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Envy and Manipulations	By : rrabbit Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Ginny Views: 8379 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters from it.... therefore I do not receive any payment for this writing.

Chapter List
- 15
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The castle was ablaze with rumors the week the Dolores Umbridge went missing. I kept my head down and my mouth shut as people gossiped and whispered about where she could be. She left, it was said, during the dinner feast and no one has seen or heard from her since. She left no note and she packed no bags. She even left her wand laying on the desk in her office. It was odd, people said... foul play was suspected. A ghost reported seeing her going up the stairs to the tower sometime around nine, but couldn't be sure where she went after that.

If they only knew.

I constantly feel sick and when I was interviewed by Snape, questioning me on my whereabouts during the Quidditch feast, I told him that I was upset after getting into a fight with Draco Malfoy. I went for a walk about the castle until late into the night to blow off steam. I never saw Umbridge, I lied, even though I could clearly picture her panicked expression in my mind when Draco said she had to die.

Snape stared at me for a long time in his office, reading my eyes and watching me fidget with an appraising look on his harsh features. After being released from the Headmaster's office, I suddenly felt very nervous. Umbridge was another person who was supposed to look after me and something bad happened to her as well.

The Dark Lord will not be pleased.

I'm worried so deeply about my family now that my depression has seemed to seep into everything that I do.

I can't find myself to be optimistic anymore.

I'm not like Harry.

His rash decisions always seem to reach the best conclusions and he has so much luck engrained in his system that I think he might be made out of the golden luck potion.

I'm stupid.

I try to be a good person but I always seem to do something wrong.

I do everything wrong.

I'm a coward... but when I try to be brave, I just end up making a fool of myself.

My good intentions always seem to fall short and they do nothing but get me, and everyone around me, in the deepest of trouble. Then again, Harry did have the best support system. Dumbledore and countless others kept close watch on him from the time he was small, knowing he would grow up to be such a great hero. Even though he did grow up in the worst of homes, with his abusive aunt and uncle, he was completely loved in our world... not to mention he always has, and always will have, Hermione and Ron by his side. They're the greatest friends anyone could ask for and their talents far out weigh their flaws.

With that thought, I look down the table at Luna who's sitting with Romilda Vane again. I wonder what that feels like, to have friends so close they were willing to die for you a million times over. I'm envious of Harry now, and with another stab to my heart I realize once more that I should have gone with him when he asked. I shouldn't have stayed here at this horrid school with Draco.

Draco...

I felt bad even thinking that thought. I love him so much and I feel like a traitor for even thinking about leaving him. I'm not like him either. My careful plans always end up falling out at the bottom at the last minute. I'm not smart like he is. I'm not smooth. I can't see connections. I can't view the path into the future so effortlessly and so boldly... I can't be okay with making the decision for someone to die.

Die.

I put my spoon down and stare at the soup I haven't been able to eat. I don't know why this is bothering me more than anything else. It's not like death is anything new to me.

"Are you okay, Gin?" Daphne asks with a sunny smile as she nudges my arm.

I nod my head.

She's returned to her happy disposition not long after the night she crawled into my bed bawling her eyes out. Whenever the subject was brought up, she would quickly sour and demand that the subject be changed to a more agreeable topic. 'Let's not talk about dark things' she would say with her blond hair a halo about her head. 'Let's be happy.'

That's easier said than done.

"What's this?" she asks as she pulls something from between the notebook I had lying on the table. I try to grab it from her, but she holds it out of my reach.

"It's my family," I mumble as she looks at the photo. It's the one I had taken from the burrow when Draco gave into my request to take me there.

I should have known right then things were hopeless.

"Who is this?" she asks as she points to someone in the picture.

I crane my neck to see.

"Bill," I tell her softly as I tilt the picture so I can see my older brother a bit better. "He's a curse breaker at Gringotts... was..." I correct myself. She brings the photo closer to her face to give it a good viewing.

"He's good looking," she says with an appraising look in her eyes.

I nod my head. Every girl thinks that about Bill.

"That's Percy," I tell her pointing to the only brother who wears glasses and she makes a face.

"Him. Not so good looking," she says and I shake my head.

"I think he looks fine," I tell her in defense of my proper older brother. Even though I know Percy is perfectly ridiculous, distance has made my heart grow fonder and I will defend him to the death if I have to.

"Twins I know... Ron, I know, obviously," she says, scanning the photo. "Who's this?"

"That's Charlie," I tell her with a little smile on my face as I remember my favorite sibling. "He's two years younger than Bill. After Hogwarts he went to study dragons," I tell her as I remember him and she looks at me, studying my profile. "He had the coolest stories when he came back for the holidays."

Thinking of Charlie makes me sad, and I lick my lips before giving her a fake smile so she doesn't feel bad for me.

"Once he said he found three baby dragons just hatched in a cave. The mother had been killed by poachers and he was able to keep them for few weeks until they were strong enough to fly on their own. Wouldn't it be cool to have a baby dragon?"

"That would be cool," she agrees with a head nod.

"Yeah..." I trail off, letting the depression make me sad again. "It is," I whisper, trying not to over think it.

"You must miss them a great deal."

"I do," I say softly as I try not to let that sharp pain in my heart kill me. "I try not to think about," I admit as I fold up the photo and put it back in my notebook.

If I think about it too much I think I'll just ball up and cry all day long. I have no idea what they're doing... if they're okay... what's happening to them... I would give anything to see them again. Even if all we did was fight and bicker with each other, I would choose that over this life any day.

A silence falls between us and she looks at me as I fiddle around with my notebook.

"I think if I was in your position I would be the saddest girl in the word," she says and I glance at her before nodding.

"So have you had any more letters from your suitor?" I ask quickly to change the subject because I just might cry.

"Of course," she says with and eye roll. "And each one is duller than the next."

This suitor business has been on the forefront of her thoughts since she started corresponding with the man two weeks ago. It's easy to talk about... it keeps me distracted from my own life problems, which seem to be overwhelming at times and it lets her vent.

"What is his name again?" I ask as she takes a drink of pumpkin juice.

"Macnair," she says flatly and I try to remember where I had seen that name again. I can barely recall... "Phillip Macnair. He keeps writing me, of course, but he is the most boring old thing I've ever met."

"Why did you choose him?" I ask curiously and she blinks at me.

"It was a good match," she says with a side shrug.

"But you don't like him?"

She makes a face. "He's... very old and boring."

"But you like older men, do you not?' I attempt to joke as I nudge her shoulder but she looks disgusted. "Do you... Do you not like him?" I whisper. "I thought you had a say in who courted you. Wasn't there someone more agreeable in your folder?"

I didn't get a choice, of course, but everyone else did. I would kill to be in her shoes right about now.

"I chose him, actually," she says as she stuffs some cooked carrots into her mouth.

"Then why do you seem so disgusted about it?"

"He's..." she looks at me and makes a face. "He was the best choice," she says with a head nod like she had to convince herself.

Okay, then.

"But... Oh, Ginny, he is so ugly!" she screams like it was the worst thing in the world. "Not that it matters, in the long run," she adds as she looks around to see if anyone heard her yell. Of course, everyone did and they're all staring at us. "But I will have to look at him and he is just..." she makes a horrid face with her nose scrunched up. "He is a troll."

"Is he nice, at least?" I offer and she rolls her eyes.

"Nice enough," she says with a bitter look on her face. "But he has this horrible bulbous nose. It looks like a potato that has sprouts coming from it."

I almost laugh at the visual, but can't seem to break a smile. She keeps going.

"And he has one eye that veers slightly to the left at all times," she says as she tries to mimic the look. She looks ridiculous and I snort. "It's really distracting!"

"Then why are you letting him court you?" I ask her seriously. "I'm sure there are a million other men in your folder who would be a good match."

"It's just... it's nothing..." she says with a shoulder shrug. "No matter."

I let the conversation die for a moment and then I look across the hall at Draco again. He's tapping his fingers against his glass and staring at Pansy as she says something to him. Phillip Macnair. Why do I know that name and why do I know it has to do with Daphne? Did I see it somewhere? Was it in his folder...

"How are you bonded to Draco?" I ask quickly. Because of the way she's acting about this ugly suitor I have a feeling it has something to do with Draco... and his notes... wasn't there something about Daphne in there... and was it Philip Macnair?

I think it was.

I can recall seeing his picture now. The old man with the large nose and the Death Eater robe. It did have Daphne's name on the back. I can remember that now.

"We shouldn't talk about such things," she says sourly and I frown.

"I would like to talk about it," I say honestly. "Why are you letting that ugly guy court you if you have no interest? Does it have to do with Draco's plan and the bonding? Tell me how everyone is bonded to him."

"I don't want to," she says like a stubborn child and I furrow my brows.

"Please tell me. I would tell you if I knew."

"No," she says as she shakes her head. "You wouldn't."

"What's the big deal? You know I'm bonded to him," I lean in to whisper so no one else can hear. "You know how and why. I think it's only fair that you tell me."

"Ask Draco," she says and I bite the inside of my cheek so I don't snap at her.

"I don't want to ask Draco," I mutter and she gives me a look before turning back to her food.

I sigh loudly.

Draco was upset after the Umbridge thing and it took him a while to forgive me. He would rarely talk to me and his comments were especially nasty if he did. Of course, the sex never stopped, but it was shorter and rougher than before and he wouldn't cuddle with me afterward. It made me feel used, actually, and I hated that feeling.

I hated a lot of things.

I especially hated it when Draco was angry with me. He was my only source of comfort in the world and, even though the sex always felt amazing, I missed him being sweet to me.

I needed someone to be sweet to me, after all.

The more I thought about, the more I realized it was my fault Umbridge had to... go away. It had nothing to do with Daphne not stopping her. It was the fact that she found my notebook so easily and that it had all of Draco's plans clearly listed for anyone who chose to read it. Daphne was my only friend now and I needed to make Draco see that.

He was especially bitter after I told him not to be so mean to her. He spat on about how naïve I was again, and how I never realized it when people where manipulating me. Daphne knew what she had done wrong and it was terrible of her to take advantage of my emotions like she did.

He called me gullible.

It sounded like he described himself and when I told him that he silenced me with a dominant kiss and there was no more talk the rest of the evening. I didn't really mind, actually. I was addicted to Draco's love making and it was the only time I ever felt... good. It helps... with the numb depression I feel. It makes me feel something, at least.

I look at Draco again as I think about it and he turns away from his friends to find me. He studies my face for a moment and when I think about how intense my orgasm was last night, he smiles a little to himself before winking and turning away. I blush and bring my hand up to my neck because of what I just let him see.

We finally made up yesterday morning, thank God.

When I walked into the room of requirement, he was sitting on one of the white sex couches, reading the news paper. We had already had a heated discussion about Daphne so I didn't want to bring it up again, but I was tired of him being angry with me all the time. I sat down beside him and turned my body into his.

He didn't even look up from the paper.

"Hey," I had said.

That was my lame greeting, but he didn't bother to respond.

"How are you doing?" I pressed with my head cocked to the side and he spared me a little glance.

"I think you know how I'm doing," he answered and I sighed loudly.

He went back to the paper and didn't look away.

A heavy silence fell between us as I studied his sharp profile.

I needed to apologize to him. I had been toying with the idea all week but I just couldn't get it out. I didn't know if I should say sorry to someone who... could make that kind of deadly decision, but I realized that I needed to. For myself more than for him, actually. The truth was, I couldn't stand it when Draco was upset with me no matter what the reason. It made me feel bad. I didn't want him thinking bad things about me and I didn't like the way he looked at me when he was angry.

I wanted him to be nice to me again.

I needed him to be loving because the world was such a scary place for me.

"I'm sorry that Umbridge found my notebook," I had told him softly, honestly. I was sorry. I was so sorry and I wished I wouldn't have written anything down. It just got me into trouble and it hurt people around me. "I just left it in my trunk. I didn't even think anyone would find it."

"Of course you didn't," he snapped as he folded over his paper and set it on the table. "Because you never think."

My cheeks burned and I slumped back.

"Did you burn all the pages like I said?" he asked flatly as he stood up and he walked over to the fake fireplace against the wall that burned with purple flames.

