Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

To Be Alive	By : Snapeoutofit Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 10439 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: All characters and settings are the creation of JK Rowling. I own nothing of Harry Potter and make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-One
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Thirteen
- 14-Fourteen
- 15-Fifteen
- 16-Sixteen
- 17-Seventeen
- 18-Eighteen
- 14
- 15
- 16
Later that evening Hermione found herself curled up on the loveseat reading an old potions book that was full of Severus’ notes. She had been engrossed in it for nearly two hours. First she would read the potion straight through; not even glimpsing the notes. Then, on a second pass, she would dart between the text and the nearby annotations ensuring that she didn’t miss a single one. After putting down his own book, Severus had gone to the kitchen to make some tea.
“Honestly,” she spoke suddenly, “I cannot believe that we didn’t know it was yours when Harry had your old textbook. I mean, we saw your handwriting every day in class.” She threw one hand up in indignation. “I still don’t see how I missed it.”
Severus chuckled as he finished fixing Hermione’s tea with a splash of milk. He came back and passed her the mug. After sitting on the couch beside her, he placed his mug of the table and reached out to take her foot. He began rubbing it gently. She took a sip of her tea and set her cup down to continue reading.
He watched her reading and occasionally sipping her tea for several long moments. He delighted in the curves of her body draped across his loveseat. He enjoyed watching her chest rise and fall, and the way she occasionally squinted her eyes while twisting the book in order to make out every last word. He realized that there wasn’t a time he could remember when anyone had been as interested in him as she seemed to be. She listened to him and shared things with him and laughed with him. And she was so damn beautiful; so bloody brilliant. How could she be so perfect and be right here with him? She should be able to have her pick of the lot and, yet for some reason, she was here.
He thought back to their frenzied lovemaking in the lab that afternoon. After they composed themselves they quickly set the room back to rights and finished preparing the ingredients. He had been used to doing it all alone for so long, but he loved the way she did things. He loved how her knife rocked against the chopping board and the way she meticulously prepared each item. They had bottled each prepared ingredient and organized them for brewing the next day. Like his, her standards where high. That much was obvious.
As he reflected on his appraisal of her, Severus began to feel overwhelmed. He watched her turn another page.
“Hermione, I...” he began and then stopped suddenly.
“Hmm..?” She asked without looking up from her page. When he didn’t reply she looked up at him. “What’s wrong?” Her eyebrows furrowed.
“Hermione, I...was hoping I could take you to dinner,” he said shyly, a note of hesitation in his voice. It wasn’t what he had meant to say, but the sentiments that he was feeling in his heart, that he wanted to express, weren’t ready to roll off of his tongue just yet.
She smiled brightly at him. “That would be lovely. I need to freshen up a bit.”
Severus nodded and Hermione placed her book down on the table. She stood and leaned over to kiss him. “You could join me, if you’d like,” she suggested with a sweet smile.
Severus growled in her ear as he pulled away from her face. “You tempt me, woman.”
Hermione flashed and innocent smile in his direction as she began walking towards the staircase with Severus close behind her.
SSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHG
Hermione let her head fall back as she felt the bar of sandalwood and sage soap creating a rich lather across her chest, stomach, and between her legs. She leaned her head against the right shoulder behind her as Severus moved the soap over the planes of her smooth body. Her eyes were closed and the delicious scent filled her nostrils completely. She felt the bar dart between her legs as his fingers brushed against her skin.
She stepped out of the tub once they were washed and dried. Her and Severus padded into the bedroom to dress for dinner. Severus had slipped into his typical black trousers, white shirt, and jacket. Hermione dressed in her cigarette pants and heels from earlier. She chose to transfigure her top into an open-back turquoise blouse that tied shut at the neck and was ornamented with two bright pearls. When she approached him wearing this sleek and seductive ensemble his eyes immediately traveled over her body and then his hands found their way into her chestnut curls. She had left them loose and untamed; just as he preferred. A grin spread across his face as he relished in the thought of covertly running his fingers through her mane through the course of the night. He moved his hands away and appraised her as she moved closer to him. Tucking his sleeve back to form a cuff, he finally uttered, “Well damn, Hermione, if I’d known you were going to look like this...” He took her hand and spun her around as he leaned casually against the dresser, “I’d cave to my inclination that tells me to undress you right here and keep you in my bed so that no one else can see you.”
She blushed and let herself lean against him. She gave him a chaste kiss. “Or maybe that is precisely why you should take me out.”
She stood and he kissed her again as he chuckled quietly. When they could finally take their attention off of one another, Severus warded the house and Hermione took his arm before he apparated both of them to a small bistro on the banks of the Thames.
They approached the small French restaurant and greeted the host. “Two, please,” Severus gestured as they approached the host. The man gave Severus a curt nod before ushering them to a table. They sat beside a large open window and looked out over the water before reading their menus.
They placed their orders and began talking about anything and everything; from the way the moonbeams cast a magnificent glow over the river, to the trials, and their new partnership. Conversation carried easily now that they realized they had much in common to discuss.
“I can’t tell you how annoyed I was by running into you every time I went out. You are always too polite and courteous. It made me so angry that you were making it so difficult to be frustrated with you,” Severus explained with a laugh as he sipped from his glass of red wine.
Hermione smirked as she lifted her glass for a sip. “It seems that becoming a changed man has been rather difficult for you.”
