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To Protect	By : VSBree Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 30534 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and characters. All rights are reserved to J.K. Rowling. This is a story of fiction, and I am making no profit from it.

Chapter List
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AN: This chapter was hard to write...and I still get emotional. This chapter hits close to my heart since I had a very similar experience between my sister and I. So much of this chapter was a collection of what I dealt with.
My work is unbeta'd so please forgive some of the errors.
Warning: Minor character death and possible triggers in this chapter. Read with caution.
To Protect
Chapter Sixteen
The devastation had taken its toll on Harry; he was barely able to hold down food or water, and Severus was becoming more concerned by the day. Kingsley had reported that they were working around the clock and a team was put together at the moment. They planned to make their move tonight, but Kingsley was cryptic with his messages which worried Severus greatly. The things he had seen in Kingsley's mind that day crept into his very soul. The note was much more thorough of a threat than Harry had been told. The note demanded a child for a child; Harry in place of Hermione. It promised if he was not delivered by sunrise on the seventh day to a location just outside London, Hermione would suffer torture of an explicit nature in which would begin first with the removal of her child. The very thought made his stomach churn violently.
His Harry was sallow beneath the several blankets he wore. Severus had done what he could to make the boy eat, but Harry was rejecting food and water at a mental level. He feared for his lover – for his child. If Kingsley was unable to find Hermione, he was sure that Harry would never recover from the guilt that was shortly to follow. Severus was not oblivious to what Black's death had done to his emerald-eyed lover. He did not fathom what the death of not only a dear friend but their unborn child would do to Harry.
Severus lifted the small, lax boy into his arms doing his best to coaxed the dry lips open to force a supplement potion down. Harry immediately began to vomit the contents only moments after swallowing. Severus cursed as he vanished the filth away. At this rate, he would need Madam Pomfrey. After he settled the catatonic wizard back beneath the covers, Severus immediately sent an owl to the medi-witch. He hoped that she could come immediately since he worried after three days of lack of food and water, not to mention vital potions, that Harry would continue to spiral out of control. It was only an hour later when she sent him an owl. He broke the Floo network hold and found out their current location in order to get her there right away.
When she stepped through, her face was drawn down. “Where is he?”
“In the bedroom.”
“Show me,” she said as he escorted her towards the room. She ran a diagnostic before she was turning towards Severus. “What caused this state?”
“Unfortunate news of someone close to him.” Severus said vaguely. She would understand with those details. She nodded before pulling out a few things in her pocket and getting to work. Harry lay there with his eyes on the ceiling, unseeing of anything around him. When she finished, she ushered Severus from the room so they could speak in private.
“He is in very bad shape, Severus,” she said in a hushed tone. “I fear for the child. His body has gone into distress. We need to transfer him to St. Mungo's.”
“It is not possible,” Severus was finally able to manage as he looked towards the room.
“It is vital,” she said quickly. “Any longer and the child will go into distress and you risk early labor. I do not know the situation, but if we wait any longer, it could be quite dire.”
“How long?”
“Two days,” she replied firmly. “Any longer and you will lose the child.”
Severus cursed before nodding his assertion. “There is an organization that is seeking his assassination. Currently, they have taken Hermione Weasley hostage as she is in her final trimester with child. It will be a great risk to have him in public.”
The medi-witch thought for a moment before giving the man a look, “A good friend works there, and I do know of a very safe room that is often used for those of great importance that are in need of being hidden from the public eye. Let me contact her and we will arrange the room.”
“Thank you,” Severus said as he very nearly hugged the woman.
“No need to thank me,” she said with a wave her hand. “I will contact you soon.” She stepped through the flames, and Severus was once more left to his thoughts.
o-o-o
The fire call had come while Severus was tending to Harry. He rushed from the room expecting to see Poppy, but instead, the head of the minister came into view. His eyes went wide as the minister stepped through the floo into the room.
“We need to speak,” the man said as he motioned for Severus to sit. Severus took a seat as the minister rested a gaze on him. “We have found Misses Hermione Weasley; she is currently at St. Mungo's as she was tortured and in early labor upon our arrival. There is a matter in which...” Kingsley broke off before continuing with a deep sigh, “that will come as quite a shock to you.”
Severus was tempted to read the man's thoughts but decided it was best if he waited for the minister to speak them.
