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Envy and Manipulations	By : rrabbit Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Ginny Views: 8376 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters from it.... therefore I do not receive any payment for this writing.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
"Do you draw?"

"Not very well."

"Do you play an instrument?"

"No."

"Do you know how to formally dance?"

"A little, I think."

"How many languages can you speak?"

"Um, one," I admit with a red face and Ruth raises her brows as she looks me over.

"Do you sew?"

"No."

"Then what do you do?" she asks and I lick my lips as I stare at the fish on the plate in front of me.

"She writes," Blaise answers for me and I snap him a look as he raises his wine glass to his lips. He smirks at me. "Quite well, actually," he says and I frown.

How would he even know?

"Well, that is something," Ruth says as she sits back in her chair to eye me. "I must say I am rather pleased that you haven't had the proper training of a lady," she adds with a grin. "I am not Narcissa Malfoy. Those staples of femininity do not apply to a woman like me and I must say I find the whole 'accomplished woman' a bore. You should know more than how to sew a cushion and say hello in five different languages to be a success into today's age."

I don't say anything.

"This will be a whole lot of fun," she says with a smile before going back to her food.

This is the first meal we've taken together. After I arrived here, I was shown to my room and I took my meal in there for the night. I didn't have to see anyone until today, when I was called down from my hiding spot to have dinner with their odd little family.

"Tomorrow morning we'll start your lessons," she says as she cuts into the fish thing on her plate. "I have an early breakfast with Monty, but we'll meet in the dining hall at nine thirty, how does that sound?" she asks and I nod.

Like I have any options.

"How is Monty?" Blaise asks, his tone of voice hinting towards the fact that he could care less.

"He is doing perfectly well," Ruth answers, never looking at her son as she takes a sip from her wine glass. From what I've gathered 'Monty' is the new husband. "If you responded to any of his owls, I'm sure you would know that."

"Hm," Blaise says as he winks at me. I quickly look away. "What's the point of trying to build a relationship with the man when we both know he won't be around long enough to care?"

There's a heavy pause in the room and then Ruth takes out her wand and clears Blaise's plate. "It looks like you're done eating, darling. Why don't you go to your room?"

"No," Blaise replies flatly and I feel really awkward so I slump down in my seat again, trying not to look at anyone.

"You look tired," she says in a sugary sweet voice. "Go to bed."

Nobody moves, nobody breathes, and I flick a quick glance to Zabini to catch his reaction. He has his jaw clenched and he's glaring at his mother with a brutal intensity.

She's glaring right back.

"Now," she says and then she blinks at him. "You need to lay down. You look exhausted, my love."

Blaise doesn't move for a few moments and then he scoots his chair back. It scraps against the floor loudly and I watch him with my brows raised as he throws his napkin down on the table and stomps out of the room. When he's gone, the door slams, and I look back at my plate.

Oh, man. I feel like I just watched a child get put in place.

"Lesson number one, Ginevra," she says as she snaps her fingers and the albino house elf appears. "Never let a man talk to you with disrespect. Even if you love them," she says as she orders the elf to bring us two shots of... something called a red devil. "The moment you let them see a weakness, you're done for."

"Oh," that's all I say because I'm an idiot, but I don't know how else to respond.

I've never met a woman like Ruth Davenport before I didn't know how to carry myself.

"How are you liking your room?" she asks as an elf comes back with two shot glasses on a silver tray.

The liquid inside of them is red, and they're on fire.

Literal fire.

"It's lovely," I tell her and it is. It's a large bedroom that's all white, silver, and heavenly... like a room fit for royalty.

"I trust you slept well last night?"

"I guess," I whisper.

Truth is I didn't sleep one fucking wink. I'm too stressed and I can't help but play over every traumatic thing I've witnessed this year... like if I view it enough, it will turn out to be a puzzle that all falls into place.

"It's one of the best bedrooms in the estate," she says as she sighs loudly and hands me one of the shot glasses. "Carmine's sister, Georgina, designed the room herself."

"Carmine is Blaise's father, right?" I ask as I look at the flames dancing on top of the shot.

"Yes," she says as she looks me over. "Just so you know you can go anywhere in this manor," she says as she waves her hand around in the air. "The house is open as well as the grounds. We just ask that you stay inside of the Apparation ward. The Dark Lord was very specific on his restrictions for you. Please do not make me regret being so nice to you."

I nod my head.

"I don't believe you'll find much of interest here," she says as she looks around with her lips pursed in thought. "I've wanted to quit this house for years, but Blaise refuses to move," she rolls her eyes. "Sometimes we must give whining boys what they want, don't we?" she asks and I nod my head because... I think should. "Once he graduates he can have it," she says dismissively. "I've been looking around for an update for ages."

"Oh." Again, that's all I say.

She holds up her flaming red devil shot and urges me to do the same. "To our wonderful winter break," she says as she clinks her glass against mine.

"I'm..." I trail off when she pulls the glass back. "I'm not of age," I mutter as I look at the flaming glass.

"Has that ever stopped you before?" she asks as she downs the flaming liquid in one gulp. I don't say anything. "Come on, one shot won't hurt you. I find this old place gets rather cold in the night and alcohol can warm a system up. Now, down with it," she says as she motions to the shot.

I hesitate a moment before drinking it.

I cough as it goes down and then I make a face because it tasted horrible.

"That a girl," she says with a smug smile. "Feel free to help yourself to my liqueur cabinet as well. I think the drinking age is ridiculous," she says with a laugh and I can't help but think about how much my mother would despise her. "I can't rightly tell the younger people around me not to drink when I did the same thing when I was a teenager."

"Yeah..." My mother would want to kill her right about now...

"Now, tomorrow I think we'll get you a hair cut and then go shopping for a winter wardrobe," she says as I try to shake off the taste of that terrible drink she just made me consume. I resist wiping off my tongue with a napkin. "The Dark Lord has given you a rather hefty allowance and I would hate for that to go to waste."

"Yes," is all I say because I'm too afraid to say anything else.

"So what are your thoughts on him?" she asks, blinking at me as I start fiddling with the napkin on my lap. "The Dark Lord. Not many people have had the honor of having so many private meetings as you have."

"I think he's-"

I stop. I wanted to say he was scary, but I couldn't get the words to roll out.

"It's-"

I wanted to say it was intimidating, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

"I think-"

I wanted to say that I thought he was frightening to be around, but nothing came out. It was like I physically couldn't say anything bad. I took a quick drink of water as she eyed me with her dark brows raised. I remembered the contract I signed and what Draco had told me about it. It would literally bar me from saying bad things about the Dark Lord and our time together.

I would never be able to tell anyone about the horrible things I've seen or the scary things that happened to me.

"It's fine," I end up muttering and she nods before checking her watch.

"Well, look at the time," she says as she stands up. I go to stand as well, but she raises her hand. "Oh no, darling. You stay. Finish your food. I have a prior engagement I have to go to. You understand, don't you?"

"Yeah, sure,'" I say in confusion.

"Now, if you need anything just snap," she says as she snaps her fingers. "And Franklin will help you."

With that, the albino house elf pops back into the room, looking all sad and depressing as it bows at the waist.

"Franklin, you will obey Ginevra like she was one of us, do you understand?" she asks and the elf nods his head. "Enjoy your night, dear," she says as she starts walking out of the room. "Remember, meet me here at nine thirty tomorrow," she says before blowing me a kiss and leaving.

Uh, okay...

The house elf is still there, staring at me like it was waiting for a command and I send him a sideways look. "Um, you can go now..." I say and he bows again before popping away.

I'm left alone in the large dining hall and I start eating the fish again before putting down my fork. I'm really not that hungry and being alone made me realize how big this house was. It wasn't as large as I recall Malfoy Manor being, but it was still bigger than anything I had called home.

I take a sip from my glass again as I look around me, taking in the high ceilings and tapestries of ancient wizards hanging on the walls. This place feels... empty...Empty and cold and... uncomfortable.

Draco's Manor had felt like a proper home, at least.

A home to ridiculously rich people who had way too much money, but still a home...

This place kind of feels like a museum... or a tomb of some sort. A shell of it's former glory days and, after year I had, I don' exactly want want to be alone in a tomb.

I snap my fingers.

Franklin pops in a few seconds later and I give him a little smile.

"Hi, Franklin," I say and he blinks at me. I can tell it's an ancient creature, full of wrinkles and exhausted muscles that sag on his bones. "Would you walk me to my room? I mean, if you're not busy?"

The elf looks curious for half a moment before nodding his head. I stand up and wait for him to follow before we leave the room together. His toe nails tap against the floor as we walk and I try not to look grossed out when I notice them. They're long and thick and... green.

Yuck.

"How long have you worked for the family?" I ask to make conversation and he clears his throat before answering me.

I've never really had a conversation with a house-elf before but Harry always liked Dobby. I could give Franklin a try... gross toe nails aside.

"Since I was born," he says and his voice sounds like it was filtered through a grinder. It was rough on my ears and I crinkle my nose as I look at him.

"How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?" I inquire timidly because I don't know if it's a rude question to ask an elf.

The elf doesn't say anything for a few moments as we start walking up the stairs. "I don't remember," he says after a long time and I frown as I look away.

That sounded sad.

"You work with your family?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything.

I don't say anything.

The conversation dies until we make it to my room. When I get inside, I notice him look around the room curiously with a tilt of his wrinkly forehead. When he spots the bed side table, the table that I moved to the right side of the bed, he goes towards it instantly and starts to scoot it back to the left.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he works.

"Wrong spot," he says and I step in front of him.

"I moved it for a reason," I explain gently and he stops pushing to look up at me. "I sleep on that side," I tell him as I motion to the bed. "I like it on that side better."

It keeps me closer to my wand, honestly.

"The miss likes it on this side," he says as he starts scooting it again like my comfort didn't matter.

"I'm sure Ruth won't mind if I put it on the other side for now." I tell him gently.

He actually looks a little bit mad now and I open my mouth to tell him he can move it if he wants, but someone beats me to it.

"Frank," Blaise snaps and I look over my shoulder in surprise. He's leaning in the door way with his arms crossed. "Stop being a pest and put the damn thing back where she wanted it."

"But the miss-"

"The miss isn't fucking here," he says and the elf tenses up before scooting the night stand back to where I had it.

"I really don't mind," I say because the elf looked really pissed off. I haven't seen one show so much emotion, to be honest. Besides Kreacher and he was off his rocker.

"If you didn't mind, you wouldn't have moved it in the first place," Blaise says as he lights a cigarette with his wand and blows the smoke from the corner of his mouth. "When you're done with that, you can make me a sandwich," he says to the elf and I frown when he pops away.

"I'm pretty sure you could make your own sandwich," I tell him flatly and he laughs as he eyes me from the door way.

"I could, but I won't because I'm rich enough to afford not to."

I sneer at him as I take a seat at the vanity so I can dismiss him. "You always give me reasons not to like you."

He laughs and steps into the room. "You say that like it was an option that you would." I don't say anything to that and he smirks at me. "It's good to see you alive, Weasley. The last time Pansy saw you she was convinced you were done for. There was a whole puddle of blood around you, she said."

I remember the snake bite and recoil at the thought.

"Please leave," I tell him flatly as I look at my reflection.

"Did my mother ditch you already?" he asks as he sits down on my bed. I glare at him. "I would get used to that," he says with a sigh as he blows smoke towards the ceiling. "It's one of her greatest talents."

I roll my eyes and go back to my reflection. I took a bit of care doing my hair today because I knew I would see Ruth and she would be judging me. I shake my head at my reflection. I can be so foolish sometimes. I start taking out the clips and pins I used to keep it up and I hope Zabini will just... leave... so I don't have to talk to him anymore.

"Who was the house elf talking about?" I ask curiously as I think about it because he's making himself at home and obviously not freaking leaving. "When he said 'miss'? He wasn't talking about your mother, was he? She's officially a Mrs... right?"

"He was talking about my aunt," he says tiredly as he lays back on the bed like a lazy cat.

"Georgina?" I ask as I remember his mother saying something about her staying in this room.

He blinks at me and then smiles. "You are informed. Yes, he was talking about her. He was very attached to her, if I remember," he says as he flicks his ashes on the floor. "She drowned him in attention."

"Did she..." I trail off as I face him and look around the room. "She didn't like... die in this room or anything?"

He laughs. I don't think it's funny. "She is still very much alive," he says as he lays back. He still has his shoes on and they're getting mud on the white comforter.

I make a face at it and when he flicks his ashes on the floor again, I stand up.

"Where is she, then?" I ask with my hands on my hips and he shrugs.

He flicks more ashes on the pristine white carpet and I feel my nostrils flare in annoyance...He's making a mess of everything.

Draco would never do this.

"You are getting mud all over the cover," I tell him harshly, unable to hold back and he raises his brows.

"So?"

"So? You weren't raised in a barn," I scold. I go towards him and I throw his legs on the floor. They land with a thump of his heels. "And stop putting your ashes on the ground."

"I wasn't raised in a barn," he says as he laughs at me. "I hear you were," he counters and I blush as he smiles at me. "And, unlike you, we have house-elves."

He puts out his cigarette on the night stand and I feel like punching his perfect looking face in as the smoke dwindles in the air.

"Stop looking so sour," he says with a grin, amused by my angry expression. "If I don't make a mess, then the servants have nothing to do with themselves. I'm just helping the circle of life keep turning."

"You're disgusting," I tell him with arms crossed and he stands up, taking a step closer to me.

I would take a step back but I don't want him to think I'm weak.

"You really don't think that," he says with a smirk.

He goes to touch me, but I finally give in and back away. "Stop," I tell him and he blinks a few times before dropping his hand and stepping back.

He nods his head and I watch with my brows furrowed as he clenches his fists before relaxing. He shakes his head and then he smiles at me again, like everything was fine.

"You know, the beauty about most things in our world," he says as he looks at my wrist where the bracelet Draco had given me rests."Is that there is always a loop hole. Every magic has a counter spell... Every bonding... has an unbinding..."

"Go away," I tell him as I turn my back to dismiss him again.

I don't want to listen to him. He'll just confuse me even more than I already am.

Franklin comes back into the room carrying a ham sandwich and I glance at him as he hands it to Zabini.

"I won't be here for much longer," he says with a fake pout before taking a bite. I go back to the vanity and pick up a brush to pull through my hair so I have something to do instead of hitting him. "In a couple of days I have to leave to go on a hunting trip," he says and I glance at him.

"Are you going with Draco?" I ask, remembering the letter his father had written him and he looks at me.

"Of course," he says softly. "It's his father's retreat. We have to be men and go kill some animals before Christmas."

"That sounds charming."

"Indeed," he says with a sly smirk as he watches me brush out my hair. "It's snowing, did you know that?" he asks curiously as he looks out the window.

"Blaise," I snap as I turn in the chair to look at him. "I don't want to hurt your feelings," I tell him patiently and he laughs.

"It's sweet that you think I possess those," he jokes and I bite my lower lip as I put my hand on the back of the chair to speak earnestly to him.

"Anyways," I continue from his interruption. "Draco is really stressed out right now," I tell him honestly. "I think you know that," I tell him flatly and he sits up on his elbows to watch me more closely. "I don't think it's a very good idea for us to be talking like this," I tell him, motioning to the bed he's laying on. "You know how Draco is," I admit softly. "I don't want to worry him more than necessary."

"You say that like you think I'm trying to seduce you," he says with a sly smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Why would you think such a thing about me?"

"I think you know why," I tell him seriously, thinking over the conversation I had with Draco about how Blaise was attracted to me and how I just led him on.

