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Lunaticus Book Three: New Moon Rising	By : JBankai89 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Remus Views: 12595 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I gain nothing from this but a way to pass the time.

Chapter List
- 15
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A/N: Hi guys, thanks again for the lovely comments on the previous chapter! ^.^ Next update will be August 11^th. This is a little shorter than I'd intended, so apologies in advance!
Chapter Sixteen – Fresh Air

Three months had passed, and Jade's cubs were now old enough that they did not need constant protection. Greyback shunted Harry back into his role as professor to the pups, all of whom were thrilled that he was back to teaching them. Thankfully, in his time away from the post his pupils had continued their studies, and now they were far enough along with their reading and writing abilities that they could finally move on to learning actual magic.

Harry wove through his students one fine, bright Friday afternoon, and paused occasionally to put out fires with his wand from the kids who seemed to be channelling Seamus Finnegan. At the same time, he reflected on what had happened immediately following Remus's abrupt departure some months before, and not for the first time, he felt a flare of guilt settle in the pit of his stomach at the memory of it.

“He left this?” Ulrich asked as he looked from the letter to Harry and back again. It had been a week since Remus had left, and the couple had retired to their cabin early that night. Now basking in the afterglow of some very satisfying sex, Harry had nervously handed over the letter detailing Remus's heartfelt farewell.

“Er, yeah,” Harry replied awkwardly, and looked away from the dominant. “Are you upset?”

“Why would I be upset?”

Harry whirled around, his eyes wide with surprise. Ulrich was smiling softly at him, and he set aside the parchment before he drew Harry closer to kiss him lightly.

“I'm glad that you told me, Harry,” he said softly, “I don't like the the idea of secrets between us.”

“I was a little worried you might get upset and...do something,” Harry admitted as he cast his gaze away again, and chewed the inside of his cheek nervously.

“Like what?” Ulrich asked, but as his arms tensed around Harry, he had a feeling that the dominant knew exactly what Harry had been alluding to.

“Something ridiculously testosterone-fuelled, like going after Remus, or...or...” Harry's voice failed him as images of the incident filled his mind. Even after all this time, he hated how it still affected him so deeply.

“I'm not going to lie to you, Harry,” Ulrich said as he reached up to stroke his hair, “I still feel possessive of you. I don't like the scent of other doms on you, or them being too near to you, or any of that, but with Remus out of the territory...I feel less obligated to remind the world—or him—of my claim of you.” He nipped at the shell of Harry's ear, and the sub laughed softly. “That isn't to say that I won't take any opportunity I can to re-stake my claim of you, but...I suppose I feel less nervous with him out of the picture.”

Harry regarded the dominant curiously following his statement. He was so different than the other pigheaded dominants of the pack that he had come to know, and so wildly different from Remus—the mild mannered man himself was much more domineering that he'd ever imagined, which had always been a little confusing to Harry.

“You're too good to me,” Harry said at last as he reached out to stroke Ulrich's cheek. The muscle twitched into a smile under Harry's thumb, and he pulled the dominant in for another kiss.

The memory of it made Harry's gut twist uncomfortably, and in the weeks and months to come, he found that no matter what he did, he still could not stop thinking about Remus.

Harry was desperate to purge the older man from his mind, and as a result, he threw himself into his work and time with Ulrich. However, no matter what he did, Remus's warm, smiling face would always resurface in his mind at the most inopportune moments.

The worst for Harry was when he and Ulrich were intimate.

Despite his best efforts, Harry could not find the same perfect joy that Ulrich seemed to garner from these encounters. It was pleasurable, certainly, and Harry always walked away from it more or less satisfied, but it never felt quite right.

With Remus, the sex had been all-encompassing. Passionate, intense, and ultimately...loving.

With Ulrich, by comparison, it just...wasn't. Where Remus had been domineering, determined to remind Harry to whom he belonged, Ulrich was sweet and tender. Where Remus had been passionate and loving, Ulrich had been gentle.

It was not unpleasant, far from it, but to Harry, it felt far from satisfying. Harry deeply missed that thrill, that dizzying passion that Remus had always brought to such encounters, and he hated himself for thinking such things when he was supposed to be moving past Remus, not pining for him.

“Er, Harry?”

A soft, uncertain voice snapped Harry out of his musings, and he turned to see one of his older students with his hand halfway up.

“Yes, Ethan?” Harry said as he stepped over, and the boy, one of the shier students, seemed to relax.

“Er, I don't really understand this thing, here, how to get the Switching Spell to work?” he said tentatively, as though he half-expected Harry to scold him for not grasping the concept. His nervousness reminded Harry a little of Neville, and Harry offered the pup a small smile as he settled down next to him to explain the concept, and in the process, allowed his mind to drift back to his own school days.

