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A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy	By : AnasellaEmm Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 75943 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter related characters, places and themes belong to J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury and Scholastic.
A/N: The chapter title comes from the song “The Scientist” by Coldplay. So very sorry for the wait! I should be punished, I really should! Forgive me?
Chapter 17: Tell Me You Love Me
Zane stared at the closed door of his bedroom with his arms folded across his chest and his flaxen eyebrows furrowed in anger. His legs were dangling over the side of his bed and were swinging in short kicks at the poor mattress.
He was in a bad mood since he wasn’t allowed into his mummy and daddy’s room that morning. He had actually turned the doorknob to their bedroom to find it locked. The absolute nerve of them to lock him out! He had tried knocking on the door, but they just told him to wait a few minutes and come back later. They actually had had the audacity to giggle and not even come to the door to tell him to go away!
Suffice it to say, Zane Malfoy was not in a very good mood. All he had wanted to do was say good morning to them and give them a hug and kiss and they wouldn’t even let him in to the room. Well, they were just a bunch of poop-heads.
He hopped off the bed and grabbed Rosie from his post on the floor. His Malfoy determination barely in check, he reached up to his doorknob and opened the door. He stomped all the way over to the living room and walked to the telephone. He needed to talk to Gamma immediately.
Hermione had taught him how to use the telephone in case of emergencies. She had told him very specifically that he was only to use it to call Gamma if there was an emergency only. This was most definitely an emergency and he just had to speak to Gamma. Narcissa had readily agreed to have a telephone installed at the manor, not wanting to even think of the injuries Zane could get from not using the floo properly.
Zane picked up the receiver and looked at the numbers. He pressed the right numbers in the right order and waited as the tone sounded. One ring. Two rings. Three rings.
“Hello?” Narcissa’s voice sounded through the receiver.
“Gamma?” Zane squeaked, his eyes starting to burn with angry tears.
“Zane, my love, is everything all right?” Her panicked tone was clearly evident.
“No, Gamma. I’m very, very, very mad!” he said with a sniffle.
“And what is it that you are mad at?” she asked with a sigh of relief. She was quite used to the Malfoy males’ melodrama. She had suffered through it for years.
“Mummy and daddy locked the door, and they won’t let me in the room, and I just wanted to say good morning to them, and I wanted to hug them and give them a big kiss, and they wouldn’t let me come in
and… and…” At that point, Zane started to cry into the telephone. “I’m mad at Mummy and Daddy very much!”
“Oh, goodness gracious,” Narcissa breathed into the phone. “Please wipe your tears and don’t be upset, darling. I know you are feeling very sad and angry at your mummy and daddy, but I need you to be a big boy and listen for a moment, ok?”
He nodded his head, a fruitless move since she obviously couldn’t see him.
“Zane, your parents love you very much. Sometimes mummies and daddies need to spend some time together without any children. Now, like I said, they still love you with all of their hearts and you mustn’t forget that. You have to be a big boy and understand that they sometimes need to have some privacy.”
“But… but, what are they doing all by themselves?” he asked.
“They are just spending time together,” Narcissa said, clearing her throat to cover something a certain husband of hers was saying.
“Is that Gampa?” Zane asked, hearing Lucius’s baritone laugh in the background.
“Yes, that is Gampa acting very silly,” she replied tartly. “Back to what I was telling you, Zane, do you understand what I’m saying about your parents?”
“Yes,” he said grudgingly. “Can I talk to Gampa?”
He figured that if Gamma wouldn’t help him, Gampa definitely could. He heard some grumbles and sighs on the other end and then finally heard his grandfather’s voice.
“Yes, Zane?” Lucius said.
“Gampa? Can you put Mummy and Daddy in time-out for locking me out?”
“Didn’t you just hear what your grandmother said?” he asked with a weary sigh.
“But they won’t let me in to the room!” Zane said. “Are they playing games without me?”
He heard his grandfather chuckle, and then he heard a smack followed by a muffled curse word.
“Gampa! That’s a bad word!”
“My apologies, Zane. Your grandmother was manhandling me,” he explained.