"How boring you've turned out to be," he says as he stands up and stretches his upper body. "We do have an extensive library on the first floor," he says with a brow raised. "You know, just in case you wanted to research any of those loop holes I told you about."

I roll my eyes as he leaves the room and once I'm sure he's gone, I close the door and go over to my trunk. I carefully open it up. I move aside some clothes and then I stare at the gathering of balls I have hidden there. I pick one up, the one that belongs to my father, and I roll it around in my hands, trying to imagine what I should do with it.

If I can see them, perhaps I can... put it back? I don't even know how that would work, perhaps I should take up that library thing.

I put it back and cover them with clothes when I hear a knock on my door. I glare for a few moments before going towards it and opening it up.

I knew right away who was going to be there and I narrowed my eyes at Zabini. "What?" I sigh loudly and he raises a brow.

"You were being so mean to me that I forgot why I came to bother you in the first place," he says and then he whistles.

I hear the jingling of a bell and I raise my brows as a small black cat trots towards us.

"This is Henry," he says as he picks up the cat and holds him against his chest. "He's my familiar."

"You have a familiar named Henry?" I say flatly and he smirks.

"He's a lot better than the creepy one you've had as of late," he says as he goes to hand the cat to me. I give him a weird look as the cat wiggles in my arms like a worm. "Stop holding him like that," he snaps at me. "Hold him normally."

"Why have I never seen this familiar?" I ask as I hold the cat against my chest, trying to support his body a bit more so Blaise will stop staring at me like I'm going to drop a baby. "You didn't bring him to school."

"I never do. Animal's just get in the way at Hogwarts."

"Why are you showing me this?" I ask as the cat's tail slaps against my arm.

"Company," he says as he itches Henry's head fondly. "My mother rarely ever keeps her appointments, especially early morning ones," he says, giving me a look. "You will be alone a lot this break, I suspect."

"Oh..." I trail off. Was this nice or is this him just trying to play with me? I give him a suspicious look as the fat cat jumps out of my arms and hops over to the center of my bed. "Thanks... I guess."

"You're welcome... I guess," he mocks me with a smirk. "That is all, you can go back to ignoring me," he says before closing my door.

I frown and then turn back to the cat.

It's licking itself and I make a face before going over to the bed and pushing it off. It lands on the floor with a thump and I give it a look as I change into my pj's. Blaise was right, it is snowing and I curl into the bed before pulling out my notebook.

I haven't written anything in ages and made up stories just seem silly now. Especially when my life is ten time more interesting than any play or book.

I wonder...

The Dark Lord is the biggest bastard in the world.

I smile to myself at the sentence. I might be barred from saying anything about him, but it looks like I can write it and writing is definitely something I feel comfortable doing.

Yay for loopholes.

I spend the better part of the evening writing down just about everything that's gone on between me and Tom Riddle that I could remember. Every scary, insane, worrisome detail.

It actually felt good to get it out.

It was therapeutic and I suspect Dr. Carol... if she was still alive... would approve.

Dr. Carol. I forgot about what he did to her and I copy that memory down quickly before I forget.

When my eyes start feeling too heavy, I huddle under the covers and try to find peace enough to go to sleep.

I'm burning up. I throw the covers off of me and turn on my side. I'm still hot and I'm starting to sweat so I take off my sleep pants, leaving me in my knickers and a tank top. When I finally fall asleep, I feel like I'm falling and when I hit the floor I'm back in the chamber.

When I was possessed by Tom Riddle, I barely felt it. It was like I was a puppet being led on strings around the castle doing terrible things and writing messages in blood on the walls of Hogwarts. I was walking barefoot through the castle then, my feet scrapping against the stone floors as I ran my hand along the wall.

My finger tips were red, dipped in blood, and I was humming a song that I've never known before. I felt like flying, I would rather be a bird than slither on my belly all day like a snake and when I got to the tallest most tower I open the window and stand on the ledge. It's very cold and it chills my bones but I could care less.

I imagine I can fly with out the help of a broom. All I need is my magic and I can fly in the clouds, over the lake and through the forest like an eagle... or a Phoenix, where I can catch fire and be born again in the morning.

When I jump, I fall for years until I finally hit the earth... it barely hurts.

I wake at eight and take a quick shower before getting dressed, trying to shake the weird dream off. I have nightmares... I always have them so they shouldn't bother me anymore. I get myself ready and walk down the long stair case as I rub sleep from my eyes. I wish I could just sleep all day, but Ruth did say to meet her at nine thirty and I don't want to make anyone angry.

I take a seat at the dining table and snap for Franklin. He brings me a glass of juice and a witch weekly with out me even asking for it. I read it with tired eyes as I wait for Ruth and I take small sips from my glass as I try not to count the seconds... I end up waiting three hours before Ruth finally shows, wearing a crisp white pant suit with a caramel colored camisole underneath.

"Hello, dear," she sings as she enters the room.

I frown and look at the clock.

"I know I'm running a bit late, but we need to leave," she says and then she looks at my outfit. An old sweater and jeans. "You can't wear that," she says with her lip curling up.

I blush and look down at my outfit. "I thought I was just getting a hair cut..." I mumble under my breath and she clicks her tongue.

"I had to reschedule that," she says as she grabs my arm and starts dragging me out of the room. "We've been invited to brunch at Priscilla Goyle's house. This is such an important step for us," she says and I furrow my brows again as she pulls us down a different hallway. "You have to look presentable."

I don't say anything and when she pulls us into a large bedroom, I stop for a moment and look around me. It's even grander than my own, with a golden bed with swans etched into the head board. I fold my arms over my stomach as she goes to her closet and I watch her back as she starts throwing things behind her.

"Go ahead and take off those... clothes," she says like she hesitated calling what I was wearing such.

I pause a second before unbuttoning my jeans as she picks out a good outfit for me. I take off the pants and fold them against the bed before taking off the sweater, leaving me in the pink tank top I put on over my bra.

"Here," she says as she pulls out a burgundy sweater dress that has a scoop neckline. "Put this on," she says before going over to a set of drawers and pulling out a set of black tights. "Do you have any tall leather boots?"

"Well... no..." I say as I quickly put on the form fitting dress. It's a little on the tight side, but because it's sweater material, it lets me breathe. She throws the tights at me next as she goes to another door. When she opens that I see another walk in closet... full of shoes.

Jeez.

I shimmy into the tights quickly because it seems like I can't doddle and she throws a few things aside before pulling out a pair of suede tall boots with a two inch heel. "These should work," she says as she walks back towards me.

She forces me down on a chair as she starts brushing through my hair and I look at the size on the bottom of the boot.

"These are too small," I admit in a small voice. "I wear a whole size larger than this."

"Make it work, Ginny," she says as she tugs on my hair, twisting it and pulling it. "You need to make scarifies. I haven't been invited to the Goyle brunch in years. I won't get kicked out just because you look like a ragamuffin."

I blush again and force my foot into the too small boot.

It hurts my toes, but I don't say any thing as she twists and clips my hair up. After she's finished with my hair, she scurries to do my make up and she picks out some chunky jewelry for me to wear because she said it was very in 'vogue' right now. All the rage in Paris she had said... like I fucking cared.

I roll my eyes when her back is to me and then she sighs loudly before finally deciding I don't look like a hobo anymore.

"That will have to do," she says as she looks me over from head to toe, taking in every minuet detail. She sighs again and shakes her head. I look away, ashamed that she thinks I look so bad. "Let's go," she says as she checks her delicate golden watch. "We're going to be late."

Shocker.

I let myself get pulled away again and the albino house elf is waiting for us by the door, holding two fur lined cloaks. She hands me the black one as she puts on the purple one. I sneeze loudly before she drags me outside to get to the App zone.

"This is so exciting," she says, giving me a smile.

My nose is running and I nod my head in agreement before sniffing loudly. She gives me a disgusted look before lifting her wand and Apparating us.

We land in front of a rather large white gate and she presses a button at the center of it... which I guess works as a door bell. After a few moments out in the cold, a house elf shows up to lead us to where we need to go. We didn't enter the main house, which I thought was strange. Instead we were lead to a small building behind it that was made up of purple colored glass... kind of like a greenhouse of sorts and it was full of exotic looking plants.

Inside, it's actually pretty warm, so I take off the cloak and hand to the houseelf with a grateful smile before it pops away.

"Oh, Ginevra and Ruth have arrived," I hear a woman say.

I sneeze into my hand again and Ruth gives me another miffed look before smiling and walking towards the group of well dressed women who are all sitting around wrought iron tables full of tea and small finger sandwiches and cakes.

A large woman with dark eyes stands up to receive us. She gives Ruth a hug and then she turns to me with a smile. "Why, you must be Ginevra Weasley. We have heard so much about you," she says, her eyes growing gentler as she speaks. "I'm Priscilla," she says as she holds out her hand for me to shake. I take it and we shake for a moment before she offers me a seat.

I sit quickly, my feet sighing in relief as I do so.

"I believe you know my son, Gregory?" she says and I nod my head. I kind of knew Gregory Goyle, not well enough to talk about him, though. "Not the smartest one of the bunch, God bless him, but he is a sweet boy."

I almost snort at that. Gregory Goyle is not sweet.

"Well, let's start with introductions," she says as she waves across the table.

I knew most of the women already from the times I was at Malfoy Manor, the only new face was Camille Parkinson... Pansy's mother. She was a stick of a woman who looked far older than the others and her hands shook as she brought the tea cup up to her thin lips. It wasn't what I was expecting from a parent of Pansy, but I couldn't really judge. There was a war going on and I couldn't rightly look down upon anyone.

Narcissa Malfoy was, of course, the classiest looking woman at the table and when Ruth sat down at the empty chair by her side, she raised a delicate blond eyebrow before turning towards me.

"Ginevra, you look lovely," she says as I grab one of the sandwiches. I'm starving. I didn't eat breakfast because I thought that I would eat it with Ruth... but that didn't happen.

"Thanks," I say before biting into the food. I glance around me quickly as the women clatter and chit chat with one another.

I'm the only young person here and I swallow a large bite uncomfortably when I realize that.

"You have lost a lot of weight since the summer holiday," she says as she looks me over with a slight frown.

"How did you do it?" Goyle's mom plants herself in our conversation over her tea cup. "I've been on every diet and every weight loss potion under the sun and have yet to lose the pregnancy weight," she says as she pats her round stomach.

Pregnancy weight? Really? Goyle is seventeen years old and she is way too old to have any more children. She's just a large woman who's in denial about it.

"Stress," I mutter honestly as I nibble at the corners of the sandwich... it's not very filling... it's just a cucumber and mayonnaise thing that feels like I'm eating air.

It's not very appetizing, but I'll take what I can get.

"What do you have to be stressed about?" Ruth says as she picks up the tea cup from the saucer in front of her. I finish off the sandwich and grab another."You have been the luckiest girl in the world as of late."

"It's hard being sixteen," Mrs. Malfoy says as she folds her hand on her lap. "With so many expectations," she says and I look at her in surprise as she smiles at me. "Is it not?"

"Well, I will say that I do not envy kids these days," An older woman with gray hair purses her lips as she continues. "All those slutty clothes and parties," she shakes her head and I look back at Mrs. Malfoy. "And drugs! Oh, I hear that kids are eating drugs like candy now-a-days. Who ever heard of such a thing?"

Mrs. Malfoy's reactions are hilarious and her lip curls back for a moment before she switches the subject.

"Of course, there's a war going on as well," she says, her voice sounding pleasant and sweet as her right hand plays with her jewelry, some long silver necklace with blue stones hanging off of it. "That can change a generation of kids."

She reminds me of Draco, actually, and I want to be closer to her just for that fact.

I finish the sandwich and then I sneeze again. I need to blow my nose, actually, so I excuse myself with my napkin so I can do it out of the way. I hide among some purple flowers and start blowing my nose rather loudly as my eyes water. I kind of feel miserable right now and my throat is starting to feel itchy. I think I have a head cold.

It makes me think of the flying dream I had last night... I shake the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and bunch up the napkin when someone approaches.

"Are you sick?"

It's Narcissa Malfoy and I glance at her in surprise. "I think so," I tell her, my nose all stuffed up, making my voice sound nasally.

"That is one terrible thing we have in common with muggles," she says as she opens her clutch to hand me a real tissue. I take it thankfully and blow again. "There is no cure for the common cold."

"It just started," I say as I blink and blow my nose again. "I was feeling fine yesterday."

"Yes," she nods her head and then a silence falls between us as she studies my face.

"There will be a battle soon," she says quickly and I look at her with my brows raised at the blunt way she's speaking. "The Dark Lord has his strong hold over England, but he must kill Harry Potter to be successful. He was foiled by a child once and his reign could not survive it again."

"Oh," I say because... I can never think of the right thing to say.

She takes a step closer to me and then she grabs my forearm with her slim hand, looking seriously into my eyes. "I know that Draco is planning something," she says and my heart starts thumping. "He is an ambitious boy and Lucius has put ideas into his head..." she trails off, shaking her head before continuing. "I care for him too much to allow him to be so foolish," she says seriously. "He puts weight in your opinion."

"I don't know about that," I whisper and she tightens her hand around my arm.

"Tell him that he doesn't have to do anything. Tell him that war is better left to the adults and that he is far too young to go up against Lord Voldemort."

"Why can't you just tell him all of that?" I ask gently because Draco wouldn't listen to me. He has his plans and he's going to see it through... he's made that more than clear.

She gives me a sad smile. "He is headstrong and he rarely listens to me, or his father for that matter. He's good at hiding things but I know... I've known for a while that he has been unhappy with the Dark Lord. We all have," she whispers as she looks behind her. "He's not thinking straight. It is better to be on the winning end of things if you want to survive and the Dark Lord will win," she says flatly, her eyes looking deadly. "Our ties are too deep, we're too close in the circle... to be found out that our son is a traitor will ruin us."

"But what if... What if he doesn't win?" I ask as I think of Harry and how brave he is.

"I have looked at it from every angle," she assures me. "Lucius seems to think that there's a chance, but I can not throw out logic. The Dark Lord is the most powerful wizard in the world," she says flatly. "Dumbledore is dead, and the fate of the wizarding world is on the shoulders of a seventeen year old boy who doesn't have an army behind him. I will not allow my son to go down in flames like the Order."

I swallow hard and look down, trying not to give away too much.

"If you aren't pleased with Voldemort," I whisper as she looks behind her again. "Then why are you following him? I'm sure the Order would have accepted-"

"Just because we don't want to follow a madman does not mean that our principals have changed," she tells me sharply and I snap my mouth shut. "It's easier to go with the devil you know."

"If...If Voldemort wins," I whisper as I bring my hand up to my mouth so I can chew on my nails. "I will have to be with him," I admit in an embarrassed voice. "I can't... I don't want to live my life like that."

"And I am sorry for that," she says seriously as she gives me a sad look. "I truly am, and if there could be another way out for you, I swear I would condone it. I had thought that you would be good for Draco in the beginning, I didn't fully understand the Dark Lord's attachment to you. I know now that it's deeper than I imaged and the Dark Lord will not be swayed in his opinion. For whatever reason he will not let you go willingly and because of that, scarifies have to be made. I would prefer my son have a broken heart than be dead. Do you agree with that?" she asks.

I think on it as well. I don't want Draco to die. I slowly nod my head.

