Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

The Reluctant Highlander	By : Tigerrr Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 15152 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
***********************************************************************

On February 14, The War began.

�All the students were
gathered in the Great Hall for breakfast; Hermione had slipped out of Severus�
quarters early to arrange the delivery of her valentine.� Her lover had been slightly disappointed that
she had opted to �catch up on her work� instead of staying in his arms for an
extra hour and she had been sorely tempted�being in love with her Potions
professor was still quite new to her, after all.� But she hoped she�d never get tired of such
wild and imaginative lovemaking.� Looking
up towards the staff tables, she saw him discussing something with her
Arithmancy professor when Dumbledore stood and had Professor McGonagall rap on
the side of her glass for silence.� The
students quieted obediently, and the Headmaster spread his arms in
benediction.� Harry nudged her and
grinned.� �Here he goes, �Mione.�� She had decided that it would be best to get
the rest of the school over the shock of the Head Girl�s engagement to their
Potions Master as soon as possible�Hermione hoped that Severus wouldn�t be too
angry about it, since she hadn�t asked him first.

�As it is St. Valentine�s Day, what could be more
appropriate than the announcement of upcoming nuptials?�� Severus stiffened immediately.� �Yes, our very own Head Girl, Hermione
Granger has consented to wed our Potions Master Severus Snape!�� Here Albus faltered slightly, and grasped the
rims of his spectacles tightly as they looked as if they were trying to come
off of his face�very strange, thought Hermione.�
Severus was glaring around at the waves of gasps and shrieks, his black
gaze settling quite a bit on the Gryffindor table where they bore into his
intended.� The Headmaster continued, �An
unexpected development to be sure, but what an exciting way to kick off this
�Day of Love�, don�t you think? And to add to the atmosphere, there will be
valentine greetings delivered by these fellows,� and he waved his hand to usher
in a line of irritated-looking dwarves dressed in nappies and gold lame wings
with matching halos.�

The outraged whispers concerning Hermione�s engagement to
Snape were completely replaced by titters � outright laughter came from those
old enough to remember the last time the dwarves had been in the castle � and
excitement just as she had hoped.� An
immediate distraction from the startling news would only serve to �soften the
blow,� as it were, and so it was that the notion was accepted and absorbed
rather quickly.� The Slytherins were the
only House that was still agog over the news.�
Another quick look up at Severus showed that his glare was still firmly
in place and directed straight at her.�
�Is that true, Hermione?� Parvati hissed.� �Are you really
marrying Snape? It�s just a joke of Dumbledore�s, right?�

Hermione confirmed that she was indeed very much in love
with the big bat, and she didn�t want to hear anything more about it, though
Neville kept staring at her all throughout breakfast. As soon as the benches
were pushed back and the students made their way into the halls, Harry tugged
her over behind a suit of armor which clanked in protest at being shoved
forward.� �Oh, here he comes�he looks as
if someone slipped him a bogey-flavored Every Flavor Bean, get down!�� They hunkered down and saw Severus stalking
out of the Great Hall with a sour expression on his face, obviously looking for
her �Dumbledore had slipped out a back door of the Hall when he had been
accepting Flitwick�s congratulations and not looking in the Headmaster�s
direction.� �Aaaaand here�s his
valentine! Ssshhh�.�� The amount of
students still milling around was perfect.�
A dwarf hustled up behind the tall Potions Master and tugged on his
teaching robes.

�Valentine fer Severus Snape,� the small man said, hitching
up his nappy and pulling a scroll from a hollow end of one of his gold
arrows.� All students present went
deathly silent; Hermione fancied that even the walls leaned in closer to
hear.�

�You must have me mistaken for someone else.� Go away,� Severus snarled.

�Ain�t you t�bloke who�s gettin� hitched? Cours� you
are�can�t �magine why she�d say no to a fine feller such as yerself,� the dwarf
said sarcastically. He cleared his throat and halted Severus� retreat once more
by wrapping his stout arms around the Slytherin�s legs.� He cleared his throat, and all the students
looked on expectantly.

�So very tall and incredibly dark,

He makes students quiver with only one snark.

Those eyes; black as night! And hair dark as coal,

He makes me weak right down to my soul.