Zane didn’t understand a word of that so he decided to ignore it. “I want to play games if Mummy and Daddy are playing games! Are they playing ‘fort’? Me and Wolf play ‘fort,’ and you have to have a password to come into the fort, and there are no girls allowed in the fort, and only Rosie and Jasper and me and Wolf can go in the fort because we all know the password…”
“Zane Malfoy” Lucius’s voice finally interrupted the rant. “Are you quite finished with your story?”
“Do I need a password to get into Mummy and Daddy’s fort?” Zane asked. He needed answers to his questions, darn it!
“Narcissa, I swear, if you don’t stop hitting me…” Lucius said after another laugh.
“What’s the password, Gampa?” Zane asked, trying to steer the focus back to the dilemma at hand.
“What password?” Lucius asked. “Oh, for Merlin’s sake… Zane, you are not allowed to go into your parents’ fort. You must give them time to be alone together because the last thing I need is for you to walk in on things I don’t want you knowing about until you reach puberty. Merciful heaven, just wait until they’re finished… talking… and then just annoy them until you’re satisfied.”
“They’re talking?” Zane asked.
“Yes. Talking,” he replied curtly.
“Oh, ok. Growmups always talk very boring,” Zane went on to explain. “I don’t want to go in their fort anymore.”
“Praise the gods,” Lucius murmured. “Now, be a good boy and sit on the couch with your dinosaur toy or whatever toy you wish to sit with.”
“Ok, Gampa. I think I hear their door open! Bye!” Zane quickly slammed the receiver back on the phone’s cradle and walked to the hallway where Hermione had emerged from the bedroom, her bathrobe wrapped tightly around her.
“Who were you talking to, sweetheart?” she asked, worried that someone might have been at the door.
“Gamma and Gampa,” he replied.
“Did they call? I didn’t hear the phone,” she asked.
“I just talked to them and they told me that I should be big boy,” he explained. He wasn’t about to tell her about the conversation. He was still a bit upset with her and his daddy and he was going to keep what his grandparents told him to himself. “Are you and daddy done talking?”
Hermione coughed and felt her cheeks burn. “Uh, yes.”
“Good. Don’t lock me out again!” he warned, walking back towards his room to change out of his pyjamas. “You talked too long!”
Hermione watched him walk away, her face in her hand as she contemplated the fastest way to dig a hole in the ground, crawl into it and die.
Monday morning dawned slowly and brightly, much to the displeasure of Draco’s drowsiness. He pulled the covers over his head and turned back to sleep before he felt the poking finger of his wife.
“Get up, Draco,” Hermione said with a yawn as she poked at her husband’s shoulder.
“I don’t want to,” he murmured into his pillow.
“You have to go to work,” she said, turning her pokes into a soft rub.
“Bugger work,” he mumbled.
“Help me get Zane dressed. Today is his interview with Rhonda,” she replied. She kissed the nape of his neck and climbed out of the bed. She walked to the bathroom and left him in the bed all alone. He hated it when she left him in the bed all alone.
“Fine! I’m up!” he grumbled loudly, sitting up and running his fingers through his hair.
Together, they got ready for the day, woke Zane up, dressed him, fed him, fed themselves, and left the house. Right before they were to go off to their different locations, Draco knelt down and clasped Zane’s shoulders.
“Zane, today you’re going to see Miss Rhonda and talk to her,” he explained.
“I know. Mummy told me,” Zane replied.
“I want you to be very polite to Miss Rhonda and answer all of her questions. If she makes you feel upset or angry, then you be sure to tell your mummy about it when the interview is finished, ok?”
“Ok, Daddy,” he nodded. “Can I have a hug?”
Draco had no choice but to oblige the kid, so he wrapped his arms around him and kissed his hair. Once he stood up, Hermione gave him a reassuring smile. Like the sap he was, he leaned over and kissed her lips softly.
She blinked rapidly once he pulled away, not used to any displays of affection from him outside of their flat.
“I’ll see you two at home,” he said with a small smile and apparated on the spot.
“Kissing is yucky,” Zane said as he pulled her arm towards the sidewalk.
“Very yucky,” Hermione said, smiling down at him.
“Wolf said he wants to kiss Miss Donny when he gets bigger but not now because it’s yucky,” he explained.
“We’ll see,” she added noncommittally. “Now, let’s go over the letter of the week…”
Hermione walked into the school and helped Zane with his jumper and his backpack before watching him walk into the classroom to start drawing on the chalkboard. She walked in behind him once she saw Donny arranging the books in the library center.
