Matters of the Heart | By : strawberryf1re Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 34556 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6 |
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe (characters, settings, etc.) ©J.K. Rowling. No profits are made from this work. |
Rating: M – inappropriate for readers under the age of 16; contains scenes of explicit sexuality and violence.
Disclaimer: Characters and settings ©J.K. Rowling
Matters of the Heart
K. Marie
Chapter 16
Hermione insisted that she and Severus spend more time working on her project than they had been (which had been no time at all). That Christmas Eve afternoon, she dragged her lover to the basement, which was indeed equipped with a very extravagant laboratory. Severus' Christmas gift for Hermione was that he had secretly transported all of her work to his home for her to work with, and when she recognized this, she gasped with glee.
"Oh, Severus! You sneaky thing, you!" she clapped her hands together with elation, turning to embrace Severus in an overbearing hug.
He couldn't help but chuckle at her happiness, and he felt as though, if he were capable of such a thing, he would burst with joy as well. It had been a very long time since he had been able to give to someone something they thought so wonderful, and he had forgotten what it felt like.
Her expression rapidly transformed from glee to gloom, as she exclaimed, "Severus, I didn't get anything for you!"
The silly girl, Severus thought. Had she no idea just what she has given him in recent months? He doubted any gift in the world she could offer him would hold greater significance to him than the love she had given him.
Severus, who had shrugged out of her bear-like embrace, shook his head. "Hermione, you have bestowed to me the greatest of all gifts. You have given me your heart. I need nothing more."
Hermione smiled, wrapping her arms around him once more and kissing him deeply. "Severus, months ago I would have pinned you as anything but a romantic. I never would have imagined this side of you."
With his hands on her hips, the corner of Severus' mouth twitched into a smirk. "Well, as you can imagine, Miss Granger – it would be especially inappropriate if I revealed to my students my romantic side."
Hermione smiled at this, and she couldn't help but imagine Severus dressed as Gilderoy Lockhart, with extravagant dress robes in beautiful colors, his black hair tied back with a matching ribbon. It was a humorous sight to see, and she laughed out loud.
"Let us get to work, shall we?" Severus offered, interrupting her rather amusing train of thought.
"Oh, yes!" Hermione exclaimed, hurrying to the workbench her supplies had been placed upon.
Her textbook rested there, alongside an assortment of vials and jars. To the left of her table stood a case of various reagents and to the left of that there was a door leading to a room full of further supplies. She turned to Severus, awaiting her instruction.
"Open your book to page seven hundred eighty-six," he stated, approaching the table as well. He peered over her shoulder to the entry on the page, prepared to answer any questions she may have.
Hermione set right to work, moving to the shelving to collect the ingredients necessary. She also disappeared into the storeroom on several occasions to pull out various jars of reagents, setting them delicately down on her workbench. She tied her hair back and donned her apron and gloves. When it appeared she did not need any assistance, Severus sat down behind the small desk he had in his laboratory, to do as he usually did while she worked: he graded papers.
With as much of his time he had invested in Hermione, he admitted he was falling behind in his class work. He had a stack of fifth year papers that he hadn't so much as glanced at since they had been turned in, and he begrudgingly set them on his desktop, dipping his quill in red ink and marking where appropriate – which turned out to be nearly every paragraph of every page of every paper.
Hermione continued to work several hours on the assigned potion. He had instructed her to craft the fire protection potion that she and Harry consumed when they were in their first year to bypass the flames. She was quite excited to work on this assignment, as she had never actually tried to brew anything of the sort and it was proving a challenge, indeed!
By the second hour, Severus had finished his task and was hovering over Hermione, watching her work. He absolutely enjoyed observing her, as she had an extraordinary work ethic and a fascinating fashion of operating. She became so absorbed in her work, it was as though the world around her did not exist, and she only broke her concentration when she was uncertain of something. The way she behaved when working reminded Severus very much of himself; on several occasions, the Potions Master found himself imagining he and Hermione several years later, working together on difficult concoctions, and breaking from their work only to make love. He had to admit, while the thought was romantic at best, he enjoyed it very much.
After she had finished, she turned to Severus. "I believe it's done."
Severus stalked to the workbench, his hands clasped behind his back, to examine her work. It appeared to be a rather exceptional brew, and Severus was pleased with his apprentice. He looked at her.
"I will have you add several more ingredients tomorrow morning – if you recall from your escapades in your first year, I had crafted several of these to protect its consumer from different flames. I will have you do the same," he explained. "How long does this need to set before it is ready for differentiation?"
