glad you enjoyed the chapters! I know they are feels-heavy and a lot to take, especially these two. You’ve got it exactly right that Draco doesn’t really understand how this relationship is so different from the ones Harry has had in the past, but that’s partially because Harry hasn’t told him. So he’s culpable too. They just aren’t doing a good job of communicating. It’s good to hear that you were surprised by the breakup. I do like to keep you on your toes :) Even though it is emotional. It will turn out happy in the end, I promise!
I think you’re totally right that I am more comfortable in the realm of smut now. This fic has helped a lot with that haha. Because there’s so damn much of it! I guess that’s why I wanted to take on this challenge. I’ve learned a lot! It’s great to hear that you feel my chapters are getting stronger as I go. That’s what we writers always hope for!
- 14
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- 16
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A Secondary Education