“Good morning, Donny,” Hermione said brightly as she kneeled down to help her.
“Morning, Hermione. How are you this morning?”
“I’ll be fine once you tell me how your date went with Oliver,” she said with a sly smile.
“What date?” Donny replied with a guilty look and a mischievous look in her eye.
“Don! Don’t tease me! Tell me what happened, please,” Hermione begged.
“Oh, alright. It was a nice date. And by nice I mean it was the most fantastic evening in the history of evenings! He bought me flowers, Hermione. Roses! I nearly ripped off his pants right then and there!”
Hermione quickly glanced over to make sure Zane was far enough not to hear their discussion. “Besides you being ridiculously perverted, what else happened?”
“Well, we couldn’t really go just anywhere, because Woodie is so well-known, so he took me to this restaurant that has a private booth reserved just for him. I swear he was so cute trying to impress me. I mean, really, we could have had dinner out in the alley behind the Leaky Cauldron and I still would have been on cloud nine.”
“What did the two of you talk about?”
Donny’s eyes brightened and she pushed her hair out of her eyes. “He seemed so interested in my work here at the school and he’s just about the sweetest man who ever walked this earth. He’s modest and he’s so attentive. He actually pays attention when I speak and I just wanted to kiss the Scottish brogue right out of his mouth every time he uttered a syllable. Oh, Hermione… he’s so wonderful. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve all this.”
“You haven’t done anything, Don. You’re a wonderful person and you deserve to be happy,” Hermione told her. “Now, stop with the sappy stuff, and just tell me if he kissed you again!”
“He kissed me. Twice,” Donny smiled. “He wants to see me again when he gets back from the Champions World Tour next week. He’s owled me twice since our date and he flooed me this morning to wish me a good day at school. How on earth was this man created so perfectly? It boggles the mind.”
“You’ll keep me updated on this hot, new relationship, right?” Hermione asked as they finished arranging the books.
“Duh,” Donny replied with a roll of her eyes. “Just like you’ll keep me updated on what happens today at Zane’s interview.”
“Definitely. Although, now that you mention it, I’m absolutely terrified,” Hermione sighed. “Zane is so trusting and so innocent and I just hope they don’t intimidate him too much.” She paused for a moment and bit her lip. “Draco is nervous.”
“I’m sure he is. His son’s custody is in the balance and we both know that Draco would fall apart without him. I mean, I know he loves you and all, but Zane is his entire existence.”
Hermione snorted. “Draco doesn’t love me.”
In a horrified instant, she realized her mistake when Donny quirked an eyebrow.
“I’m just joking!” Hermione laughed, her heart beating ferociously and her lips shaking slightly.
Donny smiled. “You’re funny, Hermione. Real funny. Anyone can see how infatuated he is with you. I mean, forget the burning looks he gives you and the way he always has to touch you in some way whether it be his hand on the small of your back or his arm around your shoulders…”
Hermione let the rest of Donny’s words trail off as she sat in shock. She’d never even noticed any of those things, but now that Donny was bringing them up she realized they were true. But, that didn’t mean Draco loved her. Did it?
“… it’s amazing how he still has that newlywed adoration for you even after three months. It’s no wonder the two of you married so quickly,” Donny had continued. She sighed and then stood up, helping Hermione off the floor as well. “I hope one day I’ll be in just as much love as the two of you.”
With that, Hermione numbly watched her friend walk over to the chalkboard and help Zane erase his drawings. She couldn’t get Donny’s words out of her head… she had a lot of thinking to do.
Miss Rhonda Westin sat in a chair across from Zane in her private office, watching the little boy as he stared at a motivational poster behind her desk. His legs were dangling off the chair and were swinging slowly as his eyes inspected the room slowly.
She set a quill to automatically dictate their conversation and leaned forward in her chair. “Well, Zane, let’s reacquaint ourselves, shall we? I’m Rhonda Westin, your permanently assigned Domestic Ministry Professional,” she said slowly, adjusting the rolls of parchment in her hands.
He stared at her with a blank expression.
“How has your day been so far?” she asked.
“I went to school with my mummy,” he replied. “Wolf and me played in the sand and I had some macaroni at lunchtime.”
“That sounds good,” she said. “Do you like going to school?”
