The Mentor

Chapter 17 – Chaos Precedes Order

Snape just sat on his plush leather sofa, waiting for his witch to stop laughing. Actually he was begging the gods for Hermione to stop laughing. He was beginning to question her sanity.

“Oh Severus!” she guffawed, “I thought that you just said that you gave me a potion to ensure conception. That is the funniest thing I have heard in ages!” Hermione rubbed the tears from her eyes.

He did not know what to say, so Severus waited for Hermione to return to her senses.

It was not a long wait.

Without warning, she turned to Severus, grabbing him harshly by the collar of his shirt.

“Are you fucking telling me that you gave me a potion that peripherally would ease any minor discomfort but might then leave me with a child for the next twenty years or so? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Now it was Hermione’s turn to jump up and pace in front of the fire. In all of the scenarios that had raced through her mind over the course of the day, not one included the possibility that she might be pregnant. Part of her was elated that Severus was so adamant that he would never leave her; while another part was dizzy, contemplating the possibility of having a baby.

Wait…a baby…the last few years had been filled with so much death and destruction. Several wizarding families, for some unknown reason, had been left unable to have children at all, be they magical or squib. Severus was handing her the possibility of adding another witch or wizard to the ailing population. Aside from that; having lost so many family and friends, the thought of a new life was somewhat invigorating. Hermione paused for a moment, running her hands over her flat tummy, wondering what it might feel like to have her own baby move within her womb.
In that moment, Severus was entranced, watching Hermione caress the child that might not even be. He stood beside her, covering her hands with his own.

“I never though that I would have a child, let alone desire one. Yet, the thought of our baby growing under your heart unmans me. Please. Tell me that you will forgive me. Tell me that if you are carrying my child that you will not terminate the pregnancy without considering what this means to me”. Severus stood in front of Hermione, holding his hands over hers as they rubbed against her tummy.

The time was long and painfully drawn out as Severus waited for Hermione to respond.

“I thought that you might never want a child of your own, given how you treat some of your students”, Hermione answered in a quiet voice.

“I wondered that myself several times”, her responded. “But when the prospect is a child born by the woman that you love, it changes absolutely everything. I have had visions of a black, curly haired baby since our first night together, and I find myself quite wanting to meet this little person”.

Hermione did not know what to say at his admission. Clearly, she had made some assumptions about Severus and his desire for children that were not accurate. She had also made some assumptions about the depth of his feelings for her that were entirely off the mark.

“I need time”, she said suddenly. “I need time to think; to think about what this means for me and for us. I need space”. She hurried to the door, which would not open. “Please Severus”, Hermione implored with tears in her eyes. “Please let me out. I just need a little space and a little time to think all of this over”.

The last thing that Severus wanted to do was let Hermione go. He wanted to curl her in his arms and take her to his bed. But he was also a smart man. She might have cursed and screamed and demanded to never see him again. Her request for ‘a little space’ was much better than he might have hoped. The least he could do was give her that time.

Hermione could feel the minor tingle, letting her know that the wards were lifted. Without even a backwards glance at Severus, she left his quarters.

It took all of his considerable self control to keep from following her. That same inner voice that screamed self preservation was demanding that he follow Hermione and make her see his position; and make her stay with him. But that was not what he needed to do. She asked for her space, and by Merlin, he would give it to her. No matter how much it ripped the heart from his chest. It was the least he could do.

********

The last couple of days had passed without Hermione making an appearance at any of the meals in the Great Hall. It was another week later before Severus dared ask Minerva about Hermione’s whereabouts.

“Oh Severus”, she had responded with a startled laugh. “I completely forgot about letting you know. Hermione has a special clause in her contract that enables her to have short sabbaticals that allow her to continue her charms research. She came to me a few days ago, excited about a new development that she needed to pursue. I just assumed that as her mentor, you already knew about it”.

“You are correct Minerva. I did forget about that. Hermione informed me earlier last week”.

Minerva was a little shocked. Severus Snape had been a double agent at the height of the Wizarding Wars. He never forgot anything. Maybe now that the pressure was off, he needed a little time to recuperate. The winter holidays were fast approaching, and Minerva was determined to get Severus to use this time for a holiday.

Severus was at a loss. Not for a moment did he think that Hermione would leave in the middle of term. Granted, he was also unaware that she had a special contract, allowing her to take leave through the regular school year. He realized that there were several things he did not know about his witch, but he was determined that they would have all the time they needed to discover each other.

**********

Another week passed before Hermione returned to the castle. She regretted her lie to Minerva, although she did do some research while she was away. Her parents had moved to Australia permanently after the end of the war, but left her a small, thatch roofed cottage on Dumanus Bay in County Cork.

She spent the first week on her own lost in thought, her anger at Severus slowly morphing to disappointment and confusion. How could he do this to her? Why would he do this to her? Had he really forgotten the true purpose of that blasted potion?

Hermione spent the second week at the cottage grieving for something that she was convinced she did not even want. Her cycle had started, and although it was a couple of days late and lighter than it normally was. Now that she knew she was not carrying Severus’ child, Hermione felt the loss deeply.

At the end of the second week, Hermione was certain of two things; first – it was time to stop hiding and head back to school. The other was that regardless of how many times she cursed and swore at Severus, her love for him had not faltered. She only hoped that it was not too late for them.

**********

Severus was not sure if he could survive this. Hermione’s continued absence was destroying him in small pieces. He could not eat, rarely slept and his focus was practically nonexistent. He thought that he was hiding it from the students, and if they did notice, no one would ever comment on it, let alone dream of asking him if something was wrong.

Minerva had noticed something was not quite right with her potions professor, and it seemed to be getting worse. She debated speaking with him about it, but ultimately decided to bide her time. Severus Snape was the last person that would ever appreciate her interference, no matter how well intentioned. Hopefully, she could talk him into taking a holiday somewhere warm over the winter break. She turned to watch him pretend to eat his dinner, pushing the food around his plate despondently. He finally gave up any pretence of eating, excused himself and made his way back to the dungeons.

**********

It was a sign of his distraction that Severus did not notice the intruder until he was walking into his quarters. The first thing that caught his attention was the fire flickering in the hearth. He had not started a fire yet today. The next thing he noticed was the trace of a soft lavender scent; her scent.

“Severus”, Hermione called softly from her seat beside the fire. “I hope that you do not mind that I let myself in. You were not here when I got back, and I wanted to speak with you right away”. She gazed at his beloved face, looking for a hint of rejection or censure.

He stood there for several long moments, simply staring at her, hoping that it was not another figment of his imagination. Severus slowly walked towards her, kneeling on the ground and running his finger down her cheek. “Are you real?” he asked in wonder. “Are you really sitting here?”

Hermione gave Severus a tender smile. “Yes, and I missed you very much. And I am so sorry that I ran away. I really do not have an excuse except that I was scared”. Her lower lip started to tremble. “Please Severus”, she begged, covering his hands with hers. “Tell me that it is not too late for us”.

Severus was stunned. His beautiful, perfect witch was asking for his forgiveness, and she was worried that it was too late for them! Grasping Hermione’s hand, he pulled her out of the chair, switched places and hugged her into his arms. She snuggled into his lap, overwhelmed at the feeling of being exactly where she belonged.

He rested his cheek on her forehead. “For you, there is nothing to forgive. I am the one that should be begging for forgiveness. My oversight, no matter how unintentional, was unforgivable”.

“Oh no Severus”, Hermione protested, turning in his arms to look in his eyes. “As I was sitting in my cottage, pondering our situation, I remembered something that my mother always told me; from the time she thought I might be having sex, anyway”.

“And what might that be?”

“That it takes two to tango”, she answered with a sardonic look. “That protecting myself is my responsibility first and foremost. I cannot blame you for the lack in me”. She hugged him to her, pressing her lips against his neck. “I missed you so much!”

“And I you. It was as though you took my heart with you, such as it is.”

They sat there for several minutes, savouring the feeling of being in each other’s arms again.

“I have to ask. Are you pregnant?”

Hermione took a deep breath before responding, willing away the slight pain in her heart. “No”, she answered quietly, “my period came about a week ago”.

She could feel the tears starting to well-up behind her eyes, and pressed her face into his chest. Her response surprised Severus. If he did not know better, he might think that she was disappointed to not be carrying his child. When her shoulders started to quiver, and a muffled sob escaped, he did not know what to say or do. He simply held her close, rubbing her back.

“Is it not the most contrary thing you have ever heard?” she finally commented. “When I thought I might be pregnant, I was not sure that I wanted the baby, and yet, when I found out I wasn’t, it was awful. I realized that I wanted your baby, more than anything”.

Severus smiled, and felt a surge of hope, knowing that there was a change for them. “Well”, he answered in his silkiest tone, “when the time is right, we will have to do something about that”.

“Do you really mean that?” Hermione asked with tinge of doubt in her voice.

“How can you even ask me?” he replied. “You know I do, almost as much as I want to make love with you”.

In one smooth movement, Severus stood, lifting Hermione with him. With purposeful strides, he walked to the bedroom, allowing Hermione to slide down his body to stand beside the bed.

Hermione shrugged her black teaching robes off her shoulders, and reached up to begin unbuttoning her soft grey silk blouse. Severus reached for her hands and gently pulled them back to her sides.

“Please”, he asked. “Let me undress you. Having you back here is like a gift, and I want to unwrap it”.

