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Shades of Grey	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 103925 -:- Recommendations : 6 -:- Currently Reading : 21
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money off this dance in the realm of strangeness and smut

Chapter List
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Chapter 16

Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. You're the best, woman, and thank you!

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Riding the stairway up to the headmaster's office, Severus wasn't sure what to think of the meeting that was coming. On one hand, he was hoping to get some kind of information about what the old man knew on a number of topics so he and Lucius weren't fumbling blindly in the dark with so much of this. On the other hand, though, he was worried about a large portion of what he might hear. Honestly, with most of what he and his cohort had discovered thus far with things, he wasn't sure how well he was going to take what he might hear. He was certain that a sizable number of the old goat's plans were something that was going to ignite his temper in a way most things hadn't in a very long time.

Stepping off the moving stairway, he walked into Dumbledore's office. Normally, the man was already there, waiting on him, sitting behind his desk and ready to offer him a lemon sherbert. That wasn't the case this time. In fact, the old wizard was nowhere to be seen. Brow slightly puckered, Severus looked around, wondering where he could be when Dumbledore's voice called to him from the other room. Nodding, feeling more tension fill him, Severus stepped into the open door of a small room off the office. This was a sort of private chamber with no paintings in it and surrounded by privacy spells. It was something the aged headmaster used for some of the more secretive meetings that had to do with the Order or other matters of a highly confidential nature.

Seating himself at the small table across from the headmaster, he turned down the usual lemon sherbert offer and for tea. Shifting to get comfortable, he waited to see what this was about.

Popping one of the sweets into his mouth, Dumbledore leaned back in his chair then asked, “Is there any news about Harry from Tom's end of things?”

“No, nothing,” Severus said with a shake of his head. “In fact, there was a meeting just a couple days ago about Mr. Potter's disappearance, right before the article showed up in the Prophet. He had, apparently, been given warning that it was coming and was livid that no one seems to know where the boy is. It was followed by a very long torture session for many of his followers.”

Nodding gravely, Dumbledore sighed then asked, “Do you think this is a show or that he really doesn't know, Severus?”

“It's my feeling that he really doesn't know,” Severus told him firmly. “He's sent many beings out for information on what is known about the whole situation. He even has Lucius Malfoy digging things up through his contacts in the Ministry and Prophet. It does appear that no one seems to know anything about Mr. Potter's whereabouts.”

“I was afraid of that,” Albus sighed, looking down, stroking his beard.

“The wand-- was it Mr. Potter's as reported in the paper?” Severus asked softly. Though he already knew it was, it was a question that would be expected from him.

“It was,” Albus told him, looking grave. “It was broken clean in two. They can't determine anything other than that with it because it's broken and can't be repaired. And with the wand goes the Trace. Even before the wand turned up, no one was having any luck using the Trace to find him. That tells me that the wand may have been broken long before.”

“Or he's dead,” Severus added, ensuring there was a grave tone in his voice.

“That is always possible,” Albus said, looking worried. “I don't think it's the case, though. What has happened I'm not sure, but I don't think Harry is dead. We just don't have any idea who might have him or where he's being kept is all.”

“The Dark Lord is leaning towards the Ministry on this,” Severus told him honestly, leaving out the fact that it was he who put that bug in the maniac's ear.

“And the Ministry is now actually leaning towards foul play by one of Tom's followers,” Albus told him, looking at the man. “Could that be the case?”

Stopping, pretending to think for a few moments, Severus then shook his head, “I don't think so. That last torture session would have loosened many tongues. If one of his followers had the brat, someone would have said something or given a clue considering how bad it was.”

“Tell me, Severus, was Lucius Malfoy one of the ones tortured or not?” Albus asked, thoughtfully.

“No, why?” Severus asked, brow furrowing.

“I ran across something odd in a paper from the United States,” Albus told him distractedly, leaning over and grabbing one of the American Wizarding papers. Leafing through it, he found the article he was looking for then handed it over. As Severus read it, he said, “Minerva alerted me to the fact that Draco has been removed from Hogwarts' list of students. Narcissa filed for divorce in California and, from what I hear, Lucius has seemingly vanished. He is around as I heard he was at the Ministry yesterday, but he's no longer at Malfoy Manor or any of his other houses most know about.”

Reading through it, Severus nodded slowly, not liking where this might be going. Although Lucius had made sure they were all protected enough that they wouldn't be found, he didn't want the headmaster leaning that direction either. Finishing the article, he put the paper on the table then leaned back. “You think Lucius may be behind this?”