“Yes. My mummy is my teacher, and we learn stuff all the time, and my mummy says I’m very smart,” he told her. “Wolf is my bestest friend, and he is in my school, and we play at recess and at centers. I love school very, very, very, very much.”
“Do you ever have to go to time-out at school?”
“Sometimes I don’t be quiet when my mummy says we have to be quiet, so she puts me in the timeout, and I have to be very quiet in the timeout or I won’t get to play at recess or centers.”
“Tell me, Zane, do you like your new mummy?”
“I love my mummy,” he said seriously. “She gives me kisses, and she gives me big hugs, and she always plays with me, and I love her very, very, very, very much.”
“Does she ever spank you?”
Zane’s eyebrows furrowed. “Sometimes when I do something very bad. But my daddy spanks me more.”
Rhonda gave him a small smile. “Does it hurt when they spank you, Zane?”
“No. They hit me soft,” he said. “But they only give me a spanking when I do something very, very, very, very bad. Sometimes I just have to sit in my room and I don’t get to watch any telly.”
“Do you watch the telly a lot?”
“My mummy says I can only watch for one hour before I go to sleep. I watch all the time this big di-osaur like Rosie and he sings songs and I love to watch it. Rosie likes to watch it, too. Daddy does not like to watch it. He says it hurts his head a lot,” he explained. “Mummy watches it with me and we sing the songs together!”
Rhonda nodded slowly. “Do your mummy and daddy argue? Do they fight with each other?”
“Yes, sometimes they yell at each other, but Wolf’s mummy and daddy yell at each other, too and we close our ears.” He demonstrated by pressing his hands against his ears and smiling at the woman. “See? And Gamma and Gampa yell at each other, too. Actually, Gamma always yells at Gampa and Gampa just does like this.” He lifted one of his dark blond eyebrows using his pointer finger.
“I see. Now, do you ever miss your real mummy?”
“My mummy is my teacher,” he told her. “I miss her a lot when I sleep at Wolf’s house and when I visit Gamma and Gampa.”
“No, Zane. Your real mummy lives in France and her name is Pansy,” Rhonda clarified.
“Pansy?” Zane’s little mouth pursed in concentration. “Pansy isn’t my mummy. She was not nice to me and my mummy is my mummy now. She’s my teacher at school.”
“Zane, your real mother is Pansy. She is your true and only mother.”
“No, Pansy is just Pansy. She doesn’t smile at me and she doesn’t give me kisses and hugs. Mummy is my real mummy,” he clarified. Why didn’t this stupid lady understand?
“Well, then, do you ever miss Pansy?”
“No.”
“Just no?”
“I don’t like Pansy. She’s not nice to me and I want to see my mummy now. I don’t want to talk anymore. Can I go right now?”
“Zane, we aren’t finished with our conversation.”
“But I want to see my mummy and give her a big hug and then I want to go home and see my daddy and then we can have dinner and I can play with Rosie,” he told her.
“I just have one more question,” she said patiently.
He gave her another blank look.
“Did you know that Pansy loves you very much?”
He kept staring.
“She does, Zane, and she wishes that you would love her, too.”
“Can I see my mummy now?” he asked, jumping off the seat and heading towards the door. “Bye-bye Ronna!”
She watched the little boy open the door and peek outside before spotting his stepmother and rushing into her arms. She stopped the automatic quill and stepped outside to speak with her.
“Mrs. Malfoy? Our interview is finished for today. Zane did a swell job and I’ll be in contact within the next week to set up interviews with your employee, Zane’s grandparents and other immediate relations.”
Hermione gave the woman a feigned smile and nodded curtly. “Good day, Miss Westin,” she said shortly. “Come along, Zane.”
Zane latched onto her hand and turned a sly smile to Rhonda before the both of them turned the corner of the hallway. Rhonda ran a shaky hand through her messy hair and walked back into her office where she proceeded to grab a headache-relief serum and a cup of tea. She read over the dictated notes with a weary disposition and started contemplating another career-choice.
Draco paced anxiously in front of the fireplace as he glanced at the clock hanging over the mantle. Hermione and Zane would be home soon and he had just gotten home himself, unable to do anything until he knew how the interview had gone.
At the sound of the front door opening, he held his breath until they came into view.
“Daddy!” Zane shrieked, launching himself into his father’s arms.