"Eighteen hours," Hermione answered quickly. "And it needs to cool; it cannot simmer over the open flame, but instead set in a cool, dark place." Hermione knelt down to the blaze beneath the cauldron and used her wand to extinguish the flame.
Severus cast a charm over the cauldron that covered it in darkness, and Hermione assumed beneath that cover it was also significantly cooler than in the rest of the basement. She was eager to continue working but knew she had to wait, and became aware of the tightness in her stomach as it growled in hunger.
Severus, too, noticed her hunger, as her stomach growled. He looked at her, his eyebrow cocked. "Shall we eat?"
Hermione nodded. "I hadn't realized quite how famished I am,' she admitted. "But I am absolutely starving!"
They ate in Severus' kitchen, discussing the day's news over an open Daily Prophet. The wizarding world had no news to offer, truly, and it was quite evident by the absurd articles published in the paper that morning. Severus also had subscribed to the London daily paper, and that lay to the side of the Daily Prophet. Hermione folded it open.
She opened first to the obituaries, a grim habit Severus found himself doing several mornings out of the week. He watched her as she browsed the deaths, and breathed a sigh of relief with her when she knew none of the deceased.
"Every morning I wake with a small sense of dread," Hermione admitted. "I check the obituaries for the unexplained death of someone. When there's nothing but deaths from 'natural causes' or a 'long illness,' I know that we have perhaps one more day of peace."
Severus understood very well what she spoke of. He found himself doing the very same on most mornings, looking for any sign of Voldemort's activity, anything at all that would clue him into the Dark Lord's activity. He had been laying low for far too long, and with Severus having heard nothing from him, it was very disconcerting.
Grib cleared the table once Severus declared they were finished with their meal. Severus led Hermione to his library, where he took a seat and pulled her by the hips into his lap. She scooted into the crook between his leg and the arm of the chair, resting against him.
"I think this is the nicest holiday vacation I've had in a very long time, Severus," Hermione kissed him. "Thank you."
"Hermione, you haven't any idea how enjoyable your company has been," Severus combed his fingers through her hair. He strained to look into her eyes, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.
She rested her head against his shoulder.
Severus reached to the table beside him and lifted a book he had been reading between classes. Setting it in his lap, he cracked it open at the page he last left, and began to read. Hermione's eyes flickered shut as she listened to his even, slow breathing. She twisted her fingers in his hair.
"What was Christmas like when you were young?" she asked, her voice soft.
The flickering movement of Severus' eyes stopped immediately when she asked her question. He breathed in deep, closed the book, and began stroking Hermione's back with his fingers. A small sigh escaped him as he tried to remember the happiest Christmas he had. As sad as it was to admit, it was a hard thing to recall.
"It was small, quiet," Severus answered, dragging his fingers along her spine. "It was not unlike this Christmas we will share here, except I expect this Christmas to be the happiest I've had."
Hermione did not want to press further because she suspected Severus did not have very many happy memories to share with her as a child, and it saddened her. Every day, she came to understand him more and more, and she also realized that she had always been so mistaken about him.
"Severus," Hermione began softly, her fingers tugging through his hair gently. "I love you."
"And I love you, Hermione," he replied, pressing a kiss to her head before returning to his book.
A long while passed in silence, Hermione's small hands pulling through the silky length of Severus' black hair. The quiet whispering rustle of paper disturbed the otherwise perfect silence, and Hermione allowed her eyes to flicker closed against his even breathing. And then, she remembered the gifts she had failed to send.
Hermione stood from Severus' lap, to the surprise of the Potions Master. He looked up at her, curious.
"I have a few gifts I need to send out before it gets too late and the owls can't get there in time," she told him, and he simply nodded.
It was about an hour later when Hermione emerged from Severus' bedroom, having sent all of her gifts. As she entered the library, she spotted Severus in his armchair, absorbed in his reading. She smiled, deciding to leave him be for the time being. She had some reading she had to do as well for her classes when school resumed, and she felt it was the ideal time to begin working on it. She acquired her Transfiguration text from her bag and nestled into Severus' lap, cracking the book on her lap. The couple read in silence until the sunset.
Severus discovered it was becoming increasingly difficult to read the tiny print on the pages. Curiously, he looked up from his book to discover that the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon. He turned his attention onto Hermione, who, too, was squinting to read the words of the book in her lap. He waved his hand and the room was suddenly illuminated by candles.