“I don't know,” Albus told him with a sigh and shake of his head. “I really don't, Severus. Getting through the wards alone wouldn't be something I thought Lucius could manage on his own. We all know he has many contacts that can do things for him, but he wouldn't have used those for something like this. I'm just running out of ideas as to who this might be. The Dark Mark above the house tells me it’s most likely one of Tom’s followers, though I would have thought they’d have turned Harry over by now it that were the case.”

“No one has. Nor does the Dark Lord have any idea who might have the boy. It's become a rather pressing issue to him as well. He's more focused on finding Potter right now than any other plans,” Severus told him truthfully.

“That has me concerned. Like I said, I think Harry is alive. Where he is, I don't know, but I do think he's alive.” Stopping, he then looked at the Potions Master and said, tone grave, “We need to find him, Severus, before Tom does.”

“That goes without saying,” Severus told him, folding his arms over his chest.

“I'm going to need your help in tracking down some spells to try to locate or trace him. We need to find one somewhere. There is something there that Tom is going to figure out before long if Harry is alive and it'll give him an advantage that he doesn't need. It's also something that can lead him to Harry.” Albus told him, a worried look on his face.

Brow drawing down, more for show than anything else, Severus asked, “If we can't find him, how can the Dark Lord?”

With a sigh and shake of his head, Albus told him, “There is a connection between Harry and Tom. That's why he gets some of the visions he does. I'm certain that connection is a two way street. Tom hasn't figured it's there yet, but he will. When he does, he can use it to find Harry. That's why we have to find him first.”

“What kind of connection?” Severus asked, leaning forward. This is what they wanted to know about. Sure, they knew about the connection, but they wanted an idea of what the old goat knew about it and how it might be involved in his plans.

With a sigh, shoulders slumping, Albus said, “That night at Godric's Hollow, Tom created a connection with Harry accidentally. It's also how both managed to survive.” Slowly, the aging headmaster walked Severus through the whole thing with the Horcrux though he didn't use that term.

Nodding here and there, Severus took it all in. As it matched up what they had found out, he was relieved on that front. However, he was more tense about what it could mean when it came to plans the old man had for Harry. After Albus stopped, he asked, “How would one get rid of the connection? If the Dark Lord finds out about it, he will, as you said, use it to his advantage and that will lead him to Potter before we can get to the brat.”

“That's the problem, Severus, we can't.” Dumbledore sighed and rubbed his eyes in a tired way. “Tom did something that night, unwittingly, he's done before. It's the reason he continues to live and will do so no matter what we try.” Then, for the first time, he told Severus about the Horcrux, or at least that he suspected that's what it was. When he finished, he said, keeping his tone low though it contained a distinct thread of weariness, “I don't think it's the only one he created, Severus. That diary was one as well. I suspect there is more than that. No matter what we do right now, as long as Harry lives or those other Horcruxes are out there, Tom will continue on as well. He can't die until they are all destroyed.” Looking at Severus, he said, “That prophecy you overheard, it says only Harry can destroy Tom. I believe that's because Tom doesn't realize what he's done with Harry.”

Starting to seethe, knowing something was coming that was going to royally anger him, Severus asked, tone level like it always was, “How does one get rid of such a thing? If the Dark Lord finds Potter, he's going to kill him.”

“The only thing that will get rid of it is Harry's death,” Dumbledore told him softly, looking at the table. “Right now, we can't let that happen. We have to destroy the others first. The only one that can end Tom is Harry. The prophecy tells us that. As the prophecy is still on the shelves and has not been invalidated, that tells me Harry is still alive. We have to find him, Severus. Once the Horcruxes are gone, at least the other ones, then Harry will have to die. He won't, of course, he'll survive like he did the last time, then he can end Tom.”

Sitting there, staring at the old man, Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was raising Harry to sacrifice himself for the 'greater good' and make sure he faced the darkest wizard ever because of a prophecy. Rubbing his face, he said, softly, “Potter had a rotten childhood, one you knew about, and from the time he came to school you've been grooming him to die?”

“There is no other way, Severus. That prophecy makes it clear only Harry can do this,” Albus told him softly, looking at the man in black. “Only Harry. I've done everything I could to prepare and give him what he needs, including an advantage Tom doesn't know about. It has to happen this way. The prophecy makes that clear. Which means we have to find Harry before Tom can. If Tom tries to kill him before the rest of the Horcruxes are gone, Harry is going to have a harder time finishing it.”