"Yes," I said as I started picking at my fingers. "Did you have to..." I trailed off, not sure of what I wanted to say as he put his hand on the mantle. I remember staring at his strong back and thinking he was just so handsome. How could someone so handsome be so deadly? "Did you have to do that to her? I mean, I've seen you do the memory charm a million times. You even charmed my mother."

I looked at the paper folded on the desk. A photo of Umbridge in that garish pink sweater was smiling at me from the page. It made me feel sick and I looked at Draco again as I tried to understand why it had to happen that way.

"You're so smart, Draco. You're such a good wizard. I don't understand why a memory charm wouldn't work."

I was waiting for him to change the subject, or to approach me for a violent shag session like I was used to... but he didn't do either of those things and it surprised me.

"I said that a sharp mind won't take a charm like that," he replied and I felt insulted for my mother when I remembered how easily he swiped her memories.

"My mom's not stupid," I told him in a defensive voice. "I'm convinced you didn't have to kill that woman."

"You're convinced," he said nastily as I stood up because I just knew it was going to turn into a fight. Draco always won our fights and I didn't want that to happen again. He finally looked at me after a brief pause and the purple flames of the fire reflected in his eyes. "Do you think I just go around killing people as sport?" he asked sharply and I realized my comment was a little rash.

I'm trying not to be that way anymore.

He sighed loudly after a while and ran a hand through his hair.

"I can tell by looking into a mind whether or not it will hold," he said seriously. "It has nothing to do with intelligence. It has to do with the way the mind processes thoughts and feelings. For instance, I couldn't swipe Blaise's memory from seeing you naked even though I wanted it gone but I could easily make Cho Chang believe it was Tuesday if I wished and she is a smart witch."

I blushed again at the thought of Zabini and I crossed my arms over my chest protectively.

"Umbridge is the same way. It may have held for a day, maybe a week, but when she remembered... I would be dead."

I sat back down and stared at my knees for a while before I found the courage to speak again.

The conversation about Umbridge was going nowhere because sometimes talking to Draco was like talking to a totally convincing and intelligent brick wall.

"You don't have to be so mean to Daphne," I told him again for the millionth time. I knew he hated it when I brought it up, but I knew it was wrong of him to be so one sided.

I did promise her I would speak to him and I couldn't tell her the truth every time he snapped at me about it. I thought that I could get through to him, though. I wanted to bring her some good news because Draco was constantly blowing her off. I feared she might develop a nervous tick from it and he seemed ready to talk about things... kind of...

"I think she did you a great favor by following Umbridge to my room," I told him... again... saying the rehearsed words I had been practicing in my mind. "You should be grateful that she stopped her before she went to the Dark Lord."

"Grateful?" he bit that word out like it hurt him to say it. "You think I should be grateful that she forced my hand on a situation like that? It's her fault Umbridge is gone, Ginny. I will not be grateful for that."

"But Draco, I don't think you're being fair," I told him...again... trying to be level headed about it. "If you have to be mad at someone, be mad at me. I'm the one that had the notebook with your plans in it."

"Would you rather I take it out on you?" he asked me with a brow raised.

"You're mad at me already," I mumbled, flicking him a quick glance before looking down at my knees again. "It's obvious." I exhaled slowly as he eyed me. "I just think you should try to be a little bit nicer to Daphne." I rested my elbow against the arm rest and put my head against my forehead. I was tired. I was tired of everything. "She's so nice and you're being mean to her for no reason."

"You're so gullible, Ginny," he repeated in frustration as he ran his hand over his face.

"No, I'm not," I had told him as I brought my hand down to glare at him. "Stop calling me that."

"You think Daphne Greengrass was having all those midnight chats with you because she wants to be your best friend forever and ever?" he asked, using a condescending voice that made my eyes narrow. "She just wanted you to talk to me," he said as he rolled his eyes and turned to the fire again. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that before you understand. I'm tired of talking about it."

I shook my head then because I honestly couldn't believe that. No one can fake crying like she did... or... I don't like to think they could. I liked Daphne. She was my friend and in the dark corner of my mind I had a brief thought of Draco trying to isolate me from true relationships in my life so I would rely on him more... but I banished that thought away. It was almost too evil.

"Well," I snapped hatefully. "Being your wife should have some benefits," I spit out and he glared at me for a few moments before the corner of his mouth turned in a smirk.

"Spoken like a true Malfoy," he said flatly as he knocked his knuckles against the mantle.

"I'm not a Malfoy," I told him and he laughed.

"Your thought process is ridiculous," he replied. He started walking his way back towards me then. I could tell he wasn't half as angry with me as he was from the start. "I'm sick of having this redundant conversation with you. It ends now, is that clear?" he said sternly and I exhaled slowly.

"This isn't even a conversation. You just talk down to me all the time," I admitted to him and he narrowed his eyes slightly.

"I don't talk down to you. I can be just as stubborn as you are and I'm not moving my thoughts on this matter. I want you to understand that so you can save your energy for something else."

"Why do you have to be such a dick?" I said with out a thought and he raised his brows.

"Excuse me?"

"You're acting like a jerk," I told him boldly and he tilted his head to the side.

"I think you misunderstand what you're fighting for right now, darling," he said. His voice dripped with sarcasm. "You want me to stop being mean to your friend? Why doesn't she grow up and tell me that herself instead of using my feelings for you to manipulate everyone? She knows I favor you and she's trying to use that to her own benefit."

I went to reply, but he cut me off sharply.

"The thing with Umbridge had to be done. There is no other way. If she didn't die, then we would probably be dead by now. You have this warped view on what is right in your head right now, but just trust me and my decisions."

"But..." What did he say? I wasn't even sure and I frowned as I tried to make sense of it.

"But nothing," he snapped and I frowned.

"Stop being so terrible to me," I told him flatly and he clenched his fist for a moment before facing me.

"I'm angry, Ginny," he admitted and I nodded.

Obviously.

"The reason why I am so mad at Daphne is because she knows better," he said, walking towards me. "I'm irritated that you left your notebook just hanging out in your trunk for anyone to find, but I can understand you wanting to know what I've been doing. I haven't exactly been forthcoming with you so I can't blame you for that. Greengrass should have known better than to curse Umbridge and leave her bound to a chair while still conscious. There were a thousand other things she could have done, but she made this mess by being an idiot."

I studied his face as he tried to explain it to me with a strangled calm voice, like he was attempting to use his words and not his fists.

"I was under the microscope before, but now I have officially earned the suspicion of a very suspicious man. The Dark Lord is being backed into a corner and that's when he's at his most dangerous. It's not just me this effects. It my whole family, everyone close to me," he added as he sat on the coffee table across from me and he reached out to put some hair behind my hair. "Now, to take the pressure off of me, I have to find a scapegoat for my transactions," he said and that made me furrow my brows. "That's another life ruined, Gin, just because she didn't use her fucking head."

"What do you mean a scapegoat?" I whispered even though I had a good idea. "Who will you choose?"

"I haven't decided who's expendable to me yet," he said flatly and I bit my lower lip. "I hope it won't come to that."

"It wouldn't be like..." I trailed off, thinking of Daphne. "Like anyone I know... like my friend or anything, will it?" I questioned and he looked over my face before touching my neck.

"Don't worry about it. Let me do that for you."

"But... You won't... choose me for that would you?" I asked carefully and he actually laughed.

"Of course not," he smiled at me. "We're at the top of the food chain, babe. Nothing bad happens to us."

I wish I could take those words to heart.

"I have something for you," he said as he reached into his pocket.

I was still confused and a little bit angry, so I wasn't too thrilled by his happier mood.

"What wonderful thing to you have to give me now?" I asked sarcastically and he paused for a moment before smiling.

"You are being awfully catty this morning." He looks me over. "If I had lower self-esteem I think I would be hurt."

"Luckily for me you don't have low self-esteem," I told him, almost laughing at the thought of Draco being self conscience about anything.

"Too true," he smirked before becoming rather serious and leaning forward, putting his hand on my knee. "Don't be mad at me, sweetheart. I'm tired of feeling upset over this. Let's just let it go, yes?" he said, his eyes looking so warmly into mine.

"Yes," I answered before I even thought and when he smiled I knew I would be doomed to a life of agreeing with him just because I loved him too damn much.

He pulled back and smirked, showing me the small vial in his hand. "This," he says as he hands it to me. "Is for you."

"Oh, birth control," I smiled at him with a fake excited voice. "How romantic."

"If you don't wish to take it," he said as he went to grab it. "I can just take it back."

I hold it out of his reach. "Let's not get too hasty," I told him with a smile, trying to be normal and not sad all the time.

Sex with Draco was something that could put me in a good mood, honestly, and I was pleased he was being playful with me. I thought he might even hold me for a little bit afterwords.

It was pathetic, but sometimes I just really needed to be held.

"I could have used this yesterday," I told him when I remembered how, after another heated fight about him being overly mean to people, he had me bent over one of the white shag couch and he came all over my back when he was finished.

"You were the one who wanted me to pull out," he countered and I gave him a look that he smiled at.

I looked at the vial again. "I don't want to get knocked up. My boyfriends would be disappointed."

"Pretending to be a slag is not endearing," he said seriously and I laughed before uncorking the lid and downing it quickly.

"Who's pretending?" I joked and he raised an eyebrow.

"If you would like to give me a demonstration on your abilities, I will be more than willing to oblige you," he had said with a smirk.

"I'm sure you would."

"In any case," he added. "I have something else you might like. I received some news from my father that I think might interest you."

"Good news from your father?" I questioned sarcastically as he moved to sit beside me on the couch. The cushion sunk with his weight, making my body slide closer to his. I watched him curiously as he removed a letter from his pocket. "I am on the edge of my seat to hear it."

"You don't want to know?" he teased as he held the letter in front of me. "I could always keep the information from you if you find the source so distasteful." I rolled my eyes. "Okay," he said as he retracted the letter. "If you don't want to hear about your mother than I might as well just burn this letter."

"Wait," I said quickly as I pounced on him and grabbed the letter. "My mother?" I said quickly as I unfolded it and scanned the page. The handwriting was small and clear and I skimmed the first few paragraphs that talked about a hunting trip that was planned for Draco's winter break and there... at the end...

Unfortunately Binns will be out of commission for the retreat. He has been placed at a post in Knockturn Alley where blood traitors released from Azkaban are under constant surveillance.

"You think my Mom is part of this group?" I said hopefully as I started biting my nails.

"Think?" he said as I skimmed the line again, trying to find more of a clue. It didn't say anything about my mother, but the implication was there. "I know," he said and then I felt him pull my hand away from my mouth. "Stop biting your nails," he said flatly. He's always scolding me for it, but I could hardly care. "Does that news please you?"

I nodded my head. "I could go see her," I said and then my eyes lit up at the idea. "Draco, you could take me!" I told him in excitement as I got up on my knees. "Through that passage in the boy's common room. You could take me."

He looked at me and I knew he was going to say no. I could just tell by the way he was staring at me.

"You forget things so easily," he tapped the letter again. "She is under constant surveillance and you know you're on a tight leash here." I sat back on my heels and frowned again. "Besides," he said flatly. "That's how I was getting to all my meetings and the Dark Lord knows that," he snapped bitterly, but he didn't elaborate further. "But," he added and I looked at him. "I could probably give her a letter during the Hogsemede trip next weekend."

I had forgotten about the trip. I wasn't allowed to go. Besides the obvious fact that I have no one to sign my permission form this year... I doubted the Dark Lord would want me so out in the open where I could run away if I had the chance... not that I would with my family in their dire situation...

"You don't think..."

"Don't think what?" he asked after I trailed off and I gave him a worried look.

"He told me about what happens to the re-education students. The things that he does to them," I said repressing a chill. "Do you think that... that they would do... or did that... to my mom or my other family members?" I whispered when the thought washed over me.

If they can do it to young teens, they could do it to threat level red prisoners. Another thing I have to worry about.

"I don't think so," he said as he reached out to touch my neck. I loved it when he touched me and I welcomed it. "It's called leverage, my love, and you're the golden goose."

I wish I wasn't.

"Would you still love me if I wasn't?" I asked softly and he gave me a little smile.

"I wish you had more confidence in me," he said and I felt guilty so I nodded my head, letting him lean in to kiss me. He was so good at making me feel guilty and making me realize how foolish I was being.

It made me think of my Mother and father and the relationship they always had together. It was nothing like mine and Draco's and I couldn't decide if it was because we loved each other more intensely or more unhealthily... it was a toss up I wasn't all together comfortable with.

That thought brought up another series of uncomfortable realizations.

"Come here," he whispered after a few moments as he laid back against the cushions. He pulled me to him and I curled beside his body so we were facing each other.

I tucked my hands under my cheek as I stared at him.

He stared right back until I looked away.

"I've been thinking," I told him after a lifetime of laying there against him.

"More thoughts?" he said with a raised brow before putting his hand on my hip.

"Yes, I've been thinking about that talk we had," I said seriously as I looked at his lips. "On the Quidditch stands last week."

"What about it?" he asked as he moved in to place a gentle kiss against my jaw.

"I don't want to just sit on the sidelines of my life."

He stopped kissing me.

"I love you... I-I can see a future with you," I told him as he slowly pulled back so he could see my face. "But I want to feel like it's my life too."

"Okay," he said and then he put hair over my shoulder so he could kiss my neck.

He wasn't listening to me so I pushed him back.

"Where does my family fit into your plan?" I asked him. I thought a lot about that too. "I mean, you hate Ron, but he'll be the uncle to your future two possibly three children," I told him and he narrowed his eyes. "I love my family."

"You hardly think about your family," he said and I felt ashamed when I realized it was the truth.

"They mean so much to me," I said softly. "Like you mean so much to me." I reached out to touch him. I needed him to understand. "I want everyone I love to survive this," I had told him. "I want my family to survive this. I want you to get along with my brothers and I want..."

"What?" he asked with a brow raised as he looked at me.

"I want my Dad to like you." I didn't realize how important it was to me until I said it and I covered my mouth because I didn't want to cry. I always cry. I've become annoying. "And I want... to have a say in my own life."

"You always have a say," he said flatly but I think we both knew that wasn't true.

"Okay," I told him as I put my hand down. I didn't want to further that conversation right then. He'd just talk me out of it, or around it. "That's, that's just what I was thinking about."

We laid in silence for a while and then he looked at me for a few long moments before leaning in to kiss me. "You are in luck," he said with a charming smile. "Parents usually love me."

I smiled at his meaning and ran a hand through his hair. "Even my parents?" I questioned with a brow raised and he smirked.

"I have never backed down from a challenge."

He made me happy when he was being sweet and I kissed him again. We continued on like that for a while... just laying against each other and talking softly to each other. It was actually really nice. When we parted, he tucked some hair behind my ear and reminded me to write a letter to my mother for him to take with him.

That earned him another long kiss.

Daphne nudges me again and I blink out of the memory. When I look at her she has a piece of corn stuck to her front tooth. "Does it look like I have a gold tooth?" she asks and I laugh a little.

"It looks like you have a rotten corn tooth," I answer and she smiles before eating it with a laugh.

I go back to staring at my soup and then I chance a glance up to the other table where Draco is sitting with his friends. Draco's not looking at me, but someone else is and when I make eye contact with Blaise, I turn away quickly.

"Will I get to see anyone over break?" I ask Daphne quietly as I poke at my soup. "Will I be able to see you?" I question and she shrugs.

"I suspect you would. I think Blaise's mom will use you as her one way ticket into every high society party."

I frown at that. "Why have I never seen Ruth before?" I question seriously. "If she's Zabini's mom, I think I should have seen her before. I know I would have remembered her," I add because she was that beautiful.

"That's because you've only been to events at Malfoy Manor," she says with a smile like she was divulging a juicy secret. "And Ruth never goes to things at Malfoy Manor."

"Why?" I question softly and it was the right thing to ask because Daphne leaned in close.

"Oh, it's something terrible, I am sure. Ruth and Draco's mother used to be the best of frenimies, of course," she adds with a head nod like it was common knowledge. "They did everything together, even though Mrs. Malfoy always thought Blaise's mom was a little less than, if you know what I mean."

"I guess," I answer and she continues.

"No one particularly liked her in the Malfoy family because she married Blaise's Dad, who was best friends with the old Mr. Malfoy."

"Draco's dad?" I ask in confusion and she shakes her head.

"Draco's Grandfather. Carmine Zabini was an old man by the time Ruth married him. He was already retired as a healer and Ruth was always seen as a gold digger. She had the title," she adds. "But no money. The Zabini family was loaded. Carmine died seven years into the marriage and things started turning sour after that because they said she poisoned him," she whispers like others were listening. "With the help of her lover."

This sounds very dramatic.

"The relationship was always shaky, but something big happened a few years ago and Narcissa Malfoy blacklisted Ruth from a majority of high society functions. It is a horrible thing to get on the bad side of a Malfoy and Narcissa runs society with an iron fist. No one knows what happened, but I bet Ruth is just dying to get a hold of you," she says as she wiggles her brows at me. "That means she has to be welcomed back into society. I bet the Dark Lord didn't even know the history there!" she says with a laugh. "Ruth's family went bankrupt funding the Dark Lord during the first war. It completely ruined her family after the he vanished the first time."

I doubt he would care even if he did know.

"That's sounds like a lot of drama," I say and Daphne laughs.

"I know!" she smiles. "Isn't it brilliant?"

I don't say anything to that.

I look back at Blaise, trying to imagine him as a boy with an ancient father and a beautiful mother who was possibly a murderer...murderess... I'm not sure the proper name, actually.

"Ginny," Daphne whispers to get my attention and I turn away from Blaise. Her happy smile falls flat as she looks at me. "Don't do anything with Zabini," she says and I would have laughed if she wasn't so serious. "Over break," she continues. "Don't let him get close to you."

I snort at the thought. "I don't like him that way... in fact, I don't even like him at all," I say as I take a sip of the soup. It burns and I crinkle my nose before putting the spoon down.

"I know," she says seriously. "But... everyone has an agenda and Blaise...he... he lies," she says. "He lies all the time. He'll lie about anything to get what he thinks he wants."

"I have nothing worth having," I mutter.

"You're wrong," she says, her eyes looking into mine. "You have everything."

I swallow and turn away.

"I'm stronger than that," I tell her with an eyeroll. "He can lie all he wants, it will have no effect on me."

"It works on everyone," she says. "He's so good at it."

I chance a glance at Blaise and Draco again.

I know Zabini is possibly the most beautiful boy I've ever seen, but I was more attracted to Draco. When I have fantasies, they didn't have a sexy naked Blaise in them, they have my boyfriend and I don't see that changing any time soon. No matter what lies he tells me.

"I love Draco," I say honestly.

"I hope that's true," she whispers.

"It is true," I tell her seriously and I even put my hand on her arm so she'll take me seriously.

She nods once and I go back to looking at Draco.

He looks up and smiles at me.

Everyone is going to Hogsmeade tomorrow and I give him a fond smile back because I've already given him the letter for my mother. I hope she's alright. It took me days to figure out what to write to her. I didn't know what to say, but after the first few hard sentences I found my hand whipping through stories and thoughts, and hopes... I wrote six pages and when I handed it all to Draco he raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

He's not eating much either and I frown in worry until the intercom comes on and drowns out the hall, jumping me out of my daze.

"Attention," says a female voice over the loud speaker and we all stop talking to listen to the announcement. "Ginevra Weasley is to report to the Headmaster's office immediately. Ginevra Weasley to the Headmaster's office," the voice repeats before beeping off and it feels like a thousand eyes turn towards me at the same time.

I put my head down and gather up my things before scurrying out of the room. What now? I dread to know as I walk the long halls towards Snape's office. What terrible thing did I do and what is waiting for me there? I've been trying to keep my toe in line like he wanted. What if they found out about my involvement with Umbridge? What if he hurts my family?

I'm a nervous wreck by the time I reach the head master's office and I start biting my nails as I wait to be let in.

Snape is waiting for me when the door opens and I tuck hair behind my ears nervously as he tells me to sit down.

"Let me get right to the point," he says as he steeples his fingers. I put my bag down and carefully slip into the seat across from his imposing desk. "Every person who has been put in the way of watching you this year has not ended up in a very pleasing condition," he says and I swallow hard and look at my lap, not wanting to be blamed for anything else.

Please don't hurt my family. Please don't hurt my family. I keep repeating that thought in my mind, willing it to happen.

"The Dark Lord is very concerned about it, as I am sure you know," he says, eying me closely as I fiddle with my fingers. "And it has also been brought to his attention that you do not have a familiar."

"A familiar?" I whisper softly and he nods sharply as I look at his dark eyes.

"So the Dark Lord saw fit to combine two issues into one," he says as he walks over to the closet at the back of the room and he opens it up.

My insides freeze over when a large green snake slithers from the confines and heads straight towards me. "I don't understand," I whisper as the creature winds it's body around my chair. I swallow hard again and try not to shudder in disgust when I feel the scales against my ankle.

I'm too scared to move. All I want to do is jump on the desk to get away from the snake and scream until someone kills it.

"Nagini is a favorite pet of our Lord," he says and I watch the creature as it moves about the room like a green river on the carpet. "I think you will find her a very intelligent and attentive companion." I glance down at the snake and make a face. "I will warn you that the Dark Lord can easily see through Nagini's eyes as he does his own. I would remain to my studies if I was you."

"But... what do I do with it?" I ask as it's tongue flicks against the air. I don't want to be by it. It freaks me out and I hate it. "I-I don't want it," I say seriously, trying not to freak out. "I don't like snakes."

"You seemed rather fond of her at the Malfoy Halloween dinner," he points out.

I was under the influence then. I would never EVER pet a snake if I was in my right mind.

I shake my head. "I don't know how to care for a snake. I don't want it. Can't I have a cat?" I plead and he shakes his head.

"You don't need to do anything," he says. "She is more than capable of taking care of herself. Also, I doubt that your room-mates in the girl's tower would appreciate the kind of familiar your are requiring today," he says, motioning to the snake. "You'll be moving to a more private room."

"I... what?" I say in confusion and he blinks slowly for a moment before continuing.

"Professor Carrow is to show you your new lodging."

"But..."

"Just a little advice," he says, leaning forward to address me closely. "Do not do anything in front of this snake that you would not like the Dark Lord to see," he says and I look at the snake again. I might have a panic attack. "She is to be your constant companion, so be respectful."

"What if it bites me?" I whisper and he shakes his head.

"Nagini is not a normal snake," he says as he sits back in his chair. "She is more intelligent than most of the students here," he adds as he makes a sweeping motion with his hand. "And older than most as well. She will not do anything she should not."

I gulp hard and shake my head. I don't want this stupid scary snake following me around all the time!

He presses a button on his desk and Carrow walks in, glaring at me with beady eyes .

"Go with Professor Carrow," Snape says, waving a dismissive hand. "I think you'll find all your belongings already transferred."

"I..."

"Goodbye, Miss Weasley."

"But..."

Carrow puts her hand on my shoulder and I let myself get pulled up. I don't know what to do, so I just follow like a child and I nearly start crying when I hear the snake slithering behind me. We walk down an abandoned hallway and when we reach the end of the hall, Carrow pushes a random door open.

"Here's your new room," she says as I look around with a cold feeling settling on my heart.

It's barely bigger than a broom closet. I look at the small bed and the equally small desk against the wall with trepidation in my heart. The walls are stone, as well as the floor, and there are no windows.

It's dark and the few candles along the walls hardly help.

"There are no windows," I point out as I spot a round basket in in the corner, full of pillows. When the snake slides towards it I realize what it is and I try to hold back tears again.

"You don't need them," Carrow says from the doorway as Nagini slithers into her bed.

"What about my privacy?" I ask and she raises a brow as I look at the snake.

"The ladies bathroom is right down the hall and besides," she says as she taps her fingers in midair where the door should be. "You and your familiar are the only creatures the room with allow to enter."

"Now one else?" I say with a worry as I look at the snake, curling up in a wicker basket in the corner.

"Who else would you need?"

"What about my friends?" I ask worriedly and Carrow laughs.

"Nagini will accompany you to your classes," she says and I feel like I might throw up. "She will take time to hunt in the forbidden forest, but I wouldn't count on her being absent from your side for long. She takes her tasks very seriously, you see, and she would love a reason to... discipline you," Carrow says with a twinkle in her evil eye. "She has a taste for human flesh."

"Human flesh?" I repeat softly.