"Oh, that is so much better, thank you," Hermione said, looking up at Severus. "I would like to get ahead with my reading before school starts again," she began, setting her book down. "I've a lot of reading to finish – I hope you don't mind."
Severus shook his head. "That is absolutely fine, Hermione. I would not forgive myself if your education suffered because of me."
Hermione smiled. "I knew you'd understand."
They spent the remainder of their Christmas Eve, nestled in the armchair, reading. It was not unlike how Severus had spent his previous Christmases, except that he was not alone this year. He had wondered how he had been blessed with her love, how he had come to deserve it after he had committed such a horrible crime against her. He questioned it every day, wearily prepared for the day she decided that her relationship with him was just absolutely preposterous. But tonight, he was determined to solely enjoy her company there, without wondering what he had done in his life to deserve such an honor.
As the night approached, Hermione finally pulled her attention away from her reading. Severus was heavily absorbed in his own book and she shifted against him, drawing his attention. He looked at her, the lines in his face exaggerated by the candlelight. She suddenly became very aware of their difference in age, and with her fingers she gently traced the lines around Severus' mouth. He allowed it, watching her eyes trace the very same lines.
"Severus, you appear much older than you are," she said finally, her voice solemn. "I hate to know the stresses your body endures. It has aged you, it must have."
The corners of Severus' mouth tugged into a sympathetic smile. "Indeed, Hermione. I do what I must, the consequences be damned."
Hermione frowned, shaking her head. "Sometimes I think you do too much," she said.
He could have chuckled, if he knew she wasn't serious. But she indeed was quite serious, and she had reason to be concerned. A man of nearly thirty-seven, and yet the harsh lines etched in his face told the tale of a man in his fifties. Perhaps when the war was over, he could truly "settle down" and enjoy a life of teaching – if the students he had to instruct grew any smarter, that is. Perhaps he could actually invest a new home, a home with no history; a home in which he could forge new memories.
But until the war ended, such thinking was wishful at best. Severus lived day-to-day, and he would continue to until Voldemort was defeated.
Hermione had risen from the Potions Master's lap to retrieve a different textbook, this one for her ancient runes class. He took advantage of the moment to stand and stretch his legs, which were becoming tight under the pressure of her weight. As she moved back into the room, he sat down once more, and she returned to his lap.
Somewhere around ten o'clock, he interrupted her reading. She looked at him, her eyes glossy.
"I think it's about time we go to the bedroom," he suggested, though his tone of voice insinuated he had no intentions on actually sleeping.
Hermione smiled in agreement, rubbing at her eyes to push the sleep away. She rose from his lap, setting her book down on top of the side table, and followed him into the bedroom. There they succumbed not to sleep, but to the bodies of each other. Severus, impatient, removed every article of clothing she wore, planting kisses on the newly exposed flesh as soon as it was bared to him.
Once she was nude, he slowly laid her back into his bed and shrugged out of his own robes. He climbed the length of her, kissing every inch of her body he came across. Her lips were curled into a seductive smile as she pushed up towards him to kiss him deeply. She lowered her hands to his member, already hardening, and stroked it slowly.
His strong hands fondled her breasts as he kissed her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth hungrily. With her free hand, she pushed his hair out of his face, pulling away from the kiss to kiss his neck. His jaw and face were rough with hair, and it scraped against the soft skin of her face, sending a chill down her spine.
Hermione bent her legs, letting them fall open to surround Severus. He lowered his manhood to her, pressing in at her opening. She let out a soft moan as he pushed himself into her, filling her. As they moved together in the candlelight, their soft sighs of pleasure surrounding them, they forgot the world outside of where they were, and all that existed was them.
Daylight approached rapidly, and Severus found himself wakeful far too early in the morning hours. Through the darkness of his bedroom, he could barely see the sleeping form of Hermione, her body turned to him, her arm across his waist. His eyes followed the mountains of sheets that conformed to the curves of her body. Her face was angelic in the soft glow of the early morning hours, and he placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead.
He loved her, dearly, and if he had nothing more in this world than time with her he thought he could accept that. He could not remember the last time he had felt this way. Certainly, his unrequited love for Lily had endured many, many years – through her rejection of him, through her relationship with Potter, through the birth of their son – and it would endure still. Severus knew he would always love her, as though her name were burned into the muscle of his heart. The scars she gave him, inadvertently so, would remain until his dying breath.