“We were able to arrest Viktor Knocktool and...” Kingsley took a seat beside Severus, “Draconis Malfoy.”
Severus was blind-sided by the name. He looked at them man with all composure though his thoughts were swirling madly inside his head. What would Draco be doing with Knocktool? It was baffling to the point that Severus completely missed the question the minister posed.
“Pardon,” he asked as he pulled away from his thoughts.
“Did you have any knowledge or any inclination that Mister Malfoy was involved?”
“None, Minister,” he said rather absently. “There was no evidence for my having to suspect him.”
“I see,” the man said as he nodded gravely. “Where is Mister Potter?” Severus found himself at a loss for words and Kingsley quickly caught onto the sudden change in his attitude. “As we have reason to believe that Mister Malfoy headed the organization, it would be safe to assume that you are once more in the clear. Might I inquire to the boy's condition?”
“He appears to be in a somewhat catatonic state,” Severus finally managed. “I had mind to take him to St. Mungo's.”
“Go now,” the minister ordered. Severus needed no further prompting as he rushed to his lover's side to immediately took them to the hospital. He was eager to check Hermione's condition as well as gather as any details on his godson's involvement. He felt like there had to be some explanation for his godson's connection: Was Draco threatened himself? Was he somehow forced into workings with said group? None of it made sense.
o-o-o
Harry was whisked away by several medi-witch and wizards. Severus barely had time to collect himself before they were put into a room, charmed for their protection, as the many individuals worked on Harry. The boy barely responded to the prodding, but when everything settled, Severus was led out of the room to speak with the head witch. The old woman had a gentle smile as she reassured Severus – not that he needed comfort. Although, he barely noticed the trembling in his hands as she gave him a small reassuring pat.
“You were right to bring him here,” she said finally. “If you had waited much longer, I am not sure we could have recovered his condition. However, he seems to be out of danger. The child is doing exceedingly well considering. I would say a few days rest and around-the-clock diagnostics, he should be discharged by the end of the week.”
Severus nodded his assertion as he inquired after Hermione Weasley. The medi-witch's smile became grave.
“Are you family?”
“In a sense,” Severus replied honestly. “It was the reason for Harry's state. I would like to bring good news as soon as he wakes. Her kidnapping was a heavy burden on him.”
The medi-witch, Dredra Noon as she referred to herself, gave him a small nod before taking him to the room Hermione was staying. It was the intensive unit as Severus had at one time been housed there himself.
“Her situation is not as clean-cut,” the witch said as they stood just beyond the room. “She was tortured for several days and was already well into labor when we received her. I am afraid that she lost the child.”
Severus felt the weight of this statement flow over him like ice water. He was only drawn from the intense feeling by the witch continuing her assessment.
“She lost a great deal of blood, and while she recovers, she has been put into a magically induced coma. I am afraid she does not quite know of the loss.”
Oh dear Merlin...Severus could not bear looking at the woman as he returned back to his lover's side. What could he possibly say to Harry after learning such tragic information. Severus was beyond infuriated. Who could be so heartless? Oh yes, the Dark Lord had been many times just as heartless. To learn of Draco's involvement in such things...well, Severus was not sure what to think. Could his godson be involved in such a horrendous situation as this?
o-o-o
When Harry began to wake, his entire body felt heavy and his throat arid as a desert. He blinked his blurry eyes over and over trying to attain his vision before a dark shadow was looming.
“Drink,” the silky baritone said as water spilled over his dry, chapped lips. He drank greedily of the refreshing drink before coughing and sputtering as he nearly inhaled the liquid. He was helped into a sitting position, his back patted as the coughing fit ran its course, and then his hair slowly weaved through. Finally, his sight returned and he gazed at his older lover who was surprisingly emotional. Severus's eyes were glossy much as if he had been crying. It was a startling sight for Harry.
“What happened?” he asked as he reached for his lover's face.
“It is good to see you awake,” the man said as he pressed a chaste kiss to Harry's palm. “You have been asleep for an entire week.”
Harry took a look about before the sudden memory hit him. “Oh gods...Hermione,” he breathed. His lover's face became stoic and nearly lost all emotion. Oh gods...she was dead. Harry felt the tears burning his eyes as he asked the question he very nearly knew would kill him. “Is she...”
“She is recovering,” Severus responded immediately.