It seemed that Severus was going to start at the top of his ‘gift’ as he tenderly reached behind her head, pulling out the pins that were holding her curly hair into a soft twist. He gathered the warm, honeyed mass of her hair in his hands and arranged it to fall over her shoulders, where it covered her silk covered breasts, almost reaching her waist. He twisted one errant curl around his index finger, bringing the ringlet to his nose and inhaling deeply. Her familiar scent of lavender and chamomile caused a rush of blood to his cock, making him instantly and painfully aroused.

“I love your hair. I love the how it smells. I love how it catches the light and looks like caramel and honey. And I love how soft it feels when you are riding me and it brushes against my body”.

Hermione could not respond. She shivered at his words, and waited to see what Severus was going to do next. She did not have to wait long as he started to slowly unbutton her shirt. He tugged the tails out from under the waistband of her skirt, then reached behind her to run his fingers teasingly up and done her back.

“I think that you are even thinner than before. Did you eat when you were away?”

Hermione had the grace to blush at the mild reprimand.

“I was not hungry. My stomach was clenched with worry, and the feeling was so intense that I felt nauseous all the time.”

“Well, I can relate to that feeling. I do not think that I finished one full meal the entire time you were gone. I could sense Minerva biting her tongue, dying to ask me what the matter was. She showed remarkable restraint.”

Without removing her blouse, Severus deftly unsnapped the clasp of her bra, reaching up to push the silver satin cups over the top of her breasts, allowing the firm, fleshy globes to bounce free. He stared at them in appreciation.

“At least when you lose weight, these stay the same. Gods, but you are lovely.”
Severus brushed his thumbs over the mocha nipples, smirking at the way they pebbled under his touch. They were a little darker than he remembered, but just as responsive.

Hermione threw her head back and moaned, stunned as a wave of need flashed from her nipples straight to her weeping core. With no warning, Severus leaned forward and wrapped his lips around one aching point, sucking and laving it with his tongue. She thought she would come from the sensation alone. Her breasts were more sensitive than she ever remembered, and his attentions left her panties drenched with desire.

While Severus continued to torment her aching nipples, his hands were busy unzipping her skirt and pushing it down her legs. He finally pushed the blouse from her shoulders and pulled the bra down her arms. Standing back, he had to take a deep breath to steady his shaking. She was so beautiful inside and out, and she still wanted to be with him. He had been so close to losing all of this with his thoughtlessness, and with his selfishness. He knelt before her, grasping her panties and pushing them down her legs. When his fingers brushed the top of her stockings, Severus hooked those too, so that in one sweeping motion, she stood naked before him.

He stood up, drawing her into her arms, and immediately fixed his mouth to hers for a gentle yet heart-stopping kiss. His tongue tangled with Hermione’s as the kiss deepened, his passion screaming at him to possess her, but he retained enough of his good sense to realize that this was a special moment. Unlike previous encounters that had been wild, hot and unrestrained, this one was about loving caresses, tender touches and thorough exploration.

Hermione did not even notice that Severus had removed his clothing until he was pressing her against the bed, urging her to lie down beneath him. The scent of her arousal was all he needed to know that she was ready for him. In a smooth movement, he entered her, gripped tightly in her velvet sheath.

He made a guttural groaning sound at the feel of her wrapped around him. When Hermione arched her back and flexed her pelvis to meet his thrust, Severus was overcome with desire for his witch.


Suddenly, he stopped and wordlessly summoned his wand. Hermione opened her eyes at the lack of movement.

“What is it Severus?” she asked on a sign. “Why did you stop?”

“Contraception charm. If it is going to be effective, I need to cast it before this goes any further.” Hermione thought for a moment before replying.

“As much as I want to have your child, we should wait a little bit; have some time together first.” She smiled into his eyes. “Please cast the charm.”

Severus did, throwing the wand to the floor, and continued to push into Hermione’s silky depths. He could feel his climax thundering through his body, and dropped to his elbows, framing Hermione’s sweet face with his hands.

“I love you. I love you so much that I feel like I may explode.” Severus growled out, trying to hold off a little longer.

Hermione writhed and moaned beneath him. He could feel the familiar flutter of her inner walls, letting him know that she was close.

“That is it dearest. Come for me. Drench me with your juices.”

His command was enough to throw Hermione over the edge, and her body bucked violently as she screamed her release. The delicious feeling of her muscles milking his cock took Severus with her, and he grunted his completion.

‘I love you. I love you.” He kept repeating it over and over. Hermione had to smile. She could sense a tone of desperation in his voice, as though he was trying to convince her of his feelings. Over come with a wave of happiness and fulfilment, Hermione turned her head, pressing kisses on the inside of his lower arm as it cradled her head. Severus continued to hold, his heart pounding loudly and his breathing raged.

“And I love you Severus”, she whispered against his arm.

In that moment, everything was perfect.