Detention can change your life | By : Pandora Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 6802 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
16 Darkness again
Draco Malfoy went to his dorm and locked the door with several spells while he was hit completely unprepared by that sudden sadness. The boy felt like falling into a black hole and all his energy seemed to be drawn away by the darkness that surrounded him in a so familiar way. Tears were running down his cheeks and he felt lost in the hurricane of his own feelings not aware of his body or his surrounding anymore. Not noticing what he was up to he moved slowly to his drawer and pulled it open.
The silver-haired Slytherin took out his box of razorblades and a ghost of a smile appeared on his face like a grimace of grief. He opened the little box and withdrew one silver little blade with trembling hands. The blonde boy sank down to the ground beside his bed and pulled back his sleeve with one movement. The silver blade did its job very well and soon the arm was bleeding heavily from several deep cuts.
The warm feeling of dar dark red blood flowing across the pale skin woke the boy from his trance-like state of mind. Noticing what he did the blonde started to whimper and sobbed even more. It dawned on him that this wouldn’t end so fast and easy as he thought and his thoughts turned back to reality. Only to be aware of the problems didn’t include a solution it only stopped his rite of cutting for a short time and now it became stronger than before. He still wasn’t able to handle the pressure alone and his inner self-confidence was hurt deeply. It would be harder once more to hold his façade and rebuild the wall.
Draco panicked as he thought about his boyfriend and what he might be doing now feeling fear crawling to the surface of his mind. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to live without his lover and the comfort that they were able to give one another in exchange. The boys needed each other to heal their hurt souls but this task would be difficult and sometimes impossible because some wounds never heal properly. The sudden understanding made him feel weak and unable to handle these problems. How could someone help another person if he wasn’t able to deal with his own feelings. The silver-haired Slytherin felt building up his nearly famous Malfoy Rage and overshadowing his sadness and depressed feelings. The strength returned to his body and he was able to mentally kick his own ass and managed to stand up and straighten his appeae age again.
The blonde boy cleaned up the mess he caused and covered his fresh cuts under his sleeve before he loosened his ponytail and combed his tousled silky hair back. At that moment he heard a knock on his door and he asked, "Who’s there?" Draco heard Blaise answer quietly "It’s me. May I come in, please?"
The silver-haired boy took his wand and removed the Locking Spells calling "Come in".
The black-haired Slytherin rushed into the room looking very scared. The young Malfoy watched his friend and spoke harshly "What’s going on, Blaise?" The other boy took a deep breath and explained, "Harry returned five minutes ago and you better should look after him, Drake. I doubt that he’s able to make it alone."
Draco tried to calm down and followed the other boy who was leading him to the common room. The two boys entered the Slytherin common room and the blonde realized what the black-haired Slytherin meant. Millicent Bulstrode and Pansy Parkinson were holding the raven-haired boy with the unruly hair under his arms to prop him up and he wouldn’t be able to stand without the girls. Some younger students watched curiously and amused the scene until they were aware of the arriving boys and Malfoy’s glares in their directions. Harry wasn’t able to focus his eyes and it seemed that he didn’t notice where he was.
The two boys put their hands under the obviously drunken Slytherin’s arms and released the girls is wis weight leading and pushing the half unconscious boy towards his dormitory. Half on their way the black-haired boy with the tousled hair spoke with an unexpected clear voice "I’m getting sick .... Please can we go to the bathroom?"
A look on his white sweating face proofed his statement and the two Slytherins hurried to get their housemate into the next available bathroom before it would be too late.
A couple of minutes later the Boy-Who-Lived was kneeling in front of a toilet and vomiting out his stomach and it nearly took no end. Blaise was watching the scene from the door and Draco knelt behind his boyfriend and caressed his back. The Boy-Who-Lived passed out and hit his forehead against the toilet violently. Draco grabbed his lover’s shoulders and pulled him out of the narrow toilet cabin. The blonde noticed alarmed that the other boy must have vomited blood at least after his stomach was empty and he panicked. The two Slytherins carried the unconscious boy to his dorm and placed him on his bed talking about their options and what they could do now.
Blaise suggested, "Maybe we should inform Professor Snape or bring him into the infirmary."
"And humiliate him once more ..." Draco snorted angrily and unsure what to do. The black-haired boy said softly "Draco, he could have tried to kill himself with a toxic potion or else ..." and his voice trailed off.
The silver-haired boy answered quietly "If he would have tried to commit suicide he won’t have returned to the common room. No, he took the slow and painful way to destroy himself piece for piece."
The handsome raven-haired boy flinched as he heard the bitterly spoken comment and got the hint behind.
Blaise Zabini looked into the other boy’s face and saw the motionless expression but he was aware of the feelings behind these stormy ice blue eyes and wondered how these two boys managed to keep each other from destroying themselves every day and he shuddered not able to help or do something. A sudden noise caught the attention of the boys and they found Harry laying on his bed with open eyes and sighing deeply.
Draco glanced at his boyfriend and said softly "Harry, do you know where you are?"
The raven-haired boy with the lightning-shaped scar whispered hoarsely "Yes, you brought me to my dorm after I’ve passed out."
Blaise was surprised that the other boy’s thoughts still were very clear and he was even more surprised as he heard the drunken teen demand, "Blaise, I have to talk to Draco. Could you leave us alone, please?"
The black-haired boy with the ponytail left the room somehow released and the blonde boy took his boyfriend’s hand and squeezed it firmly.
Harry began to speak slowly "Draco, I’m really sorry that I was mad at you."
The silver-haired boy responded, "It was all my fault, Harry. I should apologize instead."
Knowing that it meant reaa loa lot if Draco Malfoy tries to apologize the Boy-Who-Lived changed the topic of their conversation a little and asked, "Are you angry because I’m fucking pissed and else ..." his voice was shaky.
The blonde frowned and wanted to know "What else?"
The black-haired boy looked down to his feet and breathed, "Some Antidepressiva."
Draco frowned and asked with a blank expression on his face "Some what?"
Harry closed his eyes and explained, "Oh, that’s some muggle stuff. It’s a sort of potion to help people forget their depressions but it’s able to increase the effects of drinking alcohol and vice versa."
The young Malfoy nodded knowingly and stated "You do that often, don’t you?"
The other boy still looked down on his feet and shrugged not knowing what to say.
Since Harry emptied his whole stomach the effects seemed to be less strong and Draco realized his chance to get some answers that a sober Harry wouldn’t give so easy. The blonde boy asked carefully "Harry, did you ever try to commit suicide or thought about it lately?"
The black-haired boy spoke with a nearly toneless voice "To be honest, yes. I did. I tried to kill myself the day after the punishment but for some odd reason I wasn’t able to do it properly and I failed. The wish to death is there most of the time, I have to admit, but I’m too tired and lethargic to really do it."
It was nearly unbearable to watch the boy talking without any expression in his face and the blonde was pretty sure that the other boy extracted his feelings from his mind.
It was strange to see Harry explain these feelings without any reaction and it affected the silver-haired boy somehow. The Boy-Who-Lived spoke about his sadness, grief and suicidal tendencies without being affected visibly like he has switched off his feelings or wasn’t able to feel it anymore. Draco was reminded of his own state of mind when he didn’t feel his body anymore if the pressure too too much and he decided to stop questioning the other boy because this situation was more difficult to handle than a crying or sobbing Harry. If the other boy only could do something like crying that Draco would be able to give him some comfort, but he didn’t. The silver-haired Slytherin cuddled himself up against his boyfriend and a single tear ran down his face. The black-haired boy slung tiredly his arm around his lover and they were laying there together in silence and both boys were resting after a hard time.
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