So don�t be surprised, don�t be agape,

When I tell you I�m quite mad for Severus Snape.�

�And with that, the
dwarf hustled off to catch Ginny Weasley whose eyes widened in alarm just
before she took off running for the nearest classroom.� �That was�that was�.� Harry sputtered, and
Hermione grinned as she saw that Severus was still standing, stock-still in the
middle of the hall, staring down where the dwarf had just been.� Then he drew his robes around him with a
swirl of black and sailed down the hall with a murderous expression on his
face.� �Hermione,� her friend said
suddenly.� �Do we have Potions today?�

Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth.� �Yes.� Then she thought about it.� �But not until after lunch � he�ll calm down
before then.� I think. Oh, duck � bat
bogey hex, three o�clock�.��

During a complicated Ancient Runes class, she had forgotten
about her wrathful fianc� altogether.�
Thus, she was completely unprepared to have a dwarf run up to her right
as she was in her study period with a group of other Gryffindors.� �Hermione Granger, valentine for you � this
one�s musical,� he informed her tersely.�
�I�m not going to have to hold you down, am I?�� At her startled look, he relaxed and pulled a
ukulele out of thin air and began strumming it and singing at the top of his
lungs the most ridiculous and embarrassing thing she�d ever heard.

�Hermione;

Oh, me love you long time-y!

You make grown wizards say �blimey�

Because your arse is so fine-y.

Yes, Hermione �

Up your staircase I yearn to climb-y

Without your love I�d be quite whiney

You make me glad to be a limey.

Oh! Hermione;

You�d love a book even if it were slimy

And when you read your eyes get quite shiny

That�s why I�ll always love my Hermione.�

Hermione wondered if there was a spell to make the earth
swallow her up.� There had to be one,
somewhere.� Her fellow Gryffindors were
pounding the tables and screaming with laughter, and Seamus, Ron and even Harry
had fallen out of their seats, kicking their feet into the air shrieking.� She shooed the grinning dwarf away from her
wildly then pulled her cloak up to cover her burning cheeks.� �That�s not funny! Stop laughing,� she
hissed.� This only caused a fresh
outbreak of hilarity.

�Her-Hermione�of c-course it�s not,� Lavender gasped.� �It�s just that�that�he loves you long time-y! Ahhhh-hhahahahaha-haaaa�.!�

The Head Girl scooped up her books haughtily and swept out
to her next class, only to find that once she got near a group of Ravenclaws,
the dwarf ran up once again and pulled a repeat performance.� It even happened when she was beside a clump
of Hufflepuffs, and by the time she received an encore by the Slytherins, she
wanted to drop out of school completely.�
Of course, each male student she passed yelled out �Blimey, Hermione!�
and things to that effect.� Potions class
was a lively one, given that Severus didn�t even reprimand her fellow
Gryffindors from sniggering about the poem though he never admitted to penning
it in the first place.� Staying after for
a reprimand was out of the question as well � when she tried, he took points
for being, of all things, �sluggish and obstreperous.�� Seeing a dwarf chasing down Ron Weasley, she
hailed the man and told him that he had a new commission.� Hiding once more by the dungeon entrance when
she heard her lover open the door, she waited.

�Ode to a Slytherin,� the dwarf announced loudly.� She watched Severus do a double take at the
small person in a diaper and wings right in front of him.

�Haven�t you learnt your lesson?�

�Jus� doin�my job.�
Did yours, yah? Anyhows, this �uns called �Ode to a Slytherin.��

�His hair is as black as the cauldrons he stirs,

He can make women melt with only one word.

But one secret he has, it shall be spilt �

He looks quite smashing in only a kilt.�

A group of approaching fifth years gaped at this, and
started giggling madly before the Evil Eye was laid upon them.� The dwarf barely escaped with his life and
Hermione tiptoed out of hiding once she heard Severus going back into his
classroom snarling at the unfortunate souls to be quiet.� She wondered what he would do to her in
retaliation, already regretting losing her cool and sending a response to that
ridiculous song.� Hermione grew
increasingly nervous and when she heard the uproar by the giant House
hourglasses, she hurried forward just in time to see the numbers indicating the
debt spinning backwards wildly.� Points
from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were also being taken in huge amounts � Hermione
remembered that those had been the fifth years that had witnessed her
�Ode.�� He had most likely heard them
laughing about the sight of their Potions professor in a kilt.� But taking even MORE points from Gryffindor?
This meant war.