“Oh thank heavens!” Harry burst out as he wrapped his arms around the man. Oh Merlin, thank the gods she was okay! Harry was held by the shoulders and forced to part from the embrace. The man's eyes danced over his face with expression he could not quite place. “Wh-what's wrong?”
“I do not think I should reveal this in your current state,” Severus admitted hesitantly. “However, I know it is imperative you hear it from someone you trust.”
Oh gods...oh gods... “What is it Severus?”
“She was tortured for several days,” Severus began and continued despite Harry's gasp, “and though they were able to save her...they were not able to save the child.”
“What...” Harry asked breathlessly. He felt numb as he stared at the face of his lover. “I...I need to see her.”
“She woke yesterday,” Severus continued mechanically, “but has not allowed visitors. She has asked that you and I remain away.”
It felt as if a train had hit him square into his chest; Harry was robbed of the air in his lungs and any ability to recover movement of his limbs. He sat there, lax and helpless as he did his best to swallow all the information. He was horrid; what he caused was horrid. Before he could go too deeply into his thoughts, Severus was pulling him once more into an embrace.
“Do not dare,” the man hissed as he pressed a small kiss to the mess of tresses. “Do not dare begin to blame yourself, Harry. This was well out of your or my control. However, if anyone should claim any responsibility, it should be me.”
Harry jerked away to stare at the man flabbergasted. “What? Why?” He momentarily forgot his depression as he pried at his lover.
“They discovered Draco with Viktor Knocktool when they recovered Misses Hermione Weasley.”
“Then...”
“It is their belief he is, in fact, the leader of the organization.”
“How...”
Severus shook his head, “I do not know myself, Harry. I am just as bewildered by such information. It would, however, explain a few things.”
“Oh Merlin,” Harry groaned as the tears began once more. The child within fluttered violently. He gasped as he touched the small bump. “The baby...”
“Is in perfect health,” Severus said as he covered Harry's hand with his own. “I worried greatly but it would seem we were able to keep the two of you out of danger. I...” Severus's voice broke, “I cannot imagine what I might have done if I were to lose either of you...”
The reality of what his dearest friend had just lost and as a result of Harry was devastating. He could not imagine it; however, he understood her refusal of seeing him. Drawing in a violent breath, he allowed himself to mourn for his friend...for the child she had lost.
o-o-o
Having taken leave once more, Severus and Harry returned to Snape manor. Many of the Weasleys had been by, save for Ron and Hermione, to visit Harry. Harry felt empty as he rubbed gentle circles over the small boy inside. The activity had grown stronger with each passing day but it felt wrong somehow. Harry felt as if he did not deserve to be happy when his friend had lost so much.
He had gathered his courage, sending a note to Hermione and Ron, unable to truly express his apology. Nothing was returned – not that he had expected as much. A month passed, and Harry was barely able to find the motivation to do anything in relation to the child.
Finally, Severus broke through his daze angrily demanding, “You need to cease this.”
“Cease what?”
“This guilt you feel,” Severus said as he pulled Harry towards him. “I cannot fathom what it must do to you, but you are taking too much responsibility for what transpired.”
“I...” Harry felt the burning sensation of tears and quickly wiped them away, “If I was stronger...or...”
“Nonsense,” his lover berated as he forced Harry's gaze on his own, “If a team of highly trained aurors were unable to discover the leadership...” Severus's face grew stern, “my own kin could fool someone with the particular skills I harbor...”
“Sev,” Harry breathed but the man silenced him.
“The blame lies with those who committed such a travesty, Harry. You cannot continue to allow yourself to feel as though you took any part. You have been nothing but kind and courageous to the world. Why must you take so much upon your shoulders?”
“I don't deserve it,” Harry responded in a defeated tone. “I don't deserve to be happy. I only cause those around me pain.”
“You do not,” the dark-haired wizard stated firmly. “I have never been so happy in my life. You have given me undeniable happiness, Harry. I was undeserving, but you gave it freely and with little hesitation.”
Harry bent forward placing his forehead to the man's broad shoulder and wept. The words had struck him deeply; it would seem that this man knew the greatest depths of what it was to lose in both a friendship and relation. He was wrapped up tightly into an embrace much like he had been a great deal in the time he had been with Severus. These arms that held him were so warm, so very loving.