Nodding slowly, seething, Severus locked his eyes on the floor. Really what he wanted to do was reach out and slug the man then walk out forever. He couldn't do that though. Too much was riding on him staying in Dumbledore's good graces as his pet spy. After he was sure his temper was locked away, he asked, “What advantages does he have? As far as I can tell, Potter is nothing but average in everything. He's a sub-par student that doesn't seem motivated to do anything but strut around the castle like his father and break the rules.” Honestly? For the first time he felt guilty about saying something like that. The Harry he was getting to know was nothing like he had perceived him to be in the past or like his father in anything but looks.

Sighing, Albus said, “In making sure he faced Tom in the past, Harry will know what does and doesn't work. It's also strengthened what he can do. He's learned many things from each of those encounters he can build on.”

“So, you let them happen?” Severus asked softly.

With a regretful nod, Albus told him, tone weary, “I had to, Severus. It's the only way to guide Harry to do what needs to be done.”

Nodding, Severus said nothing. Though he thought much of this for a while now, hearing it confirmed made his stomach clench and his temper soar. It galled him to realize that he had unwittingly played a part in taking someone who had a childhood much like his own and shaping him into something that was nothing but a weapon against the Dark Lord. Not only that, he was helping to set the young man up to die and hope it wasn't a permanent thing. Even worse than that? Someone Harry trusted and looked up to was guiding him to his death. That was wrong.

“Something else happened that night as well. Tom bound Harry's magic. After he killed Lily and James, he faced an infant that wasn't as vulnerable as he thought. The power Harry has could have saved him. Tom couldn't risk it so he bound it before he cast the killing curse. From what I know, about half of Harry's magic is bound. When he dies to get rid of the Horcrux, he will come back with twice the power he had before. That will give him an advantage that Tom won't be able to defend against.” Sighing, Albus shook his head. “I know that's put Harry at a distinct disadvantage in so much, especially with his schoolwork, but I made sure Poppy left the binding on. I couldn't let anyone realize the kind of power that is there. I made a deal with Ollivander to make sure Harry got the brother wand to Tom's so he could have some better defenses for the time being. I knew that would be compatible with him because of the piece of Tom that resides in that scar. As I found out later, I was right. It's the best I could do. He's going to need all the help he can get when he faces Tom the final time.”

Looking at Albus, Severus was ready to hex the man. However, he kept it under control. Instead, he asked, keeping his normal tone, not letting anything show on his face, “I need to ask; why are you telling me this? All of it? Have you imparted this to anyone else?”

“No one else knows, Severus, only you. I didn't want to tell anyone. With what is going on now, I need you to understand the gravity of the situation and see what you can do about finding information for me. I need help and you're the only one I can trust with this. You're in Tom's camp, you hear things the rest of us don't so you need to be aware to look for signs others can't. I didn't want to lay more on your shoulders than is already there, but I’m at the point I don't have a choice,” Albus told him gently, looking at him.

Nodding, understanding, Severus looked down as though he were thinking about it. What he was really doing, though, was seething. His vow all along, the reason he had even gone to Albus in the first place, was to protect Harry. That's what he promised Lily. What he was now hearing was that Albus seemed to think that 'protecting Harry' meant setting him up to die. Oh, he was certain the aging headmaster thought he was right and that Harry wouldn't really die because of the Horcrux, but the man was human which meant he made mistakes. No—just—no! He couldn't do this. Right now what he needed to do was get out of this place and think before he did something he would regret, like curse the man seated across from him to death. That wouldn’t help anything and he knew it.

Taking Severus' silence as the man thinking it over and trying to digest it, Albus told him gently, “I know this is a lot to lay on your shoulders, Severus, but I have no one else I can go to for help. Others are too emotionally involved with Harry for me to let them know what is going on. You're the only one that isn't and can see the situation clearly. That's what I need now. Between the two of us I'm sure we can come up with a spell or other way to track where he is. You can also keep your ear to the ground and look for hints as to who might have him,” Albus imparted. Though his tone was gentle, the one he used to persuade people to do what he wanted, it was firm as well, something he knew most wouldn't refuse.

“I understand,” Severus nodded, looking back at the aging headmaster. “As always, I'll assist in any way I can. Do you have an idea where I should start looking? Already we've run through the repertoire I have of such spells that could be used. I'm at a loss as to where to look for something else. If you haven't found anything, I'm not certain I can either.” On Severus' end, this was a ploy to get him out of the damned office and away from Dumbledore before he couldn’t control his temper anymore. That was coming and he knew it. No, he needed to get out of there before the damned old goat pushed him further than he already was in that direction.

Leaning back, pleased that he was going to get help, Albus began to relax a little. He had known going in that dealing with Severus could be tricky. The man was prickly about so much that sometimes you didn't know how to get him to lean your way. This time he had managed. With Severus being more logical, rather than running off emotion like others, he could see the sense in what was said and why it was done. That pleased him. Launching in, he said, “I would like to start at Grimmauld Place. The library there contains many things, there might be something we can use. I was thinking to send you there while I go and persuade a couple others I know to see if they won't allow me to take a look in their private collections. Between the two of us I think we can find something that will help.”

Nodding, Severus actually liked that idea. He wasn't going to actually find a spell to track Harry, of course, but it would give him an excuse to get into the library without it looking suspicious to Black or any of the others that sometimes questioned his motives on things. “Set it up with Black then I'll allot some time this week to go in and see what I can find. If nothing else, it may give me a trail to follow elsewhere. Yes, between the two of us we should be able to come up with something to trace Potter with.”

“Yes, I think so. I'll get with Sirius tonight to let him know you're coming and why. That should get him to leave you alone. So any time this week you have time, go and take a look. If there's a problem with it, I'll let you know,” Albus told him. “If I find anything on my end, I'll contact you to have you look at it then we'll go from there.”

Nodding, Severus stood then said, “I'll go to Grimmauld Place in the next day or so then start. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have things to attend to. Is there anything else?” Arching an eyebrow, he looked at the headmaster and waited, hoping like hell there wasn't because he was certain his ire couldn't take any more.

“No, that's all, Severus,” Albus told him with a genial smile.

“Good day then, Albus,” Severus told him with a nod before sweeping out of the room and heading down the stairs.

Once outside the wards of the school and in an area no one could see him, Severus looked down at the ground, chest heaving. He was more infuriated at this point then he had ever been in his life. Even the fits of rage James Potter had inspired at school didn't come close to it. Fists clenched, he gritted his teeth against the backwash of pure fury. Along with that he felt dirty. He had, since becoming a Death Eater and realizing what a mistake it was, had an issue with such a thing. Now, though, he felt worse than he ever had as a follower of the Dark Lord. He was being used, that was all there was to it; by a man he trusted and looked up to. Albus was using what he felt for Lily to have her son walk to his death with no guarantee that he would come back from it. There wasn't enough soap or cleansing spells in the world to wash away this feeling right now.

Shaking with rage, he lifted his head and stared up at the sky, trying to think what to do. Of course, he was going to tell Lucius about this and then the two of them were going to have to tell Potter. Neither were situations that were going to be easy, especially when it came to Harry. Right now, though, he couldn’t face it. He needed to calm down before he could do such a thing. Shutting his eyes, he tried to think. The only thing that came to mind, though, was Lily's beautiful face. That made his stomach curdle even more, the feeling of guilt and being dirty seeming to increase exponentially. She had sacrificed herself so that her son could live, wanting only a happy life for him. Little did she know that the being she trusted so much was now planning her son's death, making sure he was going to 'do the right thing' because that's what he thought was right, not giving a damn about anything else. With what he knew of his old friend, she would be throwing hexes at Albus.

Shutting his eyes again, he felt them burn and one tear slid down his cheek. The image of beautiful Lily with those green eyes was at the forefront of his mind. He had made a mistake with her, he knew that, one he still regretted, but he wasn't going to make another this time. No, he was going to ensure that he fulfilled the vow he had made.

Deciding going back to the manor was a bad idea in his present state. Severus made a quick decision then Apparated away. Appearing in Godric's Hollow, he cast a glamour on himself and cast a spell on his clothes to change their appearance. Going into the florist, he bought a dozen lilies then walked to the cemetery. Taking a well worn path, he found his old friend's grave. After laying the flowers on the headstone, he cast a privacy and notice-me-not spell then knelt down. Looking at the headstone, he said, softly, “Lily, I will keep my promise to you. I will protect your son! From both the Dark Lord and Albus. However, I need advice.” Quietly, he then began to talk the problem out, hoping that by being there, he would get some kind of help to deal with what had just been laid on his shoulders and for the guilt to lessen over it.

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Shades of Grey