"I implore you, please speak to my Draco. Please tell him to cease whatever he's planning." I blink back a few tears as I think about what that would mean for me. The life I would be forced to live with the Dark Lord always near. "Don't cry," she whisper as she touches my shoulder. "Your life won't be so terrible," she says honestly. "You will not want for anything, you will always be protected, and since the Dark Lord is not like a typical man... I'm sure his needs will not be tedious on you."

I sniff loudly and bring the tissue up to my nose again.

"And perhaps Harry Potter will succeed," she whispers again, clutching my shoulder. "But it can't be my son. It can't be Draco," she says seriously. "If you were a mother, you would understand what I ask of you."

I don't say anything.

"Please say that you will talk to him," she says, clutching my shoulder. "Please say that you will do what's best and not let him offer up his life for his foolish pride."

I hesitate a second before answering. "I-I'll talk to him," I say gently and she smiles.

"Good," she says, offering me a small hug. "You are a dear girl, Ginevra."

That was the end of the conversation and when we went back to the table I found that my appetite had been killed yet again. I sat and stared at my plate for the rest of the brunch as Ruth became the lively center of attention...that was until Bellatrix Lestrange showed up.

I nearly dropped my tea cup when she was lead into the room by the frightened looking house-elf. She was wearing a complicated looking dress made of green velvet and her hair was done up in wild curls about her head.

A weird hush fell over the women in the room and I suspected that she wasn't actually invited.

"Am I late?" she called as she took off her riding cloak and dumped it on the poor elf's head. "Sorry for my tardiness, but I was detained. I have an important job, you see," she says, her dark eyes growing wide with mirth as she said the word.

When I looked around the table at the obviously uncomfortable guests I realized that it was meant to be an insult. I doubt anyone else at this table had a job.

"Bella, we're so glad to see you," Mrs. Malfoy stood with a wry smile on her face. "Come and have a seat," she says, motioning to an empty seat across from me.

Bellatrix eyes it for a few moments before sending a sly smirk to the other women. "I hope I'm not intruding," she says as she walks towards the seat. Her pointed shoes tapping against the marble floor with each step. "My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail."

"Of course, you are always welcome," Mrs. Goyle smiles, her lips tight and unforgiving. "Any sister of Narcissa's is a sister of ours."

I guess I didn't really realize that Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange were related, but when I looked closely at the dark haired witch as she sat across from me, I could see the resemblance, and with a worried frown I could also see a bit of Draco. That kind of disturbed me in a way and when Bellatrix's dark eyes turned to mine, I looked away quickly.

She had killed Sirius, after all, and I could never forgive someone for that.

"I had no idea Miss Weasley would be joining your little tea club, Cissa," she says as she grabs a cucumber sandwich and watches me closely. "Are we trying to get into his good graces?"

I knew immediately who she was talking about and I started biting my nails again, that was, until Ruth smacked my hand and scolded me for it.

"I doubt a brunch among friends has any sway in what the Dark Lord thinks," Narcissa replies coldly as she picks up her tea cup. "Ginevra will be introduced into society next year and it's in everyone's best interest that she be made as comfortable as possible coming from her unfortunate upbringing."

My cheeks turned red at what she had said and when she glanced at me I saw that her words were not said with malice... but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt my feelings.

"Unfortunate indeed," Lestrange mused as she dipped her finger into the tea cup before her and started stirring with her fingernail. "I believe all of your attempts at sucking up are in vain, I'm afraid."

As she stirred her tea, I could see the Dark Mark just under her sleeve and it sent a chill down my spine.

I sneezed again, loudly, and everyone looked at me as I tried to wipe the snot from my nose quickly.

This was just a perfect time to have a cold.

"The Dark Lord cares nothing of society and its silly rules. All he cares about is loyalty and power with in pureblooded families," Bellatrix says as she looks me over, her eyes resting on the bracelet Draco had given me as I try to stop my nose from running. When her eyebrows raise in question after seeing it, I quickly put my hand on my lap.

"I find it very strange that you pretend to know what the Dark Lord cares about," Mrs. Malfoy countered after taking a delicate sip of her tea. "Everyone knows how dangerous that can be. Especially you."

That must have been a sore subject and I saw Bellatrix Lestrange's eyes light with fire as she glared at her sister. "Indeed very dangerous. I wonder though," she says as she looks at me again before glancing at her sister. "Why Miss Weasley is wearing the bracelet I clearly remember Lucius givingyou on your wedding day." she adds and everyone looks at me. I look at my lap like the coward that I am. "That is odd, don't you think? Especially considering how the Dark Lord put Draco under surveillance for being far too attached to his mission," she says, giving me a sly look.

"I find nothing strange about it," Mrs. Malfoy says flatly. "Draco was asked to look after Ginevra and that is just what he did."

"Looked after her quite well it seems," she adds, looking me over. "Why give her such a valued family heirloom? I recall your husband making quite a big deal about it when you lost it right after the marriage. Do you remember?" she asked with a serpentine smile. "How he raved at you? How he forced you to go back to the beach and find it because it had been his mother's. Do you remember how upset you were... you stayed with me and Rodoplus for three days because of his anger."

"I remember that all quite well as I'm sure you remember what spells are on it," Narcissa snaps, the tops of her cheeks dotting with pink blush in her anger. "I had ceased wearing it ages ago," she adds, sparing me a glance. "And Draco must have taken it from my vanity, but it has served his purpose. Miss Weasley could have disappeared with her older brother, following Potter in hiding, or she could have done a million other things that would have been disastrous to his master plan... but because of my son and his cunning she has stayed right where the Dark Lord needed her to be. Because of my son, we know what Potter has been planning and where he's going next, and because of Draco she has seen the light and turned her loyalty to him."

Bellatrix laughs, it's high pitched and hurts my ears. "Loyalty?" She spits the word out. "You think the little Weasley blood traitor is loyal. Fear and threats do not a loyal follower make," she adds, giving me a ghastly smile showing me her rotten teeth.

I doubt Azkaban had much of a dental plan.

"Then what does, pray I ask?" Mrs. Malfoy asks with a sharp eyebrow raised.

This is really uncomfortable and everybody else seems to be thinking the same thing because they're all averting their eyes and pretending like this fight isn't going on right in front of them.

"Belief," she answers. "Belief in his power and the all knowing nature of his intellect." I would have laughed if I was braver but I'm not. Instead I sneezed again. "Belief in the purity of blood and the hatred of muggles and their disgusting way of life. Belief in a greater tomorrow where witches and wizards can reclaim what is rightfully theirs by birthright." She slightly stands up and bends over the table like she was giving a speech to a thousand. "Belief that the superior races of the world should rule all others. Belief that the Dark Lord is master of all magic and should be honored as such."

Master of all magic? Are you kidding me?

"Belief in his reign and his rule and his absolute power over everyone and everything!" She slammed her fist against the table, and all the tea cups clinked with the vibration.

No one said anything after her rant and a very uncomfortable silence fell among the brunch guests as Bellatrix worked to control her breathing. It had become frenzied during her little speech and I half feared she might take out her wand and start flinging fireworks to make it more of a show.

"I have seen his power," I say to the shocked and silent room.

I figure now is a better time than any to lie about something... to get the crazy person off my back... off of Draco's.

"I may come from a family of blood traitors," I add, almost chocking on the disgusting word as it left my lips. "But it's a pure line none the less. I have seen the Dark Lord's greatness first hand and I must say that my attitude has changed to favor his... designs for the future."

Bellatrix's eyes narrowed at the lie and then she tilted her head as I glanced at her.

"Don't call me a blood traitor again," I say bravely, hoping that the memory will linger in her mind for the Dark Lord to see. "I am not a traitor to my bloodline any more than you are a traitor to yours."

Silence fell again and when I glanced at Narsicca, she was eying me closely, like she was waiting for me to slip up and make a mistake.

"Well," Ruth said after a lifetime of silence. "That was intense," she added and the other women laughed nervously. "Let's get back to this brunch, shall we?"

I spent the rest of the brunch tearing my napkin under the table, trying not to give anything away as Bellatrix's dark eyes watched my every movement.

It's very unnerving to be under the surveillance of such an evil woman, but even more unnerving was the moment that I looked up and caught her smiling at me.

It took all that I had to look at the woman who had tortured Neville's parents into insanity, who had killed Sirius Black and countless others... it took every brave bone in my body to smile back.

Then I sneezed.

The week after the Goyle brunch was full of shopping, hair cuts, pedicures, and late night dinners. I wasn't receiving much lady 'training' like I was expecting. Most of my time was spent listening to Ruth talk about herself while I was being poked and primed until I looked up to her standards... and the rest of my time was spent waiting on her.

She was constantly late, like Blaise had said, and I had plenty of time to go through the library with Henry by my side like the loyal pet he was turning out to be.

I rarely saw Blaise and he left a few days after I arrived to go hunting with Draco... And as for Draco, I haven't heard one damn thing from him either. I can't stop thinking about what Narcissa said to me. Maybe she's right. Maybe I should just take one for the team. I could save a lot of lives because it wasn't just Draco's well being that was on the line. It was Blaise, and Pansy, and Daphne and countless others who had been helping him through the year.

It gave me a headache just thinking about it.

I run my hand over the silk ruffled shirt I'm currently wearing, wondering what would happen if I spilled my drink on it. The shopping was getting a little out of hand, actually. We went out just about every day and Ruth always told me that I needed to take advantage of the sizable bank account the Dark Lord allowed me while I had the chance because I never knew when that privilege would go away.

I hardly cared about the clothes. In fact, most of them were a little on the revealing side with low necklines and slimmer cuts. I was uncomfortable in most of the things I was forced to wear but I didn't have much of a choice. Not when she would look at me like I was little more than a stain on the wall if I was wearing anything less than par.

The third day, Ruth came into my room in the middle of the night, half way drunk and laughing as she opened my trunk and started to go through my clothes. I was in the final, bad, stages of my cold and I stayed in bed for most of the day.

"These are all tragic," she said as I ran over to her to stop her.

I didn't care much for my own clothes besides the basic attachment one would feel to their things, but I had those souls hidden towards the bottom and her finding them was the last thing that I needed.

"We shall give them away," she sang as she threw sweaters and homemade dresses over her shoulder.

I scrambled to gather them up and my body ached from my sickness.

There were a few things I refused to part with.

Everything my mother ever made me... .every Christmas sweater, every terrible hat, every summer dress... I held onto those for dear life and Ruth rolled her eyes before saying that I could keep them as long as I didn't wear them in public.

I nodded in agreement and watched as she called for a house-elf to bag up the rest of the wardrobe. "You won't be needing any of these things," she had said, waving her hand to the servant as it rummaged through my trunk.

I was a nervous wreck, red faced with fever as the creature dumped out all of my clothes to sort through. Thankfully... by some miracle... the souls were saved and I snapped the lid shut and sat on top of it as she continued on her rampage with the chest of drawers I was using for my under things.

She threw away all of my underwear. Every cotton knicker and every loyal bra was just thrown in a bin like they didn't matter.

"How do you ever expect to feel like a lady in any of those things?" she had said in distaste as she picked up a pair of white cotton knickers that I had... embarrassingly, for a while... but they worked and they didn't have holes in them! "We'll buy new ones tomorrow," she added flippantly before throwing it into the bin with the others.

I was kind of sad to see them go. Some of those were my comfort knickers and my once a month because they cover everything panties... But she assured me that I would buy more than I could ever need.

And we did.

We bought chests full of boy shorts, hipsters, thongs, bikinis, high cut, low cut... full coverage... every different cut of panties under the sun in every color and pattern imaginable. In silk, lace, and cotton. Then hours were spent on bras. Push up, strapless, colorful, skin colored... all of them sexy and all of them new. She made me buy new sleep wear as well because she detested the sleep pants and ratty old t-shirts I seemed to favor.

"You must go to bed looking good," she said as she threw piles of silk nighties at me. "Silk is good against your skin. You should always sleep in it," she told me after throwing a peach colored robe on top.

It was exhausting being with her all the time. She ran at high speeds and rarely stopped for a break.

"Ginerva?" I blink out of the memories and I pet Henry's head as he sleeps on my lap. I've been spending my time in their small library, trying to find anything and everything about souls detached from the body.

I wasn't having much luck.

"Yes?" I say as I look at Ruth standing in the doorway.

"Come. I want to show you something."

"Are we going shopping again?" I ask as I stand up, letting Henry jump to the ground.

Ruth shakes her head and I pick up the cat to take with me as we walk towards the basement. "Where are we going?" I ask timidly as we start heading down the cement stairs.

It smells like the chamber, all damp and musty.

"I'm going to give you some very vital information," she says as I hold Henry a little closer to my heart. "This is very important. Every woman needs to have this collection. You should never rely on anyone else for your happiness," she says as she looks at me

I don't know what she's talking about.

The basement is just a large open room with a low ceilings and yellow hanging lights. At the end of the room is a black cabinet built into the wall and in front of that is a large cauldron with a stirring spoon resting inside of it.

A witches lair if there ever was one.

"Potions are my specialty," she says as she takes a key from her pocket and she opens the cabinet with a twist of the lock. "I've mastered a few of them over the years."

Inside are rows and rows of small purple bottles that have yellow labels on the front of them. I furrow my brows worriedly as she takes out a small velvet bag from one of the shelves.

"What's that for?" I ask as she taps her long fingers along the bottles, making them click.

"I'm giving you a starter kit," she says with a grin as she picks one of them up. "This, is birth control," she says as she puts it in the bag.

I open my mouth to tell her I'm already covered with that, but I stop myself. I shouldn't rely on Draco for my reproductive needs. Henry jumps out of my arms and I watch as he runs up the stairs again, back to safety. Traitor, I think bitterly before turning back to Ruth.

"This one," she says as she picks up another. "Will make your boyfriend... or husband... sick," she says and I make a face that she laughs at. "They can be persistent. If you're not in the mood just slip this into their drink. Trust me, once you're married you will be grateful for it."

"Thanks?"

"And this, is for the opposite. It will stir a man's libido. Men will do ridiculous things if they want to have sex with you."

Inappropriate.

"This is a love potion," she says as she puts it in the bag. "Use that sparingly. It wears off after a while and it makes the drinker... very violent if the dosage is wrong. Get what you want and then leave. They'll never know what hit them," she says.

Right.

"This is to get rid of pregnancy," she says, showing me the label so I'll remember. "You should never have a child you don't want. It's a chain that will bind you forever," she says softly before putting it into the bag.

Nice.

"This one is the most important," she says as she hands it to me.

"What is it?" I ask because I don't recognize the name on the front.

"It's poison," she says. "A slow killer. Put this in their drink for two weeks and they'll be dead as a door nail. The beauty of it is that it weakens their magic," she says as I turn it over to read the ingredients. "So they can't fight back even if they wanted to."

The words were familiar to me... this was the potion I had seen written down in Draco's notebook.

This was the potion that killed Rookwood.

"Mrs!" an elf popped into the room and I jumped, nearly dropping the potion in my surprise as the small creature bowed at the waist. "Master Blaise is back from his hunting trip!" it says.

"Good, go and tell him we'll be there to greet him momentarily."

She looks back to me and takes my hand.

"The world is big scary place for a girl," she says gently, being sweeter to now than she has ever been. "Your fate is very stressful, so keep this near," she says, pushing the bag into my hands. "Use it."

"Thanks..." I trail off, not sure what I'm thankful for.

When we leave the basement we find Blaise in the front hallway, shaking off his cloak from the snow that lingered there while Henry weaves himself around his legs. "How was it?" Ruth asks with a hand on her hip as I finger the velvet bag.

Blaise shrugs. "As good as it ever is," he says.