This, unfortunately, led Harry right back to thoughts of Remus.

He was beginning to think that he'd never be rid of his memories of the man. Harry stood up and began to weave through his students again, his mind on autopilot as he went through another explanation of what to practice before they moved on from Transfiguration to Defence, and still, Harry's thoughts were stuck on thoughts of an older man that was not his mate. The guilt was almost overwhelming, and he found that keeping his face blank in front of his students was almost impossible.

~*~

“Harry, you just miss him,” Hermione said at the next moon as they circled the edges of the territory playing catchup, vocalizing exactly what Harry did not want to hear. In the three moons since Remus's departure, he had not returned to the territory once, and this did little more than heighten Harry's longing to see him, despite his desperate desire to purge all memory of the man from his mind.

“But I don't want to miss him,” Harry protested sullenly, “I want...I want...fucking hell, I have no idea what I want.”

Hermione smiled sadly at him, and reached out to squeeze his forearm.

“I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life, because, well, it's your life,” Hermione said in a gentle, consoling tone of voice. “You and Remus are more miserable apart than you ever were together, and I think...I think that you should follow your heart. If that leads you to Ulrich, or to Remus, or to someone else entirely...that's okay. But what I do think you should do is after the moon, come with me to the Burrow for a day or two.”

Harry's gaze snapped up, and he eyed her quizzically.

“Why?” he asked, and Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Harry, you've seen Ginny once since you got out here, and you haven't seen Ron at all. I've been like an owl between you two. I know you're a little bit...er, secluded, up here, but you claimed that you didn't want to lose us. Maybe now would be a good time to come for a visit, get some fresh air...and of course they all know about Ulrich and would love to meet him.”

“So all of this would be an elaborate setup for the Spanish Inquisition, then?” he asked, and Hermione immediately started to giggle.

“Of course not!” she protested, “well...maybe a little,” she amended, and took a moment to compose herself before she continued. “But I do mean it, Harry, I think it would do you good to get out of here for a day or two, if nothing else to get some fresh air, so to speak.”

“And how likely am I to run into...” Harry trailed off, unable to say his name, but Hermione seemed to cotton on straightaway to what he'd been hinting at.

“No chance whatsoever,” she replied at once, and her mouth twitched into a small frown. “He's cut himself off from most of us...he's trying to reintegrate into the wizarding world, and he seems to be doing well, but...he's lonely. He misses you, too.” Hermione paused again, and took a small breath, then barrelled forward. “Harry, I know things went badly last time, but...he misses you, you miss him—you're both miserable apart. There's no bond this time to mess with your heads. What have you got to lose?”

Harry did not immediately answer, but cast his gaze over to Ulrich. So close to the moon everyone was hyperactive and on edge, and he immediately spotted Ulrich with a group of his more advanced Defence pupils, and he was acting for them as some sort of living test dummy. He was jumping and dodging their spells easily, and all of them were laughing gaily, far to giddy by the impending moon to practice seriously. Harry let out a soft, despondent sigh.

“I might lose nothing,” Harry replied as his gaze jumped to the other pack members that he'd grown close with over the past months, “but then...I might lose everything.”

~*~

They passed the moon without any issues, though Harry was a bit more reserved than usual. He stuck close to his mate, and was in fact even more clingy with Ulrich than usual, and no amount of reassurances were enough to calm the little white wolf's mind. The reason for this, which Harry could articulate more clearly once he'd transformed back the following morning, was quite simple—Ulrich was not Remus.

And Harry hated himself for it.

Ulrich seemed to sense that Harry had something on his mind, but he never pushed, and acted as he always had—patient and supportive, while he reminded Harry often how much he cared for him, and how he could tell him anything. Not that this helped any—the last thing Harry wanted to do was say anything that would hurt Ulrich. He'd been so good—too good to him, and he did not deserve that.

As evening drew around them the day after the full moon, Harry gathered up his courage and stepped over to Greyback, who had been sitting near to the central bonfire, a whittling blade and a block of wood in his hands, clearly taking thirty seconds to himself, before he was dragged back into his pack duties as alpha.

“Er, Alpha?” Harry asked, and he looked up. Upon seeing Harry, he frowned a little.

“What is it, Potter?” he asked, and Harry gritted his teeth at the dominant's biting tone.

“I was wondering if it'd be all right if I went with Hermione when she leaves the territory—just for a day or two,” he said, “it's just—I, er, I haven't really seen any of my friends since coming here, and it'd be nice to see them, since you don't let humans in the territory and—and things.”

Harry counted a full forty-five seconds before the alpha finally spoke again.

“You have duties here, so don't be gone for more than two days at most,” he replied gruffly, “will your mate be going with you?”

“We...I haven't talked to him about it yet,” Harry said, and looked away from Greyback to poke at a stone on the ground with the tip of his trainer.