But Lily, she had not reciprocated his love. She cared for him as a close friend, and while his slip-of-the-tongue had not changed that, she had never forgiven him. His interest in the dark arts only intensified from there, and as he invested himself more deeply in dark magic, she pulled further and further away from him. Once she decided to give James Potter a chance – that was a blow too severe for Severus to recover from. His heart was shattered, and yet it would continue to love her for many years. A love that would drive his life into the light, a love that would force him to sacrifice everything.
He had never known what it felt like to have that turned onto him. Severus had never been loved so dearly, so passionately, that one would die if it meant to save him. Certainly, he had those who were loyal to him, those would do anything to help him if it was within their means – but to Severus, love was to do anything to help another person, even if it is without your means, even if it meant your death. Severus had loved Lily in that way, and even after she was so callously murdered, he continued to love her in that way, to preserve her legacy, to protect her son.
And then by some fateful turn, with the arrival of Harry Potter to the school, a girl, not so unlike Lily, accompanied him. A Muggleborn girl, so much brighter than her pure- and half-blooded peers, who believed she had to prove her worth in the wizarding world, to prove that she was indeed worthy of the time and effort spent to educate her. A girl, whose wit and intellect were only matched by her compassion and capacity for love. A woman who, when faced with the most devastating of circumstances, was strong enough to rise above her terror and agony to forgive and to love, indiscriminately, completely.
For a very long time he thought perhaps he was incapable of being loved, for he had done some heinous things in his lifetime. If there were a god, and Severus was not so sure if there was or was not, surely he would be punished for the crimes he had committed. Surely his punishment was to be unloved, for who could love someone who had done as he had? Severus hoped that some day, he would cease questioning her love of him, and accept her affections as something he truly deserved.
When Hermione had confronted him about an apprenticeship position, Severus hesitantly accepted her. He wondered at times, foolishly perhaps, if his hesitancy was not so much his deliberate attempt at being asinine, but perhaps because, somewhere inside of him, he knew that she was endangering herself by doing so. He may not have predicted raping her, but he knew that she would spend a great amount of her time in the dungeons working on her project, and spending that much time with him could only condone the development of a relationship. If she had come to care for him, she surely would be in danger of harm – perhaps not only emotional, but physical. He didn't want another woman he loved to meet the same demise.
As he watched her sleep, he realized that it was only time he needed before he would come to care for her. She was so much like Lily in so many ways, he knew – he knew that he would come to love her before long, despite of how inappropriate such feelings would have been.
As the sun rose higher in the sky, the darkened bedroom became more illuminated and her sleeping face was clearer to him. A small sound came from her, and she moved in closer to the Potions Master, instinctively seeking his warmth. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into him, kissing her neck gently.
"Happy Christmas, Severus," her voice was heavy with sleep, the words nearly garbled.
Severus felt his cheeks lift in a small smile as she raised her face to look into his. With glazy eyes, she stared into the depths of his, and placed a kiss upon his lips.
"Happy Christmas, Hermione," he responded finally. "I hope I did not wake you."
"With gentle kisses such as those, I hardly think it was a rude awakening, regardless," Hermione said, her voice soft.
She slowly sat up, the sheets falling to her lap to expose her naked form. Severus touched the smooth skin of her back, watching her rise from the bed and pull on her sleeping clothes. He, too, rose from the bed, donning his sleeping gown and leading her to the sitting room. Turning to watch her face, his lips twitched into a small smile as the realization came to her that he had, once again, surprised her.
As she entered the sitting room, it seemed unusually lighted to her. And then, it came into her view: a tall Christmas tree, glittering beautifully with flame and pretty metal ornaments. A huge smile crossed her face, threatening to tear her cheeks in two. She turned to Severus.
"When—How?" she exclaimed. She hadn't yet noticed the gifts sitting at the foot of the tree addressed in her name.
"That is my surprise for you, my dear," he said. "It seems you have some gifts, as well."
Hermione bent to the presents, pulling them out one-by-one. There weren't many, but it was more than she expected. She looked up at Severus, who had seated himself in his armchair, watching her with mild intrigue. Suddenly, she felt bad.
"But there's nothing here for you," she said, sadly.
"Ah, but you are mistaken, Miss Granger," his oily voice crooned silkily. "You are here, and that is all I desire."
Her cheeks turned pink as she returned to the gifts, peeling the wrapping paper to reveal the items inside. A scarf from Mrs. Weasley, a box of chocolates from Ron, a photograph in a frame from Portugal from her parents, a tiny trinket from Dobby, and a book on alchemy from Harry (how he knew she didn't already possess that book, she'd never know).