Ruth goes up to her son and I watch as she takes his shoulders and kisses his cheek. "Happy Birthday, baby," she says with a smile and I raise my eyebrows. "You've been getting a lot of owls," she adds. "I left all the letters and parcels in your room if you want to go through them."

"Thanks," he says flatly and then he looks at me.

"Happy birthday," I say automatically and he snorts a little before heading towards the stairs and jogging up with his hands in his pockets.

"He can get so morose," Ruth says as she shakes her head. "Anyways," she says as she snaps for a house elf. "I think we'll start your dancing lessons tomorrow. We've been invited to the Malfoy Christmas party so you must learn to dance," she says as she commands the elf to bring her cloak. "Keep Blaise company. He always acts like such a girl when he comes back from that hunting trip," she says as she rolls her eyes.

With that she was gone and I hesitated a moment before going up to my room. Henry was on my bed and I smiled at him before going over my trunk and hiding the velvet bag inside.

It was an odd gift to be given.

I picked up Henry after the bag was hidden and walked towards Blaise's room. If anyone could be sympathetic about being ditched on your birthday-it was me, but when I went to knock on his door, I heard a female voice.

It was Pansy.

"Nothing much has changed," I heard her sigh and I put the cat down so I could press my ear to the door. "My mother is back from rehab," she adds and I think of her thin mother who looked worse for the wear at the the brunch. "But I caught her putting vodka in her juice this morning so I doubt it helped anything."

"Well," Blaise says as I press my ear a little closer to the door. "You can't win them all," he says and I imagine he's smirking.

"How is living with Ginny Weasley?" she asks and my ears turn red at the mention of my name.

"I hardly know," he says and there's shuffling inside of the room. What are they doing? "I've been gone."

"Yes," she says. "You're not... you're not trying anything with her, are you?" she asks and my cheeks heat. "I've seen the way you look at her sometimes," she adds. What way does he look at me? "You know Draco will murder you."

"I am well aware of that," he snaps. "I don't need you meddling into my personal affairs."

"He loves her, Blaise. You know he does no matter what he says and he will literally kill you if you turn her against him. He's getting pretty scary about it, actually."

He snorts and I figure he's smirking. "I was just with Malfoy for a week. You don't think I haven't heard an earful from him? If you find that you can't stop talking about it, then leave."

She doesn't say anything for a while and then I hear... noises that I can readily identify as sex noises.

Ugh.

I shake my head in disgust before going back to my room. That's what I get for trying to be nice to him. I look outside. There's a thin lair of snow on the ground and I put on my snow boots and thick sweater so I can take a walk to clear my head. I pull out my notebook and a pencil before I grab a red knit hat that my mother had made me. I pull it over my head before jogging down stairs to get my cloak.

Once outside in the cold, I pull the hat down a little further to ward off the chill. The hat has ear flaps and toggles... so I know it's ridiculous but I like wearing it. It makes me feel like I'm back home... it makes me feel like things could be normal again if I pray hard enough.

The snow crunches under my feet and I walk towards the building that houses their indoor pool for the winter. There's a small archway by it that's home to a swing that I suspect must be a good spot to look out over the grounds in the summer judging by its randomness in the courtyard. I brush off the snow from the bench and take a seat. I look out over the horizon as I sway the swing forward and I give the sky a thoughtful look before opening my notebook.

I've been writing almost non stop since I got here. I decided to keep track of what's happened to me this year, starting from my meeting with Draco at Folk hills at the beginning of our courtship. I'm hoping it will help me make sense of it all and maybe help out when I have to retell this story to my family or my friends after this whole thing's is over... I hope if turns out that way... I hope I still have family and friends after this to tell my story to.

I doubt half of them would believe it, to be honest.

I pick up the pencil and start writing as the cold air bites at my cheeks.

Time passes and my fingers become numb so I pack up and head inside again, tucking my notebook under my arm as I seek warmth from the house. When I go back to my room, I notice Blaise's door is open so I bite my lower lip and turn my steps towards his doorway.

"Hey," I say as I peak my head in his room. Pansy isn't here anymore and I sigh in relief because I didn't want to walk into anything like... that.

"Hey," he counters with a brow raised. He's laying on his bed, reading a magazine and I blush when I see that he has his shirt off.

"Happy birthday," I tell him softly and he sits up, putting the magazine on his nightstand.

There are a stack of gifts and unopened letters on his writing desk and I send them a look before going back to him.

"Yes, it is a rather boring affair isn't it?" he says as he looks around his room with a sigh. "I just don't have it in me to start a party right now." I don't say anything as I linger in the doorway. "Did my mother come back?" he asks and I shake my head, feeling bad for him. "Figures," he mutters to himself.

"How was the hunting trip?" I ask because I don't want to ask about Pansy. That would be like admitting I was spying on him. "Your mother said you get sad after you come home from it."

Well, I think she actually said that he acts like a girl, but I didn't want to tell him that.

"It's a father-son hunting trip," he says with a brow raised. "And I'm pretty sure it's her fault I'm the only one with out a father there." That was kind of depressing, and I don't say anything as I look down at my feet. "I didn't speak to Malfoy that much," he says and my eyes snap to his. "I know that was your next question. That's the only reason you seek out my company."

"That's not true," I half lied as I stepped into his bedroom with Henry hot on my heels. "I didn't know today was your birthday," I tell him gently.

"It hardly matters," he says flatly as he goes to his desk and he picks up the long sleeved thermal he has resting there.

He puts it on as I play with the toggles on my hat I have yet to take off. All that I can think about is how horrid my birthday this past summer was because my whole family was so worried about Ron and his friends that they left me alone the whole day... I had to seek comfort in Malfoy who made it one of the best birthdays I had ever had.

There was no earth shattering news that would keep Ruth from Blaise today.. she just wanted to leave...

I wouldn't want Ruth to be my mother.

"I have a gift for you," I tell him as I take off the hat. He looks at me surprise as he sits at the foot of his bed. "I know it's silly and last minute," I tell him as I walk towards him. I hand him my hat. "But my mother made it for me," I explain to him as he looks at it with his brows up in surprise. "It's one of the only things I own that means something to me."

"You didn't have to give me anything," he says as he plays with one of the toggles. "You were just wearing it a second ago. I can spot an 'oh shit' present when I see one," he says as he goes to hand it back to me. "You don't owe me a present, Weasley. Today is just another day and I won't take the weird looking homemade hat just because you feel bad for me."

"Think of it as a thank you," I tell him as I push it back to him. "For letting me hang out with Henry," I say as I look at the cat, curled up on the rug. "You were right. I spend more time with him than your mother... and it's not weird looking," I defend with a pout. "I think it looks kind of cool."

"Cool?" Blaise counters as he holds it up. "Now, I know that's a lie."

"Okay, so I don't... but it still has meaning... and I want you to have it even if you don't wear it."

He smiles a little and puts the hat beside him on the bed. "Thank you," he says as he looks into my eyes. "You are far too sweet to be mixed up in all of this," he says softly and I furrow my brows. "But no matter," he says as he stands up and walks back to his desk. "Would you like to play chess?" he asks as he takes out a kit from his drawer. "I find myself rather bored."

"Um, yeah okay."

I wait for him to set up the board by his fireplace and when he's finished, he pats the chair across from his. I walk over and take a seat, waiting for him to make the first move.

"I need a drink," he mumbles before snapping his fingers.

He makes a house-elf bring us alcohol first, of course, and when I give him a bemused look he tells me that it's his birthday so being drunk is in the cards.

I cautiously take the glass of wine from the shaking house-elf and thank him before turning back to the board.

"All the stuff you force the house-elves to do, you could easily do on your own," I scold him and he smirks.

"But I don't have to. That's the beauty of it."

I roll my eyes and take a sip from my wine as the fire burns behind us. I enjoy chess to a moderate degree and, as we started playing, I was glad for the break from the loneliness I always felt and the vapid disregard of Ruth. We rarely talked into the hour and I stared at his face as he studied the board for each future move.

"Are you sad that your Mother didn't stay here?" I ask gently and he glances at me. "Since it's your birthday?"

He shrugs. "I hardly care," he admits. "It's not like I take pleasure in her company anyways." I frown at him and when he looks at me again, he laughs. "Stop looking at me like I'm a wounded puppy, Ginny," he says. "I'm the most handsome wizard in all of England and I have money. I do not need that look from you."

"Are you doing anything tonight?" I ask as he takes one of my pawns.

"I'm doing it right now," he says, giving me a sly smile that I frown at.

"I doubt that," I click my tongue at him. "I find it hard to believe a guy like you would spend your birthday playing chess with me."

"Too true," he nods his head and drinks his glass. "You are boring."

Jerk.

I lick my lips and move my knight. Then I glance at him again. I wanted to avoid bringing up Draco because I knew that was all that I talked about with him... but I really couldn't help it. My thoughts were too deep.

"When you said..." I lick my lips as he moves a piece on the chess board. "When you said that thing about your Mom liking men young," I say and he looks at me. "What did you mean?"

"I meant she likes to fuck younger guys," he said bluntly and my face blushed at the admission.

"No, I meant... when you said... ask your boyfriend. Why did you say that?"

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't answer even though I know he clearly heard me and I put my wine glass down.

"Would you still follow Draco if you weren't bonded to him?" I ask as he looks over the chessboard with his fingers on his lips.

"I'm not bonded to Draco," he says as he orders his next move.

The admission surprises me and I furrow my brows. "But you said..."

"I said you weren't the only one bonded to him," he cuts me off. "I never said I was."

"But... Why do you do as he says then?" I ask seriously and he finally looks at me .

"Maybe I believe in the cause," he says with a rueful grin and I frown. Then he sighs. "Draco is a powerful wizard who will be very influential one day," he admits. "I would like to be a part of that. Even though he's as mean as hell, he does have his strong points."

"But the Dark Lord..."

"The Dark Lord lost my vote when he made it known that all witches and wizards with disabilities would be sent to internment camps and eventually exterminated," he says as I think of Neville's parents and his worry about them.

I thought that was very good of him, but I couldn't understand why he would care.

"Why does that specific thing bother you so much?" I ask quietly.

"My Aunt is in a camp right now," he says as he moves another piece on the board. "Georgina. You're staying in her room right now."

"Oh..."

"She was tortured under Voldemort's regime during the first war. She was a blood traitor," he says, glancing me. "Like you."

"Don't call me that," I whisper and he smirks.

"Anyways, she wasn't made totally bonkers, but the prolonged torture did leave a lasting mark on her mind. She was like a child after that," he says as he frowns. "She was a friend to me when I was small," he admits.

"I'm sorry," I tell him honestly. "I didn't know."

"It doesn't matter," he says. After a long pause he starts again. "My mother wants me to be your lover," he says flatly and I look at him in surprise.

"What?" I ask softly and he runs his fingers across his lips.

"She thinks it could be a great asset to our family if we were intimate," he says with a little smirk. "She obviously doesn't know how much you hate me..."

"I don't hate you," I tell him flatly. "I just find you annoying."

"Charming," he says with a hand on his heart. "If I can't manage to seduce you, she wants me to use other magical means of persuasion," he says with a his brows raised. "I don't think she realizes that it would burn the shit out of you."

"Oh..." I don't say anything to that. I just send a worried frown down to the chess board.

"You sleep walk," he says another random line and when I look to him... he seems rather serious.

"What?"

"You walk... in your sleep," he explains like I was an idiot. "You did it every night before I left for the hunting trip."

"I did?" I whisper.

He nods his head, the curls falling in his eyes. "You sing sometimes... and sometimes you hiss."

"Like a snake?"

"Like a snake," he confirms. "Ginny," he says, looking at me. He didn't say my name jokingly this time... it was much more serious. "I believe things are going to get far worse for you before they ever get better."

"What does that mean?" I ask, forgetting about the chest game as I lean forward.

"That means a great deal of things," he says as he moves his knight by my king.

"Can you explain that?" I ask with a worried frown and he sighs loudly.

"No," he says flatly.

I look down at the board again because I know it's my turn.

"Check mate," he says flatly after I realize what he's done.

"You cheated," I whisper as I look over the game, trying to see where the mix up was.

"Prove it," he counters and I inhale a short and angry breath before standing up.

I will not let him provoke me and try to muddle my mind with riddles. I scowl at him before I go back to my own room and I could swear I heard him laughing as I left.

I've been avoiding Zabini for the past few days and I make sure to lock my door each night. Daphne said he lies... so was he lying about my sleep walking? What was I even doing walking around when I was always right in my bed in the morning?

I hardly know.

Ruth gave me dance lessons earlier today which consisted mostly of her snapping her fingers for the elves to bring her more wine and me uncomfortably dancing with a house-elf who was made to walk on magic stilts to reach my height. I didn't learn a damn thing and it was uncomfortable for everyone involved.

I didn't understand why I had to learn this way and she answered me with a harsh voice. Blaise, she said, refused to help in my lessons because he was a selfish brat who cared only of himself.

I had the impression that Ruth Davenport didn't think too highly of her only son and it made me question the honesty of him saying she wanted us to be lovers... because, honestly, it seemed like she could hardly stand him and she didn't sugar coat that when I was around.

In any case, I was glad it was the elf and not Blaise I was dancing with. I don't think I could have handled his sly smirk and catty remarks.

It was a long and exhausting lesson and I went to bed right after supper.

In my room, I fell asleep quickly and woke a few hours later to use the loo. I get up and stretch my arms above my head before grabbing that silk robe Ruth made me buy. I hated it, but I hated the little slip I was wearing more and I refused to go in the hallways so unclothed. Unfortunately for me, the bathroom is right across from Blaise's room and I give his door an annoyed look when I see he still had his light on.

Jerkface.

After using the loo, I wash my hands and dry them on a towel before leaving with quiet steps so I don't let him know I'm awake. I would hate for him to come out and bother me when I would love nothing more than to go back to sleep.

"I've seen it." I stop in my tracks when I hear that voice coming from Zabini's room.

It's Draco.

I bite my lip before creeping over to his door to listen.. "It's what I suspected."

"Does she know?" I hear Blaise ask and I frown as I push my ear to the door and hold my breath.

"I can only get to the memory when she's asleep," Draco answers flatly. "She doesn't even see it herself it's so hidden."

They're silent for a moment and I almost knock to make my presence known, but something stops me. Something inside of me knows I should just listen for information. Neither of them would tell me anything outright, anyways, I justify to myself.

"I'm sure I can find a separation charm or something," I hear Draco say softly, his voice sounding rough and stressed. "There's a counter to everything," he adds. "I just need to focus more."

"What if you can't?" Blaise asks. "Would that end better justify the means?" he questions in his smooth voice and I frown again. "You've had this in the works for a long time. You knew this was a possibility-"

"I don't need you to tell me that," Draco snapped and I could tell that he was glaring. Just the tone of voice gave that away.

Henry meowed behind me, making me jump and I was afraid I would be found out so I tip toed back to my room. I waited for two hours, and I was almost asleep again when my door opened swiftly. It scared me and I jumped up to face the intruder, half awake and hazy in my memory.

"Geez," I put my hand on my heart when Draco turns on the lights. It hurts and I squint against it as my eyes adjust."You scared me. I thought you might be Blaise," I say softly so he doesn't catch onto my spying.

It backfires. He stops and raises an eyebrow with his hand on the door knob.

"Does he come into your room often in the middle of the night?" he asks sharply and I roll my eyes.

"Of course not," I tell him seriously. "How did you get in?" I ask as he heels out of his shoes.

"It's not like I'm blocked from the wards here, Ginny," he says tiredly like I was stupid for even asking.

"Oh," I say as I slump down.

He shuts and locks the door behind him as I rub sleep from my eyes.

He approaches me and when he's close enough he puts his hand on my face. I look up at him curiously as his fingers trace my jaw. "I'm not very nice to you, am I?" he says softly.

I shrug a shoulder and get up on my knees to kiss him.

"It wouldn't hurt you to be a little nicer," I mutter against his lips as I pull him to me with my arms around his neck.

I would dearly love to ask him about what I overheard, but I know I shouldn't... and I know he would just talk me around it.

"I think I would die of shock," I tell him, trying to joke but he doesn't smile. "Are you okay?" I ask gently as I run my hand down his back.

"You smell nice," he says instead of answering my question and he puts my hair over my shoulder so he can kiss my neck. I turn my head to the side to give him better access.

"Thanks?" I whisper with a smile. "Don't I always smell nice?"

"Yes," he says as he pushes me back so I'm laying on the bed.

"Draco, shouldn't we talk?" I say as he starts to crawl on top of me. I haven't seen him all break. I feel like I have a lot to tell him.

"Why? What's there to talk about?"

"I haven't seen you for a while," I sigh. "You know...I feel like..."

I was going to scold him for not talking to me... an owl would have sufficed, but he cut me off.

"I don't want to talk about it," he snaps hatefully.

"But... your plan..."

"Don't press me into talking about something I don't want to talk about."

"Okay," I say with a frown. "I'm sorry."

He stands over me and rubs his forehead. "I'm sorry," he says flatly as he looks at me. "I'm so mean to you," he says as he walks way from me and he runs his hand over his face. "I have a headache."

"What's going on?" I ask softly as I stand up to approach him.

"I don't want to talk," he snaps as he turns to face me.

He grabs my face and crushes his lips down on mine. I'm stunned for a moment by the forcefulness of it but eventually I get into his rhythm. I'm not actually in the mood to have sex, but I want to comfort him and, if this is what he wants, I don't think I have the heart to deny him. He starts to untie my new silk robe and when he sees the slip I have on underneath, he stops the kiss and looks down with his brows raised.

"What in the hell are you wearing?" he asks sharply and I start to close the robe self-consciously.

"Ruth donated most of my other clothes after she made me go shopping," I admit with a blush, thinking he doesn't like it. "She said the silk was good for my skin... or something like that."

"You had better not be wearing this to breakfast in the mornings," he says with narrowed eyes. He pushes the robe down my shoulders and he starts sucking on my skin, where neck meets shoulder.

"Does it look that bad?" I whisper, unsure of myself in it in the new outfit.

"It looks see through," he snaps as he puts his hand around my waist and letting it trail down until he reaches my... yeah... He pushes me against him a bit more and I put my hand on his arms for balance.

Now I feel bad about myself and I make a face as he starts placing kisses on any exposed part of my body.

"What else did she buy you?" he asks before he sucks on my neck so hard that I know he's going to leave a mark. It makes me cringe in pain, actually, and I grit my teeth as he runs his thumb over my lips. I feel like he's consuming me right now and I can barely breathe.

"She didn't buy me anything," I tell him. I hiss when he sucks a bit harder and dig my nails into his arm. "The Dark Lord did," I say flatly. "That hurts," I whisper.

He stops his assault on my neck and he pulls back to look down at me. "The Dark Lord bought you this?" he asks and I nod. "Really?" he says with a sharp brow raised in question and I nod my head.

"Yes," I answer honestly.

"So, the Dark Lord wanted to buy you clothes and this is what you chose?" he snaps as he motions to the night slip.

"I...I didn't pick it out," I tell him as I push back so I can get away from his firm embrace. "I had no say in half the stuff I picked out. Stop making me feel bad about it," I tell him as I step back and put my hand along my stomach. "I can't control anything in my life."

He stares at me for a few moments before rubbing his forehead and trying to pull me close again.

"I'm not in my right mind," he says as he runs his hand up my side. "You look very sexy in this," he says as he looks down at the slip that makes me feel terrible. "I like it. I like it too much and it drives me mad to think someone else will see you in it," he explains, trying to use his words again. "I am not a very understanding boyfriend," he admits and I would snort if I was feeling better about it.

"Is that your apology?" I ask.

"Yes, I suppose it is."

"I guess I've become accustomed to not expect mushy declarations from you," I tell him with a half hearted smile.

"I can't be that way for you," he tells me honestly and I nod because I know... I've always known. "I'm sorry," he adds like he really was.

Somehow he always manages to say the right thing to me and I take his hand, intertwining our fingers before walking him towards the bed.

When I lay back on the mattress, he takes my leg and places it on his lap. I watch with brows furrowed as he runs his fingers up my foot until they reach the two raised scars where Nagini marked me.

"You were alone with him again?" he says as he runs his fingers over the healed wound.

I nod my head.

Then I remembered the contract I signed under all of the horribleness that happened to me... I look at Draco.

I try to open my mouth to tell him about it... but nothing comes out so I reach for my notebook and sort through the pages until I find the passage that I want. He watches me, his fingers trailing the two fresh scars on my leg as I try to find the words I had written.

When I get to it, I hand it to him and he raises his eyebrows before taking the book.

"It was awful," he reads out loud. I draw my knees up to my chest and hug them like a child. "He made me believe he was torturing my brother... he made me believe he was killing him just so I would close a damn curtain."

"A curtain?" he asks with a brow raised and I nod my head.

"Keep reading."

"Why can't you just tell me?" he snapped and I tapped the page again.

"Please, just keep reading."

"He wanted me to do wandless magic... he made me..." He trails off because my words had trailed off on the page. I shudder as I think of it. "He forced me to do it by doing terrible things to a person I thought was Charlie. When he killed him I thought..." I blink hard. "I thought my heart had dropped in my stomach." Draco's voice is so deep and smooth- it calms me even with the horrid words he's reading. "But it wasn't him, it was another man that he made look like Charlie. Why would he do that?" My words ask the question from Draco's lips and I reach forward to touch him.

"Why would he do that to me?" I question now that he understands and he rubs his forehead.

"He does that so if it happens again... you will allow yourself to have a sliver of hope that the person he's torturing is not your loved one at all. That way the blow is much greater when it turns out that it actually is."

The explanation makes me shiver and I blink hard a few times.

"Why are you making me fucking read this, Gin?" he asks and I bite my lip before taking the notebook and turning it back a few pages.

I hand it to him again.

I signed a contract. I had written those words and I watched as he read them, not bothering to say it out loud this time. It was exactly like the one I took from Rookwood. It took my blood as ink.

"That's why you can't talk about it," he says flatly after looking up and I nod my head. Then his face becomes a mask of fury as he snaps the book closed to glare at me. "Why did you sign it?" he hisses at me and I let my mouth hang open in surprise before blinking out of it..

"I didn't have many options... he was sitting right beside me, literally forcing my hand."

I'm surprised I was allowed to say that much, but the magic was making my throat feel tight. I was walking a very fine line with that spell.

"Goddamnit, Ginny. I told you not to sign it," he says hatefully as he stands up and starts pacing. "Why would you fucking do that? You know I can't help you if he calls now."

"Stop yelling at me," I tell him with my eyes blinking with tears as I recall how frightening it was. "I didn't know what else to do. He's..." Terrifying! My mind was screaming the word but wouldn't allow my mouth to say it.

"Now what?" he asks with his hands on his hips. "What if it takes longer for him to die, Ginny? He's the Dark Lord, he isn't exactly known for going out easily. I can't help you because you signed that. He's a step closer to canceling out everything I've done for you this year."

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I didn't want to sign it. I didn't know what else to do!"

He rubs his face. "I have to make a reversal potion for the birth control you took. I can't wait fucking three months now for it to wear off."

"Wait... why?" I ask as I stand up.

"The only way I can keep my hold over you now is to get you pregnant," he says and I swallow hard as I shake my head. "And I only have a week to do it."

"I don't want—"

"It doesn't matter," he snaps. "It doesn't matter what you want."

He's horrible sometimes.

"There has to be another way. I thought you said you didn't want kids until later. I don't want have a baby with the world as messed up as it is. I can't handle it."

"Plans change, you made sure of that," he says and I start crying... just because I was already hanging on by a thread and I crumble against the bed as he paces about the room. "You won't have to keep it," he says softly as I try to wipe my eyes, but tears just keep coming. "I just need that first spark of conception," he says seriously. "You could abort it after that."

"Abort it?" I say in disgust, looking at him like I'd never seen him before. "You would want me to get pregnant with your child and then just get rid of it like it never happened? Why would you even say that? What's wrong with you?"

He doesn't say anything for a while as he watches me cry and then he walks towards me. I flinch away from him when he tries to touch me so he sighs and kneels in front of me so I'm forced to face him.

"It was a stupid thing to say," he says as he goes to touch my cheek. "That's not what I want..." he exhales slowly. "This is all stressing me out and I'm trying to keep my thoughts organized. Don't cry," he says because I have yet to stop bawling like a baby.

I'm even starting to hyperventilate and he brings a hand up to my face.

"I don't want to make you cry."

I wipe my eyes again with the back of my hands and I try to catch my breath. "I just want things to be normal," I admit and he nods his head.

"I know," he says as leans down to kiss me. "There are so many things I want to do for you... There are so many thing I want to protect you from but I feel like my hands are constantly tied."

I hold his hand against my face. "I wish I was better... I wish I could be more like you but I never know what to do with these situations. I'm just... I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid," he says firmly. I know it's a lie so I look away. "You're not stupid, Ginny," he tells me as he leans in to kiss my forehead. "Soon you won't have to worry about any of this," he adds as I lean in to hug him.

I feel his heart beat.

It makes me think of Mrs. Malfoy and what she had asked from me. For some reason I can't get the Dark Lord torturing Draco out of my head and I hold him a little closer.

"What is it?" he whispers against my hair as I cling to him.

"It's just..." I trail off trying to find the words I want to say. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't."

"Draco..." I lick my lips. "You don't have to go through with this," I say as I think of Nariccsa and the earnest way she was looking at me. "I'm sure Harry will win.. Harry always wins."

"My mother made you talk to me," he says flatly and I open my mouth to respond, but he touches my forehead. "You're not blocking anything right now," he adds. "I can see it."

"Maybe she's right, though," I say softly. "I don't think I could stand it if you were hurt."

"I will not follow a half blood, Gin," he says seriously. "I will not follow a man who would take you away from me either," he adds, kissing my temple. "We deserve better than that."

He holds me for a while and we stay in silence as time ticks by... then we start kissing. Sweetly at first and more the more fiercely until he beckons me to lay back. Once I'm comfortable against the pillows I pull him on top of me, kissing his lips and running my hand along his arm. He pulls back a little so I can help him lift his shirt over his head and once his chest is bare I run my hand down his stomach.

When I get to his pants, I shift underneath him so I can help him unbuckle his belt.

I bite my lower lip as I try to get, but when he says my name I glance up to him.

"I can't be gentle with you tonight," he says seriously after a moments pause and I furrow my brows.

"That's okay..."

"No, babe," he says with a head shake as he puts his forearms on the bed so he can hover over me. "I try to be sweet to you," he says as he brings his hand up and runs his fingers down my profile. "I can't do that tonight."

"I think I can take it," I tell him because he's been rough before and that's nothing new. "I like it."

He looks down at me and bites his bottom lip. It makes my heart thump because... because he got that from me. I guess I'm rubbing off on him too and that thought pleases me.

"Just tell me to stop," he whispers before dipping his head down.

I guess I wasn't exactly sure what I was getting into.

He was being insanely rough.

He was going so hard like he never thought he'd ever have the chance to do it again and there was something almost desperate about his movements. He bit, he gripped, he grabbed, and he practically threw me around the bed as I tried to calm my breathing and enjoy what was happening to me. It was almost animalistic in a way and borderline brutal in it's intensity. It made me realize how much Draco held back when we were together before and I tried to just grit my teeth and bear it... but after half an hour of the constant roughness, I stilled his hips and gave him a lingering kiss as I folded my legs around his waist.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked with labored breathing against my ear and I shook my head as I tried to calm my own beating heart.

"I just... I just needed a break," I tell him gently before kissing his shoulder and getting my bearings once again. We're both sweating terribly and it's making my hair curl. I lick my burning lips and nod my head as I close my eyes. "Okay," I whisper as I bring my hand up to his neck. "You can keep going."

He starts moving slowly again and then he takes my hands and intertwines our fingers, pinning them against the bed as he lets his head drop.

He takes my ear lobe between his teeth and tugs gently. Draco knows what that does to me and I arch my back at the feeling as he pulls back to smile at me.

"Your turn," he says sweetly as he bends down to kiss me and I smile against his lips as he slows his pace to something I find enjoyable.

When we were finished, I just knew I would have some fresh bruises, but there was an odd kind of ache that I didn't really mind. I always used him for my comfort and I couldn't be mad about him wanting to use me as well, even if he was a bit more... hard... for my taste. I love him and it had felt good. With that thought I turn on my side and kiss his shoulder.

"Do you feel better?" I ask him as I curl by his side.

He's sweating and he has his hand behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling.

"I do," he nods his head and he turns to me, giving me a long lingering kiss before smiling at me. "Thank you," he whispers against my lips.

I smile at him and prop myself up on my elbow so I can play with his hair. When it's wet it sticks up in any position I put it in and I spike it up in the front before he kisses my wrist.

"You're so handsome," I tell him honestly because he is and I sigh as he puts my hand on his chest.

His cheeks are flushed and he grins at me before he turns us so I'm laying under him again. He gives me another deep kiss and I sigh softly as I bring a hand up to his neck to keep him there.

"I love you," he says against my lips and I know he means it.

It surprises me every time he says it and I can't help but smile at him as I pull him close and open my mouth so he can slide his tongue along mine.

"Whatever happens," he says as he pulls back, only to rest his head on my chest to listen to my heart. I run my hands through his hair, combing through his strands so they stick up in an adorable way. "I don't want you to doubt that."

"I don't doubt it," I tell him because at this moment, I feel perfect in our relationship.

He hugged his arms around my body and I smiled as he sighed against my chest.

We lay like that in silence for a while and I look out the window as I run my fingers along his shoulders and back.

"I'm going to kill my aunt," he says softly and I furrow my brows, stopping my hands.

"What..."

"My aunt. Bellatrix Lestrange," he says flatly. "I'm going to kill her."

Oh.

"Um..." I lick my lips. I honestly have no idea what to say to that. "Umm..."

"You don't like that I'm so blunt about such serious matters?" he asks as he raises his head to look at me. His hair is still sticking up from where I was playing with it and it makes him look like a boy.

An adorable boy with so many twisted and deadly plans.

"I don't know what to think about it," I admit as I run my knuckles over his cheek.

He leans into my touch and then gets up on his fore arms so he's hovering above me. "She needs to go. Not only is she insane, but she's a powerful witch who will do everything to help the Dark Lord be successful."

"How... How does your family feel about that? Isn't your mother having her Christmas party soon? Is your Aunt invited?" I ask and he shrugs. "Will the Dark Lord know?" I ask worriedly. "I mean, if she's gone, he is bound to notice, right?"

"Eventually, but no one will find her body and I expect him to be dead after Christmas. Everything is moving now and we're in the final stages," he says flatly. "He won't have a leg to stand on after I'm through."

"And Harry?" I ask softly, not wanting him to get mad. "How does he factor into this?"

"He'll be coming to Hogwarts," he says seriously. "The Dark Lord is setting up a final battle to get rid of him once and for all, but with his inner circle out, it will be harder for him. The only thing is that Potter doesn't have an army to back him up against the countless Death Eaters that will be there," he bites his bottom lip again and I kiss him quickly before he continues. "Most of the Dark Lord's opposition has been put out and with the soulless masses in Azkaban... he'll have his own mindless army fighting against their left over loved ones. That's what worries me," he says as he narrows his eyes in thought.

I think of my trunk and the souls I have stashed there.

"I have something to show you," I tell him as I slide out from underneath him. I put on the peach robe again before going over to my trunk. "When I was with the Dark Lord... in that weird building," I tell him and he nods as he follows me. I kneel down and pop open the lid. "There was a room," I tell him as I move aside all of the clothes I had covering them. he drops to his knees by my side. "It was full of these," I tell him as I reveal the snitches.

I hold one up and hand it to him. It has Neville's name on it and he rolls it over in his hands.

"Can we put them back?" I ask with a brow raised. "Can we make them whole again? I know every single person in here would fight against Lord Voldemort," I tell him honestly. "They would all fight with Harry," he looks at me and I put my hand on his arm. "And you," I add for good measure.

He puts the ball back with the others and then he looks at me... he really looks at me closely and then he smiles and kisses me quickly.

"Brilliant girl," he whispers against my lips. He even brings a hand up to squeeze my breast inside of my robe. "I can separate these," he says when he pulls back and I leave the robe open just because... he's naked too. "I have access to Azkaban... I can get to the prisoners here before the battle and I can send Zabini to Hogwarts. This could work, Ginny. This was good."

I smile, pleased with myself. He looks back at the trunk and then he notices a black lacy bra that Ruth forced me to buy. He picks it up with a brow raised. "What is this?" he asks and I blush as I grab it.

"Ruth made me buy that too." I mutter with a red face and he smiles.

"Can I see it on?" he asks with a sly little smirk and I glance at him.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Turn around," I tell him as I grab it and the matching knickers.

"I just saw everything," he says with an amused grin. "It's not like it would be anything shocking to me."

"Just do it," I whisper as I push his shoulder.

He raises his brows before grabbing his boxers. I watch his back as he slides them on and I start putting on the lingerie. I have to adjust the straps on the bra and once that's in place I shimmy into the lacy black underwear. I was a little nervous for him to turn around so I glanced to the mirror to make sure everything was okay. I fix my hair quickly before adjusting my breasts one more time and then taking a deep breath.

"Are you almost done?" Draco asks in annoyance as I try to suck in my stomach.

"You can look now," I tell him and when he turns around I see his eyes darken as he takes me in.

"Wow..." he says and I felt a little pleased by his reaction.

I know he's seen me naked a million times over, but I felt sexier in pretty lacy things like this.

"Do you like it?" I ask as I run my hands down my stomach self consciously.

"Very much so," he says with a smile, the sad mood gone. "Turn around. I want to see everything."

I feel silly, but I bite my lip and do a slow turn anyways.

"It's just... it's really not me, though," I tell him as run my fingers over the hem of the knickers, knowing full well I'm on display for his watching eyes and I also know how much he likes that.

"You wear it well," he says with a smirk and I laugh as I cross my arms. "I might have to fuck you again."

"You say it like such a romantic," I tell him with a smile and he smirks as he crooks his finger to beckon me to him as he sits on the bed.

"Come here, then. Tell me what other sinful things you bought with the Dark Lord's blood money."

"Blaise's mom really has a particular kind of taste, doesn't she?"

"I would expect no less from her."

Thinking of her makes me think of Blaise... what he said about Ruth liking young men. I bite my bottom lip as I walk towards him and sit on his lap with my feet dangling above the floor.

"I have a question."

"Alright," he answers as he runs his lips over my cheek.

"Did you..." I trail off as I remember him saying that he's only slept with two girls before me... he never told me who it was.

God, no. I don't like where my thoughts are going.

"Did I what?" he asks as I fiddle with his watch.

I try to think of how I want to word it. "Did... like..." I can't think of the right words. Daphne did say that something happened years ago between Narcissa and Ruth... was it Draco? Ew. "Have you and Ruth..."

"Have we what?" he asks.

All I can think of is how beautiful Ruth is.

"Did..."

"Fucking say it, Ginny," he snaps at me and I lick my lips before looking at him.

"Did you sleep with Ruth Davenport?" I ask bluntly and he narrows his eyes.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"That doesn't answer my question."

"What does it matter to you?" he asks. "I would never cheat on you."

God, he did.

I stand up. "Draco, she's... she's old... how old were you?" I ask with a disgusted look on my face. "Oh, ew," I say as I shake my head. "That's... that's just wrong."

"I don't have to justify my sexual history to you," he says sharply. "It doesn't affect you in any way..." he trails of and then gives me a deadly look. "What brought this up? Did Zabini say something to you?"

I can't get the thought out of my head.

"Do you still have feelings for her?" I ask because... well, because she's just so perfect looking.

He snorts. "I never had feelings for her. I was fourteen, Ginny. I hardly cared. I was just pleased that I was getting laid."

"Fourteen," I say in disbelief. "Jesus, she raped you."

"It wasn't rape," he says with an eye roll.

"She is old enough to be your mother and you were just a baby. That's... that's against the law!"

"It's over and it happened. It doesn't even matter..." he trails off and stands up. "It was fucking Blaise wasn't it? He was the one who told you that... That fucking-"

I don't get to hear the last bit of that because he stormed out of the room.

Where is he going?

I scramble for clothes and when I hear a door slam, I forgo clothes and just grab the robe as I go running down the hallways towards Blaise's room.

"You think I don't know what you're doing," I hear Draco hiss as I approach.

"Oh, my god. Draco, stop," I scold when I get into the room. His wand is out and Blaise is on the ground, bleeding from his nose. "What did you do?" I ask as I run in to help the obvious person in trouble, but Draco grabs my arm and yanks me back.

"You," he says, giving me a deadly look. "Do not go near him."

"He's bleeding," I say with a furrowed brow.

"Obviously," Blaise chimes in as he gets up and tries to stop the blood with the heel of his palm. "Thanks for pointing it out to the class."

"Get your father's potions kit and make the counter potion to Vernax," he says and I furrow my brows. He still has a harsh grip on my arm. "And you," he says, glaring down at me as Blaise gets to his feet to obey. "Go to your room."

"I won't be dismissed like a child," I tell him wriggling my way out of his grasp. "Stop talking down to me like that, Draco."

He inhales deeply, his nostrils flaring. I flinch back when he clenches his fist in anger.

I shy away from him and cross my arms over my chest as he watches Blaise start making that counter potion thing he was talking about with a fire burning in his eyes. He ignores me as Zabini scoops up some of the green potion into a small vial and he hands it to Draco with out even looking up from the cauldron.

"Drink it," Draco snaps as he approaches me with it.

"Is... Is this that thing you were talking about? That birth control reversal thing?"

"Stop questioning me and fucking drink it, Ginny," he snaps hatefully.

I take the damn thing and throw it on the ground. It shattered against Blaise's floor. "I am tired of doing things other people tell me. I don't want to drink that. I don't want to have a child right now. I don't want any of this!" I yell and Draco's eyes flame.

He gives Blaise a look. "I'm coming back later," he snaps harshly. "Make sure she drinks that fucking potion before I come back," he says before leaving the room.

Once he's gone, I look at Blaise, who's stuffing a napkin up his nose.

I wait a moment before going to him and putting his hand down so I can have a look. "I wouldn't suggest that," he says as I tilt his head back. "You heard what the general said."

"I'm not drinking that potion," I tell him as I grab his wand to see if I can heal his wound. "I won't."

"He could make you," he says with his brow lifted as I try to set his nose right.

"He could, but if he loved me he won't."

"Draco Malfoy doesn't think the way you do," he says and I nod... because that was the truth. "He loves selfishly," he says flatly.

I don't say anything to that.

"You would do anything to help the people you love, right?" he asks after I set his nose straight and I nod.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"If push came to shove, would he do the same for you?"

"Why do you say things like that?" I snap at him as I pull away after he's healed. "Just drop hints that you know mess with my mind."

"Maybe I'm more like you, Weasley. Can't say things outright."

"Whatever," I say softly as I hand him his wand.

He goes to the mirror and looks at my healing job before shaking his head and setting it again with another yelp of pain. "I am far too pretty to have a crooked nose," he scolds me as I sit down on his bed and cross my arms.

"Where did he go?" I ask worriedly as I look at the door where Draco left.

"I suspect to take a much needed walk," he chimes in as he cleans the blood from his face. "He was pretty pissed off if you didn't notice... and with a violet temper like that I doubt he wanted to stick around and kill everyone."

He goes back to the cauldron and uses another vial to scoop up more of that potion. I don't say anything as he sits beside me and holds it in front of my face. "Drink it," he says with a sigh. "I can't take another curse to the face," he says and then he looks me over, the peach robe slightly open because of the way I'm sitting. "It looks like you couldn't handle much more of his tough love either."

He uses his wand to open the robe a bit more by my neck and he makes a face at the mark left there after our shag session.

I push his wand away and close the robe so it's secured all the way up to my throat.

"He gets so angry," I say as I stare at the vial. "It's like his moods change so quickly. He was being so sweet just a little bit ago."

Blaise doesn't say anything.

"How did you know that he slept with your mother?" I ask gently.

That is what sparked this whole outrage anyways. I thought I should ask.

Blaise raises a brow and then leans back on the bed, using his forearms to keep himself propped up. "I caught them once, during winter break..." I make a face as I think about it. "The thing is," he says thoughtfully as he looks away. "Neither of them seemed to care that I saw it."

I crinkle my nose at the image and shake my head.

"That's disgusting," I say and he nods.

"Indeed."

"So if you're not bonded to him," I say, sending him a little glance. I stare at the blood still clinging to his nostril. "Why do you keep helping him?"

He sighs loudly and sits up straight again. "Sometimes, Weasley," he says as he hands me the vial. "It's best to throw your lot in with the lessor of two evils." He brings a hand up and touches my earlobe, holding it between his fingers. "Besides, he always gets the best things..."

I snap his hand away and stand up before he can finish that sentence. I'm going to my room. I've had enough of bastard Slytherins.

"Take it, Ginny," he says and I stop in the doorway to look at him over my shoulder.

He doesn't even turn around and I stare at his back before walking back to my room.

I set it on the nightstand and I sit on the bed, waiting for Draco to return.

He comes back just before dawn, and I feel him staring at me before he walks in and picks up the potion.

"Please," he says softly. "Please take it. It might just be a shot in the dark anyways... but please," he says as he kneels in front of me. "Please. I can't have him putting in his claim now. Not now. Please."

"I've never heard you say please so many times," I point out.

He stares me down and I put my hand on my forehead before taking the stupid thing and uncorking the lid. I can feel him watching me as I down it and then I throw the stupid thing across the room.

"When this is over," I tell him as he bends down to kiss me. "You need to start doing things I say from time to time," I tell him.

He doesn't say anything as he pushes me back on the bed.

I hesitate a second before I allow him open my robe.

"And no biting this time," I tell him as I put my hand on his shoulder.

He didn't bite me, but I would have traded one bite with birth control for the three times he had sex with me me that morning without it.

When he left, he took all of my hidden souls and I made him promise that he would do as he said... that he would bring my family back to me.

He replied that he would do that... that and so much more.

I could hardly find enough faith in me to believe him.

I wasn't feeling very good. My head hurt and I couldn't help the terrible feeling that was pooling in the pit of my stomach. It's that feeling you get as the roller coaster is slowly creeping up the large incline and you know any second it's going to drop and you're going to go with it.

It's nauseating, actually.

The Christmas Party at Malfoy Manor is, of course, an extravagant affair with silver and glitter and magic all over the place... only there were a lot more darker figures than I pictured such a jolly event having on the guest list. I'm standing by myself by a large bay window as I watch the girls from Draco's little group hang off the arms of the old and menacing looking Death Eaters.

I wonder if they kiss them... or have sex with them? Sex is always on the forefront of my mind it seems...

I have a constant ache between my legs now because I've been way over used in the bedroom. Draco has come to me three to four times a day pining me to the bed and spreading my legs in hopes of knocking me up because I signed that contract.

It's officially taken all the fun out of sex and my body is sore from the constant exercise.

Jeez, even an hour ago, Draco pulled me into his bedroom when I went to go to the bathroom and had me up against a wall.

I don't understand how he can get hard all the time. It's like he has the stamina of a rabbit.

I try not think about it and what it might mean for my future. I find I handle things best if I just pretend like it's not happening.

I make a face when I shift my legs. A little ache goes through me and I glare as I watch Daphne flirt with her troll of a suitor. I flick a glance around to find Draco. He's talking to his father across the room with his eyes following Bellatrix Lestrange as she skips about the room with her husband, talking about the Dark Lord in an overly loud voice to anyone who will listen. My stomach turns when she passes me and I turn against the wall a bit more, hoping to fold into the background.

It doesn't work very well for me. In fact, people I don't even know are coming up to me to introduce themselves. They all tell me I look pretty and that I'm a great asset to the 'cause'... whatever that is. I suspect they're sucking up to me and they would probably be a bit disturbed to realize I have no sway with Tom Riddle in the least bit so all their empty compliments are in vain.

I look around for Ruth to save me from the pointless conversation but she's at the center of the room, among a group of well dressed gentlemen, looking completely at home with a martini in her hands as she flirts with the men around her. I look away from her to the hostess, Mrs. Malfoy spares me a little glance before looking away.

I start chewing on my nails. I'm in a crowded room, but I've never felt more alone.

I grab a drink of some sort as it floats past me and I take a sip to calm my nerves. It tastes like peppermint and I lick my lips before taking another drink and looking around.

Why are we celebrating Christmas anyways? It's not like it's a happy holiday for anyone anymore and I take another bitter drink as I fold my arms across my chest. I've decided to hate Christmas this year... I might even boycott it, actually. Oh, and I might be pregnant because I drank that stupid potion my boyfriend wanted me to drink just because he said please.

Cheers to the new freaking year.

I exhale slowly and take another drink.

I spend most of the night on my own, watching as Pansy leaves early with her old man... Daphne goes next with her suitor... Millicent... Cho... and few others leave on the arms of older... scary looking, men and I furrow my brows.

Where are they going?

After a few more people come up to me to introduce themselves and tell me how long they've followed the Dark Lord, I've had enough and I push myself off the wall to find Ruth to ask her to take me home.

"Why ever would you want to do that?" she asks after I pull her away from the hoard of admiring men.

"I'm tired," I say and it's actually the truth. I want nothing more than to sleep.

"The night is still young," she smiles at me before picking up another martini. "Stay. Have fun. Make friends." she looks around. "Where's Blaise... he can dance with you."

"You never taught me any of these dances," I remind her flatly and she gives me another charming smile before ushering me away.

I end up by the wall again.

As the night dwindles down... the hall empties and all that's left is a drunk Ruth surrounded by the group of horny men. There are a few other clingers still hanging around but a majority of the guests have gone home for the night. Draco left with his father a couple hours ago and never came back and there's an old woman drunk on eggnog snoring away in the corner... and Mrs. Malfoy, who is looking on the display with disgust written all over her beautiful features.

She walks over to me. "Ginevra, why don't I set a room up for you," she says, watching Ruth Davenport like if she stared hard enough the woman would catch on fire. "You can sleep here for the evening."

"But..." I frown as I look at Ruth. I don't want to get in trouble with the Dark Lord because my 'mentor' is a drunk slag.

She claps her hands and a little elf with yellow eyes appears. "Show Miss Weasley to one of the guest bedrooms and make sure she's comfortable," she says and I open my mouth to respond but she holds up a hand. "I'll take care of it," she snaps.

I allow myself to get pulled out of the room and when we reach the large blue guest room I lay on the bed with out even bothering to take off my shoes. I am far too exhausted for that.

At half past four, Draco storms into my room.

"Here," he throws a cloak at me and turns on the light. He's looking a lot worse for the wear and his face is bleeding... in a few spots, actually. "We need to leave... now."

I don't even bother to respond as I put on the cloak as quickly as I can.

"What's happening?" I whisper, still half asleep, thinking he wants to fuck again. "What happened to your face?" I ask, feeling the need to touch him... heal him... before moving on.

"I knew she wouldn't go down with out a fight, but her mental problems made me forget what a good dueler she was."

"You killed Bellatrix Lestrange?" I whisper and he nods.

I have to run to keep up with him and we Apparate outside of Draco's Hogwart's passageway. His strides are long and angry as we go through the hidden tunnel towards the boys dorm and when he get through the fireplace, he grabs my arm and starts steering me like I was a child.

This all seems so sudden... I wasn't ready for this and I'm a little bewildered.

He should have kept me informed.

I look at Draco as he pulls us through the halls of Hogwarts. He has his hood up, but as he jogs down the stairs it falls back to reveal his profile. His eyes are narrowed and sharp and when I fumble on one of the steps, he grips my hand and intertwines our fingers.

"Pay attention, Gin," he whispers under his breath in annoyance once I get my footing.

I nod my head and follow him. It's hard to run in the heels Ruth made me wear, but I try to keep up with him.

When we reach the courtyard, he uses his wand to enlarge Apparation circles that he pulled from his pocket. I recognize them as practice portals that students use when they're trying to take their test to get their Apparating license. You can only get from one first circle to the next and they're always a few feet away from each other in the main hall so you can't break any apparating rules. We use them because you can't Apparate in or out of Hogwarts directly... I look at Draco as he places them around the fountain and I take a second to marvel at how smart he is. He's such a clever wizard. Blaise and Crabbe jog towards us after a few moments and Draco gives them a look.

Zabini nods his head.

"We were able to put them back. Those soul holders worked," he says and my heart leaps when I think of what that will mean. Neville... Seamus... their souls are back! "They're getting used to it now, but they should be prepared to fight in the next few minutes. The ones that we didn't have souls for are locked in the kitchen."

"Good," Draco says as he checks his watch. "The Dark Lord might call on them if he realizes what we've done. Potter should be bringing the others from Azkaban shortly."

I look back at the fountain and nearly scream in surprise when Cho Chang pops within one of the circles. She looks sick, like she's going to throw up, and when she looks at Draco, she nods her head.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

No one answers but when I remember Draco talking about taking out the Dark Lord's inner circle... it makes me think about his folders... and the names that were written on the back of pictures. That's the reason why the girls were allowing those older... disgusting... men to court them...

They were going to kill them.

Pansy comes next. She's holding her arm and when I go to see if she's okay, she waves me off. "He woke up before I could curse him,"she says with a hiss as she moves her arm to reveal the cut. "Terrible aim, though."

"He's gone?" Draco asks and Pansy nods as Blasie starts to mend her arm. "No one was alerted?"

"Not even an elf," Pansy says and then she hisses as Blasie uses his wand against the wound. "I would have killed him with out an order," she says nastily. "You should have seen the way he was pawing me all night."

Daphne comes next, looking pale and shaken, and then a few more of his female friends apparate to us, half clothed and shaking like a leaf, but nodding in confirmation that a terrible task had been completed.

"His inner circle is almost gone now," Draco whispers as we all stare at the last circle still unoccupied. "He won't have a leg to stand on when he comes to kill Potter."

"Who's missing?" I ask softly as I give Daphne a hug to stop her trembling.

"Millicent," Pansy says with a brow raised once Blaise is done with her arm. "She should be here shortly."

We wait.

And we wait.

"Did something bad happen to her, do you think?" I offer and Draco shakes his head.

He checks his watch again and then after a few moments, his lip curls back in a hateful sneer. "She had better come..." he snaps.

I guess that's bad.

I feel something tickling my neck, so I scratch it.

As we wait, the feeling doesn't go away and I blink a few times before I feel a pull in my chest. I turn and start walking... walking without a thought like I had no say over my actions. When the group notices that I've wondered off, I can hear them calling to me... but it's very faint... like it was lost in a fog. I can't control my movements. I'm like a zombie walking aimlessly towards the front gates.

I can hear people calling my name from behind as I pick up speed and start running. I have no idea where I'm going or why I'm going, or when I'll stop and I feel a tug in my chest when Draco commands me to come back, but a faint tickle was all it turns out to be. It has no hold over me any more and I can feel the panic behind me as I finally reach the gate to the waiting arms of darkness.

I dream of Tom and skipping behind him as we play hide and seek in the castle at night when the world is asleep. I dream of the room of requirement and a thin woman kneeling at the center of a mess of junk staring up at me with cursed eyes.

"Just a squib," Tom says as he comes up behind me with his hand on top of mine, clenching our fingers around my wand. "Family disowned her... all that jazz," he whispered and I could practically feel his breath against my ear even though he was hardly real yet.

He was just a ghost and I was just a girl who was in way over my head.

"She was in the forest," I answered because my mind could remember seeing her living in a tent in the forbidden forest where no students were supposed to go. I remember seeing her there when Tom was showing me how to do dark magic... How to make animals do as I say without anyone knowing the difference and how to make them scream.

"Hiding out," he tisks his tongue. "Free loading off wizards and witches," he adds.

"We should tell someone," I say and he nods his head against my shoulder.

"Indeed we should," he says thoughtfully. "Or, we could do something much greater."

"What's that?" I ask softly. I was young. So young. Too young and my mind was being twisted and warped and turned over into something completely not my own.

"She can make us stronger," he says as he lifted my hand, making me point my wand at the comatose woman on the floor. "Don't you want to be strong?"

"Yes."

"Don't you want the word to love you?"

"Yes," I whisper.

"Don't you want everyone to pay attention to you? To finally realize how grand and wonderful you truly are?"

I nod my head.

"Don't you want to please me?"

"More than anything."

"Good, then let me in," he said and I closed my eyes.

When Tom would possess me, it was like watching a play from seats high in the rafters of a theater. I could hear what was happening and if I tried hard enough, I could see it, but I could hardly do anything about it. I heard the woman scream, I saw the jet of green light leave my wand... I heard Tom laughing as I cowered against the back of my mind and I felt his power.

It was the greatest feeling I ever felt.

When I finally came to, Tom was more solid in form and he was standing over the woman's dead body, tapping his hand against his lips as he looked around the room.

I knew what had happened. I knew what I did, but I just couldn't wrap my little mind around it as Tom used his strength of solid form to sort through boxes and cabinets that were stacked on top of each other about the room.

"Keep that feeling, Ginevra," he says as he throws things over his shoulder. "Keep feeling empty," he says as I put my hand on my heart.

It was fluttering so fast I feared it might explode.

"There you are," I heard him say and when he comes back into view he's holding a small head band of sorts. It looks like a crown for a princess with a large blue stone in the middle surrounded by diamonds.

When he approaches me, I do nothing but stare at him as he puts his hand on my chest and literally pulls something out of it.

I don't know what it was, but it felt like my whole body was being torn apart and I fell to the ground as he picked up my wand to do some complicated looking magic with it.

"This is a very treasured artifact," he said after he was finished and he helped me to my feet after the hole in my chest filled itself up. "Now, you will be like me," he says as he places the crown upon my head. "Little Ginevra Weasley," he says with a soft smile. "You are a powerful witch. It is no surprise that I was handed to you, little one. Only you could bring me back so successfully," he says as he pulls me towards one of the large mirrors, covered in a dusty sheet. "I will need you."

He moves the sheet and dust flies up around us to reveal my reflection. The mirror doesn't show Tom. But it shows me, a terrified eleven year with old a beautiful crown on my head.

"You are now like me," he says as he looks at my refection. He puts hair over my shoulder to reveal my small neck. I was a freckled little thing and I just stared wide eyed with out moving as he moved his hands down my arms. "You will never die," he says as he pets my back. "You will age until twenty five and stay there, watching the world age with me."

"Why?" That was all I said, that was all I could get out and he laughed.

"Because," he said and as he traces a vein on my wrist with his cold fingers like he was tracing a map. "Your blood is important."

He always said that.

He looked at the reflection again and I glanced at him as he smiled. "Queen Ginny," he said with a mocking laugh.

"Why?" I questioned again.

"Your blood will keep me relevant," he said as he brought my wrist up to his nose where he inhaled deeply like one would a fragrant flower. It made me shiver. "But, alas, you are not as powerful as I am," he says, letting my arm drop.

I frowned at him and his clever smile.

"This is the best part," he says as he takes the crown from my head to return it to it's hiding spot. "Your soul is not as hard. We're connected now, in ways we have never been connected before. If someone wants to kill me," he says, waving the crown. "Then they will surely kill you. Unlike me, you can't survive if it were gone," he laughs. "You're too weak in that area. It's such a beautiful tragedy, is it not?"

"That sounds terrible," I whisper and he smirks.

"We're immortals now. Isn't that pleasing?"

When I wake, I wake to Draco gently stroking my cheek and I sigh in relief when I see him.

"Bad dream?" he asks with a brow raised and I lean up to kiss him firmly against the lips.

"Always," I admit before laying back against the bed.

He gives me a devilish smile before his hand disappears between my legs. "What are you doing?" I whisper softly as he starts turning on my body. I'm not wearing anything from the waist down so he had pretty easy access. "I thought we were..." I trail off and blink when he dips his fingers inside of me.

Weren't we doing something before... this?

Was that all just a dream?

It did seem to be moving at hyper speeds...

"Hush now," he says before bending down and silencing me with a kiss.

"Can't we just sleep for a little bit," I plead because we're always doing it now. "Please, babe," I whisper as I put my hand in his hair. "Can't we just rest for a little while? I'm still sore from before."

He laughs. It's a deep, throaty laugh. "I am sure you are," he says with amusement in his voice. "But you can rest later. I need you now."

Fine.

I relax my body, happy that the seriousness seems to be gone and I sigh, letting him manipulate my body for what's about to happen. As always, my body gives into his advances after a while and in my need, I reach for his belt. I start undoing it haste-fully as his fingers slip in and out of me.

"You are awfully willing now," he smiles as I work at his pants. "Aren't you?"

"I spend a majority of my time being willing for you," I joke with him and I reach inside of his trousers once I have them open.

He's solid in my hands and when he rolls on top of me to start, I notice he has all of his clothes on. I spread my legs for him and pull back so I can unbutton his waist coat. He grabs my hand and pins it to the ground.

"That's hardly fair," I tell him with a brow arched because I want to feel his skin against mine.

"There's not enough time for that, little one," he says and I lean up to kiss him again, holding him there with my free hand as I snake my fingers through his hair.

It's not an opened mouth kiss and I frown as I pull back. "Kiss me," I whisper softly and he pauses a second before bending down to meet me halfway.

He deepens the kiss with a vengeance and it takes my breath away as he consumes me with it. When he pulls back, my lips burn and he smiles down at me, his silver eyes twinkling. I lean in to kiss him again as he lines his body up with mine.

"Look at me," he says as he pulls back. I smile and do just that, looking into his eyes as he slowly enters me. I bite my lower lip and hold my breath until he's all the way in.

He always feels so good.

He finally breaks eye contact and lets his head drop by mine as he starts moving. I bring my hand up to run down his back as I wrap my legs firmly around his waist. It's getting so hot in here and I start sweating as his body works against mine with quick movements.

I close my eyes and hold him a bit closer as each thrust jolts my body with a pleasurable hum.

"Oh, babe..." I mutter when he hits a very sensitive part of me and I arch my back as I tug on his hair a little.

He bites my neck in retaliation and I smile a little to myself from the pain.

He makes an odd noise after while... an odd noise that kind of sounds like a hiss and I open my eyes.

"What did you say?" I whisper against his ear as I let one of my legs drop.

"I wasn't talking to you," he says as he takes the fallen leg and pulls it up, resting it in the crook of his elbow. It allows him to go deeper and I make a whimpering noise because it hits that perfect spot.

"Who were you talking to then?" I ask as I crane my neck so I can see, but he grabs my hair and forces his lips onto mine.

"No one," he says flatly after pulling back.

I roll my eyes at how foolish he is before I use all the strength that I have to turn us so I'm the one of top. I give him a smug smile as I lower myself on top of him and I run my fingers up his clothed chest.

"Aren't you burning up?" I ask as I go to his buttons again, but he stops me with his hands firmly on my wrists.

"I said no," he says sharply and I furrow my brows at the serious and harsh way he just spoke to me.

That's nothing new to me. Draco gets especially on edge when we're intimate and I nod my head. "Okay," I whisper softly and he lets my wrists go.

I settle my hands back on his chest and I start moving again. We were having sex, after all. I should get back to that.

"I'm so hot," I say again after I pick up speed and then I quickly take off my dress, throwing it behind me before going back to him.

I lean down to kiss his neck and I move his hands to my back. "Take off my bra," I tell him.

I want to keep him involved. He laughs a little and it takes him all of two seconds to undo the hooks. I lean back up and let it slide down my arms. I throw that behind me as well and then I go back to him.

He's looking up at me with a little smile on his face.

A very pleased smile like a cat who just ate the mouse and I want to kiss it off of him. In fact, I do and he brings his hands up to clench around my waist as I bite and then tug on his lower lip. Usually when I'm on top, Draco puts his hands between my legs and kind of... helps me along. He's not doing that right away, so I take his hand and place it there because I need it.

He laughs again as he starts moving his fingers where I need them to be moved. "You know exactly what you want, don't you?" he says with a smug grin.

"I had a good teacher," I tell him with a smile.

I lean down to kiss him again, and then I feel something hard against my hand on his waist coat. Something is in his front pocket and I furrow my brows. I pull on the chain it's connected to and out comes a pocket watch. I stop moving and eye it curiously as I pop it open.

"When did you start carrying this?" I question.

"We're not having a chat session right now," he says as he takes it and snaps it shut. He rolls us so he's on top again. "No more talking," he orders as he slams into me.

It was such an electrifying feeling and I've never felt anything like it before. When I felt a burning sensation on my left hand, I went to take a look, but Draco grabbed my face again and forced a harsh kiss against my lips.

"I like that," I say as I bite my lower lip when he's done claiming my mouth, almost like I was in pain. It wasn't pain I was feeling.. it felt amazing and I wanted him to keep it up. He was jerking his hips at a different angle... and it was the greatest thing I've ever felt. "Don't stop," I whimper as I grip his shoulder and fist his shirt in my hand.

I look up at him, tears forming at the corners of my eyes because the feeling is so intense. For a moment, blond haired turned jet black and then blond again, like an image slightly out of focus. I shake my head and I lick my lips before bringing my free hand up to fist in his hair. It feels shorter in my fingers than I remember it being, but I shake that thought off because it's silly.

"Lovely little Ginny is enjoying herself," he says with a sly smile.

I can't bother to respond.