"Enjoy your time with your new friend," she says with an evil laugh and I make a face. "Goodnight Weasley," she says before closing the door.

I guess she's being so mean because I cursed her. Yes, that's probably it.

That's when I see the hole in the door, just the size for the snake and I sit down on my bed and cross my arms as the snake moves about the room.

This is like a nightmare.

A horrible, horrible nightmare.

I stare at the snake and I've never felt more like a prisoner of my own life.

I bring my legs up to my chest and I rest my chin on my knees as I stare at the snake named Nagini. I don't sleep. I don't move. I just stare at the creature and when it cocks it's ugly head to look at me I could swear that more intelligent eyes were looking back at me.

I hate my life.

I'm losing my mind.

I can't sleep. I'm constantly paranoid that Nagini is going to slide into my bed and... I don't know... touch me... that I can't even get comfortable enough to lay down.

I hate that fucking snake.

It follows me everywhere. The only time I'm by myself is when I'm in the loo or during random classes when she leaves to hunt poor souls in the forbidden forest. No one wants to talk to me. No one wants to talk to the freakish girl who's getting followed by a snake and I can't say that I blame them. Daphne approaches me sometimes, but she's afraid of snakes so every time Nagini gets close she practically runs away.

People literally run from me now.

I haven't had a chance to talk to Draco yet. To see if he saw my mother... or give her my letter. I miss him. I'm lonely and I want to talk to someone, but I can't because she is always there... right by my side, freaking everyone out.

I hate this snake.

As I think that, she slithers under the table and curls around my feet. I want to stab her with my quill and leave her to die.

That's how much I hate her.

I'm in the library. Of course, no one is by me. There are a few students on the other side of the room but that's about it and every once and a while someone will look at me and give me a face like it was my fault I had a snake with me.

I fantasize about killing her.

It's morbid, really, how mean my thought's have gotten, but I don't care.

I'm fairly certain that she can't read because if she could she would probably be concerned with my reading material.

Care of magical creatures has become my best friend.

I want to know how to charm this snake to make it leave me alone.

I think I've found a spell to confound her. It might give me enough time to talk to Draco one of one. I feverishly write down notes from the book, all about how to charm reptiles and how much magic to use on one as large as her.

She hisses at something and I kick her side. I don't even care if she bites me and she hisses again at my foot.

I hate this snake.

I pack up my books and fling the bag over my shoulder. I don't even bother to wait on her as I start heading towards the Great Hall for dinner. She follows, of course. She always follows and I glare at her when we go inside because everyone hates her as well. And because of that they hate me because they think it's my fault she is constantly around, scaring everyone.

It is my fault, in a way, I guess so it's not far off mark.

I sit by myself at the end of the half blood table and I load up my plate as I think about the spell I'm going to test out tonight. It will knock her out for three hours if I do it correctly but I don't want to take my chances. I only need an hour or so to talk to Draco.

Draco.

An idea hits me and I reach into my bag again and pull out a blank sheet of paper and my quill. I scribble down a quick note and then look across the way to Daphne who's sitting by Pansy and Millicent.

I wave at her.

She waves back.

I shake my head and wave at her again. I'm not waving to say hi, stupid girl, I'm waving so she'll come to me.

She takes one look at the snake by my feet before shaking her head and saying sorry. I slump my shoulders and turn to Pansy. She's not afraid of snakes and when I make the same motion, she raises her brows before standing up and walking towards me.

Ugh, thank god.

"Hey," I whisper when she's close as I write Give to Draco on top of the folded letter. "How's it going?" I ask as I pass it to her.

"Good?" she says as she raises a brow and looks at the note.

"I just wanted to see how your Hogsmeade trip was," I lie as I point to the letter and then put a finger over my mouth so she won't say anything in front of the snake that makes me paranoid.

"It was good," she says, nodding in understanding as she pockets the note. "How is your new familiar?" she asks, glancing at the snake who's poking it's head out from under the table to watch now.

"It's fine," I lie with a fake smile and she nods before walking back to her table.

I eat my dinner because I need to eat. Because if I don't eat I'll die. I've already lost so much weight this year. Not the good kind of weight loss, but the kind that makes me look sick and unhealthy and I have to be strong. I need to survive this. Long enough for Harry, or Draco, or anyone else to fix this.

After dinner I go back to my lonely room and I light the candles with my wand as my companion slithers in behind me. I glance at her as I go to my writing desk and I take out my homework to complete. Since Nagini has been with me I've become the best of students. All my homework is done well and on time and I proof read all of it on my own even without Draco's assistance.

I'm officially a nerd.

After I finish up a potions essay and my configuration assignment, I tuck them away in my folder and then take out the notes I had taken from the library. I look them over and then I look at Nagini curled in the corner, watching me.

"Do you like being a snake?" I ask because I have no one else to talk to. I might as well talk to her.

She raises her head, but, of course, says nothing. I purse my lips and look down at the notes again.

"You know," I say as I take out my wand. "There's that old legend about how snakes were made. They say snakes used to have feet like a lizard," I say as I stand up with my wand in one hand and my notes in the other. "But an unfortunate snake scared a powerful witch so badly, that she cursed the creature so it would have to slither on it's belly for all eternity. The curse was so powerful that it stuck," I say as my eyes skip over the words of the spell. "Do you believe you're cursed, Nagini?" I ask as I lift my wand.

I do the spell and a jet of light shoots from my wand and hits her right between the eyes.

She freezes for a moment, and then her neck falls, resting against her curled up body. I watch carefully as her eyes shut and I smile a little to myself. I go over to her after a few moments and poke her with my wand. She doesn't move and I nearly laugh. I wait for a while until I'm sure she's knocked out and then look at the clock.

Just on time.

I practically run out of the room and sprint down the halls towards the room of requirement. I stop and walk fast when I past other students so I don't look suspicious, but then I start running again once they're out of the way.

"Where are you running to?" Someone stops me with a jolt and I screech to a stop in front of Blaise Zabini.

When I open my mouth to retort, he taps his prefect badge.

"I'm on patrol right now," he says with a glint in his eyes. "I'm in charge."

"Get out of my way," I snap at him as I move to go around him but he slides in front of me to block the hall. "Move."

"I enjoy it when you get so flustered like this."

"Oh, shut up!" I yell at him because I'm on a time crunch. "Get out of the way. I'm going to meet Draco."

That changed his mood. He slid to the side to let me pass and I glared at him before going on my way.

"You won't always be running towards him," he says so softly I barely hear it.

I don't even care and I start running again when I'm sure he's out of the way.

"Did you run the whole way here?" Draco asks when I open the door and I run over to him right away, my heart pumping with adrenalin.

I jump on his lap and kiss him quickly.

He smiles.

"How ever did you get away from your new babysitter?" he asks as I loosen his tie and kiss his jaw.

"I cursed her," I say quickly. "With a spell I got from a Care of Magical Creatures book. Who knew that class had a purpose?" I ask and he laughs. "Were you able to to give the letter to my mother?" I ask him as I unbutton a few buttons on his shirt so I can put my hand on his chest.

It just calms me down. I don't know why.

"I did," he says and I kiss him again.

"Did you see her? Is she okay? Does she looks taken care of?"

"I didn't get a chance to see her," he says and I pull back to give him a questioning look. "I had to quickly stuff the letter through the door, but I didn't see her. I'm sorry," he says and I nod my head.

"Thank you," I tell him. "For doing that for me. I'm sure it wasn't easy."

"There wasn't much to it," he says casually. "How's living with a snake?"

"Terrible."

I tell him everything, about how she keeps me awake at night and the weird little room we have to share. The whole time, he just kept creeping his hand up my thigh until he finally reached under my skirt.

I ignored it.

"I hate her," I end up saying after telling him everything and he nods his head.

"He's spying on you," he says seriously as his hand slips under my tights and knickers. "The Dark Lord," he confirms and I nod my head when he starts petting me. "Do you know why?" he ask with a brow raised.

"Because I'm the golden goose?" I ask as I bite my lower lip and he nods his head.

"Yes," he says with a head nod. I arch my back a little. "And Potter is almost finished with his work," he says with light in his eyes. "If I didn't know any better, I would think the Dark Lord was nervous," he says with a little smile.

Nervous.

I'm nervous. "I should go back," I tell him softly as I attempt to pull his hand away from me, but he's stronger and it doesn't work. "I'm not sure how powerful my curse is. I don't want Nagini waking up with out me there."

Stupid Zabini took up some of my precious time as well.

I glare when I think of him.

Draco's fingers don't let up and he starts to kiss my neck again "Can you do this again?" he asks with a brow raised. "Knock her out to see me?"

I nod my head with a little smile and turn to kiss him. "If this works, I suspect I'll be using that curse a lot."

"Good," he says pushing his fingers inside of me and I inhale deeply.

"Wait, Draco, I think I should go," I tell him worriedly even though I don't want to. I try to pull his hand away again, and he lets me. "I can stay longer next time. When I'm sure my curse will hold," I tell him and he nods his head, letting me stand up.

I go to walk to the door with Draco trailing behind me.

"One more thing," he says as he grabs me and pushes me against the wall.

I laugh. "I have to go," I tell him with a smile as he kisses my cheek.

"I'm sure your curse will hold a bit longer," he says as he actually rips my tights.

I gasp.

"I wanted to talk to you about this," he says as he brings his hands up to my school shirt.

"What about it?" I ask as runs his hands over my breasts.

"Are you aware that you had your shirt halfway unbuttoned all the way through dinner," he says as I look down at my shirt. The three top buttons are undone, but that's it. "Don't do this anymore," he says seriously and I give him a look. "If you decide to be so unclothed, then at least wear a shirt underneath."

I laugh, but he just glares down at me.

"Wait," I say with a brow furrowed. "You're being serious," I say flatly as I let my smile fall.

"Of course I am," he says as he takes it upon himself to unbutton my shirt the rest of the way. "I could see your bra every time you moved. Did you want everyone to look at you?"

I blush at the thought.

"Oh," is all I say with a frown as he takes off his shirt and start unbuckling his belt. "I didn't realize you could see my bra," I mutter and he kisses me.

"Now you know," he says before lifting me up.

Of course, I was already ready for him so he could easily make me his again. He was so good at that.

"You don't seem to mind that I'm showing my bra now," I tell him with a laugh as he slams me against the wall and I hold onto his shoulders for balance.

"If I had it my way, I would be the only person who could ever look at you."

"That sounded weird and unhealthy," I tell him with a smile because I think he's joking. I'm sure he's kidding...

"I don't care," he says with a growl and a hard thrust.

I let out a little yell and grip him a bit tighter. "I think you need to calm down," I tell him, half joking as I kiss his neck.

"I can not wait until all this bullshit is over," he says, leaving an open mouthed kiss against my shoulder. "I think I'll take off a whole month just so I can fuck you at my leisure."

I snort in laughter and kiss his lips. "You act like I don't have a life."

"You shouldn't. I'd chain you to the bed if I had to."

"Of course you would," I tell him with an eye roll. "You dominant beast."

"Nice guys finish last," he tells me, holding onto my hip with crushing strength. I know it's going to bruise later but I can't find it in me to care.

After a few moments, he furrows his brows and his jaw clenches... then he shakes his head.

"Fuck," he says before throwing me against one of the couches.

The cushions feel better on my back and I welcome the surprise as he continues to drill into me, never missing a beat. He's on fire right now and I smile at the thought as I start to sweat from his closeness. I stare at the ceiling as he claims me for the millionth time and I muse over it's content. It has a swirling pattern that looks like the night sky and I run my hand up his back as I study the colors.

"Damn it..." I hear him whisper against my ear in frustration. He tilts my hips up and start slamming into me so hard that I actually whimper.

"That doesn't feel very good," I tell him gently because I don't want him to stop, I just want him to stop hitting me so hard. It's at a weird angle and it felt painful because the position was making me pull a muscle somewhere.

He doesn't stop, he just starts slamming into me harder and I clench my jaw. "Draco," I say to get his attention as I grip the pillows so my head doesn't slam into the armrest. "It's starting to hurt."

He pushes into me so hard I whimper again and then he stops all together. He's still hard. I can feel him and he's panting as he looks down at me with narrowed eyes.

I give him a questioning look for the terrible way he's looking at me.

"Why aren't you fucking me back?" he snaps like it bothered him and I'm confused. He starts moving again, his teeth clenched as he tears into me so hard that tears almost sting my eyes.

I try to ride it out until my body gets used to it, but when he fists his hand in my hair I can't do it anymore.

"That hurts!" I yell at him and he shakes his head as he loosens his hand.

He still looks pissed off and after a few moments, he stops moving again.

"Goddamnit, Ginny," he hisses.

I open my mouth to respond, only to have him pull out of me completely. He still has an erection and I blush when I see it.

"What?" I ask as he glares down at me and I move my hand down between my legs because he was being too rough and it's actually kind of painful.

"You always move your hips. You're not doing that now. What has you so distracted? Who are you thinking about right now?" he snaps in question and I furrow my brows.

"No one... I'm not thinking of anything," I tell him, as I reach up to touch his chest.

He grabs my hand and looks into my eyes.

I know what he's doing and I block his intrusion into my mind. I actually was able to keep him out, but it just pissed him off and he started to get up.

"Babe, no," I tell him as I get up on my knees to stop him. I put my hand on his shoulder and kiss the corner of his mouth. "I wasn't thinking of anything. It was feeling good. You always feel good but that angle was hurting me," I tell him as I kiss his mouth again. "I don't know why you're so upset," I admit as I stare into his eyes. They have yet to change from their coldness. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he snaps.

"Why do you always do this?" I question softly. "You always get these crazy ideas in your head."

"Shut up," he hisses and I furrow my brows.

I don't know what to say to that and he stares at me for a few tense moments before he faces forward on the couch and puts his head in his hands.

I've never seen him look so... out of control and I hesitated a moment before sitting behind him and kissing his shoulder.

"What is it?" I ask softly as I trail my lips against his skin. I wrap my arms around his torso in hopes of calming him.

"Nothing," he snaps hatefully and I shake my head. He can't see it, but I do it anyways. "Don't block your mind from me," he says after a few moments of heavy silence. "It pisses me off."

I stop touching him and sit back. "Well, it pisses me off that you think you can just spy on my thoughts anytime you like."

"You shouldn't have anything to hide from me," he replies coldly.

"And you should trust me enough to know that without digging through my thoughts." He doesn't say anything for a few minutes and I sigh. "What is really troubling you?" I ask him because I know he's not mad just about this. There seems to be something boiling under the surface and I'm getting the brunt of it. "You can explain it to me, use your words like you did the last time we were in here."

"You're the only thing that's troubling me right now," he says with venom in his voice and I blink a few times. "You know the things you do fucking irritate me."

"Because I'm not fucking you the way you want me to? You were being selfish and hurting me just because you couldn't preform!" I say hatefully in hopes of hurting him and when he looked at me with his gray eyes glassy and flat... I knew I had done just that and I regretted it instantly.

"Don't talk to me that way," he says in a deadly voice and I was actually a little terrified for a moment as he glared.

"Then you don't talk to me that way," I counter and he looks forward again.

He exhales slowly like he was trying to calm his temper from tearing my head off and he rubbs his forehead as I glare at him.

"I'm leaving," I tell him as I get up.

I start to get dressed again, and he doesn't say a word to me until I reach the door.

"Do you actually love me?" he asks softly and I glare at him over my shoulder with the hand on the door knob. "I mean, do you really love me?"

"Yes," I tell him with out any feeling behind it because I won't let him use it against me. "And it's moments like these that make me question my sanity for even feeling that way."

He doesn't say anything for a few moments, he just looks at the wall. "I actually love you," he says with a brow raised as he stares ahead of him. "I think that might be the stupidest thing I've ever done."

Wow.

"Do you say things just to hurt me?" I ask him harshly and he finally looks at me.

"No," he says as he shakes his head and stands up. He starts walking towards me and I narrow my eyes at him. "No, I don't," he whispers and when he's close enough, he touches my cheek and puts his forehead against mine. "I'm tired," he admits after a moments silence. "I feel like I have to act all the time..." he trails off and shakes his head. "I'm overwhelmed."

I hesitate a moment before bringing my hand up and placing it over his. I try to bite my anger down because he looks so... he looks so exhausted.

"Of course you are," I tell him gently, trying to be understanding and ignoring the injustice that I feel over the things he just said to me. "I don't even know half the stuff you do, but I can't imagine being as young as you with all these big plans in the works. It has to be stressful."

He nods his head and closes his eyes.

"Do your parents..." I stop myself before continuing. "Do your parents know what you're doing?"

"Not everything," he admits. "But they know enough. They don't want to follow the Dark Lord either."

"Oh," I whisper as I look down at his shoes.

"You stress me out the most," he says as he pulls back to look at me. "I think about you all the time. I obsess over you constantly," he says with a little sneer as he pulls back and starts walking away from me. "Do you have any idea what that feels like?" he snaps at me like it was my fault. "How inconvenient it is for me to be so worried about someone else all the time?"

I try to hide my smile as he glares, but I can't help it. I actually laugh a little.

"Why are you laughing at me?" he snaps and I walk towards him.

"How inconvenient love is for you," I tell him with a little smile.

He's lost on the joke and he puts his hands on his hips. "Stop smiling. This isn't funny."

This whole conversation actually made him a bit more endearing, and I lost all anger at how ridiculous he was as I walked towards him and put my hand on his chest again. I found that even a Malfoy could be stressed and even though he handled it like a right jerk, I couldn't stay angry with him.

"I actually do love you," I tell him in confirmation as I start taking off my shirt again. I pause a moment to kiss him. "You can talk to me about things," I tell him as I start to unhook my bra. "You don't have to worry about what you say. You can trust me, Draco... I'm trying to not be so rash in my actions. I want to grow up more." I lick my lips. "I can block my mind a lot better now."

"Unfortunately for me," he says with darkened eyes as I take his hand and lead him back to the couch.

I lay back and pull him on top of me as I spread my legs. "I know your life is stressful," I tell him as I run my hand through his hair.

I always think of myself. I never think of how messed up Draco's life is. All of his plans had to have come from somewhere and it makes me think of the kind of childhood that he always hints towards. I'm sure it wasn't the loving carefree one I had and he has so much on his shoulders. He wants to kill the Dark Lord. How brave is that? It's impossibly brave to go against something you were always taught and I spread my legs a bit wider to give him room.

This is something I can give him. We all have a place like he said and I guess I could be a little bit more ...helpful to him. I bite my lip as I think about it. If this was Harry and I still loved him, I don't even think I would question it. I would just do what he asked me because I trusted him... and... right? I shake my head and bring my hand up to Draco's neck. I hate that I stress him out.

I'm a terrible girlfriend.

He does have a lot on his plate and I haven't been very understanding of that. It makes me feel guilty and I reach between our bodies so I can guide him into my body.

"You can... You can go hard like you were before if you liked it," I tell him as I angle my hips up to align with his. "I wont... I won't tell you to stop or anything," I tell him because I want to make him feel better. Small scarifies, I guess. "I'll get used to it after a while."

He stares down at me, his eyes softening. "That was mean of me," he admits. "My love making shouldn't be painful to you... unless it's the good kind of pain," he says with a smug little smile because he does know how I like it a little rough sometimes. "Or you're being punished," he says with a sinful smile as he bends down to nip at my ear lobe.

"What a lovely thought," I say and he smiles as he eases into me gently.

"Would you like to see how I punish bad witches?" he asks with humor shining in his eyes.

I smile. "I would love to," I tell him with my brows raised before thrusts into me.

"I'll have you screaming by the end of it," he says suggestively before claiming my lips.

The most annoying thing about Draco is that he usually ends up being right. This time it was to my benefit.

When I finally get back to my room, with my tattered tights in hand, Nagini is still asleep on her bed. I get dressed quickly in my pj's, watching her the whole time then I slide into my bed. When I dream, I dream about flying.

I've had this dream before and when my bird legs land me on the shaking boat, I feel something on my leg. I jump awake and throw back the covers. Nagini is on my bed, right up against my leg, staring at me.

I scream.

"Get off of my bed!" I yell as I stand up. "Go away!" I hiss and she slinks off the bed, but when she looks at me it's like she knows what I did to her and she wanted me to know that she knew.

She's just an animal. I keep telling myself that.

I used the curse three more times on her during the week. The first time I met Draco in the room of requirement for another talk and shag session, the second night I met with Daphne and we drank wine and laughed about silly things. The third night I just got out and walked about the castle, glad to be on my own...before meeting up with Draco.

I was always back when she would wake up and I was even nicer to her during the day. I became a bit braver and decided to do the curse one Wednesday morning so I could go to class with out her following me so I could actually sit with my friends... or people, for that matter. No one wanted to sit with me with Nagini close by and I wanted some companionship that wasn't shagging Draco or an animal.

I made it through half the day with out trouble and when I passed by the third floor girl's bathroom, Myrtle appeared out of thin air to follow me to my next class.

"Where's the snake?" she asked and I shrugged, not wanting anyone to know what I had done. "Where have you been, Ginny?" she asks with an exaggerated pout. "I haven't seen you in ages and ages."

"I know," I say, feeling bad about it as I pass a large group of students. They all stare at me.

First I was the weird girl with the snake, now I'm the weird girl with a ghost.

Just great.

"I'm sorry," I tell her after a few moments. "I should come and visit you more often."

"Yes," she says with a head nod. "You should. I have more questions, you know!" she yells and it echos down the hall.

I look around to see if anyone heard that and of course they did.

"Like I heard this one the other day," she says as she floats in front of me and I stop in surprise. She gets very close to me and scrunches up her nose. "What does a donkey punch mean?"

I'm saved from answering that question when I hear a few screams and I look over my shoulder to see what the commotion is.

I feel her before I see her.

I screamed out loud, that's how badly it hurt, and I immediately dropped to the ground from the crippling and intense pain on my lower leg.

I hear a hiss and when I look to my left, I see Nagini hovering by me, spitting at me in a defensive snake move. Tears spring to my eyes as I grab my leg and she coils around my body as students run away.

She obviously woke up from my curse and I damned myself for trying to be bold during the day. It's bleeding, it's bleeding a lot and with a sob I rip my tights open to see the wound. The two fang marks are surrounded by black vein looking spider webs and I try to press my hand against it to close the wound, but it just won't stop bleeding.

I can't believe that bitch bit me!

"Myrtle," I whine to get her attention because I know she has to be somewhere close by. The snake stares menacingly at me like there was intelligence behind it's yellow eyes but I try to ignore it. "Please."

"Oh my!" I hear the ghost's voice as she floats beside me, sitting cross legged to watch me, hovering two feet above the ground. "What mess have you gotten yourself into?"

"G-Get a teacher or something," I tell her as more blood spews from the wound. Spews. It's actually spewing and now I'm feeling lightheaded as it pools underneath me.

"Why?" she asks curiously as she watches me try to stop the bleeding with my hands. Puddles of blood. "If you die we can hang out all the time."

I glare at her and her warped thoughts about my mortality and then I look at the snake. "You're a bad snake!" I yell at it as it stares at me. "You're a bad terrible snake!"

"Ginny!" I heard Pansy yell my name as students gather around. I didn't even notice them, really. I'm starting to feel woozy. "Are you okay?" she asks as she drops her bag and kneels beside me.

Snot was running freely down my face and I try again to press my hand against my leg. "It won't stop bleeding," I say as she takes out her wand.

"Let me see if I can close it. Move your hand," she says and I do so reluctantly.

"Your lips are white," I hear Myrtle sing by my side. "It's not a good look," she adds and I glare again as Pansy looks disgusted at the wound. "You look like a ghost!"

"It won't close," she says worriedly as I try to drown out Myrtle's giggles. "My spell's not working."

"Pansy," I say with a weak voice and she looks at me with her brows together. "I think I might pass out," I say honestly as I see little dots in front of my eyes. "Don't let me die. I don't want to hang out with Myrtle all day."

"I heard that!" Myrtle yells right before I close my eyes and faint.

When I dream, I dream of sex.

A strange drunk kind of sex where my eyes can only focus on one thing at a time, leaving the rest blurry and dark. A hand on my shoulder, pushing down my bra strap. A man's bare chest in front of me. My hand going through dark hair. Sweat on a man's neck that I lick off.

The noises are amplified. A gasp from my lips echos in my ears. A zipper being pulled down sounds like nails on a chalk board. A smack against flesh is like an avalanche.

Feelings are intense. A bite against my shoulder feels like a razor blade. Being thrown against a table feels like a train wreck. A kiss feels like heaven and my orgasm feels like flying.

It was dirty painful sex and I was just a sweating naked heap on a black leather couch when it was through. I can hardly focus on the body resting on top of mine, taking my breath away.

"Do you see?" I hear someone say in my fog of lust and I look to the right where there's a floating sphere.

It's small, the size of a Quaffle, and I stare at it as it spins on a axis. Suddenly I'm standing right in front of it. Staring as it turns and moves.

It looks like the world. A world I could hold in my hand.

"Do you like it?" I hear the same voice ask and I nod my head as that person comes up behind me, putting a hand on my stomach.

I reach out to touch it, and when my fingers graze it, it bursts into flames.

"Lovely isn't it?" I hear the voice say as he kisses my shoulder and when I look to see who it is, I see Tom.

When I turn back to the burning world... standing on the other side I see Draco.

"Hold off on all future correspondence."

I shake my head as I stare at the world. That doesn't really go with the dream.

"If it's force he wants, then let us oblige him."

What?

I blink a few times, officially waking from sleep and when I see the back of a black leather couch I feel my stomach drop. I try to sit up, only to fall back down with a weak thump.

"I believe Sleeping Beauty is awake. You may go now, Severus."

I hear footsteps leave and then a door closing. I try to focus more on staying awake, but when I hear the slithering of that damn snake I wish I was still asleep. I blink hard again and sit up. The couch is against a wall, an ochre colored wall, and swallow the large lump in my throat before turning my body until it's sitting properly on the couch.

It looks like an office. A very modern looking office with black shelves against the far wall full of books and papers. There are two large windows on the opposite wall, covered by a sheer white curtain that has a black design printed on it. My eyes focus on the metallic looking desk I was trying to avoid. There he is, writing on a piece of parchment with a black feathered quill, looking completely at home in the modern work setting.

It surprises me, actually. I always pictured the Dark Lord in an ancient castle surrounded by velvet and stone walls.

"You lost a lot of blood. That doesn't please me," he says, never once looking up from his papers as I stare at him and his tailored black suit. "I'm sure I don't need to tell you that Nagini's venom is very toxic."

I feel like I'm in hell and I look down.

"There is a very special antidote that's needed to close up a wound from one of her bites. Of course," he says, sparing me a little glance as I find the strength to sit up. "You would know all about that. I understand that Arthur Weasley was in the hospital for months trying to find it."

"I know," I say as I tuck hair behind my ear and I look down at my leg where that damned snake bit me. It's all healed now, but I can see two raised scars where the fangs came in. "I remember," I whisper as I recall how scary and how sad it was after my father was attacked at the ministry.

Thinking of my Dad makes me sad, and thinking of him makes me think of everyone else and then I start to panic.

"I didn't do anything wrong," I say quickly, feeling the need to explain that so he doesn't kill my Mom like he said. "Your snake overslept. She had no right to bite me."

"Over slept?" he says, looking up from his papers to stare at me. "Is that the story you are going to stick to?"

I nod my head, feeling a bit nervous when his snake hisses. Tom looks down at her and then nods his head before looking back at his paper.

"Well, that is obviously a lie. So let's try again, shall we?"

I exhale slowly and look down. "She never leaves me alone."

"That's her job," he counters and I nod.

"I just... I just wanted some alone time. She didn't have to bite me!" I say seriously. "Everyone avoids me when she's around. I just... wanted to go to class without everyone staring at me," I half lie and he raises a brow.

"Your life must be so hard," he says sarcastically. "Heaven forbid a snake damper your popularity. I'm only running a country, taking over the world, changing the way of life for everyone on the planet but time stops when Ginevra Weasley feels like she's not getting enough attention from her friends."

I don't say anything.

"You had a dream about me," he says and I snap my head up. He gives me an appraising look as I blush in shame. "It was a sexual dream," he says with a smug smile. "I'm pleased that your mind thinks I can preform so well."

I blush so hot that I think I may melt, but I can't bother to respond.

"I didn't do... I didn't do anything on purpose... to be bad," I say softly. "Don't... don't hurt my mother."

"It sounds like you're telling me what to do," he says and I shake my head. "I can't have that, Miss Weasley," he says as he moves his paper to the side and picks up another.

"I-I wasn't telling you what to do," I say softly. "I'm just... I don't want to... I don't want you to do anything to my family. I wasn't doing anything terrible. I was just going to class!" I say as I ball up my fist against my thigh.

"You love them," he says and I'm not sure if it's a question or not, but I nod anyways. "I find love to be a fleeting amusement. Many people who claim to love each other will offer up that love on a platter if it suited them."

"You must not know so many good people," I mutter and he thinks on that for a moment before nodding his head.

"That may be so, but the stats are alarmingly clear. It's a foolish past time to those who take it seriously and dire for those who don't realize how foolish it is."

A silence falls between us and he goes back to scrapping his quill against the paper.

I stare at him as he writes. He still looks airbrushed, like someone not totally human but impossibly beautiful in his inhuman perfection. It's not natural. He seems old, he feels old, but he looks so young. It likes the children in those toddler beauty pageants where they paint up three year old's like prostitutes and prance them around in colorful clothes. It gives you a slightly off putting feeling but it's hard to look away... that's how I feel when I look at him.

"Haven't you ever loved anyone?" I whisper, trying to stop myself from saying it but unable to hold back.

"No," he says simply like that wasn't the saddest answer ever.

"No one? Ever?"

"I said no," he says as he turns to a fresh page.

"Not even when you were little? Like a toddler. Didn't you love your mother?"

With that he snapped me a look that made me lean back. "Do you not understand what no means?" I look down. "There is no such thing as love," he says and I shake my head in disagreement. "There's lust, there's amusement, there's attachment... even admiration at times, but the romanticized love does not exist. I have never known such a feeling then I know it must not be true."

There is no logic in that and I would have told him so if I was braver.

"You say you 'love' someone because they have something you want, something to offer you. Money, prestige, social acceptability... a good looking bed mate... whatever it may be it's more of a partnership than an emotion based feeling. Even love between a parent and a child is a fabricated tale born more from social responsibility more than actual attachment."

He has a lot to say on the matter.

"Love does not rule all like all those books and plays want you to believe. People like to say it does because it makes them sleep better at night thinking that something so attainable to even the poorest of wizards can concur all. But it can't. Ambition is the only true thing in the world. Power concurs all, Ginevra. If love is real, then it must be for idiots."

"Then I must be stupid," I whisper and he nods his head.

"Immensely."

I blush a shade darker, but refuse to raise to his bait and fight him on it.

"But I would rather you be stupid than conniving. You can never settle around a conniving witch," he says, giving me a smug little smirk that I can't stand. He puts his quill down and dusts off his shirt.

"This will be your last year at Hogwarts," he says and I furrow my brows. "I was going to let you finish out your schooling, but I've changed my mind on the matter. It seems you can't handle it and since Nagini has cramped your style so thoroughly, I suspect you won't mind either."

At the mention of her name, the snake rears it's ugly head from behind the desk.

"You'll go with Ruth Davenport over the winter holiday. Luckily for everyone it's only a couple days away so you're not ruining everyone's week. I will decide what to do with you after that. I don't know if it would be in anyone's best interest if you return to Hogwarts. I doubt it would be in mine considering what a headache you've become to everyone involved."

"Okay."

"Okay?" he says sarcastically. "Is that all you would like to say?"

"I said okay," I blink hard a few times and cross my arms.

I watch from the corner of my eyes as he stands up and walks towards me as he buttons his jacket. When he gets close enough, he kneels in front of me and grabs my arm.

"I could make this easier on you," he says as he searches for a vein on my arm. "I could play with your mind rather easily. I am very good at it," he says, giving me a smile. "Would you prefer it if our brief encounters were sweeter... or that you went away think that they were? Would you prefer I insult your intelligence that way?" he asks as he brings his hand up to brush some hair away from my face. "Like in your dream," he says in a deeper voice as his cold hand lingers on my cheek. "I could make you feel like you love me."

"No..." I say seriously, wanting to push him, but knowing better. "I would prefer not."

"Really?" he says. I try to slink away in disgust with out being overly obvious about it. "I have many talents, Ginevra. In all areas. You admired me once. I could convince you to again."

"No," I say. "No," I whisper. "No," I say over and over again because I can't seem to get anything else out. "No..." I whisper one last time when he grabs my hand and squeezes it.

"No matter," he says as he pulls back and sticks a needle in my arm.

I gasp in surprise at the minor pain and look away, trying not to melt into the couch because he touched me so intimidatingly. Where did the needle come from anyways?

"I am quite skilled at mind games."

I shake my head and look out the window.

"Perhaps you're right," he sighs as he pulls the needle out and I watch him use his magic to secure it and put it in a desk drawer. "Your mind is a mess. Memories are trying to surface that have been confounded for years. It's quite a train wreck in there."

"What do you mean?" I whisper softly and he smiles at me.

"The headaches," he says as he looks at me with crimson eyes. "The vivid dreams, the off feeling. Those are all symptoms of confounded charms trying to break," he says and I give him a suspicious look. "I would like to point out again how odd it was that when you turned fourteen, you stopped seeing a doctor and suddenly you were all better. A terrible secret for your parents to hide from you, wouldn't you say?"

I shake my head because that can't be right. I remembered things from the chamber. Not everything, granted, but I doubt my parents would do that to me.

"They probably wanted you to forget how close we used to be," he says.

He runs his hand down my arm until it's resting over the bracelet Draco gave me. He furrows his brows and then he bends down and actually sniffs it.

"This has magic on it," he says as he taps it.

I don't say anything.

"This is very old," he muses as he holds my wrist up so he can get a closer look. "And very powerful. Where did you get it?"

"It's a family heirloom," I whisper, and it's true... it just wasn't my family... well, in a way Draco actually was my family now. We were bonded, after all.

"From a family who doesn't trust you very much, I must say," he says as he sniffs it again. I cringe away only to have him yank me forward. "So many spells on this."

"What spells?" I question because I honestly don't know and his crimson eyes flick to mine as I think about Draco giving it to me.

As quickly as it started, he pulled his hand back and sat beside me on the couch, with his arm along the back by my shoulders.

He snapped his fingers and suddenly a house-elf was before us, holding a large stack of papers and a red feathered quill.

"I hope you didn't think I'd forget about this," he says as he waves his hand and the pages turn until they reach the last piece of paper at the end. "Sign it," he says as he hands me the red quill.

"What is-"

"Sign it," he cuts me off as he grabs my hand and pulls it towards the page. "The original copy suspiciously went missing from Mr. Rookwood's office," he says thoughtfully as my fingers shake. I know what it is now and I look at it worriedly. "Funny how things like that happen around you," he muses. "Now sign it."

"There's no ink," I point out and he squeezes my hand.

"Sign."

I don't know what else to do. Not when the Dark Lord is right there, telling me to do something with my family hanging heavily over my head.

I sign my name in stiff letters with the invisible ink.

Then I cringe in pain when a slit across my wrist appears and starts to bleed... I look at the paper as I drop the quill, there's my name in blood red ink, slowly appearing on the page as the wound heals itself.

"Good," is all he says as he flicks his hand.

The contract slams shut and the elf disappears with it.

I feel like I just signed over my whole life.

I start breathing a little bit heavier.

"It is a horrid day outside," he says and I inhale deeply, ignoring the quick change of conversation. It's raining. It's always raining. He crosses his leg at the knee and leans back against the cushions, getting comfortable. "Ginevra," he says as he taps his long fingers against my shoulder and when I look at his profile, he nods to the window. "Close the curtains."

That's a weird demand. I go to get up, but he claws his hand around my shoulder and holds me in place. "But..." I was going to explain that I need to get up to do as he wants, but he shakes his head.

"You're a witch," he says as he nods to the window again. "Use magic."

"I don't," I trail off as I try my pockets. "I don't have my wand."

"Close the curtains," he repeats flatly, like he didn't hear me.

"I don't have my wand," I repeat again, feeling my skin crawl because he's touching me and sitting so close in a way that makes it look like we'retogether.

"Use your magic," he says sternly as he squeezes my shoulder.

"I... I can't," I say seriously.

Only a very disciplined and very studied wizard or witch can do wandless magic and only then very minimal at the most.

"You lie," he says as he looks at me.

I can feel his red eyes dancing along my features and I shrink away from it.

"You didn't even try," he points out and I look down. "Try," he demands and I inhale a deep breath, just wanting to burn his hand off my shoulder.

I hear him click his tongue and then he squeezes his hand again, letting me know that he heard that.

"Now," he says sharply, leaving no room for argument.

I look at the curtains. They're just regular curtains and I stare at them for a few serious moments before sayings the spell. "Aperio," I whisper as I think of the curtains and Tom flicks my shoulder.

"Wrong spell," he snaps. "You're closing a curtain, not opening a jar. Do it again."

I lick my lips as I try to remember my studies and what spell I would actually use to close something as loose as a curtain. I lick my lips some more as I sort through my mental catalog of spells, trying to find something so mundane that I thought I would never actually use.

"You should use all magic," he says seriously, plucking the thought out of my mind. "There's so much to discover in our world. You shouldn't leave any rock unturned, even the mundane ones," he says flatly and I lick my lips again. I keep licking my lips. They burn. "You know it," he says as he spares me a little glance. "About three thoughts back."

I try to remember what it was, but I get distracted because he starts to pet my neck with his finger tips. It almost tickles, but this situation is too serious to giggle, so I try to suppress the shiver as it tingles my skin.

"That one," he says as he taps my neck. I backtrack, trying to find out what he was talking about. "Here," he says as he lifts his free left hand and I watch his fingers as he holds them in front of me.

"Watch," he says flatly.

"Propinius" he says as he flicks his fingers like he was getting rid of a fly and I look over at the curtains on the left window as they gracefully close. "See," he says with a smug smile, his lips right by my ear. "It's easy. Now, you do it."

I exhale slowly again. "Propinius," I whisper.

Nothing happens.

"Not trying hard enough," he says as his fingers go back to petting my neck. "Do it again."

"Propinius."

"That was worse," he says seriously as he tugs on my hair. I cringe as my head moves with the jerk, but I don't make a noise. "I didn't even feel a spark of your magic. Do it again and with feeling."

I pause a second and try to concentrate on the damn curtains so I can go back to school. "Propinius."

"Again," he snaps after nothing happens.

"Propinius," I repeat and he curls his lip back.

"Do it again."

"Stop touching me," I hiss at him in a whisper because it's hard to focus with him touching me like he is.

"Get used to it," he bites out, putting his arm back along my shoulders. He pushes my shirt to the side and starts to fiddle with my bra strap. That doesn't help! "Do it again."

I try to shake off the feeling of him touching me so intimately, but it doesn't help.

"Propinius."

Nothing happens.

"Again."

Nothing happens.

"Again."

Nothing happens.

"Again," he keeps saying after each failed attempt and I start to feel very frustrated.

I even hold out my hand try to recreate how my wand would move with the words but nothing happens.

"Do it again," he hisses and I lick my lips one more time.

They hurt they're so chapped and I'm sure they're bright red because they keep burning. It just adds to my annoyance.

"Propinius," I say and when nothing happens I ball up my hand and hold it firmly against my leg because I want to hit something. "I can't do it!" I yell before he can scold me and my breath is coming out in short gasps of anger.

"Maybe you need a little more motivation," he says and then he snaps his fingers, finally letting go of my bra.

The door behind us creeks open and I look over my shoulder to see why. Bellatrix Lestrange is standing in the doorway and when she sees how close we're sitting, and the intimate way he has his arm around my shoulders, she raises her brows.

"Bring me a Weasley from Azkaban," he says with a flippant hand wave. "Any one will do."

"What?" I whisper as I stare at him.

Lestrange nods her head and says something about "How great Our Lord is" before disappearing.

"Why are you doing that?" I ask softly, staring at his throat as he faces forward again.

"Motivation, Miss Weasley," he says as he stares at the window with the open curtain. "Is of insurmountable importance."

A moment later, Lestrange comes barreling back into the room, dragging a person who's hidden from view with a black bag over their head. It's a man, obviously, dressed in a dirty gray and black stripped uniform with a blue band strapped along his arm very similar to the pureblooded ones we wear at Hogwarts... only his has a large red 3 printed on it.

Lestrange throws him to his knees in front of us and binds his hands behind his back.

I know who it is.

I know right away just by the build and color of skin. "Charlie," I say as I lunge forward to touch him, but the imprisoning hand on my shoulder holds me back.

"He can't hear you," he says as I watch my brother struggle against his bonds. "He can't see you," he says as me motions to the bag over his head. "Why don't you try to close the curtain again?"

"I can't do it," I whisper with a cry in my throat as I stare at my brother who's so close to me, so close, but unable to touch.

"I thought you'd say that," he says as he stands up and he walks back to his desk. "I will need my wand for this," he says as he picks up his ebony wand he holds it in his right hand. "Packs more of a punch."

"This is stupid. It's just a curtain."

"Then you should be able to close it," he says with a brow raised. "Try again."

I shake my head because now my insides are twisting so badly I feel like I might throw up.

"If you refuse," he says as he points his wand to my brother.

"Wait!" I scream as I start to stand and I hold my hand like I would actually be able to stop his curse with it. "Wait, I'll try again."

He smiles to himself, like he was pleased by my reaction, and he crosses his arms. "Go ahead." he says and once I'm sure his wand isn't pointed at Charlie I turn back to the curtain.

I try to narrow my focus on the curtains and I hold up my hand. "Propnius," I whisper.

Nothing happens.

My brother starts screaming and I look at him as the Dark Lord uses his curse to torture him.

"Stop it!" I yell and I try run over to him, but the Dark Lord holds up his hand, forcing me to stay in place with a wall of magic in my way.

"You disappoint me," he says as he lifts the curse and my brother slumps against the ground with a thump. "Everyone always disappoints me," he adds with a sigh. He lifts his wand again. "I suggest trying again."

"I can't do it," I tell him as I hold onto the fabric of my shirt, balling it up in my sweating fists because I can't do anything else. "It's not fair!"

"Nothing is ever fair," he says as he shoots another curse at my brother who starts flopping around on the carpet like a fish out of water.

"Stop!" I yell again, tears forming in my eyes as I watch my brother get tortured. "Please stop."

"Do as I say and I might," he says and I stomp my foot and look back at the curtain.

I try again and nothing happens.

My brother keeps screaming.

I try again and I could swear that the curtain moved a bit, but they didn't close the whole way.

"How about a little more motivation," he says as he pulls the curse off. "Should I start cutting things off?" he asks as he walks towards my brother. "I know a very clean spell for removals," he says as he kneels beside him. "I've learned a lot over the years."

I try to move the curtain again, but of course it doesn't work because I can't do wandless magic.

The Dark Lord releases my brother's arm from behind his back and when I fail again, he uses his wand and cuts off Charlie's hand.

A scream gets caught in my throat and everything on my body feels completely tight, like I was being suffocated in a plastic bag. Blood starts to pool on the white carpet and I stop moving, I stop breathing, and I stop all thoughts as I stare at it.

"Try again," he says and I can't find my voice. "Try again or I'll keep going. There are a lot of things I could take off."

I'm going to have a panic attack.

"Don't you dare," he says as he stands up and walks towards me. He grabs my face and glares down at me. "Don't you dare start that now. Stop being such a coward and grow up. Reach your full potential."

"I..."

"You know I won't accept that answer," he says as he drops my face and goes back to my brother who's loosing so much blood.

Too much blood.

His hand is laying on the ground by his body and I feel the bile in my throat.

"I will kill him," he says flatly as he kneels back down. "I have no problem doing it."

I go back to the curtain and try to close it as my whole body shakes. He points his wand to my brother's neck and I scream the spell so loud that the walls actually feel like they shook.

"Keep going," he says as I try again, my face a mess of tears and snot and everything terrible.

I try again and when he starts to form the words for another terrible curse, I feel the magic explode through my fingers and the curtains slam shut, before catching on fire.

The flames eat up the fabric quickly before reaching the ceiling.

He laughs and hops over my brother's body to reach me. "Do you feel it?" he says as he takes my hand and puts it on his chest where his heart should be... if he had one. "Do you feel it?" he says urgently to my shocked face.

I do feel it.

My fingertips can feel a pulse through his chest and it sends a shock through my body.

"What is it?" I whisper because it feels like the most electrifying feeling.

"Our magic," he responds.

The way he says our worries me.

"Now," he says with a pleased smile as he watches the flames destroy the room. "That is a way to close a curtain. It appears you can do things, Ginevra," he says as he steps back. "Perhaps love is a greater motivator than I thought."

I bring a hand up to my mouth as the room starts to fill with smoke.

"Bravo," he says with a smile before shooting a curse down at my brother.

His head rolls away from his body and I do scream, breaking away from the curse he put on me to keep me in place and I run to Charlie. His body starts changing. It becomes smaller, and his skin darker, and when I take the black hood off his decapitated head I see someone else entirely.

"I don't understand," I whisper through tears as I stare down at the terrified face of a thin black man.

"Charms and potions wear off after death," he says dismissively as he raises his wand and puts out the fire.

"You... you..." I say as I stumble over my thoughts.

"I... I..." he mocks with a smile. After putting out the fire, he sits back at his desk like nothing happened. "Aren't you glad I didn't kill your brother?" he asks flatly as he goes back to writing on his parchment.

"Who... who is this?" I ask, getting over my shock and feeling terrible for the man that was killed for this little lesson.

"I have no idea," he says with a sigh. "It is a good thing for me to find you important," he says as he glances at me. "You do not want me to think of you as useless," he nods to the dead man in front of me. "You might just end up a stain on my carpet."

I might throw up.

"Do that somewhere else," he says as he waves his hand. He hisses something at his snake and when she comes out from her hiding spot, I scramble back until I hit the couch.

The snake coils around the dead stranger and then I watch as she unhinges her jaw and starts to... I cover my mouth and look away. I can't do this anymore. This is too much. I cradle my knees to my chest to get as small as possible and I cover my ears as I clench my eyes shut to get away from the horror in front of me.

After a while, I feel a hand on my arm, pulling me up.

I snap my eyes open and stare at Bellatrix Lestrange. "I will show you to your room."

"Room?" I say weakly, refusing to look at the snake and her overly full body. "I-I'm staying here?" I whisper in question as she starts dragging me out of the room.

"Ruth Davenport will come to receive you in two days."

"Two days?" I say with a sob in my throat because I want to get as far away as I can get from this place. "C-can't I go back to school?"

"No," The Dark Lord answers from behind us and Bellatrix forces me to face him before we leave the room. "I can hardly send you back there now. Why don't you use your time alone wisely and practice closing that curtain more like a witch and less like a pyromaniac."

I swallow hard and look at the blood stain on the floor.

"Nagini will be keeping an eye on you," he says and I think he knows how much fear I have for her right now. "She has my full authority to punish you again if you chose to curse her or do something you shouldn't. She's a smart snake, my Nagini," he says fondly as he pets her head. I look at the display of affection with disgust and he looks back at me. "And be nicer to her," he says as he picks up his black feathered quill once more. "She's starting to resent you."

Like I care.

"You should care. She's thinking about eating you," he says and I pale as I look at him. "And I would hate to clean up that mess. Do you see, Ginevra, why love is so foolish," he says as he waves to the blood stain on the floor. I don't move and he goes back to his papers. "Take her away now."

Lestrange tugs on my arm and I walk with her like a zombie as we head to our destination. The room she ushers me to looks like an old supply room with overturned chairs and empty boxes. My school trunk and book bag are sitting by an out of place twin sized bed in the corner.

"This isn't a hotel," Lestrange says as she pushes me towards the bed. "You're only here because he says so. You can not leave this room for any other reason but to use the bathroom," she says, her rotten teeth yellow and gross. "It's down the hall and the last door on the right. Do not go anywhere else. You know what will happen," she says, giving me a menacing look to intimidate me.

It works.

I nod my head and walk towards the bed. My wand is laying on the sheets and I pick it up quickly.

I don't even think about leaving, through. I just sit down on the makeshift bed and stare ahead of me. I feel sick. The sun runs across the sky and when nighttime falls Lestrange comes back to bring me food. Just some bread and water and I look at it for a few moments before putting it on the ground, refusing to eat it. She tells me that Nagini will be with me in the morning and I make a face at the thought.

I hate that fucking snake.

She leaves and I stare at the food again after my stomach growls loudly.

I end up giving in and drinking the water and then I open my trunk to make sure everything is there after lighting my wand. All of my things are accounted for and I decide to change into more comfortable clothes... just because... because I want to feel normal. I want to pretend I'm just going to bed like usual. I want to pretend that I didn't see what I saw earlier and pretend that I'm not stuck in a supply room.

I huddle under the scratchy covers and curl into a ball. I can't sleep, of course. I can't do anything but stare at the wall.

I do that for hours before I regret drinking that freaking water.

I have to go to the bathroom.

After a few minutes I really have to go and I clench my teeth together.

I cross my legs and turn on my stomach, trying to clench everything just to make the pain go away. I don't want to leave this room even if it is to use the loo. I can't do it. I don't want to run into anyone I'd rather not and I don't want Nagini to bite me again.

I groan in pain as I start shaking my leg, trying to distract myself from how badly I have to pee.

This feels like torture of the worst kind and I try to think about something else, something to take my mind off the pain of holding it, but I just cant.

I have to go.

I make the decision and I stand up, clenching again and cringing as I feel around in the dark for the light. I turn it on and squint against it before cracking my door open. It's a long corridor and the bathroom is supposed to be at the end on the right, right?

I lick my lips and look around to see if anyone is up, and when I'm convinced the coast is clear, I practically run down the hall and I tentatively open the door. It is a bathroom, thank god, and I lock the door behind me before doing my business. Nothing feels quit as good as going after holding it for so long and I swear I was in there for half an hour before I was finally finished.

I washed my hands quickly and looked at myself in the mirror for a quick moment. I looked pale and terrified and I turned off the light quickly so I wouldn't have to see the reflection I barely recognized.

I go to open the door to let myself out, but when I hear footsteps, I freeze and slide the lock back through. There is no one in this building that I could possibly want to see in the halls. I hear voices as the footsteps get closer and I press my ear to the door to hear it.

"He's been looking for one like this for a while," a female voice says. I can place it, it sounds like Bellatrix Lestrange. "A one legged wizard with a black heart," she says with a laugh and the voices are so close they sound like they're right in front of the door. "The dementors hardly would give it up."

"I could make a wizard have one leg," A male voice growls and Lestrange laughs, it like a cackle.

"They have to be born that way, of course. It's hard to find a deformed wizard that can't grow it back!"

Once the voices and footsteps are far enough away, I crack the door open. They're gone and I stare down down the hall. They mentioned the dementors. The dark lord was saying something about having an understanding with the dementors and the taking of souls.

It makes me think of Neville and all the other students who haunt the halls of Hogwarts with their blank stares.

No, Ginny. Just go to your room, I chastise myself.

I don't need anymore trouble. I don't need anymore rash decisions. I just need to do what I'm told and go on my merry way. I stare for a few moments, before nodding my head and going back to my room.

I can't stop thinking about it.

I turn in the bed and then I start shaking my leg again as I try to think of something else. It's like having to go to the bathroom. It's too painful now after an hour of thinking and fighting with myself, I get up and dig through my trunk to get my school cloak out. My new school cloak that's black with the dark mark stitched along the heart.

This is a bad idea, I tell myself as I throw up the hood and toe into a pair of black slipper boots my mom gave me for Christmas last year. They don't tap or make noises as I walk and I want to be quiet.

You're going to get caught, Ginny. You always get caught. You're not Harry. The world is not on your side.

I grab my wand and put it in the waist band of my sleep pants.

Too much is at stake. Get back in bed!

I pause for a second with my hand on the door knob.

There's still time to go back to bed and forget this stupid idea.

I stand there for a good while as I debate it and then I think of Neville and his dead eyes... The urge to be stupid becomes too much, so I crack the door open again and look out. No one is there, no people, no Nagini, no menacing shadows. I exhale quickly before stepping out and following with quick steps the way I had thought I heard Bellatrix and the man go.

It's a confusing building, full of stops and turns like a maze and I was mentally yelling at myself again when I get lost. Then I hear the voices again outside of one dark door and I hide behind a filing cabinet. It's Bellatrix Lestrange and the gruff man. She's laughing as they leave the room and they start talking about how cold the building is as they leave.

I look at the door after their footsteps carry them away.

This is Harry level luck.

I hesitate a second before drawing my wand and opening the door.

It's look like a library, but instead of books lining all the shelves there are small wooden boxes. I lick my lips and close the door behind me once I'm sure no alarms are going to be set off. I take a tentative step forward and let go of the breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

The first box I open has a brass plate on it.

Wizard: Zack Campbell.

Age: Thirty five

Appearance: Caucasian. Brown Hair. Brown Eyes.

Defining Characteristics: Birthmark on right thigh.

Blood status: Half-blood.

Member of Order of the Phoenix. Threat level 2. Magic level 5/10.

I open up the lid and inside is a small ball the size of a snitch with Zack Campbell's name etched into the metal. In fact, it's gold like a snitch and I pick up and look down at it with a curious tilt of my brows. It looks like a container of some sort and when I start to twist it open, the brightest light starts to emit from the crack. I quickly twist is closed out of fear of what would happen.

I put the ball back and snap the lid of the box shut.

I move to the next box right beside it. Melinda Crabbtree. Anthony Crockette...

They're all in alphabetical order and I start speed walking down the rows until I get to F. Finnegan... Seamus Finnegan. I smile when I see his name and I pop open his box. Inside I find the metal ball and I thank god that his name was kept as I take his ball out and hold in my left hand. I stare at the empty box before lifting my wand.

I simple duplication spell.

Simple magic for a simple purpose. It will wear off after a couple weeks... but the Dark Lord was right. It's always best to know all magic no matter how mundane. I use the charm to make a perfect replica of the metal ball and I continue on, looking for people I know. I seem to know a lot of them and I pull my shirt under to serve as a carrier as I collect the souls of my classmates and replace them with fakes.

When I get to the L's I find Neville's name with a special star buy it. I ignore what that might mean as I take the ball out and place it with the others in my shirt basket.

Remus Lupin.

I pull that one as well and add it with the others.

I feel like I'm at the supermarket. I wish I could take them all, but I can't carry that much and I feel really guilty for it, so I try to get all the names that I know and I promise myself to get the others later. When I get to the N's, I look for Theodore Nott's name, but I don't see it. I don't see it anywhere and I frown a bit as I think of what that would be.

I feel even worse now. Theo was just a teenager, just a boy, and even though he did horrible things to my friend I didn't think he deserved a life like that.

I tried to shake that terrible feeling off as I collected more names. When I got towards the end, I sent a look at the W's.

Arthur Weasley.

William Weasley.

Charles Weasley.

Percival Weasly.

Fredrick Weasley.

George Weasley.

Molly Weasley.

Everyone. Everyone but me and Ron and I start gathering them together with so much haste that I nearly drop everything I'm holding.

He did this terrible thing to my whole family. In a way, I had really lost them. What of my mother? Was she really in a flat in knockturn ally like Draco and the Dark lord had said. Did she get my letter? Could she even read it?

I hear a noise behind me and I quickly gather up all the snitches and put them in my shirt. I hold it all tightly as I scurry out of the room. I don't want to push my luck any more and I make it all the way to my room where I roll all of the balls on my little make shift bed.

I have a whole mound of them and I hide them at the bottom of my trunk. I curl under the covers and stare at the wall until morning comes.

I'm just waiting for someone to bust into my room and demand to know where I put the souls, but no one does and I get dressed slowly as I stare at the trunk. I'm glad to have them, but I actually don't know what I'll do with them now.

Nagini follows soon after and she stays with me most of the day. I get three meals of water and random meats and breads before night falls again. I was planning on going to the soul room to collect more, but Nagini stayed by the door, curled in a ball and watching me with her serpentine eyes that made me uncomfortable.

I hate her.

When morning comes again, I'm already awake and dressed, glaring at the snake as she sleeps.

Someone knocks on the door and I jump.

"Yes?"I whisper and an older man opens the door.

"Ruth Davenport is here to receive you," he says. "I'm to help you with your things," he says as he walks into the room and goes to pick up my trunk.

"No," I snap quickly and he looks at me with a tilt of his head. "I can do it," I tell him as I take out my wand. "I'm a witch," I say and he nods before stepping aside.

I magically lift my things and I give the stranger a sideways look as I follow him out of the room after double checking to make sure I have everything. Waiting in the main hallway of the big and metal building is Ruth Davenport and her son who's giving me the once over as his mother chit chats with a tall guy who's standing guard by the door. I let my trunk carefully lower to the ground when she notices me.

"Ginevra," she says with her eyes brightening like we were old friends. She walks over to me and embraces me. I feel awkward about it and I try not to show it as she kisses my cheek. She's towering over me, wearing sky high nude heels that look painful. "How good to see you," she says when she pulls back. "How are you?" she asks as she looks over my shoulders like she was waiting to see someone.

"I'm fine," I say flatly as I try to avoid Blaise and his infuriating smirk.

"I had no idea I would be picking you up here," she says loudly with another smile as she looks around. "Our Great Lord does most of his business in this office. What luck you have to see it up close," she says and I look at her. She's wearing a beige skin tight dress with a cowl neck line that scoops down so low I can see her cleavage and she has large diamonds weighing down her ears.

"I don't think he's here," I tell her flatly because I think I know why she looks so eager.

"Yes," she says, smiling at me with a fake grin. "Of course. Let's show you to our home. Blaise, be a dear and get Ginevra's things, will you."

"No," I say as he lifts his wand. "I can do it."

"I'm a gentlemen, Ginevra," he says, rolling my name off his tongue in a way that makes me narrow my eyes. "And a gentlemen never lets a girl magic her own bag," he says as he lifts his wand.

I look at the trunk as it floats by me. "Of course, you're right, Blaise," Ruth says as she puts her hand on my arm. "Let's Apparate."

"Don't you dare drop that," I whisper when I pass Zabini and he gives me an amused look as we walk outside.

"I forgot how pleasant you were," he smiles at me and I sneer before watching my trunk with it's important contents float beside us.

"I'm so pleased you'll be joining us for winter break," Ruth says when we reach the App zone. "I have so many lessons planned for you. I'm sure you will enjoy them all," she says and I nod my head.

"I'm sure," I mutter as we come to a stop.

I look back at the large building we just left. It's a tall metal thing that's full of windows that shine against the sun like mirrors.

I look back to Ruth Davenport as she starts rolling up the bottom of her dress and I raise my brows sky high when her leg is exposed to the crisp air.

"What..." I trail off when I see her wand strapped to a guarder belt on her well shaped thigh and I look away quickly, back at the building where I see the guards gathered at one of the windows, watching the display. "Jesus," I whisper to myself as I look away from the gawkers.

This is so awkward.

"Ready?" she asks as she lifts her wand and puts her dress back down in it's proper place.

I can practically feel the disappointment from the men in the building.

"Blaise, bring Ginevra's trunk," she says before taking my arm.

We pop in front of a large and beautiful house and she starts down the walkway as Blaise pops behind me.

I wait to walk with him and my important trunk.

"One thing you'll learn rather quickly," Blaise says by my side as we start following his mother towards the house with my trunk close by. "My mother doesn't exist unless people are looking at her."

I frown at that and then I look back at the house where Ruth Davenport is strutting towards the front door.

I can barely find myself to care as the souls hidden in my trunk weigh heavily on my mind.

Before we walk through the door, a guy walks past the right side of the yard with his shirt off, wearing a pair of board shorts. It's freezing outside and I raise my eyebrows at him as he walks into a brick building by the house. When I look to Blaise for an explanation, he smirks.

"Indoor pool," he explains.

"Who was that?" I whisper and he smiles.

"That's Chuck. My mother pays him to do things around the house." he says in a voice that tells me that Chuck doesn't really do much for that money. "She likes them young," he says with a brow raised as he opens the door for me. "Ask your boyfriend."

What did that mean? I didn't get to ask because at that moment, Ruth realized we weren't right behind her and she called to us.

Ask your boyfriend? That didn't seem suspicious at all.
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Envy and Manipulations