A tiny gift remained beneath the tree that Hermione nearly overlooked, and when she lifted it, Severus' expression changed just slightly. As she delicately removed the paper, her eyes widened as she realized it was a tiny black velvet box. Flipping open the cover revealed a silver ring with a sapphire set in the crown, and she looked up at Severus.
"It was my mother's," Severus said softly. "And as I understand it, sapphire is the stone of September."
Hermione pulled the ring out of the box, examining it. "Yes, sapphire is my birthstone… It's beautiful, Severus. Thank you." She slipped the ring onto her finger, and the band shrank slightly to fit her finger. "I'm honored, truly."
Severus rose from his seat, wrapping his arms around Hermione's waist. "The honor is mine, Miss Granger," he said, his voice soft. He leaned into her to kiss her gently.
"Breakfast, Master Snape," came a creaky voice from the kitchen. Severus turned towards the doorway, and the house elf was setting the table in the kitchen.
For the most part, their Christmas day was uneventful. Hermione poked and prodded Severus about any surviving family he had, which she was sad to learn there were not many. Changing the subject, he inquired about her family and their customs on the holidays.
"Since about my third year, my parents would vacation during the holiday, as I preferred to stay with Harry and Ron," Hermione replied. "Those two are absolutely abysmal at writing letters, you know. They forget, and I never hear from them over breaks – so I took to accompanying them to the Burrow. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are very accommodating, and they've become like my second parents."
Severus nodded, listening to her talk. He knew the Weasleys quite well, having spent much of his time at Number 12, Grimmauld Place. He had been the one to brew the antidote for Arthur Weasley when he was attacked by Nagini, by request of the Weasley patriarch – many of Severus' acquaintances were quite familiar with his alchemy skill, and trusted only him to brew potions especially when pertaining to their health. Severus also understood completely when Hermione spoke of their indulgent nature, as he had been invited to dinner on several occasions when Molly was cooking at the Order's home base.
Not to mention, he had taught each of the Weasley children. When a family has as many children as Arthur and Molly – which was, admittedly, quite rare – one becomes quite acquainted with the parents.
He watched her as she told him of stories from her childhood, humorous tidbits from family gatherings that made her laugh. Her happiness was contagious, and when she giggled, a smile crept across Severus' face, and on a few occasions even he released an uncharacteristic chuckle. During her story-telling, her face would turn pink when the humor was at her expense, and those were the stories he enjoyed most. Not for her embarrassment – a thing he appreciated greatly in the past (and had even sought to cause it, on occasion) – but because she was confessing to him that she was not a perfect individual, and she too had blunders.
He couldn't help but hope that the day would last into eternity, as it had been the best Christmas he'd had.
A little bit after noon, Hermione hurried back into the basement. She had almost forgotten she had a potion cooling in the dark. Severus followed after her, descending the stairs slowly. Hermione waved her wand and the cauldron was free of its cover. Donning her protective wear, she prepared to work.
Severus stood behind her, observing her quietly. She divided her potion into several different vials, setting them on the table beside her cauldron. When she turned to face Severus, he took a step forward, first examining her work.
"Very good, Hermione. Quite impressive, indeed. This is one of the more difficult potions to brew, and it appears you have performed exceptionally well," he said, and he could tell she was swelling with pride. "Open your textbook, and follow the directions there. Come to me when you are finished."
Hermione did as instructed, opening her book. There, the instructions for the varying subtypes of the fire protection potion guided her through the process. It took her about two hours to complete the task. As she was removing her apron, Severus descended the stairs to check on her progress.
"Severus," she said. "I believe I'm finished. Do you want to take a look?"
Severus swept across the room to her workstation. He lifted each vial, one by one, examining the contents within. It seemed with each sample he grew more pleased, his black eyes glittering in satisfaction. Hermione rocked on the balls of her feet as her mentor examined her work, growing apprehensive as each minute ticked by. It seemed like eons of silence had passed before Severus had finally reached the last vial, lifting it into his hands and considered its contents carefully.
"Hermione, you have done very well," he said finally, setting the vial down. "Quite well, indeed."
Her face broke into a huge smile, quite pleased with the praise. "Thank you very much, Severus!" she exclaimed. "I'm going to finish my notes here, and then I'll clean up."
He vacated the basement, ascending the stairs to the main floor of his home. Hermione bent over a long roll of parchment, hurriedly scrawling her notes, the smile never leaving her face.
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