Severus had not gone to see his nephew since his imprisonment in Azkaban; Harry could certainly understand why. Guilt perhaps? Betrayal. Every one of these emotions was sure to be wracking havoc on his person. Harry, when not wrought in his own guilt, would often console his lover but to little avail. Severus, like himself, felt responsible in a way. Their relationship had suffered somewhat since the turn of events and they merely embraced with light touches of lips but very few nights lost to passion.
When Harry came to his eighth month of pregnancy, he was unable to think of anything other than how huge he was, and what a great deal of pain it was. It was on the morning of his second week of the eighth month when he wobbled precariously into the sitting room that Severus was immediately in front of him holding a parchment wrapped in a singular golden ribbon.
“What?”
“Open it,” the man instructed. With very little effort he unrolled the parchment.
Dearest Harry,
I cannot say to what you might have felt these long months with no contact from me, but let me first say that I have missed you greatly. I was consumed with my sadness and anger for what transpired but none of it harbored any relation to you. You, my greatest friend, my soul mate in friendship, were the only thing that I truly regretted that this time apart has affected. I would like to speak with you, if possible soon, and see if there might be any way to mend this bond broken between us. I am so very sorry Harry. I want you to know that there has not been a day that has gone by that I have not thought of you.
I love you. I hope to hear from you soon.
Love,
Hermione
By the end of the letter, Harry was weeping and barely able to make out what was transcribed. He jolted to his desk and immediately wrote out a reply agreeing to see his dearest friend. When he turned towards the older man who stood waiting at the other side of the room, he mustered his most glamorous smile. It was then that his older lover allowed one of his own.
o-o-o
Hermione was sitting beside Ron on a sofa as soon as they entered the Floo. She was standing, her eyes red and puffy, and hesitated as Harry stalled in his step towards her. What could he say...what could he do to apologize. They stared for long moments before it was a rush of arms and bodies. She held him, though awkwardly because he was round with child, but it did not matter as they cried together.
“Oh Harry,” she whispered as she finally pulled away to run a loving hand over the great roundness of his belly. “You look so magnificent...and handsome.” Harry shook his head sure that he had spent years worth of crying and could no longer produce tears. “I have missed you.”
“I miss you too 'Mione.”
“Hello mate,” Ron said as he stood and gazed towards Harry. “Its good to see you.”
Harry bit his lower lip, stifling a cry before nodding his head. “Yeah, it is good to see you as well.”
The three of them embraced for what felt like hours before they sat together for the first time in months. Hermione was back to her small figure and that reality hit Harry harder than he thought it would. Turning his eyes downward, he allowed himself a moment before addressing her.
“I have thought through every possible thing I might say,” Harry started his voice hoarse, “but none of it seems to express how truly sorry I am...that I did this to you.”
“Oh Harry,” she said firmly taking his chin and forcing his eyes towards her, “this was never anything you did. I will not lie and say that I was not angry at the world...but I never blamed you.”
“You should,” he rasped. “It was because of me...”
“Oh hush,” she chided. “It was those evil men who did this – who took my Hope away. But Harry,” she said with a soft smile, “you are unbelievably kind and honorable. You are loyal and trusting. I could never feel any animosity towards you. I just needed time.”
Severus had taken a seat as the three spoke. Finally, Harry breathed through his guilt and gave his friend a smile. “I really missed you. I am so sorry for your loss.”
“We will always miss Hope,” she said with a soft breath. “There has not been a day that I have not missed her,” silent tears ran from her eyes, “and she was our very first baby girl.” The silence streched as Harry looked over to his best mate who was now red faced and crying as well. “But we have been fortunate,” Hermione finally said. “We have another little joy growing.”
Harry's eyes widened dramatically as Hermione smiled faintly. “You mean...”
“Yes,” she said nodding. “It was unexpected, and I was not sure how to feel at first. But yes Harry, we're pregnant.”
The joy, the pain, the mixture of emotion that overcame him was overwhelming. The sadness he felt for Hope's passing but the great happiness he felt in the new addition was quite a magnitude of conflict within Harry. In light of this news, they ate together and celebrated the new life. They spoke in detail of the months passed and finally, it felt like Harry had a small weight lifted. The sadness was there, but it felt like maybe one day, it would be replaced by only a soft, tender memory.
o-o-o
When they returned home, Harry had never felt so exhausted – both mentally and physically. He was swaying as he stumbled through the Floo. Severus was immediately picking him up into his arms and carrying Harry towards their bedroom. Harry wanted nothing more than to sleep and instantly took solace in his older lover's arms. The child kicked violently, and Harry cursed with a hiss.