Draco kissed the top of his son’s head and hugged him tight, glancing up at Hermione as she hung her cloak in the hallway closet. “How was your day, Zane?”
“It was fun! Mummy bought me two sweets when we were walking home!” he exclaimed, pulling his head back to look at his father.
Draco glanced at the ring of chocolate around Zane’s mouth and laughed softly. He kissed his cheek and picked him up. “How did the interview go?” he asked Hermione.
She shrugged. “Zane said it went alright and that he didn’t feel uncomfortable. He said that Rhonda asked him about school and about Pansy.”
“What did he say?” Draco gulped.
Hermione smiled and bit her lower lip. “What did you tell Miss Rhonda when she asked you about Pansy, Zane?” she asked the little boy in his father’s arms.
“She told me that Pansy was my mummy but that’s so silly because you’re my mummy! You give me hugs and kisses, and Pansy is always a meanie-head to me.”
Hearing those words again, Hermione felt her eyes fill with foolish tears as she gave Draco a small smile. “I believe he told Rhonda something along those terms.”
“The kid doesn’t know it yet, but he’s as Slytherin as it gets,” Draco mentioned as he let Zane down. “It’s enough to make me fear for our sanity.”
They watched Zane zoom off down the hall towards his room. Hermione started to walk to the kitchen to start dinner when Draco’s hand stopped her. He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and turned her around so that she was facing him. He tilted her chin up with his knuckles and kissed her lips, turning the kiss deeper when she leaned into him. He pulled away slightly and kept his lips against hers as he spoke. “Thank you, Hermione. For everything.”
“What did I say about thanking me?” she asked breathlessly against his mouth, eager to taste more of him.
He laughed, kissing her again, his smile transferring from his lips to hers.
He pulled back from her when they heard Zane’s singing coming down the hallway. “His timing is impeccable,” Draco muttered. “We’ll finish this later.”
He kissed the tip of her nose and walked to their room, leaving to change from his work clothes and to leave his wife with a wide smile on her face.
--
Draco had kept his word and they had finished their little business later that night, not even waiting until they reached the bed, but going at it during Hermione’s nightly shower… and then against the sink in the bathroom… and then once more for good luck on the bedroom floor.
As they lay in bed that night, Hermione stroking Draco’s baby-soft hair as his head lay against her chest, she couldn’t prevent her mind from doing things it shouldn’t do, like realizing that she was utterly, hopelessly, absurdly, and certifiably in love with Draco Malfoy.
A soft smile caressed her lips as the thought came to full bloom. She was in love! She was in love, and she was happy, and she was the luckiest woman on the planet. She had a husband who could make her laugh, who could make her angry beyond all reason, who could take her to the most intense sexual peaks and then make her heart fill to burst with his rare words of endearment.
When she heard Draco’s breathing even out against her chest, she closed her eyes and bit back the annoying voice in her head that said she was in deep trouble. She was set to divorce Draco in almost three months and she had a gut feeling that he didn’t share the same feelings she held for him, regardless of what Donny said. Draco was just a really good actor.
With a sigh, she decided that she’d keep her little realization to herself until she knew for certain that Draco held any feelings for her. It would completely destroy her if she were to tell him how she felt and learn that he didn’t love her at all…
Draco’s existence seemed pretty peaceful: a wife who was turning into a surprisingly fantastic lover and friend, a son who worshipped the ground he walked on, and a steady career that fulfilled him intellectually.
He couldn’t remember ever having a more content existence and for some reason, he knew that it was too good to be true.
He was right, of course. Two weeks before his four month wedding anniversary, a rainy Saturday morning, he answered his door to find Victor Reid standing on the other side… the man who had almost raped Hermione… the man who Draco was about to strangle for daring to show up at his flat…
...
a/n: yes, it’s a short chapter and it ends on a cliffhanger, but I’ll be updating much faster this time! I’m really so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! I hope you will all forgive me!! Thank you so much for your reviews, patience and for all the condolences. They really all mean so much to me. I also want to thank everyone who voted at the Dramione awards and the QtP awards for this story! It won Best
Fluffy Fic at QtP and Best Fic with a Baby or Kids at the Dramione awards and Second Place for Best Comedy also at the Dramione awards. Thank you all so very, very much! MUAH!
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A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy