Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

I just wanted to ask	By : evil-minded Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 31281 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 11
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character from it, Rowling does … I do not make any money out of Harry Potter either, again – Rowling does … I however do own Herbaceous VanHarkins – but I don’t make money of him also … :D …

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Author's Notes:

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

And yes, I really would appreciate it, if you would honor my work with a short review as I always will honor your comments with an answer … Answers to reviews you have given or the chance to discuss the story you can find here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/34437-review-replies-for-i-just-wanted-to-ask/

Warning:

Story contains references to child abuse:

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution … handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

what does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

Story contains adult stuff:

Especially sex between two men … as there is Harry Potter – a male – having sex with Severus Snape – another male … what means those gay things … not to mention that the relationship between the two of them is one based on BDSM …

Don't like it, don't read it …

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Previously in I just wanted to ask

"Don't you know that this won't happen, sir?" He asked quietly, the green eyes begging. "Don't you know that this isn't about learning anymore? I do want to explore with you, yes. But this here is already more. And yes, Of course I would marry … I mean, bond with you! I want this! I want you!"

"And I still don't know how you could, brat!" Snape growled darkly.

I just wanted to ask

Chapter sixteen

How do I feel?

It was Friday evening and tomorrow he would go to the Dursleys.

He'd had potions in the morning and his afternoon had been free while Harry had had his afternoon classes. So he'd had enough time for doing his papers and for tonight he had something special on his mind. And tomorrow – well, he would have enough time to make this unpleasant visit to the Dursleys tomorrow.

He didn't mind though, on the contrary. He actually looked forward to a meeting with the boy's aunt and uncle. But at the same time he knew how his submissive would react. But Potter was still underage and so the boy needed his relative's permission for the bonding. And the boy needed to be present while his relatives signed the papers.

He wouldn't mention it tonight, however. Tomorrow would be hard enough to break the news to the boy. The less time between the news and the visit, the less time the boy could worry. And tomorrow evening it would be over. Tomorrow evening they would go to Dumbledore to announce their relationship and he would ask the headmaster to go through the ceremony.

For tonight however, he had something else in his mind, something far better.

Undressing the past few evenings had been a rather easy affair. He would change that tonight, and he smirked evilly after they had finished dinner in their quarters. It was normal for them to have dinner in Severus' quarters on Fridays, so the brat didn't suspect anything and was quite at ease. For now, Snape thought, but that would change, he knew.

The moment he had the table cleaned with a flick of his wand he stood up and waved the boy over to the living area. He warded the floo and his entrance door, not wishing unannounced visitors or a floo-call at an inappropriate moment, and then gestured the boy to stand in front of the fireside.

He could feel the boy's nerves being strained like a bowstring, the brat definitely sensing that there was something he had on his mind, and his own breath nearly hitched at the sight of the pent up teen. Slowly he came closer and stood behind him, leaned over the teen's shoulder to whisper into his ear, knowing well what his voice and his words would do to the teenager.

"Undressing the past few days had become a bit too easy, don't you think, Potter?" He darkly growled and at the gulp the boy gave away he knew that he had been right. The boy's heartbeat increased as did his breathing and the color of his face dropped a few tads while pink spots appeared at his cheeks at the same time. Contrary to him, the boy actually did hitch his breath.

"Tonight, you will be undressed – completely – before I will follow your example." He whispered into the boy's other ear before slipping his right hand around the boy's throat. He gently pulled the boy backwards until his back touched his chest and then he pulled the boy's shirt out of his trousers and slipped his left hand underneath the shirt, still from behind, and the brat gasped momentarily before his back arched slightly when he pinched and tweaked a nipple between his fingers.

He ignored the painful stirring of his own member and focused on allowing his slender hands to caress over Potter's sides underneath his shirt and over the cool flesh to feel the ribs against his fingers before he again grabbed the erect bud and then increased the pressure on the boy's nipple, knowing it would be painful this time while at the same time he slightly increased his grip he had on the boy's throat. He wouldn't choke him, but it would be enough to tell the boy to keep his place, to not try escaping the pain. The teenager in front of him gasped again, squirmed, and the hand on his throat, that touched his lower jaw, could feel the boy gritting his teeth to prevent making a sound.

"Oh, no." He growled threateningly, causing the boy to shiver, while he twisted the nipple between his fingers even harder. "You won't! Part your lips!" He ordered.

The teen in front of him tried to turn his head, to look at him, startled, questioningly, but immediately he shifted his hand that still rested on the boy's throat to stop the movement.

"Now!" He simply growled, more threateningly than before while again increasing the pressure on the nipple between his fingers. "You seem to cut it short today, Harry. If you wish to be punished at all costs, you simply continue with your disobedience."

He could feel the boy swallowing forcefully, could feel the boy's Adam's apple move underneath his hand, but then he felt the boy's lower jaw relax the moment the boy slightly opened his mouth.

"That's better." The Potions Master growled pleased, but just to be sure he twisted the nipple between his fingers forcefully for a short moment, causing the boy to give away a yelp of pain and satisfied he released the bud to wrap his arm around the boy's waist the moment his knees gave way with the pleasure that washed over him at the same time. He pressed the trembling and heated body against his own for a moment before he slowly released it and rounded the boy to stand in front of the teenager.

He gazed down at the boy standing there, still dazed, unsteady, breathing irregularly and much too quickly, and he was more than pleased. The boy had a delicious body even if he wasn't aroused, but if he was, then just looking at this body of his brat nearly drove him mad with pleasure – and that even though he wasn't undressed yet.

The boy lifted his hand to open the buttons of his shirt but Snape stopped him while gripping one of his wrists.

"I – am going to do that." He said and again made the boy shiver while gazing at him intently. "Keep your hands at your side – and still." He ordered and then released the boy's wrist.

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Harry swallowed thickly.

Did he really have to undress completely? In front of Snape? By Snape even? While the man kept himself dressed? Alone that thought was more than embarrassing and he could feel his fears rising. He simply couldn't undress completely in front of Snape. And surely not while the man was still dressed. He simply couldn't … and … and … and …

He tried to control his breathing and he gritted his teeth. That simply would be impossible. He even could feel his blood dropping from his face into some lower regions and his fingers got numb and started to tremble like mad.

And then he would have to stand there, completely naked and exposed to Snape's eyes while the man undressed himself. It was … it hadn't even started and he already felt humiliated.

He felt his lower region twitch at the thought, and he felt his insides squirm not unpleasantly, but he felt humiliated at the same time. He didn't know if he would manage to survive that day.

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With gentle fingers he slowly undid the first button on Harry's shirt, went down to the second and slowly exposed the boy's delicate chest. Since more than a week now they undressed at least their upper bodies, but he knew that this would be different for his brat. Not only had he told him that he would be undressed completely tonight, but it would be in front of him, by him even, while he himself was still dressed. He knew how embarrassing this would be for the boy.

And after that the boy would have to stand there, naked, exposed to his eyes while he himself undressed, and he knew that he would drive the boy mad with humiliation by that. And not to mention the fact that he made his voice sound threateningly tonight. His attention changed from excitement to caution at the boy's reactions while the long and slender fingers continued to unbutton Harry's shirt, slowly, his dark eyes flickering up to Harry's frightened and unsure pale face to watch his brat closely.

The boy's fingers started to nervously playing with the hem of his shirt and narrowing his eyes at the brat for a moment Snape tried to decide his next move. He had told the boy to keep his hands still at his side. The boy seemed nervous, but otherwise well. So he lifted his eyebrow and leaned closer. Threateningly he grabbed the boy's both wrists in one hand while he again laid his hand on the boy's throat and forced his head upwards by pressure against his lower jaw. He was careful to keep his touch on the boy's throat gentle, but nevertheless forceful.

"If I remember correctly," he whispered, "and I am sure I do, then I told you to keep your hands still."

He lifted his eyebrow even higher, demanding an answer and he could feel the boy swallowing underneath his hand that rested on his throat. A simple movement underneath his fingers, the boy's Adam's apple, but a movement that sent a jolt through his own body.

"Yes, sir." The boy whispered with a rough and ragged voice, barely able to get the words out.

He lifted his eyebrow at the brat and with another nervous gulp the boy corrected himself and said "Yes, Master."

Keeping his hand on the boy's throat he released the teen's wrists and quickly opened the last button with his now free hand and then pushed the fabric off Harry's shoulder, down his arms and grabbed it just before it fell to the floor.

He placed the shirt over the backrest of the sofa behind him, out of Harry's reach and he could see the boy's eyes wandering over to the place where his cover lay – inaccessible.

"You will keep your hands at your side, with your fingers open!" He whispered, ordered threateningly again, the words coming out slowly. "And you will keep them still! You will keep your eyes open and you will keep looking at me! You will keep your lips slightly parted and your jaw open! There will be no gritting of teeth to avoid making one of your precious little sounds. If you disobey yet again, I will punish you."

He shifted his hand around the boy's throat until he had the boy's head in an angle where he had to look up at him and then he reached out to squeeze the boy's other nipple that had been neglected before.

He could see the brat's green eyes flickering downwards for a second, trying to see what he was doing, before the brat seemed to remember and brought his eyes, that were growing – if possible – even larger than they already were, looking up at him, breathing heavily and much too quickly, and he could feel the boy's trembling increase, could feel the boy's body sacking for a moment when his knees threatened to give way underneath him. He could feel the boy's struggle to keep his eyes at him, to keep from gritting his teeth the moment a whimper escaped his lips and he could feel the boy struggling to keep his hands at his side and still.

Well, he would make sure that the brat would lose this struggle tonight, one way or another.

And he increased the pressure on the boy's nipple, enjoying the soft whimpers the brat gave away, the squirming, the harsh breathes and the struggle to keep his hands still.

He could see frustration in the boy's face, he could see desperation in the large green eyes and he could see fear in the boy's entire body language. But at the same time he could feel the trust coming from the boy through the necklace – and the arousal.

And right then he would have liked to tell the boy to take a deep breath, that that would help with his fear, but he knew, the boy would calm down then and this he didn't want. He wanted the boy to lose his battle against his emotions. He wanted the boy to allow himself to feel and he wanted him to gain this by his own, without a potion, a spell or anything else. And he wanted to punish him, just to show him that a punishment he would gain from him, would never be the same as the punishment Dursley had given out.

Smirking evilly he pulled at the boy's nipple, twisting it at the same time between his fingers, increasing the pressure bit by bit until the teenager gave a loud whimper away – before gritting his teeth, clenching his hands into tight fists and finally pressing his eyes tightly shut for a moment.

"Tut, tut, tut." Snape made, causing the boy to open his eyes at him and he smirked calmly at the startled teen.

He didn't feel calm at all. He had to fight hard to keep his hands steady and he had to struggle himself to keep his breathing even. But he forced himself to sound calm.

"What did I tell you?" He asked with his eyebrow lifted at the boy, knowing how threatening he looked right now.

It took the boy a while until he was able to answer.

"You … you told me … you told me to keep … to keep my eyes open and to look at you, Master." The boy answered, struggling with the words, his voice thick with a mixture of pleasure and fear.

"And?" Snape drawled.

"And to … to keep my hands … still … and my mouth … open, Master."

"And? Did you obey?" Snape asked, leaning closer.

"No, Master." The brat answered miserable.

"You do know what I will have to do now?"

"You … you will … you will …"

"Yes, Potter?" He drawled in his best Snape-manner, demanding an answer from the boy, knowing how much the thought of a – punishment – frightened him, but he would not back away, he wanted the boy to learn something out of this tonight, he would not back away!

"You will … you will have to … you will have to … punish me." At the last two words the boy's knees nearly gave way and this time the only emotion Snape could feel coming from the necklace was fear. Raw fear and panic, and he knew why.

Releasing the boy's throat and rounding him until he stood behind him he leaned close and folded his arm around the boy's shoulder from behind, pulled him close.

"I do know that you fear being punished, Harry." He calmly and gently whispered into the boy's ear. "But I promise, this will be nothing compared to the punishments you are used to. I won't really harm you, I promise. You have your safeword. What is it?"

"Red." The boy in front of him whispered.

"Good." Snape said. "Use it, if you need it. Never hesitate using it if you need it."

He released the boy and then rounded him until he stood in front of him again, gazing intently down into the pale face, but this time his gaze wasn't stern but reassuring and warm. He noticed that again the boy watched rather his hands than his face and he slowly lifted his right hand and gently placed his finger's underneath the boy's chin to force his head up. The frightened eyes however still lingered on his hands.