“What is wrong?” Severus immediately stalled in his steps. “Are you hurting somewhere?”
“No,” Harry groaned as he rubbed his injury. “Just the little brat kicking again.”
“Little brat?” the taller wizard smirked as he resumed walking.
“Yes.”
“Then he must be much more like you than I imagined,” Severus snarked.
Harry sent his lover a halfhearted scowl before once more relaxing into the hold. Severus set him down upon the bed and tucked Harry beneath the covers – as he often did. Harry would have never known the man to be as affectionate, as caring, as he was but he had learned a great deal about Severus Snape over the past two years.
Harry turned towards the dark-haired wizard and despite his exhaustion he said, “I want you to hold me.”
Severus had pulled out a novel and had silently began to read. He looked over the brim of his novel with a slightly befuddled gaze. “Pardon?”
“I want to make love, Sev. I need it....I need you.” Harry skimmed his fingers over the softness of the man's arm before looking upwards into his lover's eyes. “Please...” he whispered desperately. Something danced in darken orbs before he was yanked with sheer strength and smashed against the man's form. He cried out but it was immediately swallowed into a hot, dominating mouth. A hot tongue collided with his own, coaxing moans and mewls of delight from him. Harry found himself desperately clinging to the man, straddling the fabric clad thighs while he hungrily sought the man's mouth and nearly anything within reach.
He was stripped of his shirt, the fabric being tossed away from him, before hands were seeking out his overly sensitized nipples. Throwing his head backward, he moaned with pleasure as a hot mouth attached to one and the other was teased by fingers. The torturous assault continued as his trouser zip was yanked open and his already hardened length teased. He wanted Severus so badly that he found his his moans turning quickly to frustrated groans.

“In me,” he demanded with a hiss. “I need you in me.”
Severus would have usually taunted his overzealous lover but after the events of the day, he refrained and instead indulged his emerald-eyed minx in every command. They were stripped down completely with an impatient wave of the potion master's wand. Severus wasted no time lubricating himself and positioning Harry so that he could thrust up into the heat he so missed. The first thrust nearly robbed him of his orgasm; Severus had to stall within his hot lover to keep his climax at bay. Harry felt incredible and the moans he elicited drove Severus mad with need to pummel the pliant body above.
After a considerable amount of time staving off the orgasm, and a few low needy moans, Severus withdrew only to slam once more into the heat. His pregnant lover cried out – with relief or pleasure, he was not sure. However, he did not wait long before he abandoned his pace and thrust with wild abandon into his vocal lover.
They did not have to wait long before both ejaculated and collapsed into a heap of sweaty flesh and limbs. Severus groaned as he adjusted his young lover to lie beside him. It was a great effort as Harry was nearly dead weight and unable to move on his own.
“Gods I needed that,” Harry groaned with a sideways grin. Severus chuckled lightly.
“It showed,” Severus remarked rather breathless himself.
Harry inhaled deeply before admitting, “I was worried...you know...that Hermione would never forgive me.”
“You have nothing to be forgiven for,” Severus argued.
Harry's hand stroked the large expanse of his stomach tenderly, “Yes, but it felt miserable knowing that while my child lived hers did not.”
“No one would wish for another to suffer in their place,” Severus reasoned. “If it were reversed, you would never wish for that upon her.”
“No,” Harry agreed softly. “She is so very strong...”
“So are you Harry.”
o-o-o
Poppy smiled as she checked the diagnostics of the child. “You are in early labor it would seem. I shall be only a fire call away. Should you start to have contractions, contact me immediately.” She left through the Floo with a polite goodbye to Severus.
“Did you hear that?”
“Indeed,” Severus said smiling. The man was smiling more these days, and Harry was happy for it.
Harry smirked, “I'm finally going to get this brat out of me.”
“That brat,” Severus said as he pressed a soft kiss to Harry's forehead, “Is our son Noah.”

TBC...
Okay, so I want to reiterate that this was a hard chapter to write. I lost my nephew shortly after my sister had him. She and I were pregnant together and I had my daughter right after she had her son. I want to say to those with such a loss that there is always memories and happiness ahead. By the way, Noah was chosen as a meaning of “survivor” in the biblical sense.
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