I'm right on the edge of climax and when it finally comes I kiss Draco firmly as I moan into his mouth. I arch my back and almost push him out of me because the feeling is so intense and it almost kind of hurts because my whole body is now so sensitive. I don't, though, I prolong the moment, and I can feel a tear leak from the corner of my eye as I ride it out.

After I'm finished, I rest back and close my eyes, basking in the after glow as he continues to move on top of me.

He's not finished yet and he keeps going... I open my eyes to stare at him, to smile at him, but I stop myself because it doesn't seem right... there's something about him that seems off and I figure it must be because of the powerful orgasm I just had.

I blink as his features start shifting... they start changing... his hair... black... I blink away and shake my head... black hair... He looks down at me, sweat starting to gather on his brow... gray turns to... turns to... red...

Draco turned to Tom... Tom smiled at me...

I was shocked awake and when he continued to look down at me with that cold smile curling his lips, I realized all too soon what was happening to me.

It was real. This wasn't a dream and it wasn't Draco who was about ready to cum inside of me.

He was on top of me... he was in me...

"Stop," I push at his chest, trying to get him away from violating my body anymore then I had already allowed.

How could this happen... how could this...

"Someone woke up from my spell," he whispered against my ear. I felt dirty and I started fighting him as he held my hands down. "You were much more compliant a moment ago. I think I even had you moaning."

"Stop!" I scream as I try to buck him off.

I can't help but feel completely panicked right now. I can't believe I'm having sex with the Dark Lord. I can't believe I had allowed it to get this far, curse or not.

"Hush," he says in my ear as he grabs my hands and pushes them into the ground.

We're not on a bed, or a couch, we're on a ground and I look up to see where we are. I can't place the room right away but when I see the tall empty ceilings, I know... It's that weird building at Folk Hills. That weird building where I saw him murder Delsia and the unicorn. Clubhouse five.

I look back at him again, his red eyes flecked with black.

I need to fight.

Fight.

"Get off!" I yell. Trying to arch my back as I feel tears well up in my eyes. How did this happen? It was like being possessed again. "No. Get off of me!" I scream loudly as I try to wrestle against him.

"Stop fighting. I'm almost finished," he says and I shake my head.

No, no, no. I didn't realize I was saying it out loud until he covered my mouth with his ice cold hand to silence me.

"Don't be rude," he snaps. "You had your fun, now it's my turn."

My thoughts are all over the place, I just keep trying to fight, but he's stronger and I can't... get... up...

"Don't make me curse you again," he hisses against my ear, making me shiver. "I could make you love it again. Oh, babe..." he mocks my words from before when I thought he was someone else... someone I loved... "Kiss me. Don't stop."

I don't want that either and I try not to throw up or pass out as I damn my own body for being weaker than his.

"You don't have to be weak," he whispers, taking the thought from my mind.

He drops his head by my own with his hand still firmly pressed over my mouth and he hammers into my body a few more times before he's finished. He rests his heavy body against mine for a few moments and I let tears leak from the corner of my eyes. He's still fully clothed and his tie clip is digging uncomfortably into my sternum. He licks my neck one more time before pulling out of me and I just stare at the air in front of my face as he gets up and rights his pants.

Did this really happen? I bring my hand up to my neck where he licked and I pull back. Blood coats my fingers and I glance at him because I'm waiting to wake up from this dream.

But deep down I know it's real.

"Well, that does have it's merits," he says as he tucks in his shirt. He lifts his hand and a silver mirror appears before him as he buckles his belt. "I feel much more relaxed now. They say it's a great stress reducer," he says as he combs his fingers through his hair while he eyes his reflection with a pleased grin on his face. "You have completely messed up my hair," he adds as he straightens it and I bite my lip.

God, it really happened.

I can feel him still inside of me and I suddenly come to as I scramble to put on my knickers and dress once more. They had been discarded a few feet away from me and I quickly put them on as I try to ignore what he left between my legs and the implication of what that means.

"You could be great, Ginevra," he says as he straightens his collar. "I don't understand why you resist it. You could have stopped that if you wanted," he says as he motions to the floor where it happened. "You could have done so much, but you didn't because you're a coward. Or..." he trails off and gives me thoughtful look from the magic mirror. "You wanted that to happen."

"I didn't want that to happen," I tell him harshly as I stand and cross my arms protectively over my chest. I feel like taking a shower and scrubbing between my legs until all traces of him are gone for good. "You said you cursed me."

"I did," he nods his head. "And you broke that curse rather easily which is quite a feat. You know how powerful I am," he says darkly as he tightens his tie. "I've made great wizards kill their whole families and not remember it in the morning. You have squandered potential."

I hate that I seem to be watching him groom himself and I look towards the door.

"But that's all you did. With our forces combined we could be amazing together, Ginevra," he says off offhandedly like he didn't just... rape me. "I don't know why you can't see that. It's so irritating how childish you are. Stop being such a coward about it."

He did rape me, right? I slept with him under false pretenses.

I was cursed.

That's rape?

Rape.

It was hard to think about.

With another shock to my system I remembered the freaking potion Draco made me drink and what it would do. I looked at the Dark Lord as he prepared himself and I almost threw up. I couldn't let this happen. I couldn't have his child. I didn't even know if a body made of magic could produce something as such, but I don't want to chance it. I need to get to my school trunk. I need to get to that velvet bag of potions Ruth had given me.

I look at the door again before making a run for it. When I throw it open, I don't see land or the pathways of Folk Hills. I see water... like the ocean, trailing far and wide as the eye could see. I freeze as I stare at it. I can't swim and I'm terrified of deep water but even if I wasn't... where would I go?

"What magic is this?" I ask softly and then I look over my shoulder at Tom as he stares at his reflection like a vain thing.

"I'm the most powerful wizard in the world, Ginny," he said my name like it was a joke. "I didn't get to where I am today by being painfully average."

I feel my hands shaking as he stares at me.

"Come, I want to show you something."

"No-" I barely got the word out of my mouth before he snapped his fingers and magic unlike anything I've ever felt before clenched around my stomach and lurched me back towards him until we were standing side by side in front of that ghastly floating mirror.

"Stop being so difficult," he chastises as he pulls me until I'm standing in front of him. "You should be honored to be in such close vicinity to a great wizard."

I would snort if it wasn't so serious.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wand. I hold my breath, thinking he's going to curse me again... but he didn't. He preformed a spell I didn't know and a record player appeared by our side. When I gave him a questioning look, he smiled and put the needle on the record. Music started to play, big band music from an older era that was hard on my ears.

"When I was your age," he says as the piano, trumpets, cello's, violins, and all other kinds of orchestra instruments invade my ear. "There was a war going on as well," he says and a singer comes on in a deep and throaty voice... It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing... "Muggles were killing each other left and right with guns and bombs and gas."

His lip are close to my ear and he puts his hand across my stomach.... It makes no difference if it's sweet or it's hot...

"I had a hell of a time in Germany," he says with a smile against the my ear, the music moving in the background, echoing off the walls. "When people die during war, no one seems to care very much. They all just blamed the man with that terrible mustache," he says with an amused smirk. "I was able to hone my skill," he says as he taps his fingers against my stomach, like he was keeping time with the music. "It's funny how so many magical persons in our world claim to love muggles so much, but they didn't dare lift a finger to help them when they nearly destroyed each other. Everyone has an agenda, Ginevra," he adds darkly. "Remember that."

I swallow hard.

….Just give that rhythm everything you've got...

"When I tortured my first muggle," he says, his breath hot against my neck. "This song was playing. It always seems to put me in the mood," he says with a little smile.

…. It don't mean a thing...

"Now it's our turn for war. Now it's my turn for victory."

….if it ain't got that swing...

"It is wonderful, is it not?"

The music keeps playing like some kind of demented circus and I can't help but ask."Why?" I whisper as I think of his hand covering my mouth as he... did that terrible thing to me. "Why did you have... to do... that to me?" I knew it wasn't for his own amusement. I knew it couldn't just be for the sex and that made me even more uneasy.

I put my hand across my stomach and try to tell myself that it's not my fault even though I feel like it is.

If it was war he wanted, having sex with me was pointless.

"Draco Malfoy isn't the only one who knows how to do a bonding spell," he says and my eyes widen at my reflection. He smiles at me. "The foundation of our union was made long before he was even a thought in his parents mind. It was a silly thing for him to try," he says against my ear and I want to flick him away... but he's not Draco... He won't just scold me or glare... he just might torture me for it. "I can't have that. You know how important you are to me," he says with a cruel smirk as he puts hair over my shoulder.

I feel sick.

How will I ever tell people about this? How could I ever admit that he... did that to me.

Draco would probably never want to touch me again and everyone would look at me differently.

I feel disgusting.

"It will end tonight," he says seriously as he looks in the mirror, studying my terrified face. "Potter... the Order... all the little rebels within my own circle who were foolish enough to go against me. My power will be absolute after tonight," he says as he taps the mirror. "And you shall stay here, where you can watch as I kill every single person you love," he says seriously. "Afterward, I imagine you will see the world differently. Perhaps you will finally realize what the implication of being with me means."

I swallow hard and when he puts his palm against the mirror our reflections vanish, revealing the front hallway of Hogwarts, showing before us like a picture.

The record changes and a new song emerges. Another old song from a forgotten decade. ...Would you like to swing on a star...I hate it. I want it to stop...carry moonbeams home in a jar...

"You have a front row seat to the battle, little one," he says against my hair as he uses his hand to switch the picture to another area of the school, where students are running, screaming, as Death Eaters throw curses at them.

The song keeps playing. It's light subject matter and pleasant music in stark contrast to the images I'm seeing.

"You should pay attention," he says as he moves to another area, by Hagrid's old cabin where I see Luna Lovegood hiding with Romilda Vane behind a pile of dirt. "This will be a turning point in history," he whispers. "This will be when I stomp out all opposition... This will be a historic day," I can feel him smile against my neck and then he steps back.

"What is this?" I ask as I look around the mirror.

"I've had the security charms installed earlier in the year," he says seriously as I move my hand across the mirror. With each movement a new area of the castle is revealed...by the way if you hate to go to school... "Nothing could hide from me," he says as I pass the Head Boy room. Draco is there... glaring as he speaks to Blaise Zabini... his face still a mess of gashes and blood. "Even the things people wanted to hide." ….You may grow up to be a mule...

"Draco..." I trail off as I say his name.

"The thing Draco Malfoy fails to realize is that no matter how absolute you think your power is, you will always have a traitor who rats you out."

Millicent.

I feel hatred boiling in my heart when I think of her.

That's why she didn't show at school. It has to be...

"Speaking of rats," he says as he snaps his fingers. A short fat man comes limping into the room carrying a wooden box and a black cloak. "Ginevra, meet your new friend Peter Pettigrew, or as he's better known as... Wormtail."

I knew him. I knew him instantly. I knew him because Harry had told me... I knew him because he had lived as a rat on my brother's shoulder for years. I knew him because he was a traitor to the Order.

I hated him.

He was the worst kind of traitor and he was the reason why the Potter's were dead... why Harry's life was hard... Why the Dark Lord was able to return to power... He was the worst of all evils.

The Dark Lord grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him.

"I wish you could see how great you could be under my tutelage. I will never try to hold you back. I would never squander your potential like the countless others who claimed to love you did. I will never make you be less than what you're intended to be. You could be a powerful witch, Ginny. I'm not afraid to admit that and if you follow me... swear allegiance to me, I could give you the world in return. I won't treat you like a child or like a porcelain doll with no brain. I will treat you with respect."

That's rich, after what he just did to me.

"I only ask for your respect and loyalty in return." He puts his hand on my stomach like he was hoping that something was forming there already and he smiles at me. It was a hateful and cruel smile that made me sick. "My Ginevra," he says my name, his voice sounding darkly seductive and darkly like Tom Riddle in the chamber. "How you've changed so much."

I wait until he drops his hand and then I let out the breath I was holding.

"And you will continue to evolve and change. You will see," he says, smirking at me as Wormtail helps him into his cloak. "You will do the right thing eventually. Every one will come to see things my way in the end. You just wait."

He left after that, going out the door where the water was so high it reached his knees... and he was gone in flash. After he disappeared, I was left with the greatest traitor of all and I glared at Wormtail as he glared right back at me.

"What's in the box?" I ask, trying to think of a clever way to get around him and out of here to help my friends and family.

"Something you don't need to be concerned about," he says, flicking a glance down to my stomach.

"Why?"

"Just because you have all of a sudden catapulted yourself into his good graces does not mean that the rest of us, who have put in the blood, sweat, and tears," he says, showing me his silver hand. "have to bow to your requests as well."

"Don't you?" I ask, playing it up as I put my hand on my stomach for added affect. "I'm sure you will be very sorry for saying that to me."

I held my breath for a response and then he started to laugh, his double chin jiggling with the movement.

I hear a scream and I turn back to the mirror quickly, ignoring Peter Pettigrew and his horrid face.

The battle is heavy and I feel very useless just sitting in this fucking room. I go towards it and put my hand on the surface, moving it to the side so I can see the rest of the castle. People I know... People I love are dueling and I can hardly watch it as they fight and dodge deadly curses thrown at their chests. I see my father fighting a rough looking Death Eater who has facial scars and I smile a little to myself to see the fire in his old eyes.

Draco got to them. Draco put them back together... only to turn around and fight to the death.

I can't watch it anymore and I turn the mirror again until it lands on the front courtyard of the castle. People are screaming and the crowd parts when Voldemort, in all his dark and evil glory, appears out of thin air. He looks like a tragic hero all dressed in black in some twisted fairytale.

The record changed again and another song started back up as I watched the carnage before me.

... You must have been a beautiful baby...

The Dark Lord is fierce with his wand and I cover my mouth when I see it.

…. You must have been a wonderful child...

I've never seen anything like it and I start biting my nails as he kills everyone in his path with a flick of his wrist, never once breaking a sweat over the power he's using.

….When you were only starting to go to Kindergarten... I bet you drove the little boys wild...

Mad eye moody, one of the roughest wizards I know goes down with a curse aimed to his chest. I can't believe this is happening.

…. And when it came to winning blue ribbons...you must have shown the other kids how...

"Oh, my God," I whisper as he sends a curse to Professor Sprout that takes off her head.

….I can see the judges eyes... as they handed you the prize...

Wormtail comes beside me and elbows me to get a look as well. "Do you see how great Our Lord is," he whispers in awe as he watches his boss take out half the castle.

I see countless people, adults and students alike, fall victim to his wand.

….I bet you made the cutest bow...

He's a powerful wizard. There was no denying that and I have never feared more for Harry or Draco than I do at this moment.

This was real.

I take a deep breath as he reaches into his pocket and I step away from Wormtail to see better as the Dark Lord pulls out a small metallic ball that shines with the fireworks of curses being thrown.

I know exactly what that is and I take a step closer to the mirror see what he's going to do with it. I watch with wide eyes as he throws it into the air and then he aims his wand right at it and blasts it with a curse that looks like black smoke.

The ball explodes and the brightest light I had ever seen burns through the mirror. It hurts my eyes and I back away and shake my head to make the dots go away. When I come to again, I look back at the mirror. The image of the castle is back, but the Dark Lord is the only thing standing. Everyone within walking distance seems to be on the ground, their skin charred from whatever dark curse he used with the contained soul to kill them.

…...You must have been a beautiful baby...

I hear more blood curdling screams as the Dark Lord looks over his shoulder. He looks up for a moment, right where my view is...and I swear he smirked at me before traveling into the building.

….'Cause, baby, look at you now...
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Envy and Manipulations