"Look at me." He gently ordered. "You won't have to fear my hand. You won't have to fear me beating you. I won't beat you and I won't harm you."

The boy swallowed thickly, but then his eyes finally left his hands and went upwards to look at him, miserably, and Snape sighed, reaching out with his free hand he gently touched Harry's cheek with his fingers. For once, Harry didn't flinch.

"I … I know." The teen finally managed. "I … I trust you. I … I'm just … a little nervous."

"I know." Snape answered, his eyes still calmly piercing the boy. "What is exactly what I wanted you to feel. And what is the exact reason as to why I won't carry out your punishment right now. I wish to keep you in this very delightful state for a bit longer, brat. I however still expect you to keep your eyes at me, your lips parted and your hands at your side – and still, to not clench your teeth or your hands into fists. And you will look at me or your punishment will be increased."

The boy's nerves that had calmed a bit during the past two or three minutes turned into a bowstring again and he moved his hand over the teenager's bare chest, over a nipple, then over the other one, pinching them gently between two fingers this time, not causing pain but only pleasure until the boy's breathing was more a gasping for breath than anything else.

Yet, the boy this time obeyed, he kept his eyes open, his lips slightly parted, and his trembling fingers didn't clench into fists. The boy had to struggle and small whimpers escaped him, whimpers that finally went into desperate sobs.

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Again he stood behind the boy and sneaked his arms around the bare upper body, his fingers, his hands and his arms touching the boy's flanks, making the boy shudder and shiver violently and he could feel the boy's emotions washing over him, his fear of the upcoming punishment, the embarrassment of being undressed by him, Snape, completely, while he himself was still dressed and he could feel the pleasure washing over the boy in painful waves. Pleasure mixed with embarrassment, with fear, with pain – it was excitement pure and he had to force himself to calmness.

He reached down and opened the boy's trouser button and then slowly unzipped the zipper before he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of the Jeans and lowered them, undid the boy's straining trousers.

He couldn't see the teen's face, but there was no need to either. He could feel all the boy's emotions washing over him in waves and waves. Waves that were a mixture of pleasure, of desperation, of fear, of arousal, an arousal that was nearly painful and he could feel the bulge in the boy's shorts, indicating the erection that lingered there.

The moment the trousers fell freely over the boy's knees and down to his ankles he simply banished the piece of cloth and a split second later it reappeared over the armrest of the sofa, beside the boy's shirt.

One last piece of clothing was left and this time he went to stand in front of the boy so he would be able watching him more closely and he spoke before he even initiated any actions.

"I am going to remove your shorts." He whispered to the trembling boy in front of him. "I won't touch you right now. I just will take off the fabric." The teenager had the look of a spooked horse in his eyes and the struggle to keep his hands still on his sides, to keep his teeth from gritting and to keep looking at him turned into a struggle to not simply bolt from the room, but Snape just waited patiently for the boy's answer. He wouldn't do this without the teen's permission.

"Ok." Harry hoarsely replied after swallowing thickly and the Potions Master felt the boy's desperation, the boy's wish he wouldn't be able to tell how nervous he felt. And he could see one question written over the boy's forehead in red letters: would Snape reject him perhaps the moment he saw how small he was? Well, it was the first time after all that their shorts too would be gone, of course the teen was scared.

He simply inclined his head and reaching out he gently hooked his thumbs into the elastic waistband of the boy's shorts. With one smooth movement he pulled the fabric down and slowly the teen's erect cock was revealed to the cold open air. The boy shivered violently at the cold air caressing his naked skin and the spooked look on the boy's face turned into a look of sheer panic.

He simply banished the shorts as well and at the same time placed his hand on the teen's shoulder to calm him, not sure if the brat was about to bolt or if he was frozen to the spot. The boy's face however was so pale he wondered how he managed to keep his feet. He surely shouldn't have the brat taking a step right now. He would drop where he stood, he was sure of that.

He watched the uncertainty and fear dancing through the boy's eyes and for a moment he wondered what exactly was wrong, but then he knew. The boy simply feared being pushed away by him, knowing that he wasn't as large as a full grown man yet.

Damn it, he'd never had to anticipate the feelings of his partners before. The few partners he'd always had, had been confident and he hadn't needed to reassure them. He was out of his depth and he had to force himself from giving away a deep sigh that only would startle the teen in front of him, that would confirm the teen's fears.

He tightened the grip of his hand on the boy's shoulder and pulled the naked body close, enfolding his arms around the exposed teen, knowing that the fabric of his robes would send even more sensations over the teen's bare skin, but at the same time knowing that Harry would be reassured by the act.

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Well, the brat was naked and it was time.

But the boy already looked beleaguered enough, he had to admit, and he wasn't sure how much more the boy would be ready to take. On the other hand, he had pronounced a punishment and he knew that he had to hand out one. Except the teen used his safeword of course, but if he didn't, then he would have to do what he had announced. It was important.

Only if the top always stuck to his word and always carried out what was announced, only then the submissive could trust his master to one hundred percent. Only then the submissive would know that he always could depend on his master. And only then the submissive would always know what awaited him, only then he could feel safe and trust him.

He would carry out a punishment, but he would keep it low and he would have to be very careful – this time at least.

"You do know what will come now, do you not, Harry?" He asked, piercing the teen's green and frightened eyes with his own dark ones, trying to transfer as much calmness as possible into his gaze. He would show the boy that a punishment during such a situation was different from the punishments he had grown up with. He would show the boy that he neither would beat him, nor harm him in any way.

The boy nodded at him, swallowing thickly and his fingers twitched nervously. He simply raised his eyebrow.

"Yes, Master." The brat answered, whispered, hoarsely.

"Good." He said. He would like to make the boy voicing that he would face a punishment, but at the same time he didn't want to push him too far right now. Not this time, they would have time for such during other punishments. "It won't be pleasant, but it won't be cruel either. I won't make it easy for you, but I won't harm you either. I won't beat you and I won't do anything you do not want either. I won't cane you right now, nor will I do anything similar. I only will play with your senses. What is your safeword?"

The boy struggled a bit to wrap his mind around his words and what was to come, but then he gave him the correct safeword and he nodded satisfied.

"Good. Spread your legs!" He ordered, waiting for the young wizard to obey before continuing. "I trust you still do know what I expect of you."

Another nod from the boy, followed by a quick but hoarse "yes, Master" and he again inclined his head.

He concentrated onto the emotions the necklace sent over to the ring he still was wearing and then he playfully stroke his fingertip over the boy's nipple, took the again hardening piece of flesh between his thumb and forefinger and into a tight grip. He looked into the teen's face and then ran his fingernail over the erect and already painfully squeezed nub and the boy's eyes became – even if he had thought it impossible – even wider while he drew in a sharp breath.

He pulled a bit and at the same time increased the pressure of his fingernail running over the exposed and meanwhile surely hurting piece of flesh, watching the boy trying to control his squirming. Well, the more the boy squirmed, the more he would bring pain upon himself as long as he, Snape, kept the bud in his firm grip – what he quite did.

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Harry felt as if his knees would give way at every moment. He couldn't concentrate, he couldn't think, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't move, he couldn't do anything aside from somehow trying to not grit his teeth or curl his hands into fists.

He didn't even have to worry about not closing his eyes as the only thing he could do was to stare wide eyed at Snape, the deep, black eyes of the man the only anchor he right now had, the only thing that kept him upright, and sane, he thought.

He could feel his erection twitch every now and then and the pleasure that washed over him together with the pain Snape's fingernail caused were killing him. He didn't even know if it was the pleasure that caused the pain or if it was the pain that caused the pleasure. He simply felt as if he were in a complete different world of its own, in a world where nothing else existed aside from pain and pleasure, and he started trembling, shivering, whimpering.

He didn't even realize the moment Snape finally released his nipple, and it took him a moment until he had his breathing back under control, but before he even was able to focus, Snape had his other nipple between his fingers and squeezed and pulled and then ran his fingernail over it again and he couldn't help giving away another whimper, louder, longer. It simply was too much.

It didn't really hurt. Not in that kind of way he knew. Not in a normal way of pain.

A broken rib was worse, as was a kick into his stomach or a blow with his uncle's belt.

This here – yes, it hurt in some way, but not as …

He simply couldn't explain. He just knew that it wasn't anything he ever had felt before and he just knew that it wasn't anything compared to what his uncle would call a punishment. He tried to relax, knowing that Snape had been right, he wouldn't harm him, but at the same time he wasn't able to relax.

"Please …" He couldn't help whimpering out, not able to continue with what exactly he wanted. "Please …"

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Snape's own erection tortured him, threatened to kill him, and the more the boy in front of him trembled, the more he whimpered and tried to keep from squirming, the more perspiration formed on the delicious body, the more he felt his own body responding to the sight in front of his eyes – a teenage boy that had a most desirable body and that was aroused due to his ministrations and close to a release. It was a sight after all that he had not every day.

"Please …" The boy begged, whimpered, and he knew he started to treat dangerous ice while at the same time he reminded himself that this here was meant as a 'punishment' after all. It wasn't supposed to be that easy for the boy. He wanted the boy to learn something out of this and so he leaned closer, just the moment the boy whimpered his second "Please …"

"Please what, Potter?" He asked, his own voice nearly trembling, but deep and velvet nevertheless and satisfied he noticed the boy shivering at his words, hitching a breath and nearly arching his back in a desperate attempt to somehow relieve the pain.

"Please …" The teen repeated, the whimper this time a barely suppressed sob.

"Please what, Potter?" He asked again, increasing the already harsh grip he had on the boy's nipple, increasing the pressure of the fingernail that ran along the bud, causing the teen to finally react, to squirm with a desperate sob, just to try and stand still the moment his squirming increased the pain on his tortured flesh that was between his fingers - without success and the trembling increased.

"Please …" The boy sobbed desperately by now. "Please … no … no more … stop …"

"No." The Potions Master simply answered, enjoying the squirming, while at the same time narrowing his eyes in concentration on his brat's face. The boy was close to lose it, he was sure, if the twitching of the boy's member was any indication, and he twisted the nipple he held between his fingers, continued playing with the bud and enjoyed the desperation mixed with need and pain and stimulation he felt coming from Harry.

His brat in front of him shivered more and more, was shaking and droplets of sweat were running down the twisted face, the bare chest while he had him incoherent and in a world of pleasure and pain. Just what he'd had in mind and he smirked satisfied, knowing that he would have to be very careful now.

Snape more felt than saw the moment his submissive lost the strength to remain standing and instinctively he found himself reaching out for the teenager. His hands however did not have to go far, as the boy was already leaning against his chest, trembling and he quickly caught him before he could fall completely, turned the boy so he could press him with his back to his chest and wrapped one arm securely around the boy's waist.

He knew that it wouldn't take much now for the boy to lose control completely. He already had a teenager in his arms that was reduced to a shaking, whimpering and sobbing mess and for a moment he wondered if he had gone too far. He pressed the boy's naked body at his chest with one arm, and ran his free hand over the boy's pale and damp face with his other hand.

"Easy, brat." He whispered soothingly. "You are quite fine. I have you." He could feel the thin body in his arms relaxing, muscle for muscle, sagging against his chest. "I have you, brat." He repeated, still running his free hand over the boy's forehead and through his damp hair. "I have you and I won't release you, I won't let you fall."

The more the teen in his arms calmed down, the more his shoulders shook and he realized that his brat was crying.

It was a simple emotional breakdown and – well, he had been prepared for one, so he really shouldn't wonder now. He simply turned the boy in his arms and placing one hand at the back of Harry's head he pulled him towards his shoulder, while he stroke the fingers of his free hand over the teen's soaked back, still whispering calming words into his ears.

He could feel his brat's emotions as clearly as if they were his own and he knew that the teen's painful arousal had vanished, that the desperate struggle to obey him had made place for understanding and that the fear had made place for relief. Not a physical relief. The boy had not had an orgasm, but the relief of the knowledge that this punishment wasn't the same as his uncle's had been.

And this relief was the reason Harry right now was crying.

"I'm …"

"Do not even think of apologizing, brat." Snape calmly whispered, pushing the boy away a bit so he could look into his eyes. Harry however looked down in a way that told him that not all was well with his young submissive.

"Do you not remember what I told you, Harry?" He quietly asked. "About emotional breakdowns being the most common emergencies? How do you feel now?" He wanted to know, the question he so often asked, but yet again Harry had the feeling that he simply couldn't even really describe how he felt and he simply shook his head before lowering it. He felt the man's hand under his chin that pushed his head up gently so that he had to look at him.

"Close your eyes and feel, Harry." Severus commanded sedately. "I won't do anything, it is over, I promise. Just feel what you feel, inside, feel your emotions, and allow yourself to recognize them."

"I don't know." The boy whispered after a few minutes during which he still was in his arms, and he sounded much calmer. "I … at first I was frightened that you … I mean … I'm not grown yet and you … I mean … I hadn't even ever …"

Snape's quiet but deep laugher made Harry lift his eyes startled, but the sound itself actually calmed him even more.

"I am not laughing at you, brat." He finally assured the boy. "Merely at the thought that I would abandon you because of your size. Did I not tell you that I do know what I get myself into by going into a relationship with a teenager such as you?" He gripped the boy's chin and lifted his head, forced him to look at him. "Did you really think I would mind?" He leaned closer. "On the contrary, Mr. Potter." He whispered into the boy's ear. "It is a small of a handful and I am quite satisfied with it – it is my small of a handful."

Well, yes. He simply couldn't leave it, his teasing.

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If the boy had asked then to just stop it, he would have done so, but as Harry hadn't, he finally had released him. Well, that had been the deal anyway, him undressing after his brat.

He had reminded him to stand still and to keep his hands at his sides and still, had ordered him to again spread his legs before he had started to undress. Well, if the brat would get a good view of him, then he too wanted to have the same. And besides, he knew how humiliating it was to have his legs spread in such a situation. The sight of the teen's again erect cock however didn't help with his own furiously beating heart.

His submissive again had to struggle to keep his hands still, he noticed with a smirk, his fingers twitching every now and then, and he refused to look anywhere else than his face. He lifted his eyebrow at the overly large green eyes while shoving down his own shorts and dared the boy to look.

Said boy did, look – at his throat first, at his chest, his stomach, and then Harry's gaze dropped lower and he swallowed thickly while his eyes went even wider and startled, causing Snape to wonder if the boy ever had seen another cock in such a regard before. But then – this blasted man of an uncle had made Potter touching him, so yes, he surely had seen … and again he knew how dangerous the ice he treated was, how carefully he would have to be if he didn't want to frighten or startle his brat beyond what he would be able to repair.

The boy had seen his blasted uncle – and had been forced to touch him. He would have to be careful so the boy would not fear him, Snape, demanding the same of him and slowly taking the few steps towards Potter he saw the boy's Adam's apple bob as the brat swallowed thickly and forced his spooked eyes up again.

Harry couldn't help swallowing at Snape's jutting cock that was released the moment he had pulled his shorts down, long and thick, and he couldn't help wondering how in Merlin's name he would be able to handle it.

Of course he had seen other males' members before. In the shower, even if he preferred showering at such a late hour that he normally was alone. And he had seen them in the Quidditch changing rooms, and in his dorm. But well, that all had been the members of other children like him, of teenagers, not of adults.

The only other adult he ever had seen was his uncle. And he shuddered. This one had been flabby and slack, and ugly and … and …

His eyes wandered back down to Snape's cock and again he had to swallow. Snape's was tight and firm and … and large … and it wasn't flabby or slack … and … it wasn't ugly either – but startling large and he couldn't help thinking of the saying 'the form of the nose of the warlock, the form and the size of his cock'.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

He had led the startled boy to the sofa, soon realizing why the teen had been so startled, the youth's mind wide open. It hadn't even taking him legillimense to see anything and he simply had taken the blanket from the backrest and had dropped the fabric over both of them while they both had still the contact between their naked bodies. He didn't need more and neither did Harry, of that he was sure. But at the same time he would not back away now. The young wizard he held in his arms would have to get used to skin contact anyway.

"What else did you feel?" He finally asked, nearly startling the teen with his question.

"Well … I … it was … I never before … but …" The teenager tried to explain and he had to force himself to remain calm and patient, knowing that it was important to give Harry time to form his words. "But … it was too much … I mean … at first it was … but then … but then it became … I felt as if … I don't know, it simply was too much and I just wanted it to stop."

Frowning down at the teenager in his arms he lowered his head to one side and narrowed his eyes.

"Why did you not use your safeword?" He softly asked.

"I … I don't know … I mean … I forgot … I didn't remember … I … and I wasn't sure …"

"You were not sure if I would have really stopped." Snape simply stated. Well, he actually had thought such might happen. The brat's fears while discussing safewords in the first place had been indication enough that he still didn't trust such a thing as a safeword. But …

"Why?" He asked.

"Because … well, I mean … I had …" The teenager in his arms closed his eyes, took a deep breath and then turned his face away. "You explained what a safeword was and suddenly I knew why my uncle never stopped when I begged him to, why he never stopped when I said 'no' or 'stop' and I suddenly knew that it had been my own fault. I mean maybe I had missed the safeword he gave or maybe I forgot it and he simply would have stopped if I had used it and …"

"No Harry!" Snape growled, turning the boy in his arms so he could face him more easily, grabbing the teen's chin in a firm grip and forcing him to look at him. "This had not been your fault and don't you dare taking the blame for this. Your uncle did not even consider something like a safeword and he never would have accepted one either. The 'no' or 'stop' you tried to stop him with simply pushed him deeper into his evilness as he enjoyed having you begging and at his mercy without giving mercy. It had nothing to do with you forgetting a safeword as there simply was none. It had however anything to do with sexual abuse and that for rape, even if you might not see it this way yet."

He sighed and going through the boy's words in his head he sensed that there might have been more than Dursley simply forcing Harry to touch him, even if the boy maybe didn't remember, maybe having it suppressed in his mind somehow. Well, he would find out, he promised himself.

"I too do enjoy having you at my mercy, as you definitely might have noticed by now, by today's happenings especially, but contrary to your uncle, I never will disregard a safeword and considering that you told me you didn't remember it, I think we should find something that will come more easily to your mind. What is it that you think of, the moment you feel the need to stop all actions? What had it been you were thinking at the moment you wanted me to stop?"

They had talked a bit longer and he had felt really bad at not noticing that his submissive had been pushed too far by him, had been pushed over the edge because he had not stopped in time. He had not known that Harry had forgotten his safeword, the boy had known it just a few minutes before, but he should have thought about the fact that this could have happened. Yet, he hadn't, and he had apologized to the teenager who had been shaking his head startled, telling him that it hadn't been his fault.

Said teenager however clearly was mentally exhausted now and when he next looked down he found the boy sleeping with his head and arm across his, Snape's chest. He watched as he slept and lifting his hand he carded his fingers through the boy's hair, thinking.

It was the first time in many years that he felt so much love for one person, and Harry had made it possible. Now, all Snape wanted was to claim the brat as his and nobody else's. But he knew this had to wait. The boy wasn't ready for this yet.

Harry was about to drift off into sleep when a hand brushed his fringe away and he sleepily glanced up. Snape was still awake, the dark eyes watching him and Harry gave away a content sigh.

"You're pretty good-looking." He murmured in his daze while closing his eyes again and off he was, in the land of the dreaming, while the Potions Master himself stared at the boy in his arms.

That simple, innocent words, spoken when the boy was half-asleep, and probably completely unaware of what he was speaking out aloud, was one of the few, true compliments he had ever received in his life for something other than his potions. Because yes – people always had wanted him for his skill at potions, but no one ever – aside from Lily – had desired him sexually, not even the male whores he had used to pay for and he tightened the grip he had on the boy.

How could that blasted child be so blissfully unaware of what he had done to him? Of what he was doing to him?

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

To be continued

Next time in I just wanted to ask

Will the Dursleys sign the papers that would allow Harry and Severus to bond?

Added author's note

thank you for reading - and yes, I would appreciate it if you took the time to review this chapter, thank you …

reviews:

to unneeded: no, rushing like that is really not like Snape - but he is rushing for this bonding because it is the only way to completely keep Harry out of harms ways and especially out of the Dursleys hands because only then he automatically will have guardianship over Harry too, until Harry would come of age ... thanks for sharing your thoughts in yet another review of you ...

to delia: I'm glad that you like the story and I do thank you for the review given ...
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I just wanted to ask