Severus scoffed. If she only knew the half of it, he thought. He had to admit, at least to himself, in the last few weeks he’d been happier than ever before in his life. Sure, he had been trying to change and actively pursue a happier life, but it was her that made all the difference. She was the reason he was happy now. And with painfully realization, he thought of the feelings he had for her and it scared the shit out of him.
He brought himself back to the conversation. “Dreadfully difficult. I think I’ve just needed time,” he explained. Hermione replied with an agreeable nod. He thought himself a liar, however. Certainly time was a part of it, but he knew it was mainly because of her.
Finally, he put down his glass and looked at her seriously. He looked contemplative. There was something sad in his eyes suddenly. She eyed him cautiously as she took another sip of her wine.
“Hermione, I didn’t want to take you out to dinner tonight.” He sounded deflated as he spoke.
She put her glass on the table and looked at him with confusion and slight indignation. When he didn’t say anything else she replied, “well, alright then. I’m not entirely sure what we’re doing here then. Should I just go?”
“No, no that isn’t what I meant. It’s just that when I asked you to dinner earlier it was because I wanted to say something else and I couldn’t. I don’t even know if I can say it now.” He suddenly looked stressed, older.
“Well then what’s the point in bringing it up?” It was obvious that Hermione was becoming frustrated.
The waiter entered their vicinity and momentarily interrupted the impromptu quarrel. The food looked and smelled divine, although neither made a move to try a bite. After thanking the waiter they simply stared at one another momentarily. Finally Hermione broke the tension by picking up her knife and fork and cutting into her roast chicken. She took a bite and Severus silently followed suit. Fed up with his lack of forthcoming, Hermione leaned forward slightly and quietly asked “does this have anything to do with what you said to Harry on Sunday?”
Snape angrily let this fork fall back to the table. “He told you? Bloody hell I fucking knew he would.” Hermione leaned back nervously as she watched Snape’s anger bubble up.
“Calm down. No, he didn’t tell me anything. But you’ve both been odd. Suddenly he seems to be fine with the fact that I’m spending all my time with you. And you just go from hot to cold at the drop of a hat and I don’t know why.” She sounded exasperated.
Severus took a steadying breath. When he didn’t immediately speak Hermione picked up her glass and gulped down the rest of her wine.
“Hermione,” the sound of her name cut through the tension between them. His voice was melodious; gentle yet strong. He immediately captivated her attention. “I blurted out that I wanted to take you to dinner because I was trying to put words to the feelings I have for you and I just couldn’t do it.” She stared at him pensively. When she didn’t reply he drained the contents of his glass. “You deserve better than this.”
The statement was made quietly and between tight lips. Severus didn’t make eye contact wth her as the utterance occurred. Hermione stared back at him in shock.
“I deserve better than what, Severus? What is better than choosing to spend your time working and relaxing with someone you enjoy being with? What could either of us deserve that is better than being happy in each other’s company.” She poured herself another glass from the bottle that was sitting on the table and then she took a sip. “Did it ever occur to you that you may not be the only unhappy person in the world?”
She took another sip. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’ve been unhappy too? Brewing potions in my kitchen when I wanted to be working in a lab. Going to the Ministry each and every day when that place holds so many awful memories. Working at a mundane job when I’d rather be doing precisely what I am doing with you. Oh and please don’t forget coming home to my lonely flat each night instead of to the comfort of someone who actual gave a damn about me.” She sipped from her glass once more. “Just because someone appears happy doesn’t mean they actually are.”
He stared at her for an uncomfortably long time, but she refused to go on.
“Let’s go,” he stated firmly as he rose from the table. He opened his wallet and placed more than adequate payment on the table.
“We haven’t finished our...” Hermione was dumbfounded as he took her arm and pulled her up from the table. His hand was firm on her arm as he led her through the restaurant.
“Is everything alright, sir” the waiter asked as they bustled passed.
“Yes, thank you, but we must be going” Snape stated flatly without looking back. He led her outside onto the street and then took a quick right into a quiet ally.
“Apparate with me” he stated. She looked up at him with confusion, shock, and some concern in her eyes. “Please,” he added softly. He was looking deep into her eyes. Finally she nodded and took his arm. They both disappeared with a pop.
When they arrived back on Severus’ front porch, Hermione had no idea what to think. Without a word he led her inside. Once the door latched behind them, Severus let go of her hand. He spun around to face her and took several deep breaths before speaking. His voice was loud and clear. Not angry, but forceful.
“Hermione I, I think I need you. I’ve never needed anyone before but when you are here I feel like something inside of me that was knocked off kilter a long time ago suddenly shifts back into place. When you leave I still feel whole for a little while but if you’re gone too long I feel empty again. I am trying to understand, Hermione, but I shouldn’t love you like this and I don’t know what to do.”
She stared at him with big, wide eyes. He raked his fingers through his hair, stress evident on his face as he attempted to avoid her gaze. She finally walked forward to grab his chin, steadying his anxiety and forcing him to look at her.
Her voice was a whisper when she spoke. “Did you just say..”
He swallowed hard and nodded as she looked deep into his eyes. Her face softened with his frantic nodding. He looked embarrassed suddenly and tried to pull away. Hermione held him steady for a moment, trying to read the emotion behind his eyes. He swallowed again, and looked as if he might speak, but instead he shook her off and swiftly descended the stairs to the basement lab, leaving Hermione standing alone in the sitting room.
- 14
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- 16
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To Be Alive