A group of dwarves with bedraggled-looking wings appeared to
sing her more embarrassing poems, limericks, and songs that made the
surrounding students howl with laughter despite their outrage at the point
deductions.� She retaliated by penning a
limerick about how Severus looked nude and made sure it was delivered in the Staff
Room.� This kept up until it was time to
gather in the Great Hall for supper � the entire school was abuzz at what they
called �The War� and watched Hermione closely�it was her turn to receive a
poem.� She sat with Harry and Ron, who
couldn�t believe that their friend would deliberately anger Professor Snape
just for the fun of it.� �It�s not just
for fun � well, the first one was, but if he would have taken it better, this
wouldn�t have happened.� She halted as her fianc� appeared behind her suddenly,
arms folded imperiously�all the House tables fell silent, waiting for what
would happen next.� Severus unfolded his
arms slowly, and then reached his right hand towards his left wrist, where
Hermione knew his wand was tucked up his sleeve.� Making eye contact with her, he slid his
fingers inside his sleeve, closed his hand about something and with a sudden
jerk that made them all jump, withdrew a small roll of parchment and handed it
to her.� Then he turned and swept up to
the head table without a word.

�What�s it say? Open it,� Ron hissed, leaning over the table
to try taking it from her.� She pulled it
out of his grasp and unrolled it slowly, reading it aloud in a hushed tone.

�It is you and you only that I adore,

But this is a warning you cannot ignore;

Send one more poem and this I say true-

I�ll send you to Hell, straight through the Floo!�

She laughed and turned to see him staring back at her.�� Hermione thought deliberately of where they
had left off that morning and was relieved to see him incline his head
graciously and return his attention upon his meal.

************************************************************************

Severus saw with relief and no small bit of pride that his
witch was finally going to give up � it had been extremely stupid, warring over
poems and the like.� But part of him
actually thought it was a bit fun�even though the entire castle knew what
Hermione thought of his voice.� And his
hands. Not to mention his�well, Lockhart�s signature Obliviate spell had taken
care of that.� Trelawney still couldn�t remember how to use
her fork, and it looked as if Flitwick had forgotten to chew.�

He couldn�t wait until Hermione had a chance to Disillusion
herself up in her dormitory and slip down to his chambers � while Dumbledore had
been overjoyed that they were engaged, he had told them in no uncertain terms
that �engaged� was not �married� and he expected them to behave as they
should.� Well, Severus hadn�t been sorted
into Slytherin for having exceptional knitting skills, and Hermione had learned
Disillusionment within the hour. Mulling over the steamy little scene his
intended was currently thinking about and wondering how long it would take her
to slip away tonight, he almost missed it when Albus awarded Gryffindor back
all the points they had lost.� The reason
the Headmaster gave was �for providing timeless amusement by way of verse.�

The Potions Master settled back into his seat with a
disgruntled sigh.� Well, he�d get those
points away from her House soon enough.�
Dinner ended and he only had to wait a short time before there came a
knock on his door and he opened it� to
allow a shimmering mass of air slip past him and bounce itself on his bed.� �You have a lot to make up for, young lady.�

The shimmering air resolved itself into a totally nude
Hermione, her knees slightly open in his direction.� �What do you think I came for?�� He stared hotly at her bare form and began to
unbutton his coat � they said that revenge was sweet, but this was much better.

*********

Out in the corridor, Argus Filch rolled his eyes to hear the
moans starting up again.� Why did he have
to be the one polishing these suits of armor on the night that Severus Snape
picked to make his student squeal like a stuck pig?� He amended that analogy�it sounded much more
like yodeling�. Shuffling down the hall, he decided to pay Irma a visit. She
had told him that she had found an extremely interesting book in the snow a few
days earlier, and wanted to show it to him.

************************************************************************
- 16
- 17
- 18
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Reluctant Highlander