“Talk to your mate first,” Greyback said firmly, “I won't have you disappearing and leaving my beta in a right state because you don't know how to fucking communicate. Clear?”

“Yes, Alpha,” Harry said quickly, “and...thanks.” Greyback grunted, but did not properly respond, and Harry used this as an opportunity to take his leave of him.

Harry wove through the territory and the pack members going about their day while he looked for Ulrich. He felt a niggling sense of unease at Greyback's word choice—mate. This wasn't the first time someone had referred to Ulrich as such, but Harry couldn't quite pinpoint why it bothered him. It wasn't as though it was an incorrect term; Ulrich was his mate.

So why does it bug me so much?

Harry had a sneaking suspicion that he knew exactly why, but he couldn't bring himself to even formulate the thought. He needed to get over Remus, not go running back to him.

He found Ulrich in deep conversation with one of the other dominants, a familiar white-haired, but youthful dominant. He recognized him as the man who had been with Ulrich when he'd found Harry on the day of the attack, and he had later learnt that his name was Silas.

Both Ulrich and Silas glanced up when they saw Harry approaching, and Ulrich's face split into a broad smile. Silas rolled his eyes and wandered off as Ulrich made a beeline for Harry, and he pulled him into a close embrace. He kissed Harry once, then as he pulled back a little, his mouth tugged into a small frown.

“Is everything all right?” he asked, “you look worried.”

“Nothing's wrong,” Harry replied at once, and Ulrich relaxed a little. “It's just that Hermione invited me back to the Burrow to catch up with my friends, and I was a little nervous about how you'd feel about that,” he explained in a rush, and Ulrich's grip on him tightened a little. “You can come if you want,” Harry added quickly, “but I wasn't sure how you'd feel surrounded by a bunch of wizards. They all want to meet you, you know, they're...they're like my family.”

Harry fell silent following his rushed explanation, and he watched Ulrich's eyes dart left and right rapidly as he thought over what Harry had said. While Harry waited, he reached down and squeezed Ulrich's hand. The dominant's gaze dropped to their intertwined fingers, and he squeezed Harry's hand back.

“They really mean a lot to you?” Ulrich asked, his tone uncertain as he looked into Harry's eyes. Immediately, he smiled and nodded.

“They do. They're like the family I never had,” Harry replied, and shivered a little when he felt Ulrich's fingers trail along his arm and up to his shoulder, his expression thoughtful.

“I don't like being around wizards, they make me...I don't trust them,” Ulrich began, his tone soft, and Harry frowned. “But, if you care that much for these ones, maybe they aren't all bad. They won't mind if I come with you?”

Harry's expression brightened, and he got on his toes to kiss Ulrich, who appeared startled by the sudden show of affection, but he was still quick to return the kiss.

“They'll love the chance to get to know you,” Harry whispered, mere millimetres from Ulrich's lips, “I promise.”

~*~

“You doing what, exactly?” Tavish had asked when Harry explained where he was going while he re-packed his rucksack.

“I'm going to visit some friends, that's all,” Harry explained as he crammed another T-shirt into the bag, “just for a day or two. They want to meet Ulrich, and I haven't seen my best mate in ages.” Harry reached for wad of socks, and paused, his brow furrowing in confusion at Tavish's less-than positive reaction. “What?”

“I'm sorry,” Tavish said quickly as he fidgeted in place on his own bed, “it's just...going to see wizards? Are you sure that's a good idea?”

“They're my family, Tavish,” Harry said coldly, and Tavish winced. “Why wouldn't it be a good idea?”

“It's just that...even if they don't mean to...they'll treat you differently,” Tavish explained, while he continued to fidget nervously, “a lot of the turned wolves here tried to keep in contact with their families after the fact, but...it's never the same.”

“They're not like that,” Harry said defensively, and Tavish winced again. “Hermione's been going back and forth for months, and things have been fine. I saw Ron right after I was turned, and Ginny a couple of times, they treated me like they always have.”

“Just...Harry, don't expect too much, all right? And...I know he won't say it, but be careful with Ulrich. Wizards make him very nervous. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that he's terrified of them, so just...keep close to him? Don't leave him on his own with this family of yours, if you can avoid it.”

Harry sat back down on his bed, and regarded Tavish curiously. Wariness around wizards he could understand, but he couldn't picture Ulrich as afraid of anything, and especially not wizards. When Tavish offered up no further explanation, Harry spoke again.

“What about them scares him so much?” Harry asked, and Tavish grimaced. When his friend offered up no response, he tried again, “I mean, I understand being cautious around them, but outright fear...?”

“That's not my story to tell,” Tavish replied stiffly, his mouth pulled into a frown, “you'll have to ask him about that one.”
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Lunaticus Book